Leo tossed and turned on the bed, unable to sleep. Something he thought he was done with, apparently not… The insomnia plaguing him since their last fight against The Shredder, which had left him shortly after his arrival in Japan was returning with a vengeance. For months he had known a relative peace of mind. But now…

- "Leo? What's wrong?"

He turned to look at Kaida. She was propping herself up on her elbows, her long hair loose and disheveled instead of its usual neat and well kept chignon. Her eyes puffy with sleep.

- " I'm fine, just having trouble sleeping.

- Thinking about your family?

- … How come you just always know what's on my mind?

- Great, or tormented, minds think alike » She said with a smile and yet a bit of sadness in her eyes.

- " Indeed… it's just… I'm thinking about when I'll be going back. I don't know when yet but I feel it'll be soon. I don't know how I'm going to face them. I was really a dick to them for months. When none of it was their fault yet I made them pay.

- 'Sigh' When will you stop with that?!

- What?

- Sheltering them from their responsibilities! Was it right to lash out at them in the way you have? No. But you were in your right to be upset. You shoulder all the responsibility for defeat, yet you guys share the glory of victory. It's not right, you were the only one taking the full blow of that fight and it's meaning while they got to move on so easily. It's unfair… " She stopped to catch her breath. Leo was baffled. Never had she, or anyone, spoken of it like that. And, although he felt guilty for admitting it, he agreed with her.

- You really think so?

- I think you bear the same burden as all eldest do. Responsibility, maturity, having to compromise all the time, being a second parent. I mean… over the months you told me or showed me things about yourself you never told your family. They don't know you can play various instrument, draw or sing. They probably don't even know your favorite movie or dish! All they know, all they expect, is the strong, calm, collected leader. They like it that way because like that your Father got a crutch to lean on and your brothers are free to be something else, themselves. From what you told me, either you don't feel like you can be someone else or they don't bother to know you. All of you. And then they're confused and upset when your feelings come up to the surface. Like you're not allowed to be upset and should be moving on as the same pace as them. They were unfair to you. And I don't think you will ever truly feel better until you tell them everything. "

That was almost three months ago now. That conversation with Kaida that turned his world view upside down for a night. Since then, questions went on and on in his mind. What if he wasn't the only one in the wrong? What if Kaida was right and he had been in is right to be upset? What if he was sheltering his family from their responsibilities?

He had been back for awhile now. The mutant crisis was not getting any better, that and the Foot occupied all their time when they weren't trying to catch some sleep here and there as well as training. Donatello had even manage to squeeze a trans-dimensional travel in there to help April save her uncle. From what he told them it must have been quite the adventure. Speaking of Donnie… his brother had been a bit under the weather lately. Some cold he couldn't seem to shake off. He didn't know why, but his intuition was practically yelling at him that something wasn't right yet he couldn't put a finger on it. So now he was keeping an extra eye on his brother.

Needless to say, amidst all of this there had been no time to talk about Japan. Kaida's words were still haunting him… In the back of his mind, easy to ignore when busying himself with the mess of their lives but as soon as he was alone, trying to meditate or sleep, this feeling of resentment toward his family would rear its ugly head again. They seemed to have forgiven him so easily. Perhaps it was the whole ordeal with the Foot and Karai or maybe they were just glad that he was back to his " old self ". He wasn't sure what this "old self" thing meant anymore. What it meant for him or to his family. If it meant that they could go back to how things were in the past, then he was positive he didn't want that. He wanted to be more than the calm collected leader. He wanted to be his own person! Like he was when he was in Japan. Not just with Kaida but with all the friends he made there. He wanted to have fun, be able to rely on someone else' strength and not just his own. Right now, given the crisis at hand it wasn't the time but when it was over? …There would be another crisis, and another, and another, and another… He'd be doom to this role forever…

Over in Japan - Ancient One's domain

" How do you think Leo's doing? " The one asking was a tall wolf-like humanoid. Covered in brown and copper colored fur, wearing baggy dark crimson pants with his tail sticking out. " His last texts spoke of a complicated mutant situation in the Big Apple. I don't like the sound of that.. "

- There's not much we can do about it Jake… If he needs help, I know you would be the first one to go but until he asks for it were just gonna have to stay put and hope. " A tall green apple-skinned salamander girl answered. She wore a dark brown open leather jacket, a cotton-candy pink scarf around her neck, a hair band of the same color holding back her chocolate milk curly hair. She was also sporting a belt holding two jet black kunai.

- Me, the first one to go? You so sure about that Mona? Pretty sure a certain geisha would be the first one to run to his aid » Jake said with a twinkle in his eyes.

-Shut up! It's not like they ever made it official or anything! And it's none of our business!

- Come on, they're a match made in heaven! Anyway, to get back to the matter at hand… Leo would not ask for help openly. That's just not him… So how will we know?

- I don't know… Maybe the old man will know? He just, feels stuff like that sometimes. Like how he knew Leo should go back because his family was in danger.

- Still… I'll keep an eye on the underground news and rumors around New York.

- Good idea, if something comes up, let us know quickly okay?

- Sure, don't worry. " With that the young wolf left the room, leaving Mona to her thoughts. " Leo… you'd better not get yourself killed you idiot…"

- Oh come on Leo please! This exposition will be gone soon, we'll go near the close and won't stay for too long it'll be totally safe! '' Donatello pleaded with his older brother. There was this dinosaur expo he wanted to see but convincing his oldest brother to go was proving a rather hard task. He knew Leonardo was only thinking of their safety but sometimes it would be cool if he could just… lay back and enjoy a few things in life. Instead of just being their leader, he was their brother too!

- I know I know… but you haven't been feeling well lately and there's this whole mess with Bishop to take care of and… " There it was, Donnie was giving him his beat puppy-eye look. The look he could not say no to. With Mickey it was easier since he used it much more often, the effect was lesser. But Donnie kept his for emergencies, thus VERY effective on his brothers, especially Leo.

- Okay alright we will go! Jeez you just know when to pull out the big guns don't you? But if you feel unwell you tell us and we go home got it?

- Yeah got it… Thanks Leo, I'll go tell the others. Field trip! " Donnie ran off looking very happy. Maybe a little evening off would do them all some good.

Sorry for the hiatus, I got caught up in well… life. But things are starting to quiet down, before blowing up again since I'll be going back to university.

In this chapter I mentioned the episode "Trouble with Augie" for the Donnie-April adventure. Also when writing Kaida's little rant, I was thinking a lot to the beginning of "Samurai Tourist" when Mickey talks about how Leo being the responsible one made them all happy in a selfish way because it meant that while he worried and thought about basically everything they were free not to. Always love that insight moment from Michelangelo.

Yes, Mona is Mona Lisa, inspired by the character of the 1987 series.

I hope you guys are all doing well and don't forget to wash your hands!