It had been several hours since Tuxedo Mask had rescued Usagi from Prince Diamond. Every time he closed his eyes the images of her being taken from him, and Diamond almost kissing her haunted him. Upon returning to the palace, King Endymion lead him, and the girls to rooms to rest. That's where he was now. Laying in a king size bed with Usagi curled up next to him, asleep. He tried to sleep, but his mind kept going over everything that had happened today, all that King Endymion said, all they saw.
He didn't know how long he had laid there, but sleep would not come. He finally gave up, and moved to a sitting position beside her. He wasn't surprised to find Luna curled up against Usagi, purring softly. What did surprise him, as he looked around the room, was to see Sailor Mars curled up on a couch in the room, sound asleep. She had been given her own room, but at some point she moved in here. He got up from the bed, and walked over to her. He gently shook her shoulder, until her violet eyes opened, and looked at him.
"Mars, go to bed." He said quietly.
"I…" Mars sputtered, but stopped.
He simply raised an eyebrow at her.
"I….I couldn't sleep so far away from her. Not being able to see her, and know she was really here kept me awake. Is it ok if I just sleep here please?" Mars said tentatively.
He didn't know why, but for all of Mars teasing, and taunting, if something happened to Sailor Moon, she clung hard to her. He had to remind himself that Sailor Moon was the first friend Mars ever had, just like the other girls. Maybe fear or losing that caused Mars to cling so hard. Tuxedo Mask nodded.
"I can't sleep. Will you stay with her?" he asked quietly.
"Of course." Mars responds as she got up from the couch.
He watched as she made her way over to the bed, laid down, and placed a hand on Sailor Moon's shoulder. He turned, and left the room. He found himself aimlessly walking the halls of the palace. Not really looking at anything, just sorting his thoughts really.
He found himself standing in the doorway of a massive bedroom. It wasn't hard to figure out who's bedroom it was as the queen, encased in a crystal, slumbered on the bed. King Endymion stood beside the queen. His hand resting against the crystal, and his head bowed. Tuxedo Mask walked up beside the king, and looked at the future version of Usako. She was beautiful. Usako was beautiful now, at almost 15, but she would grow even more beautiful as an adult.
The pair stood there for quite some time, saying nothing. The king gazing at his wife. Tuxedo Mask lost in his thoughts. One thought kept nagging at him though. One thing he couldn't work out in his mind, and he almost feared he knew the answer. Finally he spoke.
"I failed, didn't I?" Tuxedo Mask asked quietly.
"Hmmm?" King Endymion responded, not looking away from the queen.
"Your test. I failed." He stated.
King Endymion turned then, and looked him straight in the eye. "You did."
"My job is to protect her, even if it means staying away from her. I failed because I couldn't stay away." Tuxedo Mask said as he deflated.
"Wrong." King Endymion responded.
"Wrong?" Tuxedo Mask started.
"Yes wrong. The test wasn't about staying away from her." King Endymion snapped.
"Your message said if I stayed with her she was doomed."
"I did, but let me ask you something."
"Ok?"
"What is she great at?"
"Seeing the best in everyone, being supportive, loving others."
"What does she do more than you?"
"Talk."
"Exactly."
Tuxedo Mask looked at King Endymion with a look of confusion.
"She communicates." King Endymion states.
"And?" Tuxedo Mask questioned, not understanding the point here.
"One of the keys to a strong, lasting relationship is communication."
"We talk."
"Do you both or does she talk, and you listen?"
"Well I mean yes. Usako does the talking."
"And you don't?"
"No. I prefer listening to her talk."
"What does she talk about?"
"Everything really. Friends, family, events, school, all of it."
"Including how she feels?"
"Of course, but that's Usako. She's comfortable with that."
Tuxedo Mask found himself starting to get annoyed with this line of questioning. Why was Usako talking so important? She always talks. None of that had anything to do with how he failed the king's test.
"Do you ever talk about anything?" King Endymion asked.
"Sure." Tuxedo Mask answered with a sigh.
"About what?"
"School, being a doctor, books sometimes."
"Nothing else?"
"No. Why does any of this matter?"
"Because without communication a relationship goes no where."
"We do communicate."
"Apparently you don't."
"How can you say that?"
"When you started having those dreams did you even think to go to her about them? Did you think to talk them thru with her? Did you talk to anyone about them, at all? When she found out about them did you talk about them or just acknowledge them, and then pretend they never happened?"
"No."
"Why?"
"Because they were my problem. My issue to deal with."
"But they had to do with both of you."
"It is my job to protect her though."
"It is, just as it is her job to protect you. You two are a team, or you're supposed to be."
"We are a team."
"No. No you're not. Not really. Maybe in battle, but beyond that you're not."
"How can you say that?"
"Communication is key to every team, in every way. Yes you fight battles together well, but you still are not a real team."
"I guess I don't understand."
"Communication is the foundation to all relationships, and all teams. When there isn't communication the team is fractured, and does not succeed long term."
"I get that, but…."
"YOU don't communicate. YOU don't talk to her."
"I DO talk to her."
"Not when it's important. Not when it has the most impact."
"What do you mean?"
"When something is troubling you. When you are struggling emotionally or mentally, you don't talk to her. You clam up, shut down, push her away. You don't address the issues, and pretend bad things didn't happen."
"That's because they're my issues to deal with, and work thru."
"But that's not how things work in a team. In a relationship. You work together to get thru things, and to make you stronger, both together or apart."
"I've always done things on my own, and worked thru these things myself."
"But you don't need to and shouldn't do that any more."
"That's how I have always done things."
"You have someone willing, ready, and able to help you. Why won't you open up to her?"
"You don't understand."
"Don't I?"
"You didn't grow up the way I did. You didn't spend most of your childhood alone, relying on only yourself."
"You forget who you're talking to. I understand more than anyone else in the world."
"How could you possibly understand?"
Tuxedo Mask was becoming more annoyed with this conversation the longer it went on. This guy was a king. There was no way he could ever understand.
"Because I'm YOU, in the future! I know, and I understand because I am YOU years from your present time. Your life was my life." King Endymion said forcefully.
"Oh." Tuxedo Mask responded sheepishly.
He forgot that. The whole time travel thing was messing with him. Everything on his mind wasn't helping either.
"Right. You forgot that part." King Endymion said.
"Yeah. Kinda. Sorry." Tuxedo Mask said, scratching the back of his head.
"I'm going to explain the objective of my test, and give you some advice with a hard truth."
"Ok."
"What was SUPPOSED to happen, was your were SUPPOSED to talk to Usako. To tell her about the dreams so you two could work together, as a team, as a couple. To protect each other, and make your bond stronger."
"Why didn't you just say that?"
"I shouldn't have to. Communication is a natural part of a relationship. For all you knew an enemy sent those dreams to break you apart, and make you both weaker, and it did because of you. It made your bond with each other weaker, and it also made you both emotionally and mentally weaker. Had you talked to her about it, you two would have been able to work together, and built a stronger bond."
"I didn't want to worry or upset her. I wanted to protect her from something happening to her. To save her life, even if I wasn't in it."
"But you did end up upsetting her. You broke her heart, and weakened her soul."
"I know that, now."
"You did the same to yourself."
"I did, but as long as she was safe, and alive, I was willing to deal with that."
"But it weakened you both, and made her more susceptible to attacks, injury, kidnapping, or even death."
"Yeah. I can see how that could happen."
"You need to learn to open up to her. You need to learn to let her help you work thru the hard times, and pain. You need to learn to talk to her. If you don't, well you'll lose her."
"I won't lose her. Look around. This all shows we stay together."
"This, what you see, is always subject to change. The present dictates the future. This isn't a guarantee. Time is fluid, and constantly changing."
"What do you mean?"
"The actions in your timeline effect this timeline. Yes, as things are in your timeline, right now, this is the future, but it could change at any moment for any reason. I will warn you that if you continue down the path you are on now, this may not be your future."
"What do you mean?"
"Look at it this way. The bond you two share is a living, breathing thing, that needs to constantly be strengthened, and nurtured. If it isn't it weakens, and eventually dies. Just because you're together does not mean the bond will be strong, only exist, to an extent. Without opening up to each other, communicating, and working together emotionally and mentally, the bond does not get stronger. Shutting her out does not strengthen the bond between you either, it only weakens it. It will continue to weaken it, and it could eventually die completely. If that happens there may come a day where she decides she can't take being shut out any more, and leaves. She could find someone in the future that will be open with her, and will let her in. And believe me, there will be plenty out there willing to. The bond won't be the same between them as they won't be soulmates, but she'll be with someone who will give all of themselves to her, and hold nothing back. That would mean more to her than staying with a soulmate that shuts her out, and only gives insignificant parts of himself because believe me when I tell you that what you give her now is insignificant in the big picture. Is holding yourself back, and protecting yourself worth the risk? Is losing her light in your life worth it?"
"But you have all of this now."
"I do because I swallowed my pride, pushed away my fears, and opened up to the one person who would never fail me. I opened up to the one person who would be strong for me when I was weak, who would cheer me on in the celebratory moments, who supported me with every breath. She took on my sadness, and my joys. She helped me fight my demons, or helped me be strong enough to fight them on my own. She called me out on my nonsense, and helped me get past the pain of my childhood. She also showed me a new way to view life, and the world. I do the same for her. Our bond is unbreakable because of that, not because of the enemies we fought together. Not because of the times we died for or with each other. It's because we strengthened it together, and held nothing back. The point of my test was to put you on the road to doing just that, but instead you shut down, clamed up, and pushed her away. Even now that you have her back, you're still doing it. You know so much about her, just about everything a person could know, but what does she really know about you?"
"I…I."
"Exactly. You need to fix this while you still can because there may be a day when you can't. When it's too late, and you've closed her out too much. Put aside your own issues, and see what she can do for you."
"I don't want her to be brought down by my problems. I don't want to be what kills the light in her though."
"Don't you understand? You can't, and you won't. You're not seeing what she can do for you."
"What do you mean?"
"She can, and will bring light into your dark, lonely world. She will banish your ghosts, and pain with her light. You won't bring her down, she'll bring you up."
"But…"
"Look at Mars, for example. She had a lot of the same feelings of rejection, pain, and loneliness that you do. Since meeting Usako, and becoming friends with her, Mars has become a happier person, more extroverted in ways she never was. Mars laughs, and smiles more. Her pain didn't bring Usako down. Usako's light brought Mars up. She will do the same for you. You just have to open yourself up to it."
"But what if I can't."
"You can."
"How do you….oh. Right."
"I know it's hard, and it's scary, but it will be the best thing you ever did. You will know joy, and happiness you never dreamed of having. You will have someone in your corner, for life. Don't risk that by continuing to stay locked away. You need it as much as she does."
"What do you mean by that?"
"She NEEDS to know you trust her with all of you. She NEEDS to know you count on her as much as she does you. She NEEDS to know you love her as much as she loves you."
"She knows I love her."
"Does she really?"
"Well she should."
"Do you tell her you love her? Do you show her you love her?"
"I….I….maybe."
"You don't. You assume she knows, but assuming gets you no where. You have to tell her not just by saying the words either. You tell her by showing you trust her with your secrets, your pains, your joys. You tell her by showing her physically as well, and I don't just mean in the bedroom, when that day comes. You show her by showing her all of you."
Tuxedo Mask became quiet for awhile. He stared at the queen, slumbering peacefully in the crystal. He considered all King Endymion said. He considered his own actions or lack of actions at least. Was the king right? Were his actions really keeping his bond with Usako from getting stronger. The more he thought about the more he realized King Endymion probably was right.
He reached for the bond he shared with Usako only to find it thin, fine, and pretty dim. Granted they had spent several months apart, but he had figured that them being back together would strengthen it. Apparently he was wrong, and it was his fault. He needed to strengthen that bond, any way he could. Just the thought of losing her again made him sick to his stomach, and his heart race. He finally turned back to the king, and studied the man. He saw the truth in the words spoken laid bare in the kings eyes. He also saw pain, and sadness, but he expected that when the man's wife was encased in a crystal, slumbering.
"Thank you. I'll work on it." Tuxedo Mask said quietly.
King Endymion just nodded. Tuxedo Mask turned to the door to head back to the bedroom that Usagi was sleeping in. He had just reached the doorway when the king called out to him.
"One more thing before you go." King Endymion called.
"Yes?" Tuxedo Mask responded as he turned to face the man again.
"You need to stop letting Small Lady take priority over Usagi."
"What?"
"You need to stop putting Small Lady before Usagi."
"But she's just a child. Our future child."
"This is true, but Usako should always be the priority. Without your relationship Small Lady doesn't exist. You need to prioritize your relationship with Usako over Small Lady. You need to stop letting her dictate your dates with Usako. You need to stop letting Small Lady interfere with your alone time with Usako. You need to stop letting Small Lady disrespect Usako. You need to teach Small Lady what is ok and what is not. You're letting a child become more important than your relationship. Don't do it."
"But…"
"I know you feel the connection to her, and she represents the family you want in the future, but she is the FUTURE, not the present. Don't prioritize her over anyone, least of all Usako."
"I don't want to hurt her feelings."
"I understand, and while she may be hurt at first, she needs to understand her place in your life, and it is NOT before Usako."
"I understand."
"Good. Now go. You have someone who needs you right now, and that you need."
Tuxedo Mask nodded at King Endymion again then headed back to the bedroom where Usagi was sleeping. He quietly entered the room to find Mars sitting back on the couch, Luna gone, and Usagi still sound asleep. He looked to Mars, who simply nodded, and left the room, closing the door quietly behind her. Tuxedo Mask removed his top hat, mask, cape and gloves then stretched out in the bed next to Usagi. He placed a hand on her shoulder, and shook her gently. She jerked awake then turned and looked at him.
"Mamo? Are you ok?" She whispered with a look of concern.
"I…No. Not really, but I hope to be at some point." Tuxedo Mask answered honestly.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"I…uh…Yeah. I think I do."
"Ok."
Slowly she sat up, turned to face him, and crossed her legs. She smiled softly at him. As he stared into her eyes, he saw how open she was to him. Taking a deep breath he began to talk. He told her of waking up in the hospital after the accident that killed his parents, with no memory of his life before then. He talked about his life in the orphanage then moving out on his own. He told her of his life right up until that very moment. At times she cried, and others she smiled softly, but she listened just the same. By the time he was done his throat was dry, and his voice was hoarse. She gently placed her hand on his check. Staring into her eyes, he saw compassion, love, understanding, and acceptance. No pity or sadness.
"Thank you Mamo. Thank you for sharing all of this with me. I love you." She said quietly, smiling at him sweetly.
"Thank you for listening. I love you too." He said just as quietly.
She leaned forward, and kissed him softly. She pulled back, smiled at him, then snuggled down against his chest. They spent many hours just talking. Upon waking the next morning, he examined the bond to discover it is a bit stronger, and brighter. The King had been right. Talking with Usako really had strengthened them. He vowed to himself, moving forward that he would do all he could to make sure he never shut Usako out again. He didn't want to ever risk losing her, or allowing their bond to weaken. His only regret was that he hadn't opened up to Usako long before this. He had a lot to make up for. He wouldn't fail her ever again.
*King Endymion's POV*
King Endymion stood watch over his wife long into the night. He knew his former self was opening up to his love, and he was thankful for it. He suddenly felt a presence standing beside him. He turned to see Pluto standing there.
"Pluto." He said with a scratchy voice.
"Your majesty. You took a risk speaking to him tonight." Pluto said solemnly.
"I know, but I had to. He needed to know."
"I understand. Just don't do it again."
"I won't. Thank you."
Pluto only nodded then disappeared. King Endymion turned back to his wife, and watched over her for hours. He felt for their bond, and was thankful to still feel it, and took comfort in the renewed strength of it. He had felt it weakening after he sent the dreams to Mamoru, and it had not returned to full strength, until now. He knew he had done the right thing by talking to his formal self because he couldn't bare the loss of that bond along with not having his wife beside him where he could talk to her, laugh with her, hold her.
"Soon my love. Soon all will be well. I love you so much." King Endymion whispered as the hologram of himself faded so his golden crystal could recharge.
