Blearily, Sirius looked around and was surprised to find that his head was ringing. A few moments later he realised that he had somehow ended up in the infirmary – which was never good news, but at the moment was horrendous. Not only had he managed to reopen the wounds on his back, but he'd come to the infirmary where it was someone's job to check him for wounds. This was his worst nightmare. Vague memories of being jumped by dimwits plagued him, so he called out to ask for a cure to his fuzzy head. Madame Pomfrey scurried over.

"Now I don't know what on earth you were doing Sirius Black to get those wounds reopened, but you really need to stop visiting me in the infirmary. Here's something to help with those dreadful slash marks down your back."

"Thanks."

"You should take care of yourself more Mr. Black, you were passed out cold for an hour or two there. "Sirius moved to ask her to keep the whip marks a secret when she interrupted him, "Don't you worry about me keeping your little secret either. I'm a vault."

"Thanks," he muttered lamely. All he could think about was that the marauders were auspiciously absent.

"That reminds me," she remarked, "if you want to get back today, you should go now. I'm sick and tired of guarding the door so that your friends can't sneak in. The schemes they've concocted already are horrendous enough."

Sirius giggled, trust the marauders to manage to aggravate someone in less than an hour. It had always been a special talent of theirs. Returning to the moment at hand he dove into his sweater, shook his hair out and rushed for the door; he couldn't wait to start plotting his revenge. No one messed with a marauder.

"There you are! I was starting to think it was Sirius injuries that landed you in there… Get it? Sirius injuries?" Sirius just sighed; James' humour was always slightly questionable; it was a staple of life at Hogwarts. Peter was the only one who always appreciated it – openly at least. Nevertheless, seeing the three of them huddled behind the door had placed a smile on his face.

"You are alright though, aren't you?" So apparently it was nervous humour.

"Yeah, I'm fine, Mulciber, Avery, Snivellus and Amycus aren't going to be though. The dirtwads ambushed me on my way to get pie. Them and Lucius, but I don't think we should go after him."

"Are you sure Padfoot?" Remus was normally the voice of reason, it was surprising to hear him advocating for violence - against a prefect especially, but he had a hard edge to his tone. He was angry, Sirius realised with no small amount of shock. Sirius assured them that he was sure, the beating had given him a short-lived sense of humility and he had no desire to end up in a similar situation again. Snivellus and the other losers stood no chance however as they plotted and conspired on their way back to the dorms. It was only later that Sirius realised that someone must have carried him to the infirmary. A worrying prospect if ever there was one.

Hours later as Sirius went for an early night – a weird activity for anyone in their right mind, he was assured by James, he found a miniscule pot of salve with a note tucked behind it. In lazy handwriting, the note read:

'Don't worry about your secret it's safe with me. Keep your pride, but try the salve, please.
From someone who wants you to take better care of yourself'

Remus felt a smug grin creep its way up his face, he wanted to take care of the idiotic, bumbling dimwit he had become so attached to and he'd found the perfect way to do it, not to mention the excitement that cam from pulling something like this off in front of Sirius' nose. James was babbling some more and Peter was nodding energetically, something about the giant squid in the lake, fish food and Snivellus. Remus was no longer at a loss to what caused James' particular animosity towards Snape, not since he had seen dozens of doodles of the letters L.E. or noticed the extra special fluffing of the hair whenever Lily came in sight. That didn't stop him from thinking it was utterly ridiculous unfortunately. Especially since Mulciber and Avery were obviously the ones to devise extra special torments for, or pranks, that would work as well. Remus reached for yet another chocolate frog hoping to silence his vicious edge by placating his hunger. His wolf side could not win, he would not let himself become a monstrosity that lashed out on instinct. Mind turning to happier things, he pondered whether to leave a chocolate bar in Sirius' trunk, or whether that was far too obvious. Even Madame Pomfrey knew that chocolate healed though, so perhaps that was what was needed next.

Still unaware of Remus and his plans, James was getting yet more elaborate in his descriptions of revenge.

"We should petrificus totalus them and hang them from the rafters in the owlery, before coating them in treats and leaving to sneak into the Slytherin dorms and stick (using a sticking charm) all of their underwear to the walls of the great hall!" Remus was impressed.

"Perhaps, but how would we sneak into the Slytherin dormitories?"

Peter was eager to respond with: "Why, we wait until the room is entered in the invisibility cloak and then sneak in behind them."

"Or we could always nick their transfiguration books from them when they are immobilised and stick them to a really random tower wall where they will never be found. Professor McGonagall will tear their throats out for even being late." Remus was actually quite proud of his idea.

"You're quite right. I do believe that that would work. You were silent for so long there Moony that I was worried that you weren't listening to any of my brilliant, nay extraordinary ideas."

"Never fear Prongs. I could never get bored of your 'extraordinary' ideas." Remus winced, thinking his sarcasm might have come across a little strong. Sure enough, James was looking woebegone, making puppy dog eyes.

"You don't really mean that do you Moony?"

"Of course not Prongs. Don't mind me. It's just my time of the month, that's all." James snickered upon hearing this, because (as intended) Remus' choice of words had cheered him up. He and Peter headed out for some pie, because Sirius had never brought any back and Remus hollered at them to 'remember my chocolate'. A smile shoved its way onto his face and he reluctantly relaxed. He firmly promised himself that they would get the smarmy dirtbags that had tortured Sirius and that the posturing idjits wouldn't know what had hit them when it came.

A/N:

I really don't like Peter, so I'm sorry if that comes across in my writing. I do try to be objective.