Disclaimer: All rights belong to Nickelodeon, Bryan Konietzko, Michael Dante DiMartino, and all the men and women that created the A:TLA show, books, and comics. I take no credit, and I do not mean to break any copyright rules. This is simply a work of fiction made for enjoyment. No money is being made. The lyrics are from the song "Rise" by Andra Day

Rating: General Audiences. Warning: some scenes contain dark themes and minor violence

Author's Note: Last day of vacation :( I haven't been self isolating, but really, how am I supposed to when I work with people full time? And especially because I work in an essential industry, so my work won't even shut down if the government does. Anyway, I hope you guys are faring better and please stay healthy!

Chapter 14 - Mixed Signals

You're broken down and tired

And you can't find the fighter

But I see it in you

And I'll rise up

High like the waves

I'll rise up

In spite of the ache

And I'll do it a thousand times again

Zuko is lying on his bed, fingering his golden flame headpiece, when the knock sounds on his door. He doesn't particularly want to see anyone right now, but he knows he can't just hide in his room forever.

"Come in," he calls out.

The door opens and he looks up to see Azula standing in the doorway. He's actually quite surprised that she knocked instead of just barging in. Something is up.

"What now?" he calls out wearily, returning his gaze to the piece of metal in his hand.

"I'm come to apologize," Azula declares, her tone of voice way off for someone trying to make amends. If there's one thing Zuko and his sister have in common, it's that they're not used to apologizing. They were taught from a young age to never acknowledge their mistakes.

"Why? And please don't tell me it's out of the goodness of your heart."

She sighs loudly. "Maybe if you didn't always complain about the way I do things then you could see that I am actually trying to help you. I planned the Ember Island trip for you. I asked Dad if we could quell the rebellion in Omashu for you. I'm trying to be a better sister."

He sets the headpiece down and rolls over so that he's facing her. "Why? How does it benefit you?"

She groans. "I am selfish, Zuko, but I'm not heartless. At least not completely."

"Ah, yes. Not completely heartless. That's why you smiled when Dad burned half my face off."

Her face falls slightly. Not enough that most people would notice, but Zuko knows her well enough to see it.

"I was eleven years old. I adored Father. I got caught up in the moment. And, quite honestly, I was happy because I knew I'd finally be his favorite."

"Finally? You were always his favorite! He was embarrassed of me. All he talked about was you and how you were a firebending prodigy!" He can't keep the bitterness out of his voice.

Azula sighs. "Fine. You're right. I was his favorite. You know why? Because I am stronger than you are. I always was. Father appreciates strength."

Zuko lays back down and stares at the ceiling. "You're making me feel so much better."

"Let me finish. When I visited you on the ship and saw that you had captured the Avatar, I realized that you had grown stronger in your banishment. And when you defeated Zhao and returned, I knew that you were ready to fight by my side. But there's been something off about you. I know you have the strength to be my equal, but something is getting in the way of it. That's why I planned the Ember Island trip and the Omashu fight. I was hoping I could get your mind off of it. But whatever it is, it's consuming you. Making you weak again."

She's absolutely right. Zuko knows his guilt over Katara is slowing eating at him, destroying him. As the days have gone by, he's had less and less energy. No motivation. He can't even drag himself out of bed sometimes.

"So?"

"So?" Azula scoffs. "I want to help you conquer it so you can stop moping and crying over every little insignificant Earth Kingdom peasant. You're the crown prince! The person who captured the Avatar! Start acting like it!"

Zuko doesn't feel like talking anymore. She's just going to keep pressing him and pressing him. It's a waste of time; he can never confess his feelings towards Katara and how it broke him to betray her. He can never admit that he still has nightmares about the look in her eyes when his soldiers escorted her away.

"Is it Uncle Iroh? Do you feel bad that he left? We can send someone to track him down and give him a letter or something that tells him you love him or whatever other mushy feelings you need to get out."

"Thanks for the apology, Azula. I accept it. You can go now."

She doesn't stop. "Is it Mom? Do you feel responsible for her leaving? Because that was her decision, not yours. She wouldn't want you to feel bad about it."

"I said you can go."

"What is it, Zuko? Is it Mai? Do you not want to be with her? Because that's okay with me, but you'll have to give her the news yourself."

"Just GO!"

Azula stomps her foot. "What is wrong with you? I'm trying to help! I'm trying to reach out and be a good sister for once in my life!"

Zuko sits up suddenly. "Well, I don't want your help!"

Her face grows shocked. He lays back down slowly. "Besides," he continues. "You can't help me. No one can."

"Fine. I'll quit bothering you. It's not like I want to deal with your drama anyway. But a word of advice? Stop acting like a mopey loser. Eventually Dad's going to notice."

She slams the door behind her. Zuko continues staring up at the ceiling. He doesn't think he's ever been so miserable in his life. It's not pain he's feeling, not like when his mother left. And it's not physical suffering, like when he got sea sick early on in his days of banishment. It's simple misery, an aching emptiness filling up the voids inside of him.

He doesn't know how much longer he can stand this. He feels like he's staring at an open wound and it aches in the open air and all he wants to do is wrap it up in bandages or at least cover it with his hand. But he can't do either so instead he's just suffering. And the wound won't kill him, no, that would be too easy - the wound is just going to keep aching forever and ever until it finally scabs over and then he won't feel much of anything at all. But it will leave a scar and then he'll never be able to forget the pain it once caused him.

"Ugh," he mumbles to himself. "Not I'm starting to think the way Uncle talks. Next thing you know, I'm going to be drinking tea and playing Pai Sho."

But right now, neither of those things sound so bad. Too bad he burned all his bridges already.

See, that's the thing about fire. It's what has made him special, given him power and strength. But it's also his undoing because fire is destructive and it burns everything it touches. His father and sister have grown immune to the consequences of their fire, but Zuko relives it all. He can't get over it.

He grabs an extra pillow and shoves it over his face.

When the guards come to feed Katara, she doesn't even find the process humiliating. She doesn't feel anything as they drag her to her feet and hold her hands tightly behind her back. She doesn't react when they tip her face back to pour water down her throat and they pour too fast and she chokes. When they release her and leave, she barely throws out her hands to catch herself.

She doesn't even try to stay fit anymore. She just lays on her side on her bed, staring at the concrete bars. Katara is very much a people person. She needs people - not for protection, but for companionship. And she trusts people. Hama betraying her and leaving her alone broke something irreparable inside of Katara.

It wasn't just Hama. It started when Zuko betrayed her. That was the first crack in the glass. Hama just managed to be the hit that completely shattered it.

Katara has always believed in hope. She finds that she can't anymore. Not here.

See, it wasn't just the bloodbending. As awful as that was, Katara was somehow...okay with it. It was the torture. The look in those guards' eyes as Hama snapped their bones at unnatural angles and slammed them into the rock walls. Katara looked up to Hama because she thought the older lady still had hope. She thought Hama was strong for surviving so long. But Hama wasn't really surviving; she was just waiting for the right moment to make them all suffer in even ways they hadn't made her suffer. Hama didn't want to escape, she just wanted to cause pain. There was only pure darkness left in her, dreams of pain and misery sustaining her.

Katara wonders if Hama would have even let her escape had she turned a blind eye to her revenge.

As awful as the guards are here, and as awful as the Fire Nation is as a whole, Katara finds she can't blame them for her suffering, or the suffering of the world. She lived on a ship for months with Fire Nation men. She learned their names, their stories. She learned their hobbies and talents. They are people, just like everyone else in the nations, and some are evil but most are decent people. And they aren't the same men who destroyed the Water Tribes and killed her friends and family. Not even the men on Whale Tail Island were. Those men are dead.

No, the person who is to blame for all the evil in the world is Ozai. He's the one who manipulates everyone, who uses propaganda to turn decent men and women into monsters who unquestioningly follow orders. He's the one who even his children fear.

Katara couldn't let Hama torture and kill those guards, but had the opportunity arisen, she would have let her loose on Ozai.

But it doesn't matter now. It's all done and over with. Hama is gone, and Katara is imprisoned again. And this time she doesn't have the motivation to keep fighting.

She doesn't know how long has passed when a guard walks by her cell and slides a small box between the bars. She doesn't even fully believe that it is a real thing that has happened - she can't tell the difference between dreams and reality anymore, not when she doesn't know whether she's sleeping or awake.

When the box is still there after a few hours she finally decides to take a look. Nothing in the box can make her situation worse.

She opens it slowly. First she uncovers some bread. Real bread, not just dried, stale husks that the guards normally feed her. Under the bread is dried seaweed, something that reminds her of Water Tribe meals. A ghost of a smile alights on her face.

She finds a few more special treats - nothing out of the ordinary for a normal meal, but exceptional compared to what she's been fed here.

She wonders why a guard gave her all of this. Who even knows that she's here? Who would even care?

She finds a letter at the bottom of the box. She unrolls it.

Dear Katara,

I can't even begin to imagine the suffering you're in right now. Fire Nation prisons are not kind to the body or to the soul. But do not give up hope. Help is on the way. You are not alone in this fight. You have stronger allies than you can imagine.

It's signed with a picture of a flower. Katara recognizes it instantly.

"A white lotus," she says to herself. She hugs the letter tightly to her chest. "Iroh."

Reading the letter and receiving the gift, she suddenly feels silly and a bit guilty for giving up hope so quickly. Of course she has every reason in the world to feel discouraged, but how could she give up when she knows she has friends in the world? She knew that Iroh was out there somewhere, and he had promised that he was on her side. How could she forget so easily?

Katara is not alone. She'll never be alone. She's the Avatar. Deep inside of her, she has the knowledge and wisdom of a hundred past lives. And out in the world, there will always be people who fight for her. She is more than a person; she is an idea, a cause, the literal embodiment of hope for many.

She hides the box under the bunk and then stands in the middle of her cell. If Iroh is right (and she believes him), then help is coming and she needs to be ready. She begins going through her waterbending warmups, feeling her sore and tense muscles pop and stretch out for the first time in days.

She feels good as she moves fluidly around her cell -as best as she can in the limited space, that is. Ozai had tried to discourage her by showing her how helpless she was here. Hama had tried to encourage her to use dark arts to get her way. But Katara is stronger than all of them. She is stronger than their efforts to break her, to change her.

Katara is the Avatar. And she's going to break out of here and save the world. She won't give up - not while even one person has hope.

"How do I look?" Sokka spins slowly in front of Suki, displaying his newly acquired Fire Nation uniform. They're on the westernmost coast of the Northern Earth Kingdom, preparing to cross into the Fire Nation and begin their daring rescue attempt. Sokka's trying not to think about how many things could go wrong and how slim their chances of success are.

Suki steps in close to him and straightens out his helmet. Then she steps back and smiles at him. "Eh, not too bad. A bit short, a bit scrawny, but not too bad."

"It looks good, doesn't it?" Sokka twists, trying to get a better look at himself. Then he crosses his arms. "Do I give off bad-boy vibes?"

Suki raises her eyebrows. "You couldn't be a bad boy if you wanted to, Sokka."

"Well I know that. But do I look like a bad boy?"

She sighs. "Yes, Sokka. You look like a bad boy. Now let me change into my armor. We have to catch that Fire Nation ship before it leaves."

She returns a few minutes later from the alley sporting Fire Nation armor of her own. She looks good in it, like it was made specifically for her to wear. Then again, she looks good in everything she wears.

"Well?" She opens her arms. "Can I pass for a Fire Nation soldier?"

"I think you are a Fire Nation soldier," Sokka jokes.

Suki grins. "Good." Then her face grows serious. "You ready for this? Once we get on that ship, there's no going back."

Sokka thinks of Katara. He tries not to imagine her locked up in some dirty cell somewhere or being dragged around by Fire Nation guards but he fails miserably.

"Yes," he says. "I'm ready. I have to be."

She nods curtly. "Then let's go."

"Wait." Sokka reaches out and grabs her arm, stopping her. "Suki, you don't have to come with me. You've already done so much."

She makes a weird face. "I didn't come this far to just turn back now," she says.

Sokka has been thinking a lot since they escaped the cave. He and Suki never talked about what happened between them (they were too busy trying to avoid Fire Nation patrols, anyway) but he's been thinking about it a lot. And in the face of the danger they're about to confront, he thinks it's time to say what he's been thinking.

"Suki, I care about you. And I don't want you to get hurt or captured or worse. I know you're an amazing and capable warrior, but I've lost people I've cared about before." He has a brief flashback of Yue and his chest tightens. "This isn't just some fun outing. This is a rescue mission deep in the heart of the Fire Nation. And I don't want to ask you to put your freedom and maybe even your life on the line for my sister. You don't even know her."

Suki gives him a sad smile. "Sokka." She places a hand against his cheek. "I know the risks. And I'm not doing it for your sister. I'm doing it for you. Because I care about you, too."

He leans in and kisses her. When they pull apart, she starts walking out of the alley.

"Besides," she calls back. "We both know that you need someone to watch your back. Might as well be me."

Sokka smiles as he follows her. How did he get so lucky?

The Fire Nation general looks over his scrolls and then back up at them. "Where did you say you came from, again?" he asks suspiciously.

Sokka tries to keep his voice from betraying the fear inside of him. His heart is racing. Under all the layers of the Fire Nation uniform, he's sweating. But he keeps his voice level.

"We were serving with the Southern Raiders but our commanding officer said we needed to return to the Fire Nation for addition training. Sir," he quickly adds.

"Additional training, huh?" The general scans them over. "You two are a bit skinny. Who was your commanding officer?"

"Commander Ju-Long, sir," Suki answers.

The general strokes his beard. "Ju-Long," he says to himself. "That name sounds familiar." He thinks for another moment. "Whale Tail Island, right?"

Sokka and Suki both nod. "That's right, sir."

"Huh. Well, you better get on. But if you're coming back for additional training then you can start by mopping the lower decks. They were transporting war animals last trip and that gets messy, if you know what I mean." The general laughs at their faces of disgust. "All the mopping will build up those arm muscles right away!"

He waves them past and onto the deck and then continues by verifying the next group of warriors. Sokka and Suki head belowdecks.

"Ugh. It smells down here." Sokka holds his nose.

"We better do as he says. The less suspicion we draw towards ourselves the better we'll be." Suki picks up a mop lying against the wall and tosses it to him. "We'll be at the palace in a few days, but until then we need to keep up our disguise."

"Let's just hope they don't ask us to firebend. Or ask us anything in general." Sokka begins mopping the animal waste. "Maybe if we smell they'll avoid us."

"Good thinking. You do have a plan for how to break Katara out once we get to the Fire Nation, right?"

And here's where Sokka's plans kinda fall apart. "Um...I have an idea of a plan," he admits.

"Well get thinking. We'll need to act fast."

Luckily mopping up animal waste doesn't require much brain power, so Sokka is free to think as they work for the next hours. Every once in a while his thoughts drift and he thinks of Suki or food or how inglorious rescue missions can be at times.

Only a few more days, he thinks. A few more days and either we'll be safe with Katara or stuck in a Fire Nation prison cell of our own.

He refocuses his brain on the task of making a plan for Katara's rescue.