**Worthless**

With a swift sound the grey door opened and, as soon as Maris saw what was going on inside, she stopped dead in her tracks. It was Commander Mith'raw'nuruodo and Admiral Ar'alani - hugging.

"I'm sorry." Looking down at the steal floor, she turned around as soon as possible, quickly walking down the corridor, clutching her datapad tightly to her chest, passing people and rooms, without noticing, while her mind was on fever.

How come she hadn't seen that one coming? How stupid of her, to think he might like her. The picture of the Chiss Admiral was now forever burned into her mind. She looked stunning, almost unworldly so: Tall and thin, with high cheekbones, full lips and an incredible angular face. She could just as well be a fashion model. But not just that, she was a Fleet Admiral, an intelligent and powerful woman, whereas she was just - average. Suddenly, Maris felt unbelievably worthless. How could she ever have thought…. But Ar'alani and Thrawn - they made quite a couple, visually as well as intellectually. And she... well, it had probably been wishful thinking. Thrawn was handsome and cultivated, unlike so many men she had met during those last years. She had just liked the thought. But thinking about it now, soberly, Maris had to see that the idea was laughable, really. But, looking at the bright side, she had at least noticed her mistake before she had made a complete fool of herself. A man like the Commander would never be interested in someone like her.

The language lesson went by quickly and Jori had made considerable progress. He and the Commander seemed to get on well.

"That's it for today. You did well."

"Not as well as you." Jori commented and got up from the couch. Maris took her datapad and followed his example before she then smiled shyly and followed her friend to the door.

"Miss Ferasi, could I have a moment of your time, please?" The Commander asked and Maris automatically felt a huge stone in her stomach. This was about yesterday, she knew it. Actually she had thought about skipping the lesson altogether to avoid this conversation. She could have helped Rak with listing the cargo, or the crew with cleaning the wreckage, both had seemed more attractive, but, in the end, she hadn't done it. It would only have postponed the inevitable.

"Of course," Maris said and then returned to the couch. Jori was eyeing her suspiciously before entering the turbolift. He had gotten the completely wrong idea and she could only hope that he wouldn't tell Dubrak. This day was already bad enough without having to deal with one of his infamous fits of jealously.

"You were unusually quiet today." The Chiss said once they were alone.

"Perhaps. I guess so."

"Was it because of yesterday?"

Maris took a deep breath and then choose to look outside, through the enormous viewscreen.

"I am sorry I interrupted, I was told I could find you there and I wanted to ask you something concerning the translation. It wasn't important, but I just walked in without thinking. Sorry." Maris bit her lower lip. She always did that in uncomfortable situations.

"You were troubled by what you saw." It wasn't a question; still, Maris felt the overwhelming urge to respond.

"No! Of course not!"

"It's not how you think it is."

She found that hard to believe, but he probably had good reason to say so, Ar'alani was his superior officer after all. Of course, things in the Ascendancy could be totally different from how things were handled in the Republic, but, all in all, the Chiss were surprisingly Human.

"Look, if you're afraid I'll tell something, I promise I won't. It's none of my business." She just wanted this to be over and never to think about it again.

"The Admiral and I are friends, we have been for a long time. But we are not in an intimate relationship."

"You don't have to tell me this," Maris said, shifting uneasily on her seat, avoiding eye contact.

"But I want to."

"Why?"

"I had the feeling you liked me. Was I wrong?"

Maris placed her head in her hands. This was probably one of the most embarrassing moments of her life! There was no way out of this with her head up high. She had been so stupid - again. At least, they would leave this place soon, and never return.

"I'm sorry. I guess I'm not good at hiding my feelings. Let's just forget about it, ok?"

"You are right. You are not good at hiding your feelings and seeing your face yesterday, more or less confirmed my suspicions."

"Are you done embarrassing me?"

It hurt more than it should. She had been there before, but it still hurt.

Had she looked up, she might have been able to see the alarm in his red eyes.

"I don't understand."

"It is embarrassing to confess that you like someone knowing the feeling is not mutual." She explained and then added, "I want to leave now."

Quickly she got up and turned around without looking at him. But before she could leave, he caught one of her hands.

"You do not understand. Please… I wanted to talk to you because it is…mutual."

Maris releases the air from her lungs with an audible puff.

"Sure." She said sarcastically.

"Why do you doubt me?"

"Because men like you are not with women like me and if they are - it's not for real."

"Women like you?"

"I know I'm not special. I might have forgotten for a moment, but I know."

He shook his head.

"You are special. Everyone is."

"How philosophical." No, she was not going to listen to him. She was not falling for this. She would not be hurt again. "How?" She spread her arms. "How am I special? I'm not as beautiful as Ar'alani, nor am I as smart."

"For once, you are a good person."

"I'm not."

"Yes, you are. You are considerate, compassionate, and honest. You believe in the good of others and make a conscious effort to be a positive force. You help whenever and wherever you can, without asking anything in return. And you saved my life, even after you were angry with me for shooting at the living shields."

"Everyone would have done that."

"No. You are the most selfless person I know. And you are beautiful. But I have the feeling it doesn't matter what I tell you because you already chose to believe that no one could like you and therefore you let yourself be treated like a worthless piece of junk by the very same man who should love you."

Maris could feel the tears in her eyes. He was right. But hearing it coming from his mouth made it even worse. Before she knew that was happening, he took her in his arms and kissed her forehead.

"I'm sorry I hurt you."

"No. You're right. Dubrak …has his faults. But he tries to better himself."

"Stop defending him. He isn't worth your affections."

"And you are?"

"Only one way to find out." He leaned down and gently touched her lips with his, carefully checking her reaction. "Give me a chance." And she did.

THE END