Chapter 56: The Winds of Time
The relationship was moving along. That wasn't to say that Emily's confused feelings were suddenly resolved. No, Hotch was always somewhere in her mind. She just tried to push those thoughts as far down as she could. And when the three of them were in the same place at the same time, interacting, it was tension filled and somewhat awkward at best.
But they were trying, and she was committed to Val. That was what was important.
To show that she was trying, she agreed to introduce Nate and Val. First, though, she talked to James about it. While she didn't feel she needed his permission, she thought it would be courteous to at least warn him.
"My son asked me about gay sex today," James greeted her when she came to pick up Nate. "Apparently I have you and Hotch to thank for that. So, truly, thank you."
"Where is Nate?"
"He's in the shower. I 'accidentally' spilled juice on him to get out of talking about the more specific mechanics of gay and lesbian sex."
Emily laughed as she came into the apartment. Finally, he was having to deal with something.
"It's not funny. That was more terrifying than coming out in a strict waspy town. I almost peed my pants when he brought it up. Funny thing is, Vince would have known how to handle that. But me? I was a blubbering mess."
"Come on, I took care of the hardest part. He asked me if I have sex and about who it's with," Emily told him, receiving a laugh in return. "See, it's funny when it's not happening to you."
"I guess so," he said. "But I never want to do that again."
"Well, hopefully we took care of that."
"Yeah… You're here early, Em."
"I am. I'm glad Nate is occupied for the moment. I wanted to talk to you."
"Uh oh."
"It's nothing bad. I just, I wanted to let you know that I'm planning on introducing Nate to Val."
"The boyfriend?"
"Yes."
"So you're serious about him?"
"We've been together for months and it's time that the pieces of my life met."
"I'm ok with it."
"Good," she said, and she wasn't going to take no for an answer. James did a lot of things without her input and, while she was making it seem like he had a choice, he did not.
"How are you going to do it?"
"No clue. Never did this before."
"Neither have I."
"I'll figure it out. I just wanted to let you know in case he came to you about it."
James scoffed. "I appreciate the heads up this time."
"I've come to learn that parenting means to expect the unexpected. They keep you on your toes and you never know what's going to come out of their mouth. So, really, it shouldn't have come as a shock to you. He knows you're gay. He was bound to ask questions at some point."
"He's not too young to know all that about sex?"
"I think it's better he knows about it and that we're open to talking about it with him. Maybe that will make it easier for him to talk to us about it when he's older and thinking about it more and more. Might even keep him from making some of the mistakes we did."
"Like being with inappropriately older men."
"Or teen pregnancies."
"You think he's gay?"
"I think it doesn't matter whether he is. We'll love him regardless and, no matter what, he needs to know all the facts at some point."
"It was still painful."
"Believe me, I know."
"Hey, I got some good news today."
"Yeah? What was it?" Emily asked.
"Since I've been six months without any seizures, I'm cleared to drive. No long-distance driving and best to avoid night driving, but at least I'll be able to drive Nate to school if I have to and can go back and forth to work."
"That's great, James. Congratulations."
"I'm excited. It's a little more freedom, you know?"
"I do, and I'm happy for you."
"Thanks."
"Doc say anything else?"
"I'm doing really well. I'm always going to have these holes in my head, but the hair covers it up. I'm back at fighting weight, my muscle tone will never be back where it was, but it's much closer to normal, and I have better control over my emotions from the combination of meds and therapy. They said not to ignore signs if it looks like the seizures or any symptoms are coming back, but this is encouraging."
"That's wonderful, James."
"Nate's excited about the car, too. Before the sex talk, we spent the afternoon car searching on the internet. I think I found a few affordable used cars that we're going to look at."
"Do you know anything about cars?"
"I know enough."
"Well, if you need some input, let me know."
"Thanks. I'll go check on Nate. If you want to grab his guitar, it's in his room."
She nodded and went to go load the guitar in the car. When she returned, Nate was out of the shower and just getting dressed. It wasn't much longer until they were out the door and home.
That was when she introduced the idea of meeting Val to Nate. She wanted to ease him into it. She didn't come out and say she wanted him to meet her boyfriend. Honestly, given his recent conversation with her and then with James, she was terrified he would ask if they were having sex. She never wanted to talk about her sex life with her son again.
Nate seemed open to meeting her friend, and that was what she called Val when she asked how he would feel about her friend joining them when they went fishing that weekend.
"Sure. I'm glad you're making more friends, Mom. I wish Dad was making some too."
"I know, kid. Give him time. He's doing much better than he was. I know he's still adjusting to life without Vince. And hey, now he's driving so he can get out more."
"I want him to be happy."
"Me too."
"Do you think he will be?"
"I think he's happy all the time because you're happy. I also believe that it will take some work, but he will be happy outside of you as well."
"And you too?"
"I am happy Nate."
"I just want to be sure."
"You can be. I'm happy." She pulled him into a side hug. "So, you're all showered and ready for bed. What do you say that we sit in the living room, get cozy, and read?"
"You're going to read to me?"
"No mister. You're a chapter away from finishing your summer reading. If you get that done tonight and work on the response questions tomorrow, then we can really enjoy our weekend, and on Sunday, we can have a day just for us and do whatever you want."
"Anything?"
"Well, we'll discuss options."
"Alright. I'll get it done."
He went to his room to get the book while Emily did the same, returning with a textbook and notebook. While most of her lesson plans were set, she wanted to go over the material each week. With the semester starting soon, she figured now was as good a time as any.
It didn't take long for Nate to finish reading, but he waited, silently, for Emily to finish too. Afterward, he went to bed. As promised, he finished the work he needed to the next day so they could have their weekend.
On Friday, Hotch called and asked Emily to keep an eye on Jack. The team was called away on a case last minute as he was about to head home. The B team was out of rotation, so they were on deck.
"Sure. No problem," Emily said. "How does Jack feel about fishing?"
"Umm… Probably ok with it. Dave took him fly fishing before."
"Good. Nate and I are going tomorrow. Jack can come."
Emily thought that might work better. Then Nate would have someone there with him as he met Val and break any potential awkwardness that could occur. She was still nervous, though. She had never introduced a boyfriend to anyone other than friends on occasion.
Jack spent the night. After Emily helped him pack a bag with everything he would need in the morning, they had a quiet evening in her apartment. She made dinner and ice cream, and, before they knew it, it was bedtime. They had an early wake up call.
The 5 a.m. alarm buzzed way too early for them, but Emily got up without fighting it, started on a vat of coffee, and began breakfast before waking the boys. They put up a bit of a fight. Summer had them used to sleeping in and calm days, but that wasn't part of the day's plan.
They eventually got up when bacon and pancakes were promised. As they ate, Emily asked them to help her pack the cooler. There were sandwiches, snacks, and drinks in the fridge that needed to go in there while she got the rest of the stuff in the car.
It wasn't until 7 that they were on the road. Thankfully, the spot wasn't too far away. They had to hike a small trail before coming up on the fishing spot.
Val was already there.
"Is that your friend, Mom?"
Emily nodded and called out, "Val."
He turned and smiled. "Mon Coeur."
Approaching each other, Emily gave him a quick hug, not wanting it to appear too intimate in front of the boys. While she agreed to have Nate and Val meet, she was nervous.
"Everything will be fine. Just like it was with Madelaine," Val told her.
She didn't want to remind him that while, yes, the meeting itself went extremely well, her thoughts on Madelaine caused a rift between them that caused some damage to their relationship not unlike the kiss did. She bit her tongue and held on to those thoughts. The last thing she wanted was another argument.
"Come on over here, boys. I want you to meet someone."
Val and Emily stood like a united front. He was at her side, hand on her waist as his arm draped around her back.
"Nate, Jack, this is my friend Val. Val, this is my son Nate," she pointed to Nate. "And this is Jack."
Nate seemed shy to introduce himself. It was like he was sizing up the competition, though there was no actual competition.
Jack, seeing his hesitation, jumped in and held out his hand. "Hi Val. I'm Jack. Nice to meet you."
"And you, young man," Val said.
Nate followed suit, and the two shook hands, too.
"Your mother has told me all about you, Nate. I'm happy we could finally meet."
"Mom didn't tell me anything about you."
"Oh," Val said, surprised. "Well, I'll be happy to tell you whatever you'd like to know."
"I don't want to know anything right now. I just want to fish. Do you fish?"
"In fact, I do. I used to fish all the time in France."
"You're from France?" Nate asked.
"Yes," he said and told the boys a little about the town he was from while helping prep the fishing poles.
Emily pulled out the bait and followed behind, letting the natural course of things continue until she needed to step in.
"My mom was in France. Did you guys see each other?" Nate asked innocently.
"Ugh… yes. We happened to see each other," Val answered.
Things were going ok. Nate warmed up to Val. They weren't talking nonstop, but the situation didn't call for that. The quiet was peaceful in nature, plus, Nate said he didn't want to scare off all the fish. At one point, a few hours in, after the excitement of the first catch wore off and the fish was probably safely away from them, they seemed to cluster. Nate and Jack were perched on a log at one edge of the makeshift camp area with their bait in the water while Val and Emily were on the other getting out what they needed for lunch.
"Things seem to be going well," Emily said.
A pinched smile, he responded, "Yes."
"That's all you have to say?" Emily asked with confusion.
"What more do you wish for me to say?"
"I don't know. Tell me Nate was nice to you and that you like him."
"He was nice. He's a good kid."
"What's with the attitude?" she harshly asked, voice quiet.
The kids weren't far enough away that they wouldn't hear if voices rose even a little.
"Jack is Hotch's son, no?"
"Yes. He is. What's the problem?"
"Why is he here?"
Switching to French so the boys couldn't understand even if they did hear, Emily explained that Hotch was out of town for a case and she was keeping an eye on Jack. "He's not an issue, Val. He's Nate's friend and he is important to me too."
"I don't see why he had to be here. I wanted to meet your son, not your son and your affair's son."
"It wasn't an affair," she told him. "It was one kiss."
"It was more than that and we both know it."
"I told you everything that happened. I thought you had forgiven me," she said.
"I have. That doesn't mean I'm happy to be with him or his kid."
"That kid is as much family to me as my own son. You have to accept that."
"And if I can't?" he asked, the start of what could be an ultimatum.
"Then we shouldn't be here right now."
He paused and sighed. "I'm sorry."
"You should be. This was supposed to be a good day."
He looked at her and said, "You introduced me as your friend."
"Is that the problem? I didn't say boyfriend?"
"It would be nice if you had."
Emily huffed and apologized, and though he said it was ok and he just wanted it to be known, it was clear that there was tension between them. They bickered on and off for the rest of the day. Emily just said they could talk about it later. She wasn't going to argue in front of Nate and Jack.
At least the boys seemed to be having a good time. As they ate lunch, it was nice to see Val and Nate interact. They were getting along fine. Nate seemed to be ok with him. He even seemed impressed later when they caught a big fish right before leaving. Nate and Jack reeled it in together, even if Jack gave Nate all the credit, and Val impressed them by breaking the fish down into filets that they could throw on ice and grill when they got back to Emily's.
Overall, it was a good meeting. It definitely could have gone worse. Aside from the tension between Emily and Val, the meeting itself was a success. However, Emily didn't like that Val ignored Jack for most of the day. When there were conversations, even if Jack said something, he remained focused on just Nate. The fact that they were communicating easily should have made her happy, but she just couldn't get past his treatment of Jack. Jack wasn't his father, so whatever contempt that Val might have had toward Hotch should not have impacted the way he treated Jack.
When they were alone that night, they hashed it out. Really, they swept it under the rug. Emily rationalized that she didn't have a right to be mad at him. She was, but she squashed the feelings. While she expressed that she didn't like the way he treated Jack, he had a right to be upset with her and Hotch. He promised not to be so upset when or if Jack was around, but made it clear he preferred to have absolutely nothing to do with Hotch. Emily knew that could be problematic but agreed anyway.
Over the next few weeks, as they fell into a pattern, things went ok between them. Emily and Val were doing well. Nate didn't mind seeing him at their apartment more and more. When he was there to celebrate Emily's birthday with all of them, no one gave it too much attention. Nate didn't mind his presence at the party… at first.
It wasn't until the first sleepover after the party that Nate became truly upset. She was reluctant to let Val stay, but it was late, and he had been drinking. Hotch was at the party and it led to them arguing behind the scenes. She didn't like her relationship issues on display nor was she a huge fan of public displays of affection, though she was sure JJ and Pen would ask about them later.
The point was, she ended up allowing him to stay. Nate was already asleep, and Emily figured it would be fine. Emily wasn't aware of how handsy he got when he was drunk. While they had shared a drink or two together before, neither of them passed the line of intoxication.
But throughout the evening, the more he drank, the less control he had over where his hands roamed and what he was saying. He would come up and kiss her out of nowhere, especially if Hotch was anywhere near her. He would try to get her alone. It was a new experience and one she couldn't say she enjoyed.
"Is everything ok?" JJ asked her when she saw Emily push Val away.
"He had a bit too much to drink. Everything is fine."
"Do you want Will and I to take him home?"
"No… Thank you. But he lives out of the way for you guys. He can stay here if he needs to."
"Are you sure? We don't mind."
"I'm sure. Thanks though."
"No problem. Will and I are going to take off. Henry's passed out already and I'd like to get him in his bed. Happy birthday, Em. Let's have a girls' day soon. No kids. No guys. Just talk about kids and guys. I can even get Will to watch Nate so he and Henry can have a sleepover. It's been a while."
"Sounds good. Thanks."
Once JJ was gone, Derek and Penelope were sufficiently liquored up, not drunk, but not sober enough to drive, and Spencer offered to make sure they got home. Then, the only ones left were Emily, Nate, Jack, Hotch, and Val. Dave left a little earlier.
"Val, come on. Let's get you to bed," Emily whispered, hoping he would just listen to her and not argue.
His hands were on her waist and his lips were on her neck. She was uncomfortable with that kind of attention when Jack was still awake and around. Nate may have been asleep, but he could have woken at any point.
"Stop, Val. I'm going to get you some water and then to bed with you."
"You too," he said. "Both of us in bed."
"We will both be going to sleep, yes."
"Not sleeping," he said, pulling her closer to him.
"Val. Stop," she demanded more forcefully.
"Everything ok?" Hotch asked, ready to step in.
"Everything's fine," Emily said.
"Yes, fine. Leave us be," Val added.
Hotch ignored him and looked to Emily.
"Really. We're fine. You don't have to stay and clean up. I'll take care of it."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. Jack looks tired and bored without Henry and Nate to hang out with. Get him home."
"What about," Hotch said, gesturing to Val.
"I have that covered."
"Alright. Call if you need anything."
"I'm more than capable of taking care of her needs," Val claimed.
Emily just sighed. She wasn't used to him being like this. He was all the wrong kinds of clingy and jealous, and she couldn't help but feel that she made him that way. She caused this.
"We're okay," Emily said. "Thanks for everything."
"I'll come by in the morning," Hotch told her. "Happy birthday."
"Thanks."
Hotch was reluctant to go but took Jack and left. The night didn't get better from there. Emily helped Val into her room. He was unstable on his feet and leaning heavily on her. When they reached the bed, Emily went to help him down, but he pulled her with him.
"We must celebrate your birthday," he said.
"Not now, Val. You're drunk and I'm tired."
His advances, however, didn't accept that response. If he didn't act like a jerk all day and Nate wasn't just in the other room, she might have appreciated his wanton behavior. But that wasn't the case, and she just wanted to go to bed. She enjoyed her party, but there was a tense part of her that just wanted it over.
When his kisses became a bit more eager and his hands gripped a little too tightly, Emily had enough. She pushed herself off him, got up, and told him to go to bed.
"We're not doing this. I'm not going to sleep with you when you're acting like this. Drunk Val is not my Val."
She stormed out of the room. When he didn't follow, she breathed a sigh of relief. She just wanted the night over. First, she checked on Nate who was fast asleep, and did some cleaning up before turning in, using the couch as her temporary respite.
It was late when a hand gently squeezed her leg. Hot breath hit her cheek.
"I'm sorry," Val said, kissing her cheek over and over until he reached her lips. "I'm sorry. Come to bed. I'll behave."
She did. She gave in and followed him back to her bedroom where, once in bed, he cuddled up with her and held her all night. Only then did she feel like she could breathe again. That feeling didn't last long because she got quite the wake-up call early in the morning.
"Jack was right!" Nate yelled, waking her up. "He is your boyfriend and now you're sleeping together."
"What is the yelling about?" Val grumbled before Emily could speak. "Go back to sleep."
Nate stared at Emily with a face of anger she had never been on the receiving end of. Quickly, she got out of bed to follow Nate as he raced out and back to his room, slamming his door.
"Nate. Let's talk."
"No," he yelled. "I don't want to talk to you."
"Please Nate."
"No. You're just going to lie to me. You told me he was only your friend."
"I wasn't lying to you, Nate," she said through the door. "I wanted you to get to know Val and like him before I told you we were dating."
"I don't care. You never lied to me before and now you have."
"Please open the door, Nate."
"I don't want to talk to you right now."
Dejected, she responded, "Ok Nate. Come out when you're ready to talk."
"You shouldn't let him make the rules," Val said, appearing behind her.
"He's not. He's upset and I'm letting him be upset."
"He's running the show."
"You know what, Val? You didn't want to hear what I had to say about Madelaine, and I don't want to hear what you have to say about Nate. I'll parent my son the way I see fit. In fact, I think you should head home. Nate and I need to get ready for the day. You should too."
"I don't have classes today and neither do you."
"That may be true, but my kid needs to get to school and I have office hours today."
"Are you upset with me?" he asked.
"Yes, Val, I am, and I'm in no mood to discuss this right now. If you want to stay, stay. There's some Ibuprofen and water on the nightstand for you. Take it and go back to bed."
He was going to say something, but he saw the look she was giving him and thought it best to just follow directions. Besides, the hangover was hitting him with full force and the vertigo was setting in. Laying down was best.
Nate didn't talk to her the entire morning. She barely got a bye from him as he left for school. She didn't speak to Val much at all when she was getting ready to leave. In fact, she was happy when he passed out as she was getting dressed. She stuck a post it on his head saying she went to work and if he left, to lock up.
The day was kind of awful.
Even though she managed to have a talk with Nate to explain the situation and earn his forgiveness that evening, she understood why he was upset. This man came out of nowhere and was inserted in his life. Emily lied to him about who Val was, in a lie of omission kind of way, and Nate just saw that this guy made Emily act in ways she never had. At least, that was how it appeared. Emily couldn't refute that she was making mistakes. She took responsibility for them. She didn't blame Val.
Still, he forgave her, and, after a long talk, she and Val made up.
"I don't like the way you were acting. You were possessive and drank way too much."
"I'm sorry," he said. "I was just… I don't like being around Hotch. I didn't mind before, but now all I see is you two kissing or… or worse, I imagine you in bed together."
Guilt struck her. She was ruining this…
"Just… Don't do it again. I don't like who you become when you drink like that. I've never seen you possessive and totally ignorant to my wishes."
"I won't drink like that again. I don't like who I become when I drink too much either."
That conversation was enough to repair things, or start to, but he had some making up to do. Their reconciliation though, didn't mean her friends weren't concerned. Girls' day happened over the weekend and JJ expressed her feelings.
"Is everything ok between you and Val?"
"Everything's fine," Emily responded.
"Are you sure, Hon?" Pen asked. "He was drinking kind of a lot at your dinner party."
"Pen, so did you and Derek."
"True. But… I just really liked that wine and you know what wine does to me, plus I challenged Derek to a wine off and… Neither of us were drunk. I was coherent and woke up feeling fine in the morning. Work ready. I don't think Val can say the same."
"Val drank too much, and he became…"
"A predator," JJ finished for her.
"Handsy and possessive," Emily corrected.
"That's one way to put it," Pen scoffed.
"Val and I talked. I don't want to get into it, but something happened over the summer, something I did, that made him very upset. It was just… Things have been hard since. We have our great moments and then we have our not so great moments. He was drunk, and I didn't like the way he acted. I told him, and he promised not to get drunk and act like that again. I'm going to hold him to that."
Pen looked squirrelly in her seat, taking a sip of her coffee and wondering if she should say something. Her eyes shifted from JJ to Emily.
"Is this about what happened in North Carolina?"
Emily stopped mid bite, fork suspended in the air.
"What happened in North Carolina?" JJ asked as she watched the staring contest initiate between Pen and Emily.
The two ignored JJ's question and continued to lock eyes. Emily had yet to respond.
"You told Val about it?"
Emily just stared at her. She wasn't going to give any information away, so she wasn't going to admit to anything until Pen said what she knew.
So, Emily asked, "How did you find out?"
"I saw you when Spence and I came back from the convention. Out on the balcony…"
She knew, Emily realized.
"Why didn't you say anything sooner?"
"Despite my penchant to gossip… and you know I love it… This wasn't something I wanted to spread around."
"What is it?!" JJ finally yelled garnering the attention of the restaurant. "Sorry. But seriously," her voice returned to normal levels. "What are we talking about?"
Penelope gave Emily a look that told her they wouldn't judge. She could say it and they wouldn't judge her.
"I kissed someone," Emily admitted. "Someone that wasn't Val."
"Who?" That was the first thing JJ asked. Then things started to click. "Wait, this happened on our vacation? And it happened when they were at the convention which was when Will and I were on a date… It was Hotch?!"
"Could you not yell? You sound like Pen."
"I take offense to that," Pen grumbled.
"Hotch and I kissed, yes. It was… it happened and we… Val forgave me and we're trying to make a go at it."
"Is that why Hotch and Robin broke up?"
"It's a very big part of it."
"So you really kissed?"
"We really did."
"Was it amazing?" Penelope asked. "Please answer. I've been holding in all my thoughts and feelings and now I'm ready to combust."
"It was a good kiss."
"When you say kiss, was it like a peck, a quick lip lock, or like a kiss, kiss?"
"Option 3, JJ. What does it matter?"
"It matters."
Emily sighed and then just let go. She told them everything from the first kiss at Jack's party to what happened in North Carolina and then with Val and Robin. She was surprised how much she needed to talk about it. She needed to discuss it with someone who wasn't involved, someone who wasn't Hotch or Val or biased in anyway. Maybe they were biased because Hotch was their family and Val was just an interloper until or unless he was married in, but that didn't matter.
She just needed to talk with her friends.
"So, how have things been since then?"
"And what's happening with Hotch?" Pen questioned.
"Nothing is happening with Hotch."
"But could there be?"
"We're not having an affair Pen. This isn't one of your sordid romance novels."
"Hmmph."
"To answer you, JJ," Emily began, moving past Penelope's want for a soap opera. "Things with Hotch have been fine… As long as Val's not around."
"I noticed something weird on your birthday. He kept trying to stay away from you and Val, spent more time with Dave and the boys… But I was asking about things with Val."
"Oh," Emily blushed. "Like I said. Up and down. Sometimes things feel so perfect and right, but then Hotch is mentioned or Jack is around, and things go sour. He likes to remind me that I kissed someone and, while that's true, he said he wanted to work things out, so he can't keep throwing that in my face."
"No, he shouldn't. That's not cool."
"But he's trying. I hurt him. I know I did. Part of the problem was that I kept him from half my life because I didn't know how or when to introduce him to Nate. So that was part of the deal when we agreed to try to fix things. I had to let him in the same way he tried to let me in. He's trying. We both are. I don't know… I just… I don't know."
The two blondes looked to each other curiously. They had seen Emily date before. They had seen her at the start of a relationship. They had seen her at a quick end. But they had never really seen her in this territory.
"Are you happy?" Pen asked. "Because that's all that matters. If he makes you happy and makes you feel good about yourself, then keep at it. It will work out. But if he's not making you feel amazing, and I don't mean all the time, because people argue, but when you need it… Then let him go."
"As long as he doesn't drink, I am happy. He makes me feel beautiful and loved. At the same time, I know I hurt him."
"That's not an excuse to treat you poorly."
"He's not. Really. Last night you saw him in rare form. He's a giant teddy bear most days, but when he's around Hotch, it's just not comfortable."
"Has he asked you not to see Hotch?"
"No. I know he wishes he could, but he knows he can't. Nate and Jack are way too close for me to break contact."
They didn't want to mention that Emily and Hotch were also too close to cut off contact. Instead, they just listened and gave the ears Emily needed to vent. Of course, they asked some questions, trying to better understand her relationships with both men. All they really learned was that Emily loved Val and she regretted hurting him, but they couldn't help but realize that she didn't regret kissing Hotch or that she didn't seem to want to discuss her feelings for him at all. Talking about it, even though they didn't tell her what to do, made Emily feel better. She was holding in all her feelings and even when she talked with Clyde, it wasn't the same as girl talk. She needed the girl talk.
Things got better after that. Emily was more open with Val about her feelings and made better efforts to repair the damage between Nate and Val. As the days passed, she wouldn't describe the relationship as great, but it wasn't contentious. When the three of them were together, an effort was made, but Nate wasn't completely comfortable with Val. He just didn't know what to make of a boyfriend in his mom's life.
Still, things were better. Val didn't overindulge when they were in drinking situations. He hung out with Emily and her friends on double dates and whatever. Nate was kind, if not a bit standoffish with him.
She called it all an improvement. The relationship was moving closer to where she hoped it would be.
And then Madelaine came.
It was the night before Halloween when Val got a call from his ex-wife telling him the Madelaine had run away that morning. Apparently, instead of going to school like she should have, she took off. Now it was hours later, and she had yet to return, but she did text her mother, so they knew she was alive and hopefully safe.
Naturally, he was panicked. Emily did her best to calm him. It didn't work at first, but once he paced enough, she told him she was probably on her way there.
"How would you know?" he snapped.
"Because I was her age once and I tried to run away all the time."
His eyes narrowed as she said that. While it made sense, he knew enough about her parents to know that she felt some benign neglect growing up. She wanted for nothing but their love and attention. Her father and mother were rarely in the same place, and she was always with her mother. He felt like it was a jab.
But she was also right. They were arguing about it at his place when there was a knock on the door.
It was Madelaine.
She seemed happier to see Emily than her father. Emily assumed that was because she acted as a buffer, but only to a point. Val was still furious.
After making sure his daughter was ok, he spent an hour yelling at her, making her call her mother, and then sent her to bed. Emily hadn't heard that much yelling in French since she and her mother were living there.
"I think I should head home," Emily said.
"Stay, please."
"I would love to, really, but I think your daughter wants and needs time with you and you need it with her. But if she's not in too much trouble, and since she's here, she can come with us for Halloween. I know it's not a big thing in France, but here it is. She can come trick-or-treating with us."
"Perhaps," he said, kissing her. "Call in the morning?"
"Definitely, and you can call me anytime. I'd stay, you know that, but I'm telling you, as a woman that used to run away from my own mom, she needs you. Just you."
He nodded.
Val and Madelaine spent the night talking. Emily came to learn that also meant she was getting away with things with no consequence at all. There was an upcoming holiday at her school in France, so Val and Marlene, the ex-wife, decided she would stay the week and then return home. While Emily was glad the girl was going to get the time with her dad that she needed, she knew Val was no disciplinarian with his daughter and it would be a true vacation. Not what she needed.
In fear of starting another argument, she didn't tell him her thoughts and wouldn't until or unless something made it pertinent. Honestly, she hoped he proved her wrong.
He didn't. Halloween was fine, but Madelaine was a little rude to Nate, though Nate didn't tell Emily that. When they were introduced, he saw Madelaine and thought she was pretty and smart and cool. Jack did too. But she said Halloween must be for babies since she only saw kids trick-or-treating.
Nate and Jack were tired and quiet at the end of the night, but that wasn't unlike any other Halloween. They perked up when Val and Madelaine left.
Over the next week, Emily, Val, and their kids spent a lot of time together. It was a way to see if their future could work and if their kids got along. They did, but Emily wasn't thrilled with the situation in the end. Madelaine and Val would come over to her place for dinners every day. Often, Madelaine was given free rein to explore Georgetown while Val was teaching or in office hours during the day and, in the evenings, would play the part of dutiful daughter with her "family."
The freedom, however, turned out to be a problem. Madelaine was an intelligent girl that had a broken home since the divorce and, essentially, lost her father to another country. She was acting out however she could. Emily tried to be someone she could talk to, and she did, but Emily felt uncomfortable with things.
Madelaine confided in Emily as a friend might, but Emily believed she did so in order for Emily to tell her father and shock him. When she didn't relay the message, she took things into her own hands. The last few days that she was in America were the worst.
It started with cigarettes. Madelaine would light up wherever and whenever she pleased. Emily suspected that she was also drinking. A bottle of wine and vodka were missing from her cabinet. She did her due diligence and checked Nate's room on the off chance he took it and it wasn't there. She tried to tell Val about it, but he didn't listen until he was confronted with the situation firsthand.
On Thursday, Madelaine disappeared from Georgetown. She eventually showed up at Emily's in the middle of dinner, drunk and possibly high. Emily sent Nate to Hotch's and took care of Madelaine while waiting for Val who was out looking for her.
When he showed up, Madelaine was face down in the toilet heaving while Emily held her hair back and rubbed the girl's back, trying to be supportive and share her own experiences.
Val didn't yell or do anything but help her lay down. Talking to her while she was drunk would be useless.
"She can stay the night," Emily said.
"Thank you."
"But this has to go," she said, holding up a little baggie with pot in it.
"Where did that come from?"
"I found it in her bag."
"You went through her things?" he yelled.
"She threw up on her shirt, Val. She had another in her bag. This fell out when I went to get it for her."
"Did you put it in there?"
"What?"
"You've been telling me she's been using since you first met her. Now you find this. She doesn't do drugs."
"Maybe she does, and you just don't want to see it, Val. Why would I plant drugs on her? Seriously. If you think I'd do that, then you don't know me at all."
"She didn't," Madelaine's quiet voice said. "It's mine."
Val didn't apologize but dragged Madelaine off the couch and took her home. What happened after that, Emily couldn't say because she didn't hear from Val until the next day when Madelaine took off again after he confronted her about finding men's underwear, a pair that did not belong to him, in Madelaine's room.
That set him off on a mission. She was in trouble.
Emily rolled her eyes and thought, "Finally."
Madelaine didn't show up at Emily's this time. Instead, she returned home late at night, high and yelling at her father, asking why he only cared now. What about all the other times she did stupid things or got in trouble… She had a lot to say, most of it incoherent.
Val didn't know what to do, so he finally turned to Emily. Though, Emily lost it on Madelaine and Val when she caught the teen teaching Nate how to smoke a cigarette. She had the cigarette lit and in his mouth, teaching him the best way to inhale.
"Get her out of my home," Emily said, turning what was a breakthrough in their ability to turn to each other for parenting advice and help into a big fight.
It didn't matter, though. As much as she wanted to help, she had to protect Nate. She had to put him, his needs, and his health above all else, even if it meant fighting with Val. Because she warned him. She tried to help, and because he didn't listen, it was bleeding into sacred territory.
"Your daughter is acting out, just as I said she was and it's only going to get worse unless you deal with it. So deal with it. I won't let it affect my son."
When they left, Emily spoke a few words with Madelaine and the girl even apologized to Emily.
"I know you're sorry," Emily replied, "And I know you're hurting. Acting out like this is only hurting you. Take care of yourself Madelaine. I'm upset now, but I am still here for you to talk to. You have my number."
The teen hugged her and thanked her. Emily's heart broke for her because she had been there. She felt all the things Madelaine was feeling and she knew it was rough. But only she could help herself.
Val didn't say anything to Emily as they left. He sent her a text saying he was sorry and tried to call her. She picked up, reluctantly.
"You were right," he said. "I'm returning to Bordeaux with Madelaine to try to help her and talk with Marlene about a solution. I'm just… I'm sorry."
"I wish you had listened to me instead of writing me off."
"I wish I had too."
Emily was still upset with the situation, but she was happy he was going with his daughter. She needed him. And he would have to work for her forgiveness, but finally admitting that she wasn't trying to just be spiteful about his parenting and Madelaine was a start.
He stayed in France for a week. Emily and a teaching assistant took over his classes. It meant more work for her, but Emily was happy to help in the way she could. It was only a week and he sent her the occasional update from France.
Things were different when he returned, and Emily was in for a surprise.
He asked her to dinner at his place. He made it romantic and perfect, an intimate evening just the two of them. The first thing he did was kiss her and tell her how sorry he was.
"I didn't want to see it, but it was right in front of me. Madelaine was misbehaving and I wanted it to just be a phase, but it was not."
"How's she doing?"
"She's… better. We talked. All three of us spent a lot of time talking and we have a better understanding of what has been going on."
He gave her the low down of what happened that week and what he learned about his daughter's actions and motivations.
"She is my angel," he told her. "I love her with all my heart, but I see her so little that when we are together, I let her do whatever she wants. That is a problem. Part of her problem," he admitted.
It wasn't that he was a bad father, but one who chose a job he loved and that could help to provide for his daughter at a time in her life when she needed him closer more than ever, despite her pulling away.
"I thought that taking this job would be alright because she was older. I was always with her throughout her childhood. I did everything with her. As she became more independent, I became sad. When she was in high school, and hanging out with friends, this job was presented to me. I spoke with Madelaine about it and she wanted me to take it too. The distance was not good for her, though. I see that now."
"I'm sorry that this is how things happened."
"Me too. But I am glad I am not blind anymore. She is getting help she needs."
"That's great, Val. I'm happy for both of you."
He anxiously bit his lip and took her hand, squeezing it. He took a moment before looking into her eyes.
"I need to be close with her. I need to help her and show her that I have not abandoned her. Nothing she could do would make me leave her."
"How do you plan to do that from a different continent?"
Again, he squeezed her hand.
"I cannot."
Val sighed and told her that he was moving back to France at the end of the semester.
"It is the only way I can be there for my daughter and help her become the girl I know her to be, to show her that I love her and want nothing but the best for her; to support her as she needs me to."
"You're leaving?" she asked, her heart thumping. He was breaking up with her, she thought… for a good reason, she knew, but it hurt.
He leaned in and hugged her, hot breath on her cheek, he whispered, "Move with me. Move to Bordeaux and marry me."
She snapped out of the embrace.
"What?"
"Yes. Come with me. I need to be there for my daughter. You were right. She's not ok. She needs me there. But I love you. I need you. She needs you. I saw how amazingly loving and firm you were with her. I see how great you are with your son. We can be a family."
"Val…"
He got down on one knee beside her and held out a box.
"Marry me. Move to Bordeaux, you and Nate, and be a family with me and Madelaine."
….
All I can say is don't hate me just yet. Let this play out next chapter before you panic…