The story takes place right after the season 10 finale, after Dean killed Death, the Mark of Cain was removed and Darkness was released into the world. I mentioned before, new characters will be added and thrown in the story and I will bring back several former characters from the show in the upcoming future.
Chapter 119 Women Talk
The rest of the day just went by casually. Sam and Dean put the groceries Adam bought away while he just sat and relaxed since he was the on that bought the stuff. Later on, Sam was on his computer searching for leads for new cases as he normally does in the afternoon, while Dean returned to the room where he was watching the game and Charlie came out of her room briefly to greet Adam but returned to finish her reading. By the evening, they all had dinner and sometime later after dinner, they hall headed to a room with TV and DVD player as Charlie wanted them to spend a movie night together and they all voted on a DVD to watch as they had plenty and sat down to watch a good decent action flick which they all enjoyed. After the movie was over since nobody wanted to go to bed or do anything else, they just put on another DVD and watch a real nice suspense thriller that really had them glued. After that was over, it was later than expected and they all decided just to retire for the night. Both Charlie and Adam said their goodnights and headed for their bedrooms, but Sam just tugged on Dean's shoulder.
"Hey, Dean I really need to speak to you right now alone" he told him.
"Okay" said Dean as he could see that it sounded real serious and suspected it was about what Sam wanted to talk to him about earlier that day.
They remained in the room just standing just the two of them.
"Hey, Sam is this about what you were about to tell me earlier today, what you and Charlie were talking about and you said she helped me make some important decision?" asked Dean.
Sam just nodded his head.
"Yes, that is exactly what I need to talk to you about Dean" Sam told him looking really serious.
"Okay, Sam what did you and Charlie talk over anyway that has you looking like you are about to do something urgent?" Dean asked.
Sam just swallowed as this was a bit awkward for him. "Well me and Charlie were discussing Gwen" he said.
Dean just gave a "oh that's all" look. "Gwen, what about her?" asked Dean even more curious
"Well, for one, I have been in contact with her since the last time I saw her" said Sam.
"Yeah, don't I know it" said Dean with a sigh.
Sam looked a bit surprised. "You knew too, does everybody in the bunker know?" he said a bit annoyed.
"Hey, it's not our faults you are talk too loud. Yeah sometimes I pass by your bedroom door and can hear you talking to Gwen on your phone, I don't listen in or anything ,but yeah it's no secret about you two lovebirds" Dean said jokingly.
"Come on, Dean this is serious" said Sam.
"Yeah, alright well about you and your girlfriend" Dean said again with a smirk.
"You remember the last time Gwen and Ava were here and we spoke alone for a while?" asked Sam.
"Yeah, so did me and Ava" said Dean who was now looking real serious as he knew where this heading.
"Anyway, when we were alone, Gwen told me how she felt about me and how we felt about each other, and she felt that we should explore our feelings by occasionally seeing each other when we're not hunting. Just visit each other once and while and spend time together and see where it goes" Sam told Dean relived that he finally opened to him about this.
Dean's eyes lit up a bit, but he didn't seem too surprised from what Sam just told him.
"You me mean you two just get together once and a while for some romantic hallmark moment?" he replied.
Sam nodded. "Yes, something like that" he said.
"Well, what did you tell her?" Dean asked.
"I didn't give her an answer, I just told her I would think it over for a while. We stayed in touch and she would sometimes bring it up hoping I give her an answer but I told her that I was focusing on spending time with Charlie then she disappeared with the Book and we had to find her and Rowena and all and I guess I was avoiding it. We were just talking again this afternoon and she didn't bring it up, I guess she didn't want to pressure me, but I know she's getting impatient wanting an answer" Sam said.
"Yeah, I suppose that's what Madame Bess meant to when she said Gwen is waiting for an answer" Dean said.
"Pretty much" said Sam.
"So, I guess you going to talk to her soon and give her your answer?" asked Dean.
"Yes, I am" said Sam. Dean just sighed a bit.
"Which is?" Dean asked like a teenage boy trying to get as much dirt that he can.
"I'm going to say yes, Dean" Sam told him bluntly.
"Say what?" Dean said looking surprised.
"That's right, Dean I'm going to say yes, I will see her" Sam said. Dean looked shocked again.
"Come on Sam, you know that's going to quite weird you two living thousands miles apart, it's like you can just stop by her house once a week and take her out to the movies or something" Dean replied.
"I know that Dean, but she thinks we should be wiling to try this, she even suggesting once a month or something and like staying for a few days or week maybe longer" he said.
"Sounds like something out of a romantic chick flick. Come on Sammy, you know that you two can't keep up little long-distance romance thing up in the long run. I mean even if you two do manage keep this up for a while, there may come a time when either you or her or both of you guys will get tired of the same old merry-go-around and want something more and you both will just end up miserable" Dean said.
"Yeah, I know I even mentioned this to her but she suggested that if it came to that, she would be willing to move down here in Lebanon to be near me so we can continue our relationship explore it some more" Sam said. Dean's eyes lit up again.
"Are you serious, she actually said she would move down here to continue this not-yet relationship" Dean asked kind of shocked.
Sam just shrugged his shoulders a bit. "Yeah, that's exactly what she said, and I told her point blank that I didn't want her to do that. To leave her hometown, her life and her grandmother behind to be near me, I wouldn't want to her to give up so much" he said.
"So what did she say after that?" Dean asked who was now more anxious to get the all the dirt.
"She just told me that it was her call and that Madame Bess wouldn't expect her to live with her forever anyway and always wanted her to find the right man someday and would understand as long as Gwen was happy even if it meant moving away" Sam told him.
Dean paused a bit on what to say but than just spoke up. "Well even so, there is the fact that our track record in the relationship department isn't too good due to the fact that we're hunters. Face it, the life we lead doesn't make any room for relationships" he told Sam.
"Yeah, I also told Gwen that too, but she doesn't believe that I'm doomed to have someone in my life. In fact, she's actually convinced it might be fate that brought us together because of so much we went through together in the in the first place" Sam said.
"Fate? I don't know about that fate business, but I do know for a fact, our lives are dangerous enough when it was just us when more people get too close there lives will be in danger too, I mean we've lost a lot of people already. We're even lucky we got Adam and Charlie back and sometimes I'm even scared we could lose them again, there isn't room for anybody else to worry about" Dean said.
"Dean, I've told Gwen all of this already and thought about them a lot including the possibility that she could lose me too and she seemed to have a reasonable answer. She told me that I can't keep letting fear of losing people keep me from shutting them out of my life and only making room for you, Adam, Charlie and Castiel. That there are always risks out in the world but we can just close ourselves off out of fear" Sam told him.
Dean's eyes lit up again surprised from what he was hearing from Sam.
"Wow, Sam I never thought I hear you say something like this, at one time you made it clear that we had to sacrifice a lot including relationships settling down the white picket fence thing and all" Dean said.
"Well, I'm still a bit unsure about all of this you know which was why I was avoiding giving Gwen an answer. I part of me wanted to tell her that we had to be realistic, that it could not work but another part of me wanted to believe what she was saying and just give in" Sam said.
"Well, you should have listened to your first part" Dean said out frankly.
"I was and was going to consider telling her that it wouldn't work and that she should move on but then I began talking to Charlie about it and she told me she thinks Gwen is right and I should be willing to take a chance" Sam told him.
Dean just shook his head a bit. "Well, Charlie is wrong in this case. I mean she can be like one of the dudes sometimes, but she is still a chick with all that chick-flick sentimental romantic mentality" he replied.
"Come on Dean, I have thought a long and hard about this after talking Charlie and remembering what Gwen says and really thinking about my own insight and even though I'm not 100% sure. Like I told you, I'm still wondering if this the right thing but, my instincts tells me this could be. I mean after Amelia I swore of relationships for good deciding that because of my life as a hunter, there wouldn't be any room for that ever. But I'm not so sure now. I mean when we are all trapped in that parallel world, me and Gwen really bonded and when she left that place and went our separate ways, it hit me how much I was going miss her and when she called to tell us about Rowena, I admit I was thrilled of the thought of seeing her again. We have been through a lot together already, like being trapped in her grandmother's painting which is still so weird to think about. Anyway, with Gwen it's been a long time since I truly had feelings for someone that I care about in that way. She's shared in the adventures we had together and even helped us with the cases. She's experienced some of what we've been through and it didn't scare her off. She still wants to be with me. I've opened up to her about my life in way I never did with any other woman not even Jessica. She's a psychic so she understands what it's like to be different and even knew certain details about me and major events. Did you know she and her grandmother had visions and dreams about the apocalypse before it even happened? She even had a vision of me falling in Lucifer's cage" Sam finished.
Dean really looked surprised upon hearing this. "Say what, you're saying Gwen and Madame Bess saw you fall into the cage in their visions?" he said not believing what he just heard.
"Well, she didn't actually know it was me, she just had a vision of a figure falling through the hole in the ground but never saw mine or Adam's faces. But the fact is she has seen some visions of my life already" said Sam.
"Wow, I didn't know she and Madame Bess knew so much about what happened in the world. Wonder what else they knew and didn't say" Dean said still processing all of this.
"Well, Dean, Gwen said they didn't truly understand everything they saw, just that it was happening, and yeah they even saw visions of angels falling down the earth before it happened but they didn't understand why and with so much going on, I guess it wasn't a special time to bring it up" said Sam.
"Woah, they knew about the angels too?" Dean said in disbelief.
"Dean, that all doesn't matter right now, the point is I feel a real bond with Gwen in ways I never felt for anyone else, not Amelia, not even Jessica the first woman I ever loved" Sam said.
"Hey, it sounds like you're falling in love with her" Dean said looking all serious forgetting about the other stuff Sam told him.
Sam just looked conflicted. "I honestly don't know yet Dean, I just know I have these strong feelings for her and I thought about her after she left bunker and couldn't get her out of my mind and she has the same feelings for me. I'm done letting fear hold me back on doing what I really want to which his to see her again in St. Paul or here or wherever".
"So, what are going to do?" asked Dean. Sam just gave a brief nod. "I'm going to call her up tomorrow and tell her yes, and then I'm going to go up to St. Paul, to see her and spend few days with her perhaps when continuing doing this once a month like she suggested when we're not working a case" he explained.
"Wow, you're really doing this" Dean said still looking on serious and surprised.
"Yeah Dean, I am, and I hope you can at least support me on this even if you don't agree with it" Sam told him.
"Well, I could find plenty of reasons for you not to do this and argue with you over and over again, but I don't think it would make much difference, since your mind seems to made up about this whole thing" Dean said.
"Yeah, pretty much" Sam said with a sigh.
"Okay then, the only thing I can say about this is good luck even though I can't lie I have to say that I still don't think this may be the best thing in the long run and I have experience in this a bit more than you" Dean said thinking about Lisa and Ben all of the sudden.
"So, when are you planning this little trip to see your girlfriend?" he asked Sam.
"I don't know maybe a day after tomorrow, I suppose, I mean you can handle things without me for a while and if you find a lead on case or there is an emergency you know can contact me and I'll head back in a flash" Sam said.
"Good to know" Dean replied.
Then Sam had another awkward look on his face like he was hesitant to bring something up, but he spoke up anyway. "You know Dean, Gwen wasn't the only thing I wanted to talk about you" he told him.
"Yeah, this is big enough, what else could you want to talk about late this night?" Dean asked.
"It's also about you and Ava" Sam said.
Dean then looked a bit uncomfortable like he was reluctant to discuss her.
"Oh, what about Ava?" Dean asked even though he already knew where this was heading.
"Just like I plan on seeing Gwen, I think you should go and see Ava" Sam told him.
Dean just had this look on his face like he really wanted to leave the room so he could avoid this conversation. "See Ava?" was all he could say.
"Yeah, Dean. Come on, I known for a while you had feelings for her too and she feels the same way, it's common knowledge to all of us under the same roof as you" Sam said.
Dean knew what Sam was trying to do but he wasn't going to be so swayed.
"Hey, look Sam just because you decided to pursue this foolish thing with Gwen doesn't mean I…." but before he could finish his sentence Sam cut him off.
"Now look Dean, be honest, the last time you saw Ava, when me and Gwen were discussing this thing between us, what did you and Ava discuss when you two left the room together?" Sam asked him.
"That's private Sam" Dean said as he didn't want to go there with Sam.
"I think I know what you were talking about and my guess it was the same thing me and Gwen was discussing. Ava wanted you two to continue and see each other once and while when you're not hunting and explore your feelings for one another didn't she?" asked Sam.
"Yeah, Sam she did but…" but Sam cut Dean off again.
"And you didn't give her answer the same as me" Sam said.
Dean just shook his head. "No, I didn't. I guess I was just putting it off like you were to avoid the inevitable" he said.
"I know you have still been and contact with her, I hear you too sometimes talking to her on your iphone when you're by yourself and think nobody is listening, Charlie knows it too and Adam probably does as well" Sam said.
Dean looked a bit embarrassed. "Gosh, everybody in this bunker knows about my private conversations. I might as well post a sign, 'Dean is still talking to Ava pass it on'!" he cried out sarcastically.
"Come on Dean" cried out Sam.
"Okay, so I've may have talked to Ava occasionally. I mean at first, I was trying to avoid her and wouldn't answer her calls, but then I couldn't resist, and we talk. I told her what was going on with Charlie when she took off with the book. She offered to help but I turned her town insisting we could do this ourselves and we had Castiel. And we talked a bit after we got Charlie back, and yeah, when she was at the bunker she did mention a crazy idea us seeing each other again once a when neither of us are not hunting and see how it goes and I just like didn't give her a answer even though I thought it was best to just to say no and cut our losses. I know she's waiting me to give her answer, but I just avoid giving her one when we talk. I know it's not fair to lead her on like that I was thinking of letting her down gently when we talk again" Dean said.
Sam shook his head. "But Dean, you don't have to, just like me and Gwen you two could explore these feelings you have for one another where it leads" he said.
Dean just shook his head again with a conflicted look on his face.
"Sam, I'm just not as optimistic as you are about this. I get you want to pursue this thing with Gwen but I just not sure if it's a good idea for me and Ava and it's best to cut our losses so nobody get's hurt" Dean told him.
"I think that's a big cop-out" said Sam disappointed.
"Hey, don't judge me just because you decided to go in play lovebirds with your long-distance crush!" Dean fired back angrily.
"But it's true. I mean I get it Dean, you're scared just like I am with Gwen. We both lost a lot of people we were close to and that's scary. You probably fear you'll lose her too" Sam said. Dean just had that same conflicted and serious look on his face revealing that what Sam was saying was true.
"Look, I just don't think I'm cut out for the relationship thing. Remember, I tried it before with Lisa and Ben it didn't work out too well. Maybe this thing is just not meant to be for me" he told Sam looking a bit sad.
"I used to think the same thing about myself but now I'm not so sure. I mean, I think Gwen and Charlie might be right which is why I'm trying this thing with Gwen and why I think you can try it with Ava. I mean, with Lisa it was different. You tried to separate your family-life with her from your work. Plus, Lisa is the one that couldn't handle your life as a hunter, maybe it just wasn't a life for her, and she didn't want it for Ben. But with Ava, she's a hunter too, she came from a family of hunters just like us from what you told me so you two can relate and she's tough, can pretty much take care of herself so you don't have to worry as much" Sam explained.
Dean just sighed again. "Yeah, Ava is tough and can handle herself and all but so was Bobby, Charlie, Ellen and Jo. Her being a hunter doesn't guarantee anything" he told him.
"There is never any guarantees. I mean that same thing can applies to us too. I mean we can lose each too, or Adam and Charlie again" Sam said.
"Not if we can help it. But that's hard enough with just each other since we're family but to worry about someone else too" Dean said.
"I think that's the problem. We've gotten so used to losing everybody else we cared about except for each other. I mean, we always managed to come out on top. We've died more than once, been to hell, heaven and came back to life, lost each other and found each other again while all others we cared about died and stayed dead. Maybe because of that we just attached ourselves too much on each other as it seemed like no matter how many people we cared about that we lost, we could rely on the fact that we always had each other at the end of the day. So, we just never made room for anyone else in our lives with the exception of Cas, because he's angel and like family to us and Adam is our brother and Charlie is like a sister to us" Sam finished.
Dean had been listening to what Sam was saying and felt a lump in his throat because it really was sinking, he swallowed and just spoke up. "Wow, you really sounded like a therapist there, Dr. Sam, is that your diagnosis?" he replied sarcastically.
"I'm just going on how I see it" said Sam.
"Well, I don't think I need a therapy session there" Dean told him a bit defensively.
"Hey, I'm just telling like it is, just like I won't let fear keep me from exploring my feelings for Gwen, you shouldn't let them keep you from exploring yours with Ava. And why don't you just admit your feelings about her. We both know that you have falling for not like with any woman before in a while I mean really falling for her. Everybody in this bunker can see it" Sam told him.
Dean just paused again.
"Come on, Dean admit it" Sam urged.
"Alright, alright, I will admit it. Me, Dean Winchester has feelings for Ava" Dean cried out.
"Well that's a step, just let it all out" Sam said.
"Okay, shrink, Ava is beautiful, sexy, strong, brave, tough, loves beer like I do, has good taste in music. Can handle her own in fight and is one hell of a hunter and when she's not hunting can let her hair down let loose and have some fun and has good sense a humor" Dean said.
"That's it, tell me more" Sam urged him.
"I mean, Ava is a all about that life as hunter, she can relate to me so much in that way, like your said we both came from a family of hunters. And she really gets me in ways no other could except for you. When we were trapped in that Underworld trying to survive relying on only each other, we really opened up to each other our lives. I mean I opened up to her like I never did before more so with Lisa or even Cassie. Ava seems to understand me in ways than they couldn't and accepts me, doesn't expect me to be different. When danger comes, I trust that Ava can have my back. I don't always have to worry if I have to rescue her. Hell, she could rescue me sometimes" Dean finished feeling a bit relief that he finally let all that out after burying all of that in.
"Sounds like you may be in love with Ava" Sam said touched by Dean's words.
Dean eyes lit up a bit not expecting to hear the L word. "I wouldn't call it love, but these feelings they more than just a casual thing. I mean when we went our separate ways after returning from that other world, I actually missed her and sometimes I thought about her. And when we showed up at Madame Bess's place, a part of me was hoping to see her there and when she was, I couldn't have been more thrilled. When we went to the dragon's lair together or was trapped in that Hades place, I was glad I at least had her if you weren't there and when we said our goodbyes again, I admit I didn't want her to go. I still sometimes think about her even when I'm not talking her on the phone. It maybe not be exactly love, but's something more than a random fling" Dean explained.
"Well, there you have it. You have falling for her even if you're not in love yet at least. There is something more between you of you then just a crush or a fling and I really think it would be good to explore it and see the possibilities. I know it's scary for both of us, this could change some things bit, but sometimes change is good. Maybe the one thing we need to change is that we start letting others in our lives that we can care about. So Dean, I really urge you not to push this thing you have with Ava away just yet, or you may just regret it, the both of you that is" Sam explained.
Dean just took a breath. "Wow, this is so much to take in and it's quite exhausting, Sam. I just don't know if I can give you a quick answer tonight, I'm pooped as it is. This talk just made more so" he told him.
"Okay, Dean, I won't push this any further with but just please think about what I said" Sam said.
"Okay, I'll think about it, but I'm not making any promises and remember the choice is mine to make no matter what" Dean told him.
"Fair enough, well I think we need to get some shut eye right now. This talk made me a bit tired too" Sam said.
"Okay, lets hit the hay right now" Dean said.
As they were leaving the room Dean called to Sam again.
"Hey, Sam good luck with Gwen okay" he told him.
Sam turned and just smiled. "Thanks, I also hope there is good luck with you and Ava" Sam said.
Dean just paused and then nodded. "Well thanks again, goodnight Dr. Sam" he said sarcastically trying to make a serious matter light-hearted.
"Anytime, good night Dean" Sam replied with a half laugh and the two of them headed their bedrooms.
Later that night neither of them could get much sleep as they both thought about the women that they had feelings for. Sam laid in bed thinking about Gwen and him calling her the next morning. Dean held his iphone and thought about calling Ava but it was so late that night, that he decided to call her tomorrow. Sam's words really was sinking in to him as he laid in the bed, he just couldn't stop thinking about Ava the thought of seeing her again.