Disclaimer : I don't own Gintama and this story is a headcanon

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Chapter 1 : Null Desire

As the world rotates, the season goes by. The heat on the air finally went down and dry leaves had rained onto the street, breeding pathways with the colour that matched the sunset. Loud roars and chants were filling the streets of Kabuki-cho, while some other people in matching clothes were carrying miniature shrines on their backs. People in Edo were celebrating the autumn season by holding an extravagant festival and by the looks of it, everyone were super enthusiastic.

A group of people stayed away from the crowd and decided to spend their time near the river on the outskirt of Kabuki district. As you can guess, they were the main casts of the anime accompanied by some of their buddies (minus the misfits and the polices, because they happened to run to each other). The old land lady picked that place because it was a bit less noisy and the view was beautiful enough to please her sentimental side. She also invited some friends because nobody would have enjoyed a seasonal party by themselves, a reason to justify the anime cliche where a big pile of people would gather in certain circumstances. There were the Yorozuya, Otose's bar occupants, the homeless guy, gorilla woman plus her eyepatch bodyguard, freaky ninja, shogun's sister herself, and the visitors from Yoshiwara.

The children were playing with the big white furball called Sadaharu and the others were enjoying the fresh hot ocha brought by Shinpachi, while Gintoki was sleeping soundly on the grasses facing the sun. Sometimes the purple kunoichi would try to mess with his face but he managed to unconcsciously jab her right on the cheek. Unbeknownst to her, she wasn't the only person who targeted their attention to the silver samurai. The other person was a kind of ninja just like her, without the masochistic attitude.

Tsukuyo, who also sat on the grasses, gazed the river with her chin rested on her fist while occasionally stealing a glance to the sleeping man a bit far beside, paying a bit too much attention to his graceful sleeping face. He truly has great looks although nobody ever really mentioned it, and he's also a strong protective guy to top it off. She may have been able to conceal her feelings for him towards anyone, but her heart would always find a way to beat very fast whenever he's around.

It's fine though, since she will be keeping the feeling to herself, unnoticed.

It's fine, because he would never bother to be in a love relationship, especially with her.

It's fine, since he would never think of her as someone special.

It's fine, because they will stay as good friends only, forever.

Because... Why would him? Why would he thought more about her? She was just a mere passerby on his life that happened to become one of his best friend. There's no way their relationship could evolve to something else, and she accepted the fact that her love went unrequited. But the pain never goes away, like a stake that pierced through her heart. The secret she buried deep in her heart was acting against her.

She had gazed him for quite a long time, and she didn't realize a man that took a seat next to her.

"What a lucky guy"

Tsukuyo startled at his words that pulled her out from the daydream. He was the man that wears the iconic shades wherever he goes, and his outfit screamed poverty. Tsukuyo only stared at him, puzzled on his statement.

"You seemed to be interested with him," Hasegawa continued.

"W-what are you talking about?" Tsukuyo's cheeks had reddened after hearing him.

"Well, I like to make assumptions, sorry if I said something wrong, hehe," he said while waving his hand back and forth.

"It was just...I was.." Tsukuyo had some troubles picking her words before sighing loudly.

"You're right," she admitted.

"I see... Gintoki. Quite a pick, but you're clearly not the first though," his eyes (or his shades) faced the annoying glasses ninja that kept on pestering the sleeping man.

"I'm not trying to compete, if that's what you mean"

"I'm just saying that you shouldn't waste too much time, you'll never know the things he would do," he said while standing up and litting his cigarette. Tsukuyo didn't have any word to say, and the frown was apparent on her face.

"Good luck," he tapped her shoulder before walking somewhere else, leaving her sitting on the grass relieved.

She was somehow tense when he confronted her, probably because she was caught looking at Gin. Therefore she decided to just take a smoke there, clearing her mind from any thoughts about him.

The smoke from her kiseru danced around the air, swirling around, uncaring of any disturbances that came from the festival. It's really ironic, on the most cherished day in Japan, her mood was the exact opposite of happy. At least on her day off, she got some tobacco to waste, not the worst day on her life.

She looked at her surroundings, the kids went to watch the shrine marching near the streetside, and the elders were in a long chatter while sipping tea and gulping some snacks. Everyone seemed to be enjoying their day when she was stuck to herself. She didn't mind being alone in the crowd, but she felt... stranded, lost in the stream of time, and her only friend was the pipe she used to smoke.

She went to inhale some more of it, blowing some puffs of white smokes towards the clear air of Kabuki-cho. She did it again and again for God knows how long before a hand took the pipe from her.

"I can't sleep with all the smoke you produced, damn woman," the man grumbled. Out of all people, the man she wanted to see the least showed up in front of her.

"Hey! Give it back!" she shouted.

He spinned the kiseru on his hand and went to the chatting group. She almost stood up to pursue him, but he walked back to her spot with a cup of tea on his hand.

"How about this? I'll hold your pipe for now, and you just enjoy this tea as the exchange," he gave the cup to her and she received it on her hand.

"What the hel-," before she could finish her sentence, he went down to continue sleeping, this time really close to her sitting spot. She was surprised and felt really uncomfortable, her heartbeat skyrocketed and her cheeks couldn't get any hotter. She put the cup on her other side and looked nervously at him.

Too close, but she never wanted to move either, a dilemma she quite enjoyed in her heart. She could see his peaceful sleeping face, his waving silver locks, his strong arms that pillowed his head, and everything else up close. Contrasting with the fierce attitude he had shown in the battles prior, he looked so gentle and vulnerable beside her.

She wondered how the man could make her tremble so easily.

She wondered if he realized that.

Maybe it was finally time she let him know. It was time for her to be free from her own secret.

To Be Continued