6.
She fell back into the room and quickly rolled out of the way as the Inquisitor's red blade came crashing down. Scrambling backward, she realized the only way out was now blocked. She was trapped. The Inquisitor slowly advanced towards her, an evil smile on her face.
She felt something invisible close around her throat as the Inquisitor reached out with her other hand. She clawed frantically at her neck, but the grip only tightened more. Dropping to her knees, gasping for air, she looked up as the Inquisitor swung the blade down on her…
"No!" Jaina bolted upright, now wide awake. Another, more strangled, cry escaped her lips, this one from the burning, stabbing pain in her ribs. She collapsed back onto the bed, struggling to breathe through the agony. Waves of nausea rolled through her, and she squeezed her eyes shut as she waited for it to pass. A moment later, she heard the door open and footsteps came rushing in.
"What's wrong?" The voice sounded alarmed but cautious. Jaina opened her eyes and saw Emry was standing there, a semi-worried look on her face, her hand resting on her blaster.
"N-nothing," Jaina managed to get out. The pain was still intense, and she closed her eyes again as another wave of nausea struck.
"I heard you yell…" Emry began, then trailed off as she finally seemed to realize how much pain she was in. "Maybe I should go get the doctor."
Jaina shook her head as best she could. "N-no…no doctor," she wheezed. "Dream…it…it was a dream. I'm fine." Emry didn't seem convinced and stood there as Jaina tried to get a handle on the pain. It felt like forever had passed before it finally subsided enough for her to open her eyes again.
Emry was regarding her warily, but Jaina could feel the worry that was lurking beneath her expression. "I'm fine," she repeated, more clearly this time. "It was just a bad dream."
Emry finally seemed satisfied and turned to go. "They've got you on guard duty today?" Jaina asked before she could get out the door. Besides the occasional visit from Ahsoka and her daily visits from the doctor, she'd had no interaction with anyone since she'd arrived. She was craving conversation with someone other than those two.
Emry turned around and narrowed her eyes. "Yeah," she said slowly. "How'd you know I was on guard duty though, and not just passing by?"
Jaina shrugged. "It's not exactly a secret I'm being guarded. I see them sitting out there whenever the door opens."
She didn't add that she could also feel their contempt at being assigned to guard her. Belatedly, she realized she didn't feel any of that same contempt from Emry. No, Emry's emotions seemed to be warring with themselves, with anger and hostility having a slight edge on sympathy.
"I don't think you have to worry, though," she continued, giving Emry a slight smile. "I'm not going anywhere."
Emry didn't respond. Jaina could sense something was bothering her, so she fell silent and waited. Finally, Emry spoke. "Is it true?" Jaina could hear the anger behind her words.
"Is what true?" she replied calmly. She had a feeling she already knew the answer, but she wanted to give Emry the chance to say whatever it was that was bothering her.
"You're an Imperial officer?" Emry spat the words out like she'd eaten a bad piece of food.
Jaina hesitated, wondering how she should answer. She had nothing to gain by lying; it would only make Emry more upset, and she needed as many allies as she could get here. Ahsoka said she needed to earn their trust, and as much as she didn't like it, she would try.
"Yes," she finally replied. Emry stiffened at the response and her hand twitched towards her blaster.
"I should've let you die out there," she bit out. Jaina flinched. She knew Emry must have her reasons for her hostility, but having it aimed directly at her hurt more than she'd expected. It was the first time she'd been on the other end of someone's hatred towards the Empire. And it didn't feel good.
"I was an Imperial officer," she corrected herself. "Not anymore."
"Not since we caught you, you mean," Emry replied, crossing her arms.
"No," Jaina said, shaking her head. "I left before I ran into you on Akiva." She should've said deserted but she couldn't bring herself to do it. "I wasn't with the Empire then, and I'm not now."
Emry looked taken aback. She stared at Jaina, and Jaina could tell she didn't know what to say. "I'm sorry," Jaina said sincerely.
"For what?" Emry asked. The anger was starting to drain out of her, although Jaina had a feeling it was about to come rushing back. But she felt the need to say it anyway.
"For whatever the Empire did to make you feel this way," she replied. She was right. Emry stiffened again and her eyes narrowed as her anger returned. "I know it means nothing, especially coming from me, but I wanted you to know…I truly am sorry."
Emry glared at her for a long moment, then her face softened slightly. "You're right. It doesn't mean anything coming from you. But," she took a deep breath, "I appreciate you saying it."
Jaina gave her a small nod and mentally breathed a sigh of relief as she felt the anger start to drain out of Emry again. The pain in her ribs was finally gone and she suddenly felt antsy. She'd lost track of how long she'd been here already—it had to have been at least a week—and she hadn't been allowed out of the bed yet. The urge to stand up, to move, to walk, was so strong she couldn't deny it anymore.
She threw the blanket off her legs and sat all the way up, being careful not to jostle her ribs too much. Other than the ribs, everything else had healed, for the most part. She'd have some scarring from the burns and lacerations, but it would be very minor. Emry had started to leave when she noticed what Jaina was doing and immediately turned back around.
"What're you doing?" she asked warily, her hand hovering over her blaster again.
"What does it look like?" Jaina replied, gingerly swinging her legs over the side of the bed. "Getting up. I can't take lying here any longer."
"I'm not sure that's a good idea," Emry said, frowning.
"Me either," Jaina replied, giving her a small smile. She noticed Emry's hand still hovering over her blaster and nodded at it. "You can point it at me if it'll make you feel better. I promise I'm not going to try and escape, but feel free to shoot me if I do."
Emry said nothing and moved closer to Jaina, her hand now resting on the blaster. Jaina shrugged and, using the bed for support, finally stood up. And instantly learned it was a mistake. Her body was not ready for the sudden change from sitting to standing, and the room spun. Her legs immediately buckled and she started to fall forward, but hands caught her before she hit the floor.
Emry helped her stand back up and didn't let go of her as she waited for the dizziness to pass. "Thanks," Jaina said weakly.
"I told you it wasn't a good idea," Emry scolded as she helped her lean against the bed again.
"And you were right," Jaina replied. The searing pain in her ribs was back and it hurt to breathe but she wasn't going to be deterred. "I won't tell the doc if you don't." Emry gave her a cross look.
"You should probably lie back down now," she retorted.
"Yeah," Jaina said, "I probably should. But…I'm already up. Might as well see if I can walk a few steps."
Emry looked at her like she was crazy and shook her head. "Don't worry," Jaina told her, "the doc isn't due to come back until later. But if you're that concerned about getting in trouble, you're more than welcome to leave."
Emry hesitated and for a moment Jaina thought she might actually leave. "Fine," she finally huffed. "But don't expect me to be upset if you get hurt."
"I won't," Jaina replied. "I imagine it might give you some satisfaction to see me in pain." Emry shrugged in response and Jaina made a mental note to do whatever it took to not hurt herself even more than she already was. Regardless, she was happy Emry decided to stay. It was nice to talk to someone her own age for once, even if Emry didn't like her.
Emry grudgingly stood next to her, ready to catch her if she fell again, as she inched her way around the bed, using it for support. Her entire body protested the effort, but she didn't care. She was mobile again and that feeling outweighed the pain that came with it. She crawled back into bed after she'd made it around to the other side, thoroughly exhausted from the effort.
"Thank you," she said, as Emry started to walk out. "I know you hate me, but I appreciate you putting that aside to help me."
Emry turned back around. "I don't hate you," she said with a sigh. "I'm sorry for what I said before. I shouldn't have said it."
"It's okay," Jaina replied, shrugging. "You're angry. I get that."
Emry nodded. "Still though. You saved my life and I can't forget that."
"And you saved mine," Jaina said. "So I'd say we're even."
Emry nodded again. She paused, thinking. "You said you were no longer an Imperial on Akiva, right?"
"Right," Jaina confirmed. "Why? Do you not believe me?"
"No…I think I do. But there's something I need to know first," Emry said. "During the firefight, you were supposed to go first, but you didn't. Brentin did, and he was able to escape. If you hadn't traded places with him, we all would've died." Jaina nodded, remembering.
"So, why?" Emry continued. "Why didn't you go first? Why didn't you take the opportunity to save yourself?"
"Brentin has a family," Jaina said quietly. "A wife and a young son. His safety was more important than mine."
Emry studied her for a long moment before speaking. "Then I believe you. No real Imperial would've made that decision."
Jaina slowly nodded and didn't say anything. She knew Emry was right. As much as she hated to admit it, if she'd been in the same position only two months ago, she wasn't sure if she would've made the same choice.
Emry seemed satisfied and headed for the door. "If you need anything," she said as the door slid open, "I'll be right outside." And with that, she left.
After that day, whenever Emry was on guard duty, she'd make a point to at least come in and say hello to Jaina. Their interactions were very hesitant at first, and Jaina never pushed the issue of being starved for conversation. She knew if Emry wanted to talk to her, she would, in her own time. And eventually, she did.
As a general, unspoken rule, they steered clear of any talk about their time with the Empire and the Rebellion. Most of the time, especially early on, they spent just getting to know one another. Not one person Jaina had been friendly with during her time with the Empire had ever cared about where she came from and what her family was like, but Emry seemed to. And as guarded as she was, Jaina found Emry easy to talk to and didn't mind sharing.
Emry was just as guarded as she was but slowly started opening up as well. Jaina learned she was from a small Mid-Rim world, whose existence would've gone unnoticed had it not been for the wealth of minerals lying beneath its service. The Empire had been mining it for years, and Emry's entire family worked in the mines. Their lives growing up had been vastly different, but they were still able to find more common ground than they thought they would.
Rex would sometimes accompany Emry, and once Jaina learned that he'd fought in the Clone Wars alongside the Jedi, her interest in what he had to say grew significantly. She hadn't been all that keen to learn more about the Jedi until Rex started telling her stories of the battles he'd fought in, and the crazy, insane things he'd seen them do. It was fascinating to listen to him, and she secretly wondered if she could learn some of those same skills.
She wanted to ask Ahsoka, but her visits were always very brief; usually just to check on Jaina and see how she was doing. She had, however, taken the time to teach her how to meditate. And after she'd done it a few times, she came to really appreciate it; it helped calm her mind whenever it threatened to spin out of control. But besides that, and the day she'd explained what the Force was and why Jaina's connection to it was important, Ahsoka hadn't brought up anything related to it since.
A few weeks after arriving, the doctor finally deemed her healed enough to move out of the hospital room she was in. When General Syndulla came to get her, she had already resigned herself to the fact that she was going to be marched directly into a cell. However, Syndulla surprised her by giving her a small tour of the base they were in—which was far larger than Jaina had expected—and then taking her to one of the rooms on the housing level.
She was even more shocked when Emry opened the door. "Emry has graciously agreed to allow you to stay with her," Syndulla said. She then gave Jaina a stern look. "However, there are some rules you're going to have to follow. Break any of them, and I won't hesitate to throw you in a cell until we can send you back to the Empire."
Jaina solemnly nodded and caught Emry giving her a confused look. Apparently, no one had told her Jaina was wanted by the Empire. She shook her head slightly and made a mental note to tell Emry what the general meant by that later.
"First, you're to go nowhere without an escort. It doesn't matter who it is, but you are not allowed to be anywhere alone. You haven't earned that privilege yet." Yet. The word echoed in Jaina's mind and a tiny sliver of hope formed behind it.
"Second, you need to have this comlink on you at all times, in case we need to contact you." She handed Jaina a comlink and she slipped it into her pocket. "If we do call you, you need to answer." Jaina nodded again. What the general didn't say, but what Jaina knew, was that they could track her movements with it as well.
"Other than that," the general continued, " you're free to come and go from your room as you please, so long as you have that escort. Whoever's with you will let you know what areas are off-limits."
She regarded Jaina coolly before continuing again: "This is a lot more freedom than some wanted to give you. If it had been up to them, they would've thrown you in a cell and been done with it. This is your chance to prove to us that we can trust you."
Jaina gave her the most sincere look she could. "I appreciate the opportunity. And I won't let you down."
"I hope not," Syndulla replied, and with that, she turned on her heel and left. Emry helped Jaina get settled in, then took her on a more detailed tour of the base, pointing out the areas she wasn't allowed to go.
"Don't feel bad," she told Jaina, as they passed yet another area that was off-limits, "I'm not allowed in the majority of these areas either. Only the higher ranking officers are."
Jaina idly nodded. She understood that. The Empire had had the same rules in all of the garrisons and ships she'd been in. The Rebellion appeared to be a lot more organized than she had originally thought. They eventually made their way back to the room and Emry left to go to work. She never said what she did, and Jaina knew better than to ask.
There wasn't much else she could do, so she settled into a long meditation. It was quickly becoming one of her favorite things, mainly because of how she felt after she was done. Her head was always clearer and she felt at peace. Rowen would've been proud of her: she'd finally found another way to deal with her demons that didn't involve slowly drinking herself to death.
Over the next few weeks, she tried to establish as much of a routine as she could, but it was hard when she couldn't go anywhere on her own. She spent a lot of time in meditation or scrolling through what little news from around the galaxy Emry could scrounge up for her. When Emry wasn't working, she was kind enough to accompany Jaina on walks or jogs around the outside of the base, just so she could get out of the room and get some fresh air.
It was on one of these walks, down a new path into the woods they'd discovered, that Jaina finally found out where Emry's hatred of the Empire stemmed from. The conversation had started out innocently enough.
"Have you spoken to yours recently?" Jaina asked her as they walked. She was talking about Emry's family. The topic had only come up because Jaina had just finished telling her about the dream she'd had the night before, about her own family. She'd woken up feeling more homesick than she had in a very long time.
Emry didn't answer right away and Jaina felt her mood instantly shift. "No," she finally said. Her tone was bitter. "I haven't."
Jaina wanted to ask why but had a feeling it wasn't a good idea. They walked a few more steps in silence before Emry spoke again. "My parents died in a mining accident when I was ten. My older brother raised me after that." She sighed heavily. "There were accidents all the time. It wasn't like the Empire cared if the working conditions were good or not. All they cared about was how they could squeeze every last drop of effort out of their workers.
"By that point, my brother was old enough to take their place, so he did. Even though I begged him not to. Everything was fine for a few years until another major accident happened. He was lucky to get out alive. After that, the workers started to fight back against the conditions they were forced to work in."
Jaina snuck a glance at her as she talked and could see she looked just as angry as she felt. "Of course," Emry continued, "the Empire didn't like that. At first, the protests were calm. But they escalated quickly. One night, my brother didn't come home when he was supposed to, so I went looking for him. I found him at the mine. He was helping lead one of the protests." Jaina could detect a hint of pride in her voice, but it quickly changed to back to anger.
"The Imperial in charge of the mine issued a warning to the protestors, telling them to leave or they'd be arrested. Of course, no one moved. And without even giving them another chance, without even arresting them like he said he would, he simply gave an order and the troopers fired." Jaina's mouth dropped open in shock as Emry stopped walking and turned on her, her hands clenched into fists.
"They killed every one of them, including my brother," she said angrily, struggling to hold back tears. "Murdered them. I watched the whole thing, too terrified to move, afraid they'd see me and shoot me too."
Jaina was speechless. She couldn't wrap her mind around what Emry was telling her. Emry couldn't be talking about the same Empire she'd worked for, could she? It seemed impossible. She'd never heard of or seen anything like that happen, ever. It had to have been a rogue officer. And he certainly had to have been punished for murdering civilians. The Empire would never let that kind of a crime go unanswered.
"I'm sorry," Jaina quietly said, after a long silence. Emry was glaring at her, and Jaina could see she was visibly shaking with anger. She held Emry's gaze, bracing herself for whatever Emry might do in response to the rage pulsing through her. It was so strong it was setting Jaina on edge, but she promised herself she wouldn't fight back if Emry struck out at her.
For a moment it seemed like Emry might actually hit her, but then she took a deep breath and steadied herself. "After that, I had no one, so I left the first chance I got. Vowed I'd get revenge on the Empire one way or another. And here I am."
Jaina nodded. Emry had finally stopped shaking and Jaina could feel some of the anger leaving her. Emry took another deep breath and continued: "Now you know why I had the reaction I did when I found out you were an Imperial."
"If that had happened to me, I would've had the same reaction," Jaina said sympathetically. "I'm really, really sorry that happened to you."
Emry turned and started walking again and Jaina fell into step beside her. "It's not just me," she said. "Ask anyone here, and the majority will tell you a similar story. For most of us…this fight is personal."
Jaina said nothing and they walked on in silence. She believed that every word of what Emry told her was true, but she was still having a hard time comprehending the why of it. And if there were more stories like hers…she shuddered. She wasn't ready to believe the Empire was as bad as Emry was saying, but she couldn't deny what she'd heard.
"What about you?" Emry asked after a while. They'd made a wide loop and were heading back in the general direction of the base.
"Hmm?" Jaina said, pulling herself out of her thoughts. "What do you mean?"
"Have you spoken to your family recently?" Emry replied. "I mean, before you got blown up and ended up here." She gave Jaina a small smile.
Jaina frowned and immediately wanted to change the subject. Just like Emry hadn't told her the specifics of what had happened to her family, Jaina hadn't shared any of the finer details of hers. But, her issues with her mother and father paled in comparison to what had happened to Emry. And if Emry could share that painful memory with her, then she could at least share hers.
"No," she said stiffly, "I haven't. I…uh…actually haven't spoken to them since I was sixteen."
Emry stopped walking again and gawked at her. "You, what?" The disbelief in her voice made Jaina feel even more guilty. "Like, you weren't allowed to? The Empire didn't let you or something?"
"No…" Jaina said slowly. She could feel her face starting to turn red. "It was, umm, my choice." She turned to start walking again but Emry grabbed her arm and stopped her.
"Nope," she said, shaking her head, "you're not going anywhere until you tell me why."
Jaina sighed. "They were adamantly against me joining. They hated the Empire, though they never seemed to be able to come up with a good reason why. Rather than support me, like you'd think any good parent would do, especially considering I was their only child…my father picked a fight as I was getting ready to board the shuttle to go to Coruscant.
"I was so angry with them that day…" she trailed off as the memory came rushing back. "I said some things I never should've. I regretted it the instant the shuttle took off, but there wasn't anything I could've done about it by that point. Once I got to Coruscant, I kept meaning to call them, to at least let them know I was okay, but I'd always find an excuse not to. Eventually…I just stopped making excuses. Figured they probably wouldn't want to talk to me anyway."
"I'm sure that's not true," Emry said, frowning. "Like you said, you were their only child. I can't imagine they wouldn't want to hear from you."
Jaina idly nodded. She'd had this argument over and over again in her head, but her reasons and excuses for why she hadn't reached out always seemed childish and immature. Telling Emry about it confirmed that they were, indeed, just that.
"I bet if we talked to General Syndulla, she might be able to figure out a way for you to get in contact with them," Emry said thoughtfully. Jaina didn't answer, and she quickly added, "I mean, if you'd want to that is."
Jaina shook her head. "I can't now. Not with the Empire looking for me. It'd just put them in danger. I'm sure Mandalore was the first place they checked after I disappeared. And besides," she sighed heavily, "I don't even know if they're still alive."
Emry frowned but didn't say anything. She knew Jaina was right. They continued walking in silence, both of them lost in thought. As they gradually made their way back to the base, Jaina could sense there'd been a shift in the nature of their relationship.
Up until this point, they'd been friendly with each other but also guarded. The invisible wall that had been between them, automatically put there by the Empire and the Rebellion, had slowly started to crumble the more they got to know each other. After the conversation they'd just had, Jaina could tell that the wall was now completely gone. Any subtle hostility she used to feel in Emry had also vanished.
The last thing Jaina had expected to find while she was here was a friend, but she wasn't upset that it'd happened. And the fact that Emry had been willing to put aside her loathing and give her a chance, meant more to her than Emry would ever know.
They headed straight to the mess hall once they got back, trading stories of the most embarrassing things their parents had done to them while they ate. Jaina hadn't laughed that much since leaving Akiva and she could've stayed there all night had Emry not gotten called into work.
After Emry dropped her off at the room, she showered and crawled into bed. Sleep was elusive, however, and she laid awake for a long time, thinking about what Emry had told her. If she was right, and a lot of the people here had similar stories to hers, then what had been the point of her job?
Loyalty officers were supposed to be the safeguard against corruption in the ranks, ensuring that no one strayed too far out of line. Jaina knew there was always a shortage—which is why she stayed so busy—but if things like what had happened to Emry's brother were happening all over the Empire, then she should've heard about it. Been called in to investigate it, at least. But she'd heard nothing.
The more she thought about it, the fewer answers she had, and the angrier she got. She tossed and turned for hours, unable to shut her mind off. Sleep came eventually, and when it did, it was filled with dreams of faceless stormtroopers, gunning down her mother and father while she helplessly watched…