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It was almost four in the morning, but Bucky hadn't slept at all. Looking over at it, he was dreading the moment when the alarm would go off. It was his last full day at camp. Tomorrow he would be graduating from basic training and heading back to Brooklyn. He would be leaving.
He looked down at the sleeping girl on his chest and had his arm around. He would be leaving her. He took note of how peaceful she looked while she slept. He wasn't sure how she could look so perfect asleep, but she did. Gently, he started to run his fingers through her hair, but lightly to not wake her. He had spent another night in her bed as he had the past few nights. In such a short time, he had grown accustomed to sleeping next to her. He wasn't sure how he would be able to handle being in Brooklyn sleeping by himself now. He wished time would stop and he didn't have to get up. He could have stayed like this forever if he was able.
Still, he couldn't have asked for a better last week. He looked at the clock once more. He had about five minutes before the ringing alerting him to return to his quarters before everyone would be up. He grabbed the clock and turned the alarm off, thinking that he might as well just leave and attempt to get an hour of sleep before the damn trumpet would blow.
As carefully as he could, he lifted his arm away from Béatrice's sleeping form and moved her off of his chest, directly onto the mattress. She didn't stir at all. Getting up off the bed, he gathered his things before he turned to look at her one last time. His lips formed into a small smile and he leaned down to kiss her cheek.
"See you later beautiful" he whispered against her skin. He then made his way to the door, leaving her quarters for another night without a sound.
As he made his way back to his quarters, his mind started racing. What could he do to make their last night special together? He wasn't sure if or when they would see one another again. He wanted to do something that he hadn't before.
"I'm assuming you're sneaking back to your quarters?" he suddenly heard a voice say. He jumped and quickly turned around. Behind him stood, Captain McPherson with a smug look on his face.
"Captain..I…I" Bucky began to stutter.
McPherson rolled his eyes at him. "You honestly don't think I know? She tells me everything, you know. I know about your little….sleepovers" he said as his eyes narrowed at Bucky.
"We just talk and sleep…" Bucky began to explain.
"I know" the Captain smirked. "She tells me everything. So, are you two lovebirds dreading your last day together?"
Bucky's eyebrows furrowed slightly. "If she tells you everything, shouldn't you already know the answer to that?"
McPherson nodded. "I do, but I know how she feels. How do you feel Barnes?"
Bucky stared at the Captain silently for a moment before taking a deep breath. "I feel like I'm about to lose one of the best things that's happened to me." McPherson raised an eyebrow and it almost looked as though he was trying to hide a smile that wanted to form on his face.
"Can you promise me something?" Bucky blurted out staring directly at the Captain. "Can you promise me you'll look after her? Make sure she's kept safe and no harm comes to her."
This time McPherson let that smile form. "I always do" he told the soldier, nodding. He took a moment to pause. "So, do you two have anything special planned for your last night together?"
"I have absolutely no idea" Bucky sighed running his hands through his hair. He felt himself starting to freak out. "I want to make it special, but I just don't know how."
"Well under normal circumstances, typically a couple would sleep with one another, but considering sex is off the table for obvious reasons…." McPherson's voice trailed off as Bucky made a face of disgust. "Oh, come on, like you haven't thought about it" the blonde groaned at him.
"No..I mean…yes….no….okay yes….a lot. Not that it's any of your concern" Bucky mumbled quickly. "Isn't talking about your best friend's personal business overstepping things much?"
"We have a very close and open friendship" McPherson shot him a full toothed grin. "Again, she tells me everything. I'm her closest confidant, well until you came along that is." The Captain paused once more. "Okay, what's your favorite moment you've had together then?"
Bucky kept silent for a moment as he thought. There were many moments that stuck out to him. However, there was one that caused a small smile on his face. "Probably the moment she invited me into her quarters to have tea for the first time after I walked her home. It was the first night she opened up to me. I got her name and she told me about herself. She was so forward and honest with me. No one had ever been like that around me before."
McPherson eyed the young recruit closely, his eyes narrowing. "Well I would say there's your answer then."
"Yes, I suppose so" Bucky looked over at him still smiling, but soon fell. "But I'm going to need your help."
"Oh, come on Béatrice" Alexander ran after her through the camp. "It's been ages since we had a drink together. We can talk strategy. Complain. Whatever you want. Just come back to my quarters with me."
The brunette continued to walk and shot a look at her friend. "You're acting strange right now. Well… stranger."
The blonde's mouth hung open slightly. "Is it strange that I want to spend time with my best friend?"
Béatrice stopped dead in her tracks and looked at him closely. Something was up. Alexander knew how much she had been fretting about her last day with Bucky and then out of the blue, he wanted her to come to his quarters when she announced she had more packing she needed to finish. "What are you hiding?" she asked.
"Me?" the blonde put his hand on his chest, pretending to be hurt by her accusation. "Hiding something? Why I would never…."
"Alexander you've always been a terrible liar" she interjected. "Why can't I go back to my quarters?"
He took a moment to respond causing her to roll her eyes. "I never said you couldn't go back to your quarters, but why would you want to" he quickly told her.
She wasn't buying it. Not at all. She crossed her arms and her lips twitched to the side. She took a deep breath. "Alexander, you know I love you and I'm sorry to do this."
Alexander frowned at her in confusion. Before he could even respond, he felt a kick to the knees, grabbed, and thrown to the ground. He looked up and saw Béatrice smirk at him before quickly running off. He groaned loudly and slowly tried to get up. "Jesus H. Christ" he exclaimed in pain.
Bucky placed the teapot on Béatrice's table, making the finishing touches on his surprise for her. He looked over at the clock. He suspected she would be there in due time. When he had asked McPherson to help stall her, the two men knew that it would only be a matter of time before she figured something was up. She was very observant and stubborn. Two qualities that Bucky liked so much about her.
As he began to fix some of the place settings, the door to her quarters opened and soon enough the woman he had been anxiously awaiting appeared. Closing the door, she looked over and saw him. Stopping dead in her tracks, look of confusion appeared on her face. "Bucky?" she spoke tilting her head slightly. "What's going on?"
Before he could even begin to explain himself, Alexander came crashing through the front door. He held onto the doorknob, breathing heavily and looking directly at Bucky. "I tried" he exclaimed completely breathless. "But…but she's stubborn and attacked me. I'm going to have words with Peggy when we see her again. She's going to regret teaching you to fight!" He took another few deep breaths. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go find some ice." He then slowly closed the two and the two could hear him mumbling about 'bloody Germans' and still about Peggy.
Bucky wondered for a moment who this Peggy was, but before he could as Béatrice turned her attention back to him. "So, are you going to tell me what this is all about?" she asked as she walked closer to him looking at everything on the table.
"I wanted to make our last day together special" he shrugged slightly. "When I left this morning, I ran into McPherson. I told him I wanted to do something, but didn't know what. So, he asked what my favorite moment of us together was."
"And all the times I made you tea came to mind?" she raised an eyebrow at him.
Bucky chuckled and walked over to her, taking both of his hands in his. "It was the night I walked you home from the bar and you invited me in here for tea. We talked. I finally got your name out of you" he smiled placing his forehead against her own. "You told me about yourself. Why you were fighting against the Nazi's. I told you about myself. I asked to see you again. It was the night that started it all. It was the night when I realized how special you were and how different you were. I know I've said it before, but you're not like any woman I've ever met."
Hearing her breath hitch, he pulled away and saw a few stray tears running down her face. His face fell as he cupped her face. "Is…is this not okay?"
"No, no" she shook her head, taking his hands that still were placed on his face. "It's perfect. It's the most perfect thing anyone has ever done for me. I just don't want tomorrow to come. I don't want to leave you."
He brushed a few tears away with his thumbs. "I don't either baby doll. Believe me, I've never wanted anything more" he whispered.
She gripped his hands tighter. "These past few weeks have been some of the best of my whole life. For the first time in a while, you helped me forget all the bad that was happening. You gave me a piece of mind for a time. I haven't been happy for a while. I've been losing hope with everything, but you restored it" she told him. "I've never had someone in my life like you. You looked past everything I've done, the fact that I'm a German. No one in the past year ever made me feel normal. Thank you, Bucky. For everything."
Bucky's face grew into a smile. "It was a pleasure sweetheart. There's nowhere I would have rather have been these past few weeks. Thanks for taking a chance on a ladies' man from Brooklyn. Hope I didn't disappoint."
"Well you did have that one moment when you found out about what I did" she let out a small laugh.
He let out a loud groan and moved his hands to her waist. "I was an idiot. A complete and utter idiot. I even wrote it down how stupid I was."
"But you were a complete and utter idiot who set it right" she smiled before giving him a kiss on his cheek. His face softened as she pulled away and he stared into her eyes.
"God, I want to kiss you right now" he sighed heavily.
She wrapped her arms around his neck. "I want you to kiss me, but I'm scared if you do, we won't be able to stop and it's only going to make things worse" she said meekly.
He licked his lips and nodded. She was right. If they gave into their desires, chances are they'd end up spending the entire night kissing or in bed together. Either way it would make it so much harder in the morning when they both had to leave. "I know sweetheart." He pulled her into a tight hug and sighed. Stupid timing, he thought to himself. It had to ruin everything.
"Bucky you can't put your life on hold for me" he heard her mutter.
He held her closer at that and he felt his chest hurt. "I know" he said shakily. He would though if she asked. Hell, there was a chance that he'd go against her wishes.
"Promise me Bucky" she spoke again. "Promise you won't forget me, but you'll keep living your life."
He pulled away from her and looked down at her. "I couldn't forget you even if I tried baby doll. I promise I'll keep living my life. I'll do it for you." He wiped away a few more stray tears from her eyes. "Promise me something. No tears tomorrow. Pretty dame like you shouldn't be crying."
"I promise" she nodded her heard. She then looked over at the untouched tea on the table. "We'd better drink it before it gets cold." He gave her a small smile and nodded. He took her hand and led her to the table to sit down.
As Béatrice watched him serve her and herself, her heart sank further and further. She knew today would be hard, but it was turning out to be harder than what she ever imagined. She didn't want to lose Bucky at all. There had to be a way. Just because they couldn't pursue a relationship, didn't mean they couldn't still be friends?
Something then dawned on her that she never thought about before. She kept her exclaim to herself not to cause Bucky to wonder what had happened. She was now the complete and utter idiot for not having thought of it earlier. It made perfect sense. If she wanted to keep Bucky in her life, it was the only logical way. She had been thinking too much with her heart and not her head. She was even surprised that Alexander never mentioned the idea to her either. As she took the tea cup that Bucky handed her, she smiled happily. She was going to keep Bucky Barnes in her life. She had figured it out.
Alexander and Béatrice watched as Colonel Matthews stood in front of the newly graduated troops. The ceremony had gone by quickly probably due to the fact that it had just started to snow and many wanted to get home before a chance of a storm him. She had seen Bucky in the crowd and her heart beamed. She was incredibly proud of him. Even more so when Alexander had told her that he was graduating at the top of his class and chances were when he got orders, he'd be promoted. He had been working so hard and still made time for her. He deserved it all.
"Gentlemen" Matthews began. "Today is a great day for you and an even greater day for this country. You have made the brave decision and sacrifice to be part of the greatest military in history. I will admit, I have been in uniform for over twenty-years. I'll be honest with you all. At times, the job is hard. So difficult that you'll want to give up. I have had many of those moments myself. However, with perseverance, you will come out on top. The same goes for when you are finally sent over. We're in the middle of a war gentlemen. A war with a great evil. It's going to take great strength to win, but I know from supervising your training that we have that strength. We will win this war. We will beat Adolf Hitler and it will all be because of you. It's been a great honor and privilege being your commanding officer. I wish you all the best with where your orders will lead you. Have strength. Have courage. We can end wars for once and for all!"
Matthews gave the crowd a nod and the recruits began to scream and yell for the fact that they were finally over with training.
Alexander and Béatrice looked at one another. "They really have no clue what they're about to head into, do they?" she asked.
"They don't" the blonde shook his head. "They'll find out very soon though."
After the graduation ceremony, the other recruits were busy getting their belongings together in their respective quarters. Bucky on the other hand stood looking around the camp for someone specific. Béatrice had told him specifically that she would find him after the ceremony and before she had to leave. He had yet to see her and the longer he stood waiting, the more nervous he became. What if she had to leave before she could have said goodbye.
"Congratulations Private Barnes."
He jumped and turned around at the sound of the voice. His face turned to a wide smile as he saw who was behind him. Béatrice. She had changed into normal clothes. He took a moment to admire how beautiful she looked and how much he would miss seeing her. "Top of my class and everything" he told her proudly.
"And that's surprising?" she raised an eyebrow at him.
"Well a little" he smirked shrugging. "I did have a bit of a distraction though the last few weeks, but it was a beautiful distraction. Wouldn't have it any other way."
She let out a laugh as her face slowly changed to pink. She licked her lips as she looked at him. She was going to miss him. So much.
She watched as Bucky shifted and kicked his feet into the ground. "So, this is it huh?" he asked looking up at her.
"It is" she nodded in response.
He walked closer to her closing the gap between them. "Do you know where you're headed?"
She let out a breath. "D.C. for a few days. After that I'm not sure. They probably won't tell me anything until the day I'm supposed to leave. That's how it usually works."
He looked down at the ground and back up at her, debating whether or not he was about to utter the words he had in his head. "I wish you could come to Brooklyn" he heard himself blurt out.
Her face fell and she crossed her arms. "So do I" she gave him a sad smile. "More than anything." She pressed her lips together and took a deep breath. She reached into the pocket of her jacket and pulled out an envelope, handing it to Bucky. He frowned confused at it. It was a simple envelope with his name on it.
"Write to me" she told him.
Bucky looked up wide-eyed at her. "Really?" he breathed only to get a quick nod from her. "But how am I supposed to get letters to you?"
"I put the address in there" she explained. "No matter where I am, it'll get forwarded to me. It might take a little longer for stuff to get over here when I'm back in Europe and I could be gone for weeks with missions, but…."
"I don't care" he interjected smiling wide. "Just as long as I get something from you"
Her lips formed into a smile that was just about as wide as his own. She then put her arms around his neck and his arms snaked around her waist. "I want to hear about everything. How your day was, what you did, how Steve is, dates you go on…."
Dates. He felt his heart sink just at the mention of the word. Béatrice continued to go on and on about what she wanted him to write her about, but he didn't hear a thing. All he heard was that she wanted to her about his dates. Dates with other women. He didn't want to go on any dates with any girl in Brooklyn. Not anymore. He had promised her that he would keep living his life, but he wanted to break that promise more than anything. He only had eyes for one person and she was standing right in front of him.
She noticed the change in his demeanor. He almost looked as though he had gone somewhere else. "Bucky" she asked nudging him causing his eyes to snap back to her own. "Did you even hear a word I said?" she asked with a playful smirk.
"I heard everything doll" he pulled her closer smiling. "I'll be sure to tell you everything." He wrapped his arms tighter around her pulling her into a hug. He shut his eyes and took a breath, taking in her lavender scent and just the fact that she was in his arms one last time. "Stay safe for me. Please for the love of God, be careful. I can't lose you sweetheart" he whispered into her ear. He then kissed the side of her face and let his lips linger on her skin.
"Same for you" he heard her say shakily. "Be careful. The moment you get your orders, let me know where you're going." She then pulled slightly away from him to look him in the eyes. "Maybe we'll…."
"We'll see each other again?" he gave her a small smile. "I'm counting on it." He then noticed that her eyes were becoming glassy. She was trying not to cry. He pulled further away from her and cupped her face between his two hands. "No tears beautiful."
"No tears" she breathed trying to blink away the tears as best as she could.
"Listen to me sweetheart" Bucky told her gently. "I promise you we will see each other again. No matter where you are, I will always find you. No matter what, I'll find you."
With that Béatrice leaned forward and gave him a kiss on the cheek that was dangerously close to his lips. Bucky shut his eyes, wishing that she would only move her lips a few inches so he could give her the goodbye he wanted to. Her lips stayed on his skin for what felt like an eternity, but soon she pulled away. "I'm counting on it" she breathed as she did so.
The pair heard a car suddenly beep and turned to see Alexander standing in front of a car, clearly waiting for her. The moment they both were dreading had come.
"Goodbye Béatrice Faust" Bucky told her giving her one last hug. He moved his head, so he could reach her forehead and give her one last kiss. He then rested his own forehead against her own.
"Goodbye James Barnes. For now" she smirked at him before pulling away from his grasp. She then turned and began to walk toward Alexander. As she did so, a sinking feeling erupted in her chest. She wasn't completely sure, but she could feel her heartbreaking.
If only she knew that in that exact same moment, Bucky Barnes heart had the same pain in his own chest. The farther she walked away from him, the more it hurt.
Alexander watched as his best friend walked back towards him, the car, and away from the soldier. Barnes looked completely flattened as she was walking away and Béatrice nearly had the same expression on her face. In a way it was heartbreaking. He had started rooted for the two of them, keeping the thoughts to himself in order to spare the lectures of "I told you so" from Béatrice. He understood where she was coming from. She didn't want the distractions. She had to focus on her mission. That was her priority right now. She cared about Barnes, but right now timing was not on their side.
"You alright?" he asked as she finally reached himself and the car. He opened the car door for her.
Béatrice stopped and turned around one last time to look at Bucky. From a distance, she could tell that he was staring at her. He gave a small smile and motioned for her to go. "Yes. Let's go before I'm not" she said as she turned her attention back to Alexander. She then got into the car and slid to the end.
The blonde turned one last time and looked around the camp. He was happy to be getting out of the hell hole. His eyes flicked to where Barnes was still standing. He nodded his head at the young soldier before getting into the car himself. In a way, he knew that Barnes would understand what he was saying. An acknowledgement of the promise he had made to him earlier that day to protect Béatrice at no matter the cost. The driver in the front started the car and the two were off back to D.C.
As the car drove farther and farther away from the camp, the Captain took a deep breath. He and his friend sat in complete silence. It was unlike them, but he knew in that moment she needed a few moments to collect herself. He owed her that.
"I got a message from Phillips" Alexander spoke looking over at her after a few more moments of silence. She still appeared to be looking out the window, unbeknownst to him, still trying to hold back the tears that wanted desperately to be freed from her eyes.
"He and Peggy will meet us in D.C. day after tomorrow for a meeting. There's also another letter from your father. Phillips figured since we were headed to D.C. he'd hold it till you got there. Heard from Peggy too, things aren't good over there according to her. Who knows what we'll be going back to."
She slowly turned her head to look at him, a stray tear finally falling down her face. "I have a favor to ask" The blonde frowned, but nodded for her to continue. "If anything happens to me, make sure you get a letter to him. Make sure he knows that I was falling in love with him."
To say that he was surprised was a bit of an understatement. Alexander felt his eyes grow wide as his best friend's confession. He had only teased her about falling in love with Barnes, but here she had just spoken that she actually was. He was shocked. He never thought in a million years that he would hear a confession like this before. Béatrice was someone who never even appeared to have an interest in falling in love, having a family, or the white picket fence life. She wasn't like Evelyn and himself. But then again, people could change. Love changed people. His relationship with Evelyn was proof of that. He slowly nodded his head at her. "On one condition" he finally spoke. "You do the same with Evelyn. Make sure she knows how much I loved her."
Béatrice gave him a small smile and place her hand on top of his own, gently squeezing it. "Deal" she told him.
Alexander pursed his lips and took a deep breath, nodding his head once more. "Good. Now that, that's settled, time to get back to work."
Bucky's mind wandered as he sat on a bus back to Brooklyn. It was hard to believe that he was done with basic training. Now all he had to do was wait for his orders and only then would he be able to serve his country. He was proud of how far he had come.
He looked forward to getting back to Brooklyn. Seeing Steve again and telling him of his time during training. The two of them would probably go out with or without dates. He hadn't quite decided if he would try and find some girls as soon as he got back. With that thought, his mind immediately went to a certain German girl. He was already feeling guilty about finding a date when he got back.
"Bucky you can't put your life on hold for me."
Those words kept repeating over and over in his head. Deep down he knew Béatrice was right, but that didn't mean he still wouldn't lose sleep over any date he went on. It didn't feel right to him, but what else was he supposed to do? Hell, he wasn't even sure if he was going to tell Steve about her. If he did, he'd have to tell him everything and he couldn't betray her trust like that. It didn't matter if he trusted Steve more than anyone, he just didn't want to take the chance.
Taking a deep breath, he looked over at the unopened letter that was sitting on his bag. He had yet to open it and in a way he was hesitant in doing so. The moment he opened that letter he knew everything would come rushing back.
Still, he had moments of weakness like everyone. He was human. Reaching over he grabbed it and opened the envelope. Pulling the letter out, there was a small piece of paper folded up with a white rabbit drawn on it. Unfolding it, there was an address in Paris. Béatrice's address. It was probably the one of her "apartment" that she was staying in. He sat down the small piece of paper and pulled out the larger one. The one he knew that the letter would be on. Opening, his eyes began to scan the page.
Dear Bucky,
By the time you're reading this, we'll probably both have left camp. I feel that time moved too quickly these past few weeks. Words really can't describe how much I enjoyed your company and spending time with you. I'm glad you became curious about me and pursued me. You're something special James Barnes. Never forget that.
I'll be heading to D.C. for a few days to be briefed on missions I suspect. They could be sending me anywhere at this point. Anywhere except the one place I truly want to go. I sometimes wonder if I'll ever return to Germany for my family. They're living their life in fear and that is no way to live. I pray that one day they'll be able to experience a better life as I have begun to.
Alexander and I will be staying with Evenlyn while we're there as well. I must admit I'm a little nervous to meet her. Alexander has told me plenty about her and she apparently knows a lot about me, but I guess I'll always feel nervous because of who I am. However, since I met you, I'm reminded that there are people in this world that can look past who I am. I wish there were more people in this world like you. Thank you for seeing more than my German heritage. It's means the world to me.
I'd be lying if I said I was happy to be going to D.C. I wish it was New York. That way we would have had more time together. You did say you would show me around, take me to dinner, and dancing if I recall correctly. I wish we were spending the next few days doing that. I'm going to hold you to that promise. You owe me a date.
It will be strange not to see you every day. It will take some getting used to. I'll think about you often. I'm probably already thinking of you right now as you read this. Hoping that you'll make it safely back to Brooklyn. My life is going to be so different now. However, this is something that I'm going to keep telling myself and I hope it can bring you some comfort as well. If it is meant to be, we'll see each other again. I have faith in that. You haven't seen the last of me Bucky Barnes. I'm sure of that.
I miss you already. Write to me soon.
Béatrice
A large smile formed on Bucky's lips. He re-read the letter over and over again. It was the perfect way to start their correspondence. His eyes flicked back towards the section about how he owed her a date. He damn sure did. One day he'd be taking her on that date if it was the last thing he did. He'd give her the best first date anyone ever could.
Leaning back in his seat, he looked outside the window. His thoughts of Béatrice Faust would not end anytime soon. He was in too deep, but there was no place else he wanted to be. He meant what he told her earlier. No matter what, he'd find her again. He was certain of that.
He reached over to his bag and pulled out a pencil and a piece of paper. They'd probably be stopping soon somewhere where he could by a stamp and an envelope. It was time for him to respond to her.
I know I'm probably going to break a lot of hearts with this, but I will make it up to you I promise! Let me know your thoughts!