Yaaaaay! I updated! Haaaaaaaaah. I. Am. Dead. Tired. Now. And it's only the second day of a one week marching band camp. Ugh, I know I love marching band but, holy crap, I'm tired. I thought I was gonna die on that field. Anyway, I was supposed to update two weeks ago, but my phone was acting like crap and I had to change it... twice. That also delayed the whole updating thing. Ugh, stupid iPhones and crap.
Well, thank you very much to Impstar, DemonFoxBK201, Random Google, Are all the names used, Kanrei, Umperson12345, AW27, InvisableTarget, SpringStars, Riku Uzumaki, garsdal, Vangran, haystack51, dan, and BlueCandyStar for reviewing last chapter! And as promised to some of you, a chapter that is over 3,000 words.
Chapter 13: The Forced Truth
Rinko sighed as she sat down on the couch in the break room. She had been on her feet for over sixteen hours just trying to keep a certain fifteen-year-old alive. For a second there, she thought she was going to lose him again. After all, getting him stable wasn't easy. The nurse closed her eyes and took a deep breath and exhaled.
She nearly dozed off when the door suddenly opened. Rinko wearily lifted her head and saw one of her fellow coworkers standing at the doorway with a look of urgency. She frowned.
"Please tell me it's not about Kazuto-kun." Rinko begged her. The other nurse smiled sympathetically.
"Does his mother count?" she asked. Rinko quickly sat up and straightened out her uniform, trying to appear nice.
"Let her in." she told her. The nurse quickly nodded and left to get the boy's mother. A couple of seconds later, a woman with her black hair tied in a bun, walked in wearing her business attire.
"Midori-san." Rinko said politely as she gestured for her to sit down. "Please sit. I'm sure you've had a long day."
Kirigaya Midori took her offer and sat down in the couch across her. She placed her bag beside her and gave Rinko a small smile.
"Well, taking a break from sitting in front of a computer all day is nice. But the phone call I received earlier wasn't." she said as she frowned. Her hands twisted together in worry. "Rinko-chan, how is he holding up?"
Rinko bit the back of her lip as she got up to grab Kazuto's medical file (Kayaba was nice enough to return it to her). "Well, he's stable, but..."
"But...?" Midori prompted. She desperately wanted to know what Rinko was hesitating to tell her. Rinko begrudgingly gave her the file.
"He needs a new heart, Midori-san." she sadly. "I don't know how much longer I can keep this up. Soon, our machines won't be able to keep Kazuto-kun alive."
Midori opened the file and read it over with a heavy, stressed sigh. "About how much time do you think he has left now? I mean, his time must've been extended. It's been over year since then."
Rinko sat down again and clasped her hands together in her lap. "Honestly, the doctors aren't expecting much. Maybe another five, six months? I'm not sure. I did suggest that we should give him a heart transplant, but the risks are pretty high."
Kazuto's mother bit the back of her lip. "...and those risks are?"
"Well," Rinko began as she recalled the conversation she had with a doctor an hour ago. "There is a chance that the victims of SAO won't be able to clear the game for a long while, and that's self-explanatory. According to the surgeon, he can only do it when Kazuto-kun isn't in the game. And even if they do end up clearing the game, there's a chance that Kazuto-kun wouldn't be strong enough to survive or recover after the surgery… There's too much stress on his body at the current moment. I really think you should put him on the waiting list. I know we wanted to keep this a secret from him, but we should stop putting this off, and since I'm keeping him alive, I want him to live. Whether he likes it or not, I'm going to keep him alive."
Midori sighed heavily. "He would be very upset once he finds out, Rinko-chan. But," she smiled sadly, "You're right, we've been holding it off for far too long. I want him on that list. I don't care about the risks, either. He needs to live. And I'm not about to lose him just like my sister. He needs to wake up."
Rinko gave an encouraging smile. "Don't worry, Midori-san. He has a strong will and I've seen it several times before."
Midori leaned back in her seat. "I know, but it really makes me wonder...did he know about this? I mean, I was sure to keep it a secret from him and Suguha-chan. But there were times when he gave me a knowing look."
Rinko half-heartedly laughed. "You know, Midori-san, I wouldn't be surprised if he knew. He is a very sharp and intelligent child - I mean, teenager."
"That's very true." Midori agreed with a smile.
._._._._._.
Kirito wished that he could turn back time and fix all his problems. Like going back to that scary day eleven years ago, or when he accidentally let his actual situation slip. But of course, it was impossible. He was able to come up with a lame excuse saying that he was tired (he really was though) and got away from explaining what he meant to Asuna and Klein. If anything, he only delayed the inevitable. After all, who wants to tell their friends that they're dying?
Yeah, that's why he would rather shut up than tell them.
It had been a couple hours ago since they left the forest, and Kirito was randomly scolding himself since he had the urge to do so.
"Nice job, Kirito," said the Black Swordsman to himself. "Now you've got to explain what in the world is going on!"
He threw his hands up in the air and sighed in frustration as he began pacing back and forth in his room. No, not his IRL room, but a room given to him in the house of the ≪Fuurinkazen≫ Guild.
"As if I even know what's going on... What are you going to do now, you idiot!" he asked himself. He dropped his hands and crossed his arms. "I can't tell them who Heathcliff is. I can't even bring myself to even say that I'm-"
He cut himself off as he felt a cold feeling nab him. Kirito rubbed his upper arms and shook his head.
"No, I shouldn't be thinking like that. Rinko-nee-chan would slap me pretty hard like she did when Aki-nii-chan missed their date..." He shivered at the thought. Kirito clearly remembered the day Akihiko came into his hospital room with a bright red hand mark across his face...
He sighed and rubbed his eyes tiredly as he sat on him bed. Outside, it began to rain. He listened to the raindrops as a memory replayed in his head. A memory he couldn't believe he actually remembered.
"Oh, it's raining."
The little five-year-old Kazuto clung to the seventeen-year-old Kayaba's brown sweater as he was lifted into the teen's waist. The clingy child wrapped his arms around Kayaba's shoulders to stay balanced.
"Looks like you can't go outside today, Kazuto-kun." Kayaba stated. Kazuto shook his head and pointed outside with his tiny, frail hands.
"No, I wanna go outside." he said. Kayaba gave him a small frown.
"I don't know... I don't think your mom would like that..." he said hesitantly. Kazuto pouted and gave him his special puppy dog eyes.
"Pweeeeeaaase, Aki-nii-chan? Pwetty pwease?" The adorable child asked (well, you know kids, they beg). Kayaba attempted to give him his best stern looked. Sadly, it failed miserably as he gave in to Kazuto's puppy eyes. He sighed.
"Fine. Just let me get your coat." he said as he placed Kazuto back on the hospital bed and walked over to the other side of the room. Kazuto giggled happily as his right leg swung back and forth, hitting the side of the bed, but his other stayed limp and still. If one looked close enough, they could see the faint stark white scar that ran jaggedly from his knee and mostly likely his hip. He was excited that he was finally going outside for the first time in a year. From what he remembered, he heard that he was going home today. It had sadden him that he couldn't walk anymore (which confused him since he could move one leg and not the other), but it never dampened his childish impulses to have fun.
Kayaba came back with Kazuto's light blue rain coat and his own dark blue. The little boy eagerly slipped it on and reached his arms to Kayaba. The teen hefted Kazuto onto his waist once more, took him downstairs, and out into the pouring rain. He stopped under the overhang in front of the entrance and stood right next to the rain. Kazuto slowly reached his pale hand out and yelped in shock at the coldness.
He stared at his hand for a moment before sticking it back out in the rain. He waited until his sleeve was soaked and enjoyed the coldness seeping in. Giving the rain a smile, he pulled his arm back in and pulled himself closer to Kayaba.
A smile crossed over Kayaba's face as Kazuto watched the rain in fascination. "Missed the rain, Kazuto-kun?"
The small boy nodded happily as he continued to watch, "Yeah! This is the best day ever, Aki-nii-chan!"
Kayaba huffed in amusement. "I wouldn't consider a rainy day the best day."
Kazuto turned away from the rain and gave a bright smile. "It's only the best day because you're here, Aki-nii!"
Kirito smiled sadly at the memory. He really wished that he could go back into time now and relive the happy days. Sighing, he placed his elbows on his knees and buried his face in his hands as the rain grew heavier.
"Great. I'm screwed. Completely screwed." he muttered to himself.
._._._._._.
Asuna leaned against the windowsill of the ≪Fuurikazen≫ Guild house as she watched the sky become dark with heavy rain clouds. She sighed. "Well, there goes our 'fun-filled' day."
Klein hummed in agreement. The two just silently watched the rain slowly fall and become a sudden downpour. Asuna couldn't help but run the words Kirito accidentally slipped over and over in her head.
"First, I black out and I end up seeing Rinko-nee-chan trying to keep me alive, then I woke up to find myself in some weird world only to be thrown back into SAO! Is this even possible?"
Just what did he mean? Did he see the real world? Or was his mind playing tricks on him? And what did he mean by 'only to be thrown back into SAO'?
Several questions appeared on after another in Asuna's head. She was getting confused more and more by the second. Her thoughts quickly traced back to the day when Kirito admitted that something was wrong.
"Wait a minute. Let's just assume that Kirito can feel pain. If this game doesn't allow pain, then why can Kirito? Did something happen in the time he disappeared after the first floor boss was defeated?"
"-his avatar just completely shut down."
Asuna frowned. Kirito really didn't want help but she just had too. She couldn't stand by and let him slip away from everyone. She-
"Guys, can I trust you to keep this to yourself?"
-rolled her eyes in frustration. She kept his secret for three long months and it's really starting to bother her! She can't keep this up for much longer!
"-I end up seeing Rinko-nee-chan trying to keep me alive-"
Her eyes suddenly widened as everything seemed to have clicked into place. Without another word, she ran out of the room and shot up the stairs.
"Oi! Asuna!" Klein called as he followed her. The two stopped in front of Kirito's room and Asuna didn't pause to knock as she allowed herself in, startling Kirito from his brooding.
"Ah! Uhh-A-A-Asuna! D-did you ever heard of knocking?!" Kirito exclaimed as he jumped up from his place, completely surprised. Asuna waited for Klein to get in and slammed the door shut.
"Kirito, we need to talk." she said with all seriousness. Klein looked at her incredulously.
"We do?" he asked dumbly. Asuna shot him a glare and he quickly corrected himself. "I-I mean, we do!"
Kirito stared at them in confusion. "Can't this wait...?" He took a couple steps back to sit back down on his bed. He raised his hands in defense with a look of unease (mostly because Asuna looked pretty upset at the current moment...).
"No. It can't wait! I don't even think we can wait! Kirito, you do realize you're being really stupid right now, right?" Asuna demanded. The teen stared at her with his eyebrows furrowed.
"Hah? About what?" he asked. Asuna stomped her foot harshly. She gave Kirito a sympathetic look before looking away. She didn't answer. All the frustration that built up was suddenly gone. She could only feel sorrow and...regret? Yeah, she regretted confronting Kirito without a better approach, but what was done was done.
Kirito sighed. He slowly stood and grabbed his left arm out of habit. There was a long silence before he spoke again with a soft, tired voice.
"About what, Asuna?" he asked gently. Even when Kirito asked again, he already knew the answer. After all, he knew Asuna would piece things together before Klein. She stood up straight and loosely crossed her arms.
"You're..." She trailed off, unsure how to word her answer better. Several emotions stopped her for a moment. What if Kirito runs away again? What if Kirito doesn't want to talk to them anymore? What if he pushes everyone away again? Klein only stood by and watched since he felt that he shouldn't interrupt.
She steeled herself and took a deep breath. Whatever happens after, she didn't care. She cared about now. "There's something wrong with you, isn't there?"
Kirito only looked away, but Asuna caught a glimpse of hurt in his eye. They took his silence as a yes. But Asuna wasn't finished yet.
"I mean, it's not hard to not notice, Kirito! The pain you feel, the sudden collapses, and what you said earlier... Why didn't you just tell us?" Asuna asked. Kirito gave a small, sad smile.
"Then what if I ask you guys this?" he began as he turned around to look out the window. "Would you tell anyone your darkest secret?"
"Our darkest secret?" Klein echoed. He crossed his arms and shook his head. "If I wanted to keep it a secret then, of course I wouldn't tell anybody. What does that have to do our topic?"
"Exactly everything." Kirito rested his forehead on the window with a sigh. He tried so hard to distance himself from everyone he ran into. But these two were persistent. They wouldn't let him go. Asuna and Klein had a firm grip on him. Even if he tried to leave, he was sure he couldn't go. He did one thing he tried so hard not to do.
"Kirito, please." Asuna whispered. Kirito mentally cursed as he turned to her in hesitation.
"Fine. I'll admit it." He gave in. He knew he failed. Now, he had to tell them. "There is something wrong with me."
Asuna's eyes widened in surprise. She hadn't expected him to give in so quickly. But she kept silent as Klein stood next to her.
Kirito looked down and avoided their eye contact as he spoke. "In reality, I can barely walk with the help of crutches. I can't even make a full sentence without stammering every word. I can't go to school like any normal teenager. In fact, I haven't finished primary school, and yet I can build a computer from scratch without much assistance."
Asuna's hand found itself covering her mouth in surprise. He really did it. He actually gave up and told them. Klein frowned.
"You mean you can't walk...?" he asked. Kirito nodded and continued with a grim smile.
"That's not all, Klein." his voice shook but his grim smile never left. "I won't last very long. I mean, I am dying."
Dead silence.
"Oh, crap. I was right…" were the only words that left Asuna's lips while Klein's jaw smacked the floor (metaphorically, of course) a couple minutes later.
"How can you be so calm about this?!" Klein practically yelled. Kirito flinched at the harsh tone and stumbled back as Klein marched up to him. "You're dying and all you could say is, 'I mean, I am dying.'?! You talk about that as if it's no big deal! Well, heads up, Kirito! It is a big deal!"
"Klein..." Asuna began, but Klein ignored her as he continued scolding Kirito, who plastered a fake smile on his face.
"You can't just throw away your life like its nothing!" Klein yelled. Asuna took a step toward him.
"Klein." she called more forcefully, but failed yet again as Klein kept going.
"Just playing as a solo is proof you don't care even about it! You're just willing to die, aren't you?!" he continued. Kirito's smile suddenly disappeared in a flash as he stomped his foot down into the floor so hard that the ≪Immortal Object≫ label popped out. Shock crossed Klein's face as he stopped his sudden rant.
Irritation and frustration was clear on Kirito's face. The ≪Black Swordsman≫ was obviously feed up. "You think I don't care?! You think I'm just throwing away my life because I'm dying?! You think I'm willing to die?!"
He glared into Klein's flabbergasted eyes. "I do care! I don't want to die! There's tons of stuff I still want to do! I wanna see my sister and watch her grow up to be the best in Kendo in all of Japan, like she always promised to me, even though she's not really my sister! I wanna see and actually talk to my 'father' for a whole hour before he goes off on another business trip! I wanna see my 'mother' and tell her that she's the best mom a person like me could ever have! I wanna beat the crap out of Aki-nii-chan for being such a jerk! I wanna tell Rinko-nee-chan that I won't give up and surprise her with being alive!"
Asuna stood by and listened to Kirito rant off, finally releasing all the pent up stress and frustration he had since she first met him. Klein couldn't help but feel guilty. He acted before thinking about how Kirito really felt about this.
Kirito huffed and crossed his arms. "I do have reasons for living. My body maybe rediculously weak, but the is no way am I going to freaking give up everything I've been working so hard for... Are we done? 'Cause I could really use some peace and quiet."
The question seemed to have snapped Asuna and Klein attention as they both hesitantly nodded.
"I'm sorry, Kirito." Asuna apologized. "I'm really sorry."
"About what?" Kirito snapped.
"Everything. Well, confronting you like this." Asuna clarified.
Kirito sighed and ran a tired hand through his black hair. "Yeah. Sure. Just...just get out."
Klein walked over to the closed door and stopped for a moment. He turned to see Kirito sitting down on the bed with his face in his hands.
"Kirito, I'm sorry too. I didn't know." he confessed, but the teen made no acknowledgement. He sighed. "If there's anything, we'll be downstairs."
They two left without another word. Kirito pulled his feet to the edge of the bed and hugged his knees. And, for the first time in a long time, he finally allowed himself to cry. Once the first drop fell, it couldn't stop. The rain continued to pour harder and Kirito's shoulders shook with fear when the weight of his own words came to him.
"I mean, I am dying."
"Damn it, Aki-nii." he strained as he buried his face in his knees. "This makes no sense anymore. Why? Why did you do this?"
Aaaaaaand done! I asked my friend how I should write this chapter, and he said I should make you guys cry. But I'm not sure. I don't think I was able too, but oh well. This chapter is done and done. My legs are sore, my eyes are droooooooping, and my shoulders are killing me. Well, tell me what you guys thought of this chapter! Thank for all of you guys' support for this story! I'm amazed how much you guys love this story!
-CloudyLightning