AN/ Sorry I'm late this week! Life is crazy and I'm in the process of multiple here and on Wattpad. Don't hate me (:
I own nothing except the story you see below.
Bonnie drove us to the hospital when we left. Caroline muttered something about meeting up with Tyler when we got there and promptly left when we entered in the lobby. After asking about Matt's room, we made our way up to the third floor.
"Elena?" Bonnie asked after an awkward silence grew between us in the elevator. I looked at her.
"We're on your side, you know?" She asked quietly.
"What do you mean?" I asked for her to elaborate.
"I mean," she said turning to me, I turned to look at her. "We would never do something unless we believed it was in your best interest, at least I would never..." she trailed. "I just want you to know, I love you, and despite how confusing and crazy things may be, you're going to be okay." She jutted her chin out as if trying to convince herself too.
I gave a weak smile and grabbed her hand.
"I know, but I think I deserve the right to know. It's my life." I felt like an imbecile saying that, or a Bon Jovi song. "I just don't understand why everything is so secret." I said mostly to myself.
"I promise that we wouldn't be keeping it from you if we thought it wouldn't hurt you in the end." Instant regret shown on her face as she finished.
"Hurt me?" I asked a little frightened. "What have I done? Bonnie, what is going on?" I asked getting anxious once again. My blood pressure must be something ridiculous from going up and down so much today.
She hushed me and grabbed both of my hands. She searched my face as I did the same, expecting some kind of answers to be hidden on her tanned skin, but found nothing. Her lips seemed to be slightly moving, but no noise came out. I at first thought she might be having some type of conniption, but almost as if a wave breaking over me I felt completely calm. My heart was once again calm and I felt very indifferent all of a sudden.
"There." She said after a moment. "All better."
Before I could ask her what just happened, the elevator dinged and I followed her out into the corridor. I felt strange. Numb almost. But followed Bonnie down the hall and into a separate room. I almost forgot who we were here to see.
"Elena!" Mat said as soon as I entered the room. He was packing up what looked like was the rest of his things into his book bag but dropped it as soon as he saw me.
He enveloped me in a hug that I didn't realize I needed, and despite my ribs being in slight protest, I welcomed it. He was my Mat, always would be. And even though we weren't together anymore, I was glad that our friendship still surely remained intact. I squeezed him back the best I could without hurting ether one of us. I wasn't sure what the extent of his injuries were, but if they were anywhere near how sore I was, I knew better than to hold him too tight.
"How are you?" I asked him, brushing away a few tears before anyone could notice. He pulled back and held me at arms length.
"Me?" He asked as if it was the most ridiculous questions to ever be asked.
"What about you? You still think it's sophomore year, I heard." He nudged my shoulder and laughed.
I laughed with him at the absurdity of it too.
"Yeah, well at least I didn't have to eat hospital food for the past two days." He laughed again.
"I'm just glad you're okay." He sighed, I realized just now how beaten he looked.
He is definitely much older than I remember. Taller too. He had grown up a lot, same sandy hair, blue eyes, and stocky build from football. But something about him seemed slightly worn, like most of my friends I'm now realizing. They all look like they've lived a lifetime in these past two years.
"I'm gonna go ask the nurse if we can take you home." Bonnie said to us before leaving. He motioned for me to sit on the bed with him.
"So what's the last thing you remember, I mean before yesterday?" He asked.
The bright blue of his eyes brought back so many memories, most of which were from the night we broke up.
"Jack and coke with Caroline, mostly." I mumbled.
He laughed heartily knowing I couldn't hold my liquor past two drinks.
"Well, that's always a good start. Now we just need to remember the rest."
"Can you tell me anything?" I asked him knowing well enough what his answer was.
He looked unsure and kind of like a fish out of water. He stood up and paced slowly around the bed while I just sat and watched.
"He told me not to, Elena. And honestly I agree with his reasoning."
"He? Who's he?" I asked flustered. Someone was pulling the strings to keep me in the dark. Why? Why wouldn't you just face the consequences head on? Had I really been that awful?
"Shit." He cursed under his breath.
"Mat, come on." I begged standing up from the bed.
"No, no. I said I wouldn't say anything and I'm not going to." He shook his head. "I'm sorry 'Lena, but this one you just have to figure out yourself."
"Why?!" I exploded finally. "What is it that I've done that is so godawful everyone wants to keep it from me? Nothing makes any sense! Who's idea was it that I can't handle the information on my own? Who is deciding my life for me right now?" I kept firing questions. "I don't even know who I am anymore! I mean I don't cheer, I don't party, I hardly recognize any of you! I mean look at you!" I gestured to him. "You're Mat, and I know you're Mat, but you look older and so... tired." I decided. "And Caroline, and Bonnie, and Jer-even Jeremy!"
"'Lena..." Mat tried. I realized I was yelling at this point but I didn't care anymore.
"He's so much older," I continued "He's matured so much, but from what?! He's only sixteen! He shouldn't be so-so-" I stopped unsure of how to finish.
"Elena?" A woman's voice came from behind me. I turned to find a slender woman with dark hair and kind eyes. She looked familiar but I didn't recognize her immediately.
"Elena, this is Doctor Fell. Meredith." Mat said from behind me.
"I'm so sorry." I said quietly, blushing furiously. I realized now that this is the place my dad worked, I was bound to run into a few colleagues while I am here.
"It's nice to meet you." I cleared my throat and held out my hand, trying to regain composure. "Do you work with my dad?" I asked politely. She shot a glance towards Bonnie who just stared.
"Yes." She said shortly not caring to elaborate.
"Dr. Fell was the doctor on your case, Elena. She came to see how you were doing." Bonnie trailed.
Of course. I thought. Right when I actually go ballistic for the first time since the accident, she would walk in. How typical.
"How about we have a talk in my office?" She asked politely and turned around not waiting for an answer.
I gave Bonnie an 'Are you serious?!' Look and she shrugged turning to help Mat with th rest of his things. I threw my hands up silently and followed her down the hall to a tiny room.
The office reminded me so much of dad's. Papers scattered everywhere and documents covering every surface. 'Organized chaos' as he once put it. I should visit his before I leave.
"So, Elena," She began. "Let's talk."
An hour later, I had been written two prescriptions for anxiety, one for the aches and pains, and told that it was impulsive and irresponsible to go back to school so soon. But she also told me that she would have done the same thing and it was incredibly brave to dive in head first. Stupid, but brave.
I decided I liked Meredith, despite her being bossy and a little pushy. She seemed to genuinely only want the best for people, and I could relate. I wondered how long she had been working for the hospital and where she went to school.
I know mom loved for me to write and always encouraged it, but the older I've gotten the more I've realized how much I've always wanted to help others. I think that was why my dad and I got along so well, because we had that understanding about each other. He was constantly running off to work or to other places in the world that needed his help, but somehow always managed to have time for us. I swear he never slept.
I looked up realizing I had made my way all the way across the hospital and in front of dad's door. Though, it wasn't his door.
'Dr. Harry Smith M. D.' It read.
Who's Harry Smith? Where was dad's office? Had he finally moved to his own practice? It was probably on the corner of the town square he had always dreamed of buying.
That was fast. I thought. Only two years, well I guess a lot can happen in that amount of time. Go dad.
I reached up and brushed under where I could see the stickers residue from the previous sign.
'Dr. Grayson Gilbert M.D.'
I dreamed one day it would be my names followed by the letters. With parents like mine, reaching for the sky wasn't as impossible as it sounded. Or so it seemed.
I made a mental note to go by the corner practice sometime soon to check out the new place. Maybe that would jog my memory a bit.
I found Bonnie and Mat wondering much like I was closer to the front lobby of the hospital. Apparently Mat was allowed to leave, but needed to be under some type of supervision because of his gnarly concussion.
I wish all I had was a concussion.
But nonetheless I was happy my friend came out with just a few scratches and bruises. Tyler was going to let Mat crash at his house until he was cleared by Dr. Fell.
I asked about Vickie and they told me she had run off with some guy to Vegas a few months back. Knowing she was just as much of a flight risk as her mom, I didn't press too hard, but Mat seemed a lot more down about the subject than I had thought he would. We both used to joke about how Vickie would end up in prison or on the arm of some major drug dealer who would eventually get Mat into college with all of his tricks and ways.
We decided that the Grille was the best - and really the only - place in town for a celebratory bite to eat. I had insisted on running home first to check on Jeremy, feeling like the big sister I was. They assured me we would meet him there and I quickly asked to drop off my book bag as it was getting heavy.
Liar.
We can all play this game.
In reality, I remembered a certain book that could possibly hold all of the answers I had been searching for and prayed to God it wasn't out of any of my regular hiding spots.
"I'll be just a second, Care. No need to make a big fuss!" I said a little too lighthearted and shut the door to her car before she could respond.
I walked hastily to the front door, trying not to seem to eager and closed it behind me. Once the door was closed I threw my book bag off somewhere and took off up the stairs and into my room. I cracked the door behind me just in case someone decided to come in so I could hear their entry, and got to work.
Under the pillow?
No.
Under the mattress?
No.
Under the bed frame?
No.
Okay obviously the bed is out of the question.
Behind my head board?
Not there either.
Where the hell did you put it, Elena?
And then I thought of it. My window seat, I had just made a new stash place the day before the bonfire and it was perfect. Under the cushions and right up against the wall. I jumped toward the seat in haste tripping over the carpet and not caring to fix it before turning back to the seat. I pulled out a journal I hadn't seen before, plain and dark blue. It had only been halfway written through, but I would recognize my sloppy, cursive, journal writing anywhere. I was super close to finishing my last journal before that night so I wasn't surprised it was new.
Mental note to find the others later.
I looked up to be sure that I hadn't missed Caroline jumping out of her car yet to come get me, and was relieved when I saw her bright blonde hair flip to the side while talking animatedly to Bonnie.
A creak sounded deep from within the house.
I whipped my head around to my bedroom door in a panic. Suddenly on high alert, but I wasn't quite sure why. The door was in the same position I had left it not two minutes ago. Nothing was out of the ordinary. Houses make all kinds of noise when they expand and contract from heat I reasoned
Paranoid much? I scoffed internally at myself and repositioned my cushions before finding a different spot to hide my book. My panic now done with.
The best place I could think of was right behind the old painting Nanny Gilbert left to me in her will when I was nine. It was big and not all that interesting to look at, but it definitely got the job done.
Thank you, Nanny.
I promised myself I would come back immediately from the Grille to analyze it all, but for now, I would just enjoy some time with my friends.
I placed it carefully behind the frame mounted to the wall and made sure it wouldn't fall before I threw my hair up in a ponytail as an excuse for taking longer than I should have. Caroline would totally believe I needed to stop and look at myself in the mirror at least once, right?
I opened the door to the hall and was suddenly on red alert. Goosebumps broke out over my arms and I had the hair on the back of my neck stand up. I scanned the stairs and hallway for any sign of something out of place, but honestly, everything seemed perfect.
Almost too perfect to be okay.
I couldn't shake the feeling that I was once again being watched. And in an old house like this it makes you wonder if there isn't something watching you.
I brushed off my paranoia once again and made my way down the stairs and out the front door to Caroline's car.
At the Grille we met up with Mat and Tyler who were already engaging in nachos and pool, a few of my favorite things. Mat asked if I wanted in, but after trying to bend over the table to shoot once or twice my ribs decided differently.
Care, Bonnie, and I sat in the corner table close enough to their game where we could hear them compete against each other, but not so close where they could hear our conversation.
"So I was thinking," Care began after we finished our nachos. "Maybe now because we're older, this party could be a Red, Yellow, Green Party!" She clapped her hands as if she was so proud of herself.
"What the hell is a Red, Yellow, Green Party?" I asked laughing at her antics.
"Red means 'Taken', Yellow means 'It's Complicated', and Green means 'Rockets Are Go'! Each person would wear a wristband correlating to their relationship status! It would be so much fun!"
"Uh, no thanks." I stated bluntly.
"Yeah I have to agree with Elena, Care." Bonnie piped in. "You're basically singling out everyone according to if they're in a relationship. That's not fair." Bonnie definitely had a point. If I wore green it would mean I'm totally uncalled for, which as of right now, I am. I think.
If I had yellow, it would mean I'm not sure, and although that is completely the case at hand, it's not really the definition the game had in mind. Mine is more so, I really have no clue what I was doing as far as my love life goes.
Stefan seemed sweet and caring, and of course was definitely very attractive, but something about him put me off. It's like you meet an extremely hot guy and everything is perfect about him, except for one thing, and then three months into the relationship he wants you to meet his beanie baby collection. And you think it's cute he has stuffed animals until you realize he has over 200 of them and has to say goodnight to each one of them.
Damon seemed to be keeping his distance for a reason. Although I wasn't sure why. He seemed comfortable enough to talk to me, so that was a plus. But it was definitely not enough to be comfortable around my friends. Or Stefan. He seemed to be purposefully detaching himself though. Maybe we had a fight? Or maybe I'm reading into this all wrong.
But the way he looks at me. I thought. It's so intense, and... deep? I wasn't sure. But I knew one thing, my body reacts to a certain level of alarm when I'm around him. Like I can't decide if I want to run away or jump him.
And red is obviously not the answer because had it been, Stefan would have been right by my side the entire time. I'm sure of it. He seemed like the type of friend to never take anything for granted, so I'm assuming it would be the same way in a relationship. Although if we did date, the secrets thing would be a total turn off.
Damon... well the longing looks he gives, and the body language I could undeniably see. And again, the intensity. It's like he's willing to die for me, and that thought scares me. What would make him so intense to act like that? Something serious, and I'm talking life or death.
"Earth to Elena!" Care sang, waving her hands in front of my face. "Where were you just now?"
"Considering my relationship status," I said ignoring her question. "It's much, much more than 'it's complicated'."
Her face fell slightly, understanding my point.
"Oh, well! We'll just let booze and partying be the theme then." Care said obviously still happy with the choice she's made.
"Why do we need a theme at all?" I asked. "Let's just get wasted for 'ol times sake." I laughed and they joined in.
"Who's getting wasted?" A smooth, deep voice came from behind me. It instantly sent shivers down my spine and I didn't need to turn around to know Damon would be standing there.
"You mean, besides you on a daily basis?" Caroline retorted and crossed her arms.
"You say it like it's a bad thing, Blondie." I turned to him just in time to see him smirk into his drink.
Damn 4 o'clock on a Monday, this man must have some issues.
He was wearing the same dark clothes before that were honestly, very cliche, but I found myself undeniably attracted to it. But his hair looked much more disheveled than usual and I wondered what... or who... made it so. I found myself instantly jealous at the idea, but I couldn't hardly figure out why.
"What do you want, Damon?" Bonnie asked sounding annoyed.
"I was wondering if you had seen my brother?" He asked and glanced down at me. I didn't bother moving my eyes from his and when he didn't either it made my face flush. "Didn't come home after school." He explained, as if he needed a reason.
"Look," Caroline said as I turned to see her waving toward the front door. Stefan was now walking towards us, but before he could make it, Damon turned around and ushered him in the other direction talking slightly animatedly and looking... angry? What about?
"Finally." Caroline muttered loud enough for us to here.
"What?" I asked trying not to make it obvious that I was staring the brother's conversation down. Damon's brows came down and formed an almost perfect line across his forehead. I knew something was up, but asking about it would ultimately end in more lies.
"Damon and his snarky presence." She huffed.
"Care, he literally only asked where Stefan was." I defended. She looked skeptical at my words, but I held my own.
"Yes, but Damon is... complicated." She finished, obviously fighting some inner turmoil.
"And?" I asked confused and a little irritated at her obvious hatred for a man that hadn't done much more than save me from drowning, in my own bathtub of course, and basically breathing. I didn't know him well, or at least I don't remember knowing him well, but from what I saw he was just a guy that had some demons. Get in line.
"And," She drawled out. "He's Damon."
I quirked an eyebrow towards her.
"Ugh, forget it. You just have to get to know him." She threw her hands up.
Oh I get it.
"So you mean I need to sleep with him?" I asked not entirely appalled by the idea. Actually, thinking about it made goosebumps break out across my neck and upper arms.
Bonnie, Caroline, and even Matt and Tyler turned to look at me, stopping their pool game. But those weren't the eyes that bothered me. I turned back to the brothers across the restaurant, at least sixty feet away, who both had their eyes locked on me. As if they had heard what I had said. Impossible, right? There was no way that, over the thirty people that separated the three of us, they heard me.
They looked like they had stopped mid-discussion, just to turn and stare. Like I had dropped some type of bomb on them. One face was riddled with disappointment the other... shock? Wonder? I wasn't sure.
"What?" I broke my gaze with them and sunk down in my bar chair praying for a black hole to open up and swallow me through the floor.
There is no way they heard me say that from all the way over there. I thought. I must have just caught them in a lull in their conversation. That had to be it.
I didn't dare try and look back over to them, knowing that either my face or my friends would give something away and I could not have that. I glanced back up at my friends to see the ending of a silent conversation between Bonnie and Caroline. Matt and Tyler had went back to playing, but the dynamic was definitely different between all of us. And the atmosphere in the room could be cut with a knife it was so thick with tension.
"No," Caroline said with a tight, small, smile. "That's not what I meant at all."
"You guys are weird." I said standing up. "I'm gong to the bathroom. Don't follow me." I did the best I could trying not to be seen when walking to the bathroom, but I felt eyes on me the entire way there.
I shut the door behind me and locked it, fearing someone would come running after me.
Who was this Elena, and why is her life such a mystery? I couldn't wrap my head around the idea that my own parents had no worries about my condition? None at all? I don't buy it.
If my child had lost her previous memories of the past two years, I would want to be here to catch her when it all comes flooding back. At least I hope it all comes back to me. Eventually.
It was so unbelievably frustrating to go through her-my life like this, without any genuine knowledge about who she- I am. What my thoughts and feelings were. Who the new people in my life are and the reasons why I've chosen to take the paths I have taken.
I decided I had waited long enough to read about the past two years, and instead of asking for a ride home I was just going to have to sneak past my friends and head home on my own.
After opening the door and rounding the corner. To see that Stefan had now joined Caroline, Mat, Bonnie and Tyler in my previous seat, I made a break for the door. Thankful none of them seemed to notice.
Once out in the open I made a quick pace toward the direction of my house, it wasn't much more than three-quarters away.
I glanced back to ensure myself I wasn't being followed and made a point to sprint until I was around the corner and out of sight.
Making it home about twenty five minutes later, I ran up the stairs and into my room without hesitation. I was so unbelievably out of breath and out of shape, but I didn't care. I practically leapt over my bed and to my Nanny's old picture frame only to find it journal-less.
I panicked.
I pulled the dresser placed precariously underneath the painting out and practically knocked everything on top to the floor.
Nothing.
There was no book, no pages, not even the pen I remembered placing inside of the binding.
I sunk to the floor completely defeated. I held my head in my hands and cried. I really cried.
I cried for my stupid friends and their overprotective-ness. I cried for my obviously broken family. I cried for the things I couldn't understand and don't remember. I cried for the obvious turmoil in my love life. But mostly I cried for my stupid self for believing that for one minute I could be strong enough to handle all of the undeniable twists and turns my life suddenly held. And the fact that it didn't seem like I had hope for figuring any of them out. At least not any time soon.
Only then did I notice my carpet was fixed. I remembered I had tripped over it finding the journal earlier in the day. Had I not been in such a hurry to get back down to my friends, I would have fixed it myself. But I distinctly remember not turning it out the right way again.
Someone fixed it.
I felt frozen once again.
Who had been here?
Did they deliberately take my journal?
After many unrelenting texts and calls from Caroline and Bonnie, they eventually stopped and I was able to sleep. I don't know why I didn't just get up out of the floor and into bed, but I figured it probably had something to do with wallowing in self pity and whatnot.
When I did wake up eventually, I found myself wrapped in my comforter on my bed and with a pounding headache. I stumbled my way to the bathroom for Tylenol before I realized it was next to pitch outside and much later than I had anticipated.
2:08am.
I guess Jer must have hoisted me into my bed when he found me on the floor earlier.
Deciding skipping dinner and being asleep for the past several hours wasn't my best idea. I tip toed to the kitchen in search of something and settled on leftovers that smelled okay enough.
The bitter darkness from the house that surrounded me was uncomfortably familiar. I hated it.
My mind wondered to who could have taken my journal and what their motive was to do so. It obviously wasn't Caroline or Bonnie, they had been with me the entire afternoon. Jeremy wasn't seen for a majority of the afternoon, but what reason would he have to hide it? Mat and Tyler, god love them, were just too plane oblivious to even attempt breaking in just to steal a journal. That left the mysterious brothers that I was so undeniably involved with one... or both.
This is what I needed the journal for. I needed answers.
A cold chill once again ran down my spine. I was being watched, I was sure of it.
I gently placed my bowl back on the counter, as to not lead on that I knew.
Closest thing I can reach, I thought. Self defense.
I scanned the counter before me. A couple of old straw wrappers, some mail, and a metal ladle. Ladle it is.
I grabbed hold and whipped around ready to strike as hard as I could and make a break for the door.
"Easy, Elena!" Stefan's hand grabbed my wrist. His dark green eyes washed over me, making me instantly relieved and feeling a little foolish for feeling so alert out of nowhere.
"Jesus, Stefan." I dropped the ladle on the counter with a clatter. "What the hell are you doing here?" I asked.
"I'm sorry." He started and looked down at my ladle. "Really?" He asked and broke a smile.
I laughed and pushed at his shoulder.
"Shut up! You scared me!" I grabbed the ladle and put it back where it belonged.
"Sorry, sorry." He rubbed the back of his neck, obviously at lost at what to say.
"What're you doing here?" I asked.
"I-uh- Caroline," He stuttered. "She asked if I would stay, just to make sure you're okay. We all kind of panicked when you left the Grille earlier."
"Oh," I said lamely, as if disappointed by the fact he wasn't here for a different reason. I should have known Care would have wanted someone to check up on me.
We stood in the middle of my kitchen, silent just long enough to make things slightly uncomfortable. He shuffled a bit as if unsure of what to say. Something about the dynamic between us, whether in the middle of the night in my kitchen, or outside in the light of day, seemed off. Like my body naturally was in constant conflict with itself. I felt like I should be close to him, but at the same time I felt like I needed to step back another ten feet from him. It was so strange. It had me rocking nervously on my feet.
"Why did you leave?" He asked suddenly, startling me a bit in the silence. I looked at him questioningly. "You snuck out of the Grille. Why?"
Surprisingly, he didn't seem upset at the fact that I dipped out.
I blushed and looked down at my socks. Stefan seemed like the type of person you could trust, for sure. I could tell he was caring, especially for me or any of his friends, and he seemed genuinely concerned when he asked, unlike most everyone else who would have been accusatory. Caroline probably would have stomped in my bedroom and woke me up just to shake her finger in my face.
"Overwhelmed again, I guess." I lied, and I hoped it was convincing enough. I didn't need anyone knowing that I had started looking for my journal. They're all being so secretive, so could I. "It's just a lot to take in, you know? Everything's the same, but very different." I shook my head and turned around to keep my face from betraying my emotions. It wasn't completely a lie, I was definitely overwhelmed, but it didn't overshadow all of the secrets everyone was hiding from me. I think it just enhanced them.
"I understand, more than you know," He said and gently grabbed my wrist to turn me back around to him. He was now much closer to me, more so now than ever. I could see his worry sketched all over his face.
I took the brief moment to really take in his appearance. His sandy, messy hair stood in perfect disarray all over the top of his hair, and every facial feature was very straight and angled, but very soft at the same time. I could see why I was attracted to him, no doubt. He was a good guy, or trying to be. But it seemed almost like he was trying too hard. But why?
"I just wish," He whispered, his breath washing over my face smelled very minty. It was all so familiar, and yet so foreign. It had my head spinning. "I wish I knew what you were thinking."
He stared so deeply into my eyes, I felt like I should look away but I couldn't. His hand brushed back hair in a typical guy move, but I couldn't bring myself to care. There was undeniable Chemistry between the two of us, and I wanted nothing more than to figure out everything between the two of us.
We both found ourselves lost in each other and leaned into one another.
When our lips met, it was startling. Like something I've done a thousand times, but it also felt so new. He was warm, but not in the temperature sense. He was actually rather cool, and it made me wonder if he had been sitting in front of some type of air conditioning vent. It felt as if I was safe, like he would keep me safe.
His hand cupped the side of my face, but definitely not in a progressive way. More like a caring and loving way, like he was being patient and reserved. Waiting for me to make the next move.
I expected the progression, but he didn't push at all. Just kissed me as if he was so used to the feeling there was no need to move any further. I was so used to guys trying to get things moving faster, I felt a bit awkward when he only kissed me and didn't try to feel me up.
We both froze and my eyes snapped open when I heard a creak from the front door opening. I put a finger to my lips when he looked at me. His eyes glazed over, as if hiding the disappointment but let me go and creep around him to see the door behind him.
"Jeremy?!" I asked bewildered as I saw him turn to shut the door quietly. He jumped at the sound of my voice.
I had expected him upstairs in his room all this time, when he was trying to sneak in, in the middle of the night.
He shot me a sheepish grin.
"Sorry, 'Lena. I got- uh- distracted." He ran a hand through his hair. "I lost track of time."
"Lost track of time?" I laughed. "It's almost three in the morning Jer! Did you lose track of time asleep in Bonnie's bed?" I threw my hands up. "Seriously, what does Mr. Hopkins think?" I asked.
"I'm pretty sure he doesn't know." Jeremy laughed and shrugged before bounding up the stairs and into his room. I ran to the bottom of the stairs trying to catch him,
but of course was way too slow for him.
"You better hope he doesn't!" I yelled up after him and laughed, only to hear faint laughter come from his room.
"Can you believe him?" I laughed at Stefan who just shook his head and grinned at me. "Just wait until mom and dad hear about this." I laughed again.
So fast that I almost thought I had imagined it, Stefan's face fell for a fraction of a second, but he regained the same smirk as before. But almost more guarded.
"How long have you been here?" I asked a little abruptly. I realized if Jeremy wasn't here to put me in bed, someone had to. And if Stefan had been in my room then, who is to say he hadn't been in my room before? Could he be the one who took my journal within the time I came home until I went to the Grille? He was later than the rest of us. But that means he was literally right behind us. We surely would have had to see him.
And then I realized, the same chill that ran up my back when he caught me in the kitchen, was the same chill I got when I was trying to hide my journal. Like someone had been watching me.
I was suddenly defensive as my blood ran cold and I instantly was wary of the man standing in front of me. The man I had just kissed nonetheless.
You really know how to pick them, Elena.
His eyes shot towards mine instantly alerted, and I think a little skeptical of my questioning. "I mean, I guess, when did Caroline ask you to stay?" I back tracked. I didn't want to seem defensive. I don't know why, but I definitely knew that the last thing I wanted him to know was that I am on to him.
"Oh, uh," He thought back a moment and looked away from me. Obviously over analyzing the question to make sure he didn't give anything away. "We realized you had left about fifteen minutes after you should have come back , and then I came here to find you asleep on the floor."
"You put me in bed?" I asked, surprised.
He only nodded.
How could someone that obviously cared for me the way he did, take something away from me that meant so much? I was so eager to jump to conclusions and so paranoid, I didn't even stop to think that I was completely delusional and that I was just making all of the pieces fit together. I didn't even see a car here when Caroline and I pulled up earlier that afternoon. And there was no way he would get from my house and to the Grille in under ten minutes without having some type of teleportation device. Not to mention the time he would need to hide it somewhere where I couldn't find it.
He obviously cares a great deal for me. I need to be more considerate. I mentally kicked myself for being so overly suspicious.
"Thank you." I breathed. Unsure of what to say and trying to hide my embarrassment.
"Of course." He broke a small smile.
"We should get to bed. School and all that." I said, hoping he would catch the hint. I glanced over him to see his makeshift bed set up on the living room couch.
"Are you sure you're comfortable there? We have the guest room? My Aunt Jenna sleeps in there all the time and says the bed-"
"I'm fine right here, thank you." He cut me off and forced a smile.
I only nodded and made my way up the stairs.
"Goodnight, Elena." I heard him say softly and I turned to find him gazing up at me.
"Goodnight, Stefan."