Chapter 5

"I can't see the point of this bowing and scraping malarkey," said Ignatius Weasley, a pugnacious red-haired boy, as the Marauders politely acknowledged Frank Longbottom in the Gryffindor common room, the girls, Peter and Remus giving a deeper obeisance than James, Sirius and Severus. Those three were socially above the Longbottoms. Ignatius went on, "We Weasleys just don't bother with it."

"Can't see a point to it myself, either," said Mandy Hubble, a half-blood with curly dark hair and a snub nose.

"I can live without it, but politeness is the prerogative of princes," said Frank. "My mother is very hot on this sort of thing at home. And it allows time for people to assess each other without making sudden and often incorrect value judgements. I think it helps to ease social situations myself."

"It sounds pretty in romantic novels," said Alice Oakby, a pretty blonde girl, blushing.

"Yuk," said Mandy.

"Please tell me you don't read Fifi La Folle," giggled Jean Mordaunt, a plain girl with startlingly green eyes.

"Puhlease!" Alice rolled her eyes. "I read books with a plot, not rubbish like that."

"My mother says she should be burned with all her works as a corrupting influence on the young," volunteered Frank.

"Yes, but your mother said my mother and all her works should be burned … fair point, actually, Frank, mate," said Sirius. Frank gave him a quick sideways look.

"My mother was astounded that you sorted into Gryffindor, Scion Black," he said.

"Yes, and I expect I shall get home in the holidays to find I've been expunged from the family tree," said Sirius, cheerfully. "I had intended to discard all the formality but Sev pointed out, it isn't the formality that makes for stunted mental growth of traditionalist families, it's clinging to stupid ideas. Some tradition is good, and as you say, gives us time to assess as we go through the formulaic greetings. And I confess, being used to it, I do feel uncomfortable with people being too familiar. I don't mean using my first name, though a lot of people are uncomfortable about that, and I wish you would do so, Frank but …"

"He means some of the Ravenclaws are encroaching and think a lot of themselves," said James, "And some of the Huffers are dreadfully loud."

"Which is not confined to Hufflepuff House," said Sirius, looking pointedly at Ignatius and Mandy.

"What's wrong with loud?" demanded Ignatius.

"It's … vulgar," said Severus, thinking of his father. "It makes you sound stupid, if you can't make a point without raising your voice."

"Well, some of us don't want to be swots," said Ignatius.

"No, apparently not," said Severus, dryly.

"It … it isn't wrong, but we just don't do it," said James. "Like whistling indoors, and talking to girls without an introduction. It is bad manners and degrading to a girl to talk to her without an introduction."

"And did that stop you talking to the Evans twins?" demanded Mandy.

"Yes it did," said Severus. "They asked for an introduction."

"And you knew them because you didn't ask for an introduction?"

"I was at school with them; we've known each other since we were small," said Severus.

"Oh!" Mandy was balked by this.

One of the Gryffindor prefects strolled over.

"The rule in Gryffindor is that nobody has to use formality, or respond to it, but that the right of anyone who does is also to be respected," he said. "Though I'd leap on anyone getting snotty about their family, because while you're at school, your House is your family."

Sirius, James and Severus exchanged looks.

"That makes sense," said James.

"That makes us all equals in house then, apart from age and respect to prefects," said Severus. "A harmonious solution; thanks, er, Prewett for clarifying that. This means that though it is comfortable to use a greeting like, 'well met' we may, in house, dispense with excess formality and only use it to depress the pretensions of the Slytherin, er, I mean of other houses."

Prewett laughed.

"That sums it up fairly well, if a little pompous."

"Pompous is Sev's middle name," said Petunia.

"Brave, Tuney, when I know the tickling curse," said Sev.

"James will protect me," said Petunia, ducking behind James.

"Oy, I am not taking on a role of knight protector; that leads to betrothals and I'm too young to die," said James.

The Marauders laughed.

"What are you reading now, Sev? You are such a nerd," said Sirius.

"Well if my nerdiness can help Remus you might be pleased about it," said Severus. It was the first Sunday of term, and the moon was full.

"Oh. Sorry." Sirius ran a hand through his hair. "It feels really weird not having him with us. Are you going to be taking class notes for him if he's still rough tomorrow?"

"Sirius, why did I invent that rune cluster to directly transfer notes defined by them from one book into another?"

"Oh, yeah. Quicker than taking copies. How's the potion research coming?"

"Other than that I'm going to need powdered moonstone? Not well. I'm looking into creating an amulet with runes of stasis carved into moonstone. I'm thinking of combining Nauthiz with Eiwaz, and I'm not sure about using Raidho in merkstave, but though it's stasis it can also be death, and I wouldn't want to kill him."

"Sev, Lily probably understands half of what you're talking about but I don't."

"It doesn't matter so long as you don't mind me talking it through to you."

"If it will help Remus I'll let you talk to me in parseltongue, if you knew it."

"Unfortunately, not," Severus' tone held regret. "The coldness of a snake might help combat his … furry little problem."

It had been a code name coined by James, and if Severus thought it a little trite, he had accepted it. James got petulant if his ideas weren't followed, and giving in on things that did not matter made channelling his sillier ideas into less destructive ends easier. And using a few gaze-repelling charms, and taking turns to be addressed as 'Remus' allayed suspicion much better than all of them disappearing to give Remus moral support outside the shrieking shack, where they were of no use anyway, or giving the game away entirely by turning into werewolves under Polyjuice Potion.

"So, what do these runes do?"

"Nauthiz is delay, restriction, resistance leading to strength, introspection and the power of the will. Eiwaz is the protection and strength rune. I want him to try wearing them next month and see if they will prevent his turning, or will at least enable him to keep his human mind. I don't know if we'll all have to activate them with blood, or if he will, or if the runes themselves with power in them will be enough. It might take a number of months to find out."

"How can you be so patient?"

"He's my best friend, along with Lily. How can I not be patient? This is his whole life."

"Yeah," said Sirius, soberly. "Sev, Mulciber and Avery have noticed that Remus isn't around; you skipped your shift to be him, and … and if this is what you're researching I can get that, but …"

"Blast. Right, we need a conference. Under the dolmen?"

OoOoOo

"I'm sorry I got carried away looking for a cure for Remus and didn't take my turn impersonating him," said Severus.

"And we girls can't," said Lily.

"We need something plausible to get them to focus on, about what makes him ill," Severus said.

"Royal Free Disease?*" suggested Lily. "It's a chronic illness that periodically makes you totally fatigued."

"Does that affect wizards? I've never heard of it," said James.

"I don't think a lot of people have even outside the wizarding world," said Lily, doubtfully.

"A chronic condition following a particularly virulent strain of spattergroit?" suggested Severus.

"That might work," said Sirius. "And it is a chronic condition following a virulent disease, so we say that first and let them make us tell them that it's spattergroit."

"And if that doesn't work, I have a brilliant idea," said Petunia. "If they are trying to find out a deep dark secret, we let them have one – that he's a girl in disguise and has the monthlies very badly."

"What's the monthlies?" asked James.

Petunia blushed.

"Well – you know! What a girl has every month."

"No, I don't know. Is it a muggle thing?"

"I doubt it, if wizards have babies in the same way," said Lily. "Oh for goodness sake, Tuney! I don't have it yet, because I'm not old enough, but mummy explained it." She proceeded to do her own explaining with clinical precision and the detachment of someone not yet suffering.

"Goodness! Who'd be a girl?" said Peter.

"That was more or less what I said to mum when she explained it," said Lily. "It's an idea, Tuney, to let people think Remus is a girl in disguise, perhaps because his parents wanted a son?"

"But how embarrassing for him!" Said Severus.

"Well, yes, but less embarrassing than having people find out his furry little problem, and maybe having them want to kill him," said Sirius, who had been sniggering rather at the idea of Remus being made out to be a girl.

"I suppose so," Severus conceded.

"Cheer up; we may hold them off by the spattergroit explanation. How many people in our year, apart from you, Sev, and maybe Lily, know what phase of the moon it is from day to day?"

"But it's vital for gathering some potion ingredients to know, and for the brewing of some too," said Severus, shocked. "It's vital information!"

"And for most of us, it's information our teachers know so they can tell us when to do what," said Sirius.

"You are such a lazy toerag," said Severus. "What do you do if you need to know the phase of the moon if a teacher isn't there to tell you?"

"Ask you or Lily of course," said Sirius.

Remus returned to school looking washed out and ill, and Severus ran through all that he had missed with him.

"Thank you," said Remus. "I am not going to be an 'O' average student, I fear."

"You will if we all help you," said Severus. "And I plan to ask my grandfather if he can help too. He might put me on the right track of which runes to use, or confirm what I'm trying to do."

"Or he might pull you out of school and complain about me," said Remus.

"If he tries, I'll mention that he has some dark artefacts in the house," said Severus. "He's like us, Remi; a scholar. He'll be so fascinated by the challenge he won't give a damn."

"Well, you know him best," Remus said.

Severus settled down in the common room after school to write a letter.

Dear Granddad,

I am trying to help a schoolfellow who has a problem of a cyclical furry nature. My friend is a scholar, and a pureblood, and I know that blood status is important to you, and I hope you will see that it is really gross that he has that hanging over him for no fault of his own and won't feel that he can ever marry.

I have thought about an amulet of moonstone with the runes Nauthiz and Eiwaz carved on it. Am I in the right direction, or am I barking up the wrong tree in moonshine?

Your affectionate grandson,

Severus Prince

Scion of House Prince.

PS is the family Pince anything to do with us, an offshoot of the family? I've been spending a lot of time in the library, and the librarian, Miss Scrivener, is fairly useless, and her assistant, a Ravenclaw prefect called Irma Pince is awful. If she had her way, books would be hoarded and never opened, and arranged by size and colour for neatness. Some Ravenclaws are just the craziest! I am glad I sorted into Gryffindor, I know you are disappointed, but the people here treat the school house like a family house, and that is why they are so informal. Some of them have wanted to learn proper etiquette, and James, Sirius and I have been teaching them.

SP.

He folded it ready for an owl, hesitated, and pulled another bit of parchment towards him.

Dear Mum,

I know we didn't part on the best of terms, but I do love you when you forget that I'm dad's son as well as yours. I don't always see eye to eye with granddad, but I find that easier than all the beatings and getting hexed. I guess you married dad as a rebellion against the stuffier formality of House Prince, huh? Well I think the old man is less crusty than you remember and if you need to escape from dad, I reckon he'd be happy to have you back.

He's forgiven my rebellion; I wished to be Hatted into House Gryffindor with my friends, I would have gone into Slytherin out of loyalty but there are some bad people in the house. They are associated to the Knights of Walpurgis, or Death Eaters, and I want to be with my friends to oppose them. There are seven of us, including the Evans girls.

I hope you are well.

Sev.

It was a difficult relationship, but she was a witch, one of his kind, and she had tried to protect him from his father's raw hatred of magic, even though she had jinxed him too at times. Why Tobias Snape had married a witch, knowing she was a witch, and then tried to stop her using magic and prevent his son from using it puzzled Severus more than a little.

He took the letters up to the owl loft, and attached the letter to his grandfather to the leg of the Barn Owl his grandfather had bought for him, and the one to his mother on the leg of a school owl. It was callous, perhaps, to mind less if a school owl was hurt by his father throwing a beer bottle at it, but he loved Gwynhwvyr, his owl, and had no desire to see her hurt.

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* This is the original name of the illness which was later variously known as Myalgic Encephalomylitis, Yuppy Flu and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome since the first documented outbreak was in the Royal Free Hospital in the late 1950s. In 1971 it had not acquired any of its later names, at least not outside of the medical profession.