Disclaimer: All rights belong to Nickelodeon, Bryan Konietzko, Michael Dante DiMartino, and all the men and women that created the A:TLA show, books, and comics. I take no credit, and I do not mean to break any copyright rules. This is simply a work of fiction made for enjoyment. No money is being made. The lyrics are from the song "Monster" by Imagine Dragons

Rating: General Audiences. Warning: some scenes contain dark themes and minor violence

Chapter 9 - A Lesson in Self-Defense

If I told you what I was
Would you turn your back on me?
And if I seemed dangerous
Would you be scared?

"How is our progress?"

"We're about four days out from port, sir. Three and a half if this weather keeps up." The captain motions out the window. "We're just passing Kyoshi Island now. I'm keeping us far enough from the coast that they shouldn't even see us."

Zuko takes a pair of binoculars and heads out on deck. He puts the device up to his eyes and scans the horizon. In the distance he can see the beach and forests of Kyoshi Island. He decides to trust the captain's word that they have enough distance between them.

"What are you looking at?" Katara comes to stand next to him. She leans against the railing and squints into the distance.

"Kyoshi Island." Zuko offers her the binoculars.

"Why aren't we stopping there? It looks like a nice place to anchor for a day."

"Kyoshi is home to a group of very strong warriors. They are extremely suspicious of outsiders. We wouldn't be able to hide our true identity there."

Katara gives him the binoculars back. "So where are we going, then?"

He decides to tell her the truth. Well, the truth as much as he can afford to give her.

"We're going to Whale Tail Island. There's a base there. Belongs to Southern Raiders. They're allies of the Fire Nation. We'll dock there for a couple days and resupply. Then we're going to Mount Taku."

"Where's that?"

"In the Northern Earth Kingdom."

She gives him a strange look. "I thought the Earth Kingdom was dangerous. Why are we going there?"

"There's a woman who lives there who has many talents. She can help you recover your memories."

Katara looks surprised. "You're taking me to get my memories back? I mean, I'm grateful but why would you do that? Aren't you on an important mission?"

He doesn't think she suspects anything yet, but he doesn't want to take any chances. She's too smart. But will she believe a lie?

"If you want to start a new life, you'll need your memories back. And what I'm looking for isn't going to magically disappear in the few days it will take for us to go to Mount Taku."

She smiles widely. "Thank you so much, Zuko. This really means a lot to me." Then she does something completely unexpected: she wraps her arms around him in a tight hug. For a second he completely panics, then he awkwardly sets his hand lightly on her back.

Zuko has never felt so guilty in his life before. Katara is so trusting. Her mind can't even comprehend how horrible people can be. How horrible Zuko can be. She has no idea what is waiting for them in Mount Taku. Even Zuko shudders at the thought of Her, but She's the only way to get Katara's memories back. And her memories are the only way to find out what happened to the last Avatar.

But right now, finding the Avatar doesn't seem so important to Zuko. He just feels so guilty about his upcoming betrayal. He can already see what Katara's face will look like when they meet Her. She'll look back at him with wide, scared eyes. He'll say that he didn't realize how horrible She is. And Katara will trust him. And he'll feel so, so dirty.

He's relieved when she steps away. "You know, when I first met you, Zuko, I wasn't sure what kind of person you were. And hearing how the Fire Nation mercilessly destroyed my people didn't help. But you're not like the others from the Fire Nation. You and your uncle are good people."

On the outside, Zuko keeps a straight face. On the inside, he's screaming at her to stop saying those things. He doesn't deserve it. If she knew what he was planning...If she learned that he's been lying to her this entire time…

"It's nothing," he says. But it's everything. Because for once in his life, he's not thinking about his lost honor or his banishment. For once he's just thinking that he wants to be the person she sees him as. And not just her - his uncle, too. Iroh sees something good deep down in him, too.

All Zuko sees is a weakness that he can't seem to burn out of him.

But is it weakness? He's always seen Katara as a strong individual, and she's caring and compassionate and open. Maybe Zuko can be the person she and Iroh sees and still be strong.

No. He can't. His father only sees power and strength. In order to restore his honor, Zuko must prove that he is powerful and strong. He must make the hard choices, including the one to take Katara to Her.

Iroh comes to stand next to Zuko. "You seem conflicted about something."

Can everyone read straight through Zuko? Is he that open?

"You were right about how dangerous She is," he admits. "I don't want to visit Her."

"So we're not going to Mount Taku anymore?"

"We still have to go. It's the only way to get the information I need. I just don't want to."

"It's not the only way, Prince Zuko."

He turns to his uncle, the tiniest bit of hope growing inside of him. "What other way is there?"

"Patience. You can wait until Katara gets her memories back naturally. She remembers more and more every day."

That option does sound better than going to Her. Problem is, they don't know if Katara will remember everything. Or it could take months. Zuko doesn't have that much time. If he doesn't find the Avatar before his father finishes conquering the remaining nations, he'll never be able to win his honor back.

"If she remembers more before we reach Mount Taku, I'll reconsider. If not, we go to see Her."

A compromise. They have about ten days before they reach the shores of the Northern Earth Kingdom, plus however long they spend at Whale Tail Island. That gives Katara some time to get more of her memories back. All she needs to remember is the month leading up to her being frozen in ice. If she can remember that, then Zuko will know if she knows anything about the Avatar.

"I hope she remembers," Iroh says.

"Me too."

And he means it.

"Remember, when you block a punch, you deflect the fist with the back of your hand. You want to guide it away from you."

Zuko stands across from Katara, only a few feet away. "And keep your stance firm, like when you waterbend."

Katara holds her hands up, below her line of sight but in front of her face and neck. For the past three days Zuko has been teaching her some self-defense. She had asked to learn after watching him spar with some of his men. Her bending is strong enough to fend off almost any attack but she wants to be prepared in case she can't use her bending for some reason.

"So if I punch at you with right fist, you want to use your right hand to deflect it." Zuko moves his fist slowly toward her. "Make contact with his wrist and push it to the side. You just want to redirect the force."

Katara does so, moving slowly to learn the motion.

"Exactly. Now try it faster. I won't hit you."

For a few minutes they practice her blocking the punch, progressively getting faster. Katara focuses on the training, but a small part of her mind wonders at how patient Zuko is teaching her. Not once in the past few days has he yelled or made a sharp comment. He just takes a deep breath whenever she struggles to get something simple and then re-explains it in a level voice.

It's times like this that Katara really likes him. She feels like even though they're not talking about deep things that he's slowly letting his walls down. She's not sure if it's because he's starting to trust her or because he's taking a break from the stress of his mission. Either way, she likes this version of Zuko. She gets the feeling Iroh does, too; the old general has been in a better mood, too.

"You can block with the other hand, but it's more difficult because it takes a longer reaction time. The benefit of blocking with the opposite hand is that it leaves your opponent's body open for a counterattack. Try it."

Zuko slowly moves his fist towards her face again. She brings her left hand around and redirects the motion. Zuko freezes in place with his right arm outstretched. "You see? Easy to throw a punch of your own. I'm off-balance and only have one open hand to block with. And if I just threw a punch, that arm is probably down and not in a good position for defense."

Katara jokingly pretends to punch. He catches her fist easily in one hand and then brings it up to inspect. "All wrong. I'm teaching you how to throw a punch next." He releases her hand. "Let's practice blocking with your left hand first."

And so they spend the afternoon working on the very basic fighting and self-defense moves. Katara's forearms are red and sore by the time Zuko decides they've practiced enough for the day.

"Where did you learn to fight so well?" Katara asks as they drink from the water flasks Iroh had brought out for them.

"I attended the Royal Academy of Fire."

Katara almost spits out her water. She ends up choking and then tries to recover but the water is already going down the wrong pipes and she spends a minute coughing while Zuko stares at her.

"Don't laugh," he finally says when she's recovered. "It's a real place. And it's an extremely prestigious school in the Fire Nation. Even royals have to qualify just like everybody else."

She tries to imagine him in a school uniform, sitting in a class with a dozen other kids and raising his hand when he wants to speak. She just can't picture it. The Zuko she knows is restless and always doing something active - sparring with his crewmen, firebending, reading maps with the captain, monitoring the weather, etc.

"We don't really have schools in the Southern Water Tribe," she admits. "Our parents teach us to read and write and anything else that we need to learn. When we're old enough to help out around the village, the Elders take us on as apprentices."

Zuko shakes his head. "It's completely different in the Fire Nation. Almost everyone goes to school. Those who don't work in the fields. Our schools are extremely strict. No misbehavior is tolerated. Grades must be maintained. And our classes are a mix of bookwork, physical training, and, if you're a Bender, bending lessons."

"So you learned everything in school?"

"Well, I am royalty. My parents hired Master Firebenders to work with my sister and I from about the age of three. We learned the motions almost immediately after learning to walk. When we were old enough to manipulate fire, we were already familiar with the basic moves."

Katara has to admit that in some ways, she's a bit jealous. There were few Waterbenders in the Southern Tribes when she was growing up, and there was only one other woman in her village who could waterbend. As a result, no one even realized Katara was a bender until she was eight. The woman helped Katara as much as she could, but eventually Katara needed a master Waterbender to learn from. That was the summer she and Sokka went down to the North Pole.

Wait. She didn't remember all of those details before. Her memory is coming back!

She excitedly tells Zuko what she's just remembered. Although it's hard to tell, she thinks she senses an excited undertone when he responds.

"Maybe we won't need to go to Mount Taku anymore."

Katara almost instantly regrets saying anything. Going to Mount Taku is Zuko's break from his mission. He needs the break. She backpedals quickly.

"It was just a little memory, though. I don't want to get my hopes up too quickly. We should still go see this woman."

"We'll see. Right now we're still heading for Whale Tail Island. It's about a four day journey."

Katara isn't exactly excited about the Whale Tail Island stop. Zuko had said it was a base for Raiders. She doesn't like the sound of that. She hopes she improves quickly with her self defense lessons.

Zuko must be able to see her adverse reaction because he says, "Don't worry. The Raiders will respect us. We're Fire Nation. They answer to the Fire Lord."

Katara crosses her arms. "They respect you. I'm a girl from an extinct people group. They'll probably see me as some kind of fetish."

She sees Zuko's eyes widen. Of course he hadn't thought of that. He's a guy. Guys don't have to worry about the same things girls have to prepare for.

"You should stick with Iroh or me, then," he says. "But you are more than capable of defending yourself if you need to."

She appreciates his faith in her abilities, but she thinks she'll just stick with him and his uncle the entire time. She's a good Waterbender, but even she has her limits. And a whole island full of uncivilized soldiers is beyond her comfort zone.

"So, another lesson tomorrow?" she asks.

"Hold up your arms."

She does. She notes all her bruises with a wince. It hadn't hurt when they were practicing, but now that she sees the damage…

"You should take tomorrow off. We'll practice again the day after." He must sense her disappointment because he adds, "You're learning fast. Missing a day won't set you behind."

Once again Katara marvels at the amount of sensitivity in him. Yes, he can be bursting at the seams with uncontained anger at times, and he can be coarse and rude, but underneath that outer surface is a lot of compassion. Whatever happened to him in the past caused him to cover up that part of him, but he couldn't get rid of it. You can't truly change who you are as a person.

She feels frustrated that she doesn't know what happened to him. It's the same question she wonders at day after day after day, but no matter how close she and Zuko seem to get, he never even hints at it.

Maybe something will happen between now and Mount Taku that will get Zuko to open up her. She really hopes something will. Once she gets her memories back, they'll expect her to leave. And then she won't be able to help him.

Zuko thinks he's looking for whatever his mission has tasked him to look for, but Katara knows better. He's actually searching for who he is as a person. He's conflicted about who to be. She knows who he has the potential to be; she can only hope she has time to convince him that he wants to be that person, too.

Because at the end of the day, each person has to decide for themselves which path they're going to take. Katara just hopes Zuko takes the right path.