Disclaimer: All rights belong to Nickelodeon, Bryan Konietzko, Michael Dante DiMartino, and all the men and women that created the A:TLA show, books, and comics. I take no credit, and I do not mean to break any copyright rules. This is simply a work of fiction made for enjoyment. No money is being made. The lyrics are from the song "Already Gone" by Kelly Clarkson
Rating: General Audiences. Warning: some scenes contain dark themes and minor violence
Author's Note: I've had a few readers ask about a playlist to go with all the song lyrics from the chapters, and I thought that was a great idea so I went ahead and made a spotify playlist. I put all the songs from the chapters that I felt fit - there were a few songs that only had a couple lines that fit, so I didn't include those. I also added a couple songs that didn't have the right lyrics but had the right vibe. I also kept the songs in chronological order with the story. I'll keep updating it every few weeks as I post more chapters. You can listen here: open. /playlist/4a0Uwc6dBx2yJhSrkYhUyH (remove the space after open. )
Chapter 4 - Greetings and Farewells
Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories are haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye
Even with our fists held high
Never would have worked out right
We were never meant for do or die
I didn't come here to hurt you
Now I can't stop
Zuko can see it in the horizon. Ember Island. He remembers going there every summer as a child. Some of his happiest memories are running across the beach with Azula, back before everything was a competition and during a time when they actually got along. His mother would be sitting on the beach, watching them with a smile on her face. Their father would be inside, talking with fellow generals.
He shoves the nostalgia away. That's not his destination, anyway. They're only hours away from the palace. He's too deep in the Fire Nation to be threatened by anything or anyone. He's safe. He's home.
He feels so unsettled. He was prepared to feel like this, but not to this extent. He knows he's changed. He knows he's grown and learned and sacrificed. He has worked hard for this return. So why does he feel like he doesn't deserve it?
Has he sacrificed too much?
He thinks of Iroh. His uncle had been by his side from the very first day of his banishment. He'd coached Zuko in firebending, helped him navigate his new life on the water, taught him patience and dignity. And after all that happened, Iroh had left right before Zuko's moment of victory. Why? Why would Iroh leave him when he's finally achieved his dreams?
And Katara. Zuko doesn't even want to think about her but he can't help himself. She grew close to him despite the space he always tries to maintain. She became his friend despite all his rough edges. She became more than a friend despite his flaws. And he still betrayed her.
She still protected him even after his betrayal. She could have easily let him die. And how did he thank her? He locked her right back up again.
It's not her fault she's the Avatar. Zuko never wanted this to happen. He never gets what he wants. That's not his life.
He wishes he had never met Katara. He wouldn't have his honor, but he also wouldn't have this massive guilt hanging off of him. He needs to get rid of it somehow. He can't live with his father and his sister and feel guilty. They'll see right through him. And they'll read it as regret and not guilt.
He has to talk to her. One last time. He knows he has to, and he dreads it. He can't face her after what he's done to her - but he must.
But not yet. It will be the last thing he does. For now, he'll take in the views of his home. It's been almost three long years.
He knows he's meant to be here, no matter how he feels. That's the one feeling that he can identify confidently. This is his destiny.
"We'll dock at the palace city harbor in less than an hour," the navigator tells Zuko. He can sense the excitement in his entire crew as they draw near to their homes. They've served him faithfully these last years, but they're just as eager to return home as he is.
"Good." Zuko dismisses him. He's been putting it off all day, but now it's time. If he's going to talk to Katara, it has to be now. The sun is setting and his home is almost in sight. Now is the time for goodbyes.
He heads down the ship straight to the bottom where Katara is being held. He stands in front of her cell. She has her back turned to him and she doesn't turn when he enters. Although it hurts, he knows he deserves it. He can't fault her for her rational feelings.
"I know you're mad at me," he says. "I'm not here to apologize. Not because I'm not sorry, but because I know I don't deserve your forgiveness.
"I came because I want you to understand why I had to betray you. I didn't want to, you know. It was the hardest decision of my life. But my destiny is more than just me and you. My destiny affects my entire nation. Maybe even all the nations. I can't turn my back on that. Just like you can't turn your back on being the Avatar."
She doesn't respond, doesn't even move. He expected as much.
"I shouldn't have let you get close to me. I should have kept my distance. I was stupid, and now you're suffering from my mistake. I want you to know that it's not personal. I would have given up anyone who turned out to be the Avatar."
There's so much he wants to say. So much he needs her to understand. But he promised himself he wouldn't grovel. That would only hurt her more. And it would be weak of him. He doesn't need her forgiveness. He did what he had to do.
"This is goodbye," he finishes. "We're almost at the palace city. I promise you'll never have to see me again. You'll be treated fairly here. We're not monsters. We're just waging a war."
He doesn't know what else to say so he begins to leave. After taking a couple steps, he turns back. She still hasn't moved, but he can see her eyes sparkling, her lower lip quivering. He's not sure if she's heartbroken or angry. Either way, he can see that she still doesn't understand. Not fully.
"Remember the night we looked at the stars?" he asks, lowering his voice. "The moral of the story of the bears. Sometimes we have to let go." of the people we love, he doesn't add. He doesn't need to. She heard the words just as he did that night.
He knows he probably made things worse, but at least she understands now. And if she hates him for it, then he can't blame her.
When he's at the doorway, she speaks, freezing him in place.
"You're letting go of the wrong people."
He doesn't turn around because he knows he's too vulnerable right now. He silently walks out, glad she doesn't say anything more.
He doesn't feel any better. He tells himself that he just needs to sleep it off, distract himself. He'll forget her soon enough. He can return to his life and he'll forget about the girl who taught him about the stars and watched fireworks for the first time with him and showed him how to have fun. He'll forget about the girl who gave him warmth despite his coldness. He'll forget about the girl who saved his life multiple times. He'll forget about the girl who believed that he was meant for more.
He'll never forget about Katara.
How can he forget about her? He only knew her for a few weeks but she became such a huge part of his life. He can still see the brightness of her eyes, and joy in smile, feel the coolness of her skin against his. And he can see the hurt and betrayal etched deep into her face when he took her prisoner.
This is the price for his weakness, for his vulnerability. He should have been cold, like Azula. He should have been calculating, like his father. Instead he was stupid and opened himself up and now he has to live with what he's done. It must be so much easier to live without regret and guilt. Azula doesn't think twice about hurting others as long as it benefits her. Why can't Zuko think like that?
He takes a deep breath and attempts to calm his mind. He's about to step foot on Fire Nation soil for the first time in almost three years. He wants to enjoy this moment.
This is his destiny.
At least, that's what he keeps telling himself.
Katara doesn't react throughout Zuko's entire little speech. She can't. She feels so much anger that she's not sure what will happen if she opens her mouth.
Katara is known for her compassion and gentleness. What most people don't know is how much darkness there is inside of her. She can hold a grudge forever. She lets anger simmer inside and once it's directed at someone, there's no hope for them. They can prove time and time again that they've changed, that they're sorry, and her anger will not fade.
The rational part of her head knows that Zuko is just being honest. He came to attempt to show her that it's not about her, it's about his destiny. Not a good motive, but an understandable one. But her heart, which has been so many ups and downs since she woke from the ice, rebels. It's bursting with barely contained anger.
She holds her knees tightly to her chest, trying to keep herself from jumping up and slamming her fists into the wall or against the bars and screaming.
She can feel when the ship anchors. She can hear the guards' footsteps coming down the stairs some time later. She manages to contain herself until they open her cell door and pull on her arms. Then she leaps up and starts fighting them off. The rush of energy and the physical action of the fight brings her life that she's been sorely missing the last few days locked up in the cell.
She flips the first guard over and he hits the floor with a dull thud. She bashes her elbow into the next soldier's face. She spins and delivers a solid chop to the third's midsection and when he doubles over, she hits him in the back of the head.
A whip of fire blows by in the air, an inch from her face. She looks up in shock and sees four guards facing her, arms outstretched.
"We don't want to hurt you," one says. "Cooperate."
Katara frantically searches for anything water to bend, but there's nothing. The water outside the ship is too far, and if she summoned it down here she'd destroy the entire ship, herself included. She doesn't have a chance against four Firebenders when she has no bending abilities. It kills her, but she puts her hands up and allows them to secure her hands behind her back.
They escort her up on deck and then across the plank to the dock. Katara can feel all the water in the harbor but she can't move it. Not with her hands secured tightly. She feels so helpless.
There's no sign of Zuko. He must have really meant it when he said she'd never have to see him again. Good.
Instead, a line of Fire Nation soldiers stretch into the distance as far as she can see. More nobles and their families stand behind the soldiers, watching curiously. Hundreds of eyes on her as she's marched past walls of stone and towards a long staircase up a cliff. The palace must lie on the top.
It's humiliating. Katara holds her head up the entire time, trying to summon all the courage she can. She knows her worth. She knows that she's strong. She knows she has honor, dignity, integrity. It's not her fault she trusted the wrong person and got betrayed.
When the procession finally reaches the front of the palace, where only soldiers are, Katara is greeted by a familiar face.
"So my brother did manage to deliver you here," the princess, Azula, says. She looks condescending at Katara. "The Avatar. What a joke."
Katara glares at her. "Free me and you'll see how powerful I am."
The girl laughs. "Oh, you're funny," she says, wiping her eyes. "You're just lucky Zuko got to you before I did. I wouldn't have left such a big threat alive. Of course, it turns out that you aren't such a big threat, after all."
Azula turns to the guards. "Take her away. She is to have no contact or exposure to water of any type. If she escapes, it's on your heads."
"Yes, my lady."
They drag her past the palace and through a back road towards a mountain. The mountain is carved out on the inside and Katara is taken past cells full of prisoners. They all look up at her sadly. She wonders whether they know she's the Avatar or not. Based on their expressions, they think she's just another poor young girl who found disfavor with the Fire Nation.
It makes sense that the Fire Nation wouldn't make it public knowledge that they found and captured the Avatar. That would lead to prison break attempts. Most likely they'll tell the people of the Fire Nation as war propaganda but not the people of other nations. Word will spread eventually, of course, but who will believe it? The world thinks that the Avatar is gone. They've given up hope.
Katara is taken deep into the prison. They finally deposit her in a cell made entirely out of metal. No wood, no water. Only a small torch just outside the cell in the hallway to provide light. There's no way she can escape. Not until she gets her hands on some water, of course.
She doesn't even have any cell mates. No blankets. No food yet. It isn't cold but it isn't warm, either. She feels like she's stuck in the middle.
She sits down against the back wall and crosses her arms. As far as she can tell, she'll spend the rest of her life in this cell. She thinks she'll go crazy before too long. She hopes it's sooner rather than later.
The prospect of being here for more than a few hours is already enough to drive her crazy.
"Well done."
Zuko turns around to see Azula hanging in the doorway of his room. He's seated on the edge of his bed, holding an old artist rendition of their family. It's an old one - back before Zuko was scarred and banished, before their mother left. He doesn't recognize himself in it.
He sets it down and stands. "It doesn't feel real yet," he confesses. "I've dreamed of this day for so long. Now I can't believe it."
Azula shrugs. "That's your problem." She turns around and makes a motion. "I brought some guests."
Zuko watches as two girls walk in behind Azula. "Ty Lee," he acknowledges. "And…Mai."
"Hey, Zuko." She has a slight smile on her face, which is a lot of emotion for her.
He isn't sure how he feels about seeing her again. He's happy, yeah, because she was his best friend growing up (when Azula wasn't taunting them, of course). He enjoys being around her. But he also isn't sure what she expects from him. They were together before he was banished. Does she expect him to pick up where they left off? He's a different person now. She has probably changed, too.
"It's nice to see you all again," he says. "It's like I never left."
It's a blatant lie and they all know it. But they also don't know what else to say. Deep down, past the nobility and royal blood and what they've done with their lives, they're all still children. Teenagers. They've lived a lifetime in only a few years.
"Father wants to speak with you tomorrow," Azula says, breaking the silence. "I'm surprised he found time so early in his schedule. It's a good sign."
Zuko glances at the old family photo. His father has a hand on Azula's shoulder. Azula has always been his father's pride. She never has to have an appointment with him. Zuko has always been lucky to find a five minute time slot here and there.
"Will he accept me?"
"You captured the Avatar. Of course he'll welcome you back. That's what he sent you to do."
"But he didn't actually expect me to complete the mission." Zuko swallows. "I was never supposed to return."
Azula waves him off. "Stop being dramatic. You proved yourself. Now, come. I want to show you and the girls the changes we've made around the palace while you all have been gone."
Zuko exchanges glance with Mai. Then he reluctantly gets up and they follow her out of his room and into the hallway.
"Just wait until we get to the new bathhouse," Azula gushes. "It's amazing." She turns back to Zuko and grins. "Maybe you can finally wash off the smell of salt water and smoke. You smell like you've been at sea for years."
Maybe because I have, he thinks. He looks over at Mai, who is walking next to him.
She shrugs. "Don't look at me. She's the one who said it."
And just like that, Zuko falls back into his old life. In a weird way, it really does feel as if nothing has changed.
Nothing has changed, and everything has changed.
Sokka and Suki find Oyaji sitting on his porch, handing out sweets to the village children. When he sees them he finishes quickly and then herds the children away.
Suki steps forward. "Sokka received a note," she explains. "It's signed with a symbol. Do you know if it means anything?"
The older man takes the scroll and reads the letter quickly before glancing at the flower. His eyes brighten. "This is good news indeed, young Sokka," he says. "That flower is the white lotus."
"So what does it mean?" he asks.
"The white lotus is the symbol of an ancient, secret society. I only know of its existence because my father was a part of it. Any one of their members could have sent you this letter, but that sign vouches for its legitimacy." Oyaji hands the scroll back.
"But how do they know about her? And how do they know about me? I've only talked to people on this island."
"Your sister was lucky to encounter one of the members. She must have told them about you." Oyaji scratches his beard. "Captured by the Fire Nation, though. That's tough."
"I have to get her back." Sokka tucks the scroll carefully into his bag. "She's all I have left."
"That's a mission you most likely won't come back from," Oyaji warns. He looks sadly at Sokka.
"I don't care. She'd do it for me, if our places were switched." Sokka glances around. "Do you have any information about the Fire Nation here?"
The village leader shakes his head. "No. We only know what we've seen of them."
Sokka thanks him and walks away, feeling dejected. He has to get Katara back. But how? He knows better than anyone else that you can't just rush into a rescue attempt with no plan. Plans are important.
Suki catches up to him and lays a hand on his arm. "I understand how hard this must be for you," she says. "If you need anything, I'm willing to help."
He looks over at her and smiles. "Thank you. That means a lot. Right now, I need to make a plan. I need information. Where am I supposed to get that?"
She is silent for a moment. Then she says, "Well...there is one option."
"What?"
She points in the distance. "Whale Tail Island. It's a base for Southern Raiders - Fire Nation soldiers. Maybe we can find information there."
A plan starts to form in Sokka's mind. He can barely hold his excitement in. "This is what I'm going to do," he says. "I'm going to travel there, sneak onto the base, and kidnap a soldier. Make him tell me what he knows about Fire Nation prisons. If he doesn't know, I'll take another one and another one until I find someone who knows something."
"One problem with that plan of yours," Suki says.
He frowns. "What?"
She smiles. "You forgot to include me in it."
His jaw drops. "You - you'd come with me?"
"Of course. You're a good fighter, Sokka, and brave - but even you can't infiltrate a Fire Nation base alone. Besides, it won't help your sister if you get caught before you even make it to the Fire Nation."
He stares at her for a minute and then can't resist giving her a big hug. "Thank you so much."
Suki laughs. "No, thank you. This is going to be fun."