Shepard's hand hovered over the doorknob. It remained suspended in air and trembling slightly. Shepard bit her lower lip unconsciously. On the other side of the heavy door was one of the things she feared the most in life: a confrontation with the admiral. She hoped that the only punishment would be her honorable discharge from the Alliance. She also prayed that her conversation with Hackett wouldn't lead to her being court-martialed.

With a deep breath, Shepard opened the door. Admiral Hackett was sitting behind the large desk in his newly rebuilt office. Floor-to-ceiling windows revealed a healing Vancouver. Large swaths of the city were still dark or in ruins, but some buildings were new or in the process of being restored. Shepard found the view encouraging. Maybe everything could be healed in time. She took a spot between the two plush chairs juxtaposed in front of Hackett's desk.

To Shepard's surprise, Admiral Hackett was not glaring at her. He appeared tense, but perhaps she wasn't in trouble. Hackett folded his arms and sighed.

"Shepard," he calmly greeted her.

"Admiral Hackett," she replied quietly. "I know why you called me in here. It's because of the media reports about Major Alenko and me. I won't deny that it happened, but I want to apologize. I hope this won't affect Kaidan's career or mine, but I understand completely if you have to do something about it."

Hackett merely stared at her blankly before clearing his throat.

"What the two of you did was reckless and completely against every single one of our fraternization regulations. We have them in place for a reason. These things… can affect your command," the admiral chastised.

Shepard felt her face grow hot. She lowered her eyes to the ground to avoid the admiral.

"That being said, you're a good soldier and a damn fine leader. I don't think there was negative effect on your ability to get the job done," he continued. "And I honestly can't say that we didn't see it coming."

Shepard's mouth hung agape, but she snapped it shut. "But how?"

"You're surprised? After you emerged from the rubble at the Citadel, after your funeral, after Alenko's injury… I could go on, but I think you get the point. I mean, it wasn't public knowledge, but I'm sure your crew and some other Alliance knew."

Shepard's face flushed even further. She remembered the Citadel.

Everything was falling down around her. "Ashes to ashes, we all fall down," the old childhood song ran through her head in those split seconds. Shepard closed her eyes as the wall and ceiling came down on her. All she could do was put her arms up over her in a defensive stance to protect her head and neck. She was certain that it was the end of the line for her.

Shepard was shocked to learn that she was alive after waking from the darkness. She was happy about it, but damn, her arm hurt like hell. She had managed to land in a crevice that allowed most of her body to remain unharmed. Shepard crawled out of the wreckage slowly, afraid to upset the balance of the rubble and have everything come crashing down. Were Garrus and Kaidan safe? She started to panic a little, but her fears were calmed once she emerged and limped toward where they had been standing earlier. Kaidan, Garrus, and Anderson were there.

Kaidan looked upset, but when he finally glanced up to see Shepard coming his way, his face froze. He must've thought she was dead. He paced toward her, ignoring whatever Anderson and Garrus were saying. They also turned their attention to her. Both appeared relieved, but Shepard was still unsure about Alenko. Her thoughts were interrupted when he made it to her. His lips locked onto hers, and he held her in a tight embrace. She yelped in pain from his jostling her arm, but he still didn't let go.

"Kaidan…," she murmured. Her head was caught in a riptide of emotions: relieved to see him alive, joyful to have him holding her, fear because others were looking on, and pain.

"Sorry," he mumbled, finally pulling himself apart from her. His face instantly darkened as he touched her wounded arm.

"Don't… it's okay. It's over," she said quietly. Garrus and Anderson looked like they were now in a deep conversation, and the two were turned away from Kaidan and Shepard. She took the opportunity to gently lean into Kaidan as the strength that had pushed her through the battle finally gave out.

The memories faded, and Shepard found Hackett staring at her curiously.

"Sorry, sir. Lost in thought for a second. So what now?"

"What now? You're still a captain. Just waiting for your ship to return. There is one thing…"

"Yes?"

"It'd be great if you could clear everything up with the press. Give an interview. Tell the world. You're something of a celebrity now. Some are not happy with the Alliance's handling of things post-war. It might soften them up to hear your tales."

"You want me out from behind my desk and doing publicity?"

"It's only temporary. We're in a tough spot right now. I'm not that happy about the idea myself, but I've been told it will help… calm some tensions."

"I don't know, sir. I'll have to give it some thought. Thank you for everything."

The two smiled at each other and shook hands. Shepard wheeled out of the room. She was grateful for the way Hackett had reacted, but she was uncertain as to whether she could go through with spilling her guts in front of the universe.

Feros. Kaidan had actually not accompanied Shepard during most of her time on the planet. She had taken Wrex and Tali with her to explore ExoGeni and Zhu's Hope, and it was only when they returned to the Normandy that he had heard about the Thorian. He hadn't seen it up close and personal, but it still appeared in his nightmares.

Feros was still a pile of rubble that was mostly uninhabited. Shepard had helped pull funding from Zhu's Hope in fear that ExoGeni would try something again. ExoGeni had withdrawn from the planet, and only a few former colonists and employees decided to say. However, when the Normandy made a stop there to refuel, Kaidan was surprised to see many people moving about the remains of the old colony. He took Liara and James with him to go check the situation out. By the time he stepped out of the ship, a woman was already out there to greet them.

"Hello there! Wow, the Normandy!," she exhaled, before hugging each of them in turn. Kaidan exchanged uneasy looks with his squadmates.

"Ma'am," Kaidan addressed her.

"Sorry. Just wanted to do that. I am so thankful for everything you guys have done. I'm Angela. I guess you could say I'm the mayor of Zhu's Hope."

"Nice to meet you. I'm Major Alenko."

"Oh, I know who you are." Angela smiled shyly.

"I'm Liara …" Liara got out before being interrupted.

"Any news?" Vega questioned, ignoring the introductions.

"News? Well, what do you already know?"Angela said, turning to him.

"Nothing at all."

"Well, then. The Reapers are dead, but you might know that. You're my heroes!"

"We actually knew about the situation with the Reapers," Kaidan sighed. "Anything more?"

"Sure. Refugees, merchants, and military have been stopping by and staying here as they head back to wherever. We get a pretty good steam of information. If you know about the Reapers, you probably now the relays and comm buoys are out. People say they might be back up within a year or two."

"That's good news," Kaidan replied as he rubbed the back of his neck. "And what about… did Commander Shepard live?"

"Commander Shepard? Oh, yeah. She's alive. I know she was in a coma for a while. The gossip I'm getting now is that she woke up, but I'm not sure yet. They say she took a hell of a beating in London."

Kaidan could see Liara's eyes swell with unshed tears as she heard the news. Kaidan's vision got blurry, and he realized that he was having the same problem.

"Lola's alive!" Vega exclaimed.

Kaidan put a hand on his forehead, calming the migraine that was coming. The good news was too much to take in at the moment. He regained his composure.

"Is there by any chance we could stay here for a week or so? The Normandy could use some supplies and fuel for the last haul home."

"Certainly, major. We'd be absolutely honored," Angela smiled warmly, leading them toward the now bustling colony.

Shepard sat in front of a mirror lined with retro light bulbs. The vintage vanity rested in a television news dressing room where Shepard had been escorted several days after her meeting with the admiral. She observed herself in the mirror. They had dressed her in a fuzzy pink sweater, and her lips were shiny with gloss.

"This is bullshit," Shepard announced.

The other occupant of the room, Colby, audibly sighed as he examined his omni-tool. "What's bullshit?"

"Everything," she replied, gesturing at the room and herself. "I don't know why I convinced myself that this was a good idea. I guess at least I know that I don't want to do this anymore."

Shepard's miniature rant was met with silence from Colby.

"Look, I'm sorry about leaving the bar. It was just a bit… jarring to hear that news report. And I didn't want you to think less of me as a soldier," she confessed.

Colby met her eyes. "It's no problem, ma'am. I still think you're the best the Alliance has ever seen."

"Why thank you, Mr. Colby," she teased, batting her eyelashes. "But seriously, it's Shepard, not 'ma'am.' And secondly, get me the hell out of here."

"Fine, Shepard. Wait, what?" Colby stopped fidgeting with his omni-tool.

"Unfortunately, I've suddenly come down with an illness. I won't be able to do my tell-all. Aww. Such a shame."

"But Hackett basically ordered you to do it! Alliance isn't going to be happy."

"Well, they're not going to have much say in the matter."

"Actually, I think they will."

"Wrong. How can they get mad at a civilian?"

Colby gave her a blank stare.

"I've had a draft of my resignation letter sitting around for a week or two. I'm no paper-pusher, and I'm not about to be some quasi-celebrity going on about lost love."

"You could get back into the field…"

"I don't think so. If so, not anytime soon. I gave it a try. I'm done now."

"Okay. If you're sure about this, Shepard… I'll go talk to the producer. But what are you going to do if you're not in the Alliance?"

"That's the funny thing," she smiled coyly. "I just got this message from the asari counselor. Apparently, the council is as ineffective as ever. Destroying the universe's number one enemy is apparently not enough to achieve world peace. So the council sent me an invite to be their latest counselor."

"What? Are you serious?"

"I'm afraid so," she said, her tone becoming grim. "I never wanted to be in politics, but I can't let things fall apart again. Just when I'm getting a break, it seems like there's always another crisis."

"You don't have to do this. You've done so much already. Why don't you just pack up your things and retire?"

Shepard shook her head. "It's not me. And if I know you at all, you should understand. You going to pack up your rifle when your contract is up with the Alliance? I didn't think so."

Shepard stared at Colby until he finally gave a little nod. "I understand. I'll go talk to the people. You should probably make a run for the exit in case someone tries to convince you to stay."

"Lieutenant Colby, you're my hero. Is there an awkward social situation that you can't save me from? This time I'll take you out for coffee."

A week had passed by in Zhu's Hope. Kaidan had suffered from a painful migraine for days. Dr. Michel had given him the maximum dosage of painkillers, but it had still taken a while for him to regain the ability to think clearly. He had spent most of his time on the planet curled in a ball in a small guestroom at Angela's house.

Shepard was alive… she was in a coma, but people had said that she had woken up. Everything was going to be fine. No longer did he have a heavy heart and a gnawing desire to rush to Earth. Sure, he still wanted to be by her side as soon as possible, but he felt some contentment at hearing her fate. He was glad the crew had been wrong about her. You could never underestimate Shepard.

He knew he should focus on thinking about the journey back, but he couldn't help letting his thoughts drift. He thought about his future with Shepard. Now that everything was finally over, they could think about being together. Kaidan was certain that she didn't want to retire, so maybe they could both could quit the Alliance and just be Spectres. Or he could quit, and she could remain in the Alliance. She deserved to be an admiral for everything she'd done.

It was their last night on the planet. Angela was hosting a dinner for the Normandy crew and the leaders of the colony. The crew's mood had lifted dramatically since their arrival on Feros. Everyone passed around food, and it was loud with boisterous jokes and stories. Liara sat next to Kaidan, and she had a small smile on her face as she ate.

"Thank the goddess that Shepard is alive. I can't wait to see her," she said between bites of food.

"Me, too. We can't think about that though. Still have to keep our attention on getting the Normandy back safe and sound," Kaidan replied.

"Yes, I know. I just wanted to..."

Liara's words slowly came to a halt as a man walked into the hall of Angela's house. He glanced around before approaching Angela and whispering something in her ear. No one took note of it except for Liara and Kaidan. Angela's face grew troubled as she listened to whatever he was saying.

"What do you think that's about?" Liara asked.

"I don't know, but I'm about to find out," he said as he sat up from his chair.

Kaidan made his way to Angela just as the man backed away from her and quickly exited the house. Angela turned away and moved toward the table, but Kaidan reached out for her shoulder.

"What's up?"

"Nothing. We just got some new messages from a drone."

"Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, it's fine," Angela said with obviously false cheer.

"Really?"

"It was… there's no point in hiding it from everyone, I suppose. You'll find out when you get there. We received confirmation that Shepard is alive and awake. There was a big ceremony for her. She got an award and is a captain now. But they're saying that's she paralyzed," Angela murmured, shaking her head sadly.

Thanks to everyone who has reviewed, favorited, and followed since the last time I posted a chapter. I apologize for the long delay in getting this chapter out.