CHAPTER 5

"Our child.."

A dream, yes this must be a dream. Jeongwon convinced himself that he is just inside an illusion because it was impossible. How? Is this a prank? If it is, this is not funny.

"What do you mean? How-"

Before he could finish his question, the baby started crying again. Gyeoul immediately claimed the baby to calm her down. Jeongwon on the other hand, just stood there, trying to process the information. He sat down, cupped his face with his hands, do not know what else to say. He couldn't quite comprehend the situation, and worse, he can't imagine the pain he gave her the whole time without him knowing.

There was just silence. Meanwhile, the other four were eavesdropping outside the office. They were about to leave but Ikjun was itching to find out what will happen next, so they stayed. Ik-jun got his ears attached at the door, while Junwan was peeping between the tiny gaps of it, Seokhyeong in the other end while Song-hwa kept on telling Ik-jun that it's her turn to eavesdrop.

"Sorry, it's past Grace's bedtime. We should go, I mean..me and Grace."

"No, I will drive you home. That's the least I can do, for now."

"They're about to leave…" Junwan voiced out, but before he could say his next words, the door opened, all of them fell into the ground. Jeongwon just stared at them. They got up and straighten themselves up, they pursed themselves, eyes pleading for forgiveness. Jeongwon just sighed and tell them he should catch up on them later because for now, he needs to be with them – his child, and his love. Songhwa grabbed Ikjun's hands, while saying their goodbyes, now, for real.

The drive was awfully quiet. Gyeoul sat at the backseat, adjacent to where Grace's baby seat was located. Funny, how Jeongwon just noticed it now, the baby seat at the back. He was too preoccupied with the thought of getting back with her earlier that he didn't care for anything else. He glanced at them to see that Gyeoul was asleep, she must be tired, and the baby with a pacifier on her mouth was also sound asleep. She's just like her mother, he let out a smile but deep inside he didn't know if he is worthy to say those words.

They finally arrived at Gyeoul's house. He softly wakes her up to tell her they're already here.

Gyeoul dressed Grace's to sleep and put her in her cradle. How she wishes, she could stay longer in that room because she knew the moment she walks out from it, she'll have to face Jeongwon, who was still waiting in the living room.

"Coffee?" She offered.

"No, it's fine." He stood up, walked towards the counter where Gyeoul was.

"Gyeoul-ah, I'm sorry…I didn't know…I shouldn't have left."

"Oppa..I mean, Jeongwon-ssi, it's my fault. I was about to tell you but things happened..and eomoni..I can't find the right time..then you wanted to take a break…I was about to tell you that day, but I was too late.. and I didn't even know that you were leaving…"

FLASHBACK

Jeongwon changed. He was a wreck. He gets irritated easily, he wasn't acting like Jeongwon at all. His friends reached out to him, but they're just being ignored..even Gyeoul. Like they were invisible.

"Hey..you should eat."

"It's okay, I'm fine."

"I can cook for you, what do you want?"

"No…really."

"How bout a take-out? Tteokbo.."

"I SAID I'M FINE!?" He shouts at her, for the first time. Gyeoul dropped her phone out of daze…Joengwon immediately noticed it and felt guilty.

"Look..I'm sorry Gyeoul-ah..I didn't me-"

"It's okay Jeongwon-ssi." She let out a bitter smile then picked her phone on the ground. She held his hand to assure him that she was fine, but who is she kidding, she wasn't. It's almost a month now when she first found out she's pregnant, but until now, she still hasn't told him.

"I'm sorry if I'm being too nosy. It's just that, you haven't properly eaten for days. We're worried. I know you're still mourning, but so am I. I also miss her."

"No, you don't understand."

"Then make us understand you. Jeongwon, your pushing people away…and that…that includes me."

"….Just call me if you need something. I'll be off now, Gyosunim."

Gyosunim. It felt like a cold bucket of water was poured into his body. He had gone out of his mind. All these past few days, he tried to keep it all by himself. He thought he was alone, that no one was there for him. He shut everyone out, even Gyeoul. He was too angry at the world, to God. Of all people, why does it have to be his mother? His mother who gambled everything for him, his mother that he loved so dearly. Later then he realized, that he was being selfish, and too hard on himself. If Rosa is still here, would she be happy to see him like this? Fussing over what has already happened, and not moving forward? Will she be happy to see him push his friends away? Her precious daughter-in-law? No. Of course, she won't.

He then decided to go home – to his shared apartment with her girlfriend. As he rode the elevator to their floor he reminisces what just happened earlier. The way he shouts at her, for the first time. What have I done? He thought to himself. He pursed his lips, trying to think of ways to apologize to her.

As he arrived, he slowly walked in not to wake her up. He opened the door to their bedroom and saw her sound asleep. He sat on the other side of the bed, and caressed her head, telling her he's sorry for what he said earlier. Not getting any response, he lies down beside her, hugged her from behind, his face nudged on her neck.

"Gyeoulah, mianhe."

On the other hand, Gyeoul woke up with his gestures but pretended she wasn't. She was hurt, but she also misses him. She can't even remember when was the last time they've got intimate with each other, the last time they kissed or even held hands. She knows she needs to be there for him especially during this hard time, but how about her? Who's taking care of her? Thoughts rummage but one "I'm sorry" from him eases everything….for now.

Days past, and the distance between is growing more each day. Yes, they eat together, sleep together, but the feeling of emptiness, of something missing can be felt. They need to talk. Jeongwon also notices that she's been looking pale these days. Maybe it was stress on work…or because of him. The thought of her holding on to this relationship for him, just for the sake of him, terrified him. What if she's no longer happy?

She smiled at him, but it wasn't like before. Her eyes were sad, and weary, and hurting.

"Gyeoul-ah, is something wrong?"

"Nothing, I'm just tired these days."

"Gyeoulah, just tell me if you don't want this anymore."

"Why Jeongwon-ssi? What makes you think of that?"

"I know, I got stubborn and pushed you away. I can't bear seeing you hurting..because of me…."

"Do you want me to leave?"

"No, of course not. It's just that….I think we need a break."

I think we need a break.

I think we need a break.

I think we need a break.

"Y-yeah..w-we can do that.." That's all she can say. There's more she wanted to spill, questions she wants to ask, but her mouth betrayed her. So this is what heartbreak feels like. A dagger pierced into your heart, your senses getting out of your body, and the voluntary reaction of your sweat glands to produce tears crawl down your cheeks. There was silence between them, both were hurting.

Jeongwon didn't expect her to say yes, but it was too late. He's a fool to ask for it without thinking it through in the first place. Can he take it back? He saw a drop of tear flowed down her cheeks. He tried to wipe it but she flinched. Excusing herself for a moment. She feels nauseous so she head to the bathroom, opened the faucet to high pressure so Jeongwon can't hear. She then looked at her reflection in the mirror and started sobbing and throwing up. When she walked out, Jeongwon already left, with a note on the table saying there was an emergency patient. She sighed, again.

"You're leaving?"

"What are you talking about? I'm just being assigned to a remote place somewhere."

He's lying. He just wanted to get away with everything. He needs time to think and be alone for quite some time. He doesn't care where just faraway from this country. I know it was a petty reason but for him, it's the only thing he can do for now.

"Did you tell Gyeoul about this?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because we are on a break. What's the point?"

"You're an idiot you know that. That's exactly the point! I'm gonna call her now." Ikjun protested.

"Hajima, I don't want to hurt her more."

Of course, he considered telling her but he's afraid it will break her even more. Seeing her cry during that day they decided to take a break, was enough for him. He doesn't want her to suffer because of him, he loves her, very much, but he's a fool who runs away when hit by certain circumstances.

"Fool! So, how long will you be gone?"

"I don't know, about a month or year?"

"When are you leaving?"

"This afternoon at 5pm."

"WHAT?! And you're just telling us now?!"

"Oh, that's sad. I can't go with you to the airport, I've got a lot of outpatients this afternoon."

"Gwenchana. Your patients come first."

Seokhyeong was waiting for his last outpatient of the day. He was about to leave, was about to open the door when an angry Chu Min-ha barged into his office, with still her scrubs on. She just got back from a surgery she assisted by one of the professors when he overheard from the nurses that Ahn Jeongwon from the Pediatric Surgery department was leaving, and by leaving, they meant far away.

"Gyosunim, do you know where Prof Ahn is right now?"

"Why? What's wrong? Do we have an emergency?"

"No, just please answer me." Her eyes were basically pleading.

"Oh, he said he needed to take a break. So he's going overseas."

"How long?"

"That, we didn't know. He said something about clearing his mind."

"Okay, but do you know when is he leaving?"

"Why? You're scaring me."

"Just please, gyosunim tell me."

"His plane just left."

"What do you mean his plane just left?" Both of them turned to the voice direction. They saw a confused Jang Gyeoul, walking towards them, with Eggdrop sandwiches in a bag on her hand. She finally decided to take the first step to make their relationship work again. It was just a misunderstanding, every relationship goes through that, all she needs to do is talk to him, and apologize, and maybe everything will be back to normal again. She even ordered his favorite Eggdrop sandwich, also, planning to tell him about her pregnancy. She planned everything for this day to be perfect, but all of it shattered into pieces.

"Gyeoul-ah."

"He didn't tell you?"

"No..n-no he didn't. Gyosunim, what do you mean his plane just left?"

"Is he on a business trip or something? When will he come back?" SeokHyeong met her eyes. He saw desperation and pain. He didn't know what to say. He's afraid that what he'll utter will more break the now shattered pieces of her being.

She whimpered at his silence. Then she fell to the ground, unconscious.

"Gyeoulah!"

"Dr. Jang!?"

"Minha, what is happening?"

"That heartless jerk. I swear to God, I'm going to kill him."

Seokhyeong carried her, with Chu Minha sobbing holding her best friend's hand, still unconscious. He then lay her on a bed, that's also when he realized what was going on. To confirm his suspicion, he asked Min-ha who spilled everything to him about the situation. He cupped his face out of frustration, then excused himself for a bit. He was mad..no he's furious. How could this happen?! He dialed Junwan who volunteered to drop him at the airport, together with Song-hwa and Ikjun, praying maybe his flight was delayed or something.

"Oh , seokhyeong-ah?"

"Is Jeongwon still there?"

"You, you know his plane just left. Where going back to the hospital now, why?"

"That bastard, I swear I'm gonna kill him."

"Why what's happening?"

"Seokhyeong-ah, gwenchana. He'll call you when he lands. Such a baby."

"Ya, Junwan, can you put it on speaker phone." Song-wha commanded.

"Jang Gyeoul is pregnant."

The tires screeched, putting the car into a stop.

"What do you mean?"

"She collapsed a while ago when I told her Jeongwon left. I checked on her, and…and she's two months pregnant."

Ikjun, Songwha, and Junwan cursed their shock out. You can tell by Songwha's face that she is mad. They thought the news wouldn't get any worse, but they were wrong. A phone rang all of a sudden. It wasn't from any of them, then they saw a bag, opened it. They all sighed into frustrations realizing it was Jeongwon's phones. He left both of them.

Sorry for some errors, I just copied this straight out of my drafts. Hehehe
I promise the angst will finally stop (somehow) in the next few chapters. Hehhehehe

PS: Again, I am not very good at English and at writing but I appreciate everyone who still reads this story, leaving kudos and comments. Thank you again for reading!