Author's Note: Hello everyone! First of all, let me thank you for your constant support. I am really happy to know you have enjoyed the last chapter. It was truly one of my favourites to write. Unfortunately, I have the feeling you will want to kill me after this one. I will keep my fingers crossed about that, though.

Chapter VIII

The cold wind was blowing, chasing people away as they rushed to find warm places to protect themselves. The city seemed to be rather empty due to the frosty weather. However, even though the day had woken up rather cloudy and gloomy, there was still some effervescence in the grey colours of the sky.

Nathan Grant carefully observed the roads in front of him, arms crossed against his chest. Somehow the peace and quietude of Buxton had taken him by surprise. Still, it was undoubtedly a welcome sight as his mind was still swirling around the trial and around what had happened next.

A sigh escaped Nathan's lips. Both Elias and Jenny had been sent to prison, and he knew he should have felt relieved that chapter was finally over. However, there was something stopping him from finally relaxing: Mountie Fortin's family. Nathan had always known it was a possibility, but when he had come face to face with Mr. and Mrs. Fortin, Thomas' parents, right before the trial, the memories from the incident had filled his mind.

He could still feel Mrs. Fortin's arms around him when she had pulled him into a hug, tears silently rolling down her cheeks. Mr. Fortin had stood by Bill's side, trying to look strong as his wife crumbled in Nathan's arms. None of them had blamed him for what had happened. Nathan knew Bill had explained everything to them before meeting him, but the ache in his heart had not subsided. Nathan guessed the pain would not lessen any time soon, no matter what people said.

I know you would have gladly given up your life if that meant keeping everyone else safe. That's you, Nathan, but… You are here, and don't you think that means you now owe it to yourself to live your life at the best of your abilities?

Nathan took a deep breath in as Elizabeth's voice echoed in his mind, and forced himself to stay focused. That was why he did not even move when he felt someone stop right next to him, eyes also fixated on the scenery in front of them.

"I know you want to go back to Allie as soon as possible, but would you mind if we eat breakfast first?" Bill asked without taking his eyes from the street, and Nathan looked at him. "Just a quick bite before our trip back home."

"I'm not really hungry."

"And I'm not really asking. I'm just trying to be polite." Bill informed him before walking down the short steps in front of them. Nathan watched him walk in direction of a café, knowing there was no point in trying to escape from it. So, he straightened up his back, and followed Bill.

Moments later, both Judge and Mountie were occupying a table of a rather busy coffee shop. Bill requested for some coffee and a sandwich before looking at Nathan. Understanding he would have to eat something as well, Nathan requested for a coffee and a slice of pie.

When the waitress walked away, Nathan folded his arms against his chest, and looked at Bill. The older man was casually observing his surroundings.

"So, what did you want to tell me?" Nathan decided to ask, and the Judge looked at him. "I know there's something you want to tell me."

"I just want to make sure you're all right before we head back home." Bill eventually said, trying to look nonchalant, but failing terribly at it. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm glad it's over." Nathan promptly responded, but since Bill continued looking at him, the Mountie took a deep breath, and dropped his arms. "You know how this works, Bill; I just want to put this all behind me. Once I get home, I want to focus on Allie. All of this has affected her more than I wanted it to."

"You know, you never told me why you refused the promotion." Bill commented all of a sudden, and Nathan stared at him. "In fact, last time we talked about it, you told me you had accepted it. Then, at the Christmas' Festival I hear you had changed your mind."

Nathan stared at Bill, thinking carefully about what the Judge was telling him. Then, he took a deep breath, knowing that there was no running away from that topic. Not when Bill had been the one to initiate it.

"Allie." Nathan eventually explained, his eyes meeting Bill's. "I did it because of Allie."

"Ah…" that was the moment the waitress returned with their orders. Nathan reached out for his cup of coffee while Bill reached out for his sandwich. Bill was about to take a bite of his food when he noticed the look Nathan was sending his way. "What?"

"What does 'ah' mean?" Nathan dared to ask without putting his coffee down, and Bill stared at him. The Mountie simply continued looking at his friend, waiting for an enlightenment.

"I was thinking about Jack." Nathan tensed up at that, his posture rigid as he continued staring at Bill. A moment of silence rolled between the two men, and Nathan silently took in the look in Bill's face; he was clearly recalling something. So, Nathan waited even though he was reticent about what was about to transpire. Mountie Jack Thornton was not a topic he discussed that recurrently, and he was concerned about what Bill was going to say next. "I just remembered that even though Jack loved Hope Valley, and adored Elizabeth, he was always eager to fight the good fight."

"So I've heard." Nathan responded when Bill paused, and the Judge nodded at that.

"Yeah, fighting the good fight was who he was." the older man observed, a smile on his face. "Hearing you talk about your niece was…different."

Nathan had no idea if that was supposed to be a compliment, but decided not to say anything. Instead, he kept silent while Bill continue to reminisce.

"Jack was my best friend," he commented all of a sudden before looking at Nathan, "but I have to say thank you." now that took Nathan off guard, and he knew it showed, because Bill was quick to continue, "It's a different point of view, which is always refreshing."

"Allie has been my priority ever since she was born." Nathan heard himself say, "When my sister passed away, Allie became the most important person in my life. Thankfully, Headquarters have been quite understanding, and aside from having to travel around constantly, I've always managed to serve in simpler assignments that rarely keep me away from home for a long period of time."

"That's always good to know." Bill observed with a nod, and Nathan raised an eyebrow at that. "I'm pretty sure someone will appreciate the obvious dedication you have for your niece."

Nathan was pretty sure there was a double meaning in that remark, but decided not to ask. Instead, he leaned against the back of his chair, and crossed his arms against his chest one more time.

"I'm just saying people in Hope Valley are quite grateful for your commitment to our town." Bill continued before taking a sip of his coffee. "I know you didn't have the easiest start, but now no one can see our town without you helping keeping it safe."

"Oh yes, I still remember the warm welcome I received when I first arrived to Hope Valley." Nathan observed before shaking his head when Bill raised both eyebrows at his comment. "However, I knew from the beginning I had big shoes to fill. Mountie Jack Thornton was a first-rate Constable. He was tremendously well known by all Mounties, being one of the finest. I knew I would have to work really hard once I arrived to Hope Valley."

"Well, I guess I have to say it," Bill started, catching Nathan's attention "Thank you for not giving up on our town."

Nathan dropped his head at that, and tried to fight back a smile. It was curious that Bill had thanked him when, in all honesty, it should be the other way around. Hope Valley had become a home for Allie, and subsequently it had become a home to him too. Bill was right; things had not been easy at the beginning, but like Nathan had said, he had always known it would be a difficult assignment. He still remembered what he had felt when he had first received the notice for his new commission, and enthusiasm had not been one of the emotions he had felt back then.

"So, what are you going to do once we are back?" Bill asked all of a sudden, and Nathan raised his eyes at the question. "Besides making sure Allie knows you are back. Do you have any plans?"

Once again, Nathan was sure there was a double meaning behind that question. It would be futile to say he had not noticed that Bill did seem to have a knack for messing with him. Taking a deep breath, the Mountie reached out for his coffee.

"You mean aside from going back to work?"

"As much as I appreciate your dedication to your job, don't forget there are other things you probably need to take care of." Bill pointed out with a smirk. Then, he took a sip of his own drink before placing the cup down. "A word of advice: stop thinking so hard and just do it. Besides, weren't you the one who gave Elizabeth the plaque with Emerson's quote: always do what you are afraid to do?"

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying I know first-hand how hard and demanding our job can be," Bill declared, "But I still remember that afternoon we spent chopping down wood. We talked about baseball, and I told you something about your favourite player."

"You said he didn't have enough power." Nathan responded, recalling that moment quite well. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"I'm just trying to see if you actually agree with the quote you engraved on the plaque." Bill pointed out, quite directly. Then, he reached out for his coffee. "Just don't take too long figuring that one out."

Nathan parted his lips to speak, but stopped himself. Bill's words echoed in his mind for a while as his eyes focused on the coffee cup before him. Unconsciously, Nathan let out a sigh, and tried to regain his trail of thought. When he spoke, he made sure he kept his eyes away from the man next to him.

"I can't do it." Nathan did not need to look at Bill to know what expression had surfaced on his face. "It's not a matter of power. It's a matter of thinking what's best for everyone."

"So, what are you saying?" Bill inquired, but Nathan still refused to look at the older man. "Does this mean you're giving up just like that?"

Nathan swallowed hard at the question, and looked down at his hands. When had he closed them into fists? For a moment, Nathan just stared at his white knuckles before he finally yielded, and turned to face Bill.

"My priority has always been taking care of my niece, and more recently making sure our town is safe." the Mountie explained. "My biggest concern has always been making sure that Allie is always safe and well taken care of, because we never know when something may happen."

The sound of a gunshot echoed in Nathan's ears, but he pushed the memory away before it could surface from the back of his mind. Instead, Nathan forced himself to continue.

"Allie's future has always been my biggest concern, and I…" Nathan cleared his throat as he realised he was saying too much for someone who always spoke too little. He locked eyes with Bill, and dropped his hands on the table. "I can't involve anyone else in this life. Allie needs me just as much as I need her."

"So, you are what? Making the choice for Elizabeth?" Bill inquired without missing a beat. "Nathan, do you remember what I told you about her? Elizabeth is stronger than she looks, and life has taught her to look before she leaps. If you decide to go down that road, you will probably not like the results."

"I'm fully aware of that, but at least she will be safe." Nathan told him before shaking his head. "I can't give her what she needs, what she deserves. I…" the Mountie swallowed hard once more as he thought about what he was about to say, and tried to ignore the ache in his chest. "What happened with Mountie Fortin… When Elizabeth thought I had been the one who had been shot… I know it was not me she was seeing when she ran to me."

There was a pause. There was a heartbeat.

Bill let out a sigh.

Nathan shook his head.

"I understand why she did it. I will never hold that against her. Her feelings for her late husband will always be part of who she is, but that is exactly why I can't do it." Nathan continued, "Besides, if we're being honest, Lucas can offer her much more than I can. He is well educated, well-travelled…"

"Nathan, this is not a competition."

"You're right; it isn't. Not anymore." Nathan agreed before reaching out for his hat. Standing up, Nathan straightened his back, and placed the hat on top of his head. "I'll go take care of the horses so we can leave."

"Nathan…"

"And I'm saying this just to be polite." Nathan added before tipping his hat. With that said, the Mountie made his way out of the coffee shop, and walked in direction of the livery.

It was only when Nathan spotted Newton that he stopped. Taking a long deep breath in, he reached out for his horse, and started preparing everything for the trip. The events of the past few days swirled around him as Nathan went from Newton to Bill's horse, and even though his face was blank, his heart was a mess.

Elizabeth, would you like to have dinner with me? Maybe at the café?

What's in your heart?

Nathan reached out for the saddle, and stopped. Dropping his head, he tried to control his emotions and his thoughts, but the harder he tried, the worse they seemed to get. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath.

You can't avoid Elizabeth forever, Constable. It's a small town.

Nathan, please, don't shut me out. Just talk to me

If you decide to go down that road, you will probably not like the results.

"Nathan."

The Mountie's eyes snapped open at Bill's voice, and he forced himself to straighten up. Reaching out for the saddle, he turned around, and made his way towards the Judge's horse.

"We're ready." was all he said as he quickly yet expertly prepared Bill's horse. Although Nathan refused to look at Bill, he knew what kind of expression he would find in the Judge's face if he did. Perhaps that was why Nathan repudiated the idea of looking at his friend; the look of disappointment would only make things worse. So, instead of saying anything, Nathan simply walked away from Bill's horse, and mounted Newton.

The trip back to Hope Valley was both long and uncomfortable, but this time Bill did not bother to say something. In a way, Nathan was glad for the silence; it offered him the perfect opportunity to try and gather his thoughts, but on the other hand there was a sense of displeasure in the air he could not ignore.

Still, Nathan knew he was not wrong. Even though his last conversation with Elizabeth had not been about what had happened between them after Mountie Fortin had been shot, it had lingered in the air. She had tried to be supportive, just like always. In fact, that was a characteristic that Nathan admired about the young teacher; she was always there to help him feel better. Elizabeth had done that since day one, and regardless of the ups and downs they had gone through, that had never changed.

The cold wind blew, and Nathan found himself thinking about the first time he had looked at Elizabeth not as a teacher, but as a woman. It had happened when she had told Allie about Emerson; her passion for literature, her love for her students, her concern about helping his niece had been incredibly moving. Never before had he been in the presence of a teacher so dedicated for her job, to her students, to herself.

You matter to me.

Nathan nearly winced when his own voice echoed in his ears, and he unconsciously increased his grip on the reigns. He would never take his confession back; he owed it to himself to be honest about it. Unfortunately, it also put him in a precarious position. He knew Elizabeth would use that revelation against him, not as a weapon, but as a way to try to salvage their friendship. That was who she was, after all; the believer, the trustworthy, the loyal.

Nevertheless, Nathan knew he had to be true to his own believes. No matter how much he wanted to be with Elizabeth, he could not tell her just how important she was to him. Perhaps before the incident, he would have not thought twice about exposing his feelings in a clearer way, but now…

Mountie Fortin's death had changed everything.

Even though it hurt Nathan to think about the conversation he needed to have with Elizabeth, he knew he could not back down. He had made the mistake of believing he could actually pursue a life with her, and he had to fix it.

All of a sudden, Nathan remembered watching Elizabeth dance with Lucas at the ladies' choice waltz, and his chest hurt. He bit his lower lip as he remembered how Elizabeth had approached Lucas, silently inviting him to dance with her.

Lucas Bouchard. Truly, he was the best match. No matter what secrets he still had, he had always been there for Elizabeth. The two of them had many things in common, and Nathan knew Lucas would move heaven and earth to make sure Elizabeth was both happy and safe.

"Nathan." the Mountie snapped from his thoughts at Bill's voice, and turned his head. Bill was behind him, standing proud on top of his horse, and Nathan blinked at the grave expression on his face. "Don't be a coward."

With that said, Bill motioned for his horse to move. Nathan mutedly watched as the Judge went past him, and it was then that he realised they had arrived at Hope Valley. When had that happen?

Shaking his head, Nathan motioned for Newton to move. He silently took in the fact Bill did not go straight to the livery. Instead, he went to the centre of the city without looking behind him. This time, Nathan did let out an exhausted sigh. Don't be a coward, had Bill said. What was that supposed to mean? He was not being a coward; he was simply trying to protect Elizabeth. Was that so wrong?

"Constable Grant!" a voice called out all of a sudden, and Nathan looked behind him. He was caught by surprise when he saw Mrs. Weise making her way towards him.

"Mrs. Weise, is something wrong?" Nathan asked when the woman reached his side, "Is Allie all right?"

"Oh yes, she's fine. She's at school." Mrs. Weise answered with a small smile. "I just wanted to tell you Allie asked to stay with Mrs. Thornton while you were out. I thought it'd be better to warn you as soon as I spotted you."

Nathan tried to keep his face neutral as he tipped his head. Allie had spent the night at Elizabeth's?

"Thank you for letting me know, Mrs. Weise; I will talk to both Allie and Mrs. Thornton after school."

The woman simply smiled at that before moving away. Nathan watched her walk away, and felt his heart squeeze as he thought about what he had to do. Perhaps it was a sign. Maybe it meant he truly should have that serious conversation with Elizabeth, and get over it.

Still, the agony in his chest was a constant reminder of how painful that conversation would be to him, and maybe, just maybe, to Elizabeth as well.

To Be Continued