Chapter 43: The No Good Day

Christmas and New Year behind them, Emily wanted some alone time with Nate before he went back to school the upcoming Monday. So, the day after New Year, she and Nate drove the two hours to Shenandoah National Park to stay at a mountain resort. Their time was limited, but they made the most of it.

The first thing they did was rent a set of skis each and dress in their snow gear. They went to the bunny slope first, so that Emily could give Nate the basics before they hit the actual mountain.

Nate was tentative at first. It was new, and he was a little nervous about the potentially dangerous, situation, but Emily cheered him on. She gave him the fundamentals and showed him the ropes, even going down the slope a few times to demonstrate. Really, she just wanted to show him it didn't have to be a death trap. He was prepared, and that was all he needed to succeed.

"What do you think, Nate? Ready to give it a try?"

He didn't look sure, at all, but he didn't want to seem like a baby. Emily could tell he was struggling with that.

"You can say no. You don't have to do this if you don't want. We can go inside. I thought this was what you wanted, though. Was I wrong?"

He shook his head. "I want to learn. I want to do it."

"Ok, then when you're ready. I'll go down right beside you. Ok?"

"Alright," he agreed.

"On the count of three?"

He nodded.

"1… 2… 3… Go," Emily counted off before watching him take the plunge and heading down the slope right behind him.

She witnessed the look of triumph on his face, his smile growing as they met at the bottom.

"You did so good," Emily cheered.

"It was awesome," he said.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Let's do it again."

"Alright. You first."

Emily and Nate spent a little more time on the practice slopes before graduating to something bigger, eventually hitting the major slopes before it was time to go. They only managed a few runs, but it was worth it.

"You did so great today," Emily told Nate as they warmed up with some cocoa and a roaring fire in their room.

"I had a lot of fun. Can we do this again someday?"

"I hope so, Nate. Maybe we can go up to Vermont next."

"Cool."

They spent the rest of the weekend moving from skiing to snowboarding. Emily wanted him to choose which he liked best. Of course, it was snowboarding. He was no natural, but he picked up things quickly and didn't mind falling as he learned. That made him a good student in this case. Thankfully, no one sustained any major injuries. There were a few bumps and bruises, but that was to be expected. Most importantly, they had an amazing time, and Emily learned that her knee was back to her standards. It could take a beating and be fine. It made her feel better. Chasing bad guys may not have been in her future anymore, but that didn't mean she didn't want to be at the same abilities she was when that was a possibility.

Sadly, that short trip to the mountains ended much too quickly, and it was time for them to get back in the swing of things. The semester was starting up, and Nate was already back to school that week. Time was moving too fast for them.

Not long after they returned from the slopes, Emily was taking James to look at places to live. He was… difficult to say the least. He had unrealistic expectations that he was foisting onto an apartment. He wanted perfection in ways that just didn't exist.

"It's an apartment, not plastic surgery. It doesn't need to be completely perfect," Emily hissed, tired and worn from the long day apartment hunting. She was so over it.

"It needs to be right, Emily. This is going to be the first time ever that it will be me and Nate living alone."

"Part of the time," Emily wanted to say. She didn't.

"It needs to be homey and comfortable."

"Every single place that we saw except for that one that looked like it could be an old asylum, fits that bill. Try again. What's the problem?"

"I'm nervous."

"Why?"

"I've never done this without Vince. We spent years building a home together, and now I have to do it on my own."

"You're not on your own, James. It's going to be different, and it's going to get hard, but Nate will always be there and, despite what I've said, I am here too."

"Thanks…"

"But can we please stop apartment hunting? We've been to ten places today. I have work to get done and I want to be home before Nate and Jack."

"I've seen enough… I actually really liked the second place."

Emily rolled her eyes. Of course, he did…

"We can come back and look at it with Nate this weekend if you want."

"Sounds good," James agreed. "I think he'll like it."

"Me too. It's right between our place and his school, so it would work out well, I think."

"Yeah."

He still seemed complacent, but they didn't look at very many other places after that.

Emily dropped him back off at the rehab and checked in with the doctor before leaving. She was working with the staff to help find physical therapists and occupational therapists to help with James' continued care once he was in his own place.

Honestly, it felt like a whole lot more work for Emily, but she was willing to do it. For Nate, she would, and Nate was excited that his father would be closer and more in his life than he had been. That didn't mean Emily was looking forward to anything about it expect for Nate being happy.

Because of that, she took care of everything. She set up meetings with realtors and brokers, took him on apartment tours, negotiated deals when they came about… Everything.

It was exhausting at times. That didn't stop her.

"Nate," Emily said to him that Friday after a long day of grading the first assignments. "I know this is supposed to be the weekend we drive up to visit your dad…"

"We're not?" he assumed.

"Not exactly. Tomorrow morning, we're going to pick him up and then we're going to go apartment hunting."

He made a face.

"I know it's not exactly the fun day you wanted, but it does mean that your dad is one step closer to being around more."

That cheered him up.

"Your dad and I already saw a couple and narrowed it down, plus we have a few more we wanted to see. Your dad says you get the final say. We want you to be comfortable there, so if you don't like it, say that. Ok?"

"I can do that."

"Good."

"Can we at least get ice cream after?"

"It's January. Isn't it too cold for ice cream?"

"It's never too cold for ice cream."

"We'll see. How about that?"

"It'll do," he pouted.

"Go do your homework. I'm ordering pizza."

"Pizza?"

"And we can make cookies after dinner."

"Score," he said as he ran off.

Emily placed the order and the two had a nice evening. Simple, which was what she liked these days. After dinner, Emily checked over his homework and went through the school notices. It seemed like he always came home with half a tree's worth of paper.

"Looks like you have a show going on at school," Emily said to Nate.

"Yup. It's an assembly."

"What's it about?"

Nate explained what he knew, but it wasn't a whole lot. Still, Emily signed the slip that allowed him to attend and told him he could tell her all about it after.

"Can we make cookies now?"

"Sure. What kind do you want to make?"

"Peanut butter."

"Ok. Go grab the ingredients. I'm going to get the bowls."

Mother and son made a few dozen cookies, packaging some up for James to take back with him after their day together. After cleaning up their mess, they settled in for a movie, popcorn, and quality time. Emily gently coaxed him to bed once he started dozing off.

"Come on, kiddo. We're going to have a busy day tomorrow."

"But the movie isn't over."

"We'll pick up right where we left off."

"Ok," he reluctantly agreed.

Once he was in bed, Emily called it a night too. She hoped it wouldn't be but was planning on the next day being long and tedious. Apartment hunting once again was not high on her list of things she liked doing… Didn't even make the list.

She woke Nate up bright and early, so they could drive over to the rehab and all go out and get breakfast together. They ended up at a pancake house not too far from the rehab and spent about an hour there.

"We should get going," Emily said. "Our walk through is in about 45 minutes."

James nodded. "Ready, Nate?"

"Yup. Ready."

"Great. Get your coat on."

They were back on the road just a few moments later and made it there in plenty of time. The first place was not good for them. While it was nice, it was way too big and way too expensive. So, they moved on.

The third place they went to was the same apartment that Emily and James had already been through. It was two bedrooms, small, but big enough, and was on the ground floor, which was what James needed. It made things easier for him.

It wasn't fancy or over the top, but it was in a decent neighborhood that had a convenient location. All they needed was for Nate to like it too. So, they took him through the apartment and walked around the neighborhood a bit.

"Nate, did you like any of the places we saw today?" James asked.

Nate shrugged.

"No?"

"I don't know. They were ok."

"Just ok?" Emily asked him.

"Well, I really like our apartment," Nate admitted.

"That's good, but your dad needs one for the two of you. Did you think you could live in any of the places we saw today?"

Almost shyly, Nate shrugged and looked away.

Emily wanted to ask what was wrong, but feared the answer might upset James and ruin the day, so she said, "James, why don't Nate and I talk for a minute and then we can decide whether we want to keep looking?"

"No," James firmly stated.

"No?"

"No," he said again. "We are both his parents. What you have to say, you can say in front of me."

Holding her tongue, Emily simply nodded. "Nate, what's going on, kid?"

Looking away from his father, he quietly said, "I… I like living with you. I love my dad, and I'm happy we're going to see each other a lot more, but I like living with you."

"And I love living with you, Nate. That's not going to change. I'm just going to have to share you, now. We got a few months together, and they were some of my favorite months ever, but it would be selfish to keep you all to myself."

"But… But I lived with my dads for years without you, and I don't want to lose you now."

Emily smiled, and put a hand on his cheek, meeting his eyes. "You are never going to lose me. Ever." She pulled him in for a quick hug. "All we're looking at today is a place that's comfortable for you and your dad when you visit with him."

"Ok… Then, I guess I liked the last one. There's an arcade near it and my friend lives close, too."

"Ok. That's great, Nate."

Emily looked to James. He nodded. That was to be their apartment. While the two of them spent some time together, Emily dropping them off at a nearby play zone, Emily hung out in the car and called the leasing agent to secure the apartment.

By the end of the day, they were signing papers and knew the place would be ready by the time James was through with rehab. The doctor said the beginning of February. That didn't leave much time, but the place wasn't in bad shape and they could easily shop for it. A lot of his stuff was still in storage, and Emily was going to allow Nate to take a few things from his room if he wanted. So, it wouldn't take long to make it feel like a home, she hoped.

Emily finished up with her calls and had everything set, giving the guys a few hours alone before she joined them.

"Hey," Emily said as she sat at the table across from James. "Where's Nate?"

"Winning enough tickets to get you the pink giraffe."

"Pink?"

"No, I don't really know what color. He just said he wanted to win you something."

"Sweet boy," Emily said.

James nodded and replied, "Do everything you needed?"

"Yup. The apartment will be ready by the second week of February. They don't allow you to choose the paint, but said it was recently painted and they're upgrading the appliances this week."

While Nate was still off playing, his eyes catching Emily and waving before he went back to the game, Emily took the time to go over the details of the rental agreement and a quick overview of the money situation. There were some insurance things they also needed to go over, but that could wait until they were alone, and Emily could say all she needed to say without the potential little ears eavesdropping.

Emily wanted James to be as prepared as possible for the transition. Neither could afford full time help for him, and, since he was more than capable of living on his own, he would have to understand what it would be like. It wouldn't be like he was used to. He'd truly be on his own. They would see how it went, and how he dealt with running a household without Vince around.

Emily predicted he'd have some trouble, but, ultimately, would be ok. Time would tell, and with Nate around more often, she could be wrong.

They stayed there for another hour or so before bringing James back to the rehab. They would shop for the apartment during the next visit, and then, hopefully, James would be moving in.

As that date grew closer, Emily knew she had to sit down with Nate and discuss the changes that were coming. He was aware that there was a custody arrangement and that he would be living with her sometimes and his dad other times, but she wanted to really talk about the logistics.

Nate seemed to get it, and Emily made sure he knew that even when he was with James, she was only a phone call away. He was comforted by that. He just wished they could all be together at the same time, all the time, and still be happy, but that didn't work the first time. He would make do.

Things were looking up for their family in his eyes. He was still doing well in school. He enjoyed spending time with his new friends, and Jack and Hotch came over all the time or they went over to their apartment. They had a good thing going.

Emily felt like that too. She settled into the semester easily. She found she enjoyed it better than she had when she started because she was there from the beginning. She was able to profile her students and get to know them as the classes went by. It was exciting, and she felt lucky with the bunch of kids she got.

There were a couple of students that she felt were incredibly promising and even approached her with questions and asking her about potentially becoming their advisor. She was honored, to say the least. Things were busy there, but she loved the job more each day.

Despite all the good, there were some bumps along the way.

James was done with rehab by the first week of February, a few days before the apartment was ready, so he stayed with Nate and Emily. Emily was reluctant but okayed it. Elizabeth, to save Emily the money and hassle, hired movers to get the place set up, and they were going to do that the following day, but they still had to survive three days together without fighting.

Somehow, mostly by creating invisible boundaries, they managed with no major issues, and no bickering at all in front of Nate. Emily called that progress. She sometimes even ventured to say it was effective co-parenting. A stretch, but not totally inaccurate.

Emily still worried, though, that James would lose his temper with Nate. While he had a better handle on his outbursts, they weren't entirely in his control and never would be. It was a fear she shared with her gal pals.

"Are you worried he'd hit Nate?" JJ cautiously asked.

"I don't know… That's the point. I've seen how bad the outbursts can be, but they were rarely directed at Nate. I was always in between them. When I'm not there, if he loses it, there's only Nate around to take it."

Again, cautiously approaching the subject, JJ asked, "Has he… hit you before?"

"He better not have," Penelope added.

"You know everything that has happened," Emily said. "I just worry."

"Emily is a mama bear now," Pen said, practically awing. "She worries about her cub with ferocity."

JJ nodded. "You said he has been better with the outbursts, though. Right?"

"Yes, but that doesn't stop the worry."

"Of course not, but," JJ continued, "I think that Nate will be ok. James may lose his temper. Maybe he can't help that, but he has the tools to work through it and Nate knows he can talk to you if it gets too much."

"I know."

"It'll be fine."

"I know that too, I just… I'm going to miss him when he's not with me."

"Let me know when that happens. You can borrow my boys and give Will and I a night off."

"Or call me," Pen said, "And we can have a girls' night in."

"Thank you. I might take you both up on that."

"That's why we offered."

It felt good to just talk her fears out and spend some time with them. It seemed like it had been a while since the last time they just hung out. They saw each other for the holidays, sure, but that was everyone. This, however, was girl time.

"So, when is your first weekend without Nate?"

"Next week," Emily said.

It came much too soon, and it wasn't the best day for her either.

The apartment was ready, and they helped James settle in just a few days after he started staying with them. They spent the day with him and got things comfortable there. After, Emily and Nate had about a week to get used to being away from each other again.

It was a hard thought for them. They had grown to rely on the other's company and found comfort in that. Since being in Emily's care, going through all they had, and finding out that she was his mother, they hadn't really spent that much time apart. They liked it that way. They had grown close and were happy with their relationship.

The separation, however brief, put them both on edge as the day grew closer. That Friday was a day from hell. For mother and son, it seemed like a rotten day all around.

They woke up late, both yearning to stay in bed as long as possible, but even the urgency wasn't enough to make them want to get up and face the day. When Emily finally saw what time it was, she jumped up and yelled out to wake Nate, telling him to get up when she didn't see him anywhere.

There was barely time to get dressed and eat. Nate had missed the bus, so Emily had to drive him. Hotch called when he realized Nate wasn't at the bus stop, but Emily missed that call. She had to deal with the judging looks from the other parents that were "visiting" the office staff.

She hurried along, kissing Nate on the cheek, wishing him a good day, and slipping into traffic hoping to make it on time to her morning class. She didn't, of course, showing nearly twenty minutes late and learning that, that meant students could leave. At least that was the rule that seemed to common knowledge for the students.

Most of the students stayed, thankfully, and since this was one of the harder introductory classes to the field, she gave the ones that were still there extra credit.

"I'm so sorry I'm late guys."

They seemed more understanding than the rest of the world, which Emily was thankful for. It was short lived, however, when it came time for them to turn in their papers. She said one to two pages. Some of them decided that meant please write a book. Since she liked to do quick turnaround, that meant her weekend was now spoken for.

"At least I'll have something to focus on other than missing Nate," she said, trying to find the silver lining.

Her classes, seemed to drag for the rest of the day, and an influx of students decided it was a good time to come to office hours. Usually, after her second class, she had an hour reserved for students before she headed home. Most of the time, she was done early enough to have a late lunch in her own apartment.

Not that day. Her office hours went on until there was likely just enough time to get home before Nate. On the way to the car, she spilled the cold remnants of her coffee all over her blouse when a student ran into her.

"Great," she huffed, but thought nothing of it. There were spare clothes in the car if she couldn't wait to change. She just wanted to get home.

Unfortunately, that still wasn't happening.

As she neared the lot where she parked, she heard a loud smack of metal against metal. It was like she was watching her day in slow motion as the red coupe smashed into her rear bumper.

"You have to be fucking kidding me…" she cried, running closer to assess the damage as the other car just drove off. "What is wrong with people?!"

She cursed under her breath as she wrote down what she saw of the license plate as the car drove off. It wasn't much, but she had color, make, and a partial if she wanted to file a report.

"Who drives off like that?"

She would have let it go if they had stop, but now she was angry. They had prevented her from spending more time with her son before he was off to his father's.

"Asshole."

Emily sighed and pulled out her phone, pushing in the speed dial command.

"Hotch, are you home?"

"Emily? Yeah? I'm home. Is everything ok?"

"I'm running late, and I don't want Nate to be alone at the apartment. Can you tell him to come to your apartment to hang out until I get there? I'm going to send him a message on his phone, but I just…"

"Calm down, Em. Absolutely. He can come over."

"Thanks."

Worried and curious, he asked, "Are you ok?"

"Been a day."

"Want to talk about it?"

"When I get home, maybe. I have to go. I'll be home as soon as I can."

"Take the time you need."

Her car wasn't too damaged, but it was clearly hit. The bumper was scratched, dented, and slightly dislodged.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid," she whined, looking up to the sky, groaning as if asking God why, and why today.

Of course, the cloudy skies had to let loose then, as the rain started falling.

The day was never going to end. It was conspiring against her to prevent her from seeing Nate at all before James commandeered him.

"Just freaking awesome," she whimpered, rushing into the car, slamming the door as she did.