The Future of Magic

by Bakanasakusha

Magic is wonderful, magic can do anything. But with Takeo and Sae, it tends not to do quite what they meant. Can their growing relationship (and the greater Tokyo metropolitan area) survive the strains it brings?

2. The Big, The Small, and the Magic Move

The Future of Magic

Chapter 2. The Big, The Small, and The Magic Move

People make a lot of tired jokes about how bad Monday mornings are, but usually, I'm fine with them. The Monday after my date with Sae, though, was a different matter.

The first indication something was wrong was when I saw Aburatsubo and Nakatomi standing at the corner talking to each other on my way into school. "Good morning –" I began.

Aburatsubo turned and sneered at me. "You disgust me!"

And Nakatomi stepped up and slapped me on the cheek. "How dare you!"

"Huh? What on earth –" It was then I saw Aikawa standing behind them. Uh-oh. "Aikawa-kun, what have you been telling them?" I demanded.

"Just what I saw, senpai. That's all. I was impressed, but apparently they feel differently about it."

I buried my face in my hands. "Oh, good grief." Looking up again, I went on, "It's not at all like that. Sae – I mean, Sawanoguchi – has a power we never suspected." I went through the events of that Friday quickly, downplaying the kissing aspect, and leaving out the whole bit about us sleeping together altogether. "So that's it. Oh, and those, uh, those condoms, that was just a joke by Sawanoguchi's sister."

Nakatomi was skeptical. "You sure that's all?"

"Of course, of course. I have every respect for Sawanoguchi. I would never do anything to upset her."

She studied my face for a while, then shrugged. "All right. I suppose I should apologize for slapping you. Except I'm pretty sure you still deserve it for other things, so I won't."

"Whatever. Aikawa-kun, you didn't tell anyone else about our – about the little adventure Sawanoguchi and I had, did you?"

"Oh, no, of course not." She paused for a moment. "Though come to think of it, I did run into that strange Ryoko girl after my photoshoot on Saturday, and she wanted to know what you'd been doing, so I mentioned about your date and all. But she doesn't even go to our school, so that shouldn't matter."

"All right, I suppose." If you've read the manga, you know who Ryoko Ryugasaki is. But if not, she's this annoying (but kind of cute) girl that dragooned me into working for this weird organization her dad runs, the House of Spirits (魔界舎). She was also my first kiss, which was definitely NOT my idea. Anyway, she's a pain, but nothing more than that. Or so I thought.

At that point, Sae showed up, and everyone fell silent. "Um, good morning," she said. "Is there something wrong?"

"No, no," I said. "It's just, they had heard a somewhat inaccurate account of what happened on our date, so I had to straighten them out."

"Oh, I see." She paused. "Wait, what did you hear about our date?"

Nakatomi replied, "It's all Akane's fault. She told us some nonsense about how you two slept together."

"Oh. Well, it's true, we did sleep together."

"WHAAAATTTT!?" the others cried in unison.

"Yes, we –" Sae suddenly realized what she had said. "Wait, no, I just meant we were sleeping! We didn't do any of that other stuff!"

Nakatomi confronted her. "You're telling the truth, right, Sae? You're not trying to cover up for this guy, are you?"

"No, of course not! There's nothing to cover up! Takeo was very nice to me!"

"'Takeo', is it?" Nakatomi repeated her "looking suspiciously and then shrugging" bit, this time with Sae. "I suppose it's not too likely that this guy was able to seduce anyone. All right."

I wasn't pleased with Nakatomi's insolence, but at least I figured that would be the end of matters. And it was, at first.

It was only at lunchtime that I noticed people were casting glances at me surreptitiously and whispering to each other. Then this guy Ryusuke, who normally has nothing to do with me, came up to me afterward and said, "Hey man, I never would have believed I'd be saying this, but congratulations!" Oh, great. Maybe there were a few other people Aikawa told that she forgot about.

After lunch, Aburatsubo was called out of class to the vice principal's office. He came back twenty minutes later, whispering to me, "Don't worry, it'll be all right."

Needless to say, that did make me worry, but I didn't have a chance to get any more information from him when, a few minutes later, I was called to the office in turn.

Kubo-sensei, the clubs supervisor, was there along with Kimura-sensei, the vice principal. "Ah, the passion of youth! It does keep us on our toes, doesn't it, Mr. Kimura?" Kubo-sensei said.

"Which is difficult for those of us without ballet training," Kimura-sensei replied. "Mr. Takakura, please, sit down."

"If this is about Sawanoguchi-kun," I began, "I can explain –"

"No need, no need. Mr. Aburatsubo has already clarified matters for us. And we are hardly ones to be opposed to young love. It's just, when the school is rife with salacious rumors about one of ours, we must, for appearance's sake if nothing else, make some temporary adjustments."

"Wait – salacious rumors?"

"Yes, I'm afraid I've had reports that there was a student here who is running some sort of sex cult, using black magic to enslave underclass girls to his will, etc., etc. And from certain details in the story, it became clear they were referring to you."

"To me? But – but that's utter nonsense! I would never use magic to – would never do anything to girls like that!"

"Ah, but love leads us down many strange paths," Kubo-sensei offered.

"Ahem. Yes, and I'm afraid here it's taken an unfortunate detour," Kimura-sensei said. "Now, as I said, Mr. Aburatsubo did confirm for us that none of this was true, so we're not concerned about it from that standpoint. However, like Caesar's wife, the president of a school club must be above suspicion. So we're asking you to step aside temporarily as the president of the Magic Club. Mr. Aburatsubo has graciously agreed to take over that role, while Miss Nakatomi will assume his responsibilities as vice president. No doubt this will all blow over before too long, and you can reassume your office, but for now ..."

I left feeling devastated. Here I had gone from the high point of my life on Friday, to one of my lowest ever on Monday. The club I had fought so hard for, being taken away from me like that ... Oh, sure, the club was still there, and having Aburatsubo in charge was ok, I guess, but it made me feel so defeated. Oh well, at least I could still go there and meet with Sae and all, even if I wasn't in charge.

Except when I went to the club room after school, there was a note that our meeting was canceled because "the president" had business to attend to. And Sae, someone told me, had already left with Nakatomi, so I simply had to go home alone.

While I was walking along, feeling dejected, a familiar voice called out, "Yo, Takeo! We gotta talk!"

Ryoko speaks with this fake sort of Osaka accent (long story) so I knew at once it was her. And, putting two and two together, I realized what was going on. I turned around, and there was that cute girl in the old-style bloused fuku they still use at her high school. "You told someone at our school, didn't you?" I said to her. "About me and Sae?"

"That's what we gotta talk about. C'mon, buy me a coffee. We both got some explaining to do."

She dragged me into a nearby cafe, where (sigh) I bought her a latte and a slice of chestnut cake. I mean, she is cute, even if rather pushy.

"You go first," she said. "Whaddid you and Sae actually do?"

I gave her a quick run-down of our date, feeling less of a need to conceal things, as I wanted to make sure she knew where Sae and I stood, just in case she still had any designs on me.

"Wow, so you guys made it all the way to Hawaii on a kiss? Damn, that's amazing! How come you never took me anywhere when we kissed?"

"You know perfectly well there was nothing romantic about that. You forced me into it. And anyway, it's Sae's power which caused it, not mine."

"Nah, I'm pretty sure it's you two guys together. Magic of love and all. Which makes me kinda jealous. And also kinda wondering what you guys's kids are gonna be like. Between your powers and hers, they gotta be spectacular." She paused, looking thoughtful – well, as thoughtful as Ryoko ever gets. "'Course, that's assuming you guys can ever manage to have kids. I mean, if just kissing puts you in Hawaii, do the dirty deed, and you'll end up on Mars!"

The coincidence with what Sae had said removed any humor value that might have had for me. "Yes, well, that's something for Sae and me to work out. But let's get to your side. I understand Aikawa told you something –"

"Yeah, though I didn't really believe it. Sure, you two are crazy about each other – everybody knows that – but that you'd be bumping uglies already – hell, I wouldn't have even believed you'd be kissing if you hadn't told me. Still not quite sure I believe it."

"So if you didn't believe it, how come these wild stories were going all over my school? They came from you, didn't they?"

"Ha, ha, yeah, about that. Dunno if you knew, but you musta picked up some kinda enemy at your school. Some princess-type named Miyami or something."

"Oh. Miyama."

"So you know. Anyway, she's got these two weird little guys –"

"Rinpun and Kojin?"

"Yeah, them. She finds out about you guys's date and sends 'em to tail you on it. Of course, they lose you when you jet off to Hawaii, so instead, they hang around Sae's place until they see you leaving the following morning. Which they wet their pants over, but while they're waiting for 'em to dry out, they see you talk with Akane, so they follow her until she notices and gives 'em the slip and –"

"Wait, how would you know all that?"

"Because I made 'em tell me. Akane told me about those guys when we talked, so I tracked 'em down and got 'em to spill."

"Huh? You used magic to make them talk?"

"Hey, I was protecting you, Takeo! Anyway, you know me, I'm pretty subtle, so they had no idea how I was making 'em."

"You? Subtle?"

She stuck out her tongue. "That's gonna cost you another slice of monburan."

I sighed and got it for her. And if you're thinking, what a wimp, the way he lets girls push him around, well, ok, maybe I am, but Ryoko really did help me develop my magic skills a lot, so I feel like I owe her.

Though I felt a little less so after what she told me next. "So, anyway," she said, between bites of cake, "I figured, these guys are up to no good, so lemme scare 'em off. So I tell 'em, watch out, 'cause once Takeo finds out you're following him, no telling what he'll do. He's way more powerful than me, he was able to make me do all kinds of weird stuff. So back off!" She sat back and sipped her latte. "Pretty clever, doncha think?"

"Clever?! Ryoko, don't you see what you did?"

"Yeah, I protected you. They ran off. You shoulda seen how scared they were!"

"No, no, Ryoko, think about it. First, they see that I apparently spent the night with Sae. Next, a pretty girl like you says that I made you do 'all kinds of weird stuff.' So guess what they conclude!"

"Uh, what?"

"That I run a sex cult where I make girls do perverted stuff!"

"Oh. But you did make me do perverted stuff, after all. Like get on my hands and knees and wiggle my butt way up in the air."

"No, all I did was make you kneel down. You were the one who decided to wiggle your butt!" Unfortunately, I said that a little too loudly, and people nearby started staring at us. I dropped to a whisper. "Oops. I mean, I would never make anyone do anything perverted!"

If you're wondering what this is about, when I first met Ryoko, she made us have this contest as to whose magic was stronger. I thought if I won, she'd leave us alone, but no such luck, as all it meant was I was "worthy" to be her partner. Partner for what? Don't ask; it's way more stupid than you're thinking.

She nodded. "Yeah, I know. You're too innocent for that. Which is what makes you so cute." She sighed. "Sorry about that. I guess I thought everybody would know how innocent you were, so they'd never take it that way." Again, she got that thoughtful-for-Ryoko look. "I do have one question, though."

"What's that?"

"Do you really think I'm a pretty girl? You've never said that before."

"Oh. Uh, yeah, sure, of course."

"How pretty am I? Like compared to the girls in your club? Let's leave Akane out of it; she's a professional, after all. But I'm prettier than Nanaka, right? How about – and I know this is tough for you – Sae? Am I prettier than her?"

I noticed she had completely lost her "accent" when the subject of beauty came up. There was probably something that could be exploited there, if I were so inclined.

But I'm not. "Ryoko, I don't think it's appropriate to compare people like that. Suffice it to say, all of you are beautiful in your own way."

She laughed, and slapped me on the back. "You are so diplomatic, Takeo! And I shouldna asked that last one" – somehow, she had gotten her accent back – "'cause I know how crazy you are about Sae. Sorry."

"Fine, fine. But that has nothing to do with the problem at hand. Fortunately, Aburatsubo was able to convince the school officials that this stuff wasn't true, but they've still removed me as the head of the club. And if Miyama's involved, there's no way she'll stop at just that."

"Oops. Jeez, I'm sorry. Look, I'll make it up to you."

"No, no, that's quite all right. I don't want you trying to use magic on Miyama or anything."

"Oh, all right, if you insist. I still need to do something for you – wait, I know! I'll solve your Sae problem!"

"My Sae problem?"

"Yeah, the problem of how you guys are going to manage to do it. 'Cause you might have it worse, but I'll bet other witches have faced that kinda thing before. I'll ask my dad about it."

"What!? Your dad!? Are you kidding?"

"Nah, it's perfect! I'll say, I need to know about safe sex for witches, then after he has a heart attack, I'll say, no, not for me, it's for Takeo and Sae. Just imagine his face!" She stood up. "Well, gotta go. Don't worry, Takeo, everything will work out fine in the end. I just know it. Oh, and thanks for the cake!" And, before I could react, she gave me a quick peck on the cheek. "Bye!"

Meeting with Ryoko always leaves me out of sorts, which was the perfect mood for what happened when I got home. "Tadaima!" I called out.

"Takeo, could I speak to you for a moment?" Mom said in one of those ominous mom tones.

She pulled me into a nearby room and closed the door. "I was taking some things to the dry cleaner, and when I was checking the jacket your father lent you, I found these in the pockets." And, you guessed it, she held out the condoms. "Perhaps you'll tell me the truth about what you and Sae were doing on your date?"

"I did tell the truth, Mom! Sae's sister put those in my pocket as a joke! I didn't realize it until after I left."

She looked at me with one of those ominous mom looks. "A joke, eh? I don't find it at all funny."

"It wasn't my idea, Mom! Trust me!"

She stared at me a while, then finally sighed. "I suppose I don't have any choice but to trust you. After all, you'll be going off on your own to college before long." Then, unexpectedly, she slapped the condoms back into my hand. "Put these away somewhere your father and I won't find them. And I do hope that if – when – you're in a situation to use them, you will. Don't let us find out the hard way that you didn't."

After that lovely little encounter, I had to call Sae. No, not to talk about condoms, but to let her know about Ryoko. And no, not about the "witch's safe sex" thing either. Even without those, though, it was still a difficult call. Mostly because my nosy sister, already suspicious after seeing Mom pull me aside, was trying her hardest to overhear what we were saying. So I had to disguise things.

"Hello?" Sae answered the phone.

"Hi, it's me, Takeo. I assume your friend told you about the situation?"

"My friend? Situation? Oh, you mean Nanaka and the club and all. That was so unfair what they did to you!"

"Yes, well, uh, it will hopefully soon be resolved. On that subject, though, it seems that a Minami Aoba High School individual was inadvertently the source of the misinformation."

"Minami Aoba? Wait, are you talking about Ryoko?"

"Ah, yes, it seems this individual was attempting a warning, which however was misinterpreted."

"Takeo, why are you talking in such a weird way?"

"Certain aspects of the current situation require it."

"Certain aspects? Oh, your sister is listening in on you, isn't she?"

"That is correct."

I heard laughter at the other end. "Well, that explains things. I don't quite get what you're saying, but maybe we can save that for tomorrow. Because I have some news of my own."

"Oh, and what is that?"

"Um, I'm afraid my parents talked with the Satos this morning."

I froze. Yeah, that was a loose end we left behind. "Oh, I see," I managed to get out.

"It's not as bad as you think. I told them you had gotten us a free trip to Hokkaido, so we were trying to surprise them, but then you had something come up and had to get back to Tokyo right away."

"Ah. Very good." Whew! Clever Sae!

"But they did say they're going to come down here in a couple of weeks to meet you. They're very curious about 'the young man who has captured our Sae's heart.' So we'll have to prepare for that."

"Of course, of course." I didn't freeze this time, but the temperature did seem to drop around ten degrees. One date, and already meeting the parents?

"Don't worry, I'm sure they'll like you. You're so kind and hard-working! Just the sort of person they appreciate!"

"I trust they will agree with your opinion."

We went on like that a while longer, but it was frustrating not being able to talk freely. At least it left Takako frustrated as well.

"What were you talking about?" she asked, after I hung up. "Is somebody in trouble or something?"

"No, unless it's you for listening to something that's none of your business." Being mature siblings, we then stuck out our tongues at each other.

That night, I dreamed Sae and I were sleeping together again. All right, finally a good dream! I remember thinking to myself.

[Sae snuggled up with me as before, and kissed me on the cheek. "I think I'm ready," she whispered. "For the next step."]

["Sae ..." I breathed. "Are you sure?"]

["Yes, Takeo. I don't care what happens. I want you ... I need you ... now!"]

[I ranged myself above her, but as I, uh, you know, entered her, I saw she had somehow become Ryoko.]

["Finally you admit it," Ryoko said, without any accent. "Take me, take me now!"]

[Just as I was about to, uh, how can I put it, reach the, um, climax, though, she changed again, becoming not Ryoko, not Sae, but (ugh) Miyama. "I have you now!" she cried. "You are mine forever!"]

I woke up in a cold sweat. Whatever you may think of my (conscious) fantasies, at least they're responsible in which targets they choose. I'd never had any sort of fantasy about Ryoko, even if I do maybe like her a little bit. And as for Miyama – no, forget about it!

Which is what I tried. I focused on the comforting image of Sae snuggled up with me, and tried hard not to let it go any further, for fear of what it might become. That final image, though, kept forcing its way in. The struggle went on and on until, exhausted, I fell asleep thinking about nothing at all.

The next day, I was walking down the hallway at school when I heard a voice – that voice – call out behind me, "Well, well, if it isn't Mr. Super Pervert! How does it feel to have your little cult come crashing down around you?"

Unbidden, that last image from my dream came to me, and I froze, unable to say anything.

"Look at me when I'm talking to you!" Miyama cried, whirling me around to face those ... I mean, to face her. No, I was right the first time. To face those. She looked me up and down carefully, then said, "Just as I thought. Guilt written all over you." She shook her head. "You may think you've gotten a reprieve, but that won't last. Soon enough, you'll pay the full penalty for your sins!"

I've heard it said that if you're nervous about public speaking, just imagine your audience as naked, and the absurdity of it will help you relax. I don't know if it works with a crowd, but I am here to tell you it does not work with an individual. Because I could not help but imagine Miyama as naked, and that did not relax me one bit. I tried to object, but all I could do was open and close my mouth, with no sound coming out.

"What are you, some kind of human guppy? Well, head back to your filthy pond!" She shoved me to one side, then walked away.

Great. That will teach me not to gloat about my "victories." If I had been 3–0 vs. Miyama last week, I was now 0–2 (counting yesterday, which had clearly come from her), and heading for a complete shutout. How had my dream date with Sae turned into such a nightmare?

I was still moping about things as I made my way to the club room after class, fully expecting to see another sign saying our meeting was canceled, or worse, that the club was disbanded.

Instead, there was nothing. No signs, and no one in the room. I sat down, waiting for I don't know what. Oh well, it wasn't like I had anything else to do. Sure, there was studying for college entrance exams, but where did I even want to go now? If I stayed in Tokyo to try and see Sae, I'd probably get banned from the high school grounds for stalking. Maybe I should just cut loose, go to, I don't know, Italy? Egypt? Nepal? Antarctica?

A knock on the door interrupted my morose musings. Probably Kubo-sensei, come to tell me to clear out. "Yes?" I called out. "Who is it?"

The door opened, and three girls who looked sort of familiar entered. "Hello," one of them said. "Is this Aya-sama's club?"

"You can't call him Aya-sama!" another of them said, slapping her.

Oh, right, it's those weird girls in Aburatsubo's fan club. "Yes, this is the Magic Users' Club, if that's what you mean," I replied. "But he's not here right now."

"We're here to join the club," the second girl declared. Her name, I vaguely recalled, was Michiko something.

"You are?"

"Yes, we heard that now that Aya-sa–, er, Mr. Aburatsubo is president of this club, he's dropped all his other ones," the first one, who I believe was named Madoka, said. "So this will be our only chance to see him."

"Do we get to wear sexy outfits, too?" the third one, who I think was Hikaru or something like that, asked. "I saw what the other girls in your club were wearing, and, um, I think I'd like that. Especially if Mr. Aburatsubo likes it, too."

"Uhhhh ..." I replied. Intellectually, I knew that, being in our school, the three of them couldn't be any younger than, say, Aikawa, but they all seemed like they were maybe 8 years old. The idea of them in anything "sexy" ... I decided to temporize. "Those are performance uniforms," I said. "Don't worry about them now. You have to reach a certain skill level before they're relevant."

"Really?" Michiko said. "Because I've seen that Sawanoguchi girl, and she has no skill at all!"

"That's not true!" I cried. "Sae has the most innate talent of any of us! She's –"

My passionate defense was interrupted by another knock on the door. "That's where you went!" someone said. "Trying to leave us behind!"

Another dozen girls crowded in, evidently the rest of Aburatsubo's fans. "When is Aya-sama coming?" one of them asked.

"Who said that?" Michiko asked. "You're not allowed to call him that!"

Before that could get going, though, a couple of guys that I recognized from the Manga Club forced their way in. "Is Takakura in here – ah, there you are!" Matsuda said. "We need to talk." He and Tamura started pushing through the crowd while my heart sank. Oh, great, I thought. No doubt Miyama sent them to announce we're getting kicked out.

But when they got to me, Matsuda asked in a low voice, so the Aburatsubo fans couldn't hear, "Is it true, what they're saying? That you've got some way of making girls do whatever you want?"

"Yeah," Tamura chimed in. "Is that why all these girls are here now? Do you have them hypnotized or something?"

"What?" I said. "No, no, that sort of thing is completely inappropriate!"

"Yeah, sure, it's inappropriate," Tamura said. "But can you teach it to us anyway?"

And before I could answer that one, more voices called out, "There you are!" And another crowd attempted to squeeze in – a crowd which, I noticed, included Rinpun and Kojin.

Somehow, despite the crush of people making it seemingly impossible to move, these last two suddenly materialized right in front of me.

"Don't hurt us!" Rinpun said.

"We're here to apologize!" Kojin added.

"I'm not going to hurt anybody," I said. "And, sure, I accept your apology. Provided you stop trying to spy on Sae and me!"

"Of course, of course!" they replied in unison.

Rinpun added, "But we wanted to know – how great is your, uh, power? Can you use it on anyone? Even on (gulp) Miyama-sensei?"

"Yes, is that why Miyama-sensei is so, uh, obsessed with you?" Kojin asked. "Because you're the only one who can control her?"

"Teach us how to do it!" the two of them finished up, again in unison.

I sighed. "Look, I–"

Suddenly there was a shout at the door. "All right, come on, everyone out! We've got work to do!"

I was relieved to see it was Aburatsubo, along with the other three (actual) club members. "Aburatsubo, thank goodness you're here!"

He laughed. "You don't know how long I've waited to hear you say that, Takeo-kun. But we need to get these recruits organized so they can help us move."

"Move?" Rats, we were getting expelled after all.

"Yes, we did a little recruiting, and our current membership is 57, while the Manga Club's has dwindled to three."

"One!" Rinpun cried.

"We decided to quit, too," Kojin added.

"All right. Anyway, I talked with Kubo-sensei, and he agreed we should swap rooms. So we'll need to exchange all our equipment and supplies."

I watched in astonishment as the horde of newbies quickly moved our few items into the cavernous (so it seemed) former space of the Manga Club, and crammed as many of the Manga Club's files and drawing supplies as they could into our tiny room. Most of the furniture wouldn't fit, but Aburatsubo said there wasn't any point in having anything more than a single drawing table and chair in there.

Just as our work crew was finishing up, I heard a scream from behind. "What do you think you're doing!?" Miyama (of course) cried.

"Sorry, but we've had a surge in membership," Aburatsubo replied calmly. "So Kubo-sensei agreed to a room swap. Don't worry, your new space will be quieter and more conducive to concentration. It really will be better for you overall."

Miyama was purple with rage, but rather than reply to Aburatsubo, she turned to me and pointed a finger right between my eyes. "You engineered this, didn't you! Well, it won't stand! I won't stand for it! Matsuda! Tamura! Yamazaki! Rinpun! Kojin! Come! We must undo this tragedy!"

The (now former) Manga Club members just stood there, looking at her. When she realized no one was obeying her, a look of fear flashed across her face. "You– you really are controlling them, aren't you?" she said to me. "This– this black magic, it's all true! You devil!" She lifted a hand as if to slap me, but then let it drop, tears filling her eyes. She whirled around on her heels and stormed out without another word.

I could hear the whispers starting up around me: "Did you see that? He really can control her!" "He didn't even have to say a word!" "I've never seen anyone stop Miyama-sensei like that before!" "Do you think Aburatsubo-senpai could control me like that? I'd love to be controlled by him! I'd do whatever he wanted!"

And so, completely unexpectedly, and through no action on my part, I had won. But it didn't feel like it. I guess if some people are sore losers, then I'm a sore winner. All I could think of was the look of defeat and despair on Miyama's face – a look just like I had had earlier that day. And despite everything she had done to me in the past, I didn't want her, or anyone, to feel that way.

Not that there was anything I could do about it. If I tried to apologize or somehow commiserate with her, she'd assume I was taunting her. And I could hardly let her win, if that meant losing my club and everything I had fought for.

Besides, I had a more immediate concern. Namely, what the heck were we going to do with all of these people? Would we really teach them magic? Despite a couple, well, a few, ok, a lot of problems, our current members are generally responsible in how they use magic. But this crop – half of them wanted to enslave girls, and half of them – well, I'm not sure, but suspect they either wanted to enslave boys, or be enslaved by them (or at least by a certain one). How were we supposed to handle that?

Then I realized, hey, it's not my problem! Aburatsubo and Nakatomi were the ones in charge now, not me. They brought the new recruits in, so they could figure out a way to deal with them.

And they did – by having me do it. After going through the usual signup formalities, Aburatsubo said, "Now our emeritus president will tell you a little about our club and our expectations for you. Takeo-kun?"

Gee, thanks, I thought. I stood up, having no idea what to say, but at that moment, Sae, who was sitting next to me, put her hand on mine and smiled up at me. "You can do it," she seemed to be telling me. That's right, I thought, with Sae's love I could do anything! Or no, it was with my love that Sae could do anything, but close enough.

I saw one of our candles sitting nearby and had an idea. I set it up in front of me and began, "Welcome to the world of magic! Magic can amuse" – I took my wand, muttered "accende!" and the candle ignited – "amaze" – I swept the wand upward, and the candle flame flared up, then separated into two miniature fire dragons – "and even astonish" – I swirled the wand around, and the two dragons began flying around in a circle, spitting little bursts of flame at each other.

There was applause, whereupon I waved the wand downward, extinguishing everything. "But most of all," I said, "magic is to assist –"

As if on cue, Madoka, one of the Aburatsubo girls, was so startled by the flames suddenly going out that she dropped this cup she had been holding – I think it was Miyama's fine china teacup that hadn't made the move. Fortunately, I had been looking in that direction, so I quickly pointed the wand, said "vola!" and it floated gently to the ground unharmed.

More applause. Ha, I have them now! I thought. Time to deliver the bitter after the sweet. "That's what magic is for. What it's not, is something to take advantage of others, to control them or –"

"But it can still do that, right?" a voice called out.

I shook my head. "Magic might control a body, but not a heart. You'll still –"

"That's ok, it's the body I'm after, not the heart."

There was some snickering at that. "Ahem. Magic is also like other disciplines, in that it takes training. Don't expect to master it at once. It will require a lot of hard work and practice to get to the point where you can do things like I demonstrated. Just ask the other club members – it wasn't easy, was it?"

"No, it wasn't," Sae agreed. "When I first started out, my butt would get so sore!" She turned bright red when she realized what she had said, and hastily added, "Wait, I just meant when we were practicing riding on hard things – I mean, balancing on –"

But it was too late. Hooting and laughter took over, and only through much effort was I able to get people to settle down somewhat. "Anyway," I concluded, "the road to magic is not easy, but for those with the right attitude and dedication, it can be rewarding. Welcome to the journey."

Afterward, Aburatsubo said we needed an "executive committee" meeting of the original members. We ended up heading to the same cafe I had met with Ryoko at the day before. Sae was still upset from her minor gaffe, so I took her hand to, you know, reassure her. She looked up at me questioningly, and I smiled and said, "It'll be fine, Sae."

Aikawa saw the two of us, and also Nakatomi and Aburatsubo standing sort of together, and declared, "I'm feeling like the fifth wheel now. If you don't mind, I think I'll bow out. I'm not really executive material anyway."

So the remaining four of us convened in the cafe, where I somehow was the one to buy slices of monburan cake for everyone. Well, at least I still had some of the money Dad had given me to pay for it.

Not that me buying her cake mollified Nakatomi any. "You two really screwed things up," she began. "We had it all figured out. First, we'd take advantage of the rumors to recruit a whole crowd of people. Next, we'd use that to get space from the Manga Club. Then, you'd bore them all with one of your usual speeches, so they'd leave again, but in the meantime, we'd use the extra space as leverage to get a better deal out of Miyama. But you managed to wreck all of that."

"Sorry for not being boring," I said, feeling rather miffed. "Perhaps if you had told me that was the plan beforehand –"

"My mistake. Usually, when you're unprepared, you tend to ramble on, so I thought that would work best. But somehow, you got inspired, and then the two of you together – I don't know, all this sexual innuendo makes me wonder what really is going on between you."

"What? No, no, Sae misspoke is all. We've only just started dating. Not that it should really be anyone else's concern."

"Of course, of course. I was mostly kidding. I know how innocent you two are. Or Sae is, at least. You, I'm not so sure about."

"Ahem," Aburatsubo interrupted, clearly uncomfortable about any discussion of Sae's and my relationship. "None of that is relevant to the issue at hand. Namely, what are we going to do about our situation?"

"Never fear, Ryoko is here!" a familiar voice called out cheerily. The bearer of the voice pulled up a chair and plopped down next to me. "I got your solution right here!" she declared, setting a brown bag down in front of me.

"Huh? What is –" I began.

"Hey, is that monburan?" she asked, pointing to my plate. "Can I have a piece, too?"

I sighed and went up to the counter and asked. "You may as well just take the rest of the cake," the guy said with a laugh. "Five pieces, that's the same price as a whole cake. Here you go!"

Ryoko's eyes lit up when I brought half a cake over. "All this, for me? I knew you cared!"

"Uh, actually ..."

"Nah, that's ok, I know you don't want me to get fat." She then proceeded to take a double piece for herself, not that I was keeping track or anything. "OK," she said between bites, "like I said, this is the solution to your little problem." She indicated the bag.

I looked inside, and there was a dark blue glass jar. I took it out and opened it, and it was filled with dozens of small blue tablets. "Uh ... What are these supposed to do?" I asked. "Are we going to drug the recruits to make them forget or something?"

"Recruits? What recruits? No, this is for your little Sae problem."

"My Sae problem?" It suddenly dawned on me what she meant. "Wait, I –"

But she plowed on, heedless of my attempts to stop her. "Yeah, take one beforehand, and it'll temporarily disable interpersonal magic effects. It only lasts an hour or two, but that should be plenty of time for you two to get it on."

"Get it on!?" Aburatsubo and Nakatomi shouted together, then dropped their voices when they saw other people staring.

Sae's face had turned bright red. "Did you really ask her about us d-doing it?" she asked in a small voice.

"Oops, was that supposed to be a surprise?" Ryoko asked. "Sorry, my bad."

"No, no, no, no, no!" I said. "I never asked anything about that! Ryoko came up with this entirely on her own!"

"But how did she know –" Sae began.

"Hey, I'mma smart one!" Ryoko declared. "I hear about your kissing adventures, I know what's coming next. But don't worry, this stuff'll cover you for whatever happens. From the magic side of things, I mean – you still need to use a condom, don't forget!"

Sae was purple at this point, so I quickly attempted to get us back on track. "Never mind all that. Our real issue now is that we have a bunch of new recruits who may want to get into magic for, let's say, questionable reasons. Reasons which are closely related to rumors started by a certain individual here."

"Namely me, is what you're saying." Ryoko shrugged. "If you wanna get rid of the guys who are just in it for pervy stuff, that's easy. Do like what I did with you and make the training tough enough that only the dedicated ones stick it out. Tell you what – I know you're too soft-hearted for that kinda thing, so I'll do it for you. Call me the guest trainer or something."

"You sure about this?"

"Of course. I mean, I still kinda owe you a little something to make up for this mess."

"I think we should try it," Aburatsubo said.

"Really?" I was surprised – he's usually rather skeptical (to say the least) of Ryoko.

"She's right, you know. You're simply too indulgent for any sustained discipline. Especially where anything female is concerned."

And before I quite realized what was up, it was decided. The other three worked out the details, leaving Sae and me rather awkwardly out of it. When we were finished, I hastily gathered up the leftovers and ran to catch up with Sae as she left the cafe.

"Could I walk you home?" I asked. "There's a couple of things I wanted to talk about."

She looked a little upset still, but mutely nodded.

"I'm really sorry. The last thing I wanted was for our personal issues to be exposed like this," I began. "Believe me, I didn't tell Ryoko anything beyond what I had to, to explain about us, you know, teleporting around. She came up with the rest herself."

"Oh, I believe you. I guess I'm, I don't know, still a little jealous of Ryoko."

"Jealous? Why would you be jealous of Ryoko? You know you're the only one for me."

"It's not that. It's just, she can be so free and easy talking about things that I, well, I can't."

I smiled at her. "Sae, don't worry about that. There's no rush for all of that. We'll be ready for it when we're ready."

"Thanks, that helps." She leaned against me, which, uh, inspired thoughts of those things that Sae couldn't talk about yet. "I really appreciate how patient you are with me. Even if Aburatsubo-senpai doesn't like it."

"Oh, he'll get over it. And he does understand about us. I mean, he was the one who convinced me to ask you out, after all."

"What? He did? You mean you didn't want to?" Sae seemed amused.

"Ha, ha, of course I wanted to, I was just a little nervous, as you might recall."

"You weren't the only one!" And we laughed, at the distant memories of what was only one week ago.

Which prompted me to add, "You see, Sae, how much progress we've made in just these few days? Now, we can walk like this" – and I held her hand – "and I can even say that I, uh, that is, I mean, I l-l–" I stopped and took a deep breath. "I ... love ... you. See, no problem at all!"

She blushed at the words, but replied in a low voice, "And I love you, too."

We stopped and looked at each other. It was the first time we had really, unambiguously, said that to each other. I figured it was time to go for the kiss, except a bunch of kids came running down the sidewalk at that moment, and we had to dodge or get run over.

Oh well, we were officially in love now, so for sure we'd have another chance. We walked along, talking about this and that, and again, it was pleasant. So this is what having a girlfriend was like, I thought. Again, not exactly my fantasy, but the fantasy stuff would come eventually, I was pretty sure.

Some of it came a little sooner than I expected. When we got to Sae's building, she hesitated a moment, then said, "Would you like to come in for a few minutes? Maybe have a cup of tea?"

My eyes grew wide. I had read enough stories of a certain type where an invitation like this led to, well, you can probably guess what it led to, even if you haven't read stories of that type. I doubted that would happen here, but, if so, I was ready, right? "Sure, I'd love to," I said.

So we went up and ... yes, of course, she fixed tea. I set the remnants of the cake on her table for us to have with it, then noticed there was something else in the bag – oh, yeah, those pills Ryoko had given us.

Sae came back with the tea just as I was pulling them out. "Um, are you making a suggestion?" she asked.

"Uh, not really, I had forgotten these were in here."

She looked at the bottle skeptically. "Do you think they're safe?"

I shrugged. "Ryoko may have her quirks, but I don't think she'd ever harm anyone in any way. Embarrass, maybe, but not harm."

"Well, if you say so ..."

"Here, I'll be the guinea pig." I took one of the pills and swallowed it with a sip of tea.

Sae was apprehensive. "How do you feel? Are you ok?"

"I'm fine," I replied. "Let's wait a few minutes and see if we need to call an ambulance."

So we sat there, sipping our tea, but nothing in particular happened, other than I began thinking more and more about just how cute Sae was. Which was really, really cute. Even in her ordinary everyday school outfit, without makeup or anything, she was extraordinarily beautiful. So beautiful that I –

"Are you still ok?" Sae asked.

"Huh? Yeah, I'm feeling great. More than great, in fact."

"Well, I guess I should take one, then. I mean, we're both supposed to take it, right?"

Wait, was she really thinking about doing it? Right now? "Uh, yeah, but are you sure? Right now?"

"Sure! We have to see if it works, after all. So we'll try kissing and thinking about, I don't know, the club room, and see what happens. OK?"

"Oh, kissing, right. That's what you meant. Yeah, it should work for that."

"Of course it should." And she took one.

We sat there for a little while longer, looking at each other. "How do we know when these are working?" Sae asked.

"I'm not sure," I said. "I think it's when –"

I'm afraid the next few minutes were a blur, so I'm not quite sure of the exact sequence of events.

I vaguely remember chairs being knocked over as we desperately lunged for each other and began kissing passionately. Sae pressed her body firmly against mine, and I, well, I responded. Somehow, we made it into her bedroom and collapsed on her bed, still kissing madly. Sae, um, stuck her tongue in my mouth as I ran my hands down her back and over her, um, ass. She started unbuttoning my shirt and slipped her hand inside to caress my chest. I in turn let my hands stray underneath her skirt, feeling the soft fabric of her panties and the firm, um, buttocks underneath. Through the haze of my lust, I dimly thought, this is it, we're going to do it, for real. Except, wait, what had I done with those condoms? Did I have any in my pockets still? Or no, I had put them in my schoolbag, I thought? I'd have to go check and –

"Tadaima! Sae, I'm home!"

Yikes! We broke out of our entanglement, sat up, and tried to get ourselves back together. While we were buttoning up and tucking in, Saki called out again, "Oh, is this cake for me? Sae, are you here?"

"Yes, sister, just a minute!" she replied.

When we were more or less decent, we emerged somewhat sheepishly. "Hi, we were just –" Sae began.

Saki raised an eyebrow. "Yes, I can see what you were just. Sorry to interrupt. Should I come back in an hour?"

"No, no, it's fine," Sae replied. Meanwhile I was trying, as unobtrusively as possible, to, uh, unpitch the expedition-sized tent in my pants.

Saki snickered when she noticed my predicament. "I must admit, I'm impressed, Sae. Just a couple of days after your first date, and you're already deep into makeout land."

"No, that's not true!" Sae said. "It's – well, ok, maybe it is a little bit true."

"Oh, don't worry, I think it's great. You two really do seem made for each other. Just name your first child after me, ok?"

Sae and I looked at each other with embarrassment, the compulsion which had been driving us having completely broken. "Uh, I guess I'll be heading home," I said.

"OK. See you tomorrow," she replied, her face as red as mine.

We stood there a second longer, then I quickly leaned in for one last kiss. While doing so, I noticed the bag with the jar of pills was still on the table, so I slipped it into my coat pocket as I gathered my things to go.

Wow, I thought, as I made my way home. That was ... something else. And totally unexpected. Obviously, it was the pills that were doing it – they were some kind of aphrodisiac or something – though at the same time, I could hardly deny that I really, really, really wanted to do it. I sure hoped Sae felt the same way! It would be pretty bad if tomorrow, she decided I had tricked her into what happened.

I was still musing this when I got home, which had the unfortunate effect of distracting me, so I just dumped my stuff without really paying attention.

The one who did pay attention was my mother. After I had retreated to my room to think about things, my coat apparently slipped off the hook I had tossed it on. Mom picked it up to hang it up properly when, so she says, she heard a strange rattling, searched through the pockets and found ...

"Would you mind explaining this?" she said, as she barged into my room and held up, you guessed it, the jar of pills. "At first I was afraid you were doing drugs, but then I looked at the label here, and saw there were little blue pills inside. Why are you taking Viagra?"

"Vi-Viagra? No, that's not what it is at all!"

"Oh really? Then why does it say, 'take shortly before sexual activity; lasts up to two hours'?"

"Uh, it does?" I admit I hadn't even looked at the label. "It's, uh, it's just a joke. Ryoko gave it to me as a joke, that's all."

"Ryoko? Who's Ryoko? I thought Sae was your girlfriend."

"No, no, Ryoko's not a girlfriend or anything. She's just this girl at another school that, uh, Sae and I know."

"Oh really? You seem to know a lot of girls who make sexual jokes with you."

I flailed around for a reply until inspiration struck me. "Yeah, it's just that everybody thinks Sae and I are pretty naive. Which maybe we are, but I don't mind. We'll take as long as we need. Sae's worth it."

"Oh, I see. That's – that's admirable." She paused for a moment, then said, "But then what exactly are these pills?"

"These?" I got hold of the jar and took one out. "They're like candy, is all." I popped it in my mouth and chewed. It was a little bitter, but I managed a smile and said, "Want one?"

"No thanks." She smiled. "I should have realized you weren't really up to anything nefarious. But you are going to have to invite Sae over for dinner sometime. We'd really like to meet this special girl."

"Um, yeah, sure, fine."

I sank down onto my bed after she left. Sheesh, did anyone else in history ever have this much trouble with just a single date? Well, ok, I suppose Romeo and Juliet had it worse. At least our families weren't at war with each other.

I looked at the jar in some detail. What were these things, anyway? All it had written on it were the directions Mom had found. The pills were round and featureless. I was pretty sure they weren't Viagra – that stuff was super-expensive, from what I heard, so I doubted Ryoko would be dumping a hundred of them on me for free. Besides, Viagra wasn't an aphrodisiac, it just helped with, uh, physical issues.

A sudden feeling of dread struck me. Viagra wasn't an aphrodisiac, but this stuff apparently was. And I had just taken a second one. Was I now going to start groping, I don't know, my sister? Yuck!

I came to the dinner table with some trepidation, but nothing in particular happened, even though Takako, aware that there was something up, kept needling and poking me. So that was a relief, at least.

The next morning, I spotted Ryoko on my way into school. "Hey, wait up!" I called out to her. I caught up to her and asked, "What the heck is in those pills you gave me?"

"I don't remember exactly," she replied. "There's herbs and stuff. Plus some spell to activate it. Why? Did you try 'em?"

"Yeah, and, uh, things got a little out of hand. Or more like a lot out of hand. Or more like in hand – our hands definitely were involved."

"Oooh. Hope you remembered the condom."

"No, no, it didn't go that far. But it was those pills, wasn't it? They're some kind of aphrodisiac?"

"Nah, there's no such thing. Magic can't work on your feelings that way, you know that." She thought for a moment. "Though my dad did mention that they work by redirecting your magical energy into yourself. So I guess that kinda, ya know, broke down your inhibitions."

"Our inhibitions?"

"Well, yeah, I mean, look at you two. You guys are clearly crazy about each other. So all these did is push you over the edge."

"Oh. So is this going to happen all the time? Not that I mind, but Sae could be a little, uh, apprehensive."

"Nah, you'll get used to it pretty quick. And eventually you won't need the pills at all, from what my dad said – you'll figure out how to control yourselves, sorry to say." She slapped me on the back. "Anyway, I'm glad I was able to bring you a good time like that. See ya later!"

Just as I was digesting this information, I saw Sae and Nakatomi – no, that sounds awkward, I'll just say Sae and Nanaka – walking along together. When Sae saw me, she turned bright red. Uh-oh, if she was that embarrassed still by what happened ...

I jogged over to them and said, "Sae could I talk to you for a moment?" She still looked distressed, but nodded mutely. I separated her from a very suspicious Nanaka as best I could, and quickly (and quietly) relayed Ryoko's explanation.

Sae considered the news. "So you're saying I was just doing what I secretly wanted to?" she said in a low voice.

"Uh, well, I, uh, I don't know if I'd quite put it that way ..."

"Maybe not, but it's still true. Sigh. A girl isn't supposed to admit that sort of thing so easily."

I smiled. "Don't worry, I'm not about to tell anyone."

"But you're the one I'm not supposed to admit it to!"

"Oh."

Nanaka (now that I've started, I'll stick with this) chose that moment to interrupt. "All right, you two. It's pretty clear something embarrassing happened between you. I don't need to know the details, just so long as it doesn't happen again, ok?"

Sae and I looked at each other. "Ummm ..." we began.

Nanaka shook her head. "I see. It's like that." She sighed. "I suppose it was inevitable. Fine. Just name the first one after me, ok? No, wait, on second thought, don't. I'd rather not take the blame."

Nanaka's sour note notwithstanding, I was feeling pretty good at school that day. Maybe Sae wasn't supposed to admit it, but the revelation that she had wanted the makeout session almost as much as I did was about as exciting as it gets. Hmm, perhaps tonight we could try again, under more secure circumstances, and ...

I was walking down the hallway thinking those pleasant thoughts, when, right on schedule, I heard a distinctly unpleasant voice:

"There you are!"

Don't turn around! I reminded myself. Staring straight ahead, I said, "Good morning, Miyama-san. I hope you are doing well."

"Oh, do you now? Well, as it happens I am doing quite well. And will be even better this afternoon."

"This afternoon?"

"Yes, and I hope you will be ready for it."

"Huh? What?"

"Oh, you'll see. Let's just say those supposed talents of yours will be put to the test."

Talents? I both did and didn't want to know what she meant. I decided to stick with "didn't," and said nothing.

That proved to be the right choice, or at least the one which frustrated Miyama. After waiting in vain for me to respond, she finally repeated, "I hope you will be ready for it!" then stormed off.

That was weird. It didn't sound like she was trying to shut down our club again. But what exactly was she going to make me do?

I was still mulling this when I entered our (new) club room after school. After everyone had made their way in, Aburatsubo and Nakatomi (see, that combo sounds fine) stepped to the front. Aburatsubo began, "Good afternoon, new recruits! Today your training begins in earnest! And for that, we have a special treat. Nanaka?"

Nanaka? Huh, had the two of them been making progress, too? That didn't seem likely, but what did I know? Before I could think too much about this, though, Nakatomi said, "We've imported a trainer from Minami Aoba to whip you into shape. She brought us all up to a new level, and, if you can stick it out, she'll do the same for you. Allow me to present Ryoko Ryugasaki!" She nodded to the doorway. "Ryoko?"

In stepped Ryoko, wearing, of all things, a sort of cute coach's outfit – a pink and lime green tracksuit, a ballcap with a House of Spirits logo, and a large whistle hanging around her neck.

One thing I forgot to mention about Ryoko is that she's short, really, really short. I don't think she even measures 150 cm. I tend not to think about this most of the time, as she's so outspoken that she seems larger than she is. But somehow, in this outfit, she looked like a cute kid playing dress-up.

So her appearance brought about giggling and derisive hoots of laughter. Though mixed in with this were Rinpun and Kojin exclaiming, "AAAHHH! It's her! The demon girl!" This silenced some of them, but simply led to more laughter from others.

Finally, when the noise was reaching its peak, Ryoko pulled out her whistle and blew it. Instant silence. And by that, I mean total and complete silence – no residual gasps or snickers or anything. Having been subjected to it before, I realized at once what was up – Ryoko had used magic to control the crowd.

Which was rather impressive. While I've studied it of course, I find the magic to control people rather distasteful – outside of a dire need, I never want to control anyone like that. The one fortunate thing about it is that it tends to be pretty limited. Usually, you can only force one person into one simple action, and that's it. Like in that contest with Ryoko, I made her kneel down, sure, but she's the one who decided to waggle her butt in the air. Control only goes so far.

OK, Ryoko actually did make me put my arms around her and, uh, kiss her and all that, but that's because she took me by surprise. And maybe, if I'm honest, I didn't really mind that much at the moment. Just don't tell Sae, ok?

But anyway, forcing 40-some people into silence like that? Obviously, the whistle was enchanted in some way, but even so it was quite a feat. It looked like Ryoko could handle the training after all.

"All right, you maggots, listen up!" she said. "You wanna do magic, you gotta work for it. All of these guys did" – waving to us original members – "and now you're gonna do it too. Let's go!" She blew the whistle again, and the entire group stood up at once, filed out of the room, and jogged down the hallway and out to the fields.

Sae and I watched them go with incredulity. (Ryoko's spell didn't affect any of us original members.) "That was amazing," Sae said. "I didn't even know that sort of thing was possible."

"I just hope it doesn't backfire," I replied. "It'd be bad if they go and complain to the administration afterward." We watched them through the window, until I realized that Sae and I were alone now – Aburatsubo and Nakatomi went off to watch the new recruits, while of course Aikawa had been a no-show.

"Hey," I said, "it looks like they don't need us for this, so how about you and I –"

"There you are!" an all-too-familiar voice called out behind me. "Well, I'm ready now. Are you?"

Involuntarily, I turned to face the inevitable. "Ready for what, Miyama-san? We were waiting until our membership levels stabilize before we renegotiate the division of club space, if that's what you mean."

"Oh, no, don't bother. I've decided to join your club, too."

"Y-you? Join the Magic Club?"

"Yes, well, you know what they say. If you can't beat them, join them."

"Seriously?" This was not at all what I had expected. Was she really giving up this thoroughly? "Well, ok, if that's what you want. I suggest you go follow our new recruits for their initial training session."

"Oh, no, I deserve better than that. I demand club president privilege."

"'Club president privilege'? What on earth is that?"

"As a (former) club president, I can't be lumped in with the rest of them like that. I need personal instruction from someone at my same level – which would be you, fellow (former) club president."

"F-from me?"

"Yes, assuming you can manage it. Assuming you're not some big fake, who can't do any of the things he claims. Because if your club is just some sort of hoax, well, then ..."

Ah. Finally I understood Miyama's plan. No doubt figuring (with ample justification, I have to admit) that I'd freeze up and be completely helpless in trying to teach her anything, she'd go back to the administration and use my uselessness to get our club shut down.

Clever, but she hadn't counted on my secret weapon. Which was what, exactly? Oh, right, my love for Sae. Or Sae's love for me, whatever.

"Fine," I said. "Follow us, and we'll teach you a thing or two."

That was my bold declaration, but as we headed outside, I realized there was a second problem in teaching Miyama magic. Yes, the other recruits may have had bad motives, but at least they only had designs on their fellow students. With Miyama, I had no idea what she'd do with powerful magic, but I was pretty sure all of Tokyo – heck, all of Japan, maybe even all of the world – would feel the effects. What could I demonstrate that would be impressive, but relatively harmless?

I finally decided on levitation. She couldn't do anything that bad with it, unless it turned out she had Sae levels of power and could, I don't know, rip buildings off their foundations or fling cars into outer space. And if she did have Sae levels of power, then God help us all, no matter what we taught her.

When we got outside, Ryoko was having the recruits do calisthenics at one end of the soccer field, so we went off to the other end. The last couple of days had been relatively moderate, temperature-wise, but a cold front was moving in, adding another aspect of unpleasantness to an already unpleasant task.

"All right, Miyama-san, we're going to begin with one of the most classical illusions in magic, that of levitation." I figured I should still try to phrase things as "illusions," in the hope that she wouldn't realize what was really happening.

"Levitation, is it?" she said. "So I assume you have hidden wires around here or something. Clever. Are they attached to that tree over there?"

"Let's not worry about the details just yet." Though the details were exactly what I was worried about. I had used the levitation spell on small objects without issues before, but never on a human. Still, same thing, right? I tried to concentrate, not an easy task with a chill wind blowing and Miyama looming over me. I blocked those distractions as best I could, gripped my wand and intoned:

"Leviora feate, leviora feate, surge! Ite!"

Nothing happened. Huh? Oh, right, it was "fiate," not "feate."

I was about to begin the spell again, when Miyama sneered, "Lame, lame, lame. Just like I thought. You're as fake as a ... a, well, something really fake."

"No, no, this is just to, uh, add to the drama. Make it seem harder than it is."

"Yeah, right."

"No, really, here goes, for real: Leviora fiate, leviora fiate, surge –"

At that moment, a gust of wind blew in and, uh, yeah, unfortunately managed to swoop underneath Miyama's skirt and, uh, lifted it way, way, high up, Marilyn Monroe-style. Which fully exposed her, um, panties.

I can't think of any way to say this next part without appearing perverted. But what the heck, I imagine you think I'm plenty perverted already.

I have seen several girls in their underwear, and it's always been memorable. For example, if you've read the manga, you know about that time with "Celery-chan" where we ended up in Aikawa's dressing room while she was in the midst of changing, and I nearly died from blood loss. And then there's one particularly nice case later in this chapter, with, uh, may as well admit it, with Sae, if you were in need of an incentive to keep reading. There may also have been one or two incidents other times with other girls, which may show up in the story at some point, but it's not going to help my reputation any to mention them now, so I think I'll leave them out.

But nothing I saw those other times could compare with this. And I don't mean that in a positive way. Aikawa and Sae – no, that sort of thing still sounds weird, I'll just say Akane and Sae – both wore nice, pretty, tasteful underwear. Miyama (no way I'm calling her Mizuha) was different. "Memorable" is too weak a word to describe it; the picture is burned into my mind in a way which is impossible to erase, try as I might.

She was wearing the thongiest thong I've ever seen and ever hope to see, bright red, pulled so tight that the outline of her, uh, uh, you know, that stuff down there, the, uh, let's be sophisticated and use Latin, the labia majora, yeah, that, their outline was clearly visible. The fabric of the thong was cut so far in that little bits of her, uh, let's do Latin again, her capilli pubis, were sticking out here and there. Sexy? Attractive? No, not at all, but the two seconds I saw all that were more than enough to render it utterly unforgettable.

Two seconds was how long it took for Miyama to realize what had happened, scream, and push her skirt back down. "You pervert!" she shouted. "You're disgusting! You're nothing but a five-year-old boy, flipping up skirts!"

"No, no, that wasn't the spell! That was just the wind! I'd never do anything like that!"

"A likely story! Your perverted little club has been running free long enough! I'm going to see to it that your whole squalid scheme is shut down! Permanently!"

I was about to object when I felt Sae's warm hand grasp mine. "You can do this," she said, echoing words I've often told her. "Show her the real spell. I know you can." She gave my hand a little squeeze and smiled. "I know you can," she repeated.

She's right, I thought. With Sae, I could do anything! And seeing the spell in action was the only thing that could silence Miyama once and for all. So, over top of Miyama's continued ranting, I pointed my wand and yelled, "LEVIORA FIATE, LEVIORA FIATE, SURGE! ITE!"

And Miyama ... wasn't. Wasn't shouting, wasn't levitating, wasn't having her skirt blown up, wasn't anything. Most of all, she wasn't there. She had vanished into thin, or at least cold, air.

"Was that supposed to happen?" Sae asked, confused.

"Uh, no, she was just supposed to float up in the air a few feet."

"Is she ... was she ... does she still, um, exist?"

"Yes, of course, of course, she's only ... uh ..." Right, she's only ... what, exactly? Disintegrated? If doing perverted things to a fellow student was enough to shut down a club, I was pretty sure murdering one would be a lot worse. No, wait, there was no way I had disintegrated her. Clearly, my magic had been boosted by Sae's, and had gone off in an unexpected direction. But Sae's magic would never do anything harmful like that. I must have teleported Miyama instead of levitating her. So it was just a matter of figuring out where she went.

I cast about for a way to do that, when I remembered the object visualization spell. It's a spell that shows you the immediate vicinity of an object; if you get a good enough fix on it, you can even use it to transport you to where that object is. That's how we had ended up in Aikawa's dressing room that one time – we had been looking for Sae's missing wand, which it turned out that "Celery-chan" had swiped. Now, this spell only works with objects and not people, but all I had to do was focus on an object associated with Miyama, and that should bring us to her. Her glasses, perhaps or –

Damn. All I could think of were those cursed red thong panties. Try as I might, I could not get them out of my mind. It'd have to be them, as there was no way I could focus sufficiently well on anything else. And the worst of it was, I couldn't keep silent about it. Sae and I would have to work the spell together, so I'd have to tell her which item to concentrate on. Sigh.

"I must have somehow teleported her somewhere," I said. "I'm not quite sure where, but we can use that object visualization spell to take us to there, and then bring her back. OK?"

"OK, sure. How do we do that?"

"We just need to choose an object associated with her, and use the spell on it. So, for example, we could choose her, um, that is, the uh, you know, her –"

"You're thinking about her panties, aren't you?"

My face turned as red as the panties had been. "Look, I'm really, really, sorry. It's not that I'm, you know, that I thought they were, uh –"

Sae smiled. "Oh, don't worry. I'm not blaming you. They were pretty striking, after all. I can't stop thinking of them either. Just so long as you don't expect me to wear ones like that."

"What? No, no, of course not!"

I traced a simple magic circle in the ground, then we took out our wands together and repeated:

"Kushushu kasukes! Igomas tez kasukes! Towindour tez kasukes!"

There was a brief flickering and an expanse of white sand appeared in the circle along with a few shadowy figures, but it rapidly faded into nothingness.

"That's odd," I said. "It's like ... it's like she's too far away for the spell to work. Hmm, let me try something else."

There's a very simple spell to locate an object, where you use your wand like a dowsing rod. I tried that, but only felt a very slight tug, directing me to somewhere off to the east. "Weird. She's definitely out there, somewhere, but I'm only getting the faintest of signals."

Sae looked worried. "Um, I think I know what might have happened."

"You do? What could it be?"

"Well, when the wind blew like that, I started thinking about how cold it was, and I remembered when we went to Waikiki last week, and ..."

"Oh, I see. So we teleported her to Hawaii?"

"That's what I think. I don't know how, but I think that's it. What are we going to do now?"

"Well, we're just going to have to go there and bring her back."

"Go there? You mean, like we did last time?"

"Yes, provided you don't mind kissing me again."

"I don't mind that, but is it going to work again?"

I put my arms around her and pulled her in to me. "Of course it will. Because my beautiful Sae is the greatest magician ever. And she's going to prove it right now." And with that, I kissed her warmly. Her eyes grew wide, and I could feel that familiar warmth rising up around us. I wasn't sure how much I actually contributed to the spell, but I thought I should do what I could, so I emptied my mind of everything except the warmth of our kiss and the memory of that Waikiki beach. When I judged we were fully into it, I pulled back and whispered, "OK, now, sweetie, here we go," and we took one, two, three steps while still in each other's arms, until we stepped right out –

And emerged from between two palm trees, out onto a familiar beach. There, we saw Miyama arguing with a small crowd of people standing at a tiki bar. It was early evening, not nearly as late as our previous trip, and the beach was far more populated than before.

"Who are you people? You're all in on this, aren't you! Where is that idiot Takeo?! Take me to him at once!" she yelled at them.

"What is she saying? Is that Korean?" somebody asked.

"No, I think it's Japanese. Anyone speak Japanese?" somebody replied.

"Sorry, all I know is 'konnichiwa.' But what is it with her, anyway? Why is she wearing a winter coat? Is she nuts?"

Miyama picked one word out of that. "'Natsu'? Yes, it does seem like summer all of a sudden. What's going on here?"

I knew I had to intervene. I strode over to the group and, marshalling what English I could, said, "Excuse us! Our friend here is a little confused. We're sorry!"

Miyama whirled around at the sound of my voice. "You!" she said. "What is all this? What did you do to me!?"

"Ah, yes, this is the, uh, tropical fantasy illusion. Very convincing, wouldn't you say?"

"Illusion? You mean this isn't real? How did you do this?"

"It's a little too advanced to explain," I said. "Let's not worry about the details for now, and just live the experience." I got her away from the crowd, and back over by the group of palm trees where Sae was waiting.

"I thought you were going to do levitation," Miyama said. "Why this illusion instead?"

"Well, uh, we were feeling sorry for you, what with what happened with the wind and all, so we thought we'd make it up for you with something more pleasant. I mean, this is quite nice, isn't it?"

"It's amazing! It seems so real! You're going to have to teach me how to do this."

"Ah ha ha, I'm afraid it takes years of practice to get to this point. I mean, Sae and I just mastered this recently, right Sae?"

"Oh, yes, last Friday was our first time," Sae replied. "I was a little worried, but it turned out to be very nice."

Miyama had an odd look on her face. "First time? Somehow, it sounds like you are talking about sex rather than an illusion."

"What? No, no! It wasn't our first time for sex! That is, I mean, we did sleep together, but it wasn't sex, it was just, no, wait –"

"It's ok, Sae," I said. "Miyama doesn't need to know about that. Let's just go for a walk and enjoy the illusion."

We strolled along the beach, watching the waves roll in, feeling the warm breeze. "I think this is our best illusion yet, right, Sae?"

Sae smiled, having caught on to what I was doing. "Oh, yes, it really does seem like we're in Hawaii!"

"So where are we, really?" Miyama asked. "Are we still out in that field freezing our buns off? We're not going to get frostbite while thinking we're on a Hawaiian beach, are we?"

"No, no, we, uh, we never left the club room," I said. "We're perfectly safe. But I think now we should be ending this illusion and head back, don't you agree, Sae?"

"Um, ok, sure. Let's – oh, wait, I can't do that! Not in front of –" and she nodded to Miyama.

Hmm, Sae had a point. While I'm willing to kiss her anytime and anywhere, doing it in front of Miyama was not exactly the sort of romantic setting we needed. I looked around, and noticed there were some empty burlap bags near the tiki bar, with "COCONUT" written on them in English letters. I had us circle back to the bar and asked the bartender, "Is it ok if I use this?" pointing to one of the bags.

"Huh? Sure, go ahead."

I brought the bag back to the other two. "All right, now, Miyama-san, for this trick I'm afraid we're going to need to blindfold you briefly –"

"What? You're putting that thing on my head? What are you trying –"

I got the bag over her head before she could object any further, grabbed one of her hands, and motioned for Sae to grab the other. Then, with my free arm, I pulled Sae toward me, whispered in her ear, "Just remember that I love you, Sae. Now let's get back to the club room," and kissed her, hard.

Sae was startled at first, but quickly got into it. The warm glow rose around us, even as Miyama continued to flail around.

"I don't understand. What's happening?" she demanded. "It sounds like you two are making out!"

"No, we're making our way back," I replied. And with Miyama in tow, Sae and I stepped through the trees –

And into the club room. Which, however, was not empty, but filled with the entire batch of recruits – apparently, their calisthenics session was over.

"What the – where did you come from?" someone called out.

"Is that Miyama-san?" Tamura asked. "Why does she have a bag over her head?"

We let go of Miyama and helped her remove the bag. She blinked at the bright overhead lights, shook herself, then finally said, "That – that was amazing! I've never experienced anything like it! We have to do that again! So warm and nice – I felt like I was in heaven!"

"What's she talking about?" one of the Aburatsubo fan club members asked. "It sounds like sex to me."

"Definitely sex," one of the other ones said. "I've read a lot about it, and it's definitely sex."

"Wow, I hope I get to do that with Aya-sama. It sounds divine!"

"Don't call him Aya-sama!" Michiko exclaimed.

"Guys, quit it!" I said. "Miyama-san is simply referring to the tropical fantasy illusion, that's all."

"Mmm, my tropical fantasy definitely involves Aya-sama," the first fan club girl said.

"I told you, don't call him Aya-sama!" Michiko demanded.

It took some work, but we finally got everyone settled down. Ryoko said, "That was a decent start, guys, but we're gonna have to work even harder tomorrow. And don't forget your homework! Class dismissed!"

There was grumbling as the group left, though it was interspersed with someone saying, "If I can have sex like that, all this will be worth it!"

Finally, we were left with the "executive committee" plus Ryoko – and also Miyama, who managed to corner me despite my best efforts. "I don't care how hard it is, you're going to have to teach me that," she said. "You can't keep anything that wonderful as a secret to yourself. Either that, or agree to take me there whenever I want. And I'm going to want it a lot. Understood?" And she jabbed me in the chest for emphasis.

"That's – that's not something I can promise," I said. "It's not something I can do by myself – Sae and I have to do it together. And we can't do it too often – it takes a lot of effort."

"Oh, really? I think you're just using that as an excuse to make out with her. You better learn how to do it yourself pretty quick. I don't feel like dragging along a third wheel on this."

"Sae isn't a third wheel – she and I are a team!"

"We shall see about that. Just make sure you're ready for next time!" And with that, she pinched my cheek, then turned and left.

After she was gone, Nakatomi said to me, "Why does it seem you're always talking about sex? I don't know what you two got up to with Miyama, but it sure isn't helping any."

"No, no, it's not like that!" I quickly ran through our escapade. "So it was a little unfortunate what happened, but I think we have her convinced it was all an illusion," I concluded.

"Uh-huh," Nakatomi said. "An illusion she apparently liked a lot."

"Now I'm really jealous," Ryoko said. "That's the second girl you've taken to Hawaii on a kiss. When are you gonna take me?"

"No, no, I didn't kiss Miyama! It was Sae and me, like before."

"Sure, sure, but you could still take me to Hawaii."

"All right, fine, we'll take everybody to Hawaii when this is all over."

We had a brief postmortem on the day's session – according to the others, Ryoko's rigorous training had been doing the trick in terms of discouraging the ones with questionable motives, until Miyama's apparent "return from heaven" gave them new hope – and then split up and left.

Again, to my surprise, Nakatomi and Aburatsubo went off together, while Ryoko's dad showed up to drive her off to some House of Spirits event. That left Sae and me to walk home together, which I of course was more than happy to do.

"So that's twice to Hawaii with you now," I said. "Though both times were pretty brief. I hope we can stay longer next time."

She smiled. "Are you sure you can afford it? Even if we don't have to pay for airfare, Hawaii is pretty expensive."

"I suppose you're right. But at least for our honeymoon, then."

"H-honeymoon? You mean you want to – to – with me ..."

I suddenly realized what I had done. "I said that out loud, didn't I?"

"Yes, you did."

"Oops. At least we're even now."

"Even?"

"We've both admitted things that the other isn't supposed to know yet." I stopped walking and turned to face her. "But that's ok. I think we're not destined to keep secrets from each other."

"Oh. So no surprise birthday parties for us?"

I laughed. "If that's the worst of our problems, we should be fine."

"Speaking of problems, what are we going to do about Miyama-san?"

I shrugged. "I'm open to suggestions. My plan had been to bore her enough that she'd leave on her own, but it seems we were just too exciting."

"Oh. Which is my fault, isn't it? I'm sorry! I'm always messing things up! I'm nothing but a nuisance for you!"

"What? No, no, not at all!" I held her hands and smiled at her. "Sae, in the last few days, you've taken us, what, over 25,000 kilometers by magic? That's more than halfway around the world. Nobody else has ever done anything like that! You're not a nuisance, you're – you're the best thing that ever happened to me!"

Clearly, that was the moment, so I went for the kiss. This time, the bunch of kids running by were across the street, so they merely stopped and yelled out, "EWWWWW! YUCK!"

"Everybody's a critic," I said, as we broke apart, embarrassed. "I guess my technique could use some work."

Sae blushed. "Well, if you wanted to spend a few minutes practicing ..." She nodded toward her building the next block down. "I mean, you already know my secret about liking doing it, so ..."

We hastened over there, but just as we arrived, a taxi pulled up, and Saki stepped out. "Looks like we arrived at the same time!" she said. "Thanks for walking Sae home!" she added to me.

Oh well, there'd be another time. "I'll see you tomorrow, Sae," I said. I gave her a quick, non-yucky kiss to say goodbye. As I turned to go, however, I remembered, "Oh, right, my parents would like you to come over for dinner sometime. Whenever it's convenient."

"It doesn't sound convenient to me," Saki said, smiling. "I mean, who's going to cook for me, then?"

"Oh, um, I could make something and leave it for you," Sae offered.

"No, no," Saki laughed. "I was joking. I can certainly feed myself. Or maybe even get my boyfriend to step up to the plate and take me out to dinner. Don't worry about me. I'm happy your relationship is progressing so well. Just don't get married before me, ok? I don't want to be the old maid in the family."

I was feeling pretty good as I headed home. OK, we missed our chance at a second makeout session, and, yes, there was still the Miyama issue, but Sae and I had been as clear as we possibly could about our feelings for each other, and it was all fine. And maybe we could work out a planned, longer trip to Hawaii this weekend, even if not for a honeymoon just yet? Hmm, I'd have to get hold of some American money somehow, read up on things to do in Waikiki and ...

I was still coming up with plans as I entered our front door. "Tadaima!" I called out.

"Takeo!" my mom replied from the kitchen. She came over while I was changing out of my shoes and continued in a low voice, "It was nice of you to have your girlfriend over like this, but I do wish you had warned me beforehand! Fortunately, there's plenty to go around, so it's not a problem, but please give me a little advance notice next time, all right?"

"My girlfriend? You mean, she's here? Now? But ... I just dropped her off at her house!" I was confused. I guess Sae must have teleported here, but why? Did she really want to have dinner at my house that much? Or maybe there was some problem with her sister or – hold it, Mom's still talking.

"Yes, though I thought you had told us some other name. I didn't realize she was your old childhood friend!"

"'Childhood friend'? Wait, you don't mean –"

The voice I hoped Mom didn't mean then called out from the living room, "Takeo, is that you? Finally?" The person I hoped Mom didn't mean then came around the corner and added, "What took you so long to get here?"

"Mi-Miyama! What are you –? Why are you –?" I sputtered.

"Now, now, I said to call me Mizuha. And I also said we were going to work on the Hawaii thing, remember?"

Uh, what? Then I thought, I've read science fiction stories about parallel universes – that must be it; somehow, all the magic Sae and I had done had opened a gateway to another universe, and I had slipped through. But a universe where Miyama was my girlfriend? No thanks! I wanted back to mine!

Wait, if this really is a parallel universe, then according to the stories I've read, there has to be some clue, something different from my universe which will give it away. So I tried a few things:

"Mom, when's my birthday?"

"Your birthday? What, you've forgotten? It's March 11."

"OK, but what year was it? Showa ..."

"Showa 54, of course. Takeo, is something wrong with you?"

"Just checking. And my sister's name is Takako, right?"

"Uh, yes. Are you all right?"

"I'm fine, I'm fine." Hmm, maybe I need something historical, not personal. And try it with the person who seems out of place. "Miya– I mean, Mizuha, who did Musahi Miyamoto fight in his most famous duel?"

"Huh? Is this test review or something? It was that Sasaki guy – Kojiro Sasaki, I believe."

"And what was the name of the island it took place on?"

"Oh, that I'm sure of – Ganryujima. We took the ferry there once, but there's not much to see, really."

Hmm, maybe something current? "And the Prime Minister of Japan?"

"What about him?"

"I mean, what was his name, again?"

"Ryutaro Hashimoto, of course. What's all this about?"

"Oh, nothing, nothing."

My mom said, "Takeo, if you're done with your pop quizzes, I'm going to finish making dinner. I'm sure you'll keep Mizuha-chan entertained in the meantime."

As we sat down in the living room, I thought, everything has checked out so far, but I still feel like I'm missing something. Hold on a second – I'm missing the most obvious thing of all! The only way Miyama could be my girlfriend in this universe is if Sae is missing from it!

Let's see ... "Miyama – uh, I mean, Mizuha, you know a, um, Sae Sawanoguchi?"

She frowned. "That girl you're always hanging out with? Of course I do."

Aha! Not a parallel universe after all. Just Miyama being weird. "So why are you here, Mizuha? You know Sae is my girlfriend, right?"

"Perhaps, for now. But I'm here because I found something. Something in my shoe."

"In your shoe? What are you talking about?"

"Sand. There was pure white sand in my shoe."

"Oh. Well, it didn't damage anything, did it? All you'd have to do is empty it out."

"No, you idiot, my point is, how did that get there? I can think of only one place I've been recently with sand like that, and don't try to pretend to me that it was only an illusion."

"Oh." I was so surprised by Miyama's sudden revelation that all I could offer was the truth. "I admit, it was magic. We, uh, that is, Sae can –"

"Don't give me that nonsense."

"Nonsense? But it's the truth!"

"Yeah, right. Everybody knows magic isn't real."

"But it is real! I found this, uh, grimoire and –"

"Takeo, that's enough. I know perfectly well it was the aliens."

"The aliens?"

"Yes, the aliens. All of you got taken up into the alien spaceship right before it left, didn't you?"

"Well, uh, that is, we ..."

"Don't bother trying to cover it up, I already know all about it. So what I think happened is, they left you with some of their technology. In particular, their transporter."

"Transporter?"

"Yes, like on Star Trek. They either gave it to you, or, more likely, you stole that and used it to get away. And then you used it again to take us to Hawaii."

I sat there, shocked, having no idea how to respond. Which she of course took as an admission of guilt.

"Just like I thought," she said. "What else of theirs did you swipe? One of their disintegrators, right? That's what you used to destroy my artwork. But I don't mind. I'm going to have to redo it anyway, now that you're going to tell me the true story."

"The true story? Wait, this is what your new manga is about?"

"Yes, I was going to do a science fiction story, but then I realized, we just had one happen for real right here. Why not do that, rather than something made up?"

"I see. But I'm not sure there's much I can tell you."

"Aha, Ministry of Defense got to you, didn't they?" She nodded knowingly. "Don't worry, I can change enough details so they can't tell it was from you. Now, let's start with the basics – what did their anal probes look like?"

"A-a-anal probes? They didn't have anything like that!"

"Come, now. I know it's a little embarrassing, but it's not your fault. You can tell me. Oh, and I'm going to need you to drop your pants, so I can get a good sketch of your rear."

"WHAT!?"

"Now, now, this is strictly professional interest. Like going to the doctor. Unless you'd prefer something more personal ..."

Fortunately, at that point my mom called out, "Dinner's ready!"

Dinner was about as awkward as you'd expect. I did manage to communicate that Miyama wasn't my girlfriend; she was just there for, as I put it, a school project. Even so, gallantry, and my parents, required that I walk her home afterward. Which gave her a second chance at me.

"Let's get back to the probing, now," she said, once we left the house.

"I told you, there wasn't any anal probing!"

"Oh, really? Didn't those whirligigs have some sort of tentacle things?"

"Uh, well, yeah, sometimes, but they didn't probe – ok, come to think of it, they did try to probe the girls, but we stopped them."

"Just like I thought. For my version, though, I'm going to have to switch genders – my audience will want the girl to be the hero. Plus, they'd rather see a nude boy than a nude girl as the victim. Which reminds me, I am going to need you to model for me."

"What? Nude modeling? No way!"

"Oh, don't be a baby about it. It'll be tastefully done. And you can keep your ... thing ... covered up; I'm not going for X-rated, after all."

"No, no! Look, nobody was nude. We destroyed the probes before they could get too far. We always protect our club members."

"How very chivalrous. Well, I suppose I can adjust my storyline a bit. Though I'll still need a little titillation to keep my readers' interest. But tell me, how did you destroy the probes? With the alien disintegrator?"

"Uh, no, we transformed them."

"Transformed them? Ah, so they're like Transformers? I'm going to have to work on my mecha skills, obviously."

"Not exactly. We transformed them with, er ..." Wait, she wouldn't believe magic, so – "I'm sorry, I can't say."

"Secret technology, right? I don't need to know exactly, just enough so I can draw something plausible. Was it handheld?"

"Uh, yeah." A wand certainly was!

"General size and shape?"

"Long and thin. About a half meter long. With a, uh, special device at the end."

"Very good. I'm starting to get a picture. Now, what did this device look like?"

"Um, sort of a stylized bird?"

She frowned. "This sounds a lot like those silly wands of yours."

I shrugged. "Sorry, but I can't help that."

"Oh, it's all right. I guess I can use those as a model, but make it more mecha-like. Hmm, a mecha bird – that could be pretty unique. Now, tell me, how did you ever manage to master their technology? I can't imagine that they willingly taught you."

I thought for a bit, then came up with, "It's a little hard to explain, but Aikawa somehow ended up channeling them, so ..."

"You mean telepathy? Ooh, that's great! My readers love ESP! Aikawa, she's the one who models, right? Hmm, I can't have someone prettier than me – excuse me, I mean, prettier than the main character – so I think I'll use Hitomi from the Manga Club as the reference instead. She's fine, but nothing too special. Now, let's talk about the interior of the Bell ..."

This went on for a while, as it turned out Miyama lived rather a distance away, in one of the more expensive neighborhoods. But at least she had stopped trying to get my clothes off of me, I thought.

Of course, I was wrong. When we finally arrived in front of her place, she said in a deliberately casual tone, "So, I guess I'm not going to get you to pose in the nude."

"No, sorry."

"You're saving that sort of thing for your girlfriend, right?"

"Uh, well, that's really a matter for me and her, so ..."

"I take that as a 'yes.' So in that case, it should be fine if I'm the one who's your girlfriend."

"Huh? What? You ... my girlfriend?" My previous speculation about a parallel universe came rushing back to me. Had I fallen into one after all?

I was so confused by this thought that I didn't notice that, uh, ahem, Sae isn't going to see this, right? Right? Because what happened that I didn't notice was Miyama suddenly grabbing hold of me, pulling me toward her, and, uh, yeah, you see, um ... kissing me. Hard. And, uh, thrusting her tongue in my mouth and all of that stuff.

It was just like with her, um, panties – unforgettable, and yet not in the least sexy. It went on for an infinite moment, or more prosaically, about 10 seconds, before she finally relented.

"Just a little something to think about," she said. "See you tomorrow."

Thinking about it was exactly what I didn't want to do. So as I left, I tried clearing my mind of everything except Sae. I thought about her smile, about how she looked on our date, about our first kiss, our trip to Hawaii, sleeping together in Hokkaido, our crazed makeout session, even her look of embarrassment when we were caught in the middle of it ... I let all of it come and overwhelm my consciousness until all I thought of was Sae, Sae, Sae ...

It was cold and dark, and the streets were empty of cars, people, everything. But as I walked along, thinking of Sae, a feeling of warmth grew around me, like a warm embrace. Like Sae's warm embrace, I thought. Just as I thought that, I noticed a dimly lit figure off in the distance. As I drew closer, I saw it was a girl facing the other way, who was – wait a second, she was only wearing underwear? In this cold? And her hair – wasn't that Sae's hair? Why was Sae outside in only her underwear? Had something happened at her house, like a fire?

I quickly took my coat off and ran up to her, thinking to wrap it around her to protect her from the cold. Except as I did so, I noticed it wasn't really cold at all. Which was because she wasn't really outside. She was, as I now realized, in her bedroom, standing next to her bed, in her underwear, preparing to put on her pajamas and go to bed.

All of which made perfect sense, except for the fact that I was somehow there. I mean, sure, I could have taken a wrong turn somewhere, as (deliberately) preoccupied as I was, but you don't take a wrong turn on the street and then find yourself in somebody's bedroom.

Now, I assume there are established protocols for how to announce yourself when you've teleported unexpectedly into a girl's bedroom, right while she's in the middle of changing. Unfortunately, I don't know them. So all I did was stutter, "S-Sae! Wh-what's going on? How did I get here?"

There is, of course, an established protocol for a girl when a guy appears unexpectedly in her bedroom like that – namely, scream and, possibly, throw something at him. Fortunately, Sae didn't follow that. Instead, she simply asked, "Takeo, is that you?" and turned to face me.

In a day filled with unforgettable sights, this was the most unforgettable of all. I can't really do justice to it with mere words, so I'll keep my description brief. Sae was wearing a light pink cotton bra and panty set, with darker pink cherry blossoms scattered across them. Very ordinary, I suppose, not anyone's idea of "sexy," and yet to me she was the most entrancing sight ever. I admit, I've imagined Sae in her underwear a few (ok, quite a few) times, but the reality was far more charming and beautiful than that.

I stood there, charmed by beauty, while Sae went on, "It's strange, I was thinking about you, and suddenly you appear. Did I teleport you? But wait, I didn't even know where you were! And there wasn't any kissing, so we didn't have that part of it, and ... Takeo, what's wrong? Why are you staring like that?"

"S-Sae, you, uh ..." I vaguely waved in her direction.

She looked down and saw, "Eeek! Sorry! I forgot I was changing!"

"Uh, actually, I should be the one apologizing," I said. "I shouldn't really be, uh, staring, I mean, when you're like this ..."

She smiled. "Yes, but you still are."

"Oh, right." I quickly put my hands over my eyes. "Sorry!"

"Um, maybe you could turn around, too. I mean, I still have to take my underwear off before I put on pajamas, so ..."

"Yes, yes, of course." I turned around and pressed my hands firmly against my eyes. Wow, I thought, if I had arrived ten seconds later, she would have been completely, you know, naked. Whoa, hold on, she was getting completely naked now, wasn't she? And right behind me? I could feel myself going weak in the knees at the thought. Every sound of rustling clothing gave rise to new speculations – That was her bra unsnapping, right? And the bra straps sliding down her arms ... And now she was working her panties around her hips ... And stepping out of them ... And ...

I was so lost in my mental picture that I jumped when I felt a tap on my shoulder. "It's ok, now, Takeo," Sae was saying. "I'm decent."

I turned around, and she was wearing naruto-decorated pajamas with a heavy robe on top. Very domestic, yet still pretty. I breathed a sigh of – well, not exactly relief, but release from the excess stimulation my imagination had been experiencing.

"Sae, I'm really sorry about staring at you like that earlier," I began. "I know it's not proper, but I just couldn't ..."

She held my hands and smiled up at me. "That's ok. My boyfriend should be interested in me, shouldn't he? But I'm not quite ready for you to see more of me than that. I hope you don't mind."

"No, of course, I understand. We've only just started dating, after all." This time, I felt actual relief, that she wasn't inclined to be upset with me. "I suppose I best be getting home, then."

She shook her head. "No, you can't leave yet. My sister's still up, and if she sees I've had you hidden in my bedroom again, well ..."

"Oh, I see. I'm sorry! I didn't mean to cause you trouble like this!"

"Don't worry. After all, we have something to work on while we're waiting."

My eyes grew wide. Oooh, Sae! "Heh, heh, you're right. Let me just get these –" I let go of her hands and reached into my pocket, only to find – "Oh, no, I left the pills in my schoolbag!"

"P-pills?" Sae blushed. "No, no, not that! I just meant, how was it you got here? Did I really teleport you just by thinking about you?"

"Ah, right, that, of course. I'm not sure. The fact is, I was thinking about you at the same time. Concentrating very hard."

"Really? Why was that?"

"Uhhhh ..." Oops. I hadn't meant to go there. But I suppose Sae and I really are destined not to have any secrets from each other. "You see, Miyama showed up at my house."

"Miyama? Why?"

"Uh, she figured out we had really gone to Hawaii. She still had some of the sand in her shoe when we took her back."

"Oh, no! So she knows about the magic now?"

"No, that's the thing. She doesn't believe in magic, but thinks we used some sort of transporter that we got from the aliens."

"Transporter?"

"Yeah, like in science fiction. And she's working on a science fiction manga now, so she wanted to get all the details."

"I see. So what did you tell her?"

"Not much, really. I mean, we never did learn much of anything about the aliens. But in a weird way, it kind of worked out, as she was convinced I couldn't talk because the government was making us keep everything secret."

Sae considered this. "OK, that's all kind of odd, but I don't understand what that has to do with you teleporting here."

"Ah, yeah, uh, you see ..." I trailed off and tried to figure out how to put it. I certainly didn't want to talk about the nudity business! "Yeah, uh, Miyama still wanted to, uh, get more out of me, so she, uh, said, what about if I was your, uh, your, uh, that is, your g-girl ... g-girlfriend. And she, uh, ..., that is to say, she ki– ki– kissed me."

"Oh."

"No, you don't understand. It wasn't romantic, it was awful! It was disgusting!"

Sae had a disapproving look. "You shouldn't say a girl's kisses are awful and disgusting. That's not very nice."

I was a little surprised Sae took it that way, until I remembered she is so super-considerate that she even put the feelings of somebody like Miyama before her own. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it that way. It's just, it wasn't what I wanted. You're the only one I want to kiss!"

She blushed at my outburst, which made me blush too, as I realized how blunt my confession had been. "Uh, that is, I mean ..." I started babbling.

"No, that's ok, I feel the same way," she said in a quiet voice, blushing even more.

We stood there in silence for a moment, until something occurred to Sae. "So you started thinking about me, and then teleported here?"

"Yeah, I guess that's what happened."

"So it must be your power that does the teleporting after a kiss. Not mine."

"My power? But – but ..." I thought about it for a moment. "How can that be?" I asked. "I mean, I'd never been to Hawaii or Hokkaido before. So I don't see how I could have taken us there."

"Hmm, you're right. Well, maybe some of my power rubbed off on you, then. Isn't that possible?"

"I guess so. There are stories about goddesses bestowing power on humans, after all. Maybe you're a goddess in disguise."

"Wh-what? I'm no goddess!"

I smiled. "Well, to me you are."

She blushed even more heavily. "Don't say that! Anyway, that's not my point. We need to test this out – see whether it really is you."

"Test it out? You mean –"

"Yes, I'll, um, I'll kiss you, and you think about, well, how about your own house?" She was beet red at this point.

I laughed. "Are you trying to get rid of me?"

"What? No, no! I just thought, it would be an easy test. And you can always teleport back here afterward."

"I don't know how I'd do that if kissing is what activates it. I mean, I'm not going to kiss my sister or whoever."

"Oh, right. Well, um, whenever you're ready to leave, that is."

I was about to make some remark when I noticed she was suppressing a yawn. "It's ok. I can tell you're tired. Let's do it now."

I drew her close to me, and tried to think about the door to my house, and not the feeling of her breasts pressing against me. I took a deep breath, and we kissed.

It was pretty hard to hold onto the image of our front door with Sae filling my entire field of vision, with the warmth of Sae's body surrounding me, the scent of her just-washed hair, the feel of her lips against mine ... But then, somehow, my imagination managed to combine the two, and I was carrying Sae over the threshold to our new house, as we had just gotten married ...

I shook myself out of the fantasy, half-afraid I'd be holding Sae in her pajamas right at our front door, which is something I'd never be able to explain to my parents. But no, we were still in her room, surrounded by the warm glow from our embrace. I steeled myself, grabbed my coat, closed my eyes, and took two steps forward –

– And found myself at my front door. Huh, it had worked!

I opened the door and announced, "Tadaima!"

Mom came over to see. "It took you a while," she said. "You weren't making out with Mizuha-chan, were you?"

"What? No, of course not! I just got a little distracted on the way back home and took a wrong turn, that's all."

"Uh-huh. Well, I suppose I'll have to trust you to handle your girl issues appropriately. Good night."

Girl issues! I thought, as I settled into bed. What I had with Sae was more of a delight than an issue. Of course, there was Miyama, but she'd lose interest pretty soon, right? I'd just tell her the government confiscated the transporter or something. No problem.

As usual, I was wrong. My girl issues were just beginning. And what's worse, is that they were with me.