Chapter 38: London Blues
While Emily was in London, Hotch had his hands full. He hadn't realized how much co-parenting or, at least, responsibility sharing he was doing with Emily. She really took a load off him and, he hoped, he did the same for her. So, it was different without her around, even for only a few days.
The weekend was easy. Hotch didn't have work or plans outside of taking them to their last fall soccer game. Neither team winning, but they were still in a good mood and still energetic, so he took them home to change before going out to lunch and hitting the batting cages. Nate had an interest in baseball that Jack never really had. He, too, liked to play, but Nate was really interested in all of it, and, come to find out, wasn't half bad.
"With a little practice, you could be a great player, Nate," Hotch told him later that day.
"Really?"
"Yeah."
"Can we… can you and I go back there together to play? You know, if I'm not in London?"
"We can definitely go again Nate," he said. "Are you worried Emily is going to stay in London?"
He shrugged. "I know she'd come back for me and I'd go with her. It's just… That was where she worked and lived, right? She only came back here because of me."
"She would do anything for you."
"I know, but… But if she wants to go to London, I think we should."
"You want to go?"
He shook his head. "No. I like it here more than I've liked it anywhere else, but… But Emily's my mom and she needs to be happy too."
"You don't think she's happy now?"
"I don't know. Sometimes. Not all the time. And now she's better, that means she has to work again, right?"
"Typically, but not necessarily."
"What do you mean?"
"Emily loves you. You know that, right?"
"I know. I love her too."
"Good, but you know what loving someone means?"
"That you care about them no matter what?"
"Yes. That's definitely true, but it also means being willing to make sacrifices, and any parent who loves their kid like Emily loves you is willing to make sacrifices for their child. So, if you really don't want to go to England, then you should talk to her. I know she wants to make sure you're happy and, she would want to know."
"But… I don't want Emily not to go when she wants to just because she wants to do what I want. I love her, so I can make sacrifices for her like she does for me," he said, sounding much older than nine.
Hotch put a hand on his shoulder and said, "You're a smart kid, Nate, and very kind."
"Thanks."
"But I think this is a decision Emily is going to make with you in mind, and you should talk to her about it."
Again, he shrugged. "Ok."
"Emily should be calling any minute. Go find Jack and wash up for dinner."
He nodded and walked away.
Hotch was right. It was not ten minutes later that the call came through. The kids still washing up, he answered, "Hi Emily. How are things going there?"
"It's been a long day."
"Want to talk about it?"
"Yes, I do, but not now. When I'm not dead on my feet."
"Ok," he agreed. "Nate's just washing his hands before dinner. You're calling a little late today. Things alright there?"
She sighed, but answered, "Yes. Things are fine. I'm fine, anyway. Clyde has me all set up and comfortable. I'm going to bed right after this call. I have a feeling tomorrow's going to be longer than today."
"Then I won't keep you."
He called for Nate, letting him know Emily was on the phone, and the boy ran into the room, excited to talk to her. He immediately asked her a bunch of questions and wanted to see where she was staying.
"Is that your apartment?"
"No. My apartment is being used by other people. I'm staying with Clyde in his apartment."
"Oh… tell Clyde I said hi," Nate told her.
"I will. Tell me all about your day. What fun have you boys been up to without me?"
Nate reiterated their whole day. He told her about their games and the batting cages, even details about the food they ate. Then he asked her about her day, and her answer was nowhere near as detailed. By the end of their conversation, Nate ready to eat and Emily beyond tired, Nate became quiet.
"Is there something you want to talk about, Nate?"
He wrinkled his nose before speaking. "If you want to go to London forever, I… I'm ok with that," he said. "Dad and I can come with you, and that would be ok."
"Alright…" Emily said, not knowing where that was coming from. "Do you want to come back to London?"
"I… I want to do whatever you want."
"So, you'd want to come with me if that's what I wanted?"
"Uh huh. I'd be happy because I'd be with you and Dad, too, right? He would come?"
"He would come with us, yes."
"And you have your job there, right?"
"I do."
"You liked your job."
"Very much."
"So, you should go back… If you want to."
"Well, Nate, I won't make any decisions tonight."
"Ok. But think about it."
"I will." Emily shook her head. "Alright Nate, I think it's time for me to get to bed here and you to go eat dinner. Can you tell Jack that I said hi and that I miss him?"
"He misses you too. And me. I miss you."
"I miss you, Nate. Love you."
"Love you too."
Emily then asked to talk to Hotch again. "What was that about?"
He moved somewhere a little more private and told the kids to take a seat at the table.
"I think he knows you have some decisions to make and wants you to make them based on what you want, not just what you think he wants."
"He's nine."
"He's your kid. What do you expect?"
"I expect him to be nine and let me worry about the grown-up things."
"Doesn't always work out that way."
"No, it doesn't." She paused. "What do you think I should do?"
"Like Nate said, whatever you think is best for you and him."
"He called me mom, you know? Not just referred to me as his mom but called me mom."
"That's great Emily."
"It made me feel… Amazing doesn't even begin to cover it. It was just like it was when he was a baby."
"I'm happy for you. For both of you."
"Thanks," Emily said. "So, more on Nate. How's he doing?"
"I've been keeping him busy, but he misses you already."
"I miss him. I miss all of you. It feels different being here now."
"Different how?"
"I don't know yet. Just different."
"I hope you can figure that out then," he sincerely said. "Have you made any decisions?"
"Not yet, but I did get to see Lorna."
"How'd that go?"
"She's what made it a long day. I get one more crack at her tomorrow, and I think I found something, so more on that later."
She yawned.
"Get some rest, Emily."
"Yeah, I will. Thanks Dad," she joked.
"Goodnight Emily."
"Talk tomorrow."
Emily hung up and got ready for bed. She wasn't lying. It had been a very long day. By the time she flew in, it was nearly 10 am, London time. She didn't sleep at all on the plane, and rather than take a moment to rest, she went straight into the office.
All her coworkers were happy to see her. She talked to most of them sporadically over the months, and they reached out to her to offer support and check in when they could. Upon seeing her, many asked about her health, how she was doing and when she was returning.
She had no answers for the latter.
Nothing felt like it once did or how she anticipated it to be. She was back, but not really… These people were her friends and colleagues, but all she could think about was back home… Home. There was that word again. Being there felt new all over again.
"Emily, Darling," Clyde greeted her in her office, giving her a welcomed hug as the two exchanged their usual hellos. "Why hadn't you come to the apartment first? Settle in a bit."
"I just want to get started. When can I see her?"
"She's being moved to a secure location. Likely within the hour."
"Good."
"She hasn't said much so far."
"Didn't think she would."
"She won't talk with you either."
"Good thing she doesn't have a choice. In the meantime, I have something I want to show you."
Clyde nodded and sat down, while Emily pulled out some note ridden files, passing them to him. He tried to follow the notes, but many of them were written in haste, quickly and messily.
"What is this?"
"I think I found more related cases. I'm hoping now that I'm here I can really get back into the system and find more proof to my theory."
"Have at it. I'll come get you once she's ready for you. And Emily," he said. "It's good to see you here again."
"Thanks Clyde."
He walked out of the room slowly, observing Emily at her desk as he did. Emily paid it no mind and just got to work. She wanted to get Lorna to talk, to break the walls that no one else had been able to. The woman spoke but said nothing of value. She wasn't willing to rat out anyone. Emily understood loyalty, but everyone had their breaking point. Emily had to find hers.
Unfortunately, it wouldn't happen the first day. Emily spent hours in the room with her. They talked, Emily even getting her to talk more about how she came to be part of Interpol. Though, that was something they already knew, and Emily suspected that Lorna knew that they did.
So, for hours, it appeared to be a fruitless back and forth, but Emily didn't see it that way. There were no confessions or ground-breaking revelations, but Emily learned what she needed to learn from Lorna. She knew what she needed to get deeper. Lorna let something slip that Emily could use.
It took some digging. Once her time with Lorna was up and the prisoner was moved to a temporary, secure location, Emily returned to her office. She sat there, back to the picturesque London skyline as she searched high and low for what she was looking for.
Eventually, as the sun was way past set, she thought she found just what she needed. She printed out a few images, pulled a few old files together, and came up with a plan of attack. One way or another, she was determined to get Lorna to talk about what mattered. She would get her to turn.
As soon as she got to Clyde's place, she called home to talk with Nate. She knew she should have called earlier, but it was what it was. She lost track of time and it was still earlier in the evening there. It wasn't like she was waking them up.
Despite her tiredness, hearing from them made her happy and livened her up again. Talking to them always did. It left her a little unsettled too. Nate was willing to move to make her happy. He was selfless and amazing, but Emily still wasn't sure what she wanted. Even without Nate in the picture, she wasn't sure.
The next day, the interrogation started just like the day before and continued that way for some time. It wasn't until their third meeting and after Emily's hunch was confirmed that real progress was made. Emily didn't want to play her hand. She wanted Lorna to think she was in control while Emily waited for the moment. It came.
"Why are you here?" Lorna asked. "Why do you care so much about everything? Do you even work here anymore? Tell me this is about more than a job because if it's not, this is excessive."
"Do you actually want me to answer?"
Lorna rolled her eyes.
"You're an idiot, you know," Emily said.
"Excuse me."
"You're an idiot."
"I heard what you said, Emily, but I have yet to hear why."
"Why? Because you may see the big picture, but you fail to see what's right in front of you."
"Please enlighten me."
Emily pushed her chair forward, leaning onto the table and trying to truly engage Lorna. She could tell the other woman was listening, but she wasn't quite hooked yet. She would be, Emily thought.
"How old was your brother when he was killed?" Emily changed the line of thought, throwing the other woman off.
Lorna looked confused, wondering why he was being brought up and how Emily knew about him. She made sure to erase all records of everything. Maybe the bitch is better than I gave her credit for.
"Five, right? You were about 18. Your mom died about then too."
Lorna squinted at Emily, glaring, but didn't really respond. She didn't want to think about their deaths.
"He killed them. You realize that don't you?" Emily cryptically said.
"What?" Lorna finally gave Emily her full attention.
"Your mother… Your little brother too, I believe."
"Who?"
"You know who. The same man you're so intent on protecting. The guy you have done terrible things for. Your father Gabriel Scarlatti…"
"He did not. He wouldn't," she insisted.
"Whatever helps you sleep at night."
"He wouldn't do that."
Emily leaned back in her chair, knowing she had the upper hand. "I have proof."
Looking Emily dead in the eyes, Lorna sternly, between clenched teeth, said, "Show me."
So, she did. She pulled out the folder and, piece by piece, put the puzzle together for Lorna. Emily could see how each thing brought the woman closer to the edge, sinking into her own despair and questioning how she didn't know.
"You really didn't suspect, did you?" Emily asked, not expecting an answer.
The truth was that Lorna didn't suspect her father at all. In fact, her father promised her that he would take care of the people who did that to them, who stole the two other most important people in their lives from them. Now, all along, it was him, and he never paid. She even protected him.
"How? How do you know this? How do I know you're not just making this up?"
"Look at the evidence, Lorna. I didn't make that up. We're trained to do a lot to get a suspect to talk, and I'm not above deception when necessary, but we had some kind of work friendship at some point," she exaggerated. "And I wouldn't use that little boy's death to get you to talk. You should know that by now."
That was the problem. She did know, which was why she was so inclined to believe the evidence that went against everything she ever knew. She gave up her life for her father's cause. She did all she did, including joining Interpol, because of his nonsense. Only now was that beginning to click for her.
"Why are you telling me this? What do you want?"
"You know what I want," Emily said. "I want to give your family justice and I want to do the same to the thousands of other families who suffered because of your father and his games. And I want you to help me do that. No, I need you to help me do that."
"Everything can't be for nothing," Lorna said, speaking mostly to herself.
"It won't be for nothing. You made choices based on false information. What did he tell you? Law enforcement killed them somehow?" Lorna's movements confirmed that for Emily. "I get it. Emotions and bad information drove you to do all you did, and you're paying for it, but it doesn't have to take everything from you. We can work out a deal that makes everyone happy. There's still a light at the end of the tunnel for you. You just have to help me."
"I don't know if I can."
It was the first time Emily had seen Lorna vulnerable and even open to talking options. She was hurting and, while Emily never had a great relationship with her, she still knew her, and, because of that didn't want to see her suffer. Then again, the women went after Nate, indirectly or not, so Emily didn't mind seeing her hurt after that.
"You can if you want any kind of lenience."
It took some back and forth, but eventually they came to an agreement. Ahead of time, Emily was given permission to deal with her, being told specifically what they were prepared to offer for Lorna's help. Emily was prepared on that front and came to play.
The woman would do time, that was a given, but she was able to do it in a prison of her choosing and under a different name so that she couldn't be tracked. With her cooperation, if they got a conviction or if her intel proved as invaluable as they hoped, then they could revisit her sentence and talk about what comes next.
The woman had to spill everything first.
"Leave no detail out," Emily said. "Start at the beginning. Have you always known Scarlatti was your father?"
"Yes," she answered.
They moved gradually from there, Emily recording their entire interaction. Lorna was surprisingly forth coming. When they reached topics that Emily wanted to examine further, Lorna answered her questions without hesitation. Emily supposed the cooperation had a lot to do with revenge. After showing Lorna her mother and brother's dead bodies and the irrefutable proof that her father was involved in their murders, she expected some candor, but not this outpouring.
"There is one more thing," Lorna said, just as Emily was about to leave.
"What?"
Lorna stared at Emily and said, "I can tell you where he'll be next and what he plans to do, but it will cost you."
"Cost me what?"
"Time, maybe a few men, money, and, if you're there, hopefully your life," she spitefully answered.
Emily sat back down, ignoring that last bit. "Get talking."
Lorna told Emily about an upcoming meeting that, assuming nothing had changed since her incarceration and Bardolino's death, would take place in only a few short days, and would involve many of the different heads of organizations.
"Call it an international crime summit," Lorna teased. "I'm sure you'd like to see the keynote speaker. I think he'd like to see you too. Though, he'd either want you naked in his bed or with your throat slit. Potentially both, not simultaneously."
Emily tried not to let anything Lorna said get to her. Instead of biting, she got the names down and tried to mentally plug them in to the information she already knew. Then she was done. She got all she possibly could and now had to share the information with her team…
Thinking they were her team didn't feel right. She was their leader, but she hadn't really felt like she was part of their family… They were a unit, but they weren't the kind of team she was once used to.
"Are you going to go?"
"I don't know," Emily honestly answered.
"I know that the minute you leave here, my life is all but over if you don't get these people, so, because of that, I hope you take them all down, but I wouldn't be sad if you burned along with them."
"Wonderful," Emily snarked, standing to leave.
But before leaving, never planning to see Lorna again, Emily asked, "Was it all a lie? I never liked you, but I always believed you were good at your job on some level. Did you believe in any of the work you did here or was it all just part of the cover?"
"You know how it goes," Lorna answered. "It starts out as an act, but eventually, some of it has to become real… If it doesn't, then you're not real either."
Sadly, Emily did understand that. There was no drawing a line and keeping the real you and the act separate.
"We're going to take everyone down. Your mother and brother will get their justice, but you'll never find peace knowing what you did for a man that did nothing but hurt you."
Emily parted with those words, never looking back. After that, she set the rest of the plan in motion. By the end of the week, at least three major crime organizations would be cut off at the head and several others, at the very least, weakened. It would be a big win for Interpol and her as well. She was happy about that, thrilled really. It reflected well on her and the agency. A part of her even wished she would be at the raid, but she wasn't quite cleared or ready for that kind of duty yet. Clyde and the interagency taskforce could handle it without her.
Until then, she had a lot to take care of in London.
Emily realized something as she spent the rest of the week working in the office and hanging around with Clyde. She concluded that her new beginning in London, her career and life in a city she loved, wasn't the same anymore. She loved Clyde and spending time was him was like spending time with family, but the city itself was lonelier than it had ever been without Nate. While she thought it would be a wonderful place to raise him and he would grow up well educated and happy, home for him was in the US, and if she was honest with herself, she knew that was her home too. It always had been.
She returned to the states knowing that was where they belonged and would remain, but unsure about so much else. She had no idea what came next, but she would worry about that once she was home with her family, and after she saw Nate again.
She missed him so much. Talking to him every day wasn't enough. So, she left London earlier than she originally planned after taking care of loose ends. She made plans to see Clyde again soon, and then hopped on the soonest plane she could.
Sadly, Nate wasn't there to greet her. He was over at a sleep over party. It was his very first friend sleep over that wasn't with Henry or Jack. It bummed her out that she wasn't there to drop him off or pick out the birthday gift with him.
"There'll be many more times," she reminded herself as she waited for her luggage to come around the carousel.
Emily grabbed her bag, securing the carryon around her shoulder, and made her way through customs. After that, she was home free. She was just about to head out to catch a cab when a voice caught her attention.
"Going somewhere?"
A smile took over her face.
"Hotch? What are you doing here?"
"You didn't really think I was going to make you take a cab, did you?"
"Yes…"
"You know me better than that."
He held out his hand and signaled for her to let him take her bag. Chivalry was not dead, and she had no fuel to argue that she could handle it on her own. He drove her home where he had dinner waiting for her.
"I picked up your favorites from that Moroccan place you like, so I hope you have an appetite."
"I can eat," she said, taking a seat at the table after washing up.
"Good. Sit down. We should have just enough time for us to eat before one of the kids call and we surprise them with your early arrival."
He sat the plates on the table and told her to help herself while he filled up their drinks.
"How did things go in London? Get everything done that you wanted?"
"Well, you know what I found. They're going to Italy tomorrow."
"You didn't want to go?"
"What for?"
"To be there. To see it through."
"I have seen it through. Months of my life were spent seeing it through. Now it's time to focus on something else… Like finding a job maybe."
"What?"
"I turned in my resignation."
"That's… Wow. How did Clyde take it?"
"He knew it was coming. Said he was lucky to have me for the time he did."
"He wasn't wrong," Hotch agreed. "You're going to move here permanently?"
"Yes. I think it's what's best. This is where we need to be."
He nodded.
"And I think I found a place for Nate and myself," Emily said before taking a bite.
"Really? Where?"
"Here."
"With me?"
"No. Nice as you've been and as great as this arrangement has worked out, I don't think it's fair. Not to you and Jack, and not to Nate either. I have to figure out how to do this on my own."
"You don't ever have to be on your own, Emily. We're always here for you."
"I know that. What I mean is that I need to figure out this new situation and how to be in a place that is my own, my choosing, just the two of us."
"I don't think you have to worry about that too much. You've been doing a wonderful job so far. Nate is better for having you in his life, and so are we. If you want to go because it's something you need to do, I support that, but if you want to wait, then don't leave because you think it's what we want or need. Don't know if you noticed, but we kind of like having you here."
"I think it's best we go, but, if things work out, we won't be going far."
"No? Did you find a place nearby? Is that what you meant?"
"Yes."
"A house?"
"No, an apartment. Here, in this building actually."
"Really?"
"Yes. I talked with the landlord before I left and then got a call while I was away. There are some people moving out shortly. There's a one bedroom, but that doesn't work, a two bedroom on this level, and a three bedroom a floor below."
"Do you want an apartment? Not a house?"
"Honestly, Hotch, I don't know what I want. I don't know what happens next. I'm jobless, squatting, and still healing, but I think I can figure things out in time. I hope so."
"You will. I think this will be good. Plus, Jack and I will be right here. I can still use you as a babysitter."
"Me too."
"And we can still have dinner together from time to time."
"Count me in," she said, smiling and lifting her wine glass.
"Welcome home," he said, raising his glass to clink with hers.
Neither of them was thinking too much about how natural this all felt… The two of them acting like a married couple raising their kids together, or how different it would be with the separation again.