Quick A/N: I messed up the first chapter a bit so in order for this story to make sense assume that Ran saw Shinichi as himself(not Conan) when he told her everything. Sorry about the mess-up guys! Enjoy the story!
Ran remained crying for several minutes longer before she felt stable enough to make the short walk back to her house. She was starting to feel slightly guilty thinking back on how sad he had seemed when she told him to leave, but she quickly shook her head to dispel that thought from her mind. He deserved it, after all.
How could he think it was okay to just sit in the middle like that? He had basically just taken the worst of both worlds and she couldn't understand how someone as logical as him could've missed something so obvious. Even she had seen it, for crying out loud!
She was completely okay with the decision she had made. That is, until she wasn't.
She was in bed when the full weight of what she had done suddenly hit her.
He wasn't coming back. Not this time. She had told him to leave, and he had done so. She felt a sudden wave of regret and guilt wash over her. She still believed that he didn't deserve her forgiveness, at least not yet. But she wasn't quite sure if she was ready to give him up forever. Despite what he had done, she still loved him too much.
A part of her wanted to sprint over to his house immediately to apologize and beg him to stay. But her legs refused to function and she was locked to her bed by something she couldn't quite explain.
All she could do was curl up in her bed and cry, harder than she ever had before, endless streams of salty water running down her cheeks before dripping into a rapidly growing pool beneath her chin.
XXX
His legs felt like lead on the way home. Countless times he felt as if he could walk no more and that he would collapse on the sidewalk, but he forced himself to trudge onwards.
He had never been one to show weakness, and although there was almost nobody around to see him if he did, he still refused to break down in public.
Once he got to the privacy of his own home, he promised himself, he would let it all out.
And let it out, he did. He had barely stepped into his house before he collapsed onto the ground, his back against the front door. He cried, the feeling of the tears running down his cheeks almost completely foreign to him.
Tears that he had always been able to hold back, now refusing to be stopped in their journey from his eyes to the floor below. His mind was filled with regret and guilt, so overwhelming in magnitude that they threatened to crush him. And as if they accomplished their goal, his tall form seemed to shrink back to the seven-year old he despised so much.
And all he could do was cry.
XXX
She didn't sleep very well that night. The events that had transpired earlier that day kept replaying themselves in her mind, not letting her sleep, not letting her forget.
And if by some miracle she did manage to fall asleep, she almost immediately had a nightmare about Shinichi being killed and her last words to him would be to tell him to leave, and she would instantly wake up again. Wake up only to once again be tormented by her memories.
She was tempted to skip school that day. After all, it was pretty unlikely that she would be able to learn much given how tired she was, on top of the fact that her mind was filled with images of Shinichi that she couldn't get out.
But she figured that all she would do at home is lie in bed thinking about a certain detective, so she decided to go to school as she thought it could serve as a good distraction for her.
Turns out, she couldn't have been more wrong. She realized this as soon as she began her walk to school. She wasn't used to making the trip alone; even when Shinichi was gone, Conan(Shinichi?) would always walk with her. Now all she could think about was that she would always be alone on the way to school.
Things didn't get much better once school actually started. No matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't focus on what her teachers were saying. Her focus was constantly drawn to the empty seat next to her, thinking about how it would remain empty for at least the rest of the school year. Or worse, it could be taken by someone else!
She trudged her way through school, and Sonoko noticed. At first, Ran had been adamant about not saying anything, but eventually she folded if only to make Sonoko leave her alone.
"Alright, fine, I'll tell you if you promise to leave me alone, okay? And if you promise not to tell anyone else!"
"Okay, okay, I promise! Just… tell me what's going on," Sonoko said, for once seeming to be genuinely concerned rather than just trying to get the latest gossip.
"Alright, well, here's the thing. Shinichi came back," Ran said slowly, still not quite wanting to talk to Sonoko about it.
"Really? That's amazing!" she exclaimed, giving Ran a brief hug before splitting away again. "When did he come back?"
"Last night," Ran replied.
"Oh, that's so awesome!" Sonoko said, only now realizing that her friend was still upset as well as remembering that Shinichi still wasn't at school, she quickly backtracked. "Or, maybe not? What happened?"
Ran sighed and waited several moments before responding, trying to get her words in order to get the point across without revealing Shinichi's secret. "Well, basically, he lied to me about something pretty important. And I don't really feel like I can trust him anymore."
"Oh, well, what did he do?"
"I don't really want to talk about it," Ran replied, sighing again as she had expected the question. She wished she could tell Sonoko the truth, if only to talk about it with someone, but she knew that it was probably for the best that she didn't know.
"He didn't- I mean did he… with someone else?"
"No, no, of course not! Nothing like that!" she said quickly, not wanting Sonoko to get the wrong idea. "But… it's still a pretty big deal… for me at least."
"I see," Sonoko said, surprising Ran with her restraint in not asking for more details, something that she was grateful for since she didn't plan on telling her more. "So, what did you do?"
"I… told him to leave," she replied, "And he said he would be in America in a few days."
Sonoko's eyes widened in shock, not quite believing what she had just heard. "Wow," she said, that being the only word she was able to get out.
"Yeah. Do you think I did the right thing?" Ran realized it was a ridiculous question since Sonoko still didn't know what exactly Shinichi had done, but she still wanted an answer regardless.
"Well, I think that you waited for him for over a year. I think that you must still love him a lot," Sonoko said seriously, for once not bothering to tease her about her feelings for Shinichi, which Ran deeply appreciated. At least this once, she needed Sonoko's serious opinion rather than her teasing.
Sonoko continued, "But I also think that whatever he did must be really really terrible if you're willing to let all of that go. And I also think that I can't tell you if what you did was the right thing or not. That needs to be something you figure out for yourself. But in any case, I think it's in your best interest to tell him to stay here, at least until you can figure everything out."
Ran stayed silent, taking several long moments to process everything she said, finding there to be a lot of logic in her words. She was also extremely grateful that Sonoko was actually serious for once, and she remembered why she was still friends with her.
"Thank you, Sonoko," she said genuinely.
"No problem," Sonoko replied with a smile, "And just know that whatever you do choose, you have my full support, alright?"
Ran nodded, returning her smile.
Sonoko wanted to walk her back to her house as well, but Ran insisted on being left alone and finally was once she reminded Sonoko of the promise she had made.
The walk back gave Ran an opportunity to reflect. She had been miserable all day, every action she took reminding her of Shinichi. More specifically, reminding her of how she would never get to do it with him again. She didn't think it would affect her this much, considering she had been living without him for the past year, so she didn't think his continued absence would be much different from usual.
She realized now that that couldn't be further from the truth. Sure, she had been saddened by his absence, but she had always had the hope that he would one day return, and that hope was the only thing that got her through each day. Now, however, that hope was gone, extinguished like a candle flame to never be lit again.
She had never felt more alone in her life. With Conan gone, it was only natural that her house would seem more empty than before, but she was surprised to see that the same effect applied to her school as well.
Just the knowledge that he would never be there again somehow changed it completely for her. Before it had been a hope of what would be once he returned, but now it merely served as a reminder of what could never be.
Because of her. Because of what she told him to do.
She groaned in frustration. Why was this so hard? She wished that she would just get a sign that would tell her what to do. But that was ridiculous, things like that didn't happen in real life-
She froze when she saw the sign she was looking for, in the form of an envelope with her name scrawled in that handwriting she knew almost better than her own.
Hey guys! Thanks for reading the second chapter of my story! This took a lot longer than I had wanted it to, but things have been a bit intense with school starting up again and everything, so I thank you guys for your patience with this.
Besides that, it's my personal opinion that this second chapter is much better than the first one, so I would love to know what you guys think and I would really appreciate any kind of review at all!
There will be one more chapter to this story, so keep your eyes out for that! Hopefully it doesn't take as long as this one did lol. Thank you guys so much for reading I really appreciate it!