When a High Elf is having fun
Author's notes: My High Elf character and Wabbajack. This can only end one way: utter mayhem! Spoiler alert for a quest in Solitude.
Alflinde was sooo bored. She had joined the college of Winterhold and acchieved the position of archmage. Now there was little more to do except searching for master Tolfdir's thrice damned alchemy tools every once in a while. *sigh* So Alflinde went to Solitude to look for a certain book. Urag gro-Shub wanted a volume of „The war of the first council" and maybe, just maybe it was in the library of the Bard's College. No, no such luck. But Alflinde stumbled upon poor, batshit crazy Drevenin. And he talked her into asking his master to return from a looong holiday. Too long in Drevenin's opinion. Alflinde should explore the abandoned Pelagius wing of the Blue Palace.
So Alflinde agreed because she had plenty of time to kill *err* fill. But she had to take a highly macabre item: the hipbone of late Pelagius III. Eeew! The bone had a very ripe and mouldy smell around it. Alflinde carried it pinched between two fingers. At the Blue Palace, the guards and Melaran started shouting: „Necromancer!" and other choice words. But Alflinde wasn't put off and asked Erdi the maid-servant for the key to the empty wing. A bit of swindling and half-truths later… And she had the key. She opened the door and entered the haunted wing. Cobwebs, tons of dust *cough* and unused furniture. She climbed the stairs and was in the middle of a corridor shouting: „Master!" on top of her voice… When a purple vortex appeared, Alflinde was sucked into said vortex and lost conciousness. When she came to again she was in, no not Neverland. This was a very misty, bleak landscape and before her was a dining table. At the table sat his majesty Pelagius III. and an old acquaintance from the add-on Shivering Isles. Yep I'm talking about Sheogorath the madgod. He wore a jacket made of two colours. Alflinde had a change of clothes as well. Gone was her enchanted Morag Tong armour. Instead she wore a fine padded coat and this really silly hat that looks like a mix of Russian fur cap and night cap. And all her gear had dissapeared. WTF?! The only thing she had left was this grisly staff with the screaming faces carved into its top.
As it turned out she was stuck in the very sick mind of dead Pelagius III. The only way out was to cure his disturbances. There were three different paths. First, Alflinde walked the path of dreams. She came to a clearing where Pelagius III. lay in bed. As Sheogorath explained he suffered from very persistent nightmares. Alflinde fired the staff once at Pelagius III. and a snarling, biting wolf appeared. She used the staff to turn the wolf into a goat. She repeated the procedure and a bandit, a hagraven, a fire atronach and other nuisances appeared. Alflinde used the staff to turn each into a harmless creature: chicken, Pelagius III. as a boy, a hot pussy of a barmaid and so on. Finally, Pelagius III. woke up. Job accomplished!
Then, Alflinde walked another path. She saw two men dubbed „confidence" and „fury" who were hard at brawling. During the brawl Confidence became smaller and smaller and was attacked by ghosts labeled self-doubts. Alflindes task was to help Confidence. She used the staff on him to enlarge him. She did this a few times, then the brawl ended. Again mission accomplished.
The last task was the trickiest. Alflinde came to an arena where two storm atronachs faught each other. Alflinde had to stop the fight by crippling one side. A long time she aimed the staff at one of the atronachs but nothing happened. Then she shot a hex at one of the spectators who turned into a wolf and killed the other spectator. Fight finished, mission accomplished.
So Alflinde could return to Skyrim and she was allowed to keep mighty Wabbajack. That was the totally whacky name of the staff. Oh the fun she had! Once in the Academy of Winterhold, she turned Brelayna Maryon into a chicken. Rightfully deserved because of the let's say „farm animal incident". (author's notes: one of the best moments in the Winterhold Academy) Luckily, Brelayna was a very forgiving person. She still offered to be Alflinde's pack mule for hire.
Another time, she spied the noble on horseback and his Imperial bodyguard near the Honingbrew meadery. She used Wabbajack on the poor horse and suddenly the nobleman was sitting on the shoulders of a Dremora kynreeve. Well Dremora are feared throughout Tamriel for their nasty temper. Just remember the goons you met at the shrine during the Mehrune's-razor-quest. The noble and his bodyguard didn't stand a chance. After the slaughter, Alflinde turned the Dremora back into a horse. But the guards were not happy at all so Alflinde had to spend a week in the Whiterun prison. She mainly focused her Wabbajack projects on bandits from now on.
„Now who we've got here? *harr-harr*" *zapp* Oh cute little rabbit! *zapp* Oh a chicken! *zapp* Elemental damage. *zapp* And the last bandit turned into a blue glob and a mighty lot of septims.