Chapter 5

Beca's POV

Shit. Shit shit shit SHIT. I threw that book away for a reason. No one was supposed to find it! No one was supposed to know it existed.

"Uh, I'm gonna call you back, Theo. There's a, uh, racoon in my kitchen." Chloe hangs up without giving Theo the chance to say goodbye, and she just sits there, looking directly in front of her with her hands in her lap. I steal a quick glance over at her face, to see what she's thinking, but there's no emotion there.

"Please explain to me what Theo just said." She finally says, looking over at me for the first time since the phone call.

"You weren't supposed to find out like this." I whisper, looking deeply in her eyes for any stray emotion that might show.

"Were you ever going to tell me at all? Because, from that phone call, I don't think so."

"I was! I was just scared. Like, what if you don't like me back? Which, for the record, wouldn't surprise me. What if I completely lost you because I love you? I never saw you as a best friend in the first place, Chloe. I've always wanted more, ever since the first day we met. I knew right then and there that it was love. I don't know how or why, but I just did. And then in the shower… I fell even deeper that day. And I've been falling again and again every single day because I can't get over you. You, with your bright blue eyes, and the way you always care. Your mesmerizing voice. The way you move sometimes. How you worry about the stupidest things, but when there's something serious to worry about, it's suddenly not a big deal. How I can be myself around you and not care what you think of me, because I know you love me just how I am. That's why I did the drugs, and the alcohol, and the sex. Because I hoped it would help me forget you. Because I couldn't live with the pain." I lay it all out, my voice breaking on the last sentence.

"Beca…" She whispers, seemingly at a loss for words. Her face is a mixture of emotions- still a little confused, a little hurt, but relieved. Relieved? Maybe just that I told her… "You should have just told me." She leans over and gives me a hug, and I lean into her, melting into her arms. This hug feels so much more different than our last one, and I try to cherish it for as long as I can before she pulls away again. "Well…" This time, she's the one looking down, guilty. "I, uh… I guess I should let you know that, uh…" She sighs, then smiles at me, and my heart flutters. "That I love you too." My heart drops at those words. I go numb, like all of my main organs decided to have a party and just left without warning. When I look back up at her, I'm shocked to find that her face is closer than I thought it would be. Without warning, I lean over and kiss her, one of my hands on the back of her neck and pulling her closer to me, the other one sliding down her side to rest on her hip. She returns the gesture, her hands entangling themselves in my hair. Using my hand on her hip, I wrap around her waist and close the distance between us, pressing my body tightly against hers.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I breathe after a minute, resting my forehead on her shoulder.

"Because I was scared too, Becs." My heart dances at the nickname, and I tilt my head up to smile at her.

"Well, I guess that's a reason." She laughs, and I reach up to kiss her jaw lightly. I don't do it sexually, just lovingly. We lay back down, and I curl into her, resting my head in the nook of her shoulder.

"I never thought this day would come." I whisper.

"Me neither." Her hand finds my chin, and she lifts my head up and kisses me again. This time, it's more aggressive, and I find myself sliding my hand up one of her legs. Crap, I can't do this.

"Chloe… I can't." I say, and she nods, understanding what I mean.

"That's ok. We'll take things slow." She kisses the tip of my nose, and I go back to snuggling into her. She wraps her hand around me and traces patterns into my back, and I smile into her chest, finally happy. I'm still mad Theo went through my stuff, but he'll pay for it later.

Rolling over, I stretch as I wake up from the first night's worth of good sleep I've had in a long time. I smile over at Chloe, who's smiling in her sleep. I still can't believe last night happened. I would think it was a dream if I hadn't woken up in her arms. I lean over to kiss her cheek, but my stomach starts violently churning. I quickly sit up and run to the bathroom, and I barely make it to the toilet before last night's pizza comes up.

"Beca? You ok?" Chloe calls out, the bed squeaking as she gets up.

"Yeah, I'm fine, just…" I trail off, not one hundred percent sure what to say. It doesn't matter though, because she walks in and holds my hair back for me without questions as I lean over and throw up again.

"Thank you" I muster when it's finally over, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand and shakily standing up. "I don't know why that happened."

"Maybe it's a withdrawal?" She asks calmly, but I can see in her eyes she's panicking a little.

"I don't know, maybe." I try to shrug it off, but I can't deny the hunger in my pit for something- anything, whether it be alcohol or drugs.

"Maybe we should call the doctor, just to make sure?" She's really scared now, so I nod, just to calm her down. She pulls her phone out, and I sit back down on the floor, resting my head on the cabinets behind me. I don't feel sick, so I'm not really worried…

"Hello? Hi, yes, this is Chloe Beale… yes, yes, how'd you know?... Oh, yeah, makes sense. So she threw up this morning, like a lot, for no apparent reason. We were wondering if that's a normal sign for a withdrawal, or is it possibly something else?... Oh, ok. Do we need an appointment?... Ok, see you soon. Bye." She hangs up with a worried look on her face. "She said we should go in. It's not a normal withdrawal sign." Great. Back to the hospital. Ugh.

"Fiiiiiiiine" I groan, then stand up and walk to the living room to grab my bag. I grab a pair of ripped jeans and a sweatshirt that Theo packed for me and walk back into Chloe's room, stripping and changing quickly. Chloe walks in right as I take my shirt off, and she gasps and covers her eyes quickly, blushing.

"Chloe, you're fine." I laugh and walk over, taking her hands off her eyes for her. She looks away, which makes me laugh even harder. "Ok, whatever, your choice. I know you'll be checking me out though when I turn around." I turn around and grab my sweatshirt, and I indeed can feel her eyes watching me. I slowly put it back on, letting my bra strap fall off my shoulder a little to tease her. This gets old quickly though, so I fix it and put it on. When I turn around, she's already dressed in leggings and a hoodie.

"I'm used to changing quickly." She answers my unspoken question, and I laugh at the squeak in her voice.

"Ahh, ok. Let's go then, since I have to." I instinctively reach over and grab her hand, and we both freeze at the unexpected touch. "Sorry…" I start to let go, but she holds on, smiling.

"No, I like it. It was a surprise, but I like it." I grin back at her, and she leans down and kisses me lightly. I start to kiss her back, but she quickly pulls away and coughs. "You still taste like puke." Now it's my turn to blush.

"Sorry." I can't believe I forgot to brush my teeth! I grab my stuff and quickly brush my teeth and hair, then we head out the door. I climb in the passenger side of Chloe's Jeep Wrangler, and next thing I know, we're heading back toward the hospital.

I complain the whole car ride, much to Chloe's annoyance. I really don't want to go back to the hospital, but I will if it cheers her up. When we pull up, we go straight to the counter.

"Beca Mitchell" I say to the receptionist, then immediately cringe when her face lights up with recognition.

"Aren't you the celebrity who overdosed?" She asks, but I don't respond.

"When can I get in?" I ask sharply, hoping to get my point across. I'm not interested in answering the questions of fans today.

"Dr. Birch is ready for you now." She smiles at me, and I give her a small smile back, then turn to the door she pointed at.

"Wow, harsh much?" Chloe asks, and I give her an annoyed look.

"You have to be in my world, or else you'll never get anything done." I say, then open the door into the hospital room. I look around to see dinosaurs and unicorns on the walls, and Chloe giggles. Gosh, her giggle's adorable…

"This is cute." She says, and I whack her arm playfully.

"No it's not! It's childish and stupid!" I snap, and I flinch back, surprising myself. "I'm sorry, I don't know why I reacted like that." I add in a softer voice.

"It's fine…" She says, her brow furrowing with worry.

"Sorry for the room choice, but it was the best we could do in such short notice." Dr. Birch walks in, and much to my surprise, he's a male. Blonde, green eyes, clean shave, small scar under his right eye… he's kinda cute. Chloe gives me a sharp look, and I realize I was staring. I shoot her an apologetic look, and she rolls her eyes, but she relaxes a little as she sits on the chair. I sit up on the bed and give the doctor a small smile.

"Oh, I don't care, really. I'm only here because she wants me to be." I point at Chloe, and she opens her mouth to argue.

"Because I was told to bring you in!" She says, and I sigh, shaking my head.

"Whatever. Let's just get this done with." Dr. Birch nods, and the process goes rather quickly, to my surprise. He has me do a variety of things, including peeing in a cup- "I need a urine sample, to make sure you don't have complications" he said- and doing exercise. He tells us to sit in the waiting room when we're all done, and I drag Chloe out of the room, oddly exhausted.

"That was annoying. And tiresome." Chloe gives me an odd look, and I smile. "What?"

"I'm worried about you, Beca. Mood swings, tired really quickly, random vomiting… this isn't normal." She frowns, and I sigh in protest.

"Chlo, I'm sure I'm fine. It's just withdrawals." I argue. She opens her mouth to say something, but Dr. Birch walks back out with a blank look on his face.

"I figured out what your problem is." He says, and Chloe sits up straighter.

"How bad is it?" She asks, and Dr. Birch smiles.

"It's not too bad- not for Beca, anyway. I do worry about her other problem, however... " He trails off and looks at me.

"Just tell me what it is so I can go back home." I say, growling a little in annoyance. There's no way there's something else wrong with me. No way.

"Beca, you're pregnant."