Short update but I wanted to tease you with a little more.
Even without Soul's request, it was meant to be the newest gnawing question at the back of her mind. With the other couples there, Flore's boyfriend Kei, Susanna's boyfriend Andre, and Elena's partner Lorelei having arrived during the hangover, it should have been easy to keep it just to the sidelines. It was supposed to be a just before bed, a worried trail of thoughts that kept her up while he snoozed away unknowing but instead it was what filled space every time her mind wasn't fully occupied with the activities. It lined her glass every time she emptied it and whispered when there were no voices to be heard.
During the morning swim as most of the group made waves, Lizzie sat with Maka on the pier, only offering short interruptions to silent stretches of watching the fun. In Maka's head, part of the question was becoming a steady, long comparison between Soul and Spirit, a set of thoughts she'd never even ventured towards but couldn't veer away from. Cheating was her father's cardinal sin and it cut her to the core, the idea that you could claim such absolute love and then allow for wandering eyes.
As she watched Soul now she could see it plain as day, girls clad in bikinis and his eyes never searching anywhere but their faces. When looking, he only had certain expressions and tones of voice, all absent of the searing warmth of his attention. She watched it then as he spoke to Flore, who Maka would consider the most beautiful of the bunch, only the half-smile on his lips and eyes that looked on with a muted apathy. Even with women she assumed he cared for like Kim, Soul's voice might soften, a tone particularly for those he cherished, but there was something about his eyes that never changed.
To punctuate that thought, Soul turned his sights to her as that cool stare burned away to an intent gaze, a smirk blossoming. "Am I gonna have to pull you in?"
"You do and you'll regret it," Maka laughed.
Soul bobbed over to her, his hands planted to the dock next to her thighs. "Watch it, that sounds like a challenge." His eyes ticked over to Lizzie, checking her line of sight as it spanned across the water and turned his eyes back to Maka. 'You OK?' he mouthed at her.
Maka nodded as she let the comparison fall away and slid into the water, finding joy in his arms.
The fire was absolutely unnecessary except for the fact that you couldn't possibly enjoy marshmallows without it, so Soul had kept it low to make sure that it didn't accentuate the summer heat to the point of being absolutely unbearable. Most of them were still in half-soaked bathing suits allowing for at least a little reprieve and Soul was not so candidly stealing glances at the dips and curves laid bare by Maka's suit. It was a bikini, but probably one of the most modest he'd seen in his life. Maka wasn't even paying attention so he stole all he wanted, her focus on Susanna who had been once again sharing an Andre story since there was no escaping this pre-wedding week without every conversation being about something romantic.
"I heard you two had a rather romantic Christmas," Susanna's talk finally grabbed his attention as well.
"Sure, a black eye and a concussion are real romantic," Soul quipped back as he grabbed his beer from the arm of the chair, taking a swig.
Maka laughed, "I mean, it was more than that, but Soul was definitely-"
"I wasn't romantic," he grumbled but broke into a smirk, not even able to kid himself.
"Then let us decide," Flore curled a smile around her cup, already far gone on yet another bottle of champagne that had been passed around.
Soul groaned but Maka waved his ridiculousness away. "We weren't supposed to be seeing each other at all. And I'm up north, so the drive alone was almost three hours, but somehow he got the idea to come surprise me at the bar I was meeting a friend at."
"Marina told me I wasn't being romantic enough," Soul grumbled to Wes as an aside.
"Marina's usually right," Wes laughed back.
"Do you want to tell the story?" Maka cooed at him.
Soul shook his head and mimed sealing his lips before flicking the pretend key at her.
Maka delved into the meat of the story, reliving the fear of being grabbed and the absolute terror at watching him fight. As she continued to produce each minute detail since the faces around the fire seemed to be completely enraptured, Soul snuck his hand out and gently touched her arm. He was running his fingers up and down until the goosebumps formed, trying to focus more on them than the recounting of his borderline idiotic heroism. Soul didn't need it retold, didn't need them to know because while he was sure they'd 'oh' and 'ah' over the dreamy content, he wasn't some kind of-
"Like a white knight on his shining steed," Susanna gushed right on cue.
"It wasn't like that," Soul grimaced. "It was just-"
"The first time in a long time that I knew someone loved me," Maka slowly brought her eyes to him, a tentative smile coming to her lips. "And would do anything for me, even without asking."
"Yeah," Soul couldn't help but gape as those emerald eyes danced with the glow of the fire.
"So romantic," Flore burst before elbowing Kei. "When are you going to punch someone for me?"
"Hopefully never," Kei shook his head quickly. "And since when is romance all about fighting? What about our second date, the one at the park…"
And the stories continued, all vying for the place in the bracket of romance. Elena, the most level headed and self-proclaimed least romantic, had started a running list with on and off help from Lizzie. Soul barely heard any of it, his mind wrapped around Maka's summation of their story and that tidbit from Wes. She seems to stand alone so how long was a long time? The hatred for it rumbled inside of him, that need to protect from a past that he couldn't possibly be erased.
"This fire is too hot," Maka's lamenting finally echoed in his ear as her hand grabbed his. "Want to go back in for a little?"
"Sure," Soul shrugged away what he could of the thoughts before letting her pull him to his feet. The party didn't seem to notice the absence, just soft waves off as they walked into the darkness. The lake was fairly still, the water slow to let go of the heat leached from the day's sun but it was better than standing in front of the flame. Maka led him out to about chest deep before letting go of his hand to dip back to float.
"You were thinking too hard," Maka murmured up to the sky.
"Sure I was," Soul shrugged as he watched her bob on the surface.
"Didn't care for my retelling?"
"Story was fine." Soul played with the mud between his toes for a moment before moving closer to her but not enough to disrupt her. "I'm not the first guy you've dated."
She furrowed her brow for a moment. "No."
"And there probably wasn't a huge gap in time between me and them…" Soul sighed, unsure of what this was sounding like but again unable to just spit out an idea.
The lines on her forehead became more pronounced. "I didn't date a lot, but OK, yes, I guess the last time I went out on a date was a month before we met and there'd been three or four guys last year that I kind of saw regularly… Why?"
"You didn't date them for long." He hated the way that sounded and could see her bristle.
Maka dropped her feet to look at him rather than the sky. "They weren't worth dating for long." Even as the comment snapped back she couldn't help but infer the positive. "You are."
Soul shook his head, "I wasn't looking for a compliment."
"I didn't think you were, just saying the truth." Maka closed the space between them and as soon as her fingers touched his chest she could feel him relax, the jumbled mess of words there finally clicking together with the help of her caress.
"I just can't figure out how no one's loved you," he murmured. "You're, well, you, Maka. It's hard to imagine that anyone who came before me didn't take one look, spend one day, and realize you're worth taking a brick wall to the head for. I'd do it again, a million times and in a million different situations, you know?"
She laughed softly, "Please try not to. I think a million times would leave your brain a little scrambled."
"I just meant you're right, I'd do anything for you, but being the first one, I actually kind of hate that." He pressed his hand over hers as if it would soothe the way his heart ached for the next part. "It's rare, but when you let it out, how lonely you've been, it fucking devastates me. I keep thinking what it must have been like up until now, as a kid, even-"
"You were lonely, too," she tried to remind him in an effort to deflect. As with every time he circled closer to her hurt she wanted to push away from it.
"For different reasons," Soul corrected. "I still had Wes breathing down my neck, ready to give me love but from the way that you tell it nobody was trying with you. Because how long was a long time, Maka?"
A long time. Her lip trembled as she tried to isolate the last time she'd had the same feelings as over Christmas, that surety that someone was with her, not necessarily romantically, sexually, but a connection that couldn't be severed. Sure, the assumption was her parents, and that connection had been there when she was younger when they were happier, but as that faded so did the proof, the reminders of dedication forgotten with all the hurt and the pain obscuring it. "Maybe a few years before the divorce." That stung profoundly and her mind threatened to tell her limbs to pull away but she was frozen, the words draining everything from her body.
The time hit Soul like a slap in the face. "Fuck," was all he could utter as he felt it all for her as if her touch was feeding him every last bit of the emotional memories, the endless fights, the bitter secrets.
"Soul, it's alright-" she started the murmur but his hands were suddenly cupping her cheeks, cutting off anymore from her.
"It's not alright," he urged back. "It's not going to happen again, you hear me?" She could tell his voice was straining, ready to yell but fighting against it as the party still laughed lively behind them. "And you're never going to have to ask for it from me." Maka couldn't gauge what was more surprising, the burning in his eyes or the way he immediately crushed his lips against hers as the words left his mouth.
His hand had started their traditional route to running through her hair, threatening to mess up the bun she had created to keep the water from saturating it when the wolf-whistle broke them apart, signaling again that they weren't alone.
"Get a room," Elena called, followed by another whistle and assorted chatter.
Maka let out a trembling laugh as she planted her hands on his chest, forcing a separation rather than a show. Soul let his hands fall weakly back into the water, "Mind your business!" he complained.
Some playful 'oh's replied.
"Soul…" Maka pulled his attention away from the staring crowd, the ruckus of laughter. "I love you."
As Soul looked at her, it was hurt there that he was expecting, the echo of what he had been feeling for her a second ago, but the glow there was a surprise. Maka was smiling, not even a threat of tears in her eyes and a fiery blush on her cheeks as if they'd transported back to that first lengthy hug outside her dorm. It suddenly hit him that it wasn't the joking crowd behind them urging on some kind of embarrassment but just pure joy, happiness wiping away some of that old, caked-on heartache. He gave her back a smile that reflected hers before emphasizing each word, "I love you."