The following is a Work of Fan-Fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or are rearranged in disregard of actual Space and Time in a fictitious manner to suit the fantasy of this tale. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
Any intellectual properties, memes, or what-have-you's mentioned herein belong to their respective rights holders.
Tales from the ARKNIGHTS
As I thought, the Daily Lives of Operators is FUBAR
By A Deluded Middle-Aged Smart Aleck Gr00vyThunderb0ltJazzDuel
Prologue 1-3
"Hieee! Shining, s-save me!"
1000 \ Thunderstorm
Medical Bay \ Ark-1 Holding position 50Km outside Chernobog
Doctor Trigger: Oh YEAH, I'm in top form today too! Ain't that right, Rinrin?
An incredibly pale, yet impeccably manicured hand rapped a clipboard upon the Doctor's helmed head assertively.
Rinrin?: Bonk.
Doctor Trigger: Gah! Hey, hey, is that any way to treat your patient during a routine check-up, Rinrin?
Rinrin?: Bonk.
Doctor Trigger: Agh! Again? Are you even listening to me, Rinrin? This is definitely some kind of breach to the Hippocratic Oath!
Rinrin?: Bonk. Maybe your eyes need a checkup too, Doctor?
Doctor Trigger: Guh, Rinrin, I think I can feel my HP dropping! How about we give the cold shoulder act a rest and go straight to love-dovey…
Rinrin?: Bonk! Young man, I assure you there's no 'Rinrin' around here. For goodness' sake, read the ID badge properly!
Doctor Trigger: Ouch! But I am though, there's totally a Rinrin in 'War-Fa-Rin', see?
Warfarin's clipboard armed hand mercifully stayed its next blow, as the ghoulish crimson eyed "girl" knit her brows in frustration.
Warfarin: Ah, certainly, the source of your inspiration becomes self-evident.
Doctor Trigger: Right, right! Doesn't it sound way cuter than Warfarin?
Warfarin: Ahem, it's probably... not half bad.
Doctor Trigger: So, you're going to keep it? Right, right?
Despite herself, Warfarin's cheeks flushed red
Warfarin: Listen up, I do not have a problem with being treated beneath my age and status, so long as you youngsters stick to my prescribed course of treatment.
Doctor Trigger: Eh, what's that got to do with this? I'm just saying Rinrin sounds totally cuter than War-Fa-RIN!
Warfarin: Ack, y-you! There's a limit to the kind of horseplay you should fool around with during working hours, you realize?
Doctor Trigger: Oh, so you do like Rinrin! I knew I was on the right track.
Warfarin sought out the flimsy privacy of the clipboard in a vain attempt to manage her furious blush.
Warfarin: Ah, this cheeky, clueless brat! Amnesia, my fangs. I might not have been a big fan of the Old Trigger, somehow always staying a step or three ahead of me. But you? Gosh, it's like you're a puppy inviting me to have you all to myself!
Doctor Trigger: Uhh, and that's a problem how?
Warfarin: Of course, that's a big problem, young man! Y-You're s-seducing me! Ah, that mysterious, captivating blood smells even more delightful than before.
Doctor Trigger: ...Yo, Warfarin.
Warfarin: No! Rinrin is fine! Please, don't shy away now. I won't bite, I promise!
Doctor Trigger: Ah, sure. But you're totally hyperventilating and salivating, did you miss breakfast? (I think I stumbled over a switch for Rinrin accidentally that I could've been better off not knowing about. Maybe, just maybe. I might be in a bit of danger here!?)
Warfarin: F-Fool! Don't underestimate a trained professional. Being from the Vampire bloodline among the Sarkaz has its challenges, but I can absolutely, positively tell the difference between patients and food!
Doctor Trigger: ...Oh. O-OH! I… I see. A-ah, ah ha ha ha. So that's totally NOT why you were getting frisky all of a sudden?
Warfarin: F-Frisky? M-Me? No. No, no, no, no! Y-You're mistaken. This is just banter between… F-friends! With benefits! Yes yes, brand new besties for life! A-ah, ah ha ha ha…
A knock on the door to the examination room mercifully interrupted the awkward atmosphere, as Doctor Trigger all but leapt out of his seat for this opportune lifeline.
Doctor Trigger: C'MON IN! (Help! I need an adult STAT!)
Amiya: Doctor, I brought brunch to go!
Shocked out of her fiendish infatuation by said interruption, Warfarin hid behind her clipboard to compose herself. Yes, her prey… Test subject… Erm, collaborator may have gotten away today, but her chance would come again to convince him into cooperating with her in many passionate scientific pursuits yet!
Doctor Trigger: What we got cooking in that mysterious lunchbox?
Amiya: Reconstituted, Amiya-remixed dodo noodle soup with mixed vegetables, a side of week old bread, and seltzer water to wash it down. Not the best fair we got, but given our situation, I gave it my all in the kitchens to make it work. On the honor of my Junior Chef, First-class rating, this course is definitely delicious!
Doctor Trigger: Awesometacular, my baby girl! Gimmie, gimmie, gimmie, please!
Amiya: Bon appetit!
Doctor Trigger: Yaaaaaaassssssssss! Praise the calories!
Warfarin: Ahem, President Amiya, if I may interject?
Amiya: Oh! Of course, Doctor Warfarin. S-Sorry about getting carried away in the moment.
Amiya blushed, her long Catus ears fidgeting bashfully in place. Charming moments like these reminded Rhodes Islanders lucky enough to be present that their leader was still very much a teenage girl at heart.
Warfarin: Here's the Doctor's chart. (Ahhh, Amiya is a good one too, but that stingy Kal'tsit would nail me to a cross in a heartbeat if I laid hands… Ahem, encouraged her to join hands with me in the name of Science!)
Amiya: Right. Anything unusual turn up?
Warfarin: Aside from the fact, he should be in rehab and under close observation until he has made a full recovery? No. Our man is functional, but his insistence to take part in this coming operation on the frontline is… Foolishly inspiring.
Amiya: Miss Warfarin, we did try to talk him out of it, but I am convinced Rainfall will only achieve its full potential with him in the field. Besides, right now he is the only person with Administrative access to PTRS.
Warfarin: Yes, yes, and Kal'tsit is a long way off in Lungmen. Too far away to stop us from doing the impossible... or die trying.
Amiya frowned and set the chart aside, as the Doctor noisily consumed his meal with gusto. The man appeared to be lost in his own euphoric paradise while the two leading ladies sized each other up.
Amiya: Miss Warfarin, I appreciate your candor last night as I do now, but PTRS has the last-known positions of their cufflinks in Chernobog. Our mission here is not finished until everyone is accounted for. Dead or alive, we are bringing them home.
Despite the vast experience of her long-lived years, Warfarin wilted under the searing iron-willed conviction blazing in Amiya's young blue eyes. If the virtuous, yet pragmatic Bridges could not dissuade Amiya last night, what chance did she have, especially when her own heart was not committed to the challenge?
Doctor Trigger: Don't forget about the refugees… Nom nom nom... Oh, and that sweet, sweet loot! Food, water, medical supplies, clothes, intel, and all that good stuff. After everything we went through yesterday, no way in heck we're letting Reunion get away scott free.
Warfarin: Oh fine, you reckless youths! ...Please, just don't make me responsible for your last rites.
Amiya: Thank you, Miss Warfarin.
Warfarin: That being said, if you're planning to recruit me for your volunteer squad, count me out.
Amiya: ...Eh. Um, w-well, that's unfortunate. I was hoping…
Warfarin: No, not happening. We already burned enough bridges to last a year this morning. Besides, if I go into the field, who's going to run the ICU? Machias can handle day to day, but he's no surgeon and the other doctors are… Mostly high functioning, dysfunctional specialists. Sanity is at a premium around here for obvious reasons lately.
Doctor Trigger: Okay okay, so you're saying that if we… Om nom nom! ...need somebody to fill up our spots for Medics, we have free reign to go cajole whoever?
Warfarin sighed and rolled her eyes skyward for temperance and dignity's sake.
Warfarin: Within good taste, please.
Doctor Trigger: Any good leads?
Warfarin: Considering the mission you two took? I imagine you're looking for promising personnel who punch above their weight in a fight?
Amiya: Miss Warfarin, if you're suggesting Miss Shining, I believe Miss Nearl might have a few words...
Warfarin's eyes grew wide as if she had just choked on her own phlegm.
Warfarin: You fool! Why did you speak her-
An audible stampede of hurried footsteps ushered in the named individual so fast, the door to the examination room hardly had enough time to get out of the way of its own slam.
Nearl: Amiya, the word has reached my ears! What is this mad gambit you seek to cast!?
Naturally, the door broke off its hinges and crashed unto the floor. Warfarin seethed, rubbing a soothing palm to her throbbing temples with a sharp glare at the perpetrator of the mess.
Warfarin: Radiant Knight, that one is going on your tab.
Nearl: Ah! ...m-my apologies, I can fix… eek!
A deeply pained spasmed gripped the blonde-haired Kuranta woman as she bent down to reach for the fallen door, paralyzing her on the spot.
Warfarin: Oh ho ho ho, what do we have here?
Nearl: Guh, a m-moment please. I m-must gather my resolve-
Warfarin: Poke.
Nearl: Guwahhh! M-Miss Warfarin, y-you misunderstand. Th-this is…
Warfarin: Oh, so you're perfectly fine, aren't you? Ignoring prescribed orders for mandatory rest and recuperation, huh? Poke.
Nearl: Hiiieee!
Amiya sweated and shared a look with Doctor Trigger in a plea for support. If she was to intervene, it would be much easier with some backup.
Doctor Trigger: Nope.
Amiya: B-But, Doctor…!
Doctor Trigger: Amiya, getting between a medical professional and a stubborn patient is a recipe for bad times. If anything, we should pray Nearl's primary care physician shows up to rescue her from Warfarin's tender, loving bedside manner sooner rather than later.
Amiya sweated harder in incredulity. Nearl might have brought the current shenanigans on herself by willfully barging in here uninvited, but Warfarin might be enjoying the moment just a bit much(?).
?: Good grief, Margaret. I advised you to stay in bed and mind your vigor.
Amiya: Ah, Miss Shining!
Though she came unbidden without any fanfare, the serene presence of the mysterious hooded Sarkaz healer added some desperately needed dignity to the hour's proceedings.
Doctor Trigger: Oh… Nom! ...that's Shining?
Amiya: Yes, allow me to introduce… D-Doctor, you're still eating?
Doctor Trigger: Well, duh, you packed enough in here for two people, baby girl. Did you expect to just save some for later?
Amiya: Eh heh heh, sorry, I am too used to people vacuuming up food around here.
Nearl: Oh my, that smells quite good-
Warfarin: Poke.
Nearl: Gyaahhhh, wh-why?!
Shining giggled politely into her raised bandaged fist.
Shining: Perhaps, this will be a good lesson to obey your bed rest, Margaret.
Doctor Trigger: Wait, Margaret? Margaret who? I don't see a Margaret around here?
Warfarin: She means this little quixotic fool right here. Poke. It's her actual first name.
Nearl: Eeek! Th-that's not true at all. I am the very picture of a pragmatic, realistic warrior. I entertain no girlish dreams of-
Warfarin: Then what in Hades are you doing here, when you should be resting in the room next door?
Nearl: At the behest of your call, my feet carried me here of their own accord!
Warfarin: Poke.
Nearl: Hiiieee! ...hah, I am not sure how much more body can take of this sadomasochistic play…
Warfarin: Oh, sadomasochistic, is it? Maybe I should give you a full body hug and assist you back to your appointed bed rest in a cast, yes?
Nearl: ...My apologies, Doctor Warfarin. It was a jest. A poor one, but a jest in good faith!
Warfarin: Is that so? You realize, suddenly, I have become infatuated with the suggestion of hearing the answer straight from your B-O-D-Y actually. I hear, it is much, much more honest than what your lips have to say.
Nearl: Hieee! Shining, s-save me!
Doctor Trigger: Om nom nom nom?! (Day-um, this is getting good.)
Amiya shot a pleading look to Shining. Her platonic concern of the soon-to-be scandalous proceedings eroding the Doctor's fragile mental health on full display in Cautus girl's panicked blue eyes. Right now was not one of Rhodes Island's respectable moments by a long shot!
Shining smiled and clapped her hands together.
Shining: Doctor Warfarin, as much as I appreciate you teasing Margaret on my behalf, I think we have agitated her wounds enough to remind her to stay in bed, at least for today.
Warfarin: Tsk, oh fine. Go on, O Radiant Knight. I hope today was a lesson learned through that gloriously thick head of yours. Getting half roasted alive by a demonic she-dragon one day, and expecting to walk it off like nothing happened the next day is a fantasy. Know yourself, and respect your limits, especially for the sake of those who care for you.
Nearl: Ah ha ha, I will take it to heart.
Doctor Trigger: Huh, how about that? Didn't think Rinrin had it in her to be an actual respectable adult!
Warfarin colored furiously and shot the Doctor a scandalized squeal.
Warfarin: Y-You fool, of course I am a respectable adult. And wh-wh-why are you bringing up that pet name now!?
Shining: Rinrin, is it?
Nearl: Oh ho, that has quite the splendid ring to it. Rinrin, Rinrin, Rinrin, hmhmm! I welcome this appellation wholeheartedly.
Amiya: Rinrin, Rinrin, Rinrin!
Warfarin: Ahhhh, f-fools! Y-You fools. The whole lot of you, fools! Don't I get a say in this as the subject matter!?
Doctor Trigger: Nope, you're stuck with it, Rinrin. Nom!
Footnotes:
Operator [Margaret Nearl]
Codename: Nearl
A former knight of Kazimierz who opposed the rot of depravity worming its way through the Chivalric Order. Her enemies ousted from her homeland when she contracted Oripathy in an "accident". They stripped Nearl of her legacy by foul machinations and sneering villainy, but none could take the chivalric spirit of Nobility residing within her.
Though reduced to a mere commoner, the Radiant Knight now more than ever shined brilliantly as an exemplar "Knight of Rhodes Island". Many Operators believe so long as she stood on the battlefield, no foe could truly snatch victory from Rhodes Island.
"Guh, my dreams of the Cool Radiant Idol Knight… like, totally got crushed the moment we returned to base!" - Junior Operator
"Well, I mean… You get used to it? Our Island is pretty much full of super awesome weirdos like that." Senior Operator
"Bah, filthy casuals! The total cognitive dissonance between her warface and chillax-at-home face is what creates the captivating gap moe of Nearl-sama!" - Nearl Fan 1
"Preach it, my brethren! Preach it!" - Nearl Fan 2
"See, what I mean?" Senior Operator