Chapter 40: Served
When they arrived at the Hotchner household, Emily took Nate to talk privately. She just wanted to gage where his head was at. He was angry. That much was clear.
"He shouldn't have said that," he seethed.
"No, he shouldn't have. But it's ok, Nate. I'm ok."
"It's not ok. He was mean again. I thought that was done."
"Nate, I know that it's hard to see your father like that. It's hard for me, too, but he doesn't mean it. Part of his injury causes outbursts like that. The doctors say that they're getting better, but they're still going to happen."
"I don't want to talk to him then."
"I know you don't mean that."
"I do," he huffed, obstinately crossing his arms across his chest.
"For what it's worth, he apologized to me, and he promised he'd apologize to you if you'd allow him."
"Yeah right."
"He's going to call you, Nate. When he does, please consider talking to him."
"Why?"
"Because he's your dad and you love each other. What he did was wrong and, yes, it made me feel bad, but he loves you and he's also going through stuff."
A part of Nate deflated, the anger starting to cool.
"Is he really going to call?"
"He said he would."
She was really hoping he didn't prove her a liar.
"Fine. I'll talk to him, but I won't be happy about it."
"That's ok."
It took a while for Nate to not be angry with his father after that visit, but he cooled down in time. James did as she told him. He called every night at the same time, just after his last therapy session of the day. The first few calls were rough, but Nate started to engage with him more and more as time passed. The calls did exactly what she thought they would. Unfortunately, they wouldn't see James in person until near Thanksgiving and a lot was done in the time between.
The night they came back from the visit, long after Emily's talk with Nate as the boys readied for bed, Emily, pouring hot tea into mugs for herself and Hotch, asked him what exactly James meant by their little chat.
"I don't know what you mean."
"Come on Hotch. James accused me of being in a relationship with you and said you were being protective. What did you say?"
"I just told him he had to treat you and Nate better. He hasn't done what I asked."
"It's not his fault."
"Maybe not completely, no, but you said yourself that now he has more control over it. He may have outbursts, but he has the tools and wherewithal to stop them before they escalate. He wasn't a hothead before, was he?"
"No," she admitted. "He was passionate, but never confrontational."
"Anyway, I talked to him man to man and told him that he needed to work on himself and be there for his son because the way things were going wasn't working for anyone."
"When was this?"
"Your birthday."
"I appreciate that you talked with him, but I don't need you fighting my battles."
"No, you don't, but I didn't like the way he was treating you or how his behavior affected you and Nate, so I said something. I wasn't going to let that continue. You didn't deserve that and neither did Nate. I stand by that."
"Ok… No arguments. Thanks, but please leave any future talks to me."
"I will but know I won't hold my tongue if I see you going down the rabbit hole again."
"I'd expect nothing less." She smiled. "Nate wants some Mom time." She smiled bigger. "I'm reading a chapter to him and Jack's forced to listen in."
"He likes it."
"He'd like it more if you read with me."
"How can I refuse? I'll change and meet you in there."
"Great," Emily said.
The boys thought so too. They took turns reading the chapter until both were out like a light. Then Emily bid Hotch goodnight and went into her room, slowly working on packing a box or two while she tired. It didn't take long, and just as she was about to fall asleep, the ding of her phone alerted her to a message from James.
"Sorry about today. I will call tomorrow. Please help me with Nate."
Emily rolled her eyes. She didn't doubt that he was sorry in his own way, but the change in him frustrated her. It wasn't just the change from the accident either, but what she was only beginning to realize was a total shift in his personality back when he first met Vince. She didn't like it. So, she decided not to answer. She would help, but she wasn't going to spend her life fixing things for him.
Her sleep was turbulent. Every time she fell asleep, she ended up waking and tossing around, trying to get comfortable. Eventually, sleep won out and she got a solid few hours before the morning began, and the boys were off to school.
Then her day really began. She called Derek first thing, hoping to catch him before the morning briefing or a case came up.
"Hey Em. What's up?"
"Hi Derek. You know, the usual. Freeloading off Hotch."
"Hey now. I hear you're moving out."
"I am. Nate and I got an apartment in the building. I expect your big strong muscles there to help with the move."
"You got it."
"That's actually part of why I'm calling."
"Yeah?"
"I need a realtor. Know any good ones?"
"Sure. If you have the apartment, what do you need the realtor for?"
"To sell James' house. It's… I need to take care of that."
"I've got some people. Give me the info and I'll make a few calls later."
"That would be great, Derek. Thank you."
"We gonna get together sometime? I miss my partner."
"I miss you too, Derek. Let's get a drink this weekend. On me. The first one anyway."
"Yeah. Count me in. Pen will probably be in on that too."
"Alright. The three of us. I'll talk to her too."
"Send me the info and I'll make the calls after the briefing."
"Thanks Derek. I'll email you everything."
She did that as soon as they hung up and then she waited, but there were plenty of things to tide herself over. Mostly, she went over to the house and packed some things up. Once she had the realtor lined up, she would decide what to do with the furniture. She could keep it there for the open houses, sell it, store it, or take some to the apartment. No decision was made yet. She was there to pack up more of Nate's stuff. She didn't have much there that wasn't still packed up. All her stuff from London remained mostly untouched and still in the boxes they were sent after she decided to live like a minimalist. Or maybe she just wasn't comfortable there, she thought. Made her job easier now, though.
She wanted to get more of Nate's stuff ready and maybe bring a few things to Hotch's for him to have already. Most of his colder weather clothes were at the house, so she needed to bring those, but it felt as good a time as any for some "spring" cleaning.
"To start over once and for all," she said to no one. "I'll make it work with James, and everything will be ok."
It was her own little pep talk and it motivated her to really make a dent in things. She managed to get all the stuff from her room into a few boxes and took Nate's stuff in a suitcase she found in the coat closet. Packing it into her car, she headed back to the apartment and unloaded it just in time for Derek's phone call.
One of the realtors he used for residential properties worked in the area and was willing to work with her on this.
"He wants to meet you at the house sometime. This week if possible. Can you do that?"
"Yeah. I can manage."
"Here's his number," Derek said, sharing the digits. "Call him when you get a chance. His name is Wayne McGregor."
"Thanks for doing this Derek."
"No problem, and if you want me to stop by the new apartment before we go out this weekend to check for any issues, let me know."
"I will. Thanks again."
"Got to go. Hotch is calling, but we'll talk soon."
"Bye."
Hanging up, Emily dialed the number she jotted down and set up an appointment for Friday morning. The rest of her week was full, but that would have to work. Busy was better, she thought. Less time to overthink herself into anxiety that way.
Lucky for her, time moved quickly and was filled with things to get done. Little by little, she packed up their stuff from the house. James called like clockwork, every night at 7:30, and Emily could see the change in Nate. Emily kept the meeting on the books with the lawyer anyway.
Wednesday morning, she drove into DC to meet with Malcolm.
"Hi Emily," he greeted.
"Hi. Thanks for meeting with me."
"No problem," he said. "I have a few preliminary documents. These are standard and not yet tailored specifically to your situation, but I wanted to speak with you more about what you wanted before doing that."
He walked her through the documents, explaining the options they had and what they would mean before asking her what exactly she wanted to do.
"I want to present James with some options. I don't want to threaten him… But I will if I must. I just… There has been some tension between us, and that's fine. I don't care, but he's only just starting to treat Nate better, like he is his son again. As he gets better and the more we talk, I worry that he'll take Nate and run the first chance he gets."
Emily sighed. She was more worried about that than she chose to admit to herself.
"I think he's afraid I'd keep Nate from him, which I don't intend to do. So, I'd like to have a document for a shared custody arrangement that I can present to him."
"And if he says no?"
"Then I present option B. Filing for sole permanent custody."
"Is he abusive in anyway?" Malcom leaned forward. "I'm sorry to be so blunt about it, and understand it might be sensitive to talk about, but you said that he hasn't treated his son right. I need to know. Has he hurt either Nate or you?"
"What?" Emily asked, surprised. "No… I mean, after his injury, he had a bit of a temper which could be a little explosive at times, but he never hit anybody. He wouldn't hurt Nate. Not physically anyway."
"What do you mean by explosive temper?"
Emily got into the details, even revealing the time he got a little physical with her and what the doctors have said.
"He's learning to control it," she told him. "By the time he's done with the rehab, they think he'll be less easy to set off and when that does happen, reign it in before it gets out of hand."
"But he has the potential to be physical," Malcom stated.
"I guess, but I don't want to have to use his injury against him."
"It's a last resort," Malcom agreed. "But it's something we might need to consider."
"I… Yes, I suppose so."
"For now, let's talk custody arrangement. What were you thinking for that? I know the situation is complicated. We've talked about the difficulties of you being the donor mother rather than natural mother, but because you currently have temporary custody and Nate has flourished under your care, I think you have a much better case," he said. "The document there is the generic 50/50 split."
"I think, with conditions, that might be the best option. What other arrangements are there?"
Emily and Malcom spent over two hours coming up with the document they wanted. It wasn't orthodox, but neither was their situation, and Emily just wanted Nate to have the best of everything. She wanted him to have both his father and mother and all the other people who cared about him in his life. She hoped that presenting this document to James, when the time was right, would help give Nate that.
"I'll draw this up and send it as soon as possible."
"Thank you so much."
"You understand that just giving this to him won't be like serving him, right?"
"I know. I just want to present this to him and let him know that I don't want to take Nate away, but I also don't want Nate taken away from me. So far, he hasn't really grasped that I just want what's best for all of us. This seems to be extreme enough to make him pay attention, but also be as amicable as possible by doing it more casually."
"Ok." He held out his hand. "Then I suppose that's all for today. You'll get the file in the mail shortly."
"Thanks again," she said, shaking his hand.
She went about the day after that. James called that night, and it was the first time Nate wanted to be the one to answer the phone. Usually he wanted Emily to talk to him and then pass the call on to him as if to keep it shorter.
Emily took that as progress. The calls got a little better each time.
Friday, she met with the realtor. He said they would have no problem selling it. Because it was only lived in for a short time and there was some work done on it not long before, they could put it on the market right away. She would have to put the stuff in storage, deciding not to take any of it and not wanting to sell it so that James would still have stuff once he found a different place.
There was a lot on her to-do list. Thankfully, the weekend was upon them. Hotch planned to take the boys to the museum. Henry wanted to go, too, so JJ tagged along. After that, they went furniture shopping. Nate picked out his bunk beds and helped Emily decide on everything else. That was set to be delivered in two weeks when Emily would be allowed to move in. She was happy to have that out of the way. Painters were finishing up that week and then she would be allowed to start putting in the small things.
Later that evening, Nate had a sleepover with Henry, and Emily spent time with Derek and Penelope. It was good for them to catch up. After they looked through the apartment, Derek saying everything looked good and he could build her some nice shelves for the living room, they went to a local bar.
"What can I get you ladies?" Derek asked.
"Oh, something girly," Penelope squealed. "With an umbrella."
"Just make that two, Derek."
"Coming right up," he said, leaving the girls at the table alone.
"So," Penelope started. "How are things with Boss man going?"
"You know he's not my boss anymore, right PG?"
"He could be your boss man in other ways," she said, raising her eyebrows up and down implying something less than regulation.
"We're just friends who happen to be cohabitating."
"Sounds like a missed opportunity to me. Please tell me you've at least caught him with his tie off if you know what I mean."
"You're as subtle as a freight train, Pen. I know what you mean… and I haven't… well, not intentionally."
"You've seen him naked," the blonde screamed.
Emily blushed, and it got worse when Derek came up from behind them and asked who saw who naked.
"Emily and Hotch," Penelope was all too happy to share.
"Hey now. When did that become a thing?" he asked, wide eyed, as he put down their drinks.
"It's not," Emily insisted.
"Then how did the two of you end up naked together?" Derek asked.
"We weren't both naked," Emily confessed before she heard her own words. "It's not like that. Look, Hotch was in the shower and I had to use the bathroom. The place only has one you know. I knocked first and everything, but I couldn't hold it anymore and went in… Just as he was coming out."
"No towel?"
"No towel."
"How big was he?" Penelope gleamed.
"Do not answer that," Derek said.
"I won't." She put up her hand. "Ah, ah, ah. No, Garcia. I'm not going into detail. Hotch and I, like the three of us, are just friends. Though, unlike you and Derek here, we don't flirt."
"But you could."
You do, the others both thought.
"No. We really couldn't."
"You so could, but I'll sit back and wait to say I told you so," she huffed, crossing her arms.
Emily insisted that day would never come, but it was nice to have that playful banter in her life again. They asked her about her job prospects and why she didn't just come back to the BAU. She honestly told them that, while she missed working with them and seeing them so much, she wanted a stable 9 to 5 job. She wanted something that didn't require a lot of travel and allowed her to set roots down.
"Last time you tried that, you ran to England," Derek reminded her.
"Last time, I didn't have Nate to consider. Not in the same way."
Derek understood what she was saying. When she took the Interpol job, not only was she dealing with her own traumas after coming back from Doyle and hiding, but she had this suppressed loss in her heart that always weighed on her.
"I'm proud of you," Derek told her. "You're a great mom, Emily. Don't forget that."
"Thanks Derek. I try. That's all I can do, I've realized."
They spent some time talking decorating and job prospects. Emily told them she put some feelers out, which she had, and already got a few bites. It was all wait and see for now.
Overall, Emily called the evening a fun, relaxing end to the week before the hectic move and transition began. And it came much quicker than she was prepared for.
While the boys were at school, Emily had a routine to her day. Once they were out and Hotch at work, she would go for her daily run, shower, then head to the house to pack. Movers came to bring the furniture to storage as well as all of James' and Vince's stuff. Emily didn't know what she should've done with Vince's stuff, but, honestly, she didn't want to deal with it, so she didn't.
The house was cleared out rather quickly and all of her and Nate's boxes were packed and ready over the next two weeks. Showings of the house didn't take long to begin either. Things were moving along.
On moving day, everyone was there to help Emily out, even, to Emily's surprise, Elizabeth. She took on the role of babysitter, taking Jack and Nate off to keep them busy, deciding to bring them to a nearby fair. That, perhaps, shocked Emily most of all. No way would Elizabeth have ever been caught dead at a fair while Emily was growing up. She was happy that she would do that for her grandchild. Warmed Emily a bit.
"I like the colors you picked for this place," JJ said.
"Thanks."
"I absolutely love Nate's room."
"It's pretty cool."
"Henry's going to want that too," JJ said, referencing the ceiling.
Nate wanted to paint the room a dark blue, so he could put glowing stars all over the walls. Emily vetoed that but promised something better. She delivered. The walls were painted his second choice, green. The ceiling was a shade of blue and the stars were put on, but she took it a step further. With Derek's help, she put up a thin cloth a few inches below the ceiling, stretching from wall to wall. In between the cloth and ceiling were the white Christmas lights. Whenever the room lights were out and those were on, it appeared as if he was looking right into the sky, stargazing.
Nate went crazy for it. In fact, the first night there, the two of them spent a quiet hour cuddled up in a blanket on his floor just staring at it.
Their place was very them, and ready to be lived in. It was perfect timing too, because they were a week out from Thanksgiving, and she was hosting. Plus, she had a lot on her mind still. Not only had the custody papers arrived and currently burned a hole in her bag waiting to be presented, but she had a few job offers on the table.
She had decisions to make, but they all said she could have until after the holiday to make it. She just had to make it through it, first.
The Tuesday before Thanksgiving, Nate and Jack had off. They were staying with Emily as Hotch was off on a case, coming back that night or the next morning. Before knowing Jack would be with her, Emily made plans to take Nate to see his father again. Now, Jack had to go with them, but she hoped that would work in their favor. Maybe James would comport himself better.
Before they left, Emily asked Nate how he felt about James spending a few days with them.
"Like living with us?"
"Only for a few days. He still has therapy to do and needs to go back to the rehab to see it through."
Nate nodded and made it clear that he was ok with it, happy even. And so, Emily talked with James' doctor about how to continue his care at home for a few days and if there was anything she needed to do. They gave her pamphlets of instructions, and, only after deeming herself capable of helping him do it, did she present the idea to Nate. She hadn't yet told James, but she didn't foresee him saying no.
They drove to the rehab later in the afternoon, getting there when they knew he would have completed his therapies for the day. They were a welcomed surprise. James was in better spirits. He was smiling more and welcoming to them. He even talked with Jack, which he hadn't often done in the past. It gave her some hope that things between the three of them could be amicable and, dare she think it, pleasant.
"So, how do you feel about coming home with us for Thanksgiving?" Emily asked him once she sent the boys to the lobby to get some snacks from the vending machine.
"I'm allowed to leave for that long?"
"This is a rehabilitation facility, mostly for injuries. It's not a prison. Yes, you can leave."
He didn't really respond past a roll of the eyes.
"I got it okayed with your doctors. They say your seizures are relatively under control. Gave me some emergency meds, just in case, and you'll need to do physical therapy at the apartment, but I have some equipment and a list of exercises to do with you. You can come home with us tonight and stay until Friday. Is that something you'd want?"
"Does Nate want that?"
"Yes," she said with a smile. That he asked about Nate before thinking of his own wants was promising. "I wouldn't have even brought it up if he didn't want it. But, before you answer, know that there are some conditions."
"Which are?"
"You have to follow the rules the doctors gave you. You're not allowed to drink because of your meds and you have to continue your occupational therapy as well."
"And? I know there's more."
"And you have to be civil with my friends. Hotch, Jack, and Penelope will be over for dinner and most of the day. So will my mother. You're not allowed to start anything with them."
He sighed but nodded. "I won't."
"Good. Then, if you'd like to come, we can pack you a bag and get going."
He nodded again and slowly moved toward his dresser. Emily helped him out with the packing, kindly telling him he looked better.
"Healthier. You got some of your weight back," she said.
"Thanks," was all he said.
It didn't take long for him to get what he needed together. Emily told him she pulled some of his clothes from storage too. Because of that, they were done before the boys returned and ready to leave.
He was walking much better. She still took the wheelchair for him because he tended to need it right after PT, but he walked out on his own with the aid of a cane. One side of his body was still weaker than the other. He was getting better, stronger.
It was an easy ride. Nate and Jack talked in the back, both trying to get Emily and James to talk with them too. They did well at it and made the ride go by faster. Then they settled in for a quiet evening. Dinner was takeout, something they were relying on a bit too much lately, but it was ok. Then Nate showed his dad around. While he did that, spending a lot of time in his room, Jack spent some time with Emily.
"You ok Jack?"
"Yeah. I was wondering…"
"About what?"
"Could I sleep in my apartment tonight?"
"Are you uncomfortable here, Jack? Is it because of James?"
"Yes… No. I mean no. I'm not uncomfortable, but I can tell Nate wants time with just his dad. If I slept upstairs in my room, then James could sleep on the bottom bunk."
"That's very sweet of you Jack, but I'm afraid that you can't stay there by yourself. I think I have a solution, though. I have a couch in my office that turns into a bed. I was going to give James my room and stay in there, but what if you take it? Then you'd have your own space and don't have to be alone upstairs. If you get lonely, you can always come into my room."
He nodded. "Yeah. Ok. Thanks."
Emily patted him on the shoulder and asked if he wanted to join her for some ice cream. Naturally, he didn't say no to that. They asked Nate and James to join them too. It all made for an uneventful, serene, almost surreal, evening. Emily liked it that way.
Hotch and the team returned the next morning, just in time for the pre-Thanksgiving craziness to start. Emily had a bunch of food prep to get on top of as well as helping James. However, Nate had that part covered. Hotch joined them for breakfast, and James was quiet, trying to keep his mouth shut, but Hotch tried to be friendly and breach the peace between them. The kids helped keep everyone in check.
Nate was happy having his dad around. A lot like he did with Emily, he took on the role of champion and healer, pushing James in his recovery, especially during PT. Once they ate, Emily recruited Hotch and Jack to help her in the kitchen with the pies she was making and left Nate to have more time with his dad.
While James was staying with them, she took a more passive position in Nate's life. It was something she consciously did, wanting Nate to enjoy his time with James without them getting into any arguments over one thing or another.
Nate told his dad that he was going to help him.
"Just like I helped Mom when she had to do PT. We did exercises every night together."
"You did?"
"Yup. She said that I was an excellent helper and really good motivation."
"She's probably right."
"She got better. Now I can help you too."
"I'd like that."
Nate was medicine. Nate pushed James and James wanted to be pushed by him. Every morning, they would get up and get right to work after breakfast. Every night, they would work on his occupational therapy to improve his writing and speech.
Thanksgiving was interesting. For the most part, even with Hotch and Jack around the day before, Hotch and James didn't interact much. When they were all spending time together, especially with nosey Penelope around, things certainly got more exciting.
It was the first chance Penelope really had some one on one time with James while he had the ability to communicate easily.
They were all waiting for dinner. Elizabeth was helping Emily in the kitchen. Nate and Jack went with Hotch up to his apartment to get some extra serving trays. That left the two of them to occupy each other.
"So," she started. "How's rehab?"
"It's good," James answered.
"You're talking much better."
"Yeah."
"But not very talkative."
He shrugged.
"Alright, well, I am, so you're going to have to keep up."
Penelope grilled him. She asked about his and Emily's past and why he chose her to be the donor. His answer made her like him a little more.
"She was the best woman I knew. Still is."
"Well, that's Emily. Selfless and absolutely amaze-balls." She looked around, knowing she was going into more sensitive territory. "And she's an amazing mom to Nate."
"She is."
"I'm just sad she didn't get to be his mom the whole time." Her tone and the narrowed glace let him know it was a bit of a scolding.
"I've made mistakes. She's not perfect either," James defended.
"Nobody's perfect James, but you chose her and then denied her. I've known her many years now, post you and Nate years. She has been through so much and Nate has brought her such joy… I guess, what's past is past, but I don't want to see her hurt again. Just know if she is, and I find you're the reason, I can do things. Not physical things, but I can do things that will make you regret it," she said, in complete seriousness.
He swallowed thickly.
"But we're going to make sure that doesn't happen, right?"
"Right," James agreed.
"Don't mess with a good thing, James. That's my advice. Emily is great with Nate and Nate relies on her. He loves her. She's not pushing you out of his life, she's just giving him more of what you give him. More love, more comfort, more family. That's not a bad thing."
He said nothing.
"Now that that conversation is out of the way, let's talk eggs. Did you have plans with the rest of them? I told Emily about them, too, you know."
"Vince and I," he said, clearing his throat, "We always wanted Nate to have siblings, especially with the life we were living where it was often just the three of us. We wanted him to have friends. There's no better friend than a sibling."
Penelope agreed, though, sometimes it was the siblings a person chose rather than blood.
"We planned to try one more time for a kid once we go resettled in the house."
"And now? What are you going to do with them now?"
He shrugged. "I don't know. That's something I should talk about with Emily, I guess." Though he wasn't much thinking about it at all.
"Good answer," Penelope approved.
Their conversation become much lighter after that, but it wasn't the last heavy conversation James had that night. After dinner and dessert were served, Emily and Penelope were in the kitchen cleaning. Hotch, having avoided James for most of the day, decided to sit down next to him and clear the air.
"It's nice to see you doing so well, James," Hotch said.
"Are you sure about that?" James hissed.
"I am. I don't understand what your problem is with me, but let's put it behind us."
"I told Emily I wouldn't start anything with you and that I'd be civil, so can you just walk away."
"I'm not looking to start anything."
"No, you're just looking to play father to my son."
"I'm not looking to do that either," Hotch told him. "Nate is a great kid, and I love being around him. I even like helping him, but I don't want to be his father. He has you."
"Then stay out of his life."
"I can't do that either. I'll never be his father, but I will be someone he can count on and someone he can go to when he needs it. I'm not taking your place, but I have my own role in his life. Whether you like it or not, that is what happened. It's where we're at."
"You're right, I don't have to like it. And I don't."
"That's fine, but I know you'll eventually accept it and see that it's good for him to have as many people as he can around to support him."
"He has me."
"He does. But you're not a one-man army. He needs more than just you."
James didn't say anything, just shook his head.
"For the record, Emily and I are not a couple. Nor has she ever used Nate to get to me. She wouldn't do that."
"I know," he admitted. "I just don't like that you're the one there for my son. He talks about all the things you and Emily do with him. He considers your son his brother. This isn't what it's supposed to be like," he gritted.
"Maybe not, but life rarely is how we expect it. What's important is that he's happy and healthy. That says a lot after all he has been through. I hope that, whatever comes up and whatever happens next, you'll remember that. Emily has done well for him. Don't ruin that for them or for yourself. You owe her more than you realize, and, the sad thing is, she'll never collect."
"You care about her," James said.
"Of course. We've been through a lot together and I've watched her go through even more. We're all protective of each other."
"I picked up on that," he said.
"With her, I think it's worse. We've come close to losing her a time or two. So, fighting against her puts an army against you, and the one that will get hurt the most is Nate. No one wants that."
"No…"
"Let's put whatever is between us, behind us, and move on. We both care about Emily and Nate. Let that be common ground and allow us to move forward. Can you do that?"
Sighing, still not completely happy, James replied, "I can try. And I guess I should thank you for helping my son."
"No thanks necessary. Just keep working hard. Things are already getting better."
He nodded and then Hotch excused himself, off to sneak another piece of pie.
All in all, James' stay with them went much better than expected, but Emily was sure the drop off wasn't going to be as smooth. She opted to have Nate stay with Hotch while they drove back, lying and telling James that they had plans. Nate and James said their goodbyes that morning, and Emily drove him back, the custody stuff in her purse for the ride.
Settled again in his room, James said, "Thanks for letting me come for Thanksgiving."
"I hope you had a good time."
"I did. It was… So full of life with your friends. Nate was happier than I've seen him in a while."
"He's doing so well."
"He is… I'm sad that I'm only just being a part of his life again. I… I was wrong to push him away, but I thought it was what was best."
"I know." Emily sat down, clutching her purse. "Maybe we can do it for a weekend here and there. And Christmas, maybe."
"That would be great. Yes."
"Good."
Emily gave a tight-lipped smile before looking away.
"What's going on?"
"What do you mean?"
"You look like you have something you want to talk about but don't know if you really want to."
She nodded. "I do… On both counts. There's something we need to discuss."
"Ok. Talk to me."
Emily began by restating what she already told him about the house and stuff. He told her she didn't need to tell him that again.
"I talked with my lawyer."
"What?"
"… About Nate."
"What about Nate?"
"About what happens next, with him…"
"What happens next?"
"Eventually, you're going to get out of here and live somewhere that's not with me. I'm not prepared to lose Nate in my life."
His eyes narrowed suspiciously, waiting for the ball to drop.
"I asked him – my lawyer – to come up with a custody arrangement I think we can both live with."
"You did what?!"
He was already livid. All he heard was custody and he assumed he knew the rest. Emily tried to explain that it was a fifty-fifty split. She tried to tell him that there were stipulations for him, conditions that she knew he would be questionable about… None of what she said registered. All he saw were custody papers in his hand and his once friend looking pitiful in front of him.
"Get out. Get out of my room. What the hell was this? Were you letting me spend time with Nate just to soften the blow? Now you want to take him from me?"
"I don't want to take him from you. That's what that says."
"Just get out."
"Look at the papers, James. There's a lawyer on staff. Talk to her."
"I said get out," he yelled.
"Please read it over. You'll see it's fair." Head down, long sigh passing her lips, Emily walked out. She wished it went better.