When the nurse came on duty on the last day of Bella's hospital stay, it took a moment for Bella to realize why she recognized her. The nurse was a small, wiry woman, in her late twenties, with short purplish-red hair.
"You were in the emergency room," Bella said. "The night I got hurt."
"Yup, that's me. And let me just say, you're looking a whole lot better than when we first met. One of the nurses on this floor quit yesterday, so they floated me up for the day." She wrote her name on the whiteboard in slashing block letters. "I'm Zelda, and I'll be here until seven. But, from what I hear, you won't be. Excited about getting out of here?"
"Yeah, I'm definitely ready. I think I'll go nuts if I don't get out of this room soon."
"I'll bet. Mind if I take a look at your stitches?"
"Sure," Bella said. She glanced at Edward, who was sitting beside her on the bed. He released her and rose from the bed, stepping back to give Zelda room to examine Bella. The nurse pulled on gloves and bent over her patient, lifting Bella's hospital gown and looking closely at the stitches.
"I swear, Dr. Cullen isn't human," Zelda said under her breath.
"What?" Bella asked. She glanced back at Edward and saw him listening.
"These stitches," the nurse explained. "They're too perfect. I'd know Carlisle Cullen stitches anywhere. And, I swear, he never gets tired. Any other doctor would have gotten out of there as soon as you were stable and let one of the students finish closing, but he did every last one of these himself. I can tell." She looked up at Edward and smiled. "He must have some special interest in your case, huh?"
"I'd say so," Edward said. He sounded amused.
"Well, he did a great job." She helped Bella sit up again. "You're a lucky girl."
"I know," Bella said. Her smile faded as she noticed the pattern on the nurse's scrubs - jack-o-lanterns. "Is that today? Halloween, I mean?"
"Yeah. I'm gonna miss trick-or-treating. My mom said she'd take my little girl for me, though. She's gonna be a ninja turtle princess."
"A ninja turtle... princess?"
"Yeah, she couldn't decide, so we got the turtle costume and added a tutu. Saw it on Pinterest."
"It sucks you can't go with her," Bella said. "That must be hard."
"Yeah, it is. Do you have kids?"
Bella opened her mouth to speak, but this moment always froze her. The truth was awkward; the lie was a sacrilege.
"I have a little boy, but he passed away."
"Ah." Zelda made a pained sound, as if she'd touched a stove burner she hadn't realized was hot. She didn't look away, though, and she didn't seem embarrassed. People were usually embarrassed when they found they'd accidentally started a conversation with someone about their dead child. She met Bella's eyes. "I'm so sorry. How long has it been?"
"A year, almost. It's... His birthday is in two days. He only lived for ten days." She felt Edward's hand resting high on her back, telling her he was close.
"Oh, wow. Some big days coming up for you," Zelda said.
"Yeah." Bella wasn't sure what else to say. These first anniversaries - his birth, his death, all those precious and terrible days in between - loomed before her like a group of monsters, huddled, eyeing her from the shadows. She had no idea of their color or shape, but she was certain they had teeth.
"Is that why Dr. Cullen fast-tracked your discharge?" Zelda asked. Her tone was casual, but Bella saw sincere curiosity behind the nurse's eyes.
Be careful. This one's smart, and she's already seen a lot.
"He didn't say," Bella said, though she was sure that the other woman was right.
Zelda paused. "I had a brother I never met," she said. "He died from a respiratory infection when he was a baby. My parents were devastated. I mean, of course they were. Of course they were. Even after I came along, it still hurt my mom so much. We had a cake for him every year on his birthday - December tenth. I think my mom still does it. A lot of people, our friends and family, they were weird about it. They thought it was morbid to have a birthday celebration for someone who'd died. But I never thought so."
Bella nodded. Her eyes welled with tears, but they felt good. When they spilled over, it felt like letting go of a breath she'd been holding for too long.
"I don't think so either," Bella said. "What's morbid about remembering your baby? It's wonderful. It's so wonderful to remember."
Zelda nodded. "I think they see it that way - morbid, I mean - because, without the cake and stuff, they all could have just forgotten about Jeremy. That's what his name was - Jeremy. So, like, they all have this whole world where death isn't really present, especially not involving children. And then my mom comes along and interrupts that reality, reminds everyone of how many children are missing from the world. And that doesn't feel good. It's scary and they don't like it."
"They don't get that she walks with death every day," Bella said. "She doesn't get a choice about knowing how real it is. And without the cake and the pictures and stuff, that's all there would be. Just his death. But when she remembers..."
"...She still has him," Zelda finished.
"At least a little," Bella said. "Maybe I'll make a cake for David." She glanced down at her right arm, snug in its sling. "The practice cooking one-handed would probably be good for me."
Or maybe that would be just too sad, making a cake that his tiny fists would never smash.
Bella tried to guess at the shape of the monster that lurked, waiting for her.
"Well, be gentle with yourself." Zelda looked at Edward. "Ask for support when you need it."
"I definitely will," Bella said, but she remembered as she spoke that David's memorial was on the wolves' land, and Edward would never be permitted to go there. That was a place Bella could only ever visit alone.
"I'm gonna bring your meds soon," the nurse said, heading for the door. "How's your pain?"
"I'm doing okay."
Bella stretched and grimaced. Her wounds no longer blazed the way they had for the first few days, but they still gave her a deep, unpleasant pull whenever she moved. At least the central line, that bit of plastic tubing that had been in place near her collarbone, had finally been taken out. Carlisle Cullen had come by earlier in the morning and removed it in preparation for her discharge. The spot still throbbed a bit, but she was much more comfortable now than when the line had been in.
"You sure?" The nurse asked. "There'll be a lot of activity today. You might want to stay on top of your pain so it doesn't sneak up on you."
"She's right, Bella," Edward said. "I've warned everyone that you won't be up to much, but..."
"All right," Bella agreed. "I'll take something."
An hour later, the medication began to do its work, making her feel less, care less. Edward gathered up the few personal things she had in the room, packing them into a clear plastic bag the hospital had provided. While he moved around the room, Bella stared at the date Zelda had written on the whiteboard that morning.
October 31st.
A year ago, Bella had gone into work at the publishing house where she'd worked since graduation. She'd been due in three weeks, and most projects had been taken off her desk by then, but she and Jacob had needed the money, so she'd gone in. She'd been proofreading copy for a travel book that was launching in a few months. It was about New Zealand, and it made Bella dream of seeing the place one day. She remembered rubbing her belly, prodding the baby until he obliged with a wriggle or a kick. David was moving less at the end, but she'd heard that was probably normal. It still worried her. Nonetheless, despite David's diagnosis, she and Jacob had been generally optimistic about their situation. This was likely because it's hard to be anything but optimistic when you're twenty-five and have never even come close to real tragedy.
For the two of them, in that time and place, everything was going to be okay because everything had always been okay. They might stress out over making rent sometimes, and they might fight over where they'd be spending Christmas this year or next, but, eventually, all those things had always turned out pretty much okay. Why would this be any different?
She and Jacob had been invited to a Halloween party at a friend's house that night, but Bella hadn't felt up to it, so they'd stayed in and handed out candy instead. She and Jacob ooh'd and aah'd over the kids' costumes, doling out handfuls of the candy they'd bought too much of. She particularly remembered a young couple who came to their door with their chocolate lab on a leash and a baby, just a few months old, nestled in his mother's arms. The dog had been dressed as a dragon; the baby, a knight. He'd given Bella a sleepy smile that made her all but melt with anticipatory joy.
Jacob had turned off the porch light about an hour after that. Bella was tired by then, so they'd gone to bed early. Even though Jacob hadn't been ready to sleep, he'd sat up beside her reading as she'd drifted off.
It'd been the last truly good night of her life.
There were two light taps on the hospital door, and Bella invited Carlisle to come in.
"How are you feeling today? Ready to face the world?" He carried Bella's chart and a paper shopping bag.
"I don't know about the world, but I'm ready to get out of this room, for sure." She shook off her reverie and forced a smile.
Carlisle brought the bag over and set it down beside Bella on the bed.
"Clothes, from Alice," he explained.
"Oh, great," Bella said. She opened the bag and found a long yellow dress, soft and loose. There was a thick, ruby-colored cardigan as well, along with underwear, knee socks, clogs, and a green wool coat with intricately-carved wooden buttons.
"I told her nothing that would compress or bind along your suture lines. These look okay?" He flipped through her chart as he spoke.
"They're great," Bella said. "They're from her company, right?" She recognized the earthy colors and relaxed styles that Second Sofia was known for.
"I believe so, yes," Carlisle said.
"They're really nice. Please tell her thank you."
"You can tell her yourself in an hour or so."
"Really? Alice is coming to pick me up?"
Edward chuckled. "As if we could have kept her away any longer. She's dying to talk with you, Bella. And to show you-"
Carlisle cleared his throat loudly.
"Show me what?"
"Well, I guess that's supposed to be a surprise."
"Come on, Edward. Tell me." Bella felt a twinge of annoyance. As if she needed any more surprises in her life right now.
He exchanged a look with Carlisle, who was frowning at him.
"Well, I'm sorry," Edward said to him. "You can blame me, all right?" He turned to Bella. "Alice and the others have taken the liberty of making some improvements to your house in preparation for your release."
"My house?" She frowned. "You mean Charlie's house?"
"Yes, we thought you'd want to be somewhere familiar. If you'd rather, we can find a new place for you-"
"No, no, it's fine. It's just, for some reason I thought-" She stopped, feeling foolish. She'd assumed she and Edward would be going together to the Cullens' home from the hospital. Her expression must have given her away, because Edward hurried to explain.
"I'm sorry for the misunderstanding, Bella. We should have talked about this sooner. We didn't think you'd be ready so quickly to live with the family full-time. We didn't want to rush you, you see, and... Well, there's much yet that you don't know about vampires. Things you need to know before you join us. We thought it might work better if you had some time to get to know everyone better while you still have some space of your own."
"There are some concerns, too, about how well the others might do sharing a home with a human woman," Carlisle added. "Alice thinks it'll be fine, but we didn't want to take any chances. None of them have spent that much time so close to a human since they were Changed. It may prove to be difficult for them, at least at first."
"Oh, okay," Bella nodded and looked down at her hand, her ring. "But, what about... I mean, will Edward-"
"I'll be with you, Bella," Edward said. His hands covered hers. "For as long as you'll have me. Of course I'll be with you. The family will have to do without me for a while."
"Oh. Good." She released a breath and met his eyes. "Good."
"And, of course, you'll both see the rest of us quite a bit," Carlisle said. "We haven't had a new family member in decades. The others are quite excited; they won't be able to stay away. And you're always welcome at the house, even while you're still human."
"While I'm still human," Bella repeated. Edward and Carlisle exchanged an uneasy look.
"We don't need to discuss this now," Edward said.
"No, it's okay," she said. "It's not like- I'm not going to get angry like I did before. I know we need to talk about it at some point. I just... You have to know that I'm not ready. To be that... different." Her eyes moved from Edward to Carlisle, taking in their pale skin, their golden eyes. Malina had been right. Once you knew, it was hard to forget they weren't human. "I want to be with you. I just still need to be me, for now."
"I understand," Edward said. "No one is going to rush you, Bella. There are no conditions upon being with me, with all of us. None."
Carlisle gave Edward a pointed look. Edward shook his head and looked away.
"What?" Bella asked. "What is it?"
"Nothing we can't discuss later," Edward said.
"Yes," Carlisle agree. "There's... much you need to know, and soon. But not today."
"Okay," she said reluctantly. "So, when do I get out of here?"
"I have your discharge papers here, and I've asked your nurse to call for transport. If you'd like to get dressed, you can be going in a few minutes."
When Carlisle'd left and closed the door behind him, Bella pushed back the blankets got out of bed. She wasn't quite steady on her feet, and Edward kept an arm around her.
"It's the meds," she said, shaking her head. "I'm such a lightweight."
"It's okay. I'll help you."
He helped her remove the hospital gown and start to dress in the clothes Alice had sent. She raised her arms for him, and he drew the yellow dress down over her head. He held the cardigan for her next. When only the socks and shoes were left, Bella sat down on the edge of the bed. Edward knelt at her feet and, one at a time, slipped her socks on. The backs of his hands slid up the backs of her calves as he did, and her breath quickened.
Ever aware, Edward glanced up at her, a question in his eyes. She felt her face go red.
"I'm fine," she said. "I'm just... Putting on socks shouldn't feel that good."
Understanding came over his face, followed by a flash of desire. His eyes moved to where he still held her stocking-clad foot in the palm of his hand. He met her eyes again and, very deliberately, ran his hand up the back of her calf, stopping at the sensitive skin just behind her knee. She stared at him, her heart pounding, her lips parted.
He moved away from her in a unsettling flash. When he stopped, he was standing to face the window, his back to her. She stared at him as her fingers dug into the sheets on the bed beside her. The silence in the room was thick and promising.
He didn't move until there was another knock on the door.
"Taxi time!" The door opened, and Zelda, Bella's purple-haired nurse, pushed a wheelchair into the room. "Transport is backed up, so Dr. Cullen asked if I'd take you down."
"You don't have to do that. We can wait," Bella said, stepping into her shoes. "I'm sure you're busy."
"It's fine. I have a few minutes. Another nurse is covering my patients."
"Well, okay then. We appreciate it." Bella looked back at Edward. "Should we take the flowers with us?" She glanced at the lilies and realized she didn't want them.
"Definitely not," he said. "Esme's superstitious. She'd never forgive me."
"Really? That seems... surprising," Bella said.
"Oh, lots of people feel that way," Zelda said, holding the wheelchair as Bella sat. The nurse started to hand Bella the bag with her belongings, but Edward took them from her.
"I'll carry that."
The three of them traveled in silence to the elevator. As they waited for the doors to open, Bella asked, "Is Carlisle coming with us?"
"He's on duty until seven," Edward said. "He'll come by the house later to check on you."
Esme and Alice were waiting on the sidewalk outside the entrance. Jasper was behind the wheel of the sedan that idled at the curb. He stepped out of the car as Bella and the nurse came out of the doors.
Bella studied the Cullens with new eyes, marveling at their other-worldliness. As Jasper approached her, she observed his movements, too precise, too controlled.
How do they ever fool anyone?
But they'd fooled her for years.
"Do you have luggage, Bella?" Jasper asked.
She laughed. "No, I'm afraid I didn't have a chance to pack before I checked in."
He smiled, embarrassed. "Of course. Shall we be going then?"
There was a movement to Bella's left, a blur. Edward. One moment he'd been behind her; now he stood between her and whatever he was staring at some distance away.
"Take her. Get out of here," Edward growled. "I will kill him." His posture shifted, and he cocked his head, realizing. "...and he knows that. He wants me to kill him."
"Time to go, Bella," Jasper said. He offered her a hand.
"What's going on?" Bella said, leaning to peer around Edward. She saw him then, the man striding toward them, his head down. The man she'd shared a bed with for the better part of a decade.
"Just take her," Edward said to Jasper. He turned to Bella. "You must go with them, now!"
She pushed Jasper's hand away from her.
"No! Let me talk to him."
Zelda glanced from Bella to Edward, and finally to Jacob. "What's going on here? Do we need security?"
"No," Bella said. "He's not dangerous. He just needs to see I'm okay."
Edward turned to her. His muscles shook. His eyes were wild. "Bella-"
"Edward, it'll be okay," Alice interrupted. She looked past him at nothing. "I see us at the house. She loves the curtains, hates the rugs. God, I told Rose she'd hate that damned rug! She drinks tea, and I tell her about Sofia." Her eyes focused on Edward's worried face. "Let her talk to him."
"Alice, you don't know-"
"I do know. Let her talk to him."
"Alice!"
"Look, Edward! Look and see what happens if you don't."
Edward's eyes met his sister's, and his face changed. If it were possible, he'd grown paler.
"Okay," he said. "Enough."
"Sorry," Alice said.
Edward stood straighter, forcing himself out of the crouch he'd been in since he'd spotted Jacob. He was no longer on the verge of leaping at the other man, but he didn't move from his protective position in front of Bella's wheelchair, either. He glared as Jacob came closer. Jacob's eyes were tortured, and they were fixed on Bella.
"Your face," Jacob said, stopping a few yards from Bella and the vampires. "It's not-" He shook his head, breathing hard. "They wouldn't tell me, so I thought-"
"I'm okay, Jacob," Bella said, her tone soothing, careful.
He began to weep.
"I thought I'd killed you. I thought that was why they wouldn't tell me anything. I thought you were dead." He glanced at Edward and Alice. "Or like them. Because of me."
"I'm alive." Bella said. "Leah and Carlisle, they saved me."
"Are you saying that you did this to her?" Zelda choked out the words. "Does Dr. Cullen know this? Do the police know?"
Bella glanced behind her. The nurse was backing toward the hospital doors, her eyes darting around, looking for help.
"It was an-" Jacob started to answer her and stopped. He stopped and stared as the purple-haired nurse retreated, terror plain on her face.
"My god," Jasper breathed. "Oh my god." He staggered and nearly fell where he stood. Alice caught him, her eyes wide.
"Jasper, what-" She stopped. Her eyes went unfocused, and her breath drew in. "Oh. Oh my." She turned to Edward, her face full of wonder. "We can go now. He won't mind."
In a flash, Edward was beside Bella. His arms moved around her, lifting her from the chair. Esme held the car door, and Bella didn't protest as Edward placed her gently inside.
She didn't understand what was happening, but she strongly sensed that it was, indeed, time to be going.
Alice shook Jasper enough to get him to move, to climb into the front seat with her. Esme drove. Edward closed his own car door a moment later, and the vehicle pulled away, leaving behind only Jacob Black on his knees on the pavement, staring, frozen, at the hospital doors that had just hissed shut behind the retreating figure of Bella's nurse.