This isn't good-none of it, any of it.
She's here, she's with the Doctor again, and she should be happy but she isn't-something, everything is wrong, and it feels like she's lying to the Doctor, pretending to be happy.
She'll have to tell her eventually, and-
Darkness malevolence violence fear rage panic anger jealousy zeal-
Shadows embers hunting instinct fury kill kill kill-
Fire stone knife sharp blood on sand hunt hunt hunt-
Danger, says the TARDIS, in a voice loud enough for Yaz to hear. Warning.
"Something's coming," the Doctor whispers, drawing Yaz's attention. "Something bad-something very, very not good."
"Can we fight it?" Yaz asks, uneasy. There's a glint in the Doctor's eyes that she's never seen before, and she doesn't like that, doesn't like it all. "Doctor?"
"I don't know," the Doctor answers, frowning. "I've never-" she grimaces. "I don't know what this is," she says, the fear in her eyes giving way to a more familiar energetic sparkle, and Yaz relaxes-even if the change is a bit forced. "But I'm going to find out."
We, Yaz thinks but doesn't say. Out loud, she asks, "what about Ryan and Graham?"
The Doctor winces. "Yaz-"
"They-we should let them know you're okay."
"Get the Fam back together again."
The Doctor's an optimist, Yaz knows, but something is wrong and she can see the gears turning in her eyes, feel her fear, her anxiety, her absolute fury at not knowing what to do so she steps forward, nearly bumping shoulders with the Doctor, and nods. "Right, then. To Ryan and Graham."
"Yaz, when we find them, will they come back with us?" The Doctor asks her. "With me?"
Yaz's heart twists. "I-"
"I've gone and lost them for good, haven't I?"
"It wasn't your fault-"
"It always is."
Yaz scowls. She'd pilot the TARDIS herself if she could, get them to somewhere where they could relax, have fun for a change. The Doctor needs it-if Yaz is honest, she does too.
Beneath her feet, the TARDIS hums, and then they're moving. The Doctor hasn't moved. Neither has Yaz-not that she'd do any good-but the TARDIS moves anyways. They're flying, and as the Doctor stares at her, wide-eyed, Yaz stares down at the console, startled.
"I didn't-"
"I think you did," the Doctor says, smiling a smile that's small but genuine and bright. "She likes you," she says, shaking her head. "Yasmin Khan, you're flying the TARDIS."
"But I-what?"
"I hope you know where we're going," mumbles the Doctor, peering down at controls, her nose wrinkling as she squints at the screen. "Because I certainly don't."
Across the planet, four Time Lords look up, uneasy, and stare at the horizon.
Something is coming. None of them know what-none of them, except for one.
She opens the locket and her world expands, grows, brightens until it's too much. Her world fills with gold. Everything aches-aches in strange places, places she'd forgotten existed, and then it's over and she's still her, sitting on the sand, the wind tossing pale grains over her ankles, shins, and toes.
She blinks. Lets out a slow breath, inhales.
She's back.
She's Jade again.
Only it doesn't quite feel like it-doesn't quite feel like it did before. She's still...human, obvious differences aside. There's still human thoughts bouncing around in her head-not entirely unwelcome. Being Ciara had been strange-almost refreshing, but still strange.
And now she's back. And everything is crashing in all at once. And she's-
Betrayed.
The pain pricks at the center of her chest, hard, fast, and deep as the memories come back-or at least, what's left of them. Everything is foggy. She growls, clenches the empty shell of a locket in her left hand, and slowly rocks to her feet.
Scattered, hazy, lost. Her memories are scrambled and it's not the locket's fault, not completely.
She nearly sits down again, the weight of the realization heavy in her hearts as she looks out at the horizon. This place-Ciara had memories here, fake memories, of nights spent searching for shells on a shallow shoreline, of mornings spent watching the sun slip from the sea to the sky.
She growls again, drops the locket onto the sand and scuffs one foot over it, covering it up until it's buried, out of sight and out of mind.
And then she walks.
And she remembers.
They grow up together, they're friends as much as they can be, even though that's a bit odd, in everyone else's eyes, and they've more important things to focus on.
Nothing changes after they take their new names. Ember's still the same as she's always been, if more energetic, more excited. She, before anyone else, has always looked forward to this-to being able to explore new places, see new things.
And it is exciting, Jade knows. But Gallifrey is their home, and-
Moments before Jade crosses into the view of Ember, Sage, and Scythe, she stops. Takes a breath. She's fine-needs to be fine and very much not angry, because if she's angry Ember'll sense it, and-
The next memory hits hard.
Ember's got her against a wall, and both of them are panting, Ember's eyes are bright and she's gasping for air as she holds her shoulder, something cold, steel in her other hand.
"I'm doing this for you," she grinds out, her eyes flashing in a way that's monstrous and stunning all at once. "Jade-"
"I hate you," Jade snarls, shoving her away. "I hate you!" Her throat is thick and there are tears, boiling hot and fat and real building behind her eyes as she jerks away, trembling, anger rising fast and fierce in her chest.
"No, you don't." Softly, gently, Ember touches her mind, and Jade takes another step backward, incensed, a low, snarling sort of sound rumbling deep in her throat.
"Jade," Ember tries again, but Jade just sneers at her, turns toward the door. Ember isn't moving. She isn't sure what her plan was-maybe she never had one to begin with. Or-
Pain erupts in Jade's head and she sinks to the floor, yelling, groaning as stars dance before her eyes. Light, swift is Ember's touch as her thin fingers press against Jade's forehead, and Jade screams, knowing what's coming, but then everything's gone and her world goes black.
"Jade?"
When she opens her eyes, she can still hear herself screaming.
"Jade!" Ember's loud and cheery as always, and Jade forces a smile to compensate.
"Hello," she says, beaming, because there's definitely some part of her that's excited to be normal again, back with-well. "Everything go alright while I was out?"
"Everything's great," Ember says, "are you okay?"
Inwardly, Jade snorts.
No, she's not okay. She's the absolute furthest thing from okay.
You took my memories my memories are gone and it's your fault your fault your fault-
Out loud, she nods, says, "I'm fine."
And Ember believes her. Is perfectly content to move on as if nothing's happened at all.
Genuinely, genuinely, Jade can't tell her her friend-former friend?-is stupid or just unbelievably naive.
"We need to leave soon, go find Stele." Ember reaches up and snatches a strand of hair out of her eyes as the wind blows. She turns, tilting her head slightly, and glances back to where Scythe is standing down on the shoreline, alone.
Something tugs at the back of her mind-something isn't right, something entirely uninvolved with her present circumstances. Something's-
"Sheffield, I think," Ember mumbles, as if she's having this conversation completely with herself. "Why she'd go there, I don't know, maybe…" she trails off, turns toward Scythe. "Hey! Where'd Sage go?"
Slowly, the older Time Lord lifts a hand and points to one of the nearby shops.
Ember's temper visibly flares as she glares at the shop in question. "Ah, hells," she mumbles, shaking her head. "I'll go get her. You coming? Or…?"
"I'll stay here."
The excitement in Ember's eyes dies a little, at that, and Jade almost laughs. "Does Sage even have any money?"
"Probably not?" Ember winces. "Oh, jeez…"
She walks away, still muttering, and Jade turns back to the ocean with a snort.
Pain fear rage violence hunt hunt hunt-
She jolts, whirls around so fast her head spins, and glares up at the sky, senses stretching outward in an attempt to pinpoint the source of the sudden burst of energy.
Down the shoreline, she feels Scythe's surprise snap against her own.
"Hey!" She yells, running forward as he does, the two of them meeting in the middle, by a fence that separates them from the tourists and beachcombers walking down the beach. "Did you feel that just now?"
"Yes." He's breathless, and she only manages to catch a flicker of his anxiety before he wraps his mind in shields stronger than her own, almost impenetrable. "Jade, we need to leave, now."
And she nods, but her mind's back to the shop and Sage and Ember. "Ember and Sage-"
"I know." Scythe winces. "Sage ran off, I didn't have time to warn her."
"Warn her," Jade echoes, scowling. "Warn her of what, exactly?"
He sighs, quiet for a second, and then says, "the Hunters, Jade. The Hunters are after me."
The shop is, in Ember's opinion, way too bright and way too loud. It's too small, the aisles cramped and narrow as she works her way around the shelves and racks, searching the place for Sage's tangle of bright red curls.
She doesn't find anything-Sage might as well not be here at all.
The radio's crackly and full of static, some pop song that's five years out of style, but Ember finds herself humming anyway. Places like this make you want to buy things. They're playful and carefree and vibrant and human, with absolutely no worries thrown to the outside world at all.
She finds Sage standing in the middle of an aisle surrounded by jewelry, two bracelets and a necklace in her hands. She's mumbling-talking to herself, and she doesn't notice Ember's even there until-
"Do you even have any money, Sage?"
"Stars!" The younger girl squeaks, whirling around, her eyes flashing. "Why on earth would you scare me like that?"
Ember snickers. "Sorry."
Sage looks...better, she thinks, watching as she turns back to the shelf. The column to her right is completely covered in bracelets and stringy-sort of wraps, the kind that look like they'd fall apart as soon as they were in place. She runs a finger across one, and even her energy seems brighter, less clouded and...dark, like it had been when they'd first found her.
Worry twists across Ember's chest. She turns, pretends to pick through the t-shirt rack behind her. Sage.
Yes?
How exactly did you wake up?
Sage's hand drops to her side. I had dreams, she says, bad dreams.
Ember waits.
Of...the last time I died.
Oh. Oh. That explains a lot, actually. Ember's hearts ache for her, truly-her age shows in everything from the way she carries herself to the terms she uses, and this world, their lives now, can be too much for someone like her, someone so young.
Regeneration is scary, the first few times, she says, tone soft, comforting. But-
I think I'm going to keep my locket, Sage interrupts. I don't...have bad memories of being human. And I want to remember.
Whatever you think is best, Ember says, and their conversation ends.
Sage puts the bracelets and the necklace back on the shelf.
Ember turns toward the door. "We should really-"
The door bursts open. At the front of the store, the cashier yelps.
Can't see anything- Jade's thoughts are loud, punctuated by fear. Ember, Sage, tell me you're in here.
Ember makes nervous eye-contact with Sage. We're here.
We need to go, Jade says, her tone leaving no room for question. Now. Right now.
The walk-run, really, they're all scared, even if she doesn't want to admit it-back to the TARDIS is different now that she's back in her right mind.
Because she can sense the TARDIS waiting for them, its presence soft, glimmering gently in the back of her mind as they approach. She's always been close with Ember's TARDIS, their bond second only to the one she had with her own. Ember's TARDIS always understood her in a way Ember never had, acted accordingly, even if it frustrated Ember, sometimes.
All Jade had ever done-everything she'd ever said-had been for Ember's sake. And she'd been repaid with-
"Right, then," she says once they're inside, pushing away her thoughts and her rage. "What're we up against?"
All eyes turn to Scythe.
She's never known the man to wilt under pressure but he seems ready to now. He slumps against the TARDIS' console, arms crossed over his chest, his eyes fixed on his shoes.
There's something wrong with him. If she's right, there's something-or a lot of things, most likely-that he isn't telling him. Normally that would be fine. Now, though…
"Scythe," she says, keeping her voice level, "whatever you're hiding, now would be a good time to come out with it."
"You've always been good about respecting secrets," Scythe says, his expression hardening.
Jade curls her lip. "Not when they endanger my friends."
Friends-how very in-character of her. The lie comes easily and quickly, entirely ignoring the fact that her friendship with all of these people might very well be in question, because there's a huge chunk of time and memory that she can't recall, and-
Regardless, her words seem to have the right effect, and Scythe nods, his lips pressing together, his head bowing as he takes a slow breath in. "Hunters," he says, "I never learned their names. They're hunters-assassins. I had a run in with them a few centuries ago, and they've been after me ever since."
"And you neglected to tell us this earlier...why?" Jade steps toward him, crosses her arms and gives him her best glare. "Scythe-if they're after you, they're after all of us. We were all on earth together, why-"
"I thought I was safe," Scythe hisses, cutting her off. "They didn't-they don't have the same time-traveling capabilities that we do, I thought earth would be the perfect place to hide."
"'Hiding' was never our plan," Ember says, "we always planned to return to Gallifrey, after the war."
The war-Jade's stomach twists at the mention. That she has memories off, memories crystal clear and painful, filled with an ache.
Ember's words seem to have a similar effect on Scythe, who goes pale, uneasy.
"They don't have time-travelling capabilities-at least, reliable ones." He says slowly. "If we can distract them, travel somewhere-anywhere-it'll throw them off our scent and they'll back off."
"For now," Jade says, grimacing. "We still need to find Stele."
The fifth and final member of their little group had always been the best of them-clever and cunning and witty, and a damn good pilot. But she was old, and just like Scythe, she'd run away to escape the impending dread of her final regenerations.
She was afraid of dying.
Jade had never held such reservations-but that, she knows, is the dichotomy of being a newer Time Lord.
Motivations and cowardice-her head aches as she dwells on the tipping point between memory and void. To the task at hand-
"We need somewhere to go," she tells Ember, "somewhere we can hide."
Ember nods. "Somewhere fun," she says, and at her side, Sage's eyes light up.
"D'you know where I've never been?" she asks, nearly quivering with excitement.
Jade can't help but smile. "Where?"
"America," Sage says, "colonial era, just after the Revolutionary War."
"After the war?" Ember frowns. "All the exciting stuff happens during the middle."
"Exciting," Scythe repeats, expression turning sour, unamused. "People died, Ember."
Ember winces. "Well...yes, but-"
"After the war it is," Jade says, starting toward the console.
Scythe barks out a laugh. "Are you going to fly us there?"
"I-" Memories, memories-she searches inside herself and comes up with nothing but the sad, bitter conclusion that after centuries of life and a decade of human existence, she still has no idea how to fly a TARDIS. She winces. "No. Have at it."
"Indeed." Scythe shares a smile with Ember, and together-without a single word of argument-they start the ship forward in tandem.
Jade wanders toward her bedroom, sufficiently embarrassed, and shuts the hall door behind her.
She can still hear Scythe and Ember laughing at her as she heads down the hall.