CHAPTER 5 - Fixed but Not Safe
Bucky woke strapped to the Chair. He flipped, ignoring the fact that there didn't seem to be any technicians or guards. After a moment, Bucky's mind finally clicked that something was odd. Carefully, he calmed himself down as much as possible. The room shook. What was going on? Bucky struggled a bit more, desperate to get out.
"Buck!" Sam's voice called as the door opened. Bucky looked up and saw the man. Relief flooded through him.
"Sam! Jesus," Bucky muttered. Sam quickly headed over and began undoing the restraints. "Did you find Clint?"
"Wanda's handling him," Sam reported. Bucky frowned. "What, you seriously think I'd storm this place alone? Got Scott, Hope, Wanda, Rhodey and T'Challa with me."
"Okay," Bucky replied as Sam finished and he got to his feet. Sam paused. "Got any dynamite?"
"Sorry," Sam whispered. Bucky huffed before moving forward and ripped a few things from the chair apart. It wasn't enough but it'd do. "Ok, let's get going."
"Clint... He was in the chair," Bucky mentioned as he followed after Sam. Thankfully he didn't have to worry about trailing behind as the tranq was rapidly wearing off.
"Wanda will deal with it," Sam repeated as he rushed down the hall. Bucky quickly trailed after.
"Did you find Rumlow? He was behind this," Bucky asked. Sam frowned, glancing back at him for a moment.
"Didn't Rumlow-"
"Apparently a LMD," Bucky growled.
"What the hell is a LMD?" Scott's voice echoed into the room before the man suddenly appeared before Bucky. If the man hadn't spoken Bucky likely would have punched him at the sudden sight. Something that Bucky, Natasha and Clint had done at least once in the past.
"Life Model Decoy," Hope added as she popped up behind Bucky and Sam making the latter jump in surprise.
"Can we just get outta here before we deal with all that shit?" Sam questioned even though none of them had stopped moving. It wasn't much longer before they burst out of the facility. Bucky glanced backwards quickly and noted that the facility was indeed built into a cave system in some sort of mountain terrain. Above them Bucky heard the whining of a metal suit. He glanced up to see War Machine flying past. Wanda was waiting by a jet that Bucky noted was Wakandan tech, Clint hardly standing behind her, watching. He almost looked like he was tactically planning on escaping but the archer didn't know where to go or how he knew how to plan an escape.
"Come on," Wanda encouraged. Without pausing the whole group loaded, Bucky grabbing Clint's hand when the archer didn't move to follow them. At this point, he was likely the only one strong enough or even trained well enough to handle Clint trying to escape or fight them. Not that it mattered. For some reason, Clint willingly followed him. The back hatch closed just as Rhodes landed inside. Moments after, the helmet opened and he looked around at everyone.
"We all good?" the Air-force man asked as the jet took off. Bucky focused on bringing Clint to one of the chairs. The archer was rather demure about the whole situation. Could he already be remembering? Of anyone, Rhodes might be the first one he'd recognize. Clint's eyes flicked up to look at Bucky. The archer's gaze roamed his face before going to his metal arm before widening slightly and then snapping back to Bucky's face. Fucking hell, how long had Clint known about the Winter Soldier?
"Wanda, can you come help?" Bucky called knowing that there was no way they could wait. Clint needed at least some help in returning memories. Just getting him as far as Rhodes. If they didn't, Clint would start trying to escape their custody and he would get himself in danger. Wanda moved over to see what the Sergeant wanted. "They wiped him but the memories are still there."
"I'll see what I can do," she replied before coming toward Clint. The archer's eyes flicked over to her but he didn't seem as distrustful of her as he now was of Bucky. She placed her hands on either side of Clint's head and they both watched as he winced. Wanda gave him a soft smile. "It's okay. I won't hurt you."
Clint looked skeptical but didn't attack her so Bucky and her took it as a good sign. Slowly, she began 'working.' With the red flowing from her hands and heading into Clint's head, Bucky watched as the archer closed his eyes. He could only hope that he'd be okay. What he couldn't see was Wanda's struggle as she battled against Clint's magic wanting to drain her own. Making that Clint's first returned memory was important and so the draining didn't last long. Bucky nodded, feeling things were alright now, and stood up looking everyone over. They were all watching them. Some (aka: Sam, Rhodes, and Scott) looked highly concerned and upset.
"Thank you all for coming to help," he told them. Sam glanced to everyone else. They had all quickly been willing to come help.
"Hey, it was no problem. No much going on on our end anyway," Scott said. Hope elbowed him in the gut. Not the best thing to say right now.
"Figured Hydra would try and get you back to Winter Soldier mode. Didn't wanna risk us unable to bring you back," Rhodes informed. Bucky frowned. Was Clint right? Had they all forgotten about him? Did they even care? "Didn't expect Barton to be there as well."
"No one informed you of Clint's super serum?" Sam wondered nearly feeling the same way. The whole group stared. Bucky frowned, looking them over. How did they not know? "What?"
"You telling me Clint's a super soldier?" Scott cried. Sam looked to everyone and then back to Bucky.
"We didn't tell any of them?" Sam questioned. Bucky shrugged.
"So that's why they took both of you," Rhodes guessed. Bucky nodded. "And the wiping him?"
"Was to create a second Asset," Bucky explained. The jet went into an uproar.
"Whoa! Whoa, guys, chill!" Sam shouted over the group. "Look, we got them back, things should settle now."
"Not if what you say was true. If Hydra can track Hawkeye's serum, he will always be at risk of getting caught," T'Challa pointed out, turning around now that they were out of the 'danger zone.' Sam and Bucky winced as yet again the jet filled with voices talking over each other. Bucky sighed and turned to look at Wanda and Clint. Wanda hadn't said anything during the whole thing and he couldn't remember if she had been there or not. After a moment, her power dissipated and she pulled back. Right away, Clint sagged sideways. Bucky quickly moved to sit beside the archer and hold him up. That didn't seem right.
"He'll be fine. The damage done by the chair is not as extensive as yours, so I was able to restore nearly all of them. He may be missing a few minor memories but he will regain them in time," Wanda stated before Bucky could even ask. Bucky sighed in relief. He'd hate himself if Clint lost anything or was seriously hurt. If Sam and he had never used him to get to Hydra... Clint might have been safe. They should have watched from afar and help when Hydra closed in. Wanda nodded to the soldier with a deep sigh. "Honestly, right now he needs rest. Lots of it. But I have to warn you. If this happens again, I don't know if I'll be able to bring him back."
"What do you mean?" Hope questioned. Bucky looked up. He hadn't realized everyone was looking at the duo. Wanda sighed.
"Clint's body and mind have already gone through so much. Between his past, S.H.I.E.L.D, the Avengers, the stones... While on the outside he seems fine... There won't be much we can do for him if something like this happens again," Wanda replied, stuttering a bit in her explanation. Bucky frowned. There was something she wasn't fully saying. She gaze flicked over to him and Bucky knew that whatever it was had to be discussed in private. "We can't let him get wiped again."
"Then we must block the ability for Hydra to find him based on his serum," T'Challa summarized. Wanda shook her head. It wasn't that simple.
"Clint likely won't be able to handle the needed adjustments to his serum either. His body will crash," Wanda continued. Everyone cringed.
"So, there's nothing we can do?" Rhodes asked. Wanda sighed.
"I don't see anything other than destroying all of Hydra."
Clint's mind was racing as thoughts and memories slotted back into place. It hurt thinking about it all and trying to pay attention but as he came upon the latest memories of when he was wiped, he knew. Nothing in the world would ever compare to that pain. His respect for Bucky seriously increased even higher than it had before, and that was pretty high. Thinking everything over, Clint remembered Bucky asking Wanda for help on restoring his mind. So, he'd have to thank both of them. But for now, he should wake up and figure out where he was. With a grunt, he opened his eyes and then closed them at the bright light.
"Barton?" Bucky's voice called. Clint grunted again, twisting away from the light and following the voice. Slower than before, Clint opened his eyes to see Bucky sitting in a chair beside the bed. Large dark bags were settled over his eyes and he looked like he hadn't eaten or showered in nearly a week. That didn't seem right.
"Wha... What happened?" Clint wheezed out. Bucky reached over to grab something on the end table. As he lifted it, Clint realized it was a glass of ice chips. He sighed in relief as Bucky started feeding them to him one by one.
"We escaped from Hydra," Bucky informed as if it wasn't obvious. Clint nodded, not willing to tick Bucky off by rolling his eyes. Bucky must have noticed something cause he smirked quickly before sighing. "Wanda... She helped restore your memories."
"Yeah. Gonna have to thank her," the archer grunted, his voice slightly clearer. Bucky gave him a weak smile and Clint knew something was seriously wrong. He shifted a bit to stare at him better. Did something happen? Was someone hurt? Did Hydra get the commands back in Bucky's head? Where there commands in his own? "Buck, what happened?"
"Wanda. While she was helping you, she noticed something. Your body and mind can't handle much more abuse than what it has already gone through," Bucky explained. Clint frowned. That didn't sound so bad. In fact, Loki might have made mention to it a while back. After coming back from WWII, the trickster had said he should worry about large changes to himself. Something like coming in contact with another stone, or the same thing with Ego. The super soldier serum had extended his ability to handle it but it won't last underneath too much pressure. Apparently pressure like getting his memory wiped. But, did that really matter?
"So?"
"We can't get rid of whatever is in your serum that allows them to track you," Bucky continued. Clint closed his eyes, unsure how to respond to that. He guessed that mattered. Bucky waited, watching the archer for signs of distress. When nothing seemed to happen, the soldier sighed deeply. "Shuri is trying to look for an external way to block whatever is happening but we hardly can figure out what they can track. Never mind actually counteracting it. Our serums are just too different for them to really see anything."
"Does that mean Hydra knows where I am, right now?" Clint asked, opening his eyes again to look around. While he hadn't spent long in Wakanda it was easy to tell that that was where he was. His mind also briefly supplied that T'Challa was among those who helped break Bucky out from Hydra's control.
"Likely. But T'Challa and the people of Wakanda are more than willing to host you here until you can stay hidden from Hydra," Bucky stated. Clint frowned. That wasn't fair to any of them. Especially if Bucky was going to stay here as well. Clint should just go back to how it was before. He'd pay a bit more attention. Start changing up his patterns. Maybe actually leave New York.
"I can't-" he started.
"You have to," Bucky interrupted his voice a bit sharper than he meant. Clint furrowed his brow. Was there something else he was missing? "Look. If Hydra gets a hold of you again and wipes you... Even though it previously took four attempts before... Wanda thinks just one attempt will break you to the point of no return."
"So, I'd just be a shell?" Clint guessed. Bucky nodded. "That... That sucks."
"Kinda how most of us felt," Bucky huffed. Clint smirked but it didn't feel right to Bucky. It was lacking something. But he couldn't fully place what it was.
"So, I'm trapped... Here in Wakanda?" Clint wondered. Bucky tensed.
"It's not like that!" he tried to argue. Clint huffed and shook his head.
"Honestly, Buck. What did you expect? Wakanda's shield is the only reason I'm safe from Hydra. They can't get in here. So, I'm stuck here. Even if it's for protection, I'm still trapped," Clint pointed out, turning to stare at the soldier. Bucky winced, knowing all too well the feeling of not knowing where to turn to. Clint gave a soft snort. Of course Bucky would understand. "Ya know. I never understood why you wanted to be frozen again. Now, I totally get it."
"Barton," Bucky began but Clint shook his head. Clint couldn't get frozen.
"I said I get it. I figure Wanda doesn't think I'd survive cryo. That's fine," the archer grumbled, turning to look out the window. He wasn't even ready to admit that Loki had eluded to the same thing. Even with the super soldier serum, he was the weakest link. Bucky's face turned pained. "But... If Shuri can't fix this. I'm going to put myself in cryo and never wake up again."
"You can't be serious!" Bucky incredulously cried. When he had wanted to do it, he at least knew he'd be able to come back out. But Clint would willingly go to his death. Clint nodded. Stunned, Bucky shifted to sit on the bed so he could see Clint better. "Barton."
"No," Clint snapped, turning to look back at Bucky. The Sergeant reared back at the anger being shown to him. But it wasn't just anger. It was pain. Clint calmed a bit, looking away again. "I'm done. I can't do this."
"But-"
"I tried to retire. I tried. What did I manage? A fucking week? God... Then... The fucking SNAP. I... I killed so many. I lost Nat. Tony. Steve. Loki..." Clint listed, hesitating on the last name. That had hurt real bad. Loki had just gone to visit New Asgard and then Val said Thanos killed him. Killed him to get the Tesseract. "When will I finally be able to just stop?"
"You don't need cryo for that," Bucky tried. Clint shook his head. Bucky didn't need that either. But Bucky would have come out. If Clint became frozen, there would be no turning back. It was a death sentence. Bucky couldn't allow that to happen.
"Yeah. Yeah I do," the archer retorted, slowly looking up to the ceiling as if dreaming. Bucky winced. This was not going well. "Won't have to worry about Hydra. About finding a meaning to survive. I lost so much... Too much."
"You don't think I haven't?" Bucky snarled, finally unable to help himself. Knowing from previous experience, Clint didn't do well with platitudes, but if you argued with him. Yelled at him. You were more likely to get the reaction you want. Clint winced, looking to the soldier. "I was with you in Azzano too. I fell from the train too. I WAS WIPED AS WELL!"
"I'M NOT YOU!" Clint roared back before his gaze snapped back outside. Bucky stilled. Okay. Not what he expected to get thrown back in his face. He expected a fight but nothing like that. But, admittedly it was true. Clint wasn't Bucky. Clint was supposed to be better than Bucky. "I... No... I won't do it."
"Won't do what?"
"Live." Bucky closed his eyes in fear and pain. This was all so much worse than he expected. Everyone knew that Clint was suffering. Suffering for being one of the last ones left of the original team. Suffering from survivor's guilt. But they gave him time. They let him wallow. Let him stew it out, thinking it would help. Apparently it didn't. At all.
"Barton, please."
"No one cared Buck," Clint sighed. Bucky looked to the bed, guilt flooding him. He knew he should have gone to Clint sooner. Shouldn't have left the archer alone. Especially not for as long as he did. Sam had argued that Clint would come back to them when the archer was ready. Bucky should have known that wouldn't work with the archer. Clint wasn't them. Being alone was the worst thing they all could have done. "I vanished and no one cared."
"We do care," Bucky whispered, his face slowly tilting to look at the archer. Clint scoffed, shaking his head.
"When? When you learned Hydra was after me? Or how bout when you watched me lose my entire life?" Clint hissed, his eyes focused on the soldier. Bucky frowned. It had been Clint's idea to play along. Bucky had done the best he could. They were outnumbered and had no idea if the others were even close to finding them. "I should have died a million times over. I shouldn't be here anymore. Nat... Nat should be here. Or Tony. Or Steve!"
"Clint," Bucky tried but Clint just shook his head.
"You know what. I hope Shuri can't find a way to fix this. That way I can have a better argument for going into cryo. Then... Then I'll never have to worry about anything again," the archer muttered, tears beginning to fall. Bucky let out his own sob of surprise and fear. How could he fix this?
"You can't." Clint rolled his eyes.
"Yeah, I can."
"Are you serious?" Sam hissed. Bucky nodded as he tried to hold back his own sadness over the news. He almost wanted to hug himself to try and feel safe once again. But it wouldn't work. The only thing that could would help Clint feel better. Feel loved. "He can't honestly think that?"
"Barton's always been known to have confidence issues," Rhodes mentioned. The others turned to look at the ground in guilt. They should have known this. "I just didn't think it'd get this bad."
"Natasha was always the one who pulled him out of his ass," Wanda whispered, her memories of trying to unlock Clint's coming to the forefront. She should have known Clint would likely react this way. It was highly doubtful that any of them had enough of a relationship with Clint to fix this. "With her gone... We may lose him for good."
"That is not cool. We just totally saved him!" Scott called. Hope placed a hand on Scott's shoulder.
"In his eyes, we'd be saving the world from having another super soldier asset controlled by Hydra. Or that we had been there to save Bucky and just noticed him as a secondary less important piece," Hope informed. "He doesn't think any of us are close to him."
"We're not," Wanda softly said. Everyone looked to her as she sighed deeply. "I've been in his memories. He's been abandoned so much in his life. His friends dying, sacrificing themselves. Just... If we had just stayed with him after Tony's funeral, he likely wouldn't be this bad. He thought we all just brushed him off. Forgot him and went on with our lives."
"So, giving him space was really not the answer," Rhodes mumbled, turning to look toward Clint's room. They had left the archer alone once again based on Clint's own demand.
"For anyone else it would have likely been the best choice. If I had known his abandonment issues were so large, I wouldn't have done it. I would have watched over him," Sam informed with a shake of his head. Why hadn't he known this about the archer? He had spent enough time with Clint. How had he not seen it?
"He seemed so unaffected before. Until Natasha died," Scott sighed out. "I thought it was just normal sadness. Then... Then when we all came back. I didn't think about his loss of Tony."
"And Steve," Sam added.
"Loki," Bucky continued. Rhodes frowned. Last he had heard, Clint wasn't okay with Loki still. Yeah, there was talk that Loki had gone to the farm but... He didn't think Clint was close enough to actually miss the trickster. "The two of them had gotten real close. They'd had been trapped in Loki's memories while everyone tried to figure out how to bring him back. Then together they went to space. There was tons of time that they only had each other to rely on. That changed opinions of a guy. Speaking from experience."
"I knew he became friends with Loki... I hadn't actually thought about it going that deeply. I had assumed their first meeting would still have... Have limited his feelings toward Loki," Wanda grunted, thinking things over. Scott and Hope traded looks. They hadn't really seen Loki before. And certainly not watched Clint and the Lie-Smith interact with each other. Sam sighed. They really fucked up.
"How can we fix this?" Rhodes wondered.
"I don't think we can," Bucky mumbled.
Clint slipped out of the room. Maybe if he just left, it'd be fine. No one would have to know. No one would even care. He was tempted to sneak around, trying not to be seen but there was no point. The Dora Milaje would notice and cause a big issue over it. So, Clint just wandered down the hall as if he belonged there. Hopefully they would know T'Challa was planning on giving him shelter. Would really suck if they found him and sent him back.
"I do not believe your friends would appreciate you leaving," a voice called from the shadows. Clint tensed before looking over. T'Challa stepped forward allowing Clint to sigh in relief. He had feared it was Bucky. Or someone who meant him harm. Seeing it was T'Challa, Clint knew he was fine. Rather than respond to the king, the archer turned and continued on. To his surprise, T'Challa followed. "You have given my sister an interesting challenge."
"You can tell her to forget it," Clint grumbled. "Gonna go in cryo."
"I do not believe you can survive the unfreezing process," T'Challa warned. Clint huffed, a faux smile forming on his face. To be honest with himself. Clint wasn't really sure he wanted to go into cryo. He told Bucky he wanted too but the longer he thought about it, the more uncertain he had become. Natasha... Phil... Tony... They'd never forgive him for giving up. But... They weren't him. They didn't know.
"Kinda counting on it," the archer stated. T'Challa frowned and positioned himself to stop Clint from moving. The king was worried. This wasn't the man he expected. Sam had told all of them that it was Bucky and Clint who had been taken. T'Challa had expected the archer to thank them, laugh with them, and to focus on hiding himself from Hydra. Not just roll over.
"What happened to the warrior who tried to happily introduce himself to me whilst in the middle of battle?" T'Challa demanded. Clint rolled his eyes.
"He vanished a long, long time ago," the archer huffed, shifting to move past the king. But T'Challa moved to block him. Clint's eyes narrowed. He thought Bucky said this wasn't a prison. Cause he was starting to seem like it now. "Move."
"I think not," T'Challa replied, standing firm. Clint shifted to get ready for battle. T'Challa followed his lead.
"What will the Dora Milaje think when they find me attacking their king?" Clint wondered, his voice honestly curious. Would they come after him and kill him before he could lay a hand on T'Challa? Would he get thrown into a deeper jail cell than he was already trapped in? Hell, would T'Challa revoke his protection?
"They understand I can handle myself in combat," T'Challa retorted. With a huff, Clint relaxed his stance and turned to look out the hall window to stare out over Wakanda. He should have known better. Without a weapon on hand, Clint doubted (super soldier serum or not) he'd have a good chance at beating T'Challa.
"I'm a danger to everyone here. You know this," the archer whispered. T'Challa relaxed as well.
"As was Sergeant Barnes. And yet I gave him amnesty as well," T'Challa pointed out. Clint snorted and shook his head. The king had done that as an apology for what he had made Bucky go through. Not anything else. Not like what Clint needed. They should be happy to get rid of him.
"Not the same thing."
"Isn't it? Sergeant Barnes was being hunted down by not only the group called Hydra but also the world's military. His best friend could hardly keep him safe. And yet while here, he was not bothered until he decided to leave. Hydra will never be able to come here," T'Challa mentioned. Clint huffed.
"You would allow such a danger as me, the one Hydra can track, into the heart of your city with the hope that Hydra will never figure out how to get in here?" Clint asked, turning to look at T'Challa curiously. T'Challa nodded.
"I would have done the same for Sergeant Barnes." Clint scoffed.
"Doubt that," he mumbled softly enough that T'Challa didn't hear.
Been a bit of a rough week for me...
Darius has been doing well. Getting overly tired a lot and extremely cranky but I can't complain as the same thing has been happening to me. Hubby's job reopened on Wednesday. Not that one could really tell as no one visited... Then again, considering he works in a mall that is on it's last leg, not many people visited to begin with. But, now it's gonna make it difficult for me to write one again. Really doesn't help that my mind has been blanking on nearly every story I have. Finished one recently and debating when I want to post it. I don't know... I'll think on it.