Ellie woke up with dread in the pit of her stomach, along with the groggy heaviness of late night drinking. She clumsiky sat up in the mattress, squeezing her green eyes at the blazing sensation the heater left on her face. It didn't take her long for the images of last night to take a clearer shape in her head.

The young woman straightened, mouth drier than the Sahara and fatigue fogging her consciousness. She didn't even remember how the hell she got here. Joel's shed was pretty far from Abby's place...

She shook her head. It didn't matter. At least she slept on a comfortable bed.

More light assaulted her eyes as the shed's door opened on a larger frame. It was Joel Miller, wearing his usual jeans and a faded brown jacket. Bright light reflected briefly throught the broken glass of his watch, making it shimmer for a second. It was enough to catch her attention as she was reminded that she never asked him about it.

He shifted uncomfortably. "Hey." He pronounced, his gruff but low voice giving the girl a sense of odd calmness.

"Hey." She replied evenly, hands supporting her weight behind her, googling him up and down. "What's this?" She gestured toward the thing in his hands.

He took a couple of steps forward, handing her a mug of steaming, dark liquid.

" Hot chocolate. With, uh, marshmallows inside... want it ?" The older man asked, almost shy.
"Sure."

She took the mug from him and let the liquid burn her lips as it rippled against the walls of her throat, eliciting a pained gasp from the girl.

"Sheesh, where'd you get it, in a volcano?" She mutterd under her breath, loud enough for him to hear her.

He shot her a lazy smile, bringing his own cup to his cracked lips.

"You got me."
"'Course I do."
"Are you okay?" He suddenly asked, looking her over.
She frowned a bit, unsure "Why wouldn't I be?" She asked, knowing well she was feeling a bit under the weather this fine cold morning.

Joel walked around the shed, avoiding her gaze and seemingly hesitant to answer. His steps brought him near her backpack and he stared at the old thing like it had the answer to all his questions.

"I, uh... I found you passed out last night in a park. I-you weren't here and I got... it worried me, is all. So I scooted the area, to, uh, give myself a piece of mind. That's when I found you. You okay, kiddo?" He inquired, worry lines fissuring the weathered skin of his face.

Ellie blinked calmly at him, unsure of what to make of his declaration. Her heart swelled and as much as she wanted to ignore this feeling, if brought a well known pang of pain to her chest, one she often attributed to a bothersome feeling of longing. She kept her face straight, taking a few seconds to put order in her thoughts. He was really worried about her.
She scanned his face, looking for any sign of mistrust, but there was none. She could see the irking honesty slipping throught the cracks of his hardened facade, like a light in the end of a tunnel.
She took a long inhale.

"I'm fine. I,... got a bit drunk, I think?" She said, trying to remember the last moments of her life before she dozed off.

He made a face of disaprovement, but said nothing as he took a longer sip of his coffee, prompting Ellie to do the same, only for an awkward silence to settle in. Green eyes fell on the mug that sat in his palm, with the gentle picture of a drawn owl. She moved her mug to her eyes, taking in the tiny pink hearts painted across the cheap china.

"I, uh..."

She glanced toward him, face calm and honestly still tired and groggy. His big hand went to scratch behind his neck and he cleared his throat.

"I made breakfast. I know you don't want to go in, but... I reckon it'd be warmer and... more practical. Or, I can still bring it here, if it makes you umcomfortable...
"Okay." She answered softly before he finished, voice barely above a whisper.

But for the man, she might as well have been screaming in his ears. He smiled hestitantly but genuinely, shifting his weight on his other foot. It was evident that it wasn't the answer he's been waiting for.

"O-okay. I'll let you get dressed. See you... see you inside, Ellie."

The sight of his small smile made the pang in her heart throb, like a dull ache that wouldn't go. As she watched him disappear out of sight, she wondered why she accepted at all. It's not like she trusted him... or maybe she did? She wasn't too sure anymore.

Ellie ruffled her auburn mane, wincing when her fingers crossed knots. Fuck, she wished she could cut them. But for now, she had more important things to take care of.

Setting aside the thought, she peeled her dirty clothes off and threw them in a laundry basket that Joel had brought her, so he could wash her clothes. The thought alone brought her to a mode of self consciousness that made her clench her teeth. He was taking care of her, and it was so subtle she couldn't bring herself to be mad about it. She couldn't thank him, not now. She found it easier to ignore the ache, and let things flow. Ignorance and avoidance, that she could deal with. The thoughts of parenting was bringing her memories down a dark path, one that would keep her up at night and soil her dreams if she was ever to sleep. In this reality, she was alone. No one to take care of her and feed her. No one to cry to when things got rough. No one to protect her from those dirty hands. Ellie frowned and slapped her cheeks, not now. Not this morning, she scolded herself.

With a bit more reluctance, she stretched, her joints popped and she let out a yawn so powerful her jaw almost snapped out of place. She made her way to the clothes he had given her, neatly folded on the workbench.

Another thing he was doing for her. It made her whole body ache deeply.

Gulping down the lump in her throat, she chose a pair of dark green cargo, a black shirt and a button down shirt she left open. She felt guilty thinking that at least, that daughter of him had great taste in clothing. She was lucky, and suddenly really bad knowing that she was wearing his dead daughter's clothes.

Ignorance and avoidance, she reminded herself, tying her hair in a ponytail.

There was something that greatly bothered in the weird relationship she had with Joel. So far, they didn't know much about each other. He knew she was running away from a bad man, and she knew he wasn't totally over the death of his only daughter. They both had their emotional luggages to carry, and Ellie brieftpy wondered if they could bond over that. Yet, the word alone left a freezing cold in her heart.

She has been alone for so long. She missed the presence of her parents so bad, she would sometimes wake up crying in the middle of the night. She tried to not think about it though, the simple throb it brought every day was enough of a bother.

She slipped the coat on and pushed open the door, immediately greeted by a draft of cool air washing away the last bit of morning drowsiness.
She grasped the hearted mug between her fingers, thumbs caressing the smooth surface as she faced the door of the house, dread settling back in her stomach. Was it a good idea ? She was going into a stranger's home. Hundreds of scenarios ran throught her head, the last one always more terrifying than its predecessor.

Not all guys are bad, she tried to resonate poorly, only to be reminded of all the atrocities only one man could do to her person. She felt a familiar heaviness grasp at her heart, tightening the muscles around it painfully. Her head swam with unclear thoughts and she squatted, put the mug on the ground and rested her left hand on her chest, breaths ragged and difficult. Her hands shaked with no real reason but the fear that her body was prisoner of.

When is this going to end ? She thought with resignation, holding back unwelcome tears.

"Comon, Ellie... fucking get ahold of yourself... if you can't go in, how the fuck are you gonna survive tonight?" She asked herself, hands sliding to her temples and rubbing it in a circle motion.

Joel was not David. David was his own man. Joel was someone who had done nothing but help her. But no matter how much she would think it, the panic attack would not stop, if anything, it became worse. She was now sweating pretty bad under her coat, so much that she removed it swiftly, not able to take the heat anymore. The air bit at her skin but she felt nothing, every nerve of her body in overdrive to fight a threat that wasn't even there.

She cursed, sitting down fully on the cold porch. She tried to ease the panic away by watching her environnement. Autumn had definitely taken his roots now, what with the myriad of warm colored leaves scattered on the ground. Impared of their blanket, the almost bared trees looked cold and dead. Gone were their beautiful garments, leaving behind a barely living skeleton. Some of the leaves had been taken in a rebelious gust of wind, swirling about like a fastened tango, leaving dry crusts in their trail.

One yellow and orange painted leaf softly landed in front of her, and she gazed at it throught unshed tears.
As a kid, she loved autumn so much. Now, it only left an empty feeling.

" Ellie? Are you alright?" Came a concerned voice above her.

She looked up, meeting warm and old hazel irises watching her with confusion and a slight anxiety. She waved her shaky hand and lowered it in her other hand to stop the shaking, a nervous chuckle passing throught her lips despite the ragged breaths.

"It's n-it's nothing, j-just a stupid panic attack."

He raised his hand to touch her but she recoiled away like a frightened animal. Joel clenched his teeth and seemed to think for a moment.

"Wait here." He told her, rushing inside.

It didn't take long for the girl to feel a sudden heat around her shoulders, envelopping her whole body with a growing warmth that truly felt like a hug.

" What is this?" Her voice sounded tired, but she couldn't care less about that right now.

He fastened the blanket around her, his fingers spread on her back, and for once, she didn't mind the indirect contact. His touch, even above the blanket, was one of the father, not a stranger.

"It's an heavy blanket. Used it for, ah, my own panic attacks after Sara." He admitted, his eyes not leaving her form, trying to envelop her whole with carefulness.

He had gotten dressed himself, and Ellie noticed the name of some company on his dirtied shirt and if it wasn't for the panic attack, she would have asked where he actually worked.

"It feels... nice." She muttered, for once not shying away from his touch and feeling mighty proud of herself for that.
"It does, doesn't it?" He cooed. "You can keep it."

She gasped, hands holding on tightly onto the dark fabric.

"F-fuck you, I can't!"
"Sure you can, I... I don't really need it anymore. It's yours."

The tension in her body lessened as the blanket did its work, and Ellie could barely believe it was actually working. She knew she should thank him, but she could not bring herself to do it.

"Okay," she accepted, voice and head low.

There was a silence, and then:

"Do you wanna talk about i-"
"Nope."
"Okay."

-

"Hey, what took you so long?" Dina questionned, walking up to a sheepishly looking Ellie.

Ellie looked up from the tree she was sketching in the journal, fingers splashed with gray from the smudgering she had given the drawing. She had been drawing while walking, almost colliding with Dina.

"Well, I'm here, aren't I?" She responded tit for tat. "Where's your bo- I mean, Jesse?"
"Oh, he's with his other girlfriend." She responded casually, pocketing her phone with the straightest pokerface Ellie had ever seen.

Dina's answer had been so quick it left the redhead voiceless. She wasn't serious, wasn't she.

"What?" She croacked, looking at her with eyes so big they almost popped out.
"Oh my god, it was a joke Ellie! Didn't think you'd fall for that one." Dina rolled her eyes, obviously amused by her friend cluelessness. "He went to the library to get a book for one of his class. What about you? You're late." She scolded her, still smilling.

Ellie shoved her gently, lips tilting upward. Of course, she was kidding. That's all Dina ever does. She sometimes wondered if their friendship was one, big joke. A dare to befriend an homeless girl or something. She truly hoped not.

"Excuse you, I am not late. I am fashionably late. This is different."
"Sure, dork. Comon, I'm dying for a mocha."

Not waiting for her to answer, Dina grabbed her wrist and led her away from the swamp of clumsy students, pushing their way out like in a rock show. Ellie's eyes trailed down to her hand, limbs so small compared to her. Her own hands had been rugged by recent years of hardship while hers looked like she never lifted a thing before. She was so feminine and delicate, Ellie felt her love for her grow in force. She didn't care if she was a black belt or fucking Hulk. She wanted to protect her from everything. Ellir couldn't believe her luck. Few weeks ago they were complete strangers. And now, they were touching

"Too much people in this school..." She heard Dina mumble before she was rudely pushed to the side by a shoulder, gasping in pain when her ankle twisted ever so slightly on the concrete.

Ellie's head snapped to the side at the sound that escaped the lips she couldn't stop thinking about, and she caught the smaller hand before her body could make contact with the floor.

"Are you okay?" Ellie asked hastily, eyes scanning her for any injury.
"Yeah, I'm fine." Dina said, craddling her foot with gritted teeth. "Fucking jock."

The auburn haired teenager turned around and followed the guy who had pushed her, anger oozimg from every pores of her skin.

"Hey, asshole!" She cried out, attracting many students attention but the one she was yelling to.

Seeing as he kept walking, she took biggee steps until she was behind him and she spun his big frame toward her, headphones almost falling out of his head as he faced her with an annoyed but confused expression.

"Uh?" He mumbled, lowering his big black JPL headphones. "Can I help you?"
"What do you fucking mean, can I help you? You pushed my friend." She growled, pointing the said girl who was looking at them with puzzlement.

His blue eyes moved toward the black haired girl, briefly noticing her hand massaging the throbbing area. Then back to the too skinny, long haired girl in front of him.

"Uh." He said again, moving his headphones back to his ears and walking away as if nothing had happened.

Ellie looked at his back, flabbergasted. Did he just fucking ignore her? She started to walk up to him, ready to punch his lights out but she was stopped by two hands reaching for her shoulders, fingers tightening and giving enough pression to snap her out of her burning fury.

"Ellie, don't." Dina's voice was gentle, but firm, forcing the taller girl to huff.
"But he-"
"I know. Just let it go, tiger." Her eyes were locked into hers, and Ellie could see her own reflection in those two pools of melted chocolate.

Ellie sighed, turning her head to the side to pout and avoid her stare.

"Fine..." She muttered, clearly not happy about it.

Seeing as nothing was going to happen, the students scattered, and soon enough, even the tall boy was out of sight. Dina looked around and did a lopsided smile, a bit amused and annoyed.

"You have some serious hero complex."
"He was a fucking jerk. Jesse would have done the same." She pleaded with pink cheeks,
"No, he wouldn't." Dina claimed. "The guy's great, but he's no fighter. His muscles are for show. He started working out 2 years ago to pick up girls."

Ellie raised an eyebrow, face still a bit red from the adrenaline.

"Did it work?" She asked curiously.

Dina shot her a devious smile, hand lingering across Ellie's biceps.

"Oh, why? You wanna pick up girls too?" She inquired teasingly, eyeing her up and down with what seemed to be a new found interest.
"That a crime?" Ellie's face was red hot now, but she refused to let Dina win this fight of words, not this time.
"Nothing wrong with that.' Dina looked around, spotting a small group of girls talking to themselves a few metters down the street. " Girls are great." She continued, enjoying every bit of embarassement that radiated from her new friend. "You okay, Superman?"

This girl was going to be the death of her. She was so flirty, touchy and teasing all the time. Did she have any idea what it did to her? To her poor, battered heart? At times it seemed she didn't, because she would act that way with other people too. And sometimes, she clearly loved to see her face go red from embarassememt, turning her into a stammering mess.

"I'm... good." She answered simply, turning her eyes away from her. "How's the ankle?" She pointed, wanting to change the subject.
"It's fine, dummy. I'm not made of glass, y'know? Beside I told you. I can handle myself."
"Okay" Ellie was a bit ashamed that she had made a fool out of herself in front of her crusn, but she let it go. No point stressing over it now.

Beside, she had more important things to think about. Like entering a gang's propriety and basically lying to their face while her friend went all James Bond in their building. At least, she had gotten better at lying. But Dina were not none the wiser. The girl was smart, and she wondered just how long she could keep up the facade. She had looked at her sceptically more than once.
Jesse, on the other hand, was easy to fool. He was naive and trusting, and she could tell anything to him and he would believe her.

How would Dina react to the fact she was basically trash? Dina was a sweet girl, but Ellie was lying to her face. If she ever accepted the fact that she was homeless, she didn't think she'd take kindly to the fact that she was lying to her. This one was a bit more difficult to forgive.

They made their way to the Amanda's, one of the closest cafe. The place was horrible, boring at best. But the coffee was really good, and it would bring more than an handful of students everyday before and after every classes.

"Say." Dina started, face dipping into her steaming mocha, eyes closing briefly at the sweet nectar. "What's in that big bag of yours? I don't believe I've ever seen you without it."

Ellie looked down at the bag lying on the booth next to her. It was frayed at the edges and had known better days, but her dad had offered it to her many years ago, and she refused to part from it.

"Oh, you know, just... stuff." She said mysteriously.
"Stuff, uh? You hidin' an uniform in there?"
"A uniform?" The teenager responded, oblivious.

Dina flicked her forehead, the mocking smile on her feature making her face shine with mischief.

"Your school's uniform, duh. I'd like to see you with that blazer and skirt."

Ellie laughed anxiously, looking down to play with her fingers, not noticing Dina's eyes trailing to her nervous habit.

"Not happening." Ellie's response was clearer than crystal, but Dina was not done with the conversation yet.
"Awww. Why? I bet you look cute. All feminine and shit." Dina's eyes once again wandered over her, and Ellie honestly didn't know what to make of that.
"Yeah. Sure." She waved her hand to shut her off.
"Smart, cute and modest. Aren't you the perfect girlfriend? I bet someone will be lucky to have you."

She knew Dina was just teasing, but it was getting harder and harder not to jump on her like a horny teenager.

"Know any in line?" Ellie took a sip of her water, certain she shut off all of her friend's attempts at embarassing her, but she was surprised to actually see her think about it, face scrunched in concentration.

"Well, now that I think about it..."
"Dina..." Ellie trailed in a warning tone, daring her to continue.
"I think Jesse's cousin is single now. Remember that girl I told you about, that used to hang with Jesse and I? Cat?"
"Dina..." Ellie repeated with a deadpan look.
"She broke up with her girlfriend. She's pretty, smart, snarky and gay as hell."
"Dina!" Ellie's face couldn't turn redder. She was pretty sure heat literally radiated from her skin now.
"I'm just saying, El, that you seem to be a really lonely person. I think it'd be good for you. You... don't seem to have a lot of friends." Dina seemed concerned now, choosing her words more carefully, fingers circling the rim of her white mug mindlessly.
"I have friends." Ellie scoffed.
"Who?" Dina challenged, raising an eyebrow.

Ellie took a few second to answer, which made Dina's smile tug even more upward in that defiant grin Ellie could live seeing less of.

"Wel, there's... you and Jesse."
"Duh, no shit Sherlock. Who else ? She asked, crossing her arms.
"There's Abby and Lev." Ellie declared proudly, crossing her arms right back at her.
"Classmates?"
"Aren't you curious now?" She cooed, drinking a long sip of water to hide her grin.
"Who are they?" She insisted.
"Friends,"

Dina blinked at her with a deadpan look, but there was an hint of amusement in her eyes. She was having fun.

"You're infuriating,"
"Have you met you?" Ellie replied in en evenly voice, eyes locked into hers, holding onto the gaze like a private tug o war.
"You make me want to go back home." Dina breathed, hiding the lowest part of her face behind the steamy mug, eyes shining throught the fumes.

Ellie leaned in ever so subtly, smirking but her voice low and raw, words coming deep from within her throat.

"No one is stopping you."

Dina licked her lips and leaned back, drapping her arm, across the booth's back. She looked impressed.

"My, Ellie Miller, aren't cha the little charmer. I reckon Cat would just love you."
"Shut up." Ellie grinned, feeling braver than ever before.
"She totally would."
"I said shut up!"
"You shut up!"

They exploded in laughter, Dina almost spitting out her mocha in the process. And just like that, Ellie felt the stress of the last days evaporate like steam. The knotted muscles relaxed, tightening only to allow the bark of laughter to come out in uneven waves. She hadn't felt like this in so long. For a moment, she was a stupid, normal, silly teenager and she was with Dina, the only person she wanted to open her heart to. Oh, how she wanted to tell her everything, she wanted to unravel in front of her, naked of all walls and insecurities. But it was never to happen, for she was Jesse's and nots hers.
Her heart ached.

"Would you two please quiet down?" Roared the waitress, big rimmed glass glowering at them from behind the customers filled counter.

Dina and Ellie looked at each other mischievously, grinning like bad kids about to exercice their monkey business.

"Shut up!" They yelled out in unison, which caused them to chuckle even harder. More and more customers seemed bothered by the noise, frowning under the commotion and giving them the stink eye.

"You freakin'-"
"Comon, let's bolt." Dina cried out before the waitress could reach them, grabbing Ellie's hand and pulling her along.

A voice growled behind them to come back, but they kept running. As they excited the store, Dina briefly turned back to give them the finger under the chocked gasp of Ellie who half laughed at the gesture before they ran away from the cafe et into the busy street.

"Oh my god, did you see her face ?" Dina giggled between breaths, still running and still holding onto Ellie's wrist for dear life.
"I thought she was gonna have an heart attack!"

Ellie chuckled even more, blood pumping too quickly in her veins, dizziness flowing her head at the lack of proper breathing, but fuck, she didn't care. It was the most fun she had in ages, and Dina was still clutching her skin, and god, that felt good. As adrenaline slowly died down, she felt alive and lighter than before, chest quickly raising and deflating. They stopped running and Ellie looked at Dina. Her breath hitched at the state her friend was in. She was soaked in a thin veil of sweat, her face flushed a delicious shade of red, eyes glistening with unshed happy tears and her smile... god, her smile. Ellie just wanted to catch her red cheeks and pull her into a sloppy kiss, to feel those lips crash to hers, teeth clattering against each other's. Their nose would bump akwardly and Ellie would laught sheepishly and admit she never kissed before. And then Dina would show her the proper way.

But instead, Dina faced her, hands on her knees, unaware of her redheaded friend's fantasy.

"Fuck, Baldie would be proud of me." She huffed, trying to catch her breath.
"Who?" Ellie asked, slowly sucked back to the painful reality.
"Mr. Growles. He's my gym teacher. He's bald so we call him Baldie."
"That's kinda mean."
"Yeah, well, it's high school." Dina answered, shrugging.

They rose up to their full height, stretched their back and Ellie wandered her eyes to the now empty street they had had landed in. There was no one around, except for the occasional car passing by. Ellie recognized the place as where she had first saved Dina. They were barely a few blocks from the karaoke thing...

"Holy shit." Ellie suddenly cursed, eyes going wide.
"What?" Dina's head snapped to the side, hands patting her jeans to make sure she still had her phone.
"You forgot to pay!" She exclaimed.
"...oh.""

Ellie stared her down, surprise and slight panic written all over Dina's face. All it took was a slight misplaced chuckle from Ellie for both of them to explode in laughter one more time, much harder than before.

"Oh shit. Am I-am I in trouble? Dina chuckled, and Ellie just loved the way it made her look so freaking gorgeous.
"You're definitely going to jail." Ellie assured her, smiling so wide it created pimples on her reddened cheeks.

Dina stared at her face for a second, eyes wandering to the smile she was sporting and shook her head in dissmissal.

"Better start to do push ups then. "
"You'd definitely need it." The smirk on the taller girl grew in lenght at the indignation painted on Dina's features.
"Look who's talking ! You're a walking stick!"

Ellie shrugged thoughtlessly.

"I'm not much of a eater. Can go a long time without eating,"
"Yeah, I've noticed. No idea how you do that, I need to eat every three hours or I waste away." She complained, quickly checking if she had any message.

She seemed to have one because her eyes skipped over the screen, fingers starting to type furiously on it. Ellie looked at her from the corner of her eyes, and noticed how her lips tugged upward as she wrote.

"Jesse says one of his friend is inviting us to a bowling party. Wanna come ?" She asked, and unless Ellie was seeing thing, she could swore her brown eyes sparkled as she asked.

Ellie definitely wanted to come, but she had a suicide mission tonight. Her stomach contracted nervously at the prospect, and she wasn't hungry anymore.

"I.. can't." She admitted, dampening her smile a bit. "I have... stuff to do tonight."
"Oh." Hurt was evident on the black haired teenager's face who nodded wordlessly and began typing again.

Rubbing her arm, Ellie let out a sigh, mind going back to the morning she had spent with Joel. It had been eventful for sure. Crumblimg down in front of him
Iike a weakling hadn't been on her agenda, but it's not like she had any control over it.

The man had been nothing but considerate, patting her blanket covered back like her mom used to do when she was little. She recognized the father side of the man in those little gestures. They were controlled and yet, instinctual. They made her feel at home, despite Ellie's desire to keep her walls up.

"I think I'll go now,"

Turning to face her, the taller girl wiped her hands on her cargo pants, suddenly shy. She replied that she also had to meet a friend, to which Dina casually grinned.

"That Abby girl?" She asked.
"Yeah. Why?" She got a bit on the defensive, not wanting to dive further on this conversation.
"Nothing." She shrugged. "See you later, Superman. I'll contact you by email. And please, get yourself a damm phone."
"Okay." She answered softly, looking down at her hands, hence not noticing the insisting stare she was given.
"Ellie?"

Ellie looked up without a word, waiting quietly for her friend to speak up. Dina offered her a flirty smile, lip tucked under white teeth in a sultry manner Ellie didn't think it was legal.

" I wasn't kidding, you know." She muttered, raising an hand to touch the rugged line crossing the brow, thumb running smoothky across it and sending jolt of electricity down the taller girl's spine.

Dina smiled at the tension in her friend's body.

"I really dig scars." She breathed out.

And suddenly, their skin weren't touching anymore and Dina was gone, leaving behind her a statue of statue of hot coals.

Holy.

Fucking.

Shit.