Chapter 33: The Next Step
"Damn it, Clyde," Emily hissed, alarmed when she saw the lone figure in the living room. At least it's day this time. "Why do you keep doing this?"
"It's fun," he teased. "You didn't answer my calls."
"I've been busy today," she told him.
"Yes, well, Darling, I am on my way back to London shortly, so I'm afraid there is no other time to do this."
"You know I love seeing you, Clyde, but seriously, this better be important."
"I believe it is. Please sit. You look tired and I don't wish to catch you if you fall. I'd rather you not damage yourself further."
"Well, thanks so much Clyde," she said, throwing herself down on the couch next to him. "What's going on? What has you lurking?"
"I never lurk."
"No, you just break and enter."
"I had a key."
"What?" She jumped from her relaxed position. "How did you get a key?"
"We're spies, Darling. Must you ask?"
"Guess not. Well, then tell me why you're stealing keys and showing up here."
"We have to discuss London."
"I should have known this was coming." Emily sighed. "Tell me."
"You've been gone for months, Love. I know you're taking medical leave and I've extended it as long as I could, but the team needs a leader. I've stepped in as a temporary liaison, but a lot of questions have been asked amongst your team and I have a job of my own to attend to."
"You've been called away?"
He nodded. "I'm aiding a taskforce. That's all I can say."
"Ok… So what do you need from me?"
"An honest answer," he said, meeting her eyes and putting his hand on her good knee. "I know you've gone through so much and your life has drastically changed, but the question remains. Do you believe you'll be coming back?"
"I…" She didn't know. She honestly didn't know.
"I feared that would be the answer."
"Clyde, I didn't give an answer."
"And that is the answer. Is it not?"
"I don't know, Clyde."
"Well, here is what I have to offer. Should you decide to come back, they would like you there as soon as possible."
"I'm not field ready."
"No, but you can man a team and give orders. Which is why there is some pressure here…"
"I can't just say yes, Clyde. You know that."
"I do. Look, you have until you get official clearance for desk duty to decide, but after that, you have a choice to make, and I don't see you not getting clearance soon if not already."
He wasn't wrong. At her last appointment, she was told she would be able to take the brace off and start light jogging again. She would need a new, smaller, and more specialized brace for exercising, but she would be able to drive and walk normally. She had clearance, basically. Definitely had it for desk duty.
"Tell me you'll think about returning and we can end this discussion. I don't expect a yes now, or any answer at all, just a promise that you'll consider your options."
"I promise, Clyde. It's time I start figuring some things out."
"Good. Now that that's out of the way, may I treat you to a late lunch before the young Mr. Prentiss –"
"Hadley," Emily corrected.
"Ok, young Mr. Prentiss-Hadley returns from school."
"I'd like that."
Clyde stood and held out a hand for her to take, pulling her up from the couch. He took her to a nice restaurant they used to frequent back in the day when they were both in the DC area. Emily appreciated the sentiment, and he was good company. It was nice to have an adult conversation that wasn't about what happened either in the recent or far past.
Instead, he caught her up on the happenings in London, about the word around the office and the many well wishes that he was asked to pass along from her colleagues.
"Everyone misses you."
"I miss them too."
"I will be sure to pass that along as well as your thanks."
"Good doggy," Emily joked. "You're heading back tonight?"
"Yes, in a few hours."
"Back to London?"
"Shortly. For a day or two before I move along."
"You're a true wanderer, Clyde."
"We both used to be." Though maybe not so much anymore. "I've been spending more and more time in one place. It's a new, but enjoyable experience."
"I've learned that," she responded. "Setting roots."
"I wouldn't go that far, but I haven't hated it."
"That's a start. And London is a wonderful city."
"I'm inclined to agree. Now, we have eaten, and I believe we have a little more time before you need to pick up your son."
"Clyde," she said. She didn't want them to start calling him her son so openly for two main reasons: one, Nate had no idea and she didn't want him learning that because her friends wanted to play with her, and two, she didn't want it to stick. She didn't want to start referring to him as her son at every occasion and then lose him when James eventually recovered and took him back. While she was insistent, now, that she would never be removed from his life completely, she didn't want to call herself his mom just to be relegated to a lesser role.
"I apologize. To the point, you have a little time. Would you like to go for a stroll?"
"I'd like that."
He took her to a spot nearby that wouldn't give her knee too much trouble. They spent a half hour casually walking the garden path. It was like old times, Clyde telling Emily about his latest dating disaster. Usually, it was her who had the bad dates and he who charmed the pants off everyone, so it was nice to see the shoe on the other foot for once.
"Are you ever going to settle down?" Emily asked him.
"Are you?" He countered.
"Never know."
"Same for me, Darling."
"We should get going."
He put his arm out for her to take and escorted her to the car. The driver dropped Clyde off at his hotel, Emily giving him a big hug.
"We'll talk soon," he said.
"I'll call you, and I'll think about what we discussed."
"I'm looking forward to it already. Don't worry about anything. You're free to live your life." He kissed her cheek and opened the car door up for her again. "Goodbye."
His words not completely making sense, she said, "Bye. Travel safe."
The driver took off once Clyde was behind hotel doors, taking Emily to Nate's school. Thankfully, Nate had no afterschool activities on Mondays, so they were able to go straight home.
"How was school?" Emily asked once they drove off.
"Good."
"Got homework?"
"Not too much. A little. I need to do a book report."
"Do you have a book picked out?"
"Not yet. It's library day at school tomorrow, so we have to pick one then and Miss Vera has to approve."
"I'm sure you'll find a great book."
"Yeah."
"Your dad loved the gift you gave him. Did you take the pictures that were in your room?"
He nodded. "That's ok, right?"
"It's more than ok. We can get new frames and print new pictures for you if you want."
"Cool. I just wanted Dad to have something to remind him of us."
"I think that's very sweet of you, Nate. I helped him hang your drawings and he put the photos right by his bed."
"Does he like it there?"
"I think he's going to need some time getting used to it, but he's comfortable and being well-taken care of."
"We'll visit him soon?"
"He needs a little time to focus on his rehab. The doctors said we should wait a little while so he can adjust to being away before we visit."
Nate's head bowed. "He doesn't want us to come, does he?"
"Not right now," Emily admitted, her voice as pained as Nate looked. "But he will, Nate."
"You don't know that," he stated.
"I think I do, Nate, because I know how much he loves you and how sad he is to be away, but I also know that he feels bad for all he put us through, so he wants to get better before we see him again. We can still talk to him."
"It's not the same," he wanted to say, but held his tongue, opting, instead, to just shrug.
"Hey, in the meantime, you have me and a huge group of family that love you just as much as I do."
"Yeah," he said and smiled. He did like that Emily's friends were like family and treated him just the same.
Emily managed to swing the conversation in a different direction, mentioning plans for the evening and what the rest of the week had in store for them. Emily was going to be returning to her physical therapy and trying to push forward in her recovery but was going to try and plan the appointments during the day while he was at school or during his activities.
Nate was very chill about everything, including his father's leave. Emily didn't know if that was a good thing or not, but she was going with the flow and would react accordingly if she saw red flags. She wasn't too worried because she had come to know Nate's way of dealing with things, but she wanted to keep an eye on him anyways.
Over the next few days, he was a little quieter than she was used to, like he was giving her the cold shoulder but nicer. He wasn't mean, he didn't act out, and he was still clingy, but he was in a constant state of thought. There was nothing wrong with how he was acting, but there was something on his mind. She assumed it had to do with James, so she gave him the updates she got from the doctors and got Nate his own phone so he could text or call his father as well as have it in case of emergency.
That seemed to help a little, but he was still glued to her side and always thinking. She tried to ask about it, but he said there was nothing going on, just thinking about his schoolwork. She wanted to believe him, but it seemed like more. She put off making it a bigger deal because he needed time to deal, there were other things they needed to discuss, and she had things on her mind too.
Toward the end of the week, after spending days trying to think of their options, Emily knew it was time to approach Nate about their living situation. There were some things she needed to consider, and she wanted to hear his thoughts on them all.
"Nate, come and talk to me."
"Alright," he said, putting his book down.
"I thought about what you asked, you know, about staying in this house, and I have a few options. I'd like to hear your thoughts."
"What are the options?"
"We can stay in this house if you are more comfortable here, but then, during winter break, you'll have to switch to this school district."
He seemed weary with that option and asked for the others. "What else?"
"If you'd like to stay in your school, we can try to find an apartment in that district. I don't know what's available, so it might take some time."
"I like that better. Can't we just stay with Hotch and Jack again?"
"We can't just invite ourselves to move into someone else's home, Nate."
"They're not someone else, they're Hotch and Jack. They didn't want us to leave in the first place."
"I think we should let them have their own space."
"But they liked having us there and we liked it too."
"Maybe so, but we can't make a decision based on what might be. We must think about the options we have. Right now, there are two. We can stay here, and you can switch to a school that's closer, or we can try to find something closer to your school."
He scrunched up his nose and wiggled his lips as he pondered things. He didn't really want to switch schools, and he wasn't sure he wanted to stay in the house, though he did wonder how that would make his dad feel. He wished they could stay with Hotch and Jack. He loved his fathers, that had nothing to do with what he was feeling, but with Hotch, Jack, and Emily in that apartment, it was the first time he felt settled. Even though it was a temporary home, he felt secure there.
Over the years, he loved moving around with his fathers because it was fun and adventurous, or they made it seem that way, but once he realized it was because they were running, he had a new perspective on it. It wasn't until staying with Emily, more so when they were with Hotch and Jack, that he felt completely still, in the best way. Of course, he wanted both his fathers there too, but he couldn't help the way he felt.
"You can take some time to think about it, alright?" Emily squeezed his shoulder. "We'll talk about it more after I do some research."
"Research on what?"
"Houses and apartments." London…
Perceptive as he was, he had questions about London too. "Emily, you don't have an accent, but you lived in London, right?"
"Yes. I worked – work – there."
"With Interpol."
"Exactly."
"Do you," he cleared his throat, "Do you have to go back there?"
"I… I don't know yet, Nate. My job is there, but I have a little time to decide, and whatever I chose, I'll make sure I do it with you in mind."
He nodded. "Do you want to go back?"
"I don't know. Don't worry about it right now. We both have some thinking to do about what we want to happen."
"Can I ask one more question?"
"Go ahead."
"Do you miss London?"
"Sometimes. I used to live all over the world, Nate. I lived wherever my mother was posted. When the chance came to move to London, I was hesitant because I knew I would be leaving behind people that I loved, but I was also excited to start over there."
"Start over?"
She couldn't explain to him that she was a bad guy magnet and had been hunted down and nearly killed a time or two, so she chose to respond, "I wanted a clean slate and I got one in London. I loved it there, though I missed everyone here."
"So, you kind of want to go back," he said.
"Maybe. I don't know. Which is why I'm going to think about it in the same way you need to think about what you want. For now, go finish up that book. Dinner will be ready in an hour."
"Ok."
They managed a quiet evening. Emily took the time to work on a few of her home exercises which included using the stairs more when she could. Nate sometimes walked behind her cautiously, hoping that he was strong enough to catch her if she fell. He was a worrier, something he inherited from all three of his parents.
"You really don't have to follow me up and down, Nate."
Stubbornly and very protectively, arms crossed over his chest, he said, "Yes, I do."
"Would it make you feel better if I stopped?"
He nodded.
"Alright. Get back to whatever you were up to. I'm going to make a call."
Emily eyed him as he went down the stairs just as he eyed her as he waited for her to do the same. He couldn't help it. He may have had a whole slew of emotions, some conflicting, where Emily was concerned, but he didn't want anything to happen to her. So, he watched and made sure she was careful or that he could, at least, help if something did happen.
"I'm sitting," Emily made a point of announcing as she took a seat at the table.
"Good girl," Nate yelled back.
Emily just rolled her eyes and pulled out her phone to call Hotch. She had been meaning to since the party but hadn't found the time. Either she was busy, or he was. They sent messages here and there, but nothing directly related to whatever he wanted to talk about. She missed having him in the room next door to bother with her mindless thoughts.
"Hey Hotch."
"Emily. How are you?"
"Good. I'm sorry I haven't called sooner, but you said you wanted to talk. You free now?"
"Actually, I was just about to call. I was hoping you'd do me a favor."
"Oh… What?"
"Well, I just got called for a case. There have been a series of abductions in Utah. The jet is being fueled but we leave in a couple of hours. Jessica can't take Jack. Do you think you can watch him? I know you have a lot on your plate right now, but if you want, you and Nate can stay at the apartment so you're closer to school and don't have to drive them…" he rambled on.
Emily stopped him, "You don't have to convince me, Hotch. I'd love to watch Jack and I think Nate would like it too. I can pack us each a bag and call the driver. I think we can be there in a half hour maybe."
"Great. Thank you."
"This isn't what you wanted to talk about, though."
"No. I'd rather tell you in person. It's nothing to worry about. I just rather be face to face."
"Oh… Uh, ok? I guess we'll talk before you go. I should get Nate ready."
"Ok. And thanks."
"No problem," she said, hanging up and immediately calling for Nate.
"Are you hurt?" The boy ran in wild eyed and frantically looking for a problem.
"I'm fine," she told him. "You need to stop worrying. You're too young for gray hair."
He touched the top of his head with wrinkled eyes. "I'm not worrying," he insisted. "I was just checking."
"Sure," she said. "Hotch has to go away on a case and wants me to watch Jack, so we're going to go stay at the apartment with Jack until he comes back. Are you ok with that?"
He enthusiastically nodded.
"Good. Pack everything you need for school and enough clothes for a few days."
"Right now?"
"Right now," she said. "Hotch has to leave in a few hours."
"I'm on it."
Emily and Nate waited for the driver outside after she checked to make sure they had everything and locked up the house. When the driver showed, they put their things in the trunk and made their way to Hotch's. On the way, Emily informed the driver of their temporary change of address.
"We're here," the man told them as he pulled up to the apartment building. "Would you like help carrying things up?"
"I got it," Nate said.
Emily held a laugh. "We can handle it. Thank you."
He reminded Emily to call if she needed anything and made sure they were in the building before leaving. Hotch was at the door waiting for them and helped with the bags.
"Hey. Thanks for coming. Nate, Jack is in his room waiting for you and I think he has some snacks if you want to go see him."
"Alright." He didn't even give it a second thought, just scampered off.
"Trying to get rid of him?" Emily asked as she was ushered into the living room.
"No. But I did want to talk to you alone and we don't have a lot of time before I leave."
"What's this about?" She had been anxious wondering. "Did something happen?"
"We've been trying to control when it hit the news and it hasn't yet, but I wanted you to hear it from me first."
"I thought you said this wasn't bad news. It sounds like bad news."
"Bardolino is dead," he quickly spat out.
"What? When?"
"Last Saturday. I heard that evening, and I was going to tell you before the party, but…"
"But you walked in on me… like that," she said, cheeks flushed pink.
"Don't be embarrassed. I just thought you had enough on your plate that day and still, I thought it would be best in person."
"Yeah… I'm surprised Clyde didn't tell me."
"I asked him to let me do it."
Emily nodded.
"What happened?"
"Exsanguination."
"He was stabbed?"
"Something like that. I'll leave the files and you can look at them if you want to. It's being investigated as a homicide. Clearly, someone was afraid he'd talk, and they saw him as a liability. I guess it doesn't matter. I just thought knowing would relieve some of your stress. No testifying. No worrying that he could still come after Nate."
"It's… It's a load off. Thank you for telling me."
"I wish I had more time to talk about, and I'm sorry I don't, but if you look at the files and want to talk when I get back, I can go over everything I know with you."
"Sounds good."
She was a little stunned. It wasn't that she was unhappy he died. Bardolino was an unforgivable man who did a lot of bad things and she would never want him around, but she wanted him to pay. She wanted him to be convicted and spend his life rotting behind bars. It felt like he got off easy. He didn't have to face any of his substantial, and still growing, list of crimes.
"Are you ok?"
"Yeah… Just surprised, I guess."
"You wanted him to pay for what he did."
"Not just to us but pay for everything. No one gets justice."
"I know. But we're hoping his death will give more clues to who else is involved."
"I'll see if I find anything when I look through the file. Maybe something from Interpol will pop out at me."
"I can only hope. Anyway, the team is waiting for me. Call me if you need anything or for whatever."
"Go. Jack's in good hands."
"I know. Thanks."
He quickly said goodbye to the boys and left. He needed to be at the jet quickly. That left Emily with the boys, and she kind of liked it. She felt more comfortable there than she ever had in the house, and she missed being around Jack so much. She didn't bother to look at the file that night. She just wanted to take it all in and enjoy being with the boys. It wasn't unexpected to end up in her old room watching movies with them huddled with her until they all fell asleep. Thankfully, she set an alarm on her phone or they would have slept the day away.
Hotch called after school to talk with Jack. It looked like they'd be there at least one more day, he said, and made his son promise to be good.
"It's Jack, Hotch," Emily said. "His bad is most people's good."
"That's what I like to hear."
"Honestly, I don't know how we got so lucky. I swear," she lowered her voice, "If I raised Nate, he'd probably be a little fire-starter."
"I highly doubt that."
"Isn't that what they say? Your kids are worse than you as payback for your parents."
"Maybe we're the exception because no way was I more well behaved than Jack."
"I guess we got some good ones."
"No arguments here."
"Focus on the case. If you can, call tomorrow if you're not going to be back, just to let us know."
"I will."
Hotch was gone until Sunday morning. In that time, Emily enjoyed herself. Being around Jack kept Nate from being all over her. She almost missed the clinginess, though it was nice to walk around without him watching where and what she was doing. It was great to see him so carefree again, something, she noticed, he hadn't really been while they lived with James. Such a difference.
She tried calling James, but he wasn't ready to talk. Nate hadn't asked about him, which she supposed was ok. She still talked to him about updates she got. There wasn't much to report yet other than he was getting the help he needed.
While the kids played or did their schoolwork, Emily poured over the file. The gruesome way Bardolino died, a clean cut through the carotid, made her feel like he paid a little. Not like she wanted, but he still paid a price. Perhaps the manner of death could prove helpful. She was looking into it and was still doing that when Hotch returned.
The boys were asleep as she cooked breakfast. Hotch arrived just in time to wake them so they could all eat together. It was like old times, all of them around the table talking while they munched on whatever meal was in front of them. It was comfortable and light, and as much as Emily and Nate wanted to stay, they were out of clothes and wanted to give the Hotchners some time to themselves.
"You know, you can stay if you want. With James gone, you're welcome to stay here. I know I said it before, but it would be easier for you with his school and everything."
"I'll think about it. For now, we should go. Can I take the files with me?"
"Sure. Just let me know if you find something."
"I will."
After saying goodbye to Jack, she and Nate went to the house. Emily, after some debate, told Nate that the man who had hurt them and caused so much hurt for them, was dead. He seemed relieved, like the nightmare was finally ending. Emily wasn't sure it was completely over, but they were on the mend, and Nate told her that he made his choice about their living arrangement. He wanted to live there again. There being with Hotch and Jack. While she wasn't opposed to that, she didn't want that as a long-term solution, so they were still deciding.
"I'll think on it," she told Nate.
Until then, there was one other big decision Emily needed to make, but the answer wasn't coming to her. All she ended up doing was purchasing some tickets that would force her to choose one way or the other, but there was time before that happened. First, they had to figure out their new normal again. And even before that, they just wanted a quiet Sunday afternoon.
Back at the Hotchner household, that was what they wanted too. They spent the rest of the day making sure Jack had everything ready for school and talking about his upcoming field trip. He was very excited about it. But something Nate said to him had him thinking back to a conversation he had with Emily and wondering what was going on.
"Dad," Jack stopped his father. "Can I ask you something?"
"You know you can always ask me anything. What's on your mind?"
"Nate said that Emily was his mom, and a while ago, I asked Emily about Nate's mom… Is she? Like really his mom or does he just think she is because he loves her?"
Curious, and maybe a little worried, Hotch took a seat next to him. "What exactly did he say, Jack?"
He needed Jack to give all the details because he was sure that he'd be reporting back to Emily about this.