Chapter 7: Go

After weeks of making sure things were perfect, monitoring the house and keeping things secure, everything was set. The plan was in motion, the new identities ready, and the necessities packed. It was time to move. But Emily wasn't ready for it to be over.

Emily had spent a lot of time with Nate, James, and even Vince. It seemed like their relationship reached its best point at the end, when they were about to be separated and possibly never see each other again. Emily and Vince were both able to put the past in the past and just focus on the now. Because of that, they were civil and friendly, and eventually it all became genuine. The years of separation, even though she tried to bury the whole thing deep in her mind, allowed her to see Vince's perspective better and Vince hers. So, they were truly getting along after the initial reintroduction when all of the old feelings returned. It was a welcomed change.

"Better late than never, I suppose," she silently told herself.

Now, she spent just about three weeks personally getting to know smart, funny, incredible Nate and getting to know James again. But it would seem, to her, that she was keeping them around and in danger for her own personal reasons. She wrote it off as trying to make the plan and the documents as fool proof as ever, but the truth was that she didn't want to let go again. She didn't want to say goodbye.

If she didn't get over that, she could very well get them killed. And that would kill her. She loved them, and that was part of the problem. It was another kid she had to say goodbye to. First it was Nate, then Declan, and now Nate again… Why did she keep doing this to herself?

Looking at things impartially, it was clear that they were staying there for too long. Emily had things ready, put her mind into making some of the best covers she ever set up and charting out the safest travel itinerary, but her heart hadn't yet caught up to logic. She wasn't ready. She just wasn't.

But at what cost? While it was possible that they could stay there forever without ever being found, it was just as likely that someone could catch wind of their location and come after all of them. All the research she had done into the crime syndicate and Joe Bardolino was enough to terrify her and really be concerned about their safety. Still, she didn't push to move.

"What are you doing Emily?" she asked herself as she sat in the car outside of their apartment.

She spent all morning packing up a few things she would need and convincing herself that she was doing the right thing, even if it felt wrong. Her feelings didn't matter. She had to find the courage to get out and get the process started. Inhale… Hold… Exhale…

"You can do this. You have to. For Nate." She nodded, took one more deep breath, and got out of the car.

Emily didn't bother knocking as she stealthily made her way to the apartment, careful not to blatantly show her face to the cameras. The less any of them were seen on surveillance, the better.

"Hello?" she called out, not seeing anyone upon entry.

"Emily!" Nate ran from his room right to her, throwing his arms around her. "Are you here to play?" he asked her, releasing her from the hug.

"We can play," she told him.

"Yay. We can try the game you got me. Daddy said I should wait until you got here to play because he doesn't know how."

"Sounds good to me. Where are your daddies?"

"In the kitchen and in their room."

"Great. Why don't you go get the game and open it? I'll meet you in your room after I say hello to your daddies."

"Ok!"

He ran off and Emily ventured into the kitchen to see who she'd find first.

"Hey Em," James greeted her as he swirled a spoon around in a bowl. "I'm making a late lunch. Want to join us?"

"That would be great. Vince is here, right?"

"Yes. We know how to listen. Despite the claustrophobia from never leaving, you told us not to go out, and we haven't."

"Good. We need to talk later."

He looked at her curiously. "Should I be worried? What's going on?"

"Don't be worried. We'll talk later."

"Alright," he said, nodding.

"Well, Nate's waiting for me. We're going to play mancala."

"Great. He has been dying to play since you bought it for him."

"You could have just read the directions. It's a simple game."

"Where's the fun in that?"

She rolled her eyes and walked away, dropping her bag on the couch before heading into Nate's room. "Hey Noodle, game all set?"

He laughed, always finding it funny that she called him noodle, derived from Noodle Head because he loved to eat noodles, any kind of noodles.

"Uh huh. I like the rocks. They're pretty."

"Those are marbles," she explained before sitting down and getting into the history of the game a little. He loved her history lessons.

"Why do you know all this stuff?" Nate asked her once she was finished and they were beginning the game.

"Well, I moved around a lot as a kid."

"Like me?"

"Yes, just like you Nate. And everywhere I went, I tried to make the best of it and learn as much as I could. Mancala was popular in South Africa. My mom and I only went there for a few weeks, but I loved playing the game. It kept me busy and helped me make friends with the little girl that lived nearby."

"I want to go to South Africa."

"Maybe someday you will."

"With you?"

"You never know," she responded. As much as she wished she could say yes – to promise him that one day she would show him the world – she knew that was likely to never happen. Not long from then, they would probably never see each other again: no letters, no updates, nothing. He would have to be erased from her life and her from his.

Vince interrupted their talk with a knock on the opened door. "Nate, buddy, time to wash up. Lunch is ready."

"Are you staying?" Nate asked Emily before he got up.

"I am. Go wash your hands and I'll race you to the table."

"Ok," he said and ran, singing that he was going to win.

Emily started cleaning up as Vince remained. "You did a good job with him," she spoke. "Raising him. He's a great boy."

"Thank you," Vince genuinely responded. "He really likes you. I was always jealous then, you know? Of you being in his life."

"You didn't need to be jealous, Vince. I may have crossed some lines and budded in where I shouldn't have. I wasn't in the best place and I got attached to Nate. You were right. As much as I wanted to be something to Nate, I wasn't supposed to be. I knew that, just lost sight of that."

"Oh god… I did say that, didn't I? I was wrong to tell you that you were nothing. I was… I was a new father who felt threatened by you coming in and becoming a part of his life. You were his mother, in a way, and that was the one thing neither James nor I could ever be. So when I saw him take to you and love you, I was upset. It didn't help that he had your eyes, still does, and every time I look at him, I was faced with you. It was hard…" He moved closer and offered a hand to help her up. "What I'm trying to say is that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the way things went down and I wish we didn't shut you out." He didn't know that James sent her updates and she thought it best not to mention that little grace she was afforded.

"Apology accepted," Emily said, taking his hand. "Things can't be changed. We are where we are, and we can only move forward."

"Ok. So, I guess we should get in there. I can hear Nate boasting about beating you."

"Let's eat," she agreed and they went to join the others at the table.

Emily was quiet while they ate, just observing and taking it in. This was the last day they would all be together. Potentially, it was the last time she would ever see them. It was hard for her, and she was dreading telling them. The emotions were right behind her eyes, heavy, present, and waiting to explode.

She watched on as everyone was smiling and laughing, making the most of their isolation. It all seemed normal and ok for them because as long as they were together, they were happy, and, for now, she was a part of it. She did her best to remain present and to interact even though she was quiet and could barely eat her food.

"Everything ok?" James asked.

"Yes, fine," she lied.

"Don't like it? I thought you loved potato au gratin."

"I do. Just not all that hungry." She smiled to try and sell it. They didn't buy it.

"Nate, go put your dish in the sink and then you can play, alright?"

He nodded to his father and asked Emily if she was going to come play again.

"Soon. I'm just going to hang out with your daddies and finish eating first."

He accepted that answer and left the adults to talk. The men waited for her to speak, but, for a few minutes, the only noise was the clink of the metal fork against the glass plate.

"Tomorrow," she said quietly and unexpectedly.

Curious, Vince asked, "What about tomorrow?"

"We're going tomorrow," Emily told them.

"Going, going?"

"Yes."

"Are… Are you sure? I mean, do we need to? Can't we just stay here?" James asked.

Truth was that he and Vince liked it there as well. Vince never thought he'd feel this way, but he liked having Emily around. They were doing well, Nate loved England, or what he saw of it, and loved having Emily around. If they could fix things so that they weren't confined to the apartment, they were all for staying.

"You've been here too long. Who knows if anyone has been able to track you. We can't risk it."

"But is everything even ready?"

They were looking for reasons to stall just as she had. The bait was there, and Emily so wanted to take it. She couldn't.

"Yes. I have everything for you, and I'm going to explain it all to you, and then we're going to talk to Nate."

The men looked to each other and then to her. "Ok. Tell us what the plan is."

"We're splitting up."

"We? As in all of us?"

"Yes. I told you from the start that that was going to be how it would work. Vince, because you have the most experience hiding, I'm sending you north to Edinburgh. I have your ID set, and several backups in case any get burned, money, tickets, and everything." She went through his exact trajectory after getting everything out of her purse. Using the map, she showed him the car, bus, and train routes he was going to take and potential deviations if he felt followed or watched.

James, who Emily knew to be a little less capable of figuring things out if they went south, was taking an easier path. He was to use the train to get to Manchester, hop on a flight to Brussels, and then fly to Paris. It was much less complicated, but more easily traced, so she reiterated the rules for him and told him to take every precaution.

"What about Nate?"

"I'm taking him, like we discussed. You're going to have to trust me. I'm hoping they don't know I'm involved in this. But if they do, and they're after Nate, they're still likely to go after one of you before me thinking Nate would be with you. His location with me is confidential. He'll stay safe with me, but I'm not going to tell you our route. I'm not trying to worry you, but this is dangerous. There is a chance that someone from the organization could find one of us and try to use the person as leverage or to extract information." Their faces cringed at that. "So it's best that we don't know more than we already do."

"But… He's our son."

"And I promise I would lay down my life for him. I promise," she assured them, and they didn't doubt that.

Emily did her best to quell their worries, but she was worried too. The men had been doing a lot of moving and hiding, but nothing like this, and it was going to be hard for them. Still, she convinced them this was the best option and that she wouldn't have agreed to it otherwise. They all just wanted what was best for Nate and the two were aware that, even if they were caught, tortured, or whatever, they didn't care as long as their son was safe.

"Everything should take about a week."

"A week?"

"I know it seems like a long time without communicating, but it's for all of our safety. We don't know what these people know and, from what I've uncovered, Vince's family is very, very connected."

Vince didn't have anything to refute that.

"We will all meet in Paris and go to the final location together."

"What's the final location?"

"I'm not telling you."

"What?"

"Look, I'm putting in a fail-safe. In each of your travel packs are back up locations. If one of you get to Paris and the other isn't there in the assigned spot within one day of the agreed upon time, then you find your way to the location. No one will know what it is except for me, and I will contact you there."

"Emily…. This seems crazy."

"I know."

"Have you done this before?"

Sadly, she answered, "Yes. I'm not being paranoid, I'm being vigilant. That's exactly what you need to be. There's no turning back. People are after you, so we have to do this and do it right. So, very early tomorrow morning, like before most people are awake, we go. We try not to get caught on camera. Hoods up. Hats on. Do whatever to shield your face. Change clothes at every stop, and whatever you do, don't lose any of the papers or panic. Got it?"

"Got it," they agreed.

"Good, then I'm going to talk to Nate. You guys need to pack the essentials. Travel light. I have money set up for you once we get settled in the final location and it should be enough to get things going for you and to get you whatever you need."

As she stood to go see Nate, James' hand grabbed hers. "Thank you, Emily."

She silently nodded and walked away. For the rest of the night, she just wanted to spend a little time with Nate so that she could have the closest thing to closure that she could. She would never be ok with not seeing him, but she had to reconcile that with the fact that this was life or death. If Bardolino's cronies found them, they'd kill James and maybe Vince, and take Nate to be his newest prodigy. There wasn't anything she wouldn't do to prevent that.

"So, Nate. You want to help me pack?"

"Pack? Why? Are we going somewhere?"

"Yes," she said, and explained that there was a house waiting for them that would be perfect and then they wouldn't have to move anymore.

"Are you coming too?"

"For a little while, yes. You and I are going to travel together while your daddies go set up the house," she lied.

"You're not going to live with us?"

"No, Nate. I live here. So, I'm going to go with you for a little while and then you and your dads will live happily ever after."

"What about you?"

"What about me?"

"Will you live happily ever after?"

No. She couldn't see that happening now, but she wasn't going to tell that to a child. "Of course."

"Will you come visit?" he innocently asked, hopeful.

"Aww, Nate. Are you going to miss me?" Deflection…

He nodded.

"Come here," she said, pulling him into a tight hug. "I'm going to miss you too. And if there is ever a chance that I can see you again, I promise I will."

That was all the answer he needed. He moved on to help her pack his things. They didn't go crazy, just filled up a bag with some clothes, toiletries, and a few fun things to keep him occupied. They didn't have much anyway, so most of Nate's things fit into the one bag. Everything else was going into the garbage. It was sad, but that was the way it had to be.

"I think we're all set."

"Thank god," he said dramatically making Emily laugh. "Now can we play again?"

"Sure thing."

They played a few games before it came time for dinner and then bed. It was a long day and they would be leaving early, so bedtime needed to be early as well.

"Can I…" Emily stumbled with her words. "Can I tuck him in?" she asked, realizing this was her last chance.

James and Vince couldn't deny her that. "Yes. Please. He'd like that. Oh, I know. Tell him the story you told me when we were in high school."

"I don't know that any of those stories are appropriate."

"The one you told me your nanny told you as a kid."

"Ok."

It was an old folk tale from Brazil that Emily agreed was perfect for Nate, especially since he seemed fond of her out there stories. He did, indeed, love it and he fell asleep easily. Emily felt glued to her spot though. She didn't want to move, opting to just watch him sleep for a moment.

The last few weeks were everything she ever wanted with them. Her relationship with Vince was improved, though, she didn't know if that was both of them just repairing what they could and making the best of it because the situation was forcing their hands and they didn't need to be miserable while spending time together, or if it was genuine. Still, it was better. Being with James was just like old times. And getting to know Nate was something she yearned for over the last few years even if she tried to convince herself otherwise. It was like the three weeks were her dream and now it was all coming to an end.

Finally getting the courage to walk away, Emily left Nate's room in search of his fathers.

"You guys all packed?"

"We've got the essentials," James answered.

"But there's still so much. It's crazy that we've accumulated all of this in such a short time. We only came with a few suitcases and each other."

"That happens," she responded.

"You ok?" James asked, noticing her glassy eyes.

"I'm fine. Um… I need to head home to get a few last minute things for tomorrow. While I'm gone, can you get everything ready to be tossed. We need to scrub the place."

"Scrub the place?"

"Yeah. I don't care if there are pots and pans left, but I want to get rid of everything that could lead to any of you. Nothing identifiable, especially with Nate. Everything he's not taking needs to be tossed. I want it to look like a kid never lived here."

"We'll take care of it."

"Great. I'm going to spend the night on the couch again, just to make sure everything's set, and make sure we get ready and off on time in the morning. That alright with you?"

"Absolutely," both men agreed. James added, "I would like to spend a little time with you before we go, too, so it's perfect."

"I'll be back in about an hour. You know the drill."

Vince followed her to the door and did all the locks up behind her. They had work to finish in the apartment, so while Emily went to her place, they tried to do what she asked.

When Emily got home, she had a bad feeling of impending doom. She never claimed to be psychic, nor did she have any sixth sense for danger, and maybe it was just her paranoia knowing that she had prolonged the travel, but the feeling was there in full force. She didn't think she was followed, but still, she wanted to make her apartment as clean as possible, no trace of her relationship with the Hadleys, just in case.

She couldn't take everything with her. That wouldn't make sense, so she rearranged a few things, hiding the important documents and the Nate stuff in the other safe which was beyond where anyone could find it. People could search her place top to bottom, but it was very strategically placed. She didn't want to be too careful. If her research into Bardolino showed anything, it was that he was ruthless and good at both following trails and covering his track. It was possible she was on his radar now. So, she hid things.

"Good."

With that done, she felt a little better, but the feeling was still there, so she didn't want to waste time. The sooner she got back to them, the better she would feel. One final pass through her apartment and her car to make sure all was set, Emily decided she was as ready as she'd ever be, had all she needed, and, now, just needed to be with them.

Though, even that didn't solve the problem. She went there, saw that they did what she asked, took stuff out to the trash, and monitored security feeds all the while, but it wasn't enough. It was getting late, and she was tired, but she wanted to get on the road.

"I think we should move tonight," she told them.

"It's practically midnight. Why now?"

She shook her head. "I just finished getting everything out of here that needs to be out… I just… I have a bad feeling."

"Nate's sleeping."

"That's better. I can get him into my car, move to my next point, and get some distance before he wakes, and you'll be all set to leave in the morning."

"We won't get to say goodbye."

"We can wake him up…" she offered.

"No… Then he won't settle. It's just… It's hard to know we won't be able to see or talk to him for a while."

"I know…" she said. "Wake him up. Say goodbye. It's ok. He needs it too, I'm sure. Remind him that everything will be ok and that he'll be travelling with me, so it'll be like an adventure."

They nodded and did exactly that. Nate was sad, of course, but was excited to be going on an adventure with Emily "like all of her stories." They said their goodbyes, and, down the line, they would all be happy that Emily made them wake him up.

She put her hand on Nate's shoulder and said, "Come on Nate. Time to go."

He leaned into her. "I'm tired."

"I know. You can sleep in the car. Alright?"

"Alright," he said, gripping Patch as she escorted him out.

She got him settled in the car, buckled and comfortable in the back seat, but before anything else could happen, Emily's phone alerted her. "That's the alarm," she said to herself, pulling out the burner connected to the security system.

Someone tripped the alarm and, from where she was, she could see James and Vince standing in the window of Nate's room watching them. She looked to them and back to Nate. Nate was asleep, but she didn't want to leave him, so she started waving her hands wildly, the streetlight illuminating her movements before dialing the burner she knew they had.

James and Vince noticed it right away and began to open the window. However, as Vince did that, James heard something coming from the other room.

"Emily, what's going on?" Vince answered the phone.

"Get out. Get out of there."

Her warning came too late. Inside the apartment, James was being tossed to the floor by two men as another searched the place. Vince dropped the phone as one of the goons threw him up against the window asking where Nate was. "Where's the boy? Give us the boy and Joe says you can live."

Emily could hear the muffled sounds of fighting and pieces of the conversation as rushed closer, intent to help, but Vince's eyes met hers and she could see and hear him say, "Go." Go and protect Nate. She was torn, one foot ready to run back to Nate and drive off, the other set to charge in and save them. "Go." She could hear him repeat it even as he was out of sight, his body taking hits.

It was too late for them. She had to go before they caught up to her. No time to think, she got into her car, gave one quick look at Nate and sped off, just praying that the authorities, who she called as she drove, would get there in time to help them.