The school was identical to the Casper High Phantom had gotten to know from afar. Though he had briefly attended as an actual student, most of his memories were of wondering the halls, invisible and envious, and watching everyone go about their lives without him.
Now he was very visible.
"Mr. Phantom," a teacher said. "How have you fallen so far behind?"
The students giggled.
"W-well I, uh-" Phantom stood in front of the chalkboard, confused and helpless.
"He's in the wrong place!" A cheerleader said. "This kid is still in middle school."
"I graduated middle school!" Phantom said.
"Sure you did, short stack." The guy with Elvis Presley hair had his feet up on Dash's desk.
Dash was covering his face with his hands.
Thanks a lot, Dash, Phantom thought.
"Sit down," the teacher said. "You clearly have some catching up to do."
"Or you have some teaching to do," Phantom said.
The students laughed. Dash peeked out from between his fingers.
The teacher sighed. "Take a seat, Phantom."
oOo
There was no way off campus. Outside the windows there was just… a gray void. Open the front doors and… well, more void.
Phantom stood at the ledge and wondered what would happen if he jumped.
Dash pulled him away from the door and slammed it shut. "Are you crazy?!"
"I want to get out of here!"
"And you think I don't?"
A chorus of voices sang " G" behind them every time Dash and Phantom spoke to each other.
When Phantom had punched one of the singers, the first time, they all dog piled on top of him.
It had lasted for hours and he would have suffocated if he were alive.
Now he just glared at them.
Dash acted as if he couldn't even hear it.
"Look what if your powers-" Dash started.
"They're still gone!" Phantom punched a locker. "I'm a shitty fucking hero, okay? Look either jumping is a way out or it isn't. You don't lose anything if I go-"
"I'll lose you!" Dash said.
"Oooh," a cheerleader said. The crowd around them was growing. "Trouble in paradise?"
Dash facepalmed.
"Guess your twink doesn't want you," the greaser said. "You're so handsome too! What could be missing?"
"I'm not gay!" Phantom said. Then he glanced at Dash. "There's obviously nothing wrong with being gay, but-"
Dash still had a hand over his face. Specifically he was shielding his eyes. He added another hand over his mouth.
It was a new habit he'd developed, Phantom guessed.
"And so many women throw themselves at you," the cheerleader said. "Mister town hero. Oh Righteous Phantom. Dragon Slayer and Rock Band Destroyer!"
She draped herself over him as she spoke, with an arm over his shoulder and a hand cupping his face.
The girl was tall and the way she cradled him reminded Phantom of Kitty. He glared at her.
"Did you tell your boyfriend about those girls?" Greaser said. "The way you flew away like a startled bird?"
Dash tried walking away, but Greaser had him in a headlock.
"Shut up," Phantom mumbled.
He knew it was pointless. It was like this place could read their minds.
The greaser pulled Dash's hands away from his face. Dash kept his eyes tightly shut.
"You know that idiot covered his room in drawings of you?" The cheerleader said. "He paid the art club kids-"
"Shut up!" Dash said.
"So sad when your love won't notice you," the greaser chuckled. "But now he's right here, buddy! Look at him seeing you!"
Dash elbowed the dude in the gut.
The guy didn't react.
The cheerleader giggled. "I love a dysfunctional couple."
"I love a bad movie as much as the next guy," Phantom said. "But you guys seriously need a new script."
The little snort of laughter Dash let out at that was satisfying, at least.
The girl stomped on Phantom's foot.
But he didn't feel a thing. Pain is in your head, he knew. Pain doesn't exist when you're dead.
"You never know when to shut up, Fentard," she said.
Dash frowned.
The bell rang.
"Time for lunch!" The cheerleader trilled. "Come along boys."
oOo
The cafeteria was the worst place in the school, Phantom decided.
The students were caught in an eternal food fight; throwing milk cartons, tomatoes, sloppy joes and dripping fish sandwiches in every direction.
It was disgusting.
"Goddammit!" Dash tried shielding his face with a lunch tray, but he couldn't protect his hair. He tried brushing it with a spork. "It's melting my hair gel!"
The meat was scalding hot and stung on impact.
"That's not a hairbrush, little mermaid," Phantom quipped.
"God! Would you please take this seriously?!" Dash said. "Why are you like this?!"
"Why are you so concerned about your hair?"
Phantom could feel something dripping onto his nose. He pushed his own white bangs out of his face impatiently.
"You're just like him!" Dash stared at him with wide eyes. "Why are you just like him?"
Phantom opened his mouth and accidentally caught a pickle.
He gagged.
"Fuck!" Dash grabbed him from behind and punched him in the stomach.
It hurt. Dammit. "Get off me!" Phantom said.
He had swallowed the pickle whole and his throat ached with it.
It doesn't hurt, it doesn't hurt, it doesn't hurt.
If Phantom repeated it enough times he could walk off anything.
Dash let him go.
A lunch tray hit him in the back of the head.
It didn't hurt!
Dash pulled him under a table.
"Phantom!" Dash said. "I think I'm going crazy, seriously."
"That's what this place is designed for," Phantom said.
"You aren't the way I thought you would be." Dash cut a sad figure, hunching his huge frame under a cafeteria table with tomato sauce dripping off his hair.
His face crumpled and Phantom realized the guy was crying.
"Never meet your heroes," Phantom muttered.
"There it is again!" Dash said. "You're just as bad as them!"
"I resent that," Phantom said. "Also you're one to talk!"
"I know! I know! Shit." Dash took his jacket off and smothered his face in it.
"... feel stupid," Dash mumbled.
Phantom snatched the jacket away from him.
"Say that again," Phantom said.
"I don't like feeling stupid!" Dash said.
"Then don't be stupid?"
"Fuck off!" Dash stood so abruptly he knocked their table over.
He marched through the flying food and got absolutely covered in mayo and mystery meat, but the guy just ignored it and kept going.
Then he was out of the cafeteria.
"That simple, huh?" Phantom said.
Guess I should follow Dash's example, Phantom thought.
Then: Ew. I hate this place.