The following is a Work of Fan-Fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or are rearranged in disregard of actual Space and Time in a fictitious manner to suit the fantasy of this tale. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
Any intellectual properties, memes, or what-have-you's mentioned herein belong to their respective rights holders.
Tales from the ARKNIGHTS
As I thought, the Daily Lives of Operators is FUBAR
By A Deluded Middle-Aged Smart Aleck Gr00vyThunderb0ltJazzDuel
Prologue 1-0
"Roll Call at The Round Table"
0800 \ Thunderstorm
Rhodes Island CIC \ Ark-1 Holding position 50Km outside Chernobog
Chernobog was a dumpster fire. From the video feed fed through holographic projectors, they saw the billowing plumes of smoke rise across the overcast horizon, as jagged spires of jet black Originium crystals sprouted from the concrete jungle. A suffocating shower of contaminated rain fell upon the ruined streets to tolls of thunder, pooling in the open mouths and lifeless eyes of bodies transfixed forever in the raging rictus of violence and death. Even a day after Reunion took the world by storm in open bloody revolt against the Ursus Empire's authoritarian regime amidst a Category-4 catastrophe, the city still writhed and burned in its death throes.
?: Hard to believe before lunchtime yesterday Chernobog was a city just like any other. Far from a utopia, but a place the people who lived here called home, Infected or not.
?: Doctor Hourai, permission to be candid, ma'am?
Hourai: Oh my, I do not recall doing anything that deserves such deference, Machias-san.
Machias: You are the ranking officer in the room as Director of Outpatient Services and Chronic Treatment Services. As Chief Nursing Officer, I…
Hourai: Tee hee hee, Ma-chan, will a day ever come when we do not need to remind you that Rhodes Island is not the Ursus Imperial Army? While protocol should be respected, reality is not obligated to play by the rules.
The perennially sullen Ursus man grunted at the beaming Vulpo woman, her impressive mass of nine tails undulating playfully.
Machias: Noted, Doctor Hourai. Then…
Hourai: Please, do.
Machias: Chernobog had it coming.
Hourai: Oh, my.
Machias: Even before my-affliction, Chernobog carried a reputation amongst the Ursus people. Everyone knew about Chernobog, not because of her industrial, economic, scientific, or military contributions to the Empire. No; Chernobog is-was a city free from Infection.
Hourai: ...But that is preposterous. Even armed with the best scientifically tested public health practices we have, Oripathy can strike anyone, anywhere, at any time. Never mind the infection mechanism itself is still-
Machias: A city. Free. from Infection.
Hourai; ...Oh. Oh dear, they would not have.
Machias: Tell that to the Infected of Chernobog returning the injustice they experienced for decades with interest. If it was not Reunion yesterday, it would have been some other group sooner or later.
?: And two wrongs do not make a right. Wasn't that idea covered in your last annual training for Ethics and RI Codes of Conduct, or some such?
Those chipper, scathing words pierced the air between the two Rhodes officers, catching them by surprise as a stampede of footsteps ushered in an entourage of familiar faces.
Amiya: D-Doctor Trigger, sl-slow down. You shouldn't be running… In the halls… in your…
Doctor Trigger: Me? Runnin'? Slow down? In my condition? Baby doll, I ran and even carried this here stupid IV stand with me, messing up my running form, while in this full ridiculous getup-and a full face helmet obstructing my breathin'! Didn't even sip some hater-ade since y'all be pumping electrolytes straight to my veins through this IV bag, and that was just a warm-up! ...Don't tell me you've been slacking off on your PT, Amiya.
Amiya: Uuu… D-Doctor...
?: Pres., you okay?
Amiya: B-Bridges…! I'm... fine. Just need to catch… my breath.
Bridges: Whether he's an old goat, or a new goat? I dunno, but some things really didn't change about the Doc. Once he worked himself up, I knew we didn't have a chance of stopping him from leaving Medical. C'mon, let's do a little cooldown circle around the briefing table before getting you seated.
Doctor Trigger: Hark, Sirrah Bridges! Art thou spoiling our dear Princess President Amiya?
Bridges: If you file your concern in triplicate and route it to the appropriate HR channel, I'll consider hearing you out, Doc. But could you kindly switch off your mouth hole for a few minutes? I am kinda regretting resuscitating you from the dead yesterday.
Doctor: Suspicious! Forsooth, very suspicious indeed! Oy, Sourpuss Bear Man and Thieving Fox Woman, what say yee to this salacious fraternization?
Machias: ...hrm. (Sourpuss is it? Me? ...Really?)
Hourai: Oh, um… Wh-what do you think, Doctor Deadsmith? (Thieving he says! Me? Why I have not done anything of the sort-for the past twenty fours.)
A boisterous laugh rode into the scene, as a diminutive bespectacled gentleman arrived on the back of a scowling Perro woman.
Deadsmith: It is refreshing to see our reborn mad lad in top form! Never expected he knew how to start the pregame for a long odious meeting. Do you not agree, Instructor Dobermann?
Dobermann: Mister Deadsmith, do watch your hands kindly when you disembark.
Deadsmith: Good heavens, my dear. Why I am the very picture of a principled Durin artisan! Now, I admit there have been some misunderstandings and unfortunate turns of circumstance in the past, but with Human Resources as my alibi and witness, I would not dream of laying hands on my beloved art and collaborators-unless it was consensual of course.
Dobermann: Kindly. Mister. Deadsmith.
Doctor Trigger: Sheesh, is it getting hot in here or is this a televised highschool romcom? Y'all need to turn it down with the teenage hormones and unspoken tension.
Everyone Else: (But aren't you the one stoking the flames higher and higher, Doc / Doctor / Doctor Trigger!?)
Doctor Trigger: I understand that the bitty old cat is away so the mice will play, but if that Kal-tibbidy-wub-wub-macallits walks in on this frat party all of a sudden, we are all gonna take a pay cut and get our tomfoolery privileges revoked for a month. And I LIKE my tomfoolery privileges.
A projection appeared at one of the chairs indicating an incoming transmission, but the Doctor paid it no mind as he continued his sassy rant.
Doctor Trigger: Like, yo, can you all believe the tongue lashing I got last night from her? So what if I'm amnesiac? So what if I have been MIA in a medically induced coma for a year? So what if I just went mano-a-womano with the big bad honcho of Reunion to a stand still and had to beat feet before we all got eaten by some Catastrophe bitten Monster?
The transmission connected to the session, depositing the authoritarian presence of a certain silver-haired Feline in a green dress.
Doctor Trigger: Gosh, Kal'tsit! it was just nag, nag, nag, and nag, on and on, depleting my sanity until somehow I passed out. Not even a teary-faced declaration of 'I missed you so much, you smooth operating maniac!' Oh, and the worst part? The old bitty did it to me through telepresence, my brethren! TELE-presence! She could not even give me the time of day to slap my face in person and gimme a hug for the absolute unit of a mad lad I am!
Suffice to say, Kal'tsit, a founding member of Rhodes Island and Director of the Department of Medicine, was not impressed by Trigger's schoolboy stand-up routine.
Kal'tsit: Is that so? I suppose, I will take your preferences under advisement for the next time, Doctor Trigger.
Doctor Trigger: Heck yeah, you should. I got an earful of comebacks and quips to drop on your lascivious lap when our legendary-OH.
Kal'tsit: Good morning, Trigger.
Doctor Trigger: H-HEY there, Kal'tsit. Looking mighty fine and hot under the collar as always, uh… Hey, y'all, are we done with roll call already this morning? Like, what about you two outstanding creatures and the fella Dobermaan dragged in that I have been introduced to yet?
Machias: Just… Chief Machias. Nursing.
Deadsmith: Deadsmith. Mortuary Affairs and other business. Again, the pleasure is mine, Doctor.
Hourai: Doctor Hourai. Outpatient Services and more. We-should get started, Doctor Trigger.
Doctor Trigger: Y-Yeah, affirmative, my dudes.
With the actors assembled, the morning roll call at the Round Table came to a close, and the day's struggle could begin in earnest because Chernobog was a dumpster fire.