Boy-Snape

The sun was shining overhead now and Sirius could no longer look at the river without squinting. Not that it mattered, he'd gotten his last fill of the water just as it was starting to glint and glimmer. Sirius was also far more concerned with scanning the horizon for a village or town or something. He was growing more frustrated by the hour. How fucking far in the wilderness had they ended up? Where in the Hell had Snape taken them? He didn't know the answer to either question, nor how to even start to answer it without a wand.

He glanced behind him. Boy-Snape had begun to trail there after their first hour of walking. Grudgingly, Sirius had to acknowledge the kid was doing pretty good today. He hadn't complained once about anything. The night's rest and a nearby water source appeared to have fixed most of his issues from the day before. Even so, surely the kid had to be hungry? Absently, Sirius put a hand to his own knotting stomach. He sure as Hell was, but he'd decided to wait to go looking for anything until Snape said something. Kids had smaller stomachs and needed to eat more and more often, right? Then why in Merlin's name wasn't this kid throwing some kind of hunger-fueled strop yet?

Sirius hated the thought of being the first to break, but he didn't think he could go on like this for too much longer. He needed something to eat before he keeled over. Stopping suddenly, Sirius whirled around to face boy-Snape. Like the wary little creature he'd proven himself to be over the past day, Snape stopped himself just out of reach from him before turning a questioning gaze on Sirius.

"You hungry?" asked Sirius.

The kid wrinkled his nose. "Not for bugs."

He rolled his eyes. Sirius had been mostly joking about that. Sure, he'd read it in a book, and a reputable one at that, but he didn't think he'd ever get hungry enough for bugs. "Did I say I was going to give you bugs?" he snapped at boy-Snape.

In response, Snape flinched. "No," he whispered, eyes now on his feet.

Internally, Sirius cringed. He was fucking things up with the kid every damn step of the way, wasn't he? And here he'd resolved to do better and not make the kid give him those hurt puppy-dog eyes. He just didn't feel like Snape when he did. Sighing, Sirius ran a hand through his tangled, dirty hair. "Can you wait here?" he asked. "I'll go look for something nearby, like a berry bush. Maybe I'll get lucky and find something better…" Sirius trailed off as he considered taking on his animagus form to go hunting. He didn't know how he was going to play off any bite marks and tearing on a squirrel or rabbit he may catch, but the kid had shut up easy enough when he insisted there absolutely hadn't been a dog sleeping next to him.

Sirius didn't know how they'd cook it once he brought it back, but he thought he sort of knew how Muggles started fires. It involved rubbing sticks together until they got hot and started to spark, right? He hoped that was the case or Sirius had nothing and absolutely no way to make a dead rabbit food instead of bait for something bigger and scarier than them.

"Like spiders?" the kid asked in a derisive tone, drawing Sirius from his musings.

He scowled at the boy. "What did I say about bugs?"

"They're arakids !" argued Snape, "not bugs!"

"Arakids?" Sirius parroted, amused at the mispronunciation. "I think you mean arachnids, kid."

Boy-Snape flushed a bright red before putting on a rather fierce glower for a kid of his size. "Whatever!" he huffed.

Sirius just laughed. "Sure, whatever," he agreed. He could tease Snape when he was his right age again. Not knowing how to pronounce arachnids at eight? What a dummy! "Just stay here, okay?" he insisted. "I'll be back before you know it."

Snape kicked at a stick near his feet and said nothing.

Sirius found himself irritated with the kid once more and attempted to grab boy-Snape's good arm to force him to pay attention. However, like he'd done several times already, the kid dodged him expertly. "Come on!" he grumbled. "Would you look at me when I'm asking you to do something? If you don't get a little more cooperative and quick I'm leaving you for the werewolves!"

Like his threat had before, it brought a sudden onslaught of terror to the boy's black eyes and reminded him why he shouldn't be using it. Briefly, he wondered if Snape had always been scared of them or if part of the older him was still there and had left a lingering fear on the child's psyche. "I'll be good," boy-Snape promised. "Don't let me get eaten!"

Indulgently, Sirius smiled at him and reached over to ruffle the kid's hair (which, he allowed after an initial jolt at the touch). "As long as you listen to me, kid, I won't."

The kid relaxed and turned his gaze to their surroundings. After a moment, he pointed at a log that was half a yard away and just barely hidden by a bush. "I'll wait there for you," he promised.

Sirius dipped his chin in agreement. "Good spot," he replied. "See you in a bit." Taking off into the forest he made sure he was well out of view before shifting into the shape of Padfoot. Once he was in his animagus form, Sirius sniffed the air and followed the scent of what he knew to be a rabbit for a while. Finally, when he came upon the critter's home, he wasted no time flushing it out and then giving chase for it through the forest underbrush. When he finally caught it and sank his teeth into the rabbit's fragile neck, Sirius's mouth filled with its warm blood. It took all of his willpower to not wolf down the critter as it was. He had to share the rabbit with boy-Snape.

With great care, he picked out the path he'd taken through the forest on his hunt and followed it until he reached a clearing that was just out of Snape's view. There, he dropped their lunch on the ground and transformed back into himself. He licked his lips after and realized they still tasted like blood. Bringing his arm up to his mouth, he wiped it until the metallic flavor had all but disappeared. Swaggering over to where he left boy-Snape, he showed him the mangled rabbit. "Scared off what killed it," he told the boy. "Quite the stroke of luck, isn't it?"

Boy-Snape's gaze was suspicious, but he gave a tiny nod of his head all the same. "Uh-huh."

"Help me gather up some wood for a fire. We got to cook this thing."

Hopping to his feet, the kid did just that and a few minutes later, they had a nice little pile of kindle made up in a spot Sirius had cleared of leaves and other debris just feet from the river. For what felt like ages, he attempted to make two sticks spark. However, it only left his hands blistered and his back aching. They fucking wouldn't light! Throwing them into the river, he yelled, "I guess we will be eating Goddamn bugs!"

"I can make a fire," Snape whispered from across the pile of sticks.

Sirius blinked at the kid. Why the Hell hadn't he said anything while he was struggling for the last fifteen minutes? Was he a bloody sadist as a kid too? "Huh?" he sputtered in the end, still too shocked to be truly furious yet.

The boy nodded. Pointing a finger at the sticks, he stared at it with freakish intensity before a spark shot from his digit and lit the sticks. One by one, they started to burn red, yellow, and orange— Growing larger with each stick the kid added. Finally, boy-Snape snagged the rabbit from where it was going stiff by their knees and told Sirius, "I can cut it too." With the same finger he used to light the fire, he muttered what sounded like a spell and sliced into the rabbit's belly. By hand, he pulled out the guts and then stuck a stick in it before setting in the edge of the flames to cook.

It was all done with such deftness and power that Sirius could only shake, speechless. When some ten minutes later Snape offered him a cooked front paw, he took it between numb fingers and bit into the cooked flesh. It was a bit burnt and still kind of hairy and there was far more bone than he'd care for, but it was the best damn food he'd eaten in his entire life. Slowly, the two of them devoured the rabbit until all that remained were the larger bones they couldn't chew and swallow even if they wanted to. A time after that, while boy-Snape was rolling around the rabbit's skull, Sirius asked, "Where the fuck did you learn to do all of that?"

Black eyes looked up, guileless. "How to cook a rabbit?" he questioned. "Old man Larson from down the street. He used to tell me stories from the war and how he survived when there wasn't much of anything to eat on the frontlines." The boy's face turned dark and thoughtful. "But only when I'm weeding his flowers and he's supervising. I think he can only talk about the bad times when no one's looking at him."

Sirius floundered for words. "Um, yeah," he stammered. "But, also, the fire? And cutting open the rabbit? That's some bloody mental stuff to be doing at your age. And without a wand!"

The kid shrugged. "Mum showed me how. Dad doesn't let her use her wand around the house, so she had to get sneaky and showed me how to be too. She says it'll be good for me when I get to Hogwarts." Snape frowned. "But she also said to never let anyone see me do it or I'd be had." Boy-Snape let his hair cascade into his face. Peeking through the gaps in his stringy, greasy mess at him a moment later, the kid said, "But I thought she'd rather us have full bellies right now than me keep it a secret."

Sirius swallowed. Fuck him. If that was the kind of secrecy Snape's mother had instilled in him from when he was a little kid, what would Snape do to him when he was the right age to make sure he couldn't tell anyone?

As he remained silent and lost in his musings, boy-Snape started to fidget with anxiety. Voice pitched at an annoying whine, he asked, "Right? Mum would prefer that? She's not going to be cross with me?"

He realized then he had to answer. And to the positive or the kid might end up a crying mess from fear for the state of his future-backside (if Snape's mother was just as prone to shooting off a stinging hex at his rear as Sirius's had been when he was the boy's age, anyway). "Yeah, kid," he said. "Your mother would prefer we don't starve."

Snape settled down after his assurance and went back to rolling around the rabbit skull. As for Sirius, he turned his gaze to the dying fire and wondered if he should figure out a way to bring over water from the river to douse it or if he waited a little longer he'd be safe stamping it out with the heel of his boot. Which one was safer? Which one would take the least amount of time? Quietly, Sirius sighed to himself and buried his face in his hands.

This was an easy decision, but why did it feel so daunting to decide?

How did you like the chapter? The magic Severus is able to wield?

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