The Future of Magic

by Bakanasakusha

Magic is wonderful, magic can do anything. But with Takeo and Sae, it tends not to do quite what they meant. Can their growing relationship (and the greater Tokyo metropolitan area) survive the strains it brings?

4. The Real, The Fake, and the Magic Box

The Future of Magic

Chapter 4. The Real, The Fake, and The Magic Box

"OK, this is the next chapter," I said. "So are you going to tell us now?"

"Hold on a sec," Ryoko replied, her accent back in force. "I haveta check the insta-ratings on this. Hmm, down 20%, not great. Though I guess that's what you get when you don't put 'sex' in the title."

"Uh, what are you talking about?"

"Oh, never mind. I got ratings on the brain, is all. And it's not like it really matters with this – the author doesn't get paid a single yen either way."

"Let me repeat myself. What on earth are you talking about, and what does this have to do with the guys chasing us?"

"Right, right, I'm getting to that. Those guys, they're no police or nothing. They're members of the House of Mystery (秘密舎) – our arch-rivals from way back. Way, way back, from long before I was born."

"Rivals? So you're like gangs having a turf war?"

"Sorta. See, we're competing for this new reality TV series, 'Magic On The Air.' The winner gets 1 million yen, and I gotta tell ya, our house could really use the money."

"Reality TV? What?" A thought suddenly struck me. "Wait, do you mean there were hidden cameras back there? Back when Sae and I were, uh, naked?"

"No, no, no way!" She paused and got that thoughtful-for-Ryoko look. "At least, I don't think so. But don't worry. Even if there were, they can't use the footage anyway – you guys are underage, after all."

"That's not much comfort."

"Sorry. But really, it'll be fine, trust me. One thing I wonder, though, whaddya guys haveta do to get away from 'em? You used magic, right?"

"Uh, yeah, of course." I gave her a quick rundown of what had happened, finishing with, "... and in all the confusion, I, uh, kissed Sae, and we teleported back here."

"Really? Wow, the visuals on that must have been amazing. Especially that wall of flame shoving everything out of its path. Our ratings will be through the roof!"

"Visuals? Wait, I thought you said there weren't hidden cameras."

"Oh, on the inside, probably not, but outside, definitely. That's where we're supposed to stage our climactic battle with them. Though now I'm a little worried – if your little preliminary dustup was so spectacular, we're gonna haveta work extra hard to come up with something to top it for the finale."

"Sorry if we've made things difficult for you. But what is this with showing magic on television? How can you let that out into the public?"

"No problem. Everyone just thinks it's special effects."

"Uh-huh. But what was going on with that mansion? It belongs to your rival House, doesn't it? Why did they let you in there?"

"Um, look, I'd love to explain everything to you, but that'll haveta wait for later. I've gotta get back to my family – we're gonna haveta move on to the next phase earlier than planned, so we've gotta prepare."

"Uh, ok. Do you want us to help?"

"Nah, I got this. Lemme just –" She pulled a wand out of her pocket, closed her eyes, and muttered a spell to herself. A glow surrounded her briefly, then faded. "OK, Dad," she said, opening her eyes, "Sorry about that, but I'm ba– Hey, wait a sec! How come that didn't work?" She thought for a moment. "Oh, right, I forgot. There's a magic barrier around the whole hideout. Nobody can get in or out while it's up. Well, nobody without old Super-Power Sae behind the spell, that is. So I guess I do kinda need your help."

"All right. We'll try to get you back. Where are we sending you?"

"I can't tell you that."

"Why not? It's pretty tough to send you someplace if we don't know where the someplace is."

"No, you don't understand. I literally can't tell you – we've all been bound by a spell not to reveal its location to anybody. That's so if any of us gets captured, we can't be forced to spill."

"Captured? Are you sure this is just about a reality TV show?"

"Well ... Like I said, this goes way back."

"I see. But how are we supposed to do it, then?"

"What about Jeff-kun?" Sae, who had been quiet up until now, broke in.

"Jeff-kun?" Ryoko and I asked together.

"Yes, we brought Ryoko here accidentally by swapping her with Jeff-kun. If we swap her again, she'll be back where she started. Plus, I'll get Jeff-kun back."

"Oh, right, of course," I said. "That's great, Sae! Let's do it!"

"Yes! And I promise, this time, I'll think about Jeff-kun and no one else!"

"Wait, who's this Jeff-kun you keep talking about?" Ryoko asked.

I didn't feel like going into that, so I responded, "That'll just have to be our secret for now. C'mon, let's get you moving."

We moved Sae's desk chair into the middle of the room and had Ryoko sit on it. We then stood on each side of her and intoned the exchange spell, concentrating on the image of the missing Jeff-kun. A glow rose up around us, there was a sudden flash and then, everything went dark.

And, oddly enough, stayed dark. I waited a minute to make sure it wasn't just my eyes trying to recover from the flash of light, then said, "It looks like the power's out. We didn't do that, did we?"

But there was no answer. And as my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I realized I wasn't in Sae's room any more. I was in a large space filled with shelving, some sort of warehouse, I imagined. A couple of windows high on the distant walls provided the only illumination.

Oops. Looks like we goofed up again on the transfer, only this time on what we were sending, and not what we were getting back. Clearly, I had been sent to the hideout instead of Ryoko. But no big deal, right? I'd find the House of Spirits people, explain what happened, and we'd work out how to do the correct swap.

I called out in a louder voice, "Um, hello, this is Ryoko's friend, Takeo Takakura. We were trying to send Ryoko back here, but sent me instead by accident. Hello?"

Again, though, no answer. I wandered around until I found the door, then exited out onto a balcony over an even larger space, apparently the main receiving area for the warehouse. "Hello, anyone there?" I called out loudly. Again, only the echoes of my voice responded.

Had they left this hideout already? Maybe gone in search of Ryoko? I called out one more time, and this time there was an answer. Except it wasn't a voice, but a loud bang against the roll-up door on the floor below, presumably the loading dock entrance to the warehouse. This was followed by a series of even louder bangs, until with one final thundering blast, the entire door, tracks and all, flew off the wall, settling with a crash well inside the warehouse.

Into the swirling cloud of dust and debris stepped a dozen or more men in dark coats, led by – the same guy who had confronted us back at the mansion.

Yikes! What could I do now? Without Sae's power behind me, I'd have no chance standing up to all of them at once. Search for another way out? Except I had no idea where to look, and with the way they were fanning out, it was almost certain they'd find me before I could find an exit.

At that moment, I noticed a push broom leaning against the nearby wall. Inspiration suddenly struck me – if I couldn't use power or stealth, I'd have to rely on surprise.

I straddled the broom, and quickly repeated, "Izati abamehinam eto kaffe nan!" As soon as the broom began to glow, I leaped over the balcony railing, aiming for the gaping hole where the door had been.

That proved to be a little premature. The spell hadn't fully taken hold, so I fell precipitously, my feet banging against the floor below, before the broom suddenly thrust me upward, just barely allowing me to clear the heads of the startled House of Mystery men.

"It's that kid from the mansion!" the leader called. "After him!"

I rocketed toward the exit, my aim slightly off as I banged my head against the edge of the opening on my way out. Woozy from the impact, I wavered back and forth outside, trying to get my eyes to focus, until renewed voices behind me shook the fog from my brain. I shot rapidly upward into the night sky, stopping when I was about fifty meters up. I scanned the area, looking for familiar landmarks to orient myself.

The immediate area was fairly dark, only the occasional streetlight providing dim illumination. We must be pretty far out of town, I thought. But off in the distance, I could see a brightly lit area full of tall buildings, obviously a central part of the city. I didn't recognize any of the buildings offhand, but then it's not like I know all of Tokyo.

"There he is! Up there!" a voice below me shouted.

I looked down, and saw a group of the dark-suited men also riding on brooms, maybe four or five of them. Better get moving.

I shot off toward the lighted area, flying as fast as I could. The cold air seemed to cut through my clothes and skin, all the way to the bone. I shivered from the cold, then glancing backward, I shivered again, as I saw my pursuers were steadily gaining on me.

I tried going faster, but no use. I'd have to use evasion instead. I dropped down to street level and started weaving my way through the buildings, trying to stay just above the parked cars, and just below the power lines.

At first this was fairly easy, as the streets were empty and the obstructions few. Of course, easy for me was also easy for my pursuers, and after a while, I noticed three of them were little more than a block behind me.

I turned abruptly into a narrow alley, scraping my knee on a wall as I did so, then did a sort of bunny hop over a building into the next street, zigzagged a couple more blocks down, and repeated this procedure.

This seemed to have worked, as when I looked back a few blocks later, I saw no one behind me. But then, a voice overhead called out, "He's down here!"

The source of the voice dove down toward me, moving way faster than I could. I looked around wildly for some way to escape. Ahead and off to the left, I saw an open area with some tall poles stabilized by sets of guy wires. I flew right into the midst of them, my pursuer almost literally on my heels. I wove around back and forth through the wires until my head, already hurting from the earlier impact, protested that it couldn't take any more. Fortunately, at that moment, my pursuer caught his outstretched knee on one of the wires and went tumbling down to the ground.

Now was the time to flee. I ducked out between the wires, made my way over to what seemed to be a main avenue, and flew down it as fast as I dared. The surroundings started being more populated and better lit, so a few times there were people on the sidewalks who stopped and pointed in my direction. Hopefully I was moving fast enough that they couldn't really see what it was. I kept looking back, but saw no more sign of the House of Mystery crew. It seemed I had finally lost them.

OK, I got away. Now what? The surroundings still didn't seem very familiar. I'd have to find a map or something to orient myself. Just then, though, I saw the familiar Japan Rail logo on a large, well-lit building. Yes, that would do nicely.

I landed in a dark corner behind the building, stashed the broom, and strode around to the front entrance. My head, knee and feet were all hurting from various impacts, but I tried not to show it, not wanting to attract any attention. I rounded a corner, and saw a sign which I struggled to read. Not that it was difficult or anything, but what it said made no sense.

I scanned it several times, and kept coming up with the same result: "JR – Shin Osaka." Osaka? How on earth could I be here? Well, ok, sure, with Sae's power behind me, I suppose I could end up anywhere, but everyone else? Because judging by the attack from the House of Mystery, I had indeed come to the right place.

Oh well, it wasn't like Sae was the only powerful magician on Earth. I'm sure both of the Houses had their own means of moving around quickly. The question now was whether I did.

I pondered my options. I did know some solo teleportation spells, but they were only good for short distances. I could use the broom to fly back to Tokyo, though, right? Except no, it was a good 500 kilometers away. It would take all night long, not to mention the fact that I would freeze to death along the way, considering how cold I had gotten in the 5 or 6 kilometers from the warehouse to here.

Wait a second – why bother with magic? I was at the station for the fastest train in the world. All I had to do was hop on board the shinkansen, and I'd ride back to Tokyo in complete comfort at 200 km an hour!

But when I entered the station and stepped up to a ticket window, I found out that, even at student rates, the fare to Tokyo was almost 10,000 yen. Which was bad enough, but when I reached for my wallet to check how much I actually had, I found my pocket was empty. Oh, the wallet must still be in my school bag, back in Sae's bedroom.

I collapsed onto a nearby bench. What now? Hmm, if I could contact Sae, I could take advantage of her power and try another transfer. If I did that object visualization thing maybe ...

I looked around, and no one was nearby, so I pulled out my wand, keeping it close enough to me that it was still mostly hidden by my coat. What object should I choose? I thought about Jeff-kun, but no, I didn't want to cross him again. How about that snow globe of hers? That'd do it! I repeated the spell, concentrating on my vague memory of the object, but nothing happened. Must not have been distinctive enough, I guess.

So what other object should I try? That certain part of my mind then suggested Sae's bra, an object I was quite familiar with, what with having worn it (as Sae) most of the day. OK, a little perverted, perhaps, but not a bad choice.

I tried the spell again, and this time I was rewarded with a shimmering view of – the very bra in question? On Sae? Probing the wavering image, I saw that Sae was standing there, clad only in her underwear, along with Ryoko, who was similarly attired. Huh? What was going on? Before I could figure that out, though, the image flickered and vanished. I tried to summon it again, but failed.

I sat back up again. Clearly, my exhaustion was catching up with me. I'd have to rest before trying again. Besides, better that I give them a chance to get dressed again first, rather than just barging in and having them start screaming.

I put the wand away and leaned back against the bench, soon slipping into a sort of half-dozing state. Just a few minutes of relaxation, I thought, and then I'll be able to –

"Excuse me, are you Takakura-san? Takeo Takakura-san?"

Startled, I looked up and saw a tall, slender woman with long jet-black hair. She looked to be around 30 and was (gulp!) incredibly beautiful, in what I imagined to be a femme fatale sort of way.

"Uh, I'm sorry, do I know you?" I asked tentatively.

"No, no, but the House heard of your predicament and sent me to fetch you."

"The House? Wait, do you mean the House of Sp–"

"Shhh! Careful, don't say it out loud! There are spies everywhere!"

"Sorry. But wait, how did you know I was here?"

"Oh, the little contretemps at the warehouse notified us that something was up. And there was a tracker on the broom you borrowed, so you were easy enough to follow."

"I see. Sorry about taking it. I'd have brought it back if there were any way I could."

"No, no, that's fine. Let's not worry about that now. Instead, let's worry about getting you back to your girlfriend. Come with me."

She grabbed my hand and pulled me to my feet, but I resisted, still not certain what was up. "What's wrong?" she asked. "Would you rather do the train? Trust me, our way is much faster."

"I'm sure, but, uh, how do you know about Sae and me and all?"

"Ryoko was able to contact Dr. Ryugasaki after your little, um, mishap, and filled him in. Come, let's hurry."

As we hastened out of the building, hand-in-hand, I caught a whiff of her perfume, which was intoxicating. Literally so, as I found myself struggling to maintain my balance. Or perhaps it was just my exhaustion?

She noticed my condition. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah, yeah, just a little tired. It's been quite a day."

"I can imagine. Don't worry, it's not much farther."

She led us around into a little alcove off to one side. "There, this should be private enough. Now it's time to kiss."

"K-kiss? What?"

"Yes, kiss. With only two of us, there's no other means to provide enough power to get you back to Tokyo."

"B-but, that's just something I do with Sae."

She looked exasperated. "I'm not talking about a makeout session, I'm talking about activating a spell. Now did you want to go back to your girlfriend or not?" She pressed me into a corner of the alcove and leaned in close, staring straight into my eyes. "Well? Do you?"

"I– I–" At that point, I had no idea what I wanted. In fact, I had no idea about anything at all. Her eyes, her voice, her warmth, her beauty, her perfume, all were conspiring to overwhelm my senses. I was transfixed, paralyzed. Though apparently not completely paralyzed, as somehow, without any conscious control, my lips and tongue moved and, in the barest of whispers, formed the word, "OK."

And she kissed me.

Now I don't know why you would, but if you're keeping track, that makes the fourth girl that's kissed me. And two guys, but let's not talk about that now. All those kisses were memorable in their own way – Ryoko's, because it was my first, and because it was under a magical compulsion against my will. (Well, more or less against my will.) Sae's, of course, because it was the most magical experience of my life, in more ways than one. Miyama's, because, um, you know what? Let's not talk about that one, either.

The one from this girl, or rather woman, was in a category of its own. She was just as forceful as Miyama, pressing her lips hard against mine and plunging her tongue deep into my mouth, but it wasn't – hmm, Sae doesn't want me to say "disgusting" so let's go with "unpleasant." Though "pleasant" doesn't really describe it either. "Spellbinding," perhaps. "Mesmerizing," even. No, wait, "all-encompassing" is closer to the mark. I felt completely surrounded, enveloped by her presence, caught up in a wave that was pulling me away, far out into a sea of –

No, no, stop! a voice inside me said. You're doing this for Sae, remember? Don't get wrapped up in this woman you only met three minutes ago, think of your true love!

That voice was right. It took all my waning strength, but I pushed back against the wave, striving for the image of Sae I imagined on the distant shore. Vaguely, as if from far away, I could sense the warmth of the spell rising up around us. This is it, I told myself. Now's my chance. I've got to get this right.

As she started pulling back from the kiss, one half of me tried to follow, not willing to let it end. But my other half – maybe even my better half – took over, forcing me to take one, two, three tentative steps forward, forward to my wavering image of Sae. The walls of the alcove seemed to melt away, and with one more step, I was out of there –

– And into a raging storm. Snow and ice pelted me, while the wind howled around me, shoving me back and forth, trying to knock me over. "What the – How did I end up here?" I said. "I wasn't even thinking of Hokkaido!"

"Oh, this isn't Hokkaido," the woman, who, I just now realized, had still been holding my hand, replied. "We're in the mountains somewhere between Osaka and Tokyo. On the slopes of Mount Kisokoma, I'd say, judging by the ropeway over there." She pointed to a distant set of cables that ran dramatically up the side of the mountain we were evidently on. She shook her head. "I must admit, I was wrong about you. Your magic is far more powerful than I thought."

"Huh? What do you mean? I only made it halfway back. Sae has taken us at least 20 times farther!"

She laughed. "She made it that far with all of your love behind her. You made it this far despite my best efforts."

"Despite? Huh?"

"Yes, I had assumed that between my hypno-perfume and your, shall we say, horndog nature, you'd be too out of it to control where we went, so I could easily whisk you into our holding cell over by the Osaka port. But you overcame all that, and even half overcame me. Impressive."

I stepped back from her, yanking my hand away. "You're not with the House of Spirits at all!" I said. "You're part of that Mystery House!"

"Very astute. Though, technically, I am a member of the House of Spirits. I'm just working as a double-agent, is all."

"But – but why? Sae and I aren't part of this contest. I mean, we know Ryoko, sure, but we're not part of her House or anything."

She shrugged. "I'll tell you the reason, but I'm afraid you may find it a little demeaning. We weren't actually interested in you per se – while I'm sure you're a nice guy and all, we didn't think your magic amounted to much. Your girlfriend, on the other hand – if we could tap into her power, we'd finally have the edge to defeat Ryugasaki's bunch once and for all. So Mr. Yamashita decided I should lure you into a trap, and we could then use you as a hostage to control your little powerhouse friend."

"I see. Sorry to have disrupted your plans."

"Oh, that's all right. If I can't lure you in, I'll just have to take you by force." And with that, she pulled out a wand – a far more ornate affair than mine, I noticed – and started an incantation.

"No, no, stop!" I cried. "Look, I don't want to hurt you, but I can't let you have Sae!"

She stopped her spell and smiled smugly. "That's very sweet of you not to want to hurt me, but I can assure you, that's the last thing you need worry about." She started chanting again, and the end of her wand began to glow red.

I had to do something. Unfortunately, my mind blanked out at that moment, and I couldn't think of any appropriate spells. Finally, I came up with the Fulmen spell – not great, but better than nothing. Quickly, I pulled out my wand and shouted, "Fulmenprotegetinpulsatuteleactuat!" I turned the power to a maximum, so my whole body glowed blue-white, little flickers of lightning dancing over it.

She stopped her chant again and laughed. "That's the best you can do? Sorry, little boy, but you're grounded! Literally!" She pointed her wand at me, and suddenly all the electricity drained off of me, through her wand, then down into the rocks below our feet. "Now, let's get down to business!"

I had nothing else, so I turned and ran. Which proved quite difficult as well, over the rocky, icy terrain. I slipped, but was able to recover, though in doing so, I saw she was coming after me.

"Running?" she cried. "Don't think you can get away from me in so crude a –"

There was a sudden crash, as she slipped off a rock and tumbled down the slope, followed by silence.

I stopped. What should I do? On the one hand, this was my chance to get away. On the other, what if she were injured? Unconscious? I couldn't leave her out here, exposed, in the middle of a winter storm at night.

I sighed. No choice. I carefully picked my way over the rocks, down the slope, until I found her lying in a patch of snow, smashed up against a pine tree.

I kneeled down and looked her over. There was a bump on her forehead, her right foot looked twisted at an uncomfortable angle, and her wand was broken into multiple pieces. "Can you hear me?" I asked. "Are you all right?"

She opened her eyes and looked up at me. "What are you doing here?" she said. "You should be long gone by now."

I shook my head. "Sorry, no way can I leave you like this. How hurt are you? Can you get up?"

She tried, but failed, so I helped her into a sitting position. "This is ridiculous," she said. "After all I did to you, you shouldn't be helping me like this."

I smiled. "Well, you know, you didn't actually do anything to me. Except kiss me, that is. Now how about you? How's that ankle?"

She tried flexing it and winced. "Not good. I think something might be broken. And my head is –" She stopped, her eyes rolled up, and she began to fall backward, until I caught her. She opened her eyes again, but it took a moment before she could focus. "That's not good either," she said.

"We've got to get you to an emergency room," I said.

I wasn't quite sure how to do that, until I noticed a pine branch she had broken off in her fall. Yes, that would do. "Let me set you here for a moment," I said, maneuvering her so she was leaning against the tree she had crashed into.

I picked up the branch and stripped off the twigs and branchlets from most of its length, until what was left was roughly broom shaped. I brought it back to her, then carefully moved her so she was sitting on top of it. I got behind her, wrapping my arms around her and grabbing the end of the branch between her legs.

"Oh, my, this is very intimate," she said. "I feel like we'll have to get married after this."

I was not about to respond to that, so instead I merely said, "I'm going to try to lift us up very slowly, so as not to injure your ankle any more. Here goes – Izati abamehinam eto kaffe nan!"

We did lift up slowly, but unfortunately her foot got caught on something on the way up, wrenching it slightly. "Ahh!" she gasped, then slumped against me.

I managed to disentangle her, then lifted us all the way up, above the trees. Of course, up there had its own issues, as the strong winds buffeted us back and forth. I've got to get us out of here, I thought. I hugged her to me as tightly as I could, then set off toward the tram line she had pointed out before. I figured at the lower end of it should be a ski village and, presumably, some sort of emergency clinic.

I was even more exhausted than before, but the warm body tucked between my arms and legs inspired me onward. It also inspired some of those, um, horndog thoughts, but I suppressed them as best I could. She could have a concussion, I thought. She could go into shock, I thought. All that mattered was getting her to a hospital as quickly as possible.

As I approached the ropeway and turned to follow it down the mountain, she stirred. "What's going on? – Oh, right."

"How's your head?" I asked.

"It hurts but – could be worse. I mean, I could still be lying collapsed on the side of the mountain. Um, thanks." She paused, then added, "But I'm still going to take you hostage when I recover from this."

I smiled. Her tone made it clear she wasn't too serious. "I'm sure you will," I replied.

"You're patronizing me, aren't you?"

"Yes, I am."

"Sigh. I suppose I deserve it. I guess I'm not cut out to be a super-villainess. My first real attempt, and not only do I lose to a teenage boy, I have to be rescued by him."

"I don't think being a super-villainess is something to aspire to."

"Oh, but the outfits are so cool!"

I laughed. "I don't know about that. I didn't care for the one that Miyama tried to foist on me."

"Huh? You were going to be a super-villainess?"

"Yeah, that was back when I was a girl. Earlier today."

She turned around and looked at me. "You're a little weird, you know."

"So I've been told."

We reached the base of the ropeway, but all there was was a small building and a parking lot. "Hmm, you seemed to recognize this place," I said. "Have you been here before? Do you know where there's a hospital?"

"Um, yeah, just follow the road down the mountain. There's an onsen, and then the hospital is just past it."

I did as instructed, following the empty road as it twisted and turned down the mountain. Keeping close to the roadway, we were protected from the wind, but it was still cold, bitterly cold. I wrapped my coat and myself around her as best I could, to try to protect her from the worst of it.

"How are you holding out?" I asked.

"I'll survive. My head's still kind of – uhhh. Sorry, got a bad twinge there. Ow."

I figured I should distract her from the pain. "I'm surprised you knew about the kiss teleportation thing. I thought that was something only Sae and I knew. Ryoko had never heard of it."

"Oh, no, it's been known for a long time. It's not widely taught, though. I think it's because to learn it, you have to have someone willing to practice with you, and a lot of witches don't. Like Ryoko, for instance." She snickered a little at that. "Also, it helps if you're a good kisser."

I smiled. "Well, you're a very good one."

"I know."

"Modest, too."

She laughed, then moaned a little in pain. "Ah, sorry, I better rest now. Anyway, another reason they don't teach it much is that there are risks associated with it. I don't know the details, though. My uncle says that's because they're X-rated."

"Yeah, I think I might know one of them," I replied, but she had already closed her eyes.

The trip was way longer than I had anticipated. I was able to hop over some of the switchbacks to shorten things a little, but still, it was around 20 minutes before the onsen finally pulled into view.

"Almost there," I said.

She roused from her half-slumber. "Thanks. I owe you big time."

"I should say so!" I said jokingly, trying to keep things light.

"Yes, and, um, sorry about calling you a little boy. That wasn't very nice."

"No, it wasn't. It was a clever line, though. You're going to have to teach me that grounding spell."

"I'll think about it." She shifted a little on the branch, evidently trying to get more comfortable, then said, "I apologize for that, but not for calling you a horndog. Judging by what's sticking into my back, that one's still appropriate."

Oops. My efforts at concealing that had clearly not been successful. "Um, sorry, it's just with this situation ... I mean, I can't exactly control how it, uh, reacts, and ..."

She laughed. "I'm teasing. Just don't push it any farther, though, or we really will have to get married."

I managed to make it to the hospital without getting past first base. I landed just around the corner from the entrance to the emergency room. "Hmm, I won't be able to fly you through the door," I said.

"It's ok, I can make it that far," she replied, before immediately collapsing.

I caught her and scooped her up in my arms. "Don't worry, I've got you."

"No! I can't have you carry me like this! It's too undignified!"

I smiled. "Hey, if we're going to have to get married, I need practice carrying you across the threshold. Let's go."

I made it to the front nurse in the reception area and explained, "I'm afraid my friend slipped on the ice and hurt herself kind of badly. Especially her ankle and forehead."

The nurse seemed rather surprised by our appearance. "I see," she said. "Well, let's get your girlfriend signed in and we'll take a look. What's her name?"

I looked blank. What was her name, anyway? Fortunately, she answered, "Matsura. Mayumi Matsura. Um, Takeo, my head's really hurting now. Could you be a dear and handle the paperwork? Here, I'll give you my stuff."

I set her into a wheelchair someone had brought up, while she handed me her wallet and, unexpectedly, gave me a quick kiss on the lips. "Don't worry, darling," she said. "I'll be ok." She smiled, and then abruptly stuck her tongue out at me as they wheeled her away.

OK, that was weird. But no time to dwell on it, as the admitting nurse swiftly reminded me. Fortunately, Mayumi – may as well use her name now that I know it – had left me the info I needed to fill out the forms. Which is how I discovered she was nowhere near 30 – in fact, she wasn't even a year older than me. Huh. I guess being a super-villainess makes you mature quickly. Although I wasn't sure "mature" was the right word to apply to her, after that last bit.

Though maybe she did have a reason for it. After I finished the paperwork, the nurse looked it over. "I see here in your 'Brief Description of Incident' you say you two were out walking when she slipped on some icy rocks and fell down and hit a tree. You then carried her here to the emergency room."

"That's right."

"Where did this happen? At the onsen?"

"Um, no, it was up the mountain. Near the ropeway."

"Up there? You mean you carried your girlfriend all the way down the mountain?"

Oops. "No, no, sorry, we got a, um, a ride down the mountain. I just carried her into here."

"I see. So what were you doing walking up on the mountain in such terrible weather?"

"Yes, well, we, um, we didn't realize it was going to be this bad. We kind of got caught in it while trying to make our way back."

"I see." She pushed a button on the phone next to her and said, "I'm afraid it will take a little while to examine her, so in the meantime, I'd like you to go sit in our waiting room over there."

And before I quite realized what was happening, I was ushered into a small room off to one side. I sat there for a while, becoming more and more anxious. Were they suspicious of me? Should I try to escape? Except even assuming I could, wouldn't that just make me look even guiltier? And after all my noble talk, I could hardly abandon Mayumi here, especially now that she had lost her wand and left me with her wallet with – yikes, there was over 50,000 yen in there!

I was still pondering my situation when, after some interminable amount of time, there was a sharp rap on the door, and a rather burly-looking man in a suit came in holding the papers I had filled out.

I was afraid he was going to immediately start poking holes in my story but instead he asked, "How long have you known Miss Matsura?"

"How long have I known her? Uh, a little while. Not super-long. Why?"

"I'm just noticing that her home address is in Osaka, while yours is Tokyo. Tell me, how did you two meet?"

"Oh, I, um, I met her on a, uh, trip to Osaka. She, uh, I mean, it turns out we have a lot of common interests, so I guess we hit it off right away."

"Common interests?"

"Yeah, uh, we both like magic. You know, doing tricks and all. Would you like to see one?"

"Some other time, perhaps. Now what brings you to Komagane?"

"Oh, um, we're traveling to Tokyo, but Mayumi wanted to show me the mountains here first."

"Ah. So a little honeymoon trip?"

I forced a laugh. "Well, we joke about getting married, but we're not quite at that point yet."

"What point are you at?"

"Huh?"

"Let me be direct here. Is yours a sexual relationship?"

"What? No, no, we're just good friends, is all. All that other stuff, we're just joking, really."

"'Just joking.' Now was that because of her choice, or yours?"

"Choice? Wait, what are you saying?"

He leaned forward in his chair and stared directly in my eyes. "Mr. Takakura, I'd like you to consider the following scenario, and tell me whether this isn't in better accord with the facts than yours. You meet Miss Matsura in Osaka, yes, but then the two of you run away for a little assignation, here in Komagane where no one will recognize you. However, at the last minute, she decides not to, shall we say, put out, and in anger, you injure her. But, to your credit, you repent of your actions and bring her here for treatment."

"WHAT!? No, no, that's utter nonsense! I would never hurt her! I would never hurt anybody!"

"I'm sure you never intended to, but in the heat of passion, sometimes –"

Just then, there was a knock on the door. "Excuse me," the man said. "Please don't move. I'll be right back."

He closed the door, and I heard the distinct click of a lock. I was in full panic mode. I had to get out. But wait, they had all my info in the paperwork I had filled out. Even if I escaped, they could easily track me down. What could I do?

Just then, though, the door opened again, and the man reentered, accompanied by a nurse. "My apologies, Mr. Takakura," he said with a quick bow. "I've been informed that Miss Matsura largely confirms your story. She is very insistent that you are not responsible in any way for her injuries, and in fact you 'saved her life,' she says. So again, my apologies. But now, her preliminary treatment is complete, and she is ready to receive visitors." He indicated the nurse. "Miss Narumi here will lead you to her."

Mayumi was sitting up on a bed wearing a hospital gown, her forehead and ankle heavily bandaged. She no longer seemed like a 30-something femme fatale. Instead, she looked like what she was, a girl around my age who was having a very bad day.

"I got some good news," she said. "They say nothing's broken. It's really just a bad ankle sprain and a moderate concussion, plus some cuts and bruises. So aside from having to keep weight off the foot for a while, I should be fine."

"That's great," I replied. "I also have good news. They're not going to arrest me for beating you up."

She laughed. "Yes, I should have warned you. It occurred to me what people might think, you bringing me in looking like this. So that's why I was being all lovey-dovey. Just to try to allay any suspicion. Sorry if you're disappointed that it wasn't real."

Oh. While secretly I maybe kind of was – I mean, the thought that a beautiful woman like that would so quickly fall for me was flattering – instead I replied, "That's ok, I had assumed as much. And besides, I already have the most wonderful girlfriend imaginable."

"Aww, now you're going to make me feel guilty when I take you hostage and compel that wonderful girlfriend to do my bidding."

"Wait, you're still planning on that? After all I did for you?"

She looked embarrassed. "Yes, uh, that's the thing. Mr. Yamashita called me just now, and when he found out I had failed, he was very upset. He said unless I could bring you in soon, the 'consequences would be severe.'"

"What? But that's terrible!"

She shrugged. "That's the downside of being a super-villainess. There's not a lot of room for failure."

"OK, but what can I do to help? I mean, if it were just me, I'd be happy to let you take me prisoner, but I can't let Sae get mixed up in this."

"You'd be happy to be my prisoner? Kinky!"

"Yes, well, never mind that. The point is, I can't go along with it." I hesitated, then went on, "You don't have to be a super-villainess, you know. Why not come back to Tokyo with me? I'm sure I could talk Ryoko's group into taking you back."

"In other words, you want me to become a triple agent."

"I guess so."

"But what about when Mr. Yamashita finds out? He'll be after me more than ever."

"Right, but then you could pretend to have fooled me into trusting you, and that you're using that to reinfiltrate yourself into the House of Spirits and undermine them from within."

"Oooh, I see. Tell him I'm actually a quadruple agent. Except secretly I'd be a quintuple agent." She mused over that briefly. "But then what if I become a sextuple agent?"

"A what?"

"Sextuple. Six times. It has nothing to do with sex. That's what you were thinking, wasn't it?"

"No, no, certainly not. Well, maybe a little."

"Uh huh. Anyway, my point is, you'd have no way of knowing whether I'll betray you in the end. Until it's too late."

"I guess I'll just have to trust you then. That's fine. After all" – I pulled out her wallet and handed it back to her – "you trusted me with all of this, right?"

"Yes, well, you just didn't seem like the type that would steal from me." She set the wallet down on the nightstand next to her and picked up a cell phone that was there. "All right, I'll try it. First, I have to convince Mr. Yamashita. Wish me luck."

She dialed, then said in the phone, "Chief Yamashita? This is the Dark Temptress."

"The Dark Temptress?" I asked, incredulously.

She waved me to silence, then continued into the phone. "No, sir, I'm not in a position to do that now. ... But wait, wait, I have a new plan! You know how you always say a good agent must be ready to exploit any situation that arises? ... Yes, well, I've been able to exploit my injury. I have the boy completely wrapped around my little finger now. ... Yes, he's so broken up over it, he'll do anything for me. So I'm going to get him to 'take care of me' while I recover, and use that to gain their confidence and ... What? No, I shouldn't have to go that far. He's a very naive boy. ... Yes, sir, I understand. Don't worry, I'm in complete control now. ... Yes, I will. Goodbye." She turned to me. "Um, sorry you had to hear all that. It's just part of the act."

"Oh, that's ok. I probably am very naive, after all. But what was that bit about the 'Dark Temptress'?"

She looked embarrassed. "Um, never mind that. It's just a code name."

"Did you pick that out yourself, or did someone give it to you?"

"Just – just never mind that. That was a long time ago. I was way more gung-ho back then. Now, all we should be concerned about is how we're going to get out of here and on to Tokyo."

The first part of that was addressed immediately. There was a knock on the door, and a couple of doctors (or at least medical-looking people) entered. "Let's see how you're doing, young lady," one of them said, and directed the other one, presumably the intern, through a physical exam, concentrating on a post-concussion evaluation and the condition of her ankle. When they were finished, the first one said, "Very good, Miss Matsura, I think we're safe in letting you go. Especially when it's into the care of this heroic boyfriend of yours." He patted me on the back. "You'll take good care of her, won't you?"

"I'll do my best, sir."

"I'm sure you will. The nurse will be in shortly with the discharge instructions. Make sure she follows them to the letter!"

I was a little worried about what I was getting myself into, and even more so when the nurse went over the instructions with us. It sounded like they wanted me to watch over her closely for the next 7 to 10 days. What exactly would that entail?

That question was also addressed immediately. Among the things the nurse left us was a bag containing Mayumi's possessions, i.e., her clothing. When I took them out, Mayumi said, "Oh, I should have asked the nurse to stay and help me get dressed. I banged up my shoulder in the fall, and it hurts to try to reach behind me."

"Um," I said, "I can help you with that. I've got experience. Like I said, I was a girl just recently."

She looked me over suspiciously. "You are going to have to explain that to me. But all right, provided you don't look at anything you're not supposed to look at."

And I managed that, pretty much. I worked her panties around her taped-up ankle and over her knees, then turned around as she slipped them up the rest of the way. The hospital gown actually provided some concealment as I helped her put her bra on, and of course the open back made it easy for me to fasten it.

After that, it was just a matter of getting the rest of her clothes on. Which of course meant I saw her in her underwear, but that didn't get me as, uh, horndoggy as I might have been in the past. Maybe it had something to do with my experiences as Sae, but mostly it was because for the first time, I saw the full extent of her injuries. In addition to her ankle and forehead, she had a massive bruise on her right shoulder, and smaller bruises and nicks on her arms, back and hips.

"Wow, you went through a lot," I said. "That must really hurt."

"Oh, right now, it's not so bad, since they dosed me way up on painkillers. Which probably explains my lack of judgment in letting you do this. So please don't try to take any more advantage of me right now. I just might give in."

"Ha ha, no, you don't have to worry about that." What I was worried about, though, was how to handle this level of, uh, intimate care in the future. Like with, uh, bathing. And involuntarily, I started thinking about my bathtime – just the previous night! – with Sae's sister. Only now, in my mental picture, I was putting Mayumi in place of Saki, and me as me in place of me as Sae. And of course Mayumi would need a lot more help, as I carefully ran the sponge up her back and ...

"Is that zipper stuck?" Mayumi's voice broke me out of my little fantasy. Oh, right, I was zipping up her dress, not scrubbing her back.

"Sorry, just had a little trouble – there we go, you're all zipped up." Sheesh, I thought. A minute earlier I was praising myself on my mature, altruistic approach to helping Mayumi, and then almost immediately I'm back to my old ways. Good thing Sae wasn't around to see this.

"Takeo?"

Huh? That was Sae's voice! She was here? I whirled around, trying to locate the source of the sound, but saw no one else in the room. Was my guilt making me imagine things?

Tentatively, I called out, "Hello, is someone there? Sae? Is that you?"

There was a staticky sound, then "...akeo, where are you? You kept moving around so we couldn't fix on you and – wait! Is that a hospital room? What happened to you? Did they hurt you?"

In front of the door, a shimmering light appeared, and gradually resolved into an image of Sae and Ryoko, both wearing pajamas, sitting on Sae's bed.

"Oh, uh, hi!" I said, still feeling a twinge of guilt for what I had been fantasizing about moments earlier. "No, no, don't worry, I'm fine. I'm in – let me see, this is Komagane. About halfway between Osaka and Tokyo."

"What are you doing there? And why are you in a hospital?"

"Yes, uh, when we did the swap, I apparently ended up in a House of Spirits safe house in Osaka. But it wasn't so safe, so I tried making it back to Tokyo, except I had some problems and could only make it halfway. Also, I've got –"

"Takeo, you need to watch out!" Ryoko interrupted. "We've got a spy! My dad told me – she's betrayed all our hideouts to Mystery. If she gets hold of you, she'll – yikes! Look out! She's right behind you!"

I turned around and saw Mayumi had scooted over on the bed until she was within their field of view. "Hi, cousin!" she said. "Miss me?"

"Huh? Ryoko's your cousin?" I asked. While, as I've said, both of them are quite pretty in their own way, the two girls couldn't be more different in body type: Ryoko being short and, let's say, well-endowed; while Mayumi is tall, and much more the, uh, traditional slender Japanese figure.

"Second cousin, actually, but we're pretty close in age, so we were always together growing up. And Ryo-chan was always jealous that the boys were attracted to me and not to her," Mayumi said, sticking her tongue out.

"Not any more!" Ryoko replied, sticking out her tongue in turn. "Back when we were kids, maybe, but nowadays, nobody wants a beanpole like you. Guys want a real woman," she added, thrusting out her chest to indicate what she meant.

"They want someone who's sophisticated and mature, not just one with big fat –"

"Wait, wait!" I said, not interested in letting this continue. "Mayumi," I began, then decided I had best not seem too familiar. "Er, I mean, Matsura-san – if you and Ryoko were this close, how come you went over to a rival house?"

"Oh. we're all of us related. The Ryugasakis, the Matsuras, the Yamashitas, we're all cousins."

"OK, if you're all related, then what's the deal with this rivalry?"

"It's because of a dirty trick Yashiro played on my dad!" Ryoko shouted.

Mayumi laughed. "Yes, though I think they both played plenty of tricks on each other. See, in high school, the two of them – that is, Dr. Ryugasaki and Mr. Yamashita – were rivals for the same girl. So they tried all these tricks to make the other one look bad in front of her. Very mature stuff, like endless farting and things like that."

"So who won in the end? Yamashita?"

She shook her head. "They both lost. Or both won, depending on how you look at it. She ended up convinced they were both idiots."

"Was the Matsura side involved at all?"

"No, it's my mom who's the cousin to those two, and she wanted nothing to do with it. Even though she was Ami's best friend – that's the girl they were fighting over. Anyway, we've always been kind of the neutral ones. Although Ryo-chan and I were good friends. That is, until she started making fun of me."

"Fun of you? Whaddya talkin' about?" Ryoko broke in.

"THAT! Exactly that! Your stupid fake Osaka accent! I couldn't help if I had an accent as a kid – I was raised there. But I spent years training myself out of it. And then you start up talkin' like some silly imitation of me, as if I was some kinda stupid comedian or somethin' – Ack! Now you've got me doing it!"

"Girls, girls!" I broke in. "You can sort out old differences later. The important thing now is for us to get back to Tokyo. I'm afraid Matsura-san here had a bad fall, and will need looking after for a few days."

"Well, don't bring her here!" Ryoko said. "Didn't you just hear me? She betrayed all our hideouts. That's why my dad told me to stay here with Sae. It's one place Matcha doesn't know about."

"Huh? 'Matcha'?" I asked.

"That's just Ryoko's nickname for me," Mayumi said. "When she was little and tried to say 'Mayu-chan,' it came out 'Matcha.' People thought it was funny, and got her to keep doing it. Which, come to think of it, was another thing I always found annoying."

Sae, who had been quiet this whole time, trying to follow everything, suddenly broke in with, "Ryoko, look at her! All those bandages – she must really be hurt. We have to take care of her!"

Yes, there's my wonderful Sae! Always ready to help anyone, no matter what! "Sae's right," I said. "The doctor's instructions are –"

"Hold on a minute," Ryoko interrupted. "You never explained how you two met, anyway. Why are you traveling together? How did she get hurt?"

"Oh, uh ..." I wasn't sure how much I should go into, given the situation between the cousins, but glancing at Mayumi, she seemed to shrug, so I figured at least some of the truth. "Well, you're right, originally she was intending to capture me, but then she slipped on some ice while pursuing me and fell down the mountain here. But it's ok, I convinced her to come back to our side."

"You did, did you?" Ryoko shook her head. "You're just too naive, Takeo. A pretty girl tells you something, and you believe her instantly. Heck, I do that to you all the time."

"Yes, well, whatever. Matsura-san needs help, no matter which side she ends up on. We have to make sure she heals properly."

"Takeo's right," Sae said. "She may have done some bad things, but she still needs our help."

"Fine," Ryoko said. "You two help her, but not around me. And above all, she can't come here!"

"Oh, all right," I said. "Maybe she could stay with Nakatomi-kun or Aikawa-kun." Just then, I noticed the time on the clock on the wall. "Except, whoa, it's almost midnight! Hmm, how about this? She can stay at my house tonight. Then tomorrow, let's get the club together and figure out how to handle things. That ok with you, Ryoko?"

She shrugged. "It's your funeral. Probably not literally, but I won't guarantee that."

On that pleasant note, the two of them vanished into thin air, or at least their image did. It was only after they were gone that I realized my chance of using Sae's power to teleport us back was gone, too.

"So I guess you heard all that," I said to Mayumi.

"Yes, basically, I'm sleeping with you tonight," she said, with a smirk.

"Ha, ha, at my house, at least. I guess you can sleep with my sister or something."

"Aww, but what if I want to sleep with you?"

"What!? With me – oh, you're just teasing again, aren't you?"

"Maybe. Or maybe I'm just getting us in the mood. Because it's time to pucker up."

"Pucker up?"

"Yes, either that or we get a room here for the night. There's no train leaving until the morning, so for now, our only choice is the Kiss Express. Are you ready?"

I gulped. Here I had just been attempting to suppress those questionable thoughts, and now I had to not only bring them out again, I also had to act on them, at least in one sense. And would it work? Sure, I had driven the "Kiss Express" in the past, but only either with Sae or going to her. Or, in one case, inside her. But now, with this strange girl, and going just to my house which, come to think of it, how would my parents react to me showing up at midnight with some girl they've never seen before and asking if she could spend the night and – wait a second, what is Mayumi doing – ?

What she was doing was pulling herself up on me and, before I quite knew what was happening, she had her arms around me and ... kissed me.

Now, it wasn't overwhelming in the same way as our first kiss had been. For one thing, her hypno-perfume had mostly been washed away when they treated her. And she was no longer the mysterious femme fatale I had first taken her as, but rather a girl around my age, that I sort of knew.

But that in itself added something, as I sort of knew her and sort of liked her, despite her original more-than-sort-of-questionable intentions. Beyond that, when it came to kissing, she was way more than sort of good. So good, that in a matter of seconds, I could feel the warmth rising up around us. This was going to work, I told myself. It had to.

When I judged the power of the spell to be at its peak, I pushed back from her and said, "All right, are you ready to go all the way this time?"

Which was a mistake, one which Mayumi immediately picked up on. "My, my, you're much bolder than I thought. The kiss wasn't enough for you?"

"Ha ha, sorry, I meant all the way to Tokyo. I don't want to have to carry you off of Mount Fuji or something this time."

"Wait, let me get the crutches they gave me." She hobbled over to the bed to get them, along with a bag of medications. "There! Let's go!"

"Uh, ok, but I think it's faded too much. We'll have to do it again."

She smiled. "Angling for another kiss, are you?"

I didn't reply, but simply wrapped her in my arms and kissed her. Now, if you've read this, you know just how limited my history of kissing is. Even so, I must have done an ok job – or at least took her sufficiently by surprise – as her eyes grew wide, and she murmured, "Mmmmmm," as she responded to my kiss.

Again, the warmth quickly enveloped us. This time, I didn't hesitate, but with my arm still around her to support her, I focused on the front door to my house, took three steps and ...

... And we were out in the middle of the street. A lone car screeched to a halt just short of us, horn blaring. The driver rolled down his window and shouted, "Where did you come from? I almost hit you!"

"Sorry, sorry!" I said, and helped Mayumi over to the sidewalk. There, I looked around and was relieved. This was my block, with my house only two doors down. Not perfect aim – in fact, barely short of disastrous – but we had made it!

I breathed a sigh of relief, which made me realize just how tense I had been. "So far so good," I said. "Or at least good enough. Now all I have to do is talk my parents into letting you stay here."

"I can help with that," she replied. "Here, hold my stuff."

She thrust her things over to me, crutches and all, then leaned against me for support while she reached around inside her clothes. She came up with a small bottle. "Good thing this didn't break when I fell." She opened it up, and dabbed a few drops of its contents here and there.

I caught a whiff of a familiar aroma. "Isn't that your hypno-perfume? What is that for?"

"Just trying to ease my reception a little."

She turned around to get her crutches from me, which gave me an intense dose of her perfume. Except –

"That perfume seems to have lost something," I said. "I'm not feeling much of an effect from it. I mean, it smells nice and all, but it's not like before."

She sighed. "Yes, I know. It's self-immunizing – it works really well the first time you're exposed to it, but after that, you tend to be resistant. But still, it's great for first impressions. That's what my grandpa sold it on."

"Your grandfather sold this?"

"Yes, in dilute form, to perfume companies. It's how our family fortune was made. But when they started imposing all these health and safety regulations, and requiring detailed chemical analyses, he had to stop. So now we just make enough for personal use."

"Interesting, but I don't want you seducing my parents."

She tapped me on the nose. "You know perfectly well magic can't create feelings that wouldn't have been there anyway. If it did that to you, well, that says more about you than about the perfume."

What it said about me was a subject I didn't want to get into, so I merely replied, "Whatever. Fine, let's go."

When we got to the door, I realized that my keys were with all my other stuff, back at Sae's place. Oh, well, it wasn't like I was going to be able to sneak Mayumi into the house anyway.

I tentatively knocked on the door, and was surprised when it immediately flew open, with my mom and dad standing there. My mom began, "Takeo, where have you been? It's after midnight! We were worried sick that – wait a second, who's this? And what happened to her?"

"Hi, Mom, Dad, yeah, uh, there have been some problems. This is Ryoko's cousin, Mayumi Matsura. She's from Osaka. She came to visit, but had a, uh, bad accident along the way, and then it turns out that Ryoko's family got, uh, called away on an, uh, emergency, and, uh ..." I trailed off, unable to come up with anything more.

"I see. Or at least I think I do. But why exactly is she with you? How is it you two met? And why are you –"

"Tamiko, that's enough," my dad interrupted. "Look at this poor girl – she can barely even stand! Let's get her inside and save the interrogation for later."

That was surprising enough, but even more so is when my mom's expression suddenly changed, and she replied, "Yes, of course. Please, Mayumi, was it? Please, come in. We'll help you."

And the two of them helped her inside and up the step, while I followed awkwardly behind. Inside, my mom asked, "Are you hungry, Mayumi-chan? Have you eaten?"

Hearing that reminded me that I had had nothing to eat since lunch, which seemed several geological eras ago. Wait, I realized, even longer than that, as I had been Sae when I had had lunch. I didn't know what Sae had eaten when she was me, but whatever it was, it wasn't nearly enough. So when Mayumi began the usual polite demurral, I quickly overrode it, "No need for that, Mayumi. Yes, Mom, we're starving – we missed dinner while we were at the hospital."

Mom seemed startled at the sound of my voice, like she had forgotten I was even there. But at least she did bring food out to the table. I immediately set to work devouring it. Mayumi, however, who presumably had eaten her own meals that day, only took a few bites.

Part of the reason she didn't eat much is that my parents kept peppering her with questions. Dad asked: Where was she from? Where was she going to school? Taking a year off, trying for a university in Tokyo? She could stay here with us! What field was she interested in? Oh, he knew some people in that, he could help her out. And on and on and on.

Gradually it dawned on me that he was hitting on her. In a way, I had to admire it – I'm no good at all at that sort of thing, as you no doubt have realized. But my admiration didn't keep me from also being thoroughly creeped out.

However, it didn't seem to bother Mom at all, as she had her own line of inquiry: Where had Mayumi gotten that dress? Did they have a store in Tokyo? We should go shopping together sometime! And there was this new cafe she wanted to try – was Mayumi interested? Having just been a high school girl myself, I understood perfectly well what Mom was doing.

In fact, they've both reverted to high school students, I thought. And rather blatant ones at that. I suppose it's because it's been so long since they were in high school, they had forgotten how to hide it. Hmm, from what Mayumi had said, the hypno-perfume hadn't exactly created this, but simply had brought out something that was already there. Great.

Finally, my mom said, "Oh, look at us, prattling on like this! You must be exhausted. Now where should we have you sleep tonight?"

"Uh, I was thinking she could sleep with Takako," I said.

Again, Mom seem startled to notice I was still there. "Takako? Oh, no, your sister's already asleep. And besides, look at how tall Mayumi-chan is! She'd never be comfortable in Takako's little bed."

"I agree," Dad said. "She'll have to sleep in Takeo's bed."

"M-my bed?" I said. Was he serious?

"Yes," Mom replied. "That's the only one that's suitable."

"You mean, you want her to sleep with me?"

Mom gave me a strange look. "What are you talking about? You're sleeping out here, on the sofa. Now come, Mayumi-chan, let's get you cleaned up and ready for bed." And Mom hustled her off to the bathroom, leaving me there with Dad.

There was an awkward silence, broken by Dad asking, "This Mayumi, she's not your girlfriend?"

"No, no, Sae's my girlfriend. Mayumi is Ryoko's cousin from Osaka, like I said."

"Too bad. Well, if you ever break up with the other one, we would love to have Mayumi as our daughter-in-law."

"I'll, uh, I'll keep that in mind." Not that I could forget all this if I tried.

Eventually everything got sorted out, Mayumi in my bed, me in the living room on the sofa, and my parents in their room. Now an unfortunate fact about our house layout is my parents' bedroom shares a wall with the living room, the very wall against which the sofa is placed. Which means that sound from there – that is, their room – carries through very well to here – that is, where I was attempting to sleep. Which meant that I knew exactly when the effects of the hypno-perfume wore off, as the two of them started first sniping at each other, then full-on arguing, about how ridiculous the other one had been, going gaga over this girl like that.

Gee, thanks, Mayumi, I thought. Yes, you were warmly received, to say the least, but I think we'd have been better off without the, uh, chemical assist. It would have been awkward, but I'm sure we still could have gotten them to accept you for the night.

Then, however, the sounds in the next room changed. The arguing stopped, to be replaced by ... oh. Moans and gasps and I did not want to think about what all else. Makeup sex, they call it. I tried putting the pillow over my head to block the noise, to little effect. Only after some interminable amount of time did it finally subside, and my exhaustion led me into blissful oblivion.

The next morning, Saturday, I awoke to find Mayumi sitting at the table eating breakfast. "Good morning!" she said. "Did you sleep well?"

I sighed. "There were some issues, but let's not get into that now. Anyone else up?"

"No, they're all asleep still. Oh, I borrowed some of your things. I hope you don't mind."

I noticed she was wearing my old sweatpants and shirt. I laughed. "Those look way better on you than they ever did on me. You're welcome to them."

"Thanks, they'll do for now, but this isn't really my style. Not to be insulting or anything, but I usually try to be more elegant."

"I understand. You still look good, though." I sat up and looked at her more closely. All her little cuts and bruises were gone, and her bandages were all off, aside from an elastic one wrapped around her ankle. "In fact, you look really good. Like almost 100% better than last night. How did you heal up so quickly?"

"Oh, that's another thing of yours I borrowed. I noticed you had an extra wand on your desk, so I used it for some healing spells. Unfortunately, the spells can only do so much for major injuries. So I'm still on the painkillers, if you want to take advantage of me."

"Ah, no thanks. But could you teach me those healing spells? That'd be great!"

She shrugged. "They're not really that powerful, but sure. Provided you let me keep this wand."

"You're not going to use it on me, are you?"

"What, don't you trust me?"

Now it was my turn to shrug. "Ryoko says I shouldn't, but I don't know, somehow I do. You're welcome to it. Sorry if it's not as nice as yours was. I based it off the only model I had."

"Wow, you actually made this? I'm impressed! It works pretty well, all in all. Maybe not the power boost of my old one, but more than enough for most spells."

At that moment, my sister showed up. "Morning. I – wait a second, who's this?"

"Oh, uh, morning, Takako," I said. "This is Mayumi, Mayumi Matsura. She's Ryoko's cousin – oh, wait, I guess you've never met Ryoko."

Takako looked at us both and shook her head. "I don't get it. 17 years – 17 years! – and nothing, but now, BAM! Three days in a row, and you bring home a different girl each day. How did you – hey, wait a second ... Some kids at school were saying there's a rumor you've been hypnotizing girls and making them do your will. I didn't believe it, but now ..."

Mayumi feigned shock. "Takeo! You – you hypnotized me? All those terrible, but very, very sexy things I did – those very, extremely, breathtakingly sexy things – you forced me into them? You monster!"

"Ha, ha, very funny," I replied. "The only one who's done any hypnotizing around here is you. And even that wasn't exactly hypnotizing."

The not-exactly-hypnotized then put in an appearance, looking rather sheepish. "Um, good morning," Mom said, while Dad merely grunted, not meeting any of our eyes.

Breakfast proceeded in near-total silence, until I finally said, "Oh, I have to call the club members together this morning. Mayumi's very interested in magic and would like to meet them. Also, we're going to take turns hosting Mayumi until Ryoko's family comes back, so you may not see her again after this."

"That's too bad," Mom said. "You're such a delightful young lady; we've loved hosting you," she added to Mayumi, a distinct lack of conviction in her voice.

"Why, thank you. And I'll never forget your gracious hospitality. You've all been so wonderful to me. Especially you, Takeo. You're like my guardian angel." Mayumi gave my arm a little hug, which caused Takako to roll her eyes, and my parents to look away in embarrassment.

"Yeah, uh, let me make some phone calls," I said, extricating myself with some difficulty.

I first called Sae, only to find out she had already set everything up. We were meeting in the clubroom at 10 am. "Oh, thank you, thank you, Sae," I said. "You're my guardian angel."

"What? No, don't say that kind of thing!"

"Sorry, sorry, but it's true. See you at 10. And uh, love you," I added in a whisper.

I turned back to the group at the table and said, "OK, we'll be meeting at the school at 10. Considering Mayumi's ankle, it'll take us a while to get there, so we'd better get going."

"Oh, no, we can't have her walking all the way with that ankle," Mom said. "Taichiro, darling, you'll drive them there, won't you?"

Dad merely grunted in response, but after breakfast, he motioned us outside, and we squeezed into his Suzuki wagon. I of course had Mayumi sit up front, the thoughtful thing to do, except that Dad studiously tried to avoid looking at her at all, a little difficult when he had to check for traffic at the intersections. When we arrived at school, he barely acknowledged our profuse thanks before zooming off.

"Your father seems a little out of sorts this morning," Mayumi observed.

"Yeah, it's kind of a, uh, morning-after situation."

"Morning after?"

"After an overdose of that perfume of yours."

"Hmm, yes, it did seem to have quite an effect on him. On both your parents, actually. I hope it didn't create too many difficulties for them afterward."

"It's ok, they found a way to, uh, work them out. But I'd prefer if you held off on that stuff in the future."

"Ah, so, you're jealous of other guys coming onto me," she said with a smirk. "Poor Takeo."

"Uh-huh. Anyway, we better head up to the club room. How's your ankle doing? I've got your crutches here, but I'm not sure how well they'll work on the stairs."

"That's ok. I'll just hold onto you, if you don't mind." And with that, she glommed onto my arm and leaned against me. "Mmm," she said. "Just what I needed – a big strong man to support me."

I knew perfectly well she was teasing me, but I still kind of liked it. Yes, Ryoko's right, I'm way too susceptible to this sort of thing. Oh, well. It wasn't entirely an act, though, as she stumbled a bit on the stairs, so I put an arm around her to steady her, while she held on to my shoulder.

And so it was that the two of us, more or less arm in arm, reached the top of the stairs and rounded the corner – straight into Sae.

"Takeo!" Sae said. "You're here! The others are – wait a minute, what's going on?"

"Oh, Sae, finally! I –" I suddenly realized what this would look like. "Yeah, uh, you see, Mayumi – I mean, Matsura-san – her ankle – the stairs and, uh ..."

Fortunately, Mayumi stepped in to fill out my slightly incomplete explanation. "Oh, it's the famous Sae!" She turned to me and said, "Please, hand me my crutches, Takakura-san, I can take it from here," then turned back to Sae and added, "Don't worry, your kindly boyfriend was simply helping me up the stairs. I would never try to steal him away from you. Not that I could – he's sooooo devoted to you. Sigh. I can only hope to someday have a boyfriend with that level of devotion. But I doubt I ever will – I just don't seem to be the sort of person to inspire it."

"Uhhhh, ok ..." Sae was understandably not inclined to get involved in this line of discussion. "Like I was saying, the others are waiting in the clubroom. Well, all except Akane – she has a photoshoot this morning."

We made our way down there slowly, Mayumi perhaps exaggerating her difficulties in walking. I wasn't quite sure what she was up to. Was she doing all this just to defend me, and if so, why? Oh well, I'm not good at understanding any woman; one like Mayumi is well beyond my capabilities.

Ryoko was there, wearing one of our school uniforms, presumably borrowed from Sae. She was not happy to see us. "Well, well, if it isn't the viper. You've got a lot of gall, showing your face around here."

"Good morning to you, too, Ryo-chan," Mayumi replied. "That outfit looks nice on you. So grown up!"

"Grown up? I'll grow you up! I mean, I'll, uh, ..." Ryoko trailed off, for once at at loss for words.

Aburatsubo was also less than totally pleased. "Takeo-kun, are you going to be making a habit of dragging random women into our club? I'll admit I'm not totally innocent on that score myself, but at least the ones I've attracted actually go to our school."

"Guys, guys, enough!" I said. "I assume Sae and Ryoko have brought you up to speed on the situation. Now I know Matsura-san has had a somewhat questionable history, but that's in the past. What matters now is that she needs our help. And that's why we got into magic, right? To help other people?"

"Takeo's right," Sae said. "Look at how injured she is – though admittedly she did that to herself when she tried to take Takeo prisoner, and she looks a lot better now, almost like she was never really injured in the first place, and, come to think of it, how exactly was it that you two teleported here? You didn't – was it the, um, the kissing thing? And, um, are those your clothes she's wearing? How did she ..."

"Ah, yeah, uh, we'll get into the other things later," I said. "But, in terms of her injuries, it turns out Matsura-san knows healing magic. It's only partially effective – her ankle injury and concussion are still there. But I figure she could teach us that, and in exchange, we'll help protect her until all this reality TV nonsense is over. Now, she stayed at my house last night, but there were some, uh, difficulties with my parents, so I think it would be better if somebody else hosted her tonight. Would anyone like to volunteer?"

Ryoko immediately said, "Don't you put her with me! I don't trust her one bit! And don't you try to talk me into it, Sae!"

"It doesn't matter whether or not I trust her," Nanaka said. "You've seen our place – we don't have one square meter of extra space. Unless she's willing to sleep with the cabbages, there's no way we can take her."

"Hmm, I guess we'll have to try calling Aikawa-kun after her photoshoot," I said. "She might like having a roommate, I think."

"I'll take her," Aburatsubo suddenly said.

"Huh? What? You?" I asked, startled. "You want to take her in? Why?"

"Well, she needs a place to stay, and we have plenty of room," he replied. "And nothing would make my mother happier than if I brought home a woman."

"Wh-what are you saying?" Nanaka seemed disturbed.

"Nothing. Merely being a good host. You know perfectly well it won't go beyond that. Unlike what can happen with Takeo-kun."

"Ahem," I said. "And just what do you mean by that?"

He smiled knowingly. "Asks the man who just spent an entire day in her body," indicating Sae.

Mayumi was astounded. "A whole day in her? You mean you two had sex all day long?"

"What? No, no, no!" I said. "That's not it at all! There wasn't any sex – well, not really. It's just, there was a teleportation, uh, accident. So we spent the day in each other's bodies. That's what I mean when I said I had just been a girl."

"A teleportation accident? You mean I could have ended up in your body when we kissed?" Mayumi seemed even more disturbed by that.

"No, no, that was a very, uh, unusual circumstance."

"Wait, so you did kiss her?" Sae asked.

"Yes, well, not a, uh, kiss-type kiss, it was just one of the, uh, elements of the spell that I had to, you know, employ ..."

My babbling explanation was interrupted by a white mist which quickly filled the room. Except, I soon realized, it wasn't a mist – it was that everything was turning white, room, furniture, even ourselves, a pure uniform, unvarying white that effectively rendered us –

"It's the snow blindness spell!" Mayumi's voice rang out in the sea of white. "Kaiku nevi – it makes everything look white, so it's like you're snow-blind. You can't see anything but whiteness!"

"Huh? But why? And how do we stop it?" I asked.

"They must have gotten suspicious and are after me now. Stopping it, all we have to do is get outside the spell's radius – its effective area is small. But they're no doubt ready to capture us if we try."

"So we should just stay put?"

"No, there are special glasses which block the spell. I don't have any, but I'm sure they do, and they'll be in here to seize us shortly."

"Takeo! Why don't we just teleport out?" Sae said. "Go someplace they don't know about, and we'll have our sight back."

"That's brilliant, Sae!" I said. "How about the place we had our first date? Let's all get together and go!"

Unfortunately, I had forgotten where all the things in the room were, and immediately began bumping into chairs and tables and whatnot. "Ack, I don't think I can make my way to you without tripping over everything. Let's just stay where we are, grab the people near us, and go over there in groups."

I reached out to where I remembered Mayumi had been, and was greeted with a hand, which I grasped. Then waving my other arm around, I encountered –

"Hey! That's my boobs you're touching!" Ryoko cried.

"Sorry, sorry. Just grab my hand and we'll go. Sae! I've got Ryoko and Mayumi – er, Matsura. Do you have the others?"

"Um, yes, but are we really going to do the, uh, kiss thing?"

"It's just part of the spell, remember?" I heard what sounded like footsteps echoing in the hallway. "They're almost here! Quick! Let's go!"

I pulled my two toward me, but Mayumi, evidently still not secure on her feet, stumbled and fell into me. I caught her, but that propelled me into Ryoko. Through some miracle, our lips met, which I figured was as good a kiss opportunity as I could hope for, so I pressed my lips hard against hers while at the same time sticking one foot out in an attempt not to fall on top of her. The result was the three of us spun around, and I staggered backward, trying desperately to hang onto them while continuing the kiss.

This was not the right mood for the spell, to say the least, but at that moment, Ryoko in turn tripped and fell against me. The crush of her breasts revived that certain part of my mind, which recalled the image of her in that nurse's outfit, and a rush of warmth ensued, surrounding us as I continued to stagger back under the weight of both girls, until I fell heavily to the ground, both of them on top of me.

Wait, ground? I looked, which is when I realized I could look – the utter blankness had disappeared, to be filled in with a typical damp, somewhat forlorn looking Tokyo winter landscape.

Mayumi, who had ended up on top of our little pile, was the first to get up. "Ugh, traveling with you is an experience," she said. "At least I won't need a hospital visit this time."

I turned to look at her, but all I saw was Ryoko's face. She was squarely on top of me, and apparently had gotten a little stunned, what with being crushed between Mayumi and me.

Ryoko shook her head and pushed herself up on me. "Your kissing technique could use some work, Takeo," she said. "I think my lip got cut in the fall."

"Uh, sorry," I said. "Usually I can prepare a little first. But hey, I took you somewhere this time."

Mayumi had stood up, holding onto a lamppost. "Huh? Takeo? Somewhere is right. This is where you took Sae on your first date?"

Ah, she was no doubt impressed at such a high-class restaurant. "Yes, well, I know it's a little unusual for high school students, but with someone like Sae, an establishment like this ..."

"You mean, one which doesn't check ages?"

"Check ages? Huh?" I turned to look, and saw we were not lying on the ground outside the North Star, but rather the ... oh. The Funabashi Love Hotel.

"I'll admit, you and Ryoko look like you're ready for this place, but they'd probably prefer you did this inside rather than outside."

That was when Ryoko and I realized she was sitting on top of me in a very suggestive position – cowgirl, I believe they call it. "Ack!" Ryoko cried, and scrambled to get off of me, swinging a leg around and conking me in the head with her foot in the process.

When we finally untangled ourselves and got to our feet, I said, "Sorry, I guess my aim was a little off again. It wasn't here, it was ..." I looked around, and finally spotted the restaurant, about a block down and on the other side of the street. "It was that restaurant there, the North Star. Very nice."

"That's great," said Ryoko, "but we're ignoring the real issue. Which is how did the Mystery House know we were at your school? And the answer to that is clear – she betrayed us!" She pointed at Mayumi. "I knew you were a snake!"

"No, that's not true!" Mayumi objected. "I didn't tell them anything! I couldn't – I mean, I didn't even know where that school was!"

"Yeah, right. Then how do you explain how they managed to track us down?"

"I don't know, but it wasn't me!"

I hate when girls argue, so I had to intervene. "It may have been my fault. Yesterday, at the mansion, they got a good look at Sae and me in our school uniforms. It wouldn't have been too hard for them to figure out which school it was."

Ryoko was not convinced. "Then how was it they knew we'd be there on a Saturday morning? And which room we'd be in? Your school is huge – that blindness spell could only work on a small part of it."

I thought some more, then came up with, "Mayumi, you said there was a tracking device on that broom I used back in Osaka, right?"

"Yes, and?"

"Is it possible they put one on you? Without you knowing it?"

"I don't think so. And I'm wearing different clothes than yesterday anyway, so I don't see how I could still have it."

"Takeo's right. That's got to be it," Ryoko said. "Stand still, Matcha, I'm going to find it." She pulled out a wand and intoned,

"Semita okuruta, nunko lokui!"

A bright, angry red glow surrounded Mayumi, then narrowed down until it was just a band around her, um, chest.

"It's in your boobs!" Ryoko cried. "Did you get implants or something?"

"What? No, of course not! Mine are perfect – I'm not going to change them!"

"Perfect? Your puny things?"

"Wait, wait," I interrupted, not comfortable with the breast size discussion. "Mayumi, are you wearing the same bra as yesterday? It could just be in that."

"Oh, yeah, I guess I am. I mean, it's not like you had a bra I could change into."

"We gotta get that bra offa ya!" Ryoko declared. "Quick, before they track us down again!" And she reached for Mayumi's top.

"What? No, no, I'm not gonna strip out here! Ack, now ya got me doing the accent again!"

Ryoko glanced at the hotel sign. "Fine, then rent us a room in here, rich girl, and we can do it in private."

"What? In this place?"

"Sure, they're usually pretty cheap this time of day. Just ask for an hour 'rest' time."

Mayumi looked at her skeptically. "You seem pretty familiar with these places."

"Oh, uh, yeah, my dad ran one for a while while he was between jobs."

And so we entered, Ryoko in the lead, with Mayumi, who had lost her crutches on the trip here, holding onto my arm in the rear. There was an old man at the desk who looked at us curiously. "Schoolgirl?" he asked, nodding at Ryoko.

"It's a fetish of his," she replied, pointing at me. "How much for an hour?"

"4000 yen."

"C'mon, be serious."

"There's three of you."

"Which is three more than you'd normally have this time of day. 1000."

"1000? Now who's not being serious?"

"Professional courtesy? My dad ran the Purple Princess, over in Koiwa."

"Really?" He looked Ryoko up and down, then shrugged. "All right, I can't go below 1700, but I'll throw in these." And he slapped a package of condoms on the counter, along with a key.

"Fine," Ryoko said. "Pay the man, Matcha."

Mayumi looked at the two of them suspiciously, but pulled out the money and took the key. Ryoko scooped up the condoms with a grin and stuck them in my pants pocket. "There you go, lover boy," she said.

You may have heard about fancy love hotels set up like castles or spaceships or underwater dwellings. Not this one; while the outside had the appearance of a traditional ryokan, presumably to blend in with the neighborhood better, the inside was fairly plain and utilitarian. Ah, well, it wasn't like we needed much.

Once we were inside the room, Ryoko immediately pulled off Mayumi's coat, then yanked the sweatshirt over her head. "All right, now, let's have that bra."

"Wait, wait, I can't strip in front of him!" Mayumi objected. "Even if he was a girl yesterday, he's not one today."

"OK, fine, I'll just –" and Ryoko took the sweatshirt and stuffed it over my head.

There was then some commotion, followed by Ryoko repeating the Semita spell, followed by sounds of puzzlement. "Takeo, come take a look at this," Ryoko said.

She pulled the shirt off my head, but Mayumi shrieked, "Wait! I'm not covered up!" So I turned away and closed my eyes, while she wiggled back into the sweatshirt.

I turned back, and looked at the bra which Ryoko had spread out on the bed. "Here, watch this," she said, and one more time repeated, "Semita okuruta, nunko lokui!"

The bra was surrounded by a red glow, which gradually narrowed down to – the entire bra. Every bit of it glowed red, until the spell faded and it returned to its former color. Which was black with some tiny red flowers embroidered on it, in case you wanted to know. Very pretty.

"See, it's like the entire thing is the transmitter. Mayumi, where did you get this?"

"I don't remember, I've had it for a while. Probably from Trèfle, that's where I usually like to shop."

"Trèfle? Wow. Well, their stuff is expensive, but I don't think it's because they put transmitters in them. Somebody must have gotten hold of your underwear at some point and did this."

"Messing with my underwear? Ew!"

"Yeah, well, I don't know how to undo this. It's like it's woven through the whole thing. We're just going to have to leave it here."

"Leave it here? But it's one of my favorites! And I can't go around without a bra on!"

"Why not? It's not like this was holding up much of anything."

"Hey, c'mon!"

"Girls, girls, let's not argue," I said. "Mayumi, we'll just get you another bra, ok? I'll even pay for it." I had my wallet back (Sae had brought my stuff with her), and was feeling expansive.

She smiled. "You sure about that? This one cost 8200 yen, you know."

8200? Yikes! "Uh, maybe we could go halfsies?"

She laughed. "Don't worry, I don't need your money. Besides, if you helped pay for it, I'd have to give you a turn wearing it. And you'd stretch it all out of shape."

"Uh, yeah, fine. Let's get out of here and go find the others. Hopefully they won't see us coming out of a love hotel and start asking questions."

Outside, though, no one was there. We walked down to the restaurant and checked all around, but there was no sign of them. "That's odd," I said. "I hope the House of Mystery didn't catch them."

"It was Sae doing the teleportation though, right?" Ryoko said. "I don't wanna disparage your girlfriend, but they could be anywhere."

"I suppose. Let me check which way they are, at least." I did the dowsing rod trick, but my wand just stood there, balanced on end, showing no indication of any direction.

"Huh. Are they in heaven?" Mayumi asked.

I considered. "You know, they might be. Sort of."

"What? I wasn't being serious!"

"I know, but see, so far as I understand this kiss spell thing, you can only go to places one of you has been before. Which usually wouldn't be any kind of heaven, of course, but yesterday, to switch Sae and me back, the House of Spirits sent us to Akhet, the first step on the Egyptian passage to the afterlife. Maybe everything turning white reminded her of that and she accidentally transported there."

"That's not possible," Ryoko objected. "Akhet, that's only a spiritual realm. You can't have a physical body there."

I shrugged. "You know Sae. Just because it's not possible doesn't mean she didn't do it. Anyway, let me see if I can contact her and get her out of wherever she is."

Just at that moment, though, a familiar-looking pair of cars – a police car followed by a black limousine – came screaming down the street, stopping in front of the hotel we had recently vacated.

"Yikes, they're here already!" Ryoko said. "We've got to leave, before they spot us!"

"I know where to go!" Mayumi said. "Quick, Takeo!"

I grabbed Ryoko's hand, while Mayumi wrapped her arms around me and kissed me hard. Something felt different about the way she pressed against me, which I realized was because she was now braless. The close contact with her almost-uncovered breasts had, let's say, a dramatic effect on me. The warmth washed over us, and with a flash, our surroundings disappeared, to be replaced by – something else.

We were surrounded by tall, elegant-looking buildings on all sides, with a couple of even taller buildings visible behind them. "Where are we?" I asked. "Downtown?"

"Roppongi," Mayumi replied. "There's a really cute lingerie shop here I wanted to try out. But could you maybe stop rubbing against me? It's a little embarrassing."

"Oops, sorry." I backed away from her and instead offered my arm for her to hold onto again.

"There it is!" she said. She pointed to a storefront in the lower level of one of the buildings, its name written in very ornate English letters.

"De-vi-ne-resse," I sounded out. "That's a strange name."

"Oh, it's French or something. Anyway, I thought Ryoko and I could go shopping, while you try to figure out what happened to your girlfriend. What do you say, Ryoko? My treat, of course."

"Your treat? Seriously?"

"Of course. It's the least I can do to make it up to my favorite cousin. Plus you really do need something that fits better than that thing you have on."

"Oh, yeah, I borrowed it from Sae, too. I adjusted the straps but, well, we're not the same size. At all."

Inside, the salesclerk, who was evidently quite used to befuddled boyfriends, sat me in a chair in a corner while she led the two cousins through all kinds of frilly stuff. There was lots of oohing and ahhing, and declarations that this or that was just perfect for the other one. I breathed a sigh of relief. As I've said before, girls arguing with each other is not something I handle well, so I was glad they appeared to have handled it themselves.

Now all I had to do was find Sae and the others. The object visualization spell was the obvious choice. Hmm, what would be a good object to choose? Oh, who am I kidding, in a place like this, all I was going to think about was bras. Fine, fine, I'll just use Sae's bra again.

I made sure no one was looking, then pulled out my wand and intoned the spell. Given the odd result of the dowsing test, I expected it to take a while to make a connection. So I was surprised when I was immediately rewarded with a view of – wait a second, that's not Sae and the others, that's ... Oh. It was Ryoko and Mayumi, presumably in the dressing room, both trying on bras and so both momentarily ... topless.

I quickly shut down the spell before they noticed my presence. What had gone wrong? Oh, right, they had just said that Ryoko was wearing one of Sae's bras. Presumably not the one I had worn as Sae, but then I wasn't sure how selective the spell was. Maybe it was like when one radio station with a strong signal overwhelms another that's nearby on the dial, even if you've got the radio tuned to the other one.

I'd have to choose something else. But what? Come to think of it, what had Sae been wearing this morning? I had only seen her briefly, but there must have been something I could focus on. Not any part of her school uniform, as that would just put me back in with Ryoko.

Her hair ribbon? Had she been wearing that? I gave it a try, thinking about when I had put it on the previous morning, and ran the spell again. This time, though, all I got was Sae's (empty) bedroom.

Wait, what was I thinking? Her wand! The one I had made for her with great care after "Celery-chan" had broken her previous one! True, Mayumi also had one of my wands now, but I knew every little detail of Sae's, as I had tried extra-hard to make it absolutely perfect for her. Plus I had added reinforcement to the shaft to try to keep it from breaking again.

I concentrated hard on an exact picture of the wand, and did the spell one more time. Yes, a flicker of Mayumi in the changing room did appear briefly, but I tuned it out, just like fiddling with a radio dial to get the exact station you want. And then ... nothing. Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing ... wait, was that a glimmer of light in the nothingness? I tried mentally directing myself toward that. Gradually, reluctantly, it grew brighter, closer, coming into focus and –

BAM! Suddenly Sae and the other two appeared before me, clear as day. "Takeo! Finally! I was searching and searching for you forever and ever, well, not really forever, but at least a long long time, but I don't know how long because there's no way to tell how much time has passed here, and I had just about given up when I decided to give it one more try and saw a little bit of light, so I went for that, and – um, Takeo, why are you surrounded by a bunch of girls' underwear?"

Sae's rush of words had left me momentarily speechless, but I finally came up with, "Sae! I'm, uh, see, we figured out that the Mystery House guys were tracking, uh, Matsura-san through a transmitter they had put in her, uh, bra, so we had to get rid of that one and buy her a new one. So that's what's happening now. We're at some store in Roppongi. But where are you? What is that place?" The room(?) they were in seemed hazy and ill-defined, but at the same time was lit up by an unearthly glow.

"Oh, um, yes, when we were going to leave the clubroom, I figured I would just have to kiss Aburatsubo-senpai, even though I know he doesn't really like me, but he's a good person, and I knew he would understand, but, um, somehow I got turned around and I, um, that is, it was Nanaka and me that, um, kissed, and I was surprised, but also it was kind of nice, but then I realized that I had to get hold of Aburatsubo-senpai, so I reached for his hand, but, um, I grabbed something else instead, something I really shouldn't have, and we were all startled and I don't know what exactly happened next, but somehow we ended up ... here. Which I thought was that magic mansion I went to after, um, Jinno, but now I don't know ... Anyway, I've tried and tried, but we can't seem to leave."

"Oh." There was a lot to process in that flood of words, much of which I'd rather not. But that didn't matter now, what was important was, "Don't worry, Sae. I'm here now. Let's get you out of there."

I stood up and reached out to them, the three of them grabbed my hands, and – pulled so hard I tumbled forward and fell down at their feet, while the portal closed behind me.

I quickly got up again. "Ha ha, oops, you were a little more eager than I expected. But it's fine, we'll –" At that point, I noticed Sae was on the verge of tears. "Sae, what's wrong?"

"Now we'll never get out! We've tried all kinds of things, but nothing can get past the barrier from the inside! I thought, if we could reach you on the outside ... but now you're on the inside, too!" And she burst into tears.

"Sae, Sae ..." I wrapped my arms around her and held her close to me. "Don't cry. I'm here. We'll get you out. We did it before, after all."

"Yes, but you were outside, and ..."

"Don't worry," I repeated, stroking her hair. "We'll just have to try a little harder, that's all. And I seem to have gotten better at this teleportation thing myself, so I can contribute more this time."

Sae looked up at me, tears still streaming down her face, but now with a half-hopeful look on her face. "You really think we can do it?"

"I know we can. Because –" and here my voice dropped to a whisper, "I love you, and our love is stronger than any barrier."

As I had hoped, that line again had an immediate effect on her, as her tears stopped and her eyes grew wide. I then went for the kiss.

I put all my pent-up passion into it, everything that had been building while I had dealt with Mayumi and Ryoko, girls who were certainly beautiful and wonderful in their own way, but who were not my Sae. My Sae, who I was now going to free from this prison. After all, if my magic was strong enough to travel halfway from Osaka to Tokyo against the will of what was clearly a very powerful witch in her own right, what couldn't it do when paired with that of perhaps the most powerful witch there ever was?

I could feel the warmth boiling up around us, stronger and brighter than ever before. This would work, I thought. This would do it. I broke off the kiss, gathered everyone together, and said, "All right, let's go." We took one, two, three steps and –

BAM! Knocked against some unseen barrier and fell back on our behinds.

"It didn't work," Aburatsubo observed. "Too bad."

"I don't get it," I said. "There was enough power there to take us to the moon. Why didn't it work? I must be missing something ..." I trailed off, as I remembered something Mayumi had said the night before, about the details of the risks with the kiss spell were "X-rated." Oh.

I got back to my feet and helped the others stand up as well. "All right, I know what to do now," I said. "Everyone, listen up. I need you to do exactly as I say. Sae, you stand here. Keep your arms down and close your eyes." I got her positioned, then stood facing her. "All right, Nakatomi-kun, Aburatsubo-kun, I need you two to stand behind us, holding onto our shoulders ... Right, like that. Now both of you, close your eyes as well. OK, now, I need all of you to stay just like this. Hold on no matter what, keep your eyes closed no matter what. When it happens, it'll be very quick, so you have to be prepared. Got it?" Everyone nodded. "Good. Here goes."

I then whispered to the closed-eye Sae, "All right, sweetie. I'm going to kiss you again now ..." Which I did, as tenderly as I could manage. Again the warmth rose up around us, perhaps not as hot as before, but I was pretty sure that part didn't matter. When I was satisfied it was going well, I reached down and undid my belt and the top snap on my pants as silently as I could.

Not quite silently enough, though, as Aburatsubo said, "Takeo-kun, what's going on? It sounds like you're –"

I didn't answer, but instead grabbed Sae's hand and thrust it down into my pants. She shrieked, muffled by our continued kiss, then there was a blinding flash of light as the room around us seemed to disintegrate, and we all tumbled down ...

... onto the floor of the changing room at Devineresse, where Ryoko and Mayumi were still in the midst of trying on bras and hence still in the midst of being topless. And this time, they couldn't help but see me.

They shrieked, and pelted me with underwear. "Sorry, sorry! My aim was a little off again!" I said. I attempted to struggle to my feet to leave. Unfortunately, I had forgotten that Sae's arm was still trapped inside my pants, so this had the effect of pulling my pants down around my knees. I managed to disentangle her, and was in the process of redoing my belt when the salesclerk entered.

"What is going on? What do you think you're doing in here? Out, out, both of you! Before I call the police!" She yanked Aburatsubo and me out of the room and kicked us out of the store.

We collapsed onto a bench out in the plaza. Aburatsubo sighed and then said, "I'm sorry to have to say this, Takeo-kun, but I'm less than totally enamored with this method of traveling with you. And with Sawanoguchi, for that matter."

"Yeah, sorry. I've gotten better with the teleportation in terms of the distance traveled, but I still need to work on arriving at the correct endpoint."

"Mm-hmm. Though I rather doubt arriving at the correct spot would have helped much this time, given that you were showing up with Sawanoguchi's hand down your pants. That's what you figured out, right? That the crotch grab was a required part of the spell?"

"Yes, Mayumi had said there were some X-rated aspects of the spell, and I guessed this was one of them. I think that's one of the reasons the spell isn't normally taught."

"I can imagine. Though I suspect you found this a more enjoyable experience than I did."

"Uh, well, I mean, under the right circumstances, it can be ..."

"Oh, I understand. Intellectually at least. But I'm afraid in both our cases, Sawanoguchi found it rather traumatizing. I think you will have to apologize to her."

"Sigh. You're right. I would have told her beforehand, but I thought the surprise might be a required part of it. Also, it's a, uh, somewhat difficult thing to ask for. Especially in front of you two."

"That's all very well and good, but Sawanoguchi is the one you'll have to convince, not me."

It took a while before I had a chance to do that. A very long while. It was only after another half hour or so that the female two-thirds of our group emerged, all of them carrying cute little shopping bags.

"You owe me, Takeo," Mayumi said. "After the trauma you put these girls through, I had no choice but to treat them all."

My face grew pale. If a single bra was 8200 yen ... "Uh, could I maybe pay you back in installments?"

She laughed. "No, no, I'm not having you pay for our things. Instead, you're taking us to the cafe over there." She pointed to the Shinbun Cafe on the other side of the plaza. "It's a little noisy, but they have the best manju. Oh, and in exchange, here's a little something for you." She handed me one of her bags.

"Uh, thanks, but I don't really need ..." I peeked inside, and it was the clothes of mine she had borrowed, including, I noticed, a pair of my boxers. The realization that my underwear had been in contact with her – with the part of the body you wear underwear on – gave me a funny feeling. As did the realization that this meant she wasn't wearing said clothes. So what exactly was she wearing?

"I don't usually buy outer clothing at a place like that, but they had this outfit on sale and I just couldn't resist," she said, opening up her coat to reveal a beautiful black dress decorated with small red flowers.

It was an excellent match to the bra she had left behind, I thought. I was about to remark on that, when I realized that it wouldn't be very appropriate to talk about the fact I had seen her underwear in front of the others. Especially Sae.

Thinking of Sae also reminded me I needed to make amends. I caught up with her while we walked to the cafe and said, "Sae, I'm really, really sorry about – well, about all of this. I would have told you what I was planning, except, uh ..."

"Except the surprise was part of it, I know," she replied, not looking directly at me. "Yes, I figured it out afterward. Don't worry, Takeo. It was embarrassing, but at least we're back. I understand. It's ok. It's just ..." and her voice trailed off.

The tone of her voice indicated it wasn't really that ok. I offered, "Well, at least we shouldn't have to go through that again," but she said nothing in reply.

Inside the cafe, I ordered a platter of assorted manju and a couple of pots of tea, and brought them over to the group. I was expecting thanks, or at least some sort of acknowledgment, but instead everyone was staring at one of the television monitors that were scattered around the place. (As the name suggests, this was a reporters' hangout, and TVs running news were everywhere.)

I looked up and saw – huh? The Funabashi Love Hotel? It was surrounded by police cars – real ones, though the fake one and the black limousine were still there as well. The sound was off on the TVs, but the crawl at the bottom was saying "... of Yamashita Trading, could not explain why pursuing teenage girl at love hotel ... Girl left hotel fifteen minutes earlier, along with two other teenagers ... Yamashita accompanied by three aides, two in false police uniforms ... Secret affair? Yamashita's wife claims no knowledge ..."

"What's going on?" I asked.

Mayumi seemed very amused. "It looks like Mr. Yamashita got himself in big trouble. He barged into the hotel demanding 'Where is the girl?' and he and his guys even ransacked the room we had been in. Meanwhile, of course, the owner called the police, who arrested the lot of them. Mr. Yamashita didn't help his case when he kept ranting about how his girl ran away with this boy and he had to punish her."

"Wait a minute," Sae said. "You were in this love hotel together?"

"Um, it was just for Mayumi," I said, forgetting that I was trying to stick to her family name. "So she could have privacy while she took off that bra with the transmitter. Nothing else happened; I didn't see anything."

"No, you didn't," Mayumi agreed. "That must be why you showed up in our changing room, to get a second chance at that."

"What? No, no, it's like I said, my aim was off!" I turned to Sae. "Believe me, I didn't intend for any of this!"

"It's ok," she repeated in a low voice, then turned away.

The conversation went on, Ryoko in particular being excited that her House would now be winning the reality show contest by default. While they were chatting about this, Mayumi's cell phone rang.

"Hello? ... Yes, I just saw ... Yes, we did. Takeo thought it would be an interesting plot twist. I don't think he expected it to be quite this interesting though! ... Yes, he's the same one that was at the mansion ... Really? I understand, but they'll be very disappointed ... What? Another approach? ... Well, yes, we happen to be in Roppongi right now ... In a half hour? I'll check with them, but I'm sure we can manage ... Why thank you, that's very kind ... See you then!"

She turned to us and said, "As you may have guessed, that was the producers for 'Magic On The Air.' It seems with the scandal associated with Mr. Yamashita, they've decided not to continue with the current plotline."

"What? Aww, they're canceling?" Ryoko was upset. "What about the prize money, then?"

"No, they're not canceling; they're going in a new direction. So they want us to come over to their studio here to discuss things."

"Us? You mean, you and me?"

"Actually, they want all of us. One of their news people apparently knew about your high school magic club from that alien business a while back, and now they want all of us for some sort of teen magic series."

"There's still money, right?"

Mayumi shrugged. "I guess so. I didn't ask about that part. We'll find out."

And so it was that twenty-five minutes later, we trooped over to the offices of W–– TV. (I signed a confidentiality agreement, so I'm not supposed to mention the name, but it's not like you couldn't figure it out.) An enthusiastic young-ish guy, Itsuki I––, greeted us.

"It's the world saviors!" he said. "Yes, the reporters Minowa and Yoshimoto work for our parent company, so we know all about your exploits. So let me say welcome, welcome! And I have some exciting news for you!"

"Does it involve money?" Ryoko asked. "Like, 1 million yen?"

He seemed slightly taken aback, but quickly recovered. "Potentially, yes! That possibility certainly exists!"

"And zero yen? Does that possibility also exist?"

"Let's not worry about those details just yet. Now, as you've heard, there's been a slight issue with the Yamashitas ..."

"So, is Mr. Yamashita actually going to jail?" Mayumi asked. "Not that I'd be too broken up over it, but that's probably more than he deserves."

"Aha, yes, as a courtesy, we did have a chat with the authorities, and they've agreed to drop charges. It is, however, a fortuitous circumstance for us, as we can now remove the Yamashita clan under the morals clause in their contract. Which will allows us to instead take things in a different direction.

"You see, while we've been getting some spectacular footage – that bit at the Yamashita mansion yesterday, really amazing stuff, I wish you could tell me how you did it – it's unfortunately left half of our test audience cold. The female half, to be specific. Comments like, 'Boring! Yet more explosions,' 'Nothing but special effects,' 'Where's the human element?' For a niche program like ours, we can't afford to write off half our potential audience.

"The one thing that piqued their interest was when Mr. Takeo here kissed – I'm sorry, help me with your name ..."

"Um, I'm Sae. Sae Sawanoguchi," she replied in a low voice, then looked down again.

"Pleased to meet you, Miss Sae. Now, when we saw that, we knew we had a winner – teen romance is a perpetual ratings draw. I was a little worried about the subsequent footage we received, of Mr. Takeo making out with Miss Mayumi at the train station –"

"Wait, that was filmed? How?" I demanded.

"Um, they had me set up a camera in the alcove beforehand," Mayumi explained. "I also had it with me when we fought on the mountain, except I lost it when I fell. But I guess they already got the video."

"Yes, we recut it so the kissing comes after the fight," Itsuki said. "We're creating a narrative where Mr. Takeo and the Temptress fight, but then he falls for her, and –"

"'The Temptress'?" I interrupted again. "Mayumi, you told them that name?"

Mayumi looked embarrassed. "Well, I let it slip once, and they liked it, so ..."

"Yes, for proper drama, you need a proper villainess," Itsuki said. "But you also need a proper villain. And that's where you come in, Mr. Takeo."

"Me? A villain?"

"Yes, we were a little afraid that you going for another girl would alienate our audience, but quite the contrary. 'I knew he was a rat,' one of them said. 'One look at him, and you could tell there was something dishonest there.' Now, I know everyone wants to be the hero, but villains are often our most popular characters, and you will make an ideal one."

"But – but – it's not true! Yes, I kissed Mayumi, but that's just because I had to for the, uh, the situation. Sae's the one I love!"

He smiled. "Mr. Takeo, there's a saying in this business that the only 'reality' in reality TV is in the name. Or, put another way, there's nothing 'real' about reality TV. We go with what works with the audience, not with the boring truth. But don't worry, you will not be betraying your beloved Miss Sae."

"I won't?"

"No. Let me give a little background here. In our business, there's something called the 'Q score.' It measures how appealing someone is in a particular role. The higher the Q score of your cast, the better your chance for ratings success. Now, the role is key – Albert Einstein scores very highly as a genius, but we would never cast him as the lead in, say, a romantic comedy."

"Especially since he's dead," I replied.

"He is?" He seemed confused by my revelation. "Uh, anyway, as I've implied, we found your Q score as the hero somewhat disappointing. People felt, there's something hiding behind those glasses, something not right."

"I could have told you that," Nanaka said.

"Um, yes, quite. But now, as the villain, you score quite well. By contrast, your colleague here, Mr." – he glanced at a sheet he had – "ah, yes, Ayanojo, scores very well as the hero, but the audience could not accept him as any sort of villain. 'He's so dreamy,' one of them remarked. 'He could never do anything bad. And even if he did, it would still be good.'

"So, the male side of our Q equation is straightforward, but the female side is more complicated. The villainess question was easily answered, as Miss Mayumi tests spectacularly well in that role. The heroine, though ... While Miss Sae here scores very well as a sympathetic and likable figure, audiences had trouble accepting a romance between her and Mr. Ayanojo here as our hero."

"I could have told you that," Aburatsubo said.

"Ah, all right. On the other hand, while audiences did accept Miss Nanaka as a match for Mr. Ayanojo, they had trouble with the notion of Mr. Takeo betraying her, as they couldn't believe she'd have ever taken up with him in the first place."

"I could have told you that," I offered sheepishly.

"Yes, uh, ok. Now Miss Mayumi did test well as the heroine – she seems one of those destined to do well in any role ..."

"I could have told you that," Mayumi said with a smirk.

"Uh, yes, but of course, she was already our ideal villainess. We did try for – hmm, it seems she is not here, Miss Akane – but after talking with her agent, it appears impossible to schedule her ever."

"We could have told you that," all of us said together.

He put up a hand. "Fine, fine, fine. Anyway, in the end, it did not matter, as the one who tested best as the heroine was Miss Ryoko. 'Plucky and determined,' 'Small but mighty,' 'The next Lina Inverse,' those were some of the comments. And I suppose now you'll inform me that you could have told me that, too."

"Actually, no, I'd have never guessed," I said.

"Yeah, I pictured her as the comic relief, not any kind of heroine," Nanaka agreed.

"I would have thought her being Lina Inverse was about as likely as me being Gourry," Aburatsubo said. "Which is to say, not at all."

"I'll admit even I am a little surprised," Ryoko said. "I mean, of course I have all that in me and more, but it's rare for other people to see it."

"Really?" Itsuki was taken aback. "I actually surprised you for once?"

"The surprise I'd like to hear is how much we're being paid for this," Ryoko said.

Itsuki didn't look pleased, but handed over a stack of papers. "It's our standard contract for part-time student performers."

Ryoko studied it carefully. "Hmm, 20,000 a week during filming only? Seems a little chintzy."

"Well, we're still not guaranteed it'll be broadcast. But if it is, there is a bonus, plus you'll have commercial appearance rights."

She thought. "All right, but remember, you'll still need to pay off the cancellation fee to my dad. He wasn't kicked out for morals."

"Cancellation fee? But we're not canceling, we're simply redirecting our efforts."

"You're canceling him. And he's the one you wrote the contract with."

Itsuki fidgeted in his chair. "Uh, well, I'll have to consult with our legal department as to our obligations under the previous –"

"No, you won't."

"I won't?"

"Because if you don't agree right now, all of us are going to walk. And with the cancellation, you won't have rights to any of the footage already shot, either. Reproducing those effects on your own – yeah, pretty sure you don't have the budget for that."

He turned pale. "Uhhh, all right, I'll, uh, I'll take care of it."

"Excellent. So we're all set, then."

"No, we're not," Nanaka objected. "What about Sae and me? Are we just going to be eye candy?"

"Haha, yes, um, Miss Nanaka, we were picturing you as the audience's representative, as it were. A sardonic commentator on the goings-on. A voice of reason while the unreasonable happens all around you."

"Huh, well, I suppose that won't be any kind of stretch."

"Now as for Miss Sae, hmm. She could, um, let me see ..."

"Oh, that's ok," Sae, who had been quiet through all of that, suddenly spoke up. "You don't have to worry about me. I was thinking of taking a break from all of this anyway." And with that, she got up and left the room.

I jumped up and hurried after, catching up to her near the exit. "Sae!" I said. "What's wrong? Except, well, I guess I know what's wrong, but like I said, I'll never do that again."

She looked at me with tear-filled eyes. "It's ok, Takeo, it's not that. Or not just that. It's that lately ... Lately, it seems like everything is conspiring to take advantage of me – of my feelings. Magic can be so wonderful, but these last few days, it's been a burden. It's like the magic is using me, instead of me using the magic."

"I'm sorry, Sae. I never meant to subject you to all this."

"No, no, it's not your fault, Takeo. You've always been so nice to me. It's the situations we've been caught up in ... I just need a break, that's all." She smiled through her tears. "Here Nanaka was always the one trying to quit the club and I was always trying to stop her. But now ..."

"Sae, wait, are you going to quit?"

She shook her head. "No, like I said, I'm taking a break. Just until all this is over."

"Then I'll take a break with you."

"No, you can't do that! Ryoko is counting on you!"

"That's right," a voice behind me said. We turned to look and Ryoko (of course) continued, "Takeo, I really need ya to do this for me. I got 'em by the short hairs now, but if you back out, they're gonna use that to weasel out of it. And we really need the money. Besides, you do kinda owe me, what with turning ya back 'n' all. Also" – she nudged me with her elbow – "for introducing ya to my cousin. You two do seem to get along pretty well."

"Huh? What? No, no, we're just, uh ..." I glanced furtively at Sae, hoping she wouldn't be upset.

Fortunately, she wasn't. "It's ok, Takeo. I know you're just nice to everyone. And anyway, you'll be really busy this coming week, right?"

"Uh, busy?"

"You know, with that college entrance exam you have next Saturday? You'll be so busy studying, it'd be better if I'm not there taking up your time. So until then –" And she grabbed my shoulders, stood up on tiptoe, and kissed me. The kiss went on for a while, until she finally pushed back and said, "Here I was complaining about the magic taking advantage of me, but now I'm afraid I'm going to take advantage of you. Goodbye." And with that, she took two steps and vanished.

We stood there in silence for a moment. Then Ryoko declared, "Well, that's one way for your girlfriend to leave you. C'mon, we've got to reshoot the mansion escape scene. They need to sub me in for Sae."

"What? But there's no way I can redo that shield spell! Not with the level of power Sae had."

"Nah, nah, we don't need to redo the spells. They're just gonna greenscreen us into the old footage. Movies have got their own kinda magic, ya know. C'mon."

And off we went.