Ellie felt sick the moment she opened her eyes. There was this odd grumble in her stomach, twisting her guts painfully, jusst asking for release, but she swallowed it. Her stomach was so empty, she was persuaded nothing good would come out of it. Man she was so unhealthy . Her name would probably come up if someone was ever to look for the word in the dictionary. She groaned at the pain pulsating at her temple, it was as if someone smacked her head with drumsticks over and over again in some unrhymed harmony.
''Ugh... my head...''
''Don't move, stupid. You hit your head pretty hard back there.''
The voice was so close, so familiar, she felt her heart skip a beat. She made a move to sit but a pression stopped her from doing so.
''I said don't move. Relax a bit.''
When she was finally able to blink the blurriness away, her eyes locked with the most gorgeous shade of chocolate eyes she's ever seen. The girl - Dina, she learned, and she thought it suited her so well - was studying her freckled feature with a mix of amusement and worry. Ellie slightly turned her head left and right only to see she was lying on the ground, still in the same place than before, only they were now alone, and the back of her head felt very warm and comfortable. Then the recents memories came back to her.
''Where's... I-I gotta finish it...where's... where's the motherfu-ugh'' She slurred, trying to get free of the hold on her body.
Two strong hands pushed against her shoulders and Ellie's head moved as Dina repositionned herself. It didn't take long for the green eyed teenager to understand that her head had been rested on the girl's lap. It felt comfortable and homely, and Ellie didn't want to move. It's been so long since someone has touched her that way, with so much care and gentleness she felt a pang of sadness and longing in her heart. The butterflies in her stomach has turned into a swamping bee hive when Dina smiled down at her, a smile only destined at her, and for a moment, Ellie felt carefree and giddy despite the pain assaulting her poor head. She received so much hits over the head in her short life, she wouldn't be surprised if she was permanently concussed. It would explain just how dumb she felt around the girl.
''Easy, tiger. He's gone.''
''Wha-... Did I... Did I-...''
Dina let out a chuckle that made Ellie's body melt on the spot and she found herself slightly leaning against the other girl's lap. The ground was hard and cold against her back, despite the coat. But her touch felt so incredibly warm, she didn't mind much.
''No you didn't, you dork.''
''Then... where...''
''I did.''
''How?'' She asked, astounished.
Dina's smile became one of pride.
''I'm a black belt. He didn't stand a chance to begin with.''
''Oh... what happened?''
''Well, let's see. You came out of absolutely nowhere, you full body tackled that guy like you're Hulk Hogan or something, you tripped on a rock and hit the back of your head. Yep, that summarizes it.''
Ellie felt a deep wave of shame seize her body, causing her to scratch absently at the hard ground in hope of burying herself as deep as fucking possible. She scrunched her face in understanding and let the flow of fatigue run its course, muttering a low ''fuck'' under her breath. Well, no point crying about it now.
''And are you ok?''
Surprise flashed across Dina's brown eyes.
''You get punched in the face and basically loose conscience for 30 minutes and you're asking me if I'm okay?'' She laughed, shoulders twitching with the gesture, and she flick her bangs out of her eyes with that little motion of her hand that Ellie liked so much. ''You're weird. I'm Dina.''
''Ellie.'' She croaked, trying to sit up and this time, Dina let her, eyeing her with cautiousness.
Nausea crept up as she sit and she exhaled with a sigh. She felt exhausted and looked at where her head had been 30 seconds ago, still feeling Dina's tights against the back of her skull, making her blush a light pink.
''My eyes are up there, perv.''
''NO, that's not wha- I wasn't-'' She fumbled with her words, pink turning to a deep crimson now.
Dina cackled once more, eyes shining with joy at the girl's embarassment.
''God, I'm just kidding, Hulk.''
''Don't call me that.'' Ellie deadpanned, a bit annoyed now.
''Okay, Freckles then. You are the girl with the pizza, right ? I think I've seen you chill at the park once or twice.''
''Yeah.'' Was all the teenager was able to blurt out, still mesmerized by every single detail of the olive skinned girl's face.
Her eyes traveled from her eyes to her nose, and to her lips, ever so slowly it became obvious she was staring. She blinked the dumb away and stood up a little awkwardly. Dina took a small step to support her in case she fell.
''Ow...'' The auburn haired girl's hand shot up to her head where she touched dried blood, and felt a medium sized cut where the fist had hit. The asshole must have been wearing a ring or something.
''We need to clean that cut. Comon.'' Dina urged, handing her her backpack she had left lying near the street.
Ellie felt the girl grab at her arm.
''Where are we going?'' She asked, clueless, confusion written all over her face.
''Home, dummy. I don't live far from here and we need to clean it before it gets infected. And I can't have you walking around with blood on your face like you were beaten to a pulp. Take that as a thank you for trying to save me.''
Ellie said nothing, letting herself be dragged effortlessly by the black haired beauty in front of her. Her mind was miles away from here, on its own cloud nine. Dina had talked to her. She had dragged her sorry ass to her lap and watched over her sleep. And she was now bringing her home. Ellie had always considered herself as a pretty unlucky gal, but this right here, was pure, sheer, dumb luck. Someone somewhere had wished upon a star and there she was, arm held tight by this black belt who obviously knew how to throw a punch. She let a small smile stretch her mouth upward, still a bit dazed from being unconscious for so long. Her head still hurt but somewhat, it was all worth it.
It didn't take them long to reach Dina's house. Ellie noticed there was no car parked in the drive way and all lights were out inside. She gulped at the thought of being alone with her. She often had to remind herself that it was just teenage hormones. It's not like anything would happen, she just wanted to dress her wound.
''Stop being a such a creep.'' She thought to herself hopelessly.
The interior was nothing like Ellie ever saw. Her parents and David were never big on decorations, but here, there wasn't a parcel of wall that hasn't been enhanced by plants, posters, frames and diversities of ornaments, trinckets and knickknacks. The walls of the mainroom were made of an ocean blue tapestry with waves designs on it. "Ama a tu familia" had been sticked in bright red letters and covered half of the wall. There were so much stuff and colors it almost made her dizzy just by looking at it. Dina never noticed her uneasiness, too busy removing her shoes and Ellie followed the gesture, muttering a curse when she saw her left sock had the biggest godamn hole in it.
''Hey Superman, you coming or not? Don't be shy.''
She scoffed at the thousand pet names and followed her further into the house. She passed by a stairwell decorated with small light bulbs that gave an etherial atmosphere to it that reminded her of those beautiful family house she often saw in christmas movies. They came across a blue ligneous door with a frame-like trinket on it. Inscriptions were written in hebrew but it could have been gibberish for all she cared, she didn't understand a single thing.
She finally led her to a small kitchen, ardoned with so much diversity of plants they could open their owm damn shop. Upon catching the look on the taller girl's face, Dina rubbed her hands togheter, a little embarassed.
''Yeah, my mom's big on plants and decoration. She brings something almost every week. My dad's been on her ass about it for decades, but she never listen."
Ellie hummed, a bit distracted and anxious about everything there was to see. It reminded her of a friend she had when she was 9. She went to play at her house and her family was peruvian. It was so begrimed she had felt claustrophobic.
''Comon, sit. I swear you look like you just came out of a gang war.''
She obeyed, watching the other girl leave to gather something. Once she was out of sight Ellie lifted her arm and smelled her armpit. Not bad. She did wash herself this morning with a soap and rag, and she patted herself on the back for that. Dina came back with a pink rag and a bottle of alcohol Ellie stared at warily. She sat down in the chair in front of her and began working on her. The homeless teenager had a hard time not staring at her, but she was so close, and she smelled so good and the way she bit her lip in concentration- fuck!
''Why are you doing this ?'' She asked to take her mind off the gutter.
''Because you helped me.'' Dina answered like it was the simplest question in the world, applying the wet rag on the dried blood to clean it.
''But I hardly did anything.''
''Well it's the thought that count, right ? Beside, it was pretty satisfying to see you punch his face.''
''It felt pretty satisfying to punch him." Ellie parotted, hissing as she applied the alcohol.
"Don't move Dwayne Johnson, I'm trying to clean your mess."
''Stupid, Hulk, dummy, Superman, I have a name you know!" She poutted.
"I know Ellie, I was just testing your patience." The mexican girl answered with a wry smirk.
Ellie rolled her eyes and Dina smacked her lips and sticked a band aid to the auburn haired teen's head.
''There we go. How's the back of your head? Do you want a painkiller or do you feel like you have to go to the hospital ? Do you see blurry or-"
"I'm fine, no need for hospital." She cut her off a bit too quickly, lifting her hand in front of her in a stop motion. ''I'm good, just the painkillers maybe."
"On it."
She fetched a big glass of water and two round white pills that Ellie eyed suspiciously. Dina chukled and gestured toward them.
"It's not speed, Ellie, just take it."
The teen rolled her eyes one more time at this dry humor and swallowed them whole with the water. She didn't know how thirsty she was before now. The cool water smoothered the walls of her parched throat and she sighed in relief. That felt good.
~Take on me
Take me on
I'll be gone
In a day or two~
"Oh sorry, I gotta take this, it's my boyfriend. Hi Jesse."
Ellie watched her disappear in the hallway until she was out of earshot. She got up and watched herself in the mirror. Man, she looked like shit, but she did do a pretty good job at patching her up. Her skin was free of blood and the band aid she applied was a bright pink with white star and she smiled at the childish choice of her host. Looking around the kitchen sent an emotional pain to the teenager's heart. It was so homely, so inviting. This was not a house, it was a home. A family lived here. It reminded her of her parents and the pain of loosing them, now reduced to a dull ache. She felt heat prickles at the back of her eyes but she fought it back. Now was not the time. She didn't want to explain to Dina why she was sobbing like a baby on the floor.
"Sorry for that, he loses his shit if I don't answer right away'' Dina breathed, pocketing her phone.
"It's okay. A-actually I should go. My...uh... dad must be waiting for me."
"Oh? You live alone with your dad?"
"... Yes."She lied, bottom lip twitching ever so slightly.
"What about your mom?"
"She.. hum, died in a c-car accident when I was young." She answered with a lump in her throat.
"Oh. I'm sorry to hear that." The smaller girl really looked crestfallen for her, not even wanting to fanthom the idea of loosing a parents, "My big sister lives on her own and my parents are never there before late, but I'd hate to loose them."
"Yeah" She ran an hand in her bangs, slightly disheveled. " That sucks."
There was a moment of silence and Ellie took it as her cue to leave.
However a hand reached for her own and spread warmth all throughout her body.
"You know, you were really cool back there, even if you fell." Dina admitted genuinely. " You were brave and thoughtful. Few people would have done that."
Ellie shrugged.
" It's nothing."
"It's not nothing. You got hurt because of me and I feel like I need to pay you back."
"I didn't do that for something in return." She explaimed calmy despite the mad beating of her heart.
Dina gave her that pleading smile and the teenager just knew she had won her over and she lifted both her palms in the air.
"Fine, I surrender. What do you have in mind, Dina?"
There was something so cool about being able to say her name out loud, as if it was certifying their recent closeness. Dina bit her lip in thought and Ellie's eyes dropped down for a second.
"What about I invite you to dinner? I know a good place and you look like you could use a meal or two in your body. Don't your dad feed you?"
It was a joke, but it came too close to her reality for her liking. Ellie nervously played with her fingers.
" Yeah, s-sounds great."
Dina did a toothy smile.
"Nice, so where do I pick you up?"
"Oh, I'll pick you up, don't worry about that."
"You sure?"
"Yeah."
"Then it's settled. I'll be ready at 6. Don't be late, stranger."
She gave her a teasing wink and Ellie almost wanted to die on the spot. She waved her hand awkwardly and left the house, so much lighter and in a dream like trance.
It's been so long since she went to any normal gathering, especially with people her age. And on top of that, it was with Dina. Were they... friend?
The word left a lingering nostalgy behind, of a previous life filled with laughter and mishief. Ellie had been a good kid before her life went down to shit. Happy, curious, talkative, sarcastic. She felt like a shell of her former self.
Her mind was in a constant nightmare, and her body a kaleodoscope of pain. She thought the loneliness of her new life would drive her crazy before she reached adulthood.
There was also the uncertainty for her future. She was a missing kid. Granted she doubted the police were still looking for her but she would still avoid police like the plague. She had no ID, no paper, no nothing. For all she knee she was no one, just a head on a soiled body.
She wanted to be friend with Dina. She wanted to graps again at the pieces of a social life. But was it a good idea? She could not let her know about her. She didn't want to tell her by fear of rejection. Who wanted a fucked up friend ?
Ellie licked her lips as she walked, dry from the pent up tension. She couldn't get ahead of herself. They weren't friend. She just wanted to pay her back for that failed rescue mission, that's all. She recalled the whole ordeal in her head and cringed. She was so stupid.
"Who the fuck trips on a fucking rock..."
Oh, the self loathing came back tenfolds. She didn't like to be helped, if Dina would have let her, she'd be on her merry way already. But she didn't regret this. She had talked to the girl she's been crushing on for weeks. She wanted to get to know her, but years of social distancing had been hard on her social skills. After her parents' death, she was never the same. And it's been made even worst when David started touching her, raping her. No one had believed her.
David was an important member of society. He was a priest in their local church, and if it used to bring snickers to the young girl, it has been the bane of her existence to live with him. For him, her sexuality was something to be punishable for, and she had struggled with it for the longest time. He made her hate herself, hate her body and he made her realize just how much hatred was a poweful tool. There was nothing in this world she hated more than him. He ripped her from her confidence, from her girlhood and from a future. She was completely stuck and in such a state of depression she felt like there was no way out of this.
There's day she just wanted to die. The pain was too sharp and the lonelines too suffocating.
And then, there was Dina. Something about the girl was igniting her fire back to life, was giving her hope. She knew it was stupid. But she wanted to see her again. She didn't care for more, being her friend was enough. Beside, she was not even gay, she had a boyfriend. A very lucky one at that. He made her smile and laugh, more than she could ever do. She was far too broken for that.
As she lay on a bench, she found herself looking at the stars for far too much time. Her head rested on her hand at the back of her skull, one knee was pointing to the sky. She lost herself in the view, vaguely remembering a time where she wished to be an astronaut. When she was still hopeful and full of dreams. Stupid, unreal dreams, if you asked her about it now.
The bench felt hard against her body and she closed her eyes, heart sinking at the pit of her stomach. She just needed to sleep it off. Tomorrow would be better.
-
She was jerked awake by a touch. Her first instinct was to reach for her knife, but she forgot she had put it in her bag. She looked up at the owner of the arm, hoping the daggers in her eyes would be enough to scare him off.
Hard but soft hazel eyes gazed down at her, with nothing but worry in them. An unkept beard over thin lips and thin strands of black and grey hair billowed over a tired face.
''You again.'' She simply said, backing away from his unwelcomed touch. "The shop is not open yet, come back later."
She wanted to joke, but the look on his face was serious. If she was to be really honest with herself, she didn't really feel threatened by this man. He was tall with broad shoulders, but he had that thing going on with him. There was something in his eyes that wasn't frightening, but inviting. But he didn't seem to want to leave her alone.
"Kiddo..." he said, not finding his words.
His voice was warm, it reminded her of her own father. Ellie could only imagine it was hard for him to see such a small girl out on her own.
A part of her just felt ashamed he found her sleeping on a stupid bench like a homeless drug addict.
"Come with me." He ordered softly, standing up.
The teenager let out a dry chuckle.
" If you think I'll folllow you anywhere old man, then you're senile."
The man shook his head, frowning just a bit at her with confusion.
"I'm payin' you breakfast."
"Yeah sure." She snorted arrogantly." I'm not hungry."
"Aren'tcha, though?"
Ellie was shamelessly lying. Her stomach was in painful knot, energy had left her long ago. She did not want to spend the few dollars she had on this. And here he was, proposing her food. Her survival instinct told her to accept, but the pieces left of her pride wanted to show him the finger. She grumbled something under her breath.
"What?"
"I said fine! But I'm choosing the place."
An hesitant small smile made its way onto his lips, seemingly content with her answer.
"Let's get some food in you."
He was weird, she decided. She has been ignored by people for the longest time, why was he different? She was nothing but a scrawny kid among so much others in this shithole of a city. But he wanted to make sure she eats, and that thought alone lessened the tension in her shoulders, only slightly.
For all it was worth, he didn't bother too much. She chose the same dinner she met him last time, because she loved the vibe and the smell of flowers and bacon in the air. She threw her bag and sat unceremoniously in the booth, in a perfect teenager way that made the older man smile in amusement and nostalgy.
She picked up the menu, trying her best to ignore the fatherly stare of the stranger. She pushed away all feelings of belonging it brought her, refusing to go down that path.
"So, I'll take the most expensive thing, that alright with you?" She challenged him, almost hoping he'd back down.
"Go ahead." He nodded without a trace of hesitation.
She frowned and made her choice while he himself ordered another coffee for himself.
"So?" She started to break the awkward silence. " Do you have a name or should I continue to call you old man? 'Cause I'm totally okay with that too."
"Joel. Joel Miller. And you?"
"Ellie. I'm telling you just so you stop calling me kiddo."
"Smartass." He smiled against his mug.
"And proud to be." She mimicked his grin.
He knew he shouldn't be surprised, but his eyes actually grew in size when he saw her order. She had 4 pieces of sliced buttered brown bread, scrambled eggs, a plate of 3 crepes with oozing maple syrup and warm, round blueberries thrown randomly all over it. On another plate sat 2 big sausages and potatoes on the side. And to top it all, the biggest ass strawberries milkshake he had ever seen. Even the middle aged waitress shot them a questioning look, but didn't say anything as she walked away.
"You gonna eat all that?" He gestured towards the food.
She shrugged in response, already digging her way throught the food. She was so hungry her mouth watered at the smell of bacon, eggs and pancakes. She haven't seen so much food in front of her in so long she almost cried. She blinked away the tears and munched down on the toast like her life depended on it. Which it kind of did.
Joel looked at her with something in his eyes she couldn't replace, but he seemed to be thinking.
"You seem hungry."
"It's 'cause I was. Food's hard to get by. Why, you regret already?"
"Nope. Just statin' the obvious."
"I guess this is the moment where I'm supposing to thank you."
The man crossed his large arms, leaning casually on the back of the booth. He wore a brown and gray flannel that stopped mid arms, showing a fair share of muscles and hair that reminded her once more of her own dad.
"Just keep on eatin', that's thanks enough for me."
"Why are you doing this?"
Sensing the serious tone, he stared straight at her. The teenage girl was leering at him with a look he had see before in the eyes of scared does, back in his hunting days. He knew he needed to choose his words carefully, but he was never an eloquent man.
He stroked his beard, eyes darting to the side in uneasiness. The tension between them could be cut with a child's scissor and he was aware of the questions in her stare.
Licking his lips and taking few more seconds to put orders in his thoughts, he began:
" I... I know who you are."
She seemed confused for a minute, but then it quickly vanished as it turned to fear. She gripped her fork so hard her knukles became paled.
"What?" She breathed out, eyes darting to the exit door, trying to guess if she could run there without him catching her.
Her furrowed brow betrayed her apparent anxiety that tightened her chest and sent shivers down her spine like a creeping venomous snake. She became restless as the hair on her arms stood up.
This was a bad idea. She shouldn't have come here. She have to skip town, to disappear for a while, to cut her hair, bleach them, whatever it took to just fucking disappear off the damn planet.
Joel must have sensed her stress because he leaned forward, placing his big hand near hers, conscious he shouldn't touch her in this condition.
"Ellie."
She fell back into reality and examined his face, her breathing too labored to talk but at least she was listening.
"I know who you are, Ellie Williams" He muttered that last part." But don't worry. I will not bring the police into this."
"I don't believe you."
Her voice was sharper than knife, words barely above a whisper, hissed throught clenched teeth. Her stomach knotted itself anxiously, hunger suddenly gone. Her eyes were dark and gazed over, as if exhaustion had taken a particular toll on the girl's mind. Joel rolled his shoulders and cleared his throat. He really had to be careful with it.
"I could have called weeks ago, but I didn't."
"Yeah, sure. What tells me you aren't gonna do this now?"
Her words were laced with venom, body at the ready to bolt at the slightest mischap of the man. Joek took a moment to look around, making sure no one was listening and he took a sip of his coffee to calm his own nerves.
"Kids who run away from someone or something aren't happy kids. Happy kids doesn't run. You don't wanna go back home, and I can understand that."
" You have no idea what you are talking about." Ellie growled in a deep, low voice that made her sound older and raspier, pain and panic flashing in her eyes clear as day.
"Look here kiddo." His stance changed, bringing his body closer to the table and locking eyes with her. " I want to help you. You're a kid for Christ's sake. I can't go on with my damn life knowing you are out there waitin' to get assaulted or sum'thing. I will not call the police. I'm just askin' you to let me help."
His eyes were truthful, voice stern but soothing at the same time. He used the same tone her dad has used to make her understand something important. They were so much alike it terrified her to the core.
"I don't get you."
" Ellie-"
" No! You don't get to come to me and ask for that! You have no idea what I've been throught!"
She cut her sentence short, noticing she had been raising her voice a tad too loud. She fisted her hands and looked down at the table, confidence wavering.
"No. I don't."
"See? You can't-"
"I still want to help you. Look kid, there's some really bad people out here."
"And what tells me you're not one of them, uh?"
He leaned back with a sigh, running his hand in his shortened hair. This kid was so stubborn, like he wouldn't believe. But it was also a quality he shared with her.
"Do I look like a bad person?" He asked, a bit tired at having to deal with it.
"He didn't look like one either." She answered calmly, lookimg straight at him with a maturity that surprised him.
It was the look of someone who had lost everything. He knew that look by heart, for he had wore it himself for a long while. Her green eyes was darkemed by black bags under them, hardened by the rugged life she was living.
"Come at least in my shed. You don't want help, fine, I get it. But at least I'll know you're safe every night and not lyin' around dead or sum'thing. It can be a good place, I can bring a heater, and a new mattress, and -"
"I'll think about it."
Ellie stood up from the booth, leaving behind all the foods and the milkshake half consumed. She wasn't hungry anymore, and she now had a lot on her mind.
She walked past him, barely stopping to cast him an head to toe glance.
"Your watch is broken." She croaked, stomping away.
He let out a short laught.
" Yeah. I know."