A/N: Back again! This one is angsty, but fun! Hope you enjoy!

6. I'm sorry kiss

It had been a tough case for everyone, and the utter depravity they had witnessed over the last few days had them all on edge. Cases like these tested their humanity and their ability to compartmentalize and push their emotions out of the way in order to do their job safely.

Emily had let her anger and frustration get the best of her, running after an armed suspect with little care for her own well being. She had ignored the yells from both JJ and Hotch as she sprinted into the building, her blood pumping at the thought of being too late to save the little girl they were looking for. She knew she had been lucky, escaping the incident with only a few cuts and a bruised rib, but in the moment she hadn't been able to stop herself.

JJ was angry, rightfully so, and they had argued back at the precinct, JJ reminding Emily that she wasn't impervious to the dangers of the job. Emily argued that the ends justified that means, pointing out the fact that they had saved a life today. JJ had deflated in front of Emily, knowing she couldn't fully express the depths of fear and anger that she was feeling towards her girlfriend.

They had reached a stalemate in the lobby of the precinct, and were silent in the back of the SUV as Hotch drove them all back to the hotel. Emily watched JJ's anger boil as they stood quietly in the elevator, giving Hotch a soft nod before the two women stepped off and headed down the hallway. He shot back a small smile of understanding, knowing all too well the strain this job put on a relationship.

The door swung open violently, thudding against the wall as they walked back into their shared hotel room. JJ and Emily walked into the room in silence, tossing their bags onto the king-sized bed. Emily moved across the room to a plush chair, sitting down to start working at her boots, when she realized that JJ was staring at her.

"I know you saved a life today, Emily, and I don't want to belittle that," she started, taking a slow breath before continuing, "but I need you to realize that your life is not expendable, we need you here."

Emily's chest tightened when she heard JJ's voice crack, tears starting to spill down the blonde's cheeks. JJ wiped at them quickly, annoyed that this conversation was happening again.

They had fought about this before, a few times in fact- Emily always chastising JJ for treating her like a child, reminding the younger woman that she was an adult that could take care of herself. JJ would always leave the conversations feeling invalidated and unheard, her eyes shining a little less bright than before, and Emily would be left to try and make sense of it all.

Jayje, Emily whispered, not sure how to respond. She had spent her whole life not sure that anyone would care if she was gone, and that translated into some foolishly brave actions when it came to this job.

"I'm going to take a shower," JJ said after a few minutes of silence, tired of waiting for Emily to say something. She knew that Emily would catch the strain in her voice, and moved quickly to turn on the shower to mask the noise of the sobs she knew were coming.

She loved Emily, and knew that Emily loved her. The statement had been shared between them a million times, but JJ had a hard time believing it when Emily's actions stated otherwise. She wouldn't make it if Emily died, and didn't know how the brunette could be selfish enough to run head first into life-threatening situations without so much as a second thought.

She stripped out of her clothes, tossing them onto the floor before stepping into the large shower, letting the hot water and steam consume her. JJ lasted a few minutes before the weight of the day actually caught up with her. There had been a gunshot today, and for a split second today, she had thought Emily was dead.

A shiver ran down her spine when she remembered the way her whole body had seemed to stop functioning, her limbs so heavy that she couldn't move, never seeming to be able to get enough air to her lunch. The panic and grief she had felt then came rushing back to her now, and she sunk down onto the tile floor, wrapping her arms around her knees and finally let herself fall apart.

Seconds after JJ had walked into the bathroom, Emily's brain had caught up to the reality of the situation. She had been telling herself for months that JJ wanted to control her, but in the silence of the hotel room she let herself consider a different option.

Her own insecurities seemed insurmountable at times, and she still had a hard time believing that she was worthy of the love that her team showed her. There was always a small voice in the back of her head telling her she wasn't enough, that she could never be enough, but over the last ten months she had heard it less and less.

It hit her then that JJ showed her more love than words could ever convey. Every perfectly timed soft touch or cup of coffee was a testament to the love and commitment JJ had for Emily. Emily knew that she was genuine and sincere every time she told JJ she loved her, nothing could change that, but she asked herself if her actions were aligned with her sentiments.

She knew that every time she ran into a dangerous situation, or failed to take necessary precautions, she was putting her own life at risk, it hadn't really sunk in until now that she was also carrying JJ's wellbeing with her.

Emily thought about the few times JJ had been in harm's way, the fear and aching that came along with the idea of the younger woman no longer being in her life.

She got up slowly, trading her blazer and work pants for some cotton underwear and an oversized t-shirt. She debated going to check on JJ and letting the woman know that she was sorry, but figured she would give her some space before they continued their conversation.

When she heard a sob from the bathroom, thoughts of giving her space flew out the window. She walked quickly, heart clenching when she saw that the door wasn't closed all the way, only cracked- she hesitated for a moment before pushing at the wood and stepping in.

JJ hadn't heard her come in, and Emily saw her small form on the floor of the shower, back heaving with every sob. Emily's felt her own tears start to fall, angry at herself for being the cause of the pain she could see in JJ.

She took a few steps forward, pulling at the glass door and stepping in the shower without any care for the clothes she was wearing. JJ's head lifted slightly, eyes red and swollen, a defeated look on her face as she met Emily's gaze. Sitting down next to JJ, she pulled the smaller woman into her arms, both of their tears mingling with the water rushing down on them.

JJ moved after a few minutes of silence, throwing a leg over Emily so that she could sink down onto the woman's lap. She let her arms fall around Emily's neck, her head coming to rest on the slope of her neck, and placed a soft kiss at the skin she found.

"I'm so sorry," Emily whispered between slow breaths, trying her best to reign in her own grief and sadness.

JJ pulled her head back so she could look into Emily's eyes as she spoke.

"You scared me, Emily," she spoke through tears, "when we heard the shot I thought you were dead."

Emily let out a quick breath, sure now that her previous conclusions had been correct. She didn't know what else to say, knew that it would take time for her actions to match the words she spoke to JJ.

"I'm so sorry," were the only words she could form, letting her hands cradle JJ's head and pressing her lips gently against the other woman's. She tried to pour everything she was feeling into the kiss, taking her time and leaving a trail of I'm sorry's down JJ's jaw and neck.

The kiss ebbed and flowed from slow and gentle to passionate and frenzied, both women needing a tangible reminder that they were here, together. JJ slowed the kiss down eventually, moving her lips to press a kiss to Emily's cheeks, leaving one on her forehead before pulling back.

"I love you," she told Emily, her words resolute and firm, "but you have to start being careful."

Emily nodded slowly, letting herself be anchored to the moment by the soft fingers running through her wet hair.

"I promise," Emily responded after a few moments of deep thought. She wanted a lifetime with JJ, and she knew that started with making sure she was around to live it.

It wouldn't be easy, and they both knew the road ahead of them would be riddled with challenges, but right now sharing kissing and sweet words underneath the slowly cooling water of the shower, they felt like they might just have a shot.