11.
Ahsoka was waiting for her when she emerged from the rocks. Seeing Jaina, she looked down at her wrist, then back up again. Jaina pushed harder, knowing she was running out of time. However, this was the fourth time today she'd run the endurance course Ahsoka had set up, and she was more than a little tired.
She reached into the Force for strength and felt it respond; her pace increased slightly and she sprinted for the finish, diving past Ahsoka and sprawling onto the ground. She lay there, breathing hard, wondering if she'd beaten her previous time. Ahsoka's face suddenly loomed over her.
"One second—" she paused, her face a complete mask "—faster." She smiled slightly and Jaina breathed a sigh of relief. "You were able to access the Force more easily that time, weren't you?"
"Yes," Jaina replied breathlessly. "Especially at the end." She sat up and gladly accepted the bottle of water Ahsoka was offering her. She slowly sipped on it, trying to make the most of the rest she was getting before Ahsoka made her run it yet again.
"When you're ready to go, we'll head back," Ahsoka said. Jaina shot her an incredulous look.
"We're done for the day?" she tentatively asked. It was almost too good to be true. They'd been on Lothal for over a month now and Ahsoka had never cut a training session short before.
"I have some business to take care of in the city," Ahsoka replied. She was being purposefully vague, which told Jaina she was taking care of something for the Rebellion. Asking for details was pointless—she knew Ahsoka would never give them to her.
"Well then, I'm ready to go right now," Jaina said, getting to her feet. She couldn't believe her luck.
They climbed into the speeder and Jaina spent the ride back to their new home trying not to show how excited she was to have the rest of the afternoon off. Especially since the next day was her full day off. From the start, Ahsoka had given them both one day off a week, and Jaina always looked forward to those days the most.
"Do you need anything while I'm there?" Ahsoka asked as Jaina climbed out of the speeder at the tower.
"No," Jaina replied, shaking her head, "I think I'm good."
"All right," Ahsoka said. "I'll be back later then. Oh, and don't forget—" she jutted her chin towards the tower.
"Yeah, yeah," Jaina interrupted, "I won't." She smiled sheepishly, knowing Ahsoka had caught her. Ahsoka smirked, then turned the speeder around and headed towards the city. Jaina shook her head, watching her, wondering how Ahsoka had known she was about to disregard one of the rules she'd laid out for her.
Sighing, she walked over to the base of the tower and crouched down. Ever the mindful teacher, Ahsoka could turn any mundane task into an opportunity for her to learn or practice something. Getting from the ground to their home at the top was no different.
She paused, feeling the Force build inside her, like a compressed spring waiting to break free. Finally, she released the energy and jumped straight up, aiming for one of the antennas protruding from the tower. This time, she was able to land on top of it, and, after teetering precariously for a second, repeated what she'd just done, aiming for the next antenna above her.
She reached the top in three jumps, noting with a small amount of satisfaction, she'd gone a little bit higher than the last time. Feeling pleased—and more than ready for a nap—she hit the door release and entered the tower. She got no more than two steps before she realized she wasn't alone.
Sabine was standing in front of the holoprojector speaking to someone, wearing the same surprised expression she was. Jaina had expected to have the place to herself; Sabine was usually out doing whatever it was she did during the day. Judging by Sabine's face, she hadn't expected to see Jaina either.
Jaina mouthed an apology to her and headed straight for her room, trying to mask her interest in who Sabine was speaking to. The woman was wearing armor as well, albeit not as colorful, and seeing her brought back the memory of her parent's closet again.
Sabine and the woman resumed their conversation, and as they did, Jaina was overcome with homesickness. She hadn't heard her native language spoken since she'd left Mandalore. She sank onto her bed, smiling as she listened to them. She couldn't hear them clearly, but judging from Sabine's irritated tone, she had a feeling the other woman was her mother.
Sabine told the woman goodbye, and Jaina walked out of her room as Sabine was switching the holoprojector off.
"Your mother?" she asked Sabine, in Mando'a. Sabine huffed and made a face.
"Yeah," she said, automatically replying in their native tongue. "I know she means well—" She stopped and stared at Jaina. It confirmed what Jaina already suspected: no one had told Sabine where she was from.
"How do you know Mando'a?" Sabine asked, switching to Basic and eyeing her suspiciously.
"How do you think?" Jaina replied, still in Mando'a. Sabine studied her for a moment, then the suspicion left her face.
"Huh," she said, switching back to Mando'a. "Interesting. Where did you grow up?"
"On Mandalore," Jaina replied. "In Sundari. What about you?"
"On Mandalore as well, but also on Krownest," Sabine replied. Jaina nodded. She'd heard of Krownest but didn't know anything else about the planet other than that it was covered in ice and snow.
"So why are you here on Lothal, and not there?" Jaina asked. She was aware of the unrest on their homeworld and considering Sabine used to be a rebel, she was surprised she hadn't gone back to help the resistance that had sprung up there.
Sabine arched her brow. "I could ask you the same question."
"It's…complicated," Jaina replied, after a moment. She wasn't about to offer any more information, not yet. "What about you?"
"Probably just as complicated," Sabine replied with a faint smile. "Where's Ahsoka?"
"Said she had to take care of something in town," Jaina replied, "so she cut our training early and gave me the rest of the day off."
"Lucky you," Sabine said. "Well, I've got nothing else to do today either, so….got any ideas?"
It took Jaina a moment to realize Sabine was asking her if she wanted to hang out. She slowly looked around the room, thinking. "Not really…"
"Oh wait, I've got one," Sabine said, and quickly disappeared into her room. She was soon back, carrying something in her hand that looked vaguely familiar. "When's the last time you played Cubikahd?"
That's why she'd recognized it. Jaina thought for a moment, then smiled. "Years ago. Probably when I was at the Academy in Sundari."
Sabine's eyebrows shot up and she snapped her fingers. "That's why you looked so familiar! I think we were there at the same time. Did you ever hang out in Quinn and Ryker's room?"
A grin broke out on Jaina's face. "I did."
Quinn and Ryker had been two of her close friends at the Academy, and their room had been the gathering place for pretty much everyone in their class. She'd had a lot of firsts in that room: first taste of alcohol, first kiss, first real fistfight. It was also the first time she felt like she truly belonged somewhere; it had helped to set her on the path she'd eventually take with the Empire.
"If I'm remembering correctly," Sabine said, setting the game down on the table, "you were pretty good at this game."
Jaina chuckled. "Being Force-sensitive has its advantages." She hadn't known then that's what had helped her, but she did now. She'd rarely lost, and had made quite a few credits off those who'd dared to challenge her.
Sabine raised an eyebrow at her. "Oh, so you cheated?"
"Not exactly," Jaina said, laughing. "Teenagers are terrible at hiding their emotions. I just took advantage of that." She shrugged. "And I've always been good at reading people. It's why—" she stopped.
She was about to say, "it's why I was recruited to be a loyalty officer", but she wasn't certain how much Sabine knew about her. If she hadn't known they shared a homeworld, then there was a good chance she didn't know Jaina had only recently left the Empire. They got along well enough, at least so far, and Jaina didn't want to ruin it.
Sabine was looking at her, waiting for her to continue. "It's why, what?"
Jaina hesitated, then replied: "It's why I won all the time." Not completely a lie, but not the whole truth either.
"I don't think I remember seeing you in there, though," she told Sabine, eager to change the subject.
"I wasn't in there all the time," Sabine said, turning the game on. "And when I was, I knew better than to challenge you to a match."
"Well, let's see if I still got it," Jaina said, taking a seat across from her. Conversation ceased as they dove right in. All the years of not playing had left her rusty, and Sabine quickly beat her.
In the next game, however, Jaina found her stride. Without her face masked by her helmet, Jaina was able to easily pick up on the same subtle cues she'd used all those years ago. She handily beat Sabine, leaving Sabine shaking her head in amusement after it was over.
"Now I'm really glad I never challenged you," Sabine said. "I would've lost all my credits."
Jaina grinned at her. "It's a good thing we're just playing for fun, then." She looked around the room. "And, since we're just playing for fun, and have nothing else to do…got anything to drink around here?"
Sabine looked confused for a second, then her face slowly broke into a grin as she realized what Jaina was talking about. "Now you're speaking my language." She got up and went to a cabinet in the half-finished kitchen area, and pulled out a bottle of what Jaina recognized as Chandrillan whiskey.
"Ahsoka won't mind?" Sabine asked as she poured them both a drink.
"Ahsoka's not here," Jaina replied, shrugging. "And I have tomorrow off, too, so no, I don't think she'll care."
"Fair enough," Sabine said, resetting the game for another round.
"So…when did you leave the Empire?" Jaina asked while Sabine contemplated her move. She was genuinely curious as to how Sabine ended up as a rebel. After hearing what happened to Emry, she wondered if something similar had happened to Sabine.
Sabine frowned, and Jaina could tell she'd touched a nerve. Still, she answered her. "Right at the end of our second year at the Academy."
That was a surprise, and before Jaina could ask why, Sabine continued: "They made me do things that were wrong…things I didn't agree with. So I left."
Something told her not to push the subject any further, so she didn't. Sabine made her move, and they sat quietly for a moment, while Jaina pondered hers.
"What about you?" Sabine asked after Jaina took her turn. "When did you leave?"
It was Jaina's turn to frown. She'd walked herself right into the question by asking Sabine first. "I, uh…just recently left."
Sabine's head shot up and her eyes narrowed. "How recently?"
Jaina counted up the months in her head and was surprised at how much time had already passed. "Almost five months ago."
Sabine stared at the cube for a long moment, but Jaina could tell she wasn't thinking about the game. "So," she said slowly, "you only left five months ago. That means—" she looked at Jaina, shocked. "How the hell did they not find out about you?"
"Oh, they eventually figured it out," Jaina replied wryly. "That's why I left. You asked me why I'm here on Lothal and not on Mandalore? That's why."
Sabine slowly nodded. "Because the Empire would've assumed that'd be the first place you'd go. Back home." Jaina nodded in agreement, and Sabine suddenly looked stricken. "Do your mother and father know?"
"About what?" Jaina asked. "Me? Or the fact that I deserted the Empire and now they're hunting me?"
"Both," Sabine answered. "If I know the Empire, they would've gone to Mandalore anyway. Your family could be in danger. Have you spoken to them?"
Jaina shook her head. "No. I didn't even know what I was until Ahsoka told me. There's no way they could've known. And they don't know that I've deserted either. Even if the Empire questioned them, they'd have nothing to say. I haven't spoken to them in six years."
She'd expected the same look of shock from Sabine that she'd gotten from Emry when she'd told her, but Sabine just frowned and sat back in her chair. "Well," she said, "what about the rest of your family? Do they know anything?"
Jaina shook her head again. "It was just me, my mother, and father. I don't have any other family."
That got a reaction from Sabine, where it hadn't from Emry. It was the same reaction she'd gotten from her classmates at the Academy in Sundari when they'd found out. Everyone she'd met there had at least a couple of siblings, and countless other relatives in the clan their family belonged to. She seemed to be the only one that didn't. It had bothered her then—just one more thing that made her different than everyone else—but she'd forgotten about it once she left Mandalore.
"To be honest," Jaina continued, "I don't even know if they're still alive. And with the Empire looking for me, I have no way of finding out."
She'd lost track of whose turn it was, so while Sabine sat, quietly thinking, Jaina drained her glass and poured herself another one. The old urge to drink until she couldn't feel anything was back, and she could almost hear Rowen's voice scolding her.
"I might be able to help," Sabine finally said, breaking the silence. "I could ask my mother to look into it. Quietly, of course."
"Do you think she would?" Jaina asked. "Wouldn't it seem suspicious, you suddenly asking her for information about two people she's never met?"
"Yeah, it probably would," Sabine conceded. "But," she continued, after a moment, "I could say I'm asking on behalf of the Alliance. I'm kind of their go-between with our people anyway, so it wouldn't be all that unusual if I make it seem like it's coming from them."
"That could work," Jaina said thoughtfully. "I guess it couldn't hurt to try." She tried to sound casual, but she could hear the hope behind her words. She wanted, no needed, to know if they were still alive or not; this was the best chance she'd had so far, to find out.
"You'll have to give me some more details about them," Sabine said, "so I can pass them along to my mother. Their names would be a good start."
"Leena and Hiram Kavos," Jaina replied.
"Hmm, your last name's not familiar to me, but it might be to her," Sabine said. "What else?"
"I'm not sure what else would be helpful," Jaina said. "They owned a shop in the eastern district, a few blocks off the main square. We lived above it. But I'm not sure if it's still there or not. I haven't been back in six years either.
"And," she continued, "they had armor, like yours. I never saw them wear it. They kept it hanging, in a closet. I found it when I was a kid, and only saw it once. Seeing yours reminded me of it."
Sabine arched her brow. "That's interesting…and could be more helpful than you realize. Do you remember seeing any markings on it at all?"
Jaina closed her eyes, picturing the armor. "Nothing specific, no." She opened her eyes again. "But it wasn't as colorful as yours. Grey and blue were the only colors I remember seeing."
Sabine cocked her head and peered closely at her. "You're absolutely sure you don't have any other family besides your parents?"
"Yes," Jaina replied firmly. "It was just us."
"Okay," Sabine said after a moment. "I'll ask my mother to look into it the next time I speak to her."
"Thank you," Jaina said, "I really appreciate it."
Sabine smiled. "You're welcome." She then frowned at the cube. "Do you know who's turn it is?"
"Not a clue," Jaina replied and they both laughed. Sabine reset it and they fell silent, giving the game their full attention. Jaina beat her again, and then one more time before Sabine decided they should do something else.
"You just don't like to lose," Jaina said, grinning. She'd finally found the one thing she could beat Sabine at and was enjoying herself.
"Oh, and you do?" Sabine retorted. Jaina shrugged, still grinning. "I came up with this idea, so now it's your turn."
"Okay," Jaina said slowly, thinking. "How about you teach me that move you used the other day during training?"
"Oh, you mean the one where I had you pinned in ten seconds?" Jaina rolled her eyes. "No, I think I'll keep that one to myself for now. Can't have you learning all my secrets." She grinned at Jaina. "But, there are a few I can show you if you want."
Jaina nodded and they cleared a space in the room to use. The mood was far less serious than it usually was when they trained; of course, that probably had something to do with Ahsoka not being around and the bottle of whiskey being over half-gone. And, being as competitive as they were, the impromptu lesson inevitably dissolved into an all-out grappling match.
Jaina had finally managed to get an edge over Sabine and almost had her pinned when Ahsoka walked into the room. She eyed them both, along with the bottle of whiskey sitting on the table. Jaina immediately froze, afraid she was going to be in trouble. Sabine, on the other hand, took advantage of Jaina's distraction and broke her hold. Within seconds, she had Jaina pinned. Jaina grunted in frustration and shook herself free.
"Next time," Ahsoka said, smirking, "don't allow yourself to become distracted." And without another word, she walked into her room, shutting the door behind her. Jaina stared after her, shaking her head.
"Yeah," Sabine said, playfully shoving her, "what she said." She went to shove her again, but Jaina anticipated it. She grabbed her arm and twisted, and the fight was on.
Later on, while lying in bed, Jaina realized two things. The first was that she and Sabine were more alike than she'd originally thought. And she'd also helped ease some of the aching homesickness Jaina had been feeling of late, and her offer of trying to help find her parents meant a lot.
The second was something she hadn't given a second thought to, until today. The voice at the temple site had asked her who she was; she'd had no answer for him because, at the time, she thought she didn't know. The truth was, she'd always known. The Empire had just made her forget. More to the point, they'd—quite literally—beaten it out of her, ensuring she would conform. Ensuring her complete loyalty to them.
She'd been so young and naïve back then, she never realized what was happening. Her people were proud; proud of their heritage, their culture, their traditions. And they were fiercely loyal to one another. Her parents hadn't raised her to think or act any differently. Without realizing she was doing it, Sabine had helped remind her that, above all else, she was a Mandalorian.
A few weeks later, she was relaxing in her room after training when Sabine appeared at the door. "I spoke with my mother today," she said. There was some hesitation in her voice, and Jaina immediately sat up and steeled herself.
"Your parents are alive and on Mandalore." She stopped, and Jaina knew there was something she wasn't saying.
"But…" Jaina prompted.
"But," Sabine said, taking a deep breath, "they're not in Sundari anymore."
"Okay," Jaina said slowly. She should've been happy, but something in Sabine's tone and body language told her it wasn't all good news. "So, where are they?"
Sabine hesitated, then sighed. "I don't know how else to say this. They're with your family. Your clan."
Jaina stared at her, not sure she heard her right. "My…what?"
"Your clan," Sabine repeated. "That's why it didn't take long to find them. My mother didn't even have to look. They've been fighting alongside her and all the other clans, against the Empire. That armor you saw? It was theirs."
Sabine started to look uncomfortable under Jaina's harsh gaze, as she tried to comprehend what she was hearing. She slowly shook her head.
"So they lied to me," she bit out angrily. Sabine flinched at her tone.
"I'm sorry," Sabine said sympathetically. "They must've had their reasons. But they're alive. And there's no way the Empire can find them if they decide to go looking." Her tone was placating, and Jaina knew she was trying to calm her down.
"You're right," she replied flatly. "Thanks for letting me know."
Sabine inclined her head slightly, then she was gone. Jaina got up and shut the door behind her. They lied to me, she thought over and over, as she angrily paced the floor. They'd been lying to her, her whole life. And if they'd been lying about something as important as this, what else had they lied about?
Her anger boiled over and she grabbed the first thing she saw—two of the small mechanical parts Ahsoka had given her to practice with—and threw them as hard as she could. They bounced off the metal wall with a satisfying bang that echoed around the small room.
She stopped pacing and sat back down on her bed, trying to get her anger under control. She knew if she didn't, it wouldn't be long before Ahsoka came in, and she wasn't in the mood for another lecture about her lack of control.
Sabine was right: they must've had their reasons. But until she was able to ask them, she'd never know why. And who knew if she'd ever get the chance to ask. It wasn't like she could hop on the next transport home. She took a deep breath and slowly blew it out.
Patience. It was something Ahsoka incessantly preached, and it was something Jaina didn't have much of. But, right now, she had no choice. She needed to be patient. Her mission was here, and she intended to see it through to the end.
But as soon as it was over; as soon as she was out from under the Empire's thumb, she was going home.