Boy-Snape

As lunchtime drew near, Severus grew more and more anxious. He knew he couldn't stay eight, nor did he want to. He wanted back the years of memories he should have of Mum. Memories of everything else he didn't recall, like being friends with that Lily girl, and going to Hogwarts. He even wanted back his memories of being rivals and enemies with Sirius and his mates. Yet his thoughts kept cycling back to the conversation Sirius, Joan, and Lily had had yesterday about how much he might actually remember from being eight.

Joan worried he wouldn't recall anything at all, which Severus now worried would be the case too. He knew to trade a few days of memories for almost eight years worth was probably a very good trade all things considered, but he still hated it. Severus loathed not knowing things. Nearly as much as he did alcohol, which quickened his father's rages, loosened his tongue and untied his hand.

Severus kicked his feet and idly turned a page in the anatomy textbook he had been reading as he pondered a way to combat the potential loss of his memories. Lily had speculated he might recall the last couple days as if he'd actually been eight, which was better, though, not ideal. If his memories of eight at sixteen were anything like his memories of four were now, Severus would only recall a few snippets among long expanses of grayness and nothing.

What if one of the parts he forgot was the fun he had going to Diagon Alley? Or that Joan was now his friend? What if all he recalled of Sirius was their first day together when he was so mean Severus really feared he might leave him for werewolves instead of how he'd saved him from werewolves?

He hoped he remembered everything as if had just happened a couple of days ago, like it actually had. Like Sirius had initially thought he would, like Sirius probably still thought he would. Yet Severus knew he could not place all his hopes on Sirius's theory. He could turn out to be wrong. Like he had been about other things, such as Madam Pomfrey being able to call his mother to come to see him here at Hogwarts.

Severus sighed internally and turned his attention to Madam Pomfrey, who sat on the other side of her desk, working on a report about him or maybe Joan. She'd each given them potions today, him a nutrition potion, and Joan a quarter of a calming potion to take the edge off her nerves so she could eat her breakfast. As Severus watched her scribble away, an idea came to mind.

"Madam Pomfrey?" he asked.

She looked up. "Yes?"

"May I have a couple of sheets of parchment, please?"

The matron eyed him a moment, but gathered together a couple of sheets all the same and handed them to him. Then, as if knowing what he would ask next, gave him one of her self-inking quills. "What are you going to write?" she questioned in a curious and cheery tone.

Severus closed the anatomy textbook and set the parchment down on it. "Everything," he answered.

"Everything?" she repeated with an amused little chortle at the end.

He frowned, annoyed at the patronizing sound, but otherwise did not react. "Yes," he replied. "I want sixteen-year-old me to have my side of everything we will remember."

Propping her arms on top of her desk, Madam Pomfrey placed one hand over the other and then her chin over that hand. "Do you not trust how your sixteen-year-old self will view your memories of this time?" asked the matron.

Severus pursed his lips. In a way, Severus didn't trust his older-self would look at the memories right. He, Severus was nearly certain, had an awful opinion of Sirius. He would no doubt look at their memories colored by that opinion. Sirius had also been right when he said Severus was stubborn. He didn't always listen very well to others and would probably not give others, like Joan's, or Sirius's words on the last few days a lot of weight when making sense of any missing or fuzzy parts.

Severus wasn't someone else, though. He was the sixteen-year-old. Severus would surely take into consideration what he had to say, even if he tried to disagree initially. "Lily said yesterday my memories might be fuzzy," he explained to the witch. "We're not always best at listening to others, but he won't think of me as someone else and will listen to what I write about everything."

Or at least that was what Severus hoped would happen. He could end up being entirely wrong. He just didn't know enough about his older self and how he'd look at the words he wrote now. There was the possibility he'd see them as a stranger's opinion and ignore his letter entirely.

Madam Pomfrey didn't look so entertained any longer and instead, appeared rather somber. "I think that is very clever of you," she said.

Severus shrugged off the compliment and began to write. There was so much he needed to say and so little time to put it all down on parchment for his sixteen-year-old self to read.

-O-

Severus stood completely still in clothing that was far too large for him, but the perfect size for the sixteen-year-old he would be in just a minute's time. His hand pressed over the robe pocket that held his letter to himself in addition to his chocolate frog cards, Severus turned big, imploring eyes on the headmaster and asked him, "Will this hurt?"

The old man's eyes were kind as he smiled down at Severus. "No, not even for a moment," he promised.

He nodded and breathed in and out to calm himself down. "Okay," said Severus. "Please cast the spell."

Professor Dumbledore waved his wand at Severus, chanting the reversal for the curse Severus was currently under. A moment later, his vision was blinded by the reddish tinged white light of the reversal spell that was heading straight for him. When it hit Severus, he felt his bones, muscles, and skin begin to tingle until they almost felt as if they'd turned to pins and needles like his limbs sometimes were wont to after he'd slept oddly on them. Then, it grew even more intense, and suddenly even his mind turned to static.

Finally, Severus Snape, age eight, knew no more.

(While Severus Snape age sixteen knew all).

Severus is now the right age! Your thoughts?

Thank you very much for reading everybody :)