Sirius was not upset. He was not confused. He was definitely not hurt that the gifts had stopped arriving as abruptly as they'd started. He'd only received two - the mystery well-wisher was obviously busy doing something else, or maybe they were trapped, or maybe they thought that he was alright now. It definitely wasn't that they'd forgotten about him. Besides, it didn't matter to Sirius because he had important things to be getting on with – the full moon for example. Remus had been stuck in the hospital wing 24 hours a day for the last three days. Come nightfall, they would be able to run around ridiculously for the last time in a month, and while Sirius was going to miss that, it would be worth it to get Remus back. The Marauders hadn't been able to talk to him for two whole days. It didn't bother James or Peter half as much; they'd gotten used to being deprived of Remus' level head for a few days a month. It wasn't as if it mattered in the long term, but to Sirius it felt like the world was ending and his tendencies to be a general nuisance in class definitely got worse when there was nobody to reign him in. Snivellus always suffered as well – albeit deservedly.

When the Marauders had stumbled home the first night of the full moon, they were distinctly annoyed to remember that they'd already drunk all the alcohol they owned (or didn't in some cases) and would have nothing to numb the pain as cuts were sewn up or healing spells performed. They managed with the last vestiges of their alcohol coats and settled in for a catnap.

Now, it was all Sirius could do to be grateful that yet again, he hadn't got any injuries on his back. The salve he'd received had worked wonders with the other scrapes he'd gotten; a not-a-blessing in disguise, as Peter had been very interested in how Sirius had healed so quickly and why he was being deliberately vague about which injuries he had received. Having his injuries investigated was, quite frankly, the last thing Sirius needed right now. He supposed he could have told Peter about the gifts, but then he'd have to explain why he'd been given them and it wouldn't be his little secret anymore. As it happened, he needn't have worried.

"Prongs, look what I've found in Padfoot's trunk," crowed Peter.

"Is it really necessary we look at whatever it is right this minute Wormtail?" James must have been rejected by Lily yet again, he was being particularly apathetic.

"Oh yes, because Padfoot has a secret admirer, and better yet, he hasn't even burnt their note!"

"Give it here Wormtail. I don't fancy you going through my private things. Why were you even looking in my trunk anyway? You better not have read it."

"But it just says 'Do you like chocolate?'. How is that private? Besides, there's no need to get grumpy about it, you get these every other day."

James was interested now, but Sirius had precisely zero interest in explaining why this one was different. Not that it mattered to them - they decided they were going to find out whether he told them anything or not.

"Sooooo. What's so special about this secret admirer Padsie? I've never known you to not just Incendio whatever thoughtful sentiments come your way."

"Would you really like to continue signing your death warrant Prongsie dear?" Sirius uttered sweetly.

"Prongs! I bet I know why they are different."

"No need to look so smug Wormtail, what is it?"

"They left him chocolate with it, didn't they Padfoot?"

"Yes, they've been leaving me presents and notes. Happy now?"

"So there's been more than one. Curious… Curious.. Tell me Watson, who do you think is leaving these notes?"

"Wait a sec Prongs - Padfoot, you haven't eaten anything have you? You know it's a common tactic to inject love potion into these things don't you? Jeez, why must you be so dumb?"

"Look, don't worry. Alright. I know they wouldn't do that, they're special."

"Mate, you aren't exactly proving any point except Wormtail's. C'mon Wormtail let's get him to Slughorn for an antidote."

"I don't even know who they are James Potter. Lay off it," Sirius dropped his head into his hands, "Look you can help me track them down ok? But only if you aren't pretentious, condescending prats. I guess I could use your help."

"So do you even know what gender they are? Not that it matters to you mate, but it might help."

"I don't know, but I'm not openly gay, so what bloke would send me a note. Not that its even a love letter for that matter. All you need to know is they've left me two notes with gifts that will remain private, but they've stopped. I haven't received one since the day before our little monthly outing. Oh, and they must have been the one that carried me to the hospital wing, because they left me something to help me heal." Sirius figured it wasn't lying; he was just omitting parts of the truth. It wasn't like they needed to know about the whip marks.

Spending hours talking to portraits was made only slightly more bearable by talking with James and Peter. They'd been passing back and forth increasingly far-fetched and ridiculous theories, but it was good fun.

"Oi, you said that they stopped for the full moon, right, maybe they're a werewolf!"

That particular suggestion from Peter wasn't even worth an eye roll, let alone a response. They knew that Remus was the only werewolf at the school, talk about dumb. Unless… It was impossible, Remus would have approached him if he'd found out surely? Sirius dismissed it, but vowed to keep an eye on Remus from now on just in case. It wasn't as if the notes were romantic anyway and their research with the portraits hadn't exactly turned up any better results. This was just another disappointing failure of an investigation. Sirius wasn't even sure why he had invested so much time in finding this person, but he guessed it was because it felt like they cared.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Tick, tock, went the clock. Drip. Drop. Drip. Drop. Drip, drop, went the last bit of Remus' sanity. His only company was school work; the Marauders had been on a quest for mischief elsewhere, apparently. While Remus still felt like he had a monstrous head-cold, the time for escaping the endless monotony of the infirmary was near. Remus had elected to ignore the fact that that meant he needed to have his work ready to hand in, given that he had been putting off doing it for three days now and just didn't fancy actually doing it. Besides, he was having much more fun planning out what he was going to give Sirius next. Something a bit more personal this time, maybe a charm to ward off pain or a recipe for a soup? Remus was more than a little clueless about what was an acceptable idea for an anonymous gift for their health.
Madame Pomfrey bustled over, "You, boy, I think you might want to be a bit wary, the other day, your young friend was in here asking about who carried him to the infirmary after his 'accident'. It seems he's sniffing you out. I thought I'd let you know."

Remus smiled weakly as his thoughts spun. He hadn't expected Sirius to worry about the person who'd carried him to the infirmary as a loose end, he'd sent him the note saying that he would keep the secret.

Speaking of the devil, Sirius cascaded through the door, nearly got run over by Peter, and then came to a halt at Remus' bedside. The smug grin on Peter's face put Remus on edge, the poor boy looked like his face was about to explode, and the only time he ever looked like that was if he had gossip; Sirius, apart from looking pleased to see him, was looking rather resigned to a deadly fate; and James was fidgeting – none of these things were particularly promising of an enjoyable, stress-free day, but when put all together suggested something far worse.

"Padfoot has a secret admirer!" Well Remus certainly hadn't seen that one coming. "He's been sent all these cutsie notes and now he wants to track down their sender. Padfoot's in love."

"Wormtail…I'm not in love, it was two notes and they've stopped. I'm just curious as to who it is that's sending them."

Remus blinked once or twice. He must be the 'secret admirer'. That wasn't quite how he'd meant his notes to come across. He yawned and shot them a vague grin. This was very bad. Very. Very. Bad. Not only did this mean that they were looking for him, but two of the brightest people at the school were on his tail.

"So, what's the deal? What do you know so far?" At the very least, Remus would be able to keep up to date with what they knew.

"Padsie here got two letters. One with chocolate and one that was just a note. They aren't very romantic. Honestly, if someone was going to go to all this trouble, they could at least have been a bit more obvious. Padsie still isn't convinced they're interested in him romantically, although we're sure he's interested in them."

Remus almost choked.

"Prongs"

"Oh, yeah, but we aren't meant to mention that,"

Remus went from stopping himself from choking to suffocating a laugh. James desperately needed to learn how to wink subtly. He had more important things to muse over that needed immediate attention. Sirius was not interested in him? Was he? That was James just being James, right? It would be awkward otherwise, because it wasn't as if he liked Sirius like that at all. Not at all.

"Oi, come on we're here to let you loose of these terrible shackles," declared Sirius, staring at the bed Remus was sitting in, "Let's skedaddle. I have better things to do with my time."

Yes, Remus was definitely not attracted to someone who could be such an arrogant fool.