Boy-Snape

Severus was shaken awake to the grinning face of Sirius and a forest cast in orange-ish hues from the gaps between the tree branches above. He blinked at the older boy and brought his good hand to scrub the crust from his eyes. "Sirius?" he mumbled.

The other lifted his hand that was not on Severus's shoulders to show him two fat squirrel carcasses. One was headless and the other just about. Severus frowned. He had some very strong doubts that Sirius had chased off a fox or a hawk two days in a row from their breakfast. He suspected the dog he'd seen yesterday did exist and maybe Sirius was keeping it away from them because he didn't want Severus to know about it. His mum once told him that Hogwarts had a list for pre-approved familiars and trying to bring one into the castle that wasn't on the list was a headache and a half. Perhaps Sirius had decided to forgo the process and just snuck in his dog familiar. Since they were supposedly rivals when they were the same age, Sirius must worry he was going to tell on him if he knew for sure there was a dog.

Severus couldn't imagine himself doing that. He liked dogs. There were a few on Spinner's End that always wagged their tails when he saw them and let him pet them. He'd even asked Mum for one once. She'd told him they couldn't afford it, but maybe when it came time for him to go to Hogwarts they could look into buying him a toad or rat familiar to take with him to school. Severus wasn't nearly as keen on having one of those for a pet, but he reckoned a toad at least might be useful for potions.

Really, what Severus was starting to think from all of this was that he and Sirius were more than rivals. He'd been horribly mean most of their first day together in the forest too. Maybe they hated each other. Severus could see himself going to the headmaster about a dog if the person who owned it was someone he hated. He didn't know why, but that thought left him disappointed. He'd been hoping Hogwarts would be as magical and wonderful as all his mum's stories, but if there were people who hated him and whom he hated there… How great could the school really be?

Suddenly, he was pulled from his train of thought by Sirius clearing his throat. "I've got everything set up," the older boy told him. "I just need you to come and point your little finger at our campfire and ignite it."

Severus thought of saying no, being difficult and hateful, just as his older self surely would be. Yet Sirius looked so expectant and his eyes held only pride and excitement. He was directing more positive emotions at Severus than he had the last two days. He didn't want to ruin that. Nodding, Severus pushed himself up on his feet with a little effort and followed the older boy over to the little campfire he'd built.

Crouching down, Severus pointed his finger at the sticks and pictured flames as he mouthed the spell over and over like a prayer. After a few seconds of this, a spark ignited from his fingertip and caught a stick on fire. Then, that stick lit another stick, then a third one, a fourth, fifth… Soon the campfire was a tiny, warm inferno and Severus leaned in close to soak it in.

A minute later, Sirius appeared with the two squirrels stuck on sticks and handed him one. "We can roast 'em like chicken," he suggested. "It won't be quite as good, I know, since they're still covered in fur, but we can peel off the skin and just eat what's inside after it has cooked a bit."

Severus nodded and concentrated on just turning his squirrel in the flame for a while. It was hard going, as the squirrel was fat and not prone to turning well and he couldn't use both hands. Sirius eventually looked over at him after getting the hang of rotating his own squirrel and frowned. "Having trouble, kid?"

He bit his lip. Severus didn't know if he should insist on doing it himself more or relent to what was clearly an offer of help. After a moment of thought, he held his squirrel out to Sirius and said, "It's heavy and won't rotate." He was sure the older boy would be more upset if he accidentally let the squirrel fall into the fire and wasted it over having to help him cook it.

Taking it, Sirius nodded. "These two are pretty fat, huh?" Sticking it back in the flames with his own, he slowly began turning it one-handed in a way Severus could only dream of. "And you're just a runty kid," he remarked, smirking at Severus like he wasn't insulting him.

He scowled. "Shut up!" he snapped, no longer caring whether Sirius would be cross with him or not. "I'm not small!"

Sirius frowned irritably. "Merlin, you never can take a joke, can you?"

If Sirius thought it was "funny" to call others names, Severus could easily see why his older self and Sirius hadn't got on. Severus did not think it was "funny". He could only begin to imagine what else Sirius thought was "fun" that he did not.

"Jokes are supposed to be funny," Severus told him waspishly. "Why's it funny to call me a runt?"

The older boy floundered, mouth opening and closing a few times, before he said, "Maybe it wasn't." Juggling both squirrels to one hand briefly and fiddled with a lock of his hair. He mumbled, "It's just something me and my mates do. I'll call James four-eyes, he'll call me a sissy-boy on account of my long hair."

Severus still didn't understand how either of them could laugh at being insulted, but he was starting to believe maybe Sirius hadn't been ill-intentioned in his name-calling. Still a little bothered, but less defensive than before, Severus asked, "Does that mean we're friends? If name-calling is something you do with your mates?"

He wasn't really certain if he wanted Sirius for a friend, but he couldn't say that having a mate didn't appeal to him. Back home, all he really had was Mum. All of the kids at primary school thought he was odd or dirty, because of his clothing or where he lived or because sometimes he'd have an accidental magic episode and scare them. He was always most sorry about the last; Severus felt he should be able to do something to control them, but, no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't.

Sirius looked stricken and said nothing. Severus looked at their breakfast and saw that the tails of the squirrels were catching on fire from being still in the flames for so long. He pointed at them. "Breakfast is burning," he said.

The older boy blinked. "Huh?" He then looked where Severus was pointing and yelped, "Shit!" before pulling them from the fire and blowing out their tails. He stared glumly at them a moment before reaching for another stick to poke at them a little. After a minute, he handed Severus's back to him. "I think they're done," he said. "If not, just let me know. I'll stick it back in for you."

Eagerly, Severus sank his teeth into the squirrel. He spat out the charred fur and skin and took another bite. He savored the flavor of the squirrel— Even if it was a bit too chewy for his tastes. While his belly basked in the morsel he'd given it, Severus worked on peeling away the fur and skin with his fingers. He hadn't minded biting into it once, but he didn't want to eat more of it if he could help it.

"How d'you like it?" Sirius asked.

Severus looked up from his squirrel. "S'good."

He hummed agreeably at his response. "Yeah. I've never had a squirrel and it's better than I was expecting too."

"Me neither," Severus replied between bites of his squirrel.

For a time, they worked on their breakfasts' in silences. When Severus was down to the last tidbits and trying to gnaw them off the bone, he recalled that Sirius had never answered his question.

"Sirius?"

"Hm?"

"You never said earlier, are we friends?"

Sirius looked over at him, gaze unreadable. "Yeah, Severus. We're friends— As long as that's what you want, of course."

Severus thought that last part over. He liked that Sirius had added that condition onto their friendship. He wasn't 100% sure right now if he really wanted Sirius for a friend or if he just wanted one in general. Even so, he smiled at the older boy. "I want to be," he said.

The other grinned back at Severus a moment. "Wicked, mate."

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