Summary: Looking at the sky usually made Tanaka forget about his worries. But today it only made him feel trapped and alone. Yet once Okuyama showed up he didn't feel that lonely anymore.

Living Forever As You Are Now

Not having found who he had been searching for Okuyama went to the only place he hadn't looked for him yet: The rooftop. And really, he hadn't even to look around much, Tanaka was right there, leaning against the railing. The sound of the door opening had caught his attention. He turned around, the frown he had been wearing disappearing once he had recognized Okuyama. The look he was wearing right now looked downright friendly though not even by a stretch could it have been described as a smile. Well, not that Okuyama was one to complain. Smiling without having a good reason to was not something he felt comfortable with either.

Okuyama nodded in Tanaka's direction. "Tanaka-san? I've been looking for you."

"You did?"

"I downloaded the blueprints that we're still lacking. As soon as you have the time we can go over them."

"That's good", Tanaka said and now he was showing a genuine smile that looked slightly embarrassed: "Actually, we could do so right now. I'm not exactly busy or anything."

"It's not really urgent. Just wanted to let you know that I'm finished", Okuyama said, walking closer. He came to a halt next to Tanaka, leaning his cane against the railing. It wasn't the first time he had found Tanaka on the roof when he had been searching for him. The answer for this wasn't very complicated, honestly: As isolated as their hideout was as lovely was the sight it offered if one was standing on the rooftop. One could see the forest bordering closely to the building and the mountains behind it. And over it the endless blue of the sky. Tanaka had never explicitly said so but Okuyama had noticed anyway that he liked looking at the vast space it offered. Okuyama wasn't exactly an outside person but looking at the fluffy white clouds hanging in the blue sky today he couldn't deny that the sight looked very pretty.

Seeing Okuyama settling down next to him Tanaka absentmindedly nodded and kept staring into the distance. His eyes lacked their usual frown but now that Okuyama was standing closer he noticed that they were looking downright sad instead. Whatever solace Tanaka's mind usually experienced while looking at the sky today he couldn't seem to find it.

Okuyama pointed at an especially large and fluffy cloud. "You know what this one reminds me of? Cotton candy. I get hungry for sweets just by looking at it."

The remark earned him a short laugh from Tanaka. "Cotton candy? It somehow reminds me of a sheep."

"Because it's so white and fluffy?"

"Yeah. Yeah, like that", Tanaka said, beginning to sound melancholic again.

For a while they remained silent, just looking at the view. Then Tanaka continued talking: "Okuyama? Say, have you ever travelled by plane?"

At first Okuyama felt surprised by the sudden question. But then suddenly he understood. The spectacular clouds in the sky had distracted him from it but actually today's sky was full of contrails. Something about the weather condition seemed to make them stay even though the planes that had caused them were already out of sight since long ago. Okuyama tried to answer: "A few times. To Okinawa and once to Hokkaido."

Tanaka gave him a short and intent look but instantly kept staring at the sky again. "I see." He seemed to search for the right words. "I never had the opportunity to. I was just suddenly beginning to wonder what it might be like, travelling by plane." After a short moment he added: "I think I'll never get the chance to do it."

So that's what this had been about. Just like Okuyama had begun to suspect. He nodded as a sign that he had been listening. "I see." He felt hesitant to say more; somehow he had the impression that Tanaka still wanted to say more.

Okuyama's guess had been right. Only a second later Tanaka continued: "I mean, I can't imagine I ever get the chance to do it, not now. At the moment it would be impossible because they're still looking for me. And to tell you the truth, I don't have much hope that this is going to change anytime soon."

Here on the roof a soft but steady breeze was going. Okuyama brushed a strand of his bangs aside it had blown in front of his eyes. "You know, travelling by plane is pretty overrated. Basically you're just stuck together with a bunch of strangers in a metal cabin. For hours. And the fact that's you're in the air doesn't make this any more comfortable."

This comment finally succeeded in prying Tanaka's attention away from the contrails. He looked at Okuyama, making a genuinely surprised impression: "Doesn't the view make up for it? I mean, you're up in the air. That always sounded like a nice concept to me."

Okuyama shook his head. "What's the chance you're getting a window seat? There's a bigger probability of ending up with an annoying seat neighbour instead. And the air is so dry up there, it's annoying."

Tanaka was beginning to look thoughtful. "I see. So it's actually not that wonderful after all."

"No, not at all", Okuyama insisted, noticing that Tanaka no longer gave off the melancholic impression he had worn in the beginning. Feeling encouraged by this he continued: "And good luck if you have sensitive ears. The air pressure can cause your inner ear beginning to hurt. Chewing gum is supposed to help against it but that one time I ended up with that it did nothing to help."

For a moment Tanaka went very still, his eyes getting an empty look. Then he rapidly blinked, as trying to fight against whatever it was that had gotten hold of him. "Your inner ear hurt? That's no good."

Suddenly Okuyama was beginning to feel very self-aware. "I'm sorry, it must sound like I'm just whining around. But it really was awful and nothing I did helped."

Tanaka shook his head, voice sounding serious: "What? No, you don't sound like that. Hurting ears are terrible, they really are." He took a deep breath, absentmindedly touching the outlines of his right ear. When he continued talking his voice sounded slightly distant: "So, flying is not that awesome after all, huh?"

"It's just another form of transportation, that's what I think", Okuyama said. He begun tracing the railing with his index finger. "Flying must be nice if you're a bird. But otherwise it's not really convenient."

"Yes, you might be on to something", Tanaka sighed. The expression of his eyes got focused again. He started looking at the sky again, but this time he wasn't watching the contrails but the huge clouds instead. "Now that you've mentioned it, some of those clouds really look like cotton candy."

"They do, don't they?"

"Yes. But some of them somehow still look more like sheep."

"Well okay, you're not wrong. Some of them do", Okuyama admitted.

Tanaka turned his head, looking at Okuyama and this time he was slightly smiling. "Let's say some of the clouds are cotton candy and some are sheep. The sky is big enough to offer space for both."

Okuyama couldn't deny that. He nodded in agreement, feeling like he was beginning to smile back.

The End