Chapter 50: Forward
"Why do I feel like I'm not going to like where this is heading?" Hotch asked Penelope.
She was up to something. Meddling, he was sure, just like she had been with the boys, and he didn't like how that turned out, so he wasn't sure he wanted to even let this one play out, but he'd give her a chance.
Penelope gave him a diabolical smile and asked, "How do you feel about internet dating?"
The look he gave her said it all, yet she managed to get him to agree to it. He wasn't really into the staged meeting, swiping, or reading profiles that were probably faked just to see if two people might work for a date. That was all it would probably be – just one date.
"Come on. You'll like it. Emily's doing it," she said, knowing that would pique his interest.
She was right. That was all it took. Hook, line, and sinker. His posture shifted, and he was suddenly much more involved in the conversation.
"Emily's doing it?"
He knew about Garcia setting her up. He did not know that she was choosing to actually take part in it now…
"Yup. She's all set up to use it now without my help. Soon, you could be too."
"You've already sold me, Penelope," Hotch said, a tone in his voice she didn't quite recognize. He couldn't believe he was saying yes to this, but if Emily was doing it, then so was he.
Her eyes lit up. "Oh yay! I did?"
"You did. Don't overdo it."
"Wonderful. I'll be at your place tomorrow and we'll put this thing together."
"That quickly?"
"Why waste time? Besides, I already have a profile made, just need to make it active," she said and left on that note as to not give him a chance to change his mind.
"What did I get myself in to?" he asked the empty hall.
He was already feeling like it was a mistake, but there was no turning back now. Penelope had him in a verbal contract and, if he backed out, she'd give him hell. Shaking off the feeling of dread, he headed back toward the kitchen where everyone was hanging out.
When he walked in, the group was scattered. Spencer and Derek were conversing over a plate of snacks. Dave was at the oven pulling out some food. Penelope was off doing who knew what, and JJ was with Emily, looking at something on her phone.
He moved closer to them, thinking that was his best bet for conversation and he hoped that by inserting himself there, Emily would try to treat him more normally. He really wanted things to be ok between them. She wanted the same, but she was also determined to prove Penelope wrong about her feelings.
"Do you think he's cute?" Hotch heard Emily ask JJ, showing her the picture.
"He's adorable," JJ replied.
"Really?"
"You don't think so?"
Emily scrunched her nose.
"Well, what are you looking for?" JJ asked.
"I don't know. I guess someone stable, good job, ok with kids…"
"And looks?"
"I don't really have a preference."
"Yes you do."
"No…"
"Every guy you've dated had brown hair, except for maybe Clyde and it's unclear to this day what your relationship with him actually is or was."
"Friends," Emily stated.
"Right, but friends like you and I are friends or friends like you and Hotch are friends?"
"JJ…"
"Emily…"
"The latter," Emily gave in, a slight flush to her cheeks. "But still a friendship," she made clear.
"Sure. Sure." JJ pointed to the screen. "He's cute though. Not your type."
"I'm starting to think no one is my type," Emily said.
Hotch heard enough and not wanting them to go into other topics, he spoke up. "What are you guys up to over here?"
"Just chatting. Emily's dating."
"Oh," he said, eyes widening. "You are?"
"No… Kind of," Emily replied.
"Me too," he said.
"Really?"
JJ became a bystander to their back and forth. Emily asked about his date and he asked about hers. Neither was forthcoming or comfortable with the situation. It got to the point where JJ excused herself to let them keep up their talk without her. She didn't want to watch her friends do whatever dance they were doing. It felt intrusive, voyeuristic. Their foreplay wasn't fun for anyone, even them.
"So, Garcia got to you too?" Emily said when it was just the two of them.
"Yes."
"I think… I think this will be good for us."
"In what way?"
"We'll get out there. Who knows, maybe we'll find the right people for us."
"Maybe," he agreed.
Or maybe we'll learn what we have right in front of us is real… They both thought it, though neither was in a place to accept it.
"I'm… happy for you."
"Say it like you mean it," he told her.
"I really am. I think this is what we need. We need to do normal adult things and have normal adult relationships. I'll… I'll date and you'll date and it will be… good."
It sounded forced to both their ears.
"Good," he said. "If you ever need a babysitter, I'm your man."
"Same goes for you."
"And if a date goes wrong or you need an out," Hotch started.
"I know the man to call, and you know the woman."
"But if a date goes well… I don't really want to know about it."
"Hotch…"
"You don't want to hear about it from me either, do you?"
"If you're happy… Yeah."
His eyes narrowed, but he took it in stride.
"You're lying. But, ok."
"Ok," she parroted, a tension brewing between them again.
"Ok non-lovebirds, dessert is ready, and the queen wants to eat, so quit the canoodling and come eat so we can get playing."
Saved by the queen…
"I guess we've been summoned."
"I guess so," Hotch agreed.
He held his hand out to help her up, which she accepted and thanked him for. As they went to join the others, he quietly said, "He's not the one."
She knew what he was referring to, and she knew he was right, but that just made her want to search for someone who could be. He wanted the same thing. Though he still wanted to have an honest and open conversation with Emily about their feelings and work through whatever came out of that kiss – whether it was determining that it was a one-time thing or discussing how to proceed – she didn't seem to want that. While he was all for pursuing wants and dreams, when a woman said no, that meant no. He wasn't going to force her to do anything.
They were both a little too out of touch with their emotional side, and considered that, maybe, getting out there, experiencing normal adult things like dating, and getting out of their little bubble, would reveal exactly what they were feeling. They'd either find something great or see just what had always been in front of them.
He gave her some space even when they were together. Neither forced conversation, but they didn't ignore each other either. Not for the rest of the night or the following days either. They truly meant it when they said they didn't want to lose their friendship.
No matter what, they meant a lot to each other.
That was why, come the end of the night, Hotch reverted back to his complete gentlemanly persona.
"His drinks are strong, huh?" Hotch asked Emily.
"What?"
"You drank one of Reid's cocktails."
"Oh. Yeah. I did. Packed quite the punch."
"Do you want a ride home?"
"But… My car."
"I can take you back here in the morning to get it."
"Didn't you drink, too?"
"Not for the last two hours and only one drink before that. I also said absolutely not to one of Reid's creations. I learned that lesson. Like a science experiment gone wrong. It wasn't pretty."
"I bet."
"So, ride?"
"Yes, please."
By that point, late at night, half the team was passed out. Garcia, Reid, and Derek were cuddled up on the couch together, the two men on either side while Penelope was sprawled out over them. JJ took off, heading home to her family. Dave had turned in, telling everyone they were more than welcome to stay and even continue to have fun, but he was an old man and needed to get to bed.
That left the two of them. Hotch was careful to lock up as they left, making sure Emily got into the care safely. His experience taught him that Reid's concoctions often hit unexpectedly. They went down smooth and sweet, tasting more like juice than alcohol, but there was a deceivingly high alcohol content that snuck up on a person and pulled them in.
"Things are a little dizzy," Emily said as she leaned on the car.
"Yeah. That's why you say no when he offers to make drinks."
"Penelope said they were delicious."
"Penelope is passed out on the couch, face down in Derek's lap. She isn't the shining example of what to do in this situation."
"I'm gonna feel this in the morning."
"Most definitely."
"Can you just kill me now? I don't want to wake up tomorrow."
"Come on, Em. Let's get you in the car."
"Thanks," she mumbled as he put a hand over her head, blocking her from hitting it as she got in.
"Buckle," he told her.
Secured, he drove them off. About midway, Emily said she left her purse… "And my coat, but I don't really need that, except my," she made a weird hand gesture, "keys were in there."
"So you have no keys?"
"I can break in."
"Or you can just stay at my place."
"I couldn't."
"You can and should."
"But…"
"Let's not argue," he stopped her thought. "Stay."
"Mmmkay," she sleepily responded. "What do you think Reid put in that drink?"
"Everything," Hotch joked.
"Probably… Everything. It was yummy though. Glad I only had one."
"On top of wine and whatever else Dave made you."
"So true. So much booze. He always has the best selection," she said, slurring her words.
"We're almost home."
She said nothing, her head already lulling to the side, leaning against the window. It didn't take long after that before Hotch heard the soft snores and her calm breaths. He laughed and continued driving.
Getting to the apartment, he found his spot and got out of the car. When he tried to wake her, she wasn't particularly receptive, groaning and saying no.
"A little longer," she mumbled. "I promise I'll get up."
"Of course you're not going to make this easy," Hotch said, unbuckling her.
He tried to wake her once more, but just got more of the same. Finally, he decided to just do what he could. His hand slipped behind her around her waist as he pulled her up out of the car. This woke her enough to get her moving, but she still rested heavily on him.
"We going to bed?" she asked.
"You are, yes. Almost there, alright?"
"Mmhmm," she grumbled, leaning into him.
She rested her head on his shoulder as they went up the elevator to his apartment, and she barely let go when he tried to open the door.
"You're clingy when you've had too much to drink."
"Just 'cause I'm tired, and I miss Nate, and Jack and you."
"Me too, Emily," he said. "Come on. Off to bed. Alright."
"You too?"
"Yes. I'm going to get to bed too. It's late."
"'Kay."
"Do you want to change? I have a shirt and some sleep pants you can use."
"I can sleep in my underwear," she said, way too nonchalantly for his liking.
"No," he responded.
"Ok," she said as he sat her on his bed.
He went to go get her some clothes to change into, but when he turned back around, her jeans were off, and she was laying on his bed half exposed.
"Seriously," he whispered to himself. She was not going to make this easy at all. "So, a no to the pants?"
She shook her head.
"Hotch?"
"Yeah?"
"This isn't my bed," she said.
"No, it's mine."
"Oh… we're sharing?"
"I was going to stay in Jack's room."
"But then I'd feel bad."
"Don't worry about it."
"Stay."
"I don't think that's a good idea."
"To talk," she said, laying deeper into the pillows. "We always talk."
"Not tonight. Tonight, you should sleep this off."
"Please?"
Sighing, without much argument, he gave in. He turned the dim light off and quickly put on his sleep pants before getting into bed beside her. They laid side by side like there was an invisible fence between them. There was no touching at all and plenty of space between them.
"I had fun tonight," Emily said, her voice muffled by the pillows as she laid on her side facing away from him.
"Me too, once you stopped acting like it was a pain to be my partner."
"Not a pain," she grumbled, a mix of alcohol and sleep loosening her lips. "Just hard to fight this."
"Fight what?" he asked.
"I need you, Hotch. I need you in my life, and I'm trying so hard not to."
"It's ok to need me. I need you in my life too."
"Not like me," she mumbled, her voice still laced with sleepiness. "I don't like being dependent. Sometimes, with you, it feels like I am. I need to stand on my own for Nate."
"Emily," he said, sitting up. "You're not dependent on anyone. If anything, you're the most independent woman I know, and Nate is learning that same strength."
"Then why do I feel this way?"
"I don't know Emily. What I do know is that you should ignore whatever Jessica said."
Right now, she ignored what he said and told him, "I'm sorry for avoiding you."
"It's ok. We'll move past it."
"Yeah."
"Go to sleep," he told her. "You can barely get a full sentence out."
"Night Hotch."
"Goodnight, Emily."
He took a deep breath and laid back into the bed, waiting for her to fall asleep. Once her breathing slowed and evened out, he pulled the throw blanket off the chair on the other side of the room and threw it over her. She fell asleep over the covers and didn't want her to get cold. After, he got in bed himself, trying to find a comfortable position.
When morning rolled around, he woke to Emily cuddled up beside him, head on his chest and arm draped over him. He slept in a little longer than usual and didn't want to move. He didn't want her to wake up and be embarrassed, so he got up to make some coffee and breakfast before waking Emily. He let her sleep in while he enjoyed his first cup, but laid out a bottle of water and some Ibuprofen in case she was feeling a bit hungover.
Fortunately, Emily managed to drink plenty of water during game night, so though she was tipsy then, her hangover was barely there this morning.
"How are you feeling?" Hotch asked when she came into the kitchen… with pants and a flush to her cheeks.
"Fine."
"Headache?"
"Manageable."
"Food?"
She scrunched her nose.
"Maybe later. What about coffee?"
"Yes please."
He grabbed the other mug, her mug, from the counter and poured.
"Black, one Splenda."
She took a sip and moaned. "Yup. That's the stuff." She took another gulp. "Thanks."
"You're welcome."
"So… I woke up with no pants on," she shyly said.
"You were very insistent that you were too hot for pants. I tried to get you to change into the sleepwear I had for you, but you weren't having it."
"I don't remember that, but I don't think I drank enough to make me blackout."
"You were half asleep and tipsy."
"I guess. I remember us talking, but for the life of me, I can't remember about what," she honestly told him.
That was disappointing to him. It was a decent conversation. Honest.
"Don't worry about it. I promise you said nothing embarrassing. We just talked."
"About?"
"Nothing really. It was just a normal talk. Like the old days."
"You mean before I turned into a giant baby and ran from things?"
"Yes," he responded.
"I guess I haven't really been myself lately, not completely. It's just… Since Nate has come into my life, I've felt different. There are things I'm afraid of that I've never been afraid of before and there are things that I don't know how to deal with because I don't have the same reckless abandon I may have once had. It's all new even when it's the same."
"Welcome to parenthood," he said, offering an understanding smile.
"So, I'm trying to navigate my weird feelings about everything, and sometimes, it seems, they make me act less like myself."
"I've noticed."
"But one thing I do know is that I don't want things to change between us, not completely."
"But you said…"
"I know what I said, and I was wrong, mostly. We can't rely on each other completely because we both need to be able to stand on our own, and I'm working on that, but that doesn't mean our boys need to be punished because I'm out of sorts."
"So, what are you getting at?"
"I like having dinner with you guys. I like being outnumbered by you guys. I don't want to take that away from them."
"So we can do dinners?"
"Not everyday, but yes. We can do dinners."
"Weekend activities?"
"Of course. We'll take turns going to soccer and baseball games. Nate and I will come watch Jack, you and Jack can come watch Nate."
"Sounds good."
"Things need to change a little, but we shouldn't change everything, and I'm sorry I tried."
"It's already forgiven."
"And I think it's good that you're going to try dating…"
Her voice lacked some conviction, but she did mean it. He wasn't completely thrilled by her sentiments either.
"You deserve to be happy, and it's time we both see what's out there for us," Emily explained. "I meant what I said, too. If you need someone to watch Jack or whatever, I'm your girl."
"Jack's a teen now. I guess I'm going to have to give him some more freedom, but I'm sure we'll both be more comfortable knowing he has you around. Though, I'm sure he'd love another excuse to hang around with you and Nate."
"Speaking of Nate," Emily said, feeling her phone buzz in her pocket. "This is him. Give me a second."
He nodded, and she put the phone to her ear.
"Hi Nate."
"Hi Mom."
"How was your night?"
"It was good. Dad and I ordered food and had ice cream."
"Did you now? I hope there were some veggies in there somewhere."
"Sure," Nate said. "What time are you coming today?"
"Five. Same time as always, Nate."
"But I thought we were going shopping to get my baseball stuff. I need cleats and everything."
"I know you do, and we'll make sure you get everything you need before your practices start. You're all registered and I was told that we'll get your team schedule soon. We can go buy everything next weekend, and, maybe Jack can come too," she looked to Hotch as she spoke. "We can help him get everything he needs for the soccer season. Sound good?"
"Awesome."
"Where's your dad?"
"He's in the shower. We're going to take a walk when he's done."
"Ok. Well, tell Dad I'll talk to him later and have fun, alright? And be careful. I love you Nate. Make sure you don't forget any of your school stuff when I come get you."
"I won't. Love you too."
"Bye, Nate."
"Bye Mom."
Hotch waited for Emily to hang up before speaking, "Inviting us out. That's a big step."
"Shut up. It's not."
"Given the last week, it is."
"If you guys aren't busy, we'd love if you came. I have a whole list of things I need to get him. One of them is a cup, Hotch. How the hell do I know which cup to buy a nine-year-old boy?"
He laughed.
"I think James or I can help you with that. Don't worry."
"I worry. I'm not well-versed in boy things like that. Usually I'm trying to figure out the best way to attack and weaken my male opponents, not trying to protect their family jewels."
"My how times have changed."
"Does Jack have to use one? For soccer?"
"They suggest it as a precaution. Now that he's older and the soccer balls are kicked a little harder, I tell him he should wear it. Just to be safe."
"So… What do I do if he asks how to use it?"
Emily looked at Hotch with an expression that can only be described as horrified. Hotch let out a deep belly laugh. The look was priceless and there was no other natural reaction but to laugh.
"It's not funny," Emily insisted. "I don't know how to do these things."
Her complete panic and lack of knowledge just made it funnier.
"You're mean," she pouted.
"I know. I'm sorry. I really… You should have seen your face."
She rolled her eyes. It was way too funny to Hotch, and she didn't appreciate it. Still wearing a giant smile, Hotch passed her a plate and told her to eat. The pancakes were a little cold, but they would suffice.
"When you're done, I found the key I have to your apartment. You can change and then we can go get your car, and I can be attacked by Garcia."
"That I'd like to see. She's going to smother you with profiles and potential dates."
"That many people aren't going to want to date me."
"Are you kidding? Women will be lining up for the chance."
"We'll see. I'm going to take a quick shower and get ready. Let me know when you want to leave."
She nodded and continued eating while he went to the bathroom. After cleaning up her plate, she followed his lead, took the key, and went to her place to change. She thought about a shower too but decided to hold off. She didn't know Hotch's plans for the day and didn't want to keep him waiting.
Hurrying through her routine, she found a comfortable outfit and quickly changed before heading back to Hotch's. He was already finished with his routine and sitting at the dining table with his tablet reading the news for the day.
"Ready when you are," Emily interrupted.
"One second," he said, finishing up his last sentence of reading before closing the tablet and grabbing his keys.
As they walked to the car, he told her that he let Dave know they were on their way.
"Is everyone still there?"
"Dave said they were still passed out in the same spot. No one moved yet."
"I'll have to grab a picture if they're still like that when we get there… You know, for leverage."
"Sure. Sure."
Emily smiled and got comfortable in the car seat as they took off. Things between them felt better. Conversation was easy like it used to be.
"So, James and I are starting to do the 50/50 custody split soon."
"Really?"
"Yes. We're going to try it next month. Nate will spend Saturday to Friday night with James and I will get him on Tuesday and Thursday afternoons after school. Really, I'm probably just going to be taking him to practice and having dinner with him before bringing him back to James."
"What happens when it's your week? James can't drive. Are you going to take Nate to him?"
"I don't know. I think that's something we're going to have to work out."
"Seems like more work for you."
"For Nate, I don't mind."
"I know. But try to make it work without adding to your full plate."
"I will."
"Good."
Their conversation continued to flow until they got to Dave's. The three weren't awake yet, and Emily did snap a picture before waking them up. Penelope fell to the floor and the boys looked startled.
"Mean," Penelope grumbled.
"Fun," Emily corrected. "Get up. Dave wants his place back."
"Oh, it's tomorrow. Tomorrow's today," Pen said. "Hotch and I get to play!"
She was excited. Emily was less so and, honestly, couldn't get out of there fast enough. She thanked Hotch, said a few quick goodbyes, and was out of there. Hotch and Emily didn't see each other the rest of the day, but things did start to become more routine, excluding their intent search for a romantic partner.
The following weeks were a mess of repairing friendships, starting new relationships, and trying to balance work and kids for Hotch and Emily.
Emily, James, and Nate continued their therapy. The adults did their homework and came up with things they liked and didn't like about each other. Though it made them face some truths and started some issues, it, ultimately, helped them really start to repair their relationship, especially when it helped them get at the root of James' hostility toward Emily. He was insecure about his relationship with Nate. His son was older, different, and he was different too.
"Because she's biologically related to Nate. I'm not. I'm just there."
"Blood means nothing, James," Emily was quick to say. "Nate knows you are his father. It doesn't matter if Vince was the biological dad. He knows who you are, and you will always hold that place in his world."
"It's just, with you now, you have more of a connection with him than I ever could. I think that's part of why I didn't fight Vince when we separated you and Nate. I wanted him to be mine and, while Vince was feeling threatened for other reasons, I was feeling threatened because of that."
"How do you feel now?" Dr. Mangrove asked.
"I still feel that way. It's an internal thing, but I know that Emily isn't trying to ruin anything between Nate and me. I'm slowly learning that," he added. "If anything, she tries to help our relationship. They have their own special relationship and we have ours."
Real progress was made between them during the weeks leading up to the true 50/50 custody split. While things weren't perfect, they really were putting in the effort. The Emily dating thing regressed them a little, because it brought those insecurities about his role in Nate's life back up, but they were still doing therapy, and Nate was eventually brought into it too. They were working through it.
But things were still changing.
Nate, Jack, Emily, and Hotch did their sports shopping as promised. That didn't help James' insecurities, but it was her weekend with Nate, and it needed to get done before the first practice which was that following Tuesday. James understood that and understood that without a car, he wasn't the best option to take him shopping anyway.
Things were getting busy. Tuesday and Thursday were practices, and Sundays were games. Since Jack's schedule was Monday and Wednesday practices and Saturday games, the boys weren't thrilled about how little time they would be spending together, but it hadn't hit them yet.
"They're going to have a hard time not seeing each other all the time, huh?" Emily asked that night after dinner.
They boys were setting up movie and game night while they were chatting.
"It will definitely be different, but that's ok. It's kind of what you wanted before, right? They would have to get used to it anyway. Nate's going to be spending more time at James' apartment."
"I guess."
"But it's hard for you too."
"It is. A weekend without him was hard enough. Now it's a whole week."
"At least you'll know he's coming back to you when the week is up."
"And there are no more years where I'm wondering where he is and how he's doing while he knows nothing about me."
"Big improvement," Hotch said. "You'll be ok. If you get lonely, you can borrow Jack."
"I just might."
Hotch cleared his throat.
"Speaking of… I uh… I have a date tomorrow."
"You do?"
"Yeah… I… We went out during the week, just met for coffee, but it went well, and we want to go out again."
"Oh… That's great."
"So, I was wondering if you'd pop in on Jack. We're doing a late lunch and then going to the movies. She's leaving for a work trip Monday morning and with my work schedule, we wanted to take advantage of the time we had."
"I can… I can check on him for you."
"Great. Thanks."
"No problem. So, you met her through the app Penelope set up?"
"Yeah. Robin works in DC as a consultant on campaigns."
"Politics?" That was surprising to her.
"I know… But she's great. We're getting to know each other. Nothing serious, yet, but maybe."
"I'm… happy for you." She forced a smile. "Really. I am. And, in the honor of full disclosure, I… met someone as well."
"You did?"
"Mmmhmm. His name is Valentin. He works in the language department at Georgetown."
"You work together?"
"Not exactly. We work at the same place, but not together. We met in the language library. One of my students needed help with her French work and I was there with her. He was there too. I found some books that I was interested in and went back the next day. He invited me to lunch. I said yes."
"Didn't need the app after all," he said.
"We had lunch a couple times, met for coffee."
"It's going well then?"
"Yes. I think so. We're still getting to know each other too."
"That's great, Em. I hope it works out."
Both of their sentiments were genuine, and they were happy for each other, but there was more to it. There was sadness too. They both knew that meeting these new people and bringing them into their lives would affect their normal. It also put a screeching halt to whatever may or may not have been potentially happening between them.
The kiss was on their minds, despite attempts to ignore it.
"Tell me more about Robin," Emily suggested, trying to wash away the thoughts.
She learned that Robin, the political consultant, grew up in Wisconsin and moved to DC after college. She was his age, no kids, never married, and funny.
"How does she feel about Jack?"
"Well, she knows I have a son and that he is the most important person in my life, and she seems to understand that, but we'll see as we go out more. Right now, Jack is just a concept. She won't meet him unless we get serious, but eventually, there will be calls and work and things that take away from our time together and that will be the true test. I can't be with someone who doesn't understand that because I don't want to go through the same things I went through with Haley."
"I get it. The job was the reason my dates were just dates and never became more. It's hard. The job takes its toll on you and relationships, but it's worth it, usually, to know that you're making a difference and helping people."
"It is. It's rewarding."
"That's what I miss about it. Don't get me wrong. I love my new job and my new life, but being a part of a team doing work that, while hard, is incredibly rewarding and has those moments when everything just seems to make sense and be so worth all the horror we see… That's what I miss."
"I can always find a place for you."
"Thank you. I appreciate it, but it's still no."
"Had to try," he said. "So, I told you about Robin. Tell me about Valentin."
"He's French," Emily explained. "Here working as a language professor. His main focus is French, but he does French literature, and some Russian as well."
"Seems like your kind of guy."
"I guess he does, yeah. We had lunch the other day completely in French. It was nice to have someone do that with. But, more than that, he is a sarcastic, caring guy. We're seeing where it goes."
"Does he know about Nate?"
"He knows I have a son. He doesn't know the backstory. That seems more like down the road material."
"How does he feel about Nate?"
"He's fine with me having a kid. He has a daughter. She's living in France with her mother, though."
"That has to be tough for him."
"It is, but he sees her whenever he can, and they talk as much as possible. The point is, he gets the kid situation, which I'm happy about. I don't know that we're compatible, but we're finding that out as we go."
"Aren't we all?" He smiled. "We're really doing this… Dating."
"We are. Scary right?"
"Or exciting," Hotch said.
"Both."
"Definitely both."
Emily put her hand in his and squeezed as if to let him know that, no matter what happened, they'd have each other.
"Mom!"
"Dad!"
Both kids yelled for them.
"What's taking so long? I already kicked Nate's butt in Sorry twice," Jack said.
"We're coming," Hotch told him. "Get the cards out. We're scooping the ice cream right now," he lied.
"Do you even have ice cream?" she asked.
"Of course."
"Then I'll get the bowls."
"I'll get the ice cream."
And off they went with their night. It was fun and the tension between them was seemingly gone.
Fast forward a few weeks and those relationships were past the awkward early stages and blossoming toward something else. Hotch had a girlfriend and Emily a boyfriend. Summer was upon them, Nate's birthday came and went, and everything was going fine.
But when things were fine, something was bound to come and ruin it.
Hotch and the team were away on a case. Nate was with his father, and Jack was at soccer camp for the week. That meant Emily had time just her and Valentin. It was the first time he had been to her apartment. She had been to his and they had gone out quite a few times over the months, but Emily never felt truly comfortable bringing him into Nate's home.
They had just returned from a romantic dinner and a stroll by the water. Valentin had his hands all over her and her dress unzipped not five minutes after they got in. It wasn't until they were laying in bed, wrapped up in each other's arms and falling asleep that the call came.
Eyes were fluttering closed just as the ring sounded.
"Ignore it," Val said, pulling her tighter to him, his bare chest to her bare back.
"Can't. Could be Nate."
He sighed, but knew she was right.
Though it wasn't Nate. The ID said Dave. Why would he be calling so late?
"Dave? What's going on?"
She barely had time to comprehend what he said as she hopped out of bed and threw on the first thing she could find. Valentin got out of bed with her asking what was wrong.
"Where are you going?"
"The hospital," she said. "I need to get to the hospital."
She didn't even wait for him to dress. She slipped on a pair of shoes, grabbed her keys, and took off.
Hotch was shot.
She was his emergency contact.