Date: October 31, 2019

Location: Toad Town, MK

…

We interrupt your regular programming. This is a global emergency. Important instructions will follow.

[EAS tones, sirens]

NATIONAL ALERT

A Primary Entry Point System Issued An

EMERGENCY ACTION NOTIFICATION

The following message is being transmitted at the request of the Royal Mushroom Government. This is not a test. Repeating, this is not a test.

Luigi's valiant attempt to defeat King Boo and rescue everyone has failed, and he was slain following an intense, protracted battle atop the roof of the Last Resort. As a result, the giant portrait frame has consumed most of the building, and the rest of the planet is expected to follow within the next hour. There is nothing that humanity can do to stop this. Therefore, everyone listening to this broadcast should take the following actions:

Gather with friends, loved ones and pets, and brace for the end. Do an activity that makes you feel comfortable. If you belong to a particular religious sect, pray to your higher being or beings and repent. Do not tell young children about this cataclysmic event. There is no place to evacuate or take shelter from the enlarged portrait frame. There is no reason to stay calm. Go into panic mode, if you so desire.

A Bible verse has been selected to be read on the air. Revelation 21:4—"And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away."

Your government thanks you for your cooperation during this emergency, but Planet Earth is now doomed. This station will permanently sign off following one last playing of our national anthem. Please, stand by as we conclude the final activation of the Emergency Alert System. May God help us all.

[EAS tones]

…

[The MK's national anthem is the original Super Mario Bros end theme. Close to one hour after the station signs off for the last time, the enlarged portrait frame completes its descent, sealing every living and breathing organism in a canvas prison for all eternity. King Boo has finally taken his long-denied revenge.]

Good Night!

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