Kaidan wasn't sure exactly when Shepard had woken up. One minute, he was watching the news, and the next, he saw Shepard's eyes were open. He shot up and called for the nurse. He held Shepard's hand, and her eyes flickered to his face. He felt her lightly squeeze his hand. It was almost imperceptible, but it was there.

The doctor removed the tube down Shepard's throat, and the nurses propped her up, but she was too weak to move much. Shepard couldn't speak, either. She could barely use a datapad, her fingers skimming the surface before falling still.

Strength could be built back up, and Shepard recognized him. He saw it in the way she regarded him, following his movements. It was hard to tell what she was thinking, however, without her speaking and being mostly unable to write. So he settled for reading her expressions.

After the medical team departed, Kaidan resumed his position at her bedside. "Hi, Shepard," he laughed spontaneously, his relief manifesting itself as laughter. Shepard blinked at him and attempted to use her voice, but no such luck.

"Don't do that to me again, okay?" Were his eyes getting watery? He exhaled. "I want you to know that they have the person who did this to you. You're in the hospital here in Vancouver. Everyone else is safe."

Did Shepard want him there? It had been a long time since his last shower, and he could breathe easier now that she had regained consciousness. "Maybe I should give you some time to rest?"

Kaidan went to get up, but Shepard reached out and touched his arm. "I'll stay."

Back in the chair perched at Shepard's bedside, he felt a wave of exhaustion hit. The limited hours of sleep had caught up to him. Kaidan rubbed his face. If he didn't get some shuteye soon, he was going to have a killer migraine.

Kaidan noticed Shepard hadn't pulled her hand away from where it rested on his forearm. Figuring she wouldn't mind, he slumped over on her bed, laying his head down in an unoccupied space. He found his mind drifting, Shepard's fingers ghosting across his skin. "I love you, Shepard," Kaidan whispered shortly before descending into sleep.

There was a seemingly neverending rotation of friends visiting Shepard in the hospital as she recovered. Her voice, initially raspy, returned to normal, and her wound was healing nicely. She did have some physical therapy and speech therapy though, as the neurotoxins had affected her to a degree. Words could sometimes be lost mid-sentence, or mispronounced, and she could struggle with tasks requiring fine motor skills. But she was very much alive again, and Shepard could not complain.

Liara had brought her a needlepoint canvas and thread. The two would sit by side on the hospital bed, Liara occasionally reaching out to help Shepard when she would get frustrated. Her physical therapist had recommended the activity, but it could feel harder than sniping an enemy from hundreds of yards away. Shepard would tighten her clumsy hands into fists, but Liara patiently guided her through with calming words and tales of the outside world. Shepard wasn't surprised to notice Liara's needlepoint was an original, an embroidered example of Prothean architecture in perfect stitches. Thessia awaited, along with her Shadow Broker work and her planned books on the was time for her to travel a path without Shepard, to further define herself.

Miranda would check to make sure she was healing nicely and criticize the doctors on staff. She departed quickly once she was satisfied by Shepard's progress. Miranda's medical research was keeping her occupied these days.

James and Jack visited together, and despite Shepard's pleading, they would not bring her any alcohol or caffeine, per the doctor's orders. They did, however, bring her doughnuts, the next best thing. James's mouth hung open as he witnessed Shepard devour half the box. He was sticking to a strict diet. N7 training was calling. Shepard allowed Jack to have a doughnut, though. Jack told her all about the biotic kids she was working with.

Cortez dropped by too, and watched a biotiball game quietly by her side.

Shepard spent more than a few hours talking to Garrus and Tali. They showed her the work in progress on Rannoch and listened to her 'd gossip with Tali about movie stars, now that she was spending a lot of time catching up on all the vids she'd missed. Garrus encouraged her to keep at her PT because he was going to challenge her to a shooting contest the next time they were together.

Her mom stopped by, cordial as ever. Hackett, as well, the concern evident on his face. He briefed her on the investigation. Briefed her and Kaidan, as Kaidan hardly left her side. Kaidan asked the medical team questions and took notes on his omnitool. He brought her whatever she asked for, within reason, and watched stupid TV shows with her that she knew he hated. When Kaidan wasn't looking, she would glance over to see him holding back laughter. She wondered when he was going to leave to go back to his dad. She knew before the attack that he had not been convinced that she really wanted to be with him. He was just convinced that she was damaged. Her latest near-death experience might have changed his mind, but he hadn't said anything. So she waited patiently, and as the hospital discharged her, she asked him to come home with her.

"I love you." Shepard stared at Kaidan expectantly.

"I don't get why you're going to go see him. It's only going to upset you," Kaidan argued as he leaned against Shepard's kitchen counter. He had agreed to stay with her, so he'd been crashing in her apartment's guest bedroom. His choice, not hers.

"Did you hear me?" Shepard threw her hands up in frustration.

"You're just now getting back to a good place, and I- "

"I said I love you, I can take care of myself, and thank you for the concern." She held a finger to his lips to silence him. Touching his lips lit a fire in her, and she had the urge to kiss him. An urge she suppressed because while he had told her he loved her and they had been thick as thieves the last several weeks, there was that estrangement to move past. She was scared. Scared he wouldn't want her back, couldn't after what she had put him through.

"I understand." Kaidan sounded defeated.

"Do you understand?" Shepard found herself replying sarcastically. He always questioned her decisions. The uncertainty of their relationship, and his resistance to her getting a conclusion to this nightmare was gnawing at her.

"Go talk to him."

"You know what? None of this would have happened if you were here," Shepard knew as soon as the words left her mouth that she couldn't take them back.

Kaidan looked like he had been struck. "You think I wanted to be away? You sent me back during the final assault, and then you pushed me away when I got back."

"You didn't fight me about it."

"Fight you about it?" he laughed bitterly. "There's no fighting once you've made up your mind. You don't think it kills me that you woke up after the Citadel and I wasn't there? That I wasn't by your side during surgery, or after Joker was killed? Or at the funeral?"

Shepard winced. "I know."

"Just go do what you need to do." Kaidan lowered his head, gripping the countertop. He didn't say anything more as Shepard gathered her things and left.

Shepard stood outside of Colby's hotel room door, waiting for him to answer. She had been shocked when he had agreed to meet her. Why he would be willing to be confronted, she didn't know. Shepard just wanted some answers, some clarity that would hopefully resolve the clawing in her gut.

The door creaked open, revealing Colby, his face scruffy. The hotel room was dimly lit with the blinds down. He was staying there, protected by the police, because of the ongoing news frenzy surrounding the latest assassination attempt against Shepard. Of course she had her detractors, but there were also passionate supporters who had threatened Colby's liffe.

Colby glanced wearily down the halls on both sides before acknowledging her. "You want to come in?" he hesitated.

Shepard merely nodded, stepping in and following him to the table and chairs set under the lone glowing light that hung above. It cast a hard shadow on Colby. He was stiff in his chair, his gaze fixed on his hands in front of him. "You wanted to talk?" His voice was barely a whisper.

"I'm not going to hurt you," Shepard muttered.

He looked up at her then. "Maybe you should."

She rolled her eyes. "Maybe I should. But I'm not going to. That's not who I am. I don't hurt my friends. Even when they make the dumbest fucking decisions."

Colby was checking out his hands again.

"You know you were a shit bodyguard and a really shitty friend. I trusted you. I… I… were you playing me the entire time?"

He shook his head, and his voice was quiet but insistent. "No. No. It wasn't until just before Joker's funeral that I got the message about my sister. I couldn't live with myself if anything happened to her. I knew it was serious. The bombing, the shooting… it was life or death."

Shepard slammed the table, surprising herself and him. "You should have told me!"

"You know they could've killed my sister for saying anything to you."

"You don't know that for certain. I could've helped. Someone could've helped!" He didn't reply, so she continued. "I could've died."

"I know," he whispered.

Shepard squeezed her eyes and inhaled deeply through her nose. "I'm not even angry, I'm disappointed. I'm hurt. But - ," she reached out, grabbing his restless hands. "If it means anything, I forgive you. I'm glad your sister's safe."

Shepard dropped his hands and stood up to leave.

"Shepard, I'm sorry -"

She stopped. "I'm sorry, too. You got tangled up in something that shouldn't have involved you. I almost got you killed, or your sister. It's hazardous to get close to me, really."

"No, I don't regret spending time with you."

"Yeah," she sighed. "I don't either."

Shepard waited by the door, wondering if there was more to be said, but she settled for, "Take care, Colby."

"You too, Shepard."

She let herself out, closing the door gently behind her. No one was in the hallway, and if anyone was watching, they didn't say anything as she pressed her back to the wall and slowly sunk down to the ground. She stayed there awhile, her head tilted back as she was lost in thought.

When Shepard got back to her apartment, she was surprised to see Kaidan sitting on the couch. She figured he would've stalked off after their fight, either temporarily or permanently. "You're here."

"Do you want me to go?" The look he gave stopped her in her tracks. His words were earnest, and she could tell he was in pain.

"No!" She realized how loud her response was. Shepard tossed her keys on the counter and tentatively slouched down next to Kaidan. He was rubbing his temples, and Shepard reached out to gently replace his fingers with her own, copying his ministrations.

"I'm sorry you have a headache."

He grunted, but allowed her to continue massaging his head in silence. Kaidan seemed to start to relax.

"Why did I have to go through all of this? Joker? Us?" Shepard mumbled.

"Sometimes, things just happen, and we don't get to know why." Kaidan took a deep breath. "Did you know you died in my arms? At the cemetery. When I found you… my heart nearly stopped. I didn't hear or see what happened at Alchera… I wasn't there when they pulled you from the rubble of the Citadel… but in that moment, I saw you dying, and there was nothing I could do. I tried to get help, but the next minute, I was holding you, and you weren't there anymore. I told you… I… can't go through that again."

Shepard heard his voice break. She reached down to squeeze his hand. "Me, too. And I don't want to hurt you." She sighed. "I've been so goddamn lonely, and I've missed you so much. And I don't want to hurt you, but I can't promise it won't happen. But I can promise that I love you, and I want to be with you, if you'll have me."

Shepard rubbed at her face, annoyed to find that she was uncharacteristically crying. "Dammit."

Kaidan glanced up, and Shepard noted he wasn't unaffected. His eyes were glassy, but the corner of his mouth quirked up. "If I'll have you?"

"Yeah."

A moment of awkward silence passed. Shepard hit him with a pillow playfully.

"Okay, I surrender!" he laughed, pulling her into his lap. "I want to be with you, too. Not even a question."

Shepard leaned down, pressing her forehead to his. "I want us to get out of here."

"And go where?"

Shepard hesitated slightly before grazing Kaidan's jaw with light kisses. It had been awhile, and she felt oddly nervous. "I Want. To. Go. Meet. Your. Dad."

"I might've had something different in mind right now."

"I'll allow it." Shepard suddenly pulled back to look at Kaidan."I'm serious, though. I think I want to get out of the city."

Kaidan rested his hands on her thighs. "That's fine with me."

Shepard bit her lip. "And I think I want to talk to someone."

"Talk to someone?"

She nodded. "I want to. I need to."

Kaidan embraced Shepard, drawing her close to his chest. It was his turn now to pepper kisses along her ear. "I love you, Shep."