Disclaimer: All rights belong to Nickelodeon, Bryan Konietzko, Michael Dante DiMartino, and all the men and women that created the A:TLA show, books, and comics. I take no credit, and I do not mean to break any copyright rules. This is simply a work of fiction made for enjoyment. No money is being made. The lyrics are from the song "The Scientist" by Coldplay
Rating: General Audiences. Warning: some scenes contain dark themes and minor violence
Author's Note: I just wanted to take a moment to shout-out you awesome readers. I don't write for people to read, I write the stories I want told, but the fact that so many of you have followed along and taken the time to comment makes me so happy. You guys are awesome. Thank you. This chapter's for you
Chapter 3: Making Amends
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard
Oh take me back to the start
"They're coming!" Toph runs back from the edge of the camp. "They'll be here in a few minutes."
Katara wraps her arms tighter around her legs. She has a mix of emotions running through her mind right now and she's not sure if she's excited or dreading the moment. A few days ago she'd been ready to go bust out Zuko herself; now she's not sure if she even wants to see him.
"What, are you scared?" Toph teases. After a moment of awkward silence, she says, in a more serious voice, "Oh. You are."
"I'm not sure what I'm feeling," Katara admits.
"But you were so happy about seeing him again earlier. What changed?"
"It's complicated." She presses her cheek into her knee and stares at the ground. One thing she likes about talking to Toph is that she doesn't have to look her in the eyes. It takes a lot of pressure off of talking. Of course, she can't lie about anything, either, which adds a little different pressure.
"I know what happened," Toph admits, "but I thought you forgave him."
"I did." Katara breathes deeply. This is hard to confess, but she trusts Toph. "Sometimes you can forgive people and still be upset about what they did. Forgiveness is a process. Saying the words and meaning them is the biggest step. After that you have to work on moving past what makes you angry. It's been hard to do that since he's not been around to prove that he's changed, you know?"
Toph listens quietly. Katara forges on. "What he did really hurt me. I suffered in that Fire Nation prison. And I know he's probably suffered even worse than me for betraying his own people, but that doesn't make me feel better. I want the cycle of suffering to end. As the Avatar, I'm supposed to be the one to end it. I just don't know how."
She falls silent. After a minute, Toph speaks up.
"I think I understand how you feel," she says. "I've forgiven my parents for how they treated me. I know they were doing what they thought was best. But I'm still angry that they couldn't see the real me. I mean, they're my parents, you know?"
Katara nods. Then she remembers Toph can't see. "Yeah. I still can't believe they have no idea how strong you are."
"One day I'm going to go back and talk to them. I'm not going to stop until I prove who I really am. I want to make things right with them. But I'm scared."
Katara reaches over and lays a hand on her knee. "I think it's really brave of you to do that. If you want, I'll come with you when you decide to tell them. Having the Avatar to vouch for you wouldn't hurt your argument."
Toph laughs. "No, it wouldn't. And if you need me now, I'm here for you."
Katara can't help the smile spreading across her face. "I'm so glad you joined our group, Toph. What would I do without you?"
"Oh, you'd be captured again or dead. For sure. I'm holding everything together." Toph suddenly lays her palm flat on the ground. "Speaking of everyone, they're approaching."
Katara looks out into the darkening skies. She can see Appa walking in the distance. Her heart starts racing again.
Is she ready to confront her feelings? Is she ready to see Zuko again?
She has to be.
Zuko is the last one to disembark the flying bison when they land. He hasn't looked for her yet, but he knows she's there. And he's terrified.
Sokka had chatted a lot in the beginning of the trip, mostly just rambling, but eventually the tension had reached even him. After that he had sat next to Suki with his arm around her shoulders. Aang had sat on Appa's neck and steered the entire journey in silence. Zuko hadn't said a single word. He just kept thinking about what he'd say when he saw Katara again.
Hours and hours of flying and he still has no idea.
His boots hit the ground and he finally looks up. Katara is standing a few feet away, staring at him. The first thing Zuko notices is how beautiful she looks. The last time he'd seen her was months ago. She'd been covered in dirt and grime from her time in prison, her hair stringy and in tangles. She'd had bags under her eyes and had looked exhausted from fighting the guards and Azula.
Now she's clean and well rested. Her Fire Nation clothes fit her well and her hair is fixed in a half-up, half-down style. Her blue eyes shine brightly, reflecting light from the sunset. She's even more beautiful than he remembered.
The second thing Zuko notices is the expression on her face. She looks just as nervous as him. His heart begins to race. What if she's still mad at him? She said she forgave him, but what if those were just empty words?
She starts walking his way slowly. He forces himself to stand still, not sure of what she's going to do. He wouldn't blame her if she wanted to hit him or yell at him or push him. He wouldn't object. He knows he deserves it for what he did to her. He'd let her do whatever she wanted and he wouldn't fight back. He'd do anything for her.
When she's only a foot away he can see her eyes sparkling with tears. He hates that he's the reason. All he does is hurt people. Especially the people he cares about.
She doesn't hit him. She doesn't yell at him. She doesn't push him. She wraps her arms around his waist and leans her head against his chest and doesn't say anything. Katara just holds him silently, tightly.
He's so shocked that he doesn't react at first. Then he slowly, hesitantly, wraps his arms around her. And they stand there for a long time, neither of them moving or speaking. Just silently holding on to each other.
Zuko remembers the night on Whale Tail Island when they'd laid on the ship and watched the fireworks together. This moment has the same feeling. Sometimes just being together is enough. They'd both been through a lot in their short lives, and sometimes talking is too hard. Too much. Just being together is enough.
Katara finally pulls away. She wipes at her eyes with the back of her hand.
"I'm sorry," he says. The words feel so empty. He wants to show her how sorry he is, but he doesn't think that's possible. There's nothing he can do to show her how much he regrets his decision.
She shakes her head. "I already told you, Zuko. I forgive you." She looks up at him with shining eyes. "I'm just glad that you're alive and that you're here."
"Thank you for sending someone to rescue me."
She smiles a little. "I would have come myself, but Sokka told me it was too dangerous."
"He was right. I'm not worth you getting caught."
She shakes her head but doesn't argue with him. Instead she motions for him to follow her. She leads him to a small fire, which Aang, Sokka, Suki, and another young girl are sitting around.
"This is the gang," Katara says. "You've already met Aang, Sokka and Suki. This is Toph. She's my earthbending instructor and also the best Earthbender alive."
The girl waves but doesn't pick up her head. Zuko finds it a bit strange but doesn't think about it too much. He's still feeling awkward around Katara and around the whole gang. He knows that Katara has told them the entire story. He's ashamed of what he did in the past and he knows they probably think less of him because of it. The only person here he doesn't feel awkward around is Suki.
Katara sits down and motions for him to sit next to her. "Are you feeling up to telling us your story?" she asks. "If you're too tired we can wait until tomorrow."
Zuko shakes his head. "It's not too exciting," he warns.
"But our prison break was," Sokka says, pointing a stick with some sort of food on it Zuko's way. "And I want to tell that story."
Katara waves him off. "You can tell us after Zuko is done." She turns back to him. "So what happened after we escaped from the Fire Nation?"
"I was taken to Boiling Rock. I tried to keep a low profile, but it was only a matter of time until someone recognized me." He leaves out the details of being beaten and Mai and Azula's visits. "Then I became allies with a man who was willing to look past who I was. He helped me a lot. Eventually Azula found a use for me, and you know the rest. After she got Katara, she sent me back. My sister had her eyes set on another goal - Ba Sing Se, I'm assuming." The others nod. "She had no further use for me at the moment. She thought I was safe in Boiling Rock."
"So how did you guys get out?"
Sokka takes over, telling this story. Zuko sits back, cringing a bit when he tells about Mai and Ty Lee's betrayal. He notices Katara glance over at him during that part, but she turns quickly back to her brother.
"...and then we dropped Kodakah off at the first village that wasn't controlled by the Fire Nation. He said he wanted to be with his people to prepare them for the final fight. Then we flew the rest of the way here on Appa." Sokka sits back, satisfied with his storytelling.
"So what is Azula going to do now?" Toph asks. "I bet she wasn't expecting her friends to turn on her."
"Yeah, why did they?" Aang jumps in, his eyes boring into Zuko's. Zuko has no idea why the kid is so in his face about everything. In any case, Zuko's not ready to answer that question.
"She's probably headed back to the palace," he says. "She'll be my father's right hand until the end of the war - either way it ends."
"So we won't see her again?" Sokka asks hopefully.
"I wouldn't count on us getting that lucky," he warns. "But she won't be actively hunting us. The Fire Nation will still be, though."
"Nothing we can't handle," Toph says confidently. She leans back and stares in the direction of the fire for a while. Sokka and Suki go off somewhere quiet to talk. Zuko looks over at Katara, wanting to do the same. When she catches his glance, they stand up.
"Where are you going?" Aang asks, looking up at Katara.
"Zuko and I are going to talk."
The kid looks like he wants to protest, but he just rests his chin on his hand and stares into the fire. Zuko ignores him and he and Katara walk out of earshot and far enough away that only the glowing fire is still visible.
"You didn't answer Aang's question," Katara says quietly once they've sat down on the grass.
"That's what I wanted to talk to you about." He takes a deep breath. If Katara didn't hate him before, she might after this conversation. "I told you before that Mai and I grew up together, that we were close."
She nods, watching him carefully.
"I wasn't being entirely truthful. Mai and I were together." He doesn't look at her. If she reacts, he might not have the courage to continue. "When I returned to the Fire Nation after betraying you, everyone expected that we would be together again, Mai more than the others. I went along with it. I thought it might make me happier, might make me forget you. But I never did."
She doesn't say anything. He presses on.
"It wasn't all made up between us. I've always liked Mai. But after meeting you, I couldn't stop comparing her to you. I couldn't stop searching for you in her. I was just using her to try and fill the holes from your absence. I feel horrible about it, especially now that I know she loves me."
"How do you know she loves you?"
"Because she betrayed Azula for me. You heard the story. Azula and the guards were going to kill us. Mai couldn't bear to watch me die. If I wasn't there, she wouldn't have betrayed my sister."
Katara is quiet for a long time, deep in thought. Zuko lets her think. He'll give her as much time as she needs. And however she decides to respond, he'll accept it. He understands if she doesn't want to talk to him anymore after all that he's done to her.
"You care about her," Katara finally says, looking over at him.
He nods. "I do. But that's it - I don't love her."
Not like I love you. The unspoken words are left to float away in the night breeze. Katara leans back on her hands and exhales deeply.
"Thank you for telling me the truth," she says.
"I wish I could have told it to you earlier."
They sit in silence for a long time. It's not an awkward silence, but it's also not completely comfortable.
"Sometimes I wish we were still on the ship," Katara says, not looking at him. "Those last few days, before I knew I was the Avatar - those were perfect."
"I was ready to give up my quest for you," he admits. "Even after I knew you were the Avatar, I was going to let you go."
Now she looks over at him, her eyes shining in the dark. "What made you change your mind?"
"Azula's letter."
"Your sister certainly has a talent for bringing out the worst in everyone and everything she encounters."
"Yeah, she does," he agrees sadly. He wonders where it all went wrong with her. His mother and Iroh didn't treat her any worse than him. They gave her equal attention. So at what point did Azula decide to turn her back on them and instead follow their father?
"I worry about her more than Ozai," Katara says. "Ozai is a distant threat. Azula seems to always be one step behind me, right in my shadow."
"She's going to be worse than ever now. She's going to be completely unhinged. She's been betrayed by everyone except for our father, and it's only a matter of time before he does something that shows how little he cares about her outside of her usefulness."
"You don't think she'll turn to our side, then?" Katara asks hopefully.
Zuko shakes his head. "Not a chance. I had Iroh at my side for years and it still wasn't enough. She's been at my father's side this whole time."
He feels bad for his sister. So strong, and yet so weak. A master manipulator who has been manipulated almost her entire life. A princess who has never had any real power.
Katara stands, breaking him out of his thoughts. "It's getting late," she says. "I'm going to go to bed."
He nods and gets up, walking with her back to their camp. Aang is the only one still sitting at the fire. He looks back and forth between the two of them as they return.
"We don't have a tent for you yet," Katara says. She stomps the ground and earthbends a rough shelter. "You can stay in there for tonight. You can take a roll of bedding from Appa's saddlebag. We'll go supply shopping tomorrow."
"Thank you."
She begins to walk away. Before he crawls into the shelter, she pauses and half turns back. "Good night, Zuko."
"Good night, Katara."
Sokka and Suki walk a ways from the others, staying close but getting out of earshot and sight. Sokka feels awkward. Their hands, swinging at their hands, sometimes brush but neither of them makes the move to latch on to the other.
They'd sat close the entire ride back, but Sokka believes that they were still riding the adrenaline rush of escaping and the fear of being caught. Now that they're back in safety, all the mixed feelings from Ba Sing Se have returned.
"I'm really sorry," he finally says, breaking the silence. "I shouldn't have gotten mad at you. I wasn't even mad at you so much as I was upset at our entire situation."
"It's okay," Suki says. "I couldn't stay mad at you. I was upset at myself. It was a hard decision for me to leave you, and now I don't even have a choice." She looks down sadly. Losing her warriors is like losing her family.
"I felt awful after our fight. I wanted to make things right. But then we came back and you were gone…" Sokka swallows. "I can't lose you again."
She finally looks at him. "I'm not leaving," she promises. "I'm with you until the end - whichever way it goes."
"We'll get your warriors back," Sokka promises. "As soon as we can."
"They'll be okay," Suki says. "They're strong. The Fire Nation can't break them."
She sounds like she's trying to convince herself, not him. Sokka has confidence in the Kyoshi Warriors, but he also knows how awful the Fire Nation prisons can be. Boiling Rock was secure but besides the heat, the conditions weren't bad. But the palace prison where Katara was? That was awful. And all the work prisons like the one in the Earth Kingdom they stumbled on a long time ago? Those prisoners were overworked and hopeless.
He doesn't say that, though. He can tell she's still a bit shaken by how easily she and the warriors had been tricked and kidnapped. She's still mad at herself for being fooled and feels guilty for letting down her girls.
"There was nothing you could have done," he tells her. "Azula tricked us all."
"She won't again." Suki's voice is hard. "She's alone now, vulnerable. If she dares to come into my sight again, she'll regret it."
"I don't think she'll be so bold," Sokka says. "Azula is many things, but stupid is not one of them. Unfortunately for us."
"So what are we doing?" Suki asks. "What's the next step for Katara?"
Sokka thinks back to the audience with the Earth King at Ba Sing Se. "I need to talk to Zuko first," he says slowly, "but I think I may know of a huge weakness for the Fire Nation."
"What kind of weakness?"
"A period of time where they can't firebend."
Suki's eyes widen. "They would be defenseless compared to other Benders," she realizes. "We could basically blow in. And the Fire Lord and Azula would still be a threat, but nothing Katara and the others couldn't handle."
Sokka nods. "Exactly my thinking."
"How exactly did you find out about this?"
"I read it in a scroll in Ba Sing Se. It was a fable, but in every tale is a grain of truth. And the science behind it makes sense. Apparently there's a solar eclipse every thousand years. As long as the moon covers the sun, the Firebenders can't bend. We'd have only a small window of time to work with."
"When is this eclipse?"
"Six weeks from now."
Suki paces a bit, deep in thought. "And how is Katara's progress with the elements?"
"She's mastered water, her earthbending is looking good, and we grabbed Zuko so she can start learning firebending."
"She'll only be able to use two of those if we attack during the eclipse. Will that be enough?"
"It has to be."
Sokka doesn't like the idea of pushing Katara anymore than anyone else, but he also realizes that this may be their only opportunity to defeat the Fire Nation for years. All the strong Earth Kingdom fortresses have fallen. It will take years for Katara to master all four of the elements - most Avatars need decades. And the Fire Nation's power will only grow stronger.
"I hope you're right," Suki says.
"Me too."