I had a hard day, so thought I'd drop this one a little early on the off chance that reading this story helps someone else escape their hard day.
Chapter 14: Reunited
In the late hours of the night, while Nate was sound asleep, Emily made her first attempt at contact with the outside world beyond her mother. It would take a day or so for the package to arrive, but when it did, she had no doubt that the recipient would be able to figure out what it meant and get in contact with her.
But it would be a hard few days before that happened. Nate continued to struggle as did Emily, and it was just a sad time. Emily tried to keep them both busy, minds occupied, and well taken care of. It worked sometimes, and sometimes it just made Nate think of his fathers more. She was hoping though, that, once she had the team helping her, they would be able to take down the Bardolino family and get Nate to James, so at least he could see his father.
Thankfully, the wheels for that were already in motion. The package was delivered the next day. A very surprised Spencer Reid came home after another long and fruitless Sunday at the office looking for something to help Emily, to find a package he wasn't expecting: one that had no return address or any identifying features. It made him a little nervous, given his line of work, but he took it along with the rest of the mail, back into his apartment somewhat intrigued by the possibilities.
Leaving the rest of his mail unattended, he took the package into the den to grab the letter opener. Slicing it opening, he wasn't sure what he was expecting, but a book sure wasn't on the list. Had he ordered it and forgot? Solaris? Hmm… There was nothing wrong with the book, but he didn't ever go out looking for it. Why would he order it now? He didn't. He'd swear to it.
He looked for any note or something that may have accompanied the book. Whoever sent it had to have written something to let him know who it was from, right? The answer was a little more complicated than that. There was no note saying to Reid from X, but when he flipped through the pages, there was a computer written note, likely from the delivery service, that fell to the ground.
Spencer picked up the paper and stared at it.
It was code. He smiled. Solaris and code… It didn't take long for the ideas to swirl. Solaris was something he only talked about with one other person, the only person that he knew who could understand the original Russian movie based on the very book that was in his hand.
"Emily."
They were hoping she'd reach out at some point, but he didn't anticipate it being to him. Penelope was the natural choice. She had the computer skills to help, but she chose him. Why? Instead of overanalyzing, he wanted to make sense of her note.
Aside from the greeting, "Spencer," nothing would readily make sense, but the book was the first clue. It had to be the key. So, he began reading. Even as he read, the code Emily left didn't make sense. What was he doing wrong?
He spent several hours trying multiple combinations of codes, running through every option. He knew a lot and could pull up new knowledge faster than most, but he couldn't truly make magic happen. Now he was running out of things to try and he drank all the coffee he had left in his apartment. He wasn't seeing something that was right in front of him. Maybe, he thought, he just needed to step away from it for a moment.
The clock already read after ten. He probably shouldn't have been looking for coffee this late, but he knew he wouldn't be able to sleep until he solved this riddle. So, he left. He left to clear his head of the workday and the puzzle that was driving him crazy and went in search of Folgers to replenish his supply. He had a feeling that, even if he didn't drink it tonight, he would need it in the morning.
As he walked around, his mind drifted back to the code. It was a series of numbers that he, at least initially, believed to be a binary code, each set representing a book page and word number. But the messages he got, no matter how many variations he tried, never amounted to anything but a bunch of fragmented thoughts. That, he was sure, wasn't what Emily intended for him.
Then what was the actual key? It clearly wasn't the book, but the book had to be relevant or why send it? So, he thought, then how it could be related. What did the book point to? He thought on that some more as he walked the store, grabbed what he needed, and paid. It wasn't until he was almost home that an idea struck him.
Solaris, the movie! That was what he invited her to go see during the Doyle fiasco. She said no because, he figured out eventually, she was being vigilant and distancing herself from the team, just as she was now. That had to be it. The numbers had to refer to something in or about the movie.
That was the first thing he checked when he got home, and, sure enough, he got a coherent message.
"Yes!" he yelled to the empty apartment.
"Please call me," it read and was followed by a number that was spelled out, and the words, "Just you. Use burner phone."
Excitedly, Spencer looked to the clock. It was past midnight. Did that mean it was too late to call? He debated it briefly, but ultimately decided to wait until the morning. Wherever she was, he knew that she was on edge and possibly hurt. Still, if there was even a chance that she was resting, he wanted her to remain doing so. It was a tossup.
It was a hopeful thought, but if she was, he had to give her the chance. He knew Emily, and he was sure that she had already bitten her nails down to the beds and was stressing everything, so he didn't want to mess up any sleep she might be getting. His decision, however, led him to a night of little sleep.
Despite his best efforts, he remained restless. He tossed and turned, he counted sheep… Nothing helped. His mind was much to active and the anticipation too strong. After a few hours of fruitless attempts, Spencer turned over in bed and saw the clock. It was already six. Clearly, there was no point in trying anymore, so he threw the covers off and walked directly to the coffee machine to get that brewing.
After that, he didn't waste any time. He eyed the notebook with the decoded message on the table. He wanted to call. Spencer wasn't sure how much longer he could wait. It was late enough in the morning to call, right?
"Are any stores open this early that would carry burner phones?" he asked himself.
There was a convenience store nearby that he thought would carry them, so he poured the coffee into the travel mug, threw on the first pair of shoes he could find and set out in search of a burner. Thankfully, once he got there, the store had just one phone that he took and paid for right away, rushing home the moment the transaction was complete.
As soon as he stepped foot into his apartment, Spencer grabbed the scissors and ripped open the plastic package. Pulling the plastic apart so quickly, he accidentally stabbed it into his hand, slicing his palm open. He didn't bother doing more than pressing a cloth on it to stem the bleeding, and, when it came to the phone, he didn't worry about setting anything up. If it made and received calls, that was all that mattered.
He was eager. Following the note's instructions, he dialed the number waiting impatiently to hear Emily's voice. He knew it was still early, but he was confident that she'd answer. It took a few rings, but she did.
Ominously, because she hadn't recognized the number, Emily picked up the call with no words. Spencer no longer heard the ringing, but not hearing anything else either, became a little confused. He pulled the phone away from his ear to see if they were still connected. They were.
"Hello? Emily? Are you there?"
"Spencer," she said, her voice timid and tired.
"Yes. It's me. I waited as long as I could, but I couldn't wait anymore. I know it's barely morning and you were probably sleeping but I –"
"It's ok," she cut him off.
"I… I don't know what to say. I have so many questions. Where do I start? Are you ok? Where are you? What's going on?" He continued with a rant full of questions, so many that Emily felt as overwhelmed as him.
"Calm down Spence. I… I would like to see you. Can you meet me?"
"Today?" He eagerly suggested. He would go right then and there if he could.
"That works."
"After work," Spencer told her. "We're only taking local cases because… well, so we can find you. I have to tell them…"
"No!" she cut him off. "Don't tell them anything. Not yet. I want to talk with you, but I want to do it in person and then we can figure things out."
"Oh… Ok."
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sound so harsh."
"It's ok."
She sighed. "No. I didn't mean to snap. It's just… It's been a long few days."
Now he sighed. He was sure it had been a rough few weeks for Emily, and he was about to, possibly, make it worse. "Emily… I don't know if you know this, but your friend is in the hospital and the other is dead."
"I know," she sadly responded. "I… I know…"
"I'm so sorry."
"Thanks…"
"Are you ok, Emily?"
"I'm…" she wanted to say good or fine, but was she? "I'm doing my best," she answered honestly. "I miss you."
"I miss you too."
Just so happy to hear his voice, Emily had to contain her emotion. There were things she wanted to say and things she wanted to ask, but not over the phone. She allowed him a few trivial questions and offered vague answers but didn't let any of the tougher questions slide. They spent a half hour on the phone, longer than she wanted, with little accomplished or learned except for the comfort that just sharing a phone line provided.
"You better hang up now," Emily said. "If you don't leave to catch the subway soon, you're going to be late for work."
"Oh crap," he exclaimed as he saw the time. "Are you sure that I can't tell anyone?"
"Not yet. Please, Spencer. We can talk. Call me when you're free and I'll tell you how to get here."
"At least tell me where here is."
"Goodbye Spencer."
"But Emily."
"Talk later."
She left him no room to say anything, simply hanging up on him and leaving him thinking "how rude." But he didn't give it much more thought. Sure, he gave her tone of voice plenty of thought and her evasiveness even more thought, but the hang up was trivial. Still, the whole conversation didn't settle his nerves. If anything, he was more worried about her.
And that would remain on his mind all day. That would be part of the reason he was dazed and missed his normal subway which made him late for work. Spencer went running into the office, sweat licked brow and all wild eyed.
"Are you ok?" JJ asked him immediately upon his arrival.
He rushed to his desk not even realizing
"What? Yeah. Fine. I'm good."
"Well, now we know you're not," Penelope said, catching Spencer's odd reply as she came in the bullpen. "And people think I'm on drugs. Boy genius here looks wired on coffee."
JJ nudged her. Joking about drugs wasn't funny when the subject was actually an addict.
"Sorry. What I mean is, why are you so… fumbley? Did you have a late night with a girl?" She perked at the thought. "Do you have a girlfriend? Oh! So cute… But so not the time. Sexy time is for after we find Emily and keep her from life in prison."
"There's no girl," he said, though that was technically a lie. There was a woman keeping him up, the same woman that was keeping them all up. "I'm fine. I just didn't have any coffee left and had to get a cup on my way, so I missed the subway I normally take which made me late," he explained.
They bought it for the time being, especially since they all just wanted to get back to work, but there were eyes on him for the rest of the day. He stayed relatively absent from the conversation. He was clumsier than normal, walking into things, dropping papers. Even when they were called to help on a local case, he became even more distracted. All he could think about was solving it as soon as possible and getting out of there to go to Emily.
"What's on your mind?" Hotch finally asked Spencer. The kid was twitching all day, hand constantly in his bag. Though all Spencer was doing was feeling for the burner phone to make sure he didn't miss any calls from Emily, to the concerned Unit Chief, it looked more like drug seeking behavior. Given the past, he had to be worried about that.
"The case," he responded.
"Anything else?"
Spencer shrugged.
"You can talk to me, you know. Is it about Emily?" When Spencer didn't offer any response, Hotch took that as confirmation. "We're all worried about her and what's going on. I know it's tough right now, but we have to focus on this case so that we can get back to working on clearing Emily's name and finding her." He put his hand on the younger man's shoulder. "We need your head in the game."
Quietly, Spencer squeaked out, "I know."
"If you can't, go head back to the office."
"What?"
"Spencer, I know there's more going on here than just trying to understand what's happening and helping Emily. If you don't want to talk about it, that's fine, but you're not helping us. You're not focusing and you're… You're jittery. Go to a meeting, please. And then go hang back with Garcia. She's working on something with Clyde and I'm sure they could use your help."
"I'm not using," Spencer made clear. "I'm clean."
"Let's keep it that way. I know right now is stressful. One of us always seems to end up in trouble. But we'll figure this out. You take care of you first. Alright?"
Nodding, he insisted he would and thanked his boss. So, the go to thought was that he was turning to drugs, but after his confession to JJ about being tempted following Emily's return from the dead, he expected that on some level. He made them doubt him. Only, this time he had a reason to be a little on edge and he couldn't tell them. That was kind of the same thing, just a different secret. He shook it off and, with head hung low, Spencer left the precinct to head back to Quantico.
The rest of the team watched as he left without a word.
"What's going on?" Derek asked Hotch. "Where's boy wonder going?"
"I sent him back to help Garcia at the office."
They all looked skeptical before Rossi asked, "Any reason why?"
"He's worried about Emily," Hotch explained. "I think after Doyle, he's… sensitive to the situation."
"As we all are," Dave said.
The team agreed, but Hotch reiterated that he thought Spencer was having a little trouble working on the case when he feared for Emily, so he thought it best to send the genius back to the office to help Clyde. No one fought against it, just worried a little more about Spencer. They all noticed his odd, very anxious behavior so far that day.
With him gone, they were able to concentrate more fully and power through the case, but it only gave more time for Spencer to spend thinking about Emily and all the unanswered questions. Everything she told him and everything she left out played through his mind.
He was literally counting down the seconds until he could make it out of there without being questioned. Even Penelope and Clyde noticed something was up. "Is there something I'm missing here?" Clyde quietly asked Penelope as she monitored Spencer.
"No?" she answered, more questioningly than knowingly.
Honestly, Penelope wasn't sure. Spencer wasn't acting like Spencer. After talking to JJ and learning that not one Reid fact was spouted throughout the day and then seeing for herself how in the clouds he was, Penelope was… concerned to say the least. And she questioned whether it was truly about Emily because, if it was, wouldn't he have been like this from the start? Something changed, and no one knew what.
Clyde, along with everyone else, continued to observe closely as he asked the younger man for some thoughts on his mole theory. The two most promising leads didn't pan out, so they were back to the drawing board. Spencer was no help, but Clyde did learn a lot about him as they spent the afternoon together. Mostly, he learned that Spencer had a secret and, while everyone else was worried it was a drug craving, Clyde had other thoughts.
Once five rolled around and the rest of the team closed the case they were working on, Spencer was more than eager to get the heck out of there. He didn't wait for their return, didn't say bye to Clyde or Penelope, and didn't even bother to grab his stuff off his desk. He had his bag, and that was all he needed.
A safe distance away from the building, Spencer called Emily again. "I'm coming. Tell me how to get there," he forcefully said. He wasn't going to take no for an answer.
"I like this version of you, Spencer. Tell someone what you want and get it," Emily teased him.
"Come on, Em. Please. Today has been terrible. I can't wait any longer."
"Where are you exactly?"
"Near that park about a mile from Quantico."
"Ok. I'm going to tell you how to get here, but you have to follow my directions without question, and you have to make sure no one follows you."
"I can do that," he assured.
"You have your metro card?"
"Always."
"Good, you're going to need it."
Emily gave him some crazy directions. She instructed him to walk about half a mile in one direction then take a bus in the opposite direction, going past where he started to begin with. And it only became crazier and more hectic from there.
"Is this really needed?" he asked her, flustered when she told him what to do. "Can't you just give me the address?"
"No. Absolutely not. If you want to come here, this is how it must be. Now, you have all the directions, follow them and call once you get to the last stop."
"And then what?"
"Then I'll tell you the rest of the way."
He was frustrated. Never had he worked so hard and in such confusion just to make it some place. He would do it for Emily or anyone he loved, but that didn't make it easier. In the end, he ended up getting lost a time or two, which he thought would actually help with whatever Emily was making him do rather than hurt. But he was beyond relieved when he finally made it to the last part of her directions.
"That took longer than I thought it would," Emily said when he called. "Are you ok?"
"I think I'm supposed to be asking you that."
She ignored that and continued. "Last part of the trip is easy. I promise." She told him what to do and said that she'd be waiting for him.
As she did, she wanted to ready Nate. She wasn't hiding him, but she wasn't sure what the team knew about him, if anything, so she wasn't going to force the issue. Que será, será. She wasn't hiding Nate, but she wasn't flaunting him either. That was how she was playing the situation.
Emily set him up in his room with a movie to watch and a few snacks promising him that she'd be right downstairs if he needed her. She had just enough time to get down before the alarm told her someone was coming, and she needed to get the door.
She left the crutches out of sight and purposely wore loose pants that would cover her brace. She didn't want Spencer to worry like her mother did when they first saw each other. Spencer seemed worried enough already. No need to make it worse.
There was a soft knock at the door. Knowing it was him, Emily didn't hesitate to open it. She smiled seeing him.
"Spencer," she said.
"Hi Emily." His face softened, no longer paranoid from the journey and thrilled to see her. He didn't wait for another word, just hugged her. "I'm happy you're alive."
"Me too." Emily pulled away and looked at him. "I'm sorry I had you do all that just to get here, but I'm happy you're here. Come in."
"Thanks. It was… I got lost a few times," he responded bashfully.
"That's ok."
Emily escorted him into the living room. "Can I get you anything?"
"No. I'm fine."
"Alright." Emily nodded and moved to sit with him.
He eyed her carefully. She was trying to hide it, but she couldn't.
"You're limping."
She remained silent.
"Is it… Is it from Paris?" he asked, immediately garnering all her attention.
Her eyes narrowed and bored into his. "You know about that?"
"Garcia found the footage. We watched what happened. Are you alright?"
"I'm fine. Just… bruised."
"You're lying. Don't lie to me. I'm here because I care, Emily. I need you to be honest with me. We all want to help you, and I get that it's hard to need help. Really, I do. But please don't lie to me. Tell me what happened."
Sadly, Emily agreed to listen to his pleas. "I had a concussion, but that's better. The bump's almost gone, and the headaches are fewer, probably more caffeine withdrawal than actual head injury stuff."
"And the leg?" he asked, genuinely concerned and curious.
"It's hurt, but not broken," she responded vaguely.
"A sprain?" He watched Emily's reaction carefully. She shied away and that was how he knew it wasn't that simple. "Emily…"
"Tore my ACL, but I'm ok. The doc says it'll heal in time."
"No. He probably said that you need surgery and physical therapy."
"Well, I don't exactly have the freedom to do that right now, do I?"
"I guess not… But how are you feeling? Does it hurt?"
"Really Spencer, I'm doing ok. After getting here, I had a doctor check me out. Everything's fine."
He was skeptical, but appeased enough to let it go, especially when Emily offered him the perfect segue. "How did you get here?"
"I flew?" she offered. Knowing it wouldn't be enough to satisfy him, she sighed and told him an abridged version of events, sparingly adding details.
"Was that safe?"
"Is any of it safe, Spencer? I'm in hiding. Or did you not notice the very alternative route you took to get here?"
"I noticed. I was just worried about your health. We saw the crash and then the attack. How can I not be concerned?"
"I know. I'm sorry. I know you have questions. Go ahead. Ask them."
He did. He chose where to start very carefully and began with, what he considered the most expected questions. Spencer asked about what happened and how she got involved. Emily knew that they knew about James and Vince, so she reiterated that and gave a little more insight into the relationship.
"I didn't know that Vince was really Dominic Bardolino until a few weeks ago."
He watched her face as she talked. Emily began to stare off but didn't let it break the flow. Spencer could tell, though, that she was deep in her own thoughts as she talked with him.
"Now you have an entire mob trying to find you."
"I do," Emily agreed.
They talked for a bit, really getting into things. Emily wanted to know how much the team knew and filled in some of the blanks for Spencer, but he was curious about a few things that he wanted to address.
"How come…" he cleared his throat. "Why didn't you come to us? To me or the team, or even Clyde?"
"Oh Spencer…" She thought that she should have seen that question coming. "I didn't anticipate any of this happening. I had a plan. I was helping an old friend out, and that was supposed to be that. Things got… complicated as you know, but I thought I could handle it. I was handling it until that last night. We…. They were attacked and told me to go. I had to go. After that, I was living on a whim. Nothing was truly planned and reaching out felt too risky."
"We could have helped."
"I know."
He wasn't sure he was satisfied with that, so he asked more and looked for more solid answers. He brought up the mole theory, and she was inclined to agree with him. That was a very strong possibility, according to her, but she knew, like their theories proved, that the options they had weren't right.
"Do you have any idea who it could be then?"
"I… I'm not sure. I don't know how everything is connected, and, until I know that, I can't put the pieces together."
Spencer wanted to discuss that further and offer her some of their insights, and he also really wanted to address the elephant in the room, the one only he knew that he knew, and ask about Nathaniel. But before Spencer could get into anything more or could ask any questions, the topic he was leading toward came into the room.
"Emily, I'm itchy," Nate said, holding up his casted arm, an exhausted, almost harried look on his face. The itch was driving him crazy and Emily made him promise not to stick anything in there. He was trying so hard to keep the promise. "Please make it stop itching."
Seeing the desperate look on the boy's face, Emily sprung into action. "Ok. I can take care of this." Think, she told herself. "Run up to my room and look under the bathroom sink. There's a blow dryer there. Bring it to me."
"But…"
"Get it. I know what will help," she assured Nate.
When he ran off, Emily looked at Spencer who clearly knew who Nate was and was observing them. "That's Nate," she told him anyway. "He's James' son. And Vince…" She shook her head and corrected herself. "Dominic."
Spencer was at a loss for words, not because he was seeing Nate in person, but because the papers he found were still burning a hole in his bag and, now, watching them for the briefest moment, he was even more confused about the situation.
"Emily…"
He took too long to talk. They could hear the footsteps approaching and Nate running in with the blow dryer.
"Hang on. Ok? I need to help him. Then we can talk more."
Emily plugged in the blow dryer and told Nate to hold out his hand. Putting on the cold air. Spencer watched as she comforted him, holding the casted hand in her own as the other held up the blow dryer to the edge of the plastered area, aiming the cool air under the cast.
"Is it helping?" she asked after a minute.
"It feels better."
"Good. It's not as good a feeling as scratching, but it takes care of the problem. I'll ask the doctor about an antihistamine. That might help."
"Thanks," Nate told her, relief painting his features.
"You're welcome. I'm going to leave this down here. If we need to do it again, we can. Just tell me first because I don't want you to use the wrong setting."
"Ok."
"Want to meet one of my friends that I told you about?"
Until then, Nate hadn't even noticed that there was someone else there. He was too preoccupied with the insatiable itch. "One of your friends? The cops?"
Kind of… "Yes."
"Ok. I want to."
"Alright." She smiled. "Nate, this is my friend Spencer. Spence, this is Nate."
It was the first time that Spencer was able to truly see Nate. He wanted to say he could look at the boy and just know that he was or was not related to Emily, but he couldn't. There were a lot of things about him, physical and otherwise, that Spencer was able to observe and could potentially attribute to Emily, but that wasn't concrete. It could be that he was seeing what he wanted to see, or an answer that he was searching for proof of. Still, it made him wonder more. And when he was given the opportunity to interact with the child himself, Spencer jumped on it.
"Hi Nate. Cool cast."
"There's a drawing on it that Emily gave me. It glows in the dark. Want to see?"
Into it, he nodded. "Yeah. Show me."
"We have to go in the closet. It's dark in there."
"Ok. Lead the way."
Nate happily showed Spencer to the closet and closed them in. The cast had spots with a neon glow. There were animals drawn all over it.
"Emily used special pens that we found. Isn't that awesome?"
"It is. I didn't know that Emily could draw."
"She's really good."
"Looks that way. Hey, can I draw you something too?"
"Ok." Nate nodded. "But don't mess up my pictures."
"I won't."
He ended up adding a few more animals and cartoon figures. Emily liked to watch them interact. She liked knowing that people important to her were getting to know each other, but she didn't want them to get attached. Nothing about this was supposed to be permanent and she couldn't allow herself to think that that would change. As much as she'd like to keep Nate to herself forever, that would mean James had to die, and she didn't want that.
"Nate, I know you're having fun with Spencer, but I need to borrow him. You can stay down here if you want, but we're going to have grown up talk, or you can head upstairs and finish your movie."
He thought on it. "Movie."
"Ok. Say goodbye to Spencer and head up. I'll be there soon."
"Bye Spencer. Thanks for the picture and for showing me the cool trick."
"You're welcome," he said. "That's our secret, though. Don't share it with anyone." Spencer hugged him.
Returning the hug, Nate said, "I won't. Bye."
Emily watched him go with a relieved smile. Nate had been struggling, but he seemed to have genuine fun with Spencer. And he smiled again, which always made Emily feel warm and happy.
"You care about him," Spencer said as he watched her watch Nate.
"More than you could know," she responded, so quiet he could barely make it out. "Of course I do. He's… I was close with him and the guys when he was a baby."
"I… Is he… I found something. When we were searching the Hadley house in Virginia."
Her eyes narrowed, unsure where he was going with this. It seemed off topic. "Ok… What did you find?"
They both returned to their once abandoned seats before Spencer spoke.
"I… There was…"
"Spencer, just say it."
"I don't know how to make sense of it. Logically, I understand the words, but I still don't understand…"
"And neither do I," Emily said. "What are you getting at?"
"Is Nate… Are you… Is he yours?"
Caught off guard and trying to stall, Emily responded, "Nate isn't an object Reid."
Somewhat exasperated, he pushed, "Come on, Emily. You know what I'm asking. Is he?"
"No," Emily answered after a moment of silence.
"No?" His eyes bulged. She was lying?
"I didn't give birth to him," she told him.
"But biologically, he is yours. Right?"
She looked down and away from him, silent.
"Emily?" She still didn't speak, but she looked at him, trying to say yes or just utter something. "I found the contract you signed. I thought I misread it… Or I hoped I did because I think I know you. Giving someone the opportunity for a child like that is so kind and generous, but it had to be hard on the woman… Especially one like you who has so much love to give and would make such an excellent mother."
"But I'm not a mother…"
"Maybe not, but…"
"But what?"
"I can't unsee the resemblances."
She scrunched her nose. "Yeah… It's hard to unsee once you go looking."
"Are you ok?" He asked. There was so much he wanted to know, but he realized she couldn't take it. She had been through a lot recently and this was an old wound that had been reopened. He couldn't allow himself to make it rawer.
"Trying to be." She offered a half smile. "Does everyone know? About Nate."
"We all know he exists, but… No, I'm the only one that knows about this."
She looked to him pleadingly. "Please don't tell them. No one knows. It was… It has been… It's just not something I…"
"I get it," he helped her.
"You do?"
"Well, no, not really, but I know you and I see what just asking has done. I'd like to know more. I'd like to ask questions, but you're not ready. So, I'll wait. I don't know if I can prevent them from finding out, and I won't stop them. We're all trying to help. But they won't find this out from me."
"Thank you, Spencer."
It pained him not to get the answers he sought about Nate and the whole situation, like how it happened in the first place or whether she had been any part of the boy's life. He wanted to know. He wanted to be there to support Emily. He just wanted to be a friend, but being a friend, in that moment, meant knowing when to leave it be. So, instead, he went back to the most urgent topic. It was getting late, Emily had a kid to tend to, and he had a circus side show of a trek back home. They needed to get to the point.
Spencer asked for any leads she might have or any details that could help clear her name. Emily offered what she could. She allowed him to do a cognitive interview to see what they could find about the night they were attacked. Nothing she said really helped, but it was more than they started with.
"What are you going to tell them?"
"I don't know. I'll figure it out."
"Whatever happens, Spencer, I'm sorry for dragging you into this."
"Whether we were involved or not… You're in it, so we are too."
"Thank you." She hugged him, reveling in the familiarity and comfort of his arms.
"Call me again. Let me know if you need anything."
"And call me if you find something."
"I will."
"Take care of yourself, Spencer."
He silently nodded and wordlessly told her to do the same. There was an unspoken promise on both ends that they would fight and do whatever to clear up the mess that she was in.
"See you soon," he hopefully said.
She could only hope that they would. She missed him and everyone else. The tiny reunion wasn't enough, and she was sad watching him leave. She was angry that she was making him keep so many secrets and was just hoping that it was the right choice. Maybe she should have let him tell the team. She could have interacted with them through Spencer…
Emily decided to think on it. She risked plenty just by bringing Spencer there. Could she risk more?
Shaking it off, she locked up the house and headed upstairs to Nate. She was exhausted. Talking was exhausted and she foresaw many more times in the future that that would be happening.
Nate was half asleep already, so it didn't take much to cement it. After tucking Nate in and making sure he was out for the night, Emily quietly made her way to her room through the dark hallway. As she entered the door and went to flip the light switch, a chill ran down her spine and a voice made her freeze.
"Hello Emily. You're a hard person to track down."