Ochako loved spending time with her friends, and she loved making her friends smile, which was why it hadn't taken much cajoling from Mina before she agreed to attend the "mini reunion" the other girl was throwing — despite the fact that, if she were being honest, she might prefer to have a quiet night at home after the week she had had.
What was more surprising to her was that Bakugou was also there, sandwiched between Kirishima and Kaminari. The sight threw her back several years and for a moment she could have believed she had walked into the common room in their old dormitory rather than Mina's apartment — except that they were different, and things were different. His gaze met hers and she smiled at him. He nodded in assent — of course that was all she could expect from him — and she turned to look for Mina.
She and Bakugou went long stretches of time without seeing or hearing of each other but this was the second time she had seen him this week: she had found herself giving him the assist to apprehend a villain. They had only exchanged a few words but she had felt it: that unspoken understanding, the synchronicity between them. It had been nice to work with him again although it had made her heart ache.
As she scanned the room someone threw their arm around her and she heard Mina cry, "Ochako!" in her ear. She turned to the other girl with a grin and found a glass of wine being thrust into her hand.
"How have you been?" Mina asked, as if they hadn't been texting earlier that day.
"I'm good, all things considered," Ochako said, taking a sip of her wine.
Mina made a face, "Oof, yeah," she said. "Still, I'm glad you came." She leaned in with a grin, "Can you believe Bakugou's here? He never comes to these things!" She paused for a second and then added, conspiratorially, "Actually, I think Kirishima was driving him crazy about it." Ochako glanced back at Bakugou, who seemed to be yelling at Kaminari about something. When she looked back at Mina the other woman was giving her a strange, mischievous look. "Come to think of it, Bakugou didn't say yes until after I told Kirishima you were coming for sure."
Ochako felt herself flush. She was less bashful now than she had been as a teenager but she still hated the idea that the situation between her and Bakugou might be laid bare. "It's not like that," she said. She took a gulp of wine as an excuse to avoid Mina's gaze and then added, "He probably just wants to corner me and yell at me about all the things I did wrong on that mission earlier this week."
Mina poked her in the ribs, "Sure thing, babe," and slid back into the party to bother someone else.
It wasn't Mina's fault. Nobody knew about the situation between her and Bakugou except them and even they had never talked about it. Sometimes Ochako thought she had made the whole thing up inside her head but then Bakugou would look at her in that way, like he had the other day, like everything else had fallen away and she was the only thing left and she would know.
Ochako was a pragmatist. She knew she was in love with Bakugou and she sensed that he was in love with her and she also knew that there was no chance that they could be together. So she dated around. There were a lot of different ways of being in love.
She enjoyed herself at the party, talking and dancing mostly with the friends of hers who had decided to come: Tsuyu, Momo, and, surprisingly, Iida. Izuku had been too busy and Todoroki had opted out. Every so often she would catch Bakugou's gaze but they never engaged in conversation. The more she drank the more dangerous the situation felt to her. At some point she saw Bakugou shrug off Kirishima and get up, she supposed, to go get some air on Mina's balcony.
She gave it a few minutes and then made up her mind to follow him, ignoring Mina's pointed look as she peeled away from the group.
He looked over his shoulder as she slid the glass door open to join him outside and grunted in acknowledgement before turning back to lean against the balcony. Ochako sidled up to him and took her spot next to him, clinking her wine glass against his beer bottle. He rolled his eyes but she saw the tell-tale pull at the corner of his mouth.
They said nothing for a long time. This was how it was between them: so much was unspoken, unsaid. Ochako enjoyed the sensation of being next to him on this balcony on a crisp Tokyo night, the lights of the city playing all around them.
"Your boyfriend didn't wanna come with you?" he said, at length.
Ochako took a sip of wine and shook her head. "We broke up." That week, actually.
Bakugou made a strange noise, "News to me," he said. "Last I fucking heard you guys were talking about marriage."
Ochako flinched. She hadn't realised just how much got back to Bakugou through the grape vine. "We were," she said.
Bakugou nodded, playing with the bottle in his hands. She wondered if he had actually drunk anything that night or the drink was just for show. "So what did he do to fuck it up?" he asked.
Ochako set her glass down on the ledge and considered Bakugou: of course he thought the fault would lie with Kosuke rather than her — but then he wasn't wrong, not really. "He wanted me to take a step back from active hero work," she said, "and prioritise the relationship."
Bakugou snorted. "Fucking idiot. Japan's best rescue hero and he wants you playing the little woman."
Japan's best rescue hero?
"That's not what the hero rankings say," she said.
He snorted. "Fuck the rankings."
She smiled at him. "You've changed."
"I haven't changed," he said, staring out over the city. "My goals have always been the same."
She remembered what he had said back then, at their first Sports Festival: it doesn't mean anything if I don't recognise it. "I guess you're right," she said.
They lapsed into silence again. Ochako felt the alcohol thrumming in her veins. Maybe she would say something about it tonight. Maybe if she drank enough she would say something and he would never forgive her.
"I don't know why you bother with it," he said after a while. "Dating."
She scrunched up her nose. "Excuse me?"
He glanced at her. His gaze was softer than she was used to: he seemed almost unsure of himself, almost like he was concerned he might have offended her. "It's just a distraction from what you really want," he explained. Then, more confidently: "I know you're like me. You want to be the best. So why are you letting yourself get caught up in all this bullshit?"
She wanted to shake him and tell him that it was worth it, that it was possible to be a pro hero and have a life, that if he would just try it they would both be happier — or more miserable, or something, but at least they would have tried. Instead she said, "Family is important to me. I don't want to be alone."
He took a sip of his beer and shrugged his shoulders. "Seems pretty fucking lonely to be with someone who doesn't understand your goals," he said.
"Yeah, that's why we broke up," she shot back, as if it should have been obvious — and it should have been.
He hummed in response and they lapsed into silence again. Ochako felt herself shifting closer to him, almost close enough to rest her head on his shoulder if she wanted. He let her. How long had it been since she was this close to him, close enough to smell him?
"If you're gonna date you should be with someone who sees what a fucking badass you are and appreciates it," Bakugou said at length.
Maybe it was the alcohol but before she could stop herself Ochako found herself beaming up at him and asking, "Any suggestions?"
"Don't be stupid," he said, giving her a shove, but even in this light she could see the way his cheeks flushed pink so prettily.
She wondered if it were possible for them to just take this moment to feel the way they felt without it having to mean anything. "Bakugou," she said, and he looked at her. She smiled, indicating the music which was just audible from behind the pane glass doors. "Dance with me."
He stared at her. "No fucking way am I gonna let those extras see me dance."
She beamed up at him and placed her hand on his forearm. "Not in there," she whispered, "out here."
He looked away, picking at the label on his bottle, seeming to fight some kind of internal battle with himself. Ochako let her hand rest on his arm, knowing if he didn't want it there he would do something about it. After a moment he turned to face her, gripping her arm and staring down at her. Her heart was pounding. He pulled her into him. It wasn't really a dance but it was an opportunity to put her arm around his neck and hold him tight. Ochako buried her face in his neck, desperately wanting to kiss him but knowing this was all he would allow.
She didn't mind if they didn't see each other for months after this. She didn't mind if this was all it could be. That was all that mattered. In the morning they would forget all about it and get on with their lives but for now, in this moment, he was hers.